Word Count:11,817
Date: 01/11/05
Series: Mini
Rating: K+
Category: Relationships
Pairing/Focus: Lee, Kara
Warnings:
Summary:
Spoilers/Disclaimers: Disclaimer: I’m not making any profit from this story, just exorcising
the images that came into my head and refuse to let me sleep at night
Part One
It took a full minute from the time the Galactica completed its FTL jump until the deck crew reached the damaged Vipers lying in a crumpled heap at the back of the landing bay.
Lieutenant Kara “Starbuck” Thrace sat frozen for several of those seconds, too stunned to move or even think. Looking through the cracked visor of her helmet, she stared at the wrecked cockpit of her Mark II. Shattered glass crunched when she shifted a bit in her seat as the acrid stench of burning electrical systems began to seep through the crack into her helmet.
As much as she hated the smell, just this once she actually liked it…for it meant that she had survived.
I’m alive. I’m alive. She repeated the simple phrase several times before it finally sank into her stunned mind. “It worked,” she whispered in disbelief, then spoke again louder, filled with excitement. “Lee, it worked! We made it! We – ” She choked on her words when she finally raised her head and looked over at her best friend’s ship.
Captain Lee “Apollo” Adama’s Viper was a smoldering mass of twisted metal, one wing jagged and scorched from enemy fire and the other broken nearly in two from their last minute landing. All this she processed in a matter of seconds. But what her eyes were drawn to was the cockpit – what was left of it. The clear canopy was almost impossible to see through, the shattered fiberglass covered with cracks, but through a small section missing in the front she could make out the top of his silver helmet.
He wasn’t moving.
“Lee?” Kara spoke calmly although the icy fingers of fear began to wrap themselves about her thumping heart. Static came back through her intercom. “Lee, can you hear me? Please respond.” Nothing but static. His communication system must be down. She immediately began to pull off her helmet, her shaking hands fumbling awkwardly at the latch on the back.
Suddenly the canopy to her Viper was gone, and another pair of hands was helping to remove her helmet. Her hands stilled, momentarily shocked at the abrupt arrival of the deck crew. Now that she saw them, she could hear their muffled shouts as they swarmed over her ship and Lee’s, working quickly and efficiently to secure the damaged ships and their pilots.
Despite their appearance, Kara was not reassured. The only thing she wanted to do was get to Lee and make sure he was okay. “Get this frakking thing off me!” she howled, watching helplessly as Apollo’s shattered canopy was worked on. “GET IT OFF! NOW!” She could no longer see Lee. And that terrified her.
“Just a second, Lieutenant!” Callie’s soft voice sounded strained. “The latch is partially smashed. Hold on…almost…There!” One quick tug and the helmet disappeared.
In ten seconds flat she scrambled out of her ship, slid recklessly down the side, and shoved her way up the ladder to her friend’s side. Tyrol stood at the top of the ladder, having just managed to pry the shattered remains of the cockpit out of the way and was bent over, reaching inside to check on the man within.
“Lee?” she called again, her voice quivering with fear as she saw the figure curled up in the seat, unmoving. For a split second she feared the worst – that she had lost her closest friend forever, this time without the remotest chance of reprieve – but then saw his chest move. The immense tide of relief that flooded her body nearly sent her to her knees. Thank the Lords, she silently whispered, closing her stinging eyes for a moment to gather her composure. I’ve already lost him once. I couldn’t stand to do it again!
“Lee? Can you hear me? C’mon, Lee, wake up,” she coaxed, trying to project a light-hearted tone despite the fact that her words were unsteady to say the least. “I know you’re in there. You always did like to sleep in longer than you should. Wake up, Lee.” She paused to look over at the Chief Petty Officer, absently noticing his disheveled appearance. “Chief, we’ve got to get his helmet off, but we have to be careful. He could have injured his neck when we landed.”
“I know, Lieutenant,” he nodded, his eyes dark with concern, as he returned his gaze to the silent figure before them. “Here, you lift up his head, slowly, and I’ll work on getting his helmet off.” They cautiously raised the Captain’s head, both wincing as they got a good look at his battered and scarred helmet.
She nervously chewed her lower lip as the other man worked on the helmet’s latches which were surprisingly undamaged and easy to release. It’ll be a miracle if he walks away from this one, she decided. Aw, frak, it’s a miracle that he’s still alive, forget about walking away! Just as they managed to remove the helmet, a low moan broke the tense silence. Dark eyelashes fluttered against pale, bruised cheeks as the young Captain fought to regain consciousness.
Kara found herself looking into a pair of confused and unfocused blue eyes. For a long moment – too long in her opinion – a deafening silence reigned. For nearly the first time in her life, Kara Thrace was speechless.
Lee’s gaze roamed absently about the inside of his ruined Viper before he looked up at her. He blinked once, swallowed, and then slowly opened his mouth. “Look what you did to my ship,” came out softly.
Kara didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at his unexpected comment. She tried going for a laugh but it came out more like a strangled sob. Sniffling, she glared at him through watery eyes. “You’re welcome,” she managed. “At least its still in one piece…mostly. Are you all right?”
“I don’t know,” he mumbled absently, closing his eyes and leaning back against his headrest. “I think so,” he added with a weary sigh. “You?”
“A few more bumps and bruises to add to the collection but okay otherwise.” She smiled mischievously. “At least until Tyrol here sees what all we did to his ships.”
Tyrol let out a short laugh and shook his head. “Sirs, I’m not that crazy. The Old Man would have my head if I tried anything. Still,” he let out a soft whistle, “you sure did a number on these two. I don’t know whether it’d be better to try to repair them or cannibalize them for spare parts.”
Nodding in silent agreement, Kara turned back around and was shocked to see Lee struggling to his feet. “And where do you think you’re going?” she sputtered in disbelief.
“I’m getting out of here.”
“Oh, no. No, no, no. You’re staying right there until you get cleared by one of the medical staff.”
“Kara, I’m fine.”
Her arm shot out as he momentarily lost his balance, leaning heavily against the side of his cockpit. “You were saying?”
He grimaced at the heavy sarcasm that laced her voice. “Okay, so I’m a bit wobbly. That doesn’t mean I need to stay here to – ”
She interrupted before he could protest any further. “Lee, I pulled off your helmet – or what was left of it! No one could have that smashed a helmet and not have a concussion!”
Although he winced at her raised voice, he refused to back down. “Look, Starbuck, I’m fine! It’s not like I haven’t had a concussion before! I can make it to Life Station on my own. There’s no need to make them come down here.” He paused to take a deep breath and met her green eyes with his intent blue gaze. “The medical staff is being run ragged with all of our wounded. I don’t want to waste their time or take them away from someone worse off just to take a quick look at the Commander’s son. We’ve lost enough people today, Kara. I don’t want to add anymore,” he added softly, holding her gaze.
Saying no to Lee Adama had never been a problem for Kara Thrace in all the years she’d known him. However, there were a few times when she just couldn’t refuse him. And this was one of them. Those shadowed blue eyes met hers and remained firm despite the pain that floated in their depths. She had to agree that what he said made perfect sense. There were hundreds of wounded and not enough medical staff to see to them, much less make a “house call.”
But that didn’t mean she would let him go to Life Station on his own. Not while she was still standing.
“Alright. Fine,” she conceded, barely maintaining a stern expression as a hint of a smile crossed her best friend’s face. “But you’re not going anywhere without me. And we’re going straight to Life Station. No stops.”
“Not even to use the Head?” he asked innocently, unable to hide a smirk.
“Not a chance, mister. I fell for that once, so I’m wise to that trick. Straight there. You’re not getting out of this.” She grinned. “If you don’t like my suggestion, I’m sure the Chief here can call…” her allowed her threat to trail off as she glanced down at Tyrol, who’d wisely decided to head down the ladder and stay out of the discussion/argument. She was pleased to see the Chief smile, if only for a second.
Lee sighed in defeat. “Okay. You win. But I don’t have to like it.”
Shrugging, Kara grasped his hand tightly with hers, steadying him as he climbed slowly out of the mangled remains of his cockpit. “Like usual, Apollo, I don’t care whether you do or not.” Just don’t make me regret it, Lee, she silently added.
Part Two
Ten minutes had passed and Kara Thrace was already regretting her decision to take Lee Adama to Life Station.
Battlestar class ships were built to be self-sustaining cities in space and were, by necessity, huge. The Galactica was no exception. Because of its tremendous size, it was extremely easy for one to become lost in its endless twisting and turning corridors. Each corridor was nearly identical to the next…unless you knew the ship intimately.
Which Kara did.
Having spent the last two years on board, she knew the little intricate details that separated one corridor from the next. After becoming lost on her first day aboard, and finding herself in the awkward position of having to ask a passing crewman for help, she’d made a point to know exactly where she was at all times. She’d spent most of her free time that first month exploring the ship, and her morning jogs had helped in that regard as well as allow her the exercise she craved. She hadn’t gotten lost since.
What surprised her was that Captain Lee “Apollo” Adama already seemed to know how to get to Life Station – and he’d been on board for less than twenty-four hours.
How does he know where he’s going? she wondered, a puzzled frown flickering across her face. It must be an Adama trait, she finally decided. I’ll have to ask the Commander about it sometime. She glanced at the man by her side, feeling his step falter, and tightened her grip a bit more when he stumbled, nearly going into a wall.
The easiest route from the landing bay in the outermost part of the Galactica to Life Station tucked safely in the center of the ship involved a series of lifts and the navigation of numerous corridors. It usually took about fifteen minutes to get from one point to the other.
Usually. That is, when the ship hasn’t just survived a massive Cylon assault. Now, many of the corridors were blocked with debris – mostly wires and metal fragments – and with repair crews working quickly to get the damage cleared away. So far Kara had found only one functioning lift. Walking up to another one, she punched the button, only to have it spark, giving her a shocking jolt. She cursed loud and long at the offensive machine, rearing back to give it a good kick.
“Kara, don’t.” Lee’s tired words stopped her quicker than any harsh reprimand ever did. “Kicking it won’t make it work, you know.”
“No, but it would make me feel better,” she growled rebelliously as they turned back around and headed down a different hallway. “Those things always break down at the worst time, have you noticed that?”
His reply was quiet and subdued. “Yeah. I’ve noticed.”
A few minutes later, they’d managed to make their way to the nearest stairwell only to find it completely blocked by several metal deck plates. “Oh, come on!” she griped loudly, giving it a vicious kick and then swearing as pain surged up her leg. Despite the sharp pain, she didn’t miss Lee’s wince at her raised voice nor the fact that he had propped himself up against the corridor wall when she’d released his arm. Rolling her eyes in frustration, she and Lee once again continued their trek towards Life Station.
Lee had seemed alright when they had left the landing bay. A little unsteady to be sure, but that was to be expected after their violent crash landing. But as the minutes ticked by, she noticed that his face was losing more of its color and that his steps were slowing and no longer straight. Twice they’d been forced to stop to let him rest against the nearest wall. She was certain now that he was suffering from a concussion but she wasn’t sure of its severity.
Her friend’s abrupt stop jerked her out of her thoughts. Glancing to the side, she saw him blanch, his eyes clenching tight as he visibly wavered on his feet. Kara grabbed both of his arms and leaned him against the nearest bulkhead. Her previous concern morphed to fear when he slid down the wall and huddled on the metal floor, knees pressed to his chest, holding his head tightly in shaking hands.
“Lee?” she asked anxiously, kneeling down before him on the cold floor. “What’s wrong?”
A pain-filled moan was the only response she received, ratcheting her fear up another notch. Despite his thick flight suit, she could feel his trim body trembling, though from cold or pain, she couldn’t tell. “Lee, answer me. Where does it hurt?” she insisted, moving her right hand to his cheek.
“N- nowhere. I just got d-dizzy for a second.”
Though the words were meant to be reassuring, they failed miserably because of how weakly they were spoken. A few moments passed in tense silence, during which she searched the empty corridor for a crewman to help. “Look, you just rest here a minute. I’m going to see if I can find someone –”
“Just give me a bit, Kara. It’s already getting better.” As if to prove his point, Apollo raised his head and opened his eyes part way. He took a couple of slow, deep breaths and then made to stand up.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” she cautioned. Nevertheless, she steadied him as he climbed to his feet and then put her arm around his waist for support.
He immediately pulled away from her. “Kara, stop it,” he snapped, blue eyes flashing dangerously. “I’m fine. I don’t need your help!”
Hurt, she stepped back a couple of feet, trying to keep her flaring temper under control. Anger flowed through her veins, forcing her to literally bite her tongue to keep from snapping back at her new CAG. “I was just trying to help,” she said calmly though with an edge.
“Yeah, well, leave me alone. I can make it just fine on my own.”
She watched Lee as he continued on down the hallway for a few feet and then followed after him quietly, keeping far enough behind not to bother him. Something’s wrong, she decided. Lee feels, oh, I don’t know, ‘off’ somehow.
When Adama took his first wrong turn, she opened her mouth to correct him then hesitated. He knows where he’s going, she told herself firmly, continuing to shadow him through the ship.
After the second missed turn, her stomach started to knot nervously, a red flag sent up by her instincts that were rarely wrong. Lee’s steps grew slower, heavier, and he started to weave down the hall like a drunken sailor on a week’s leave. She edged closer, and after a few seconds of internal debate, sidled up along his left side.
He didn’t even notice her.
Okay, now I know something’s wrong. Lee’s one of the most observant people I’ve ever met. He always knows what’s going on around him – doesn’t matter if he’s flying a Viper or walking through War College’s hallways. Leaning forward, she finally got a good look at his face…
Wide, dazed eyes stared blankly out of a gray face, the ashen skin covered with a thin sheen of sweat that glistened sickly in the corridor’s lights. He looked neither left nor right, just staggered on, looking like a walking corpse. She swallowed and quickly shoved the thought out of her mind.
“Lee?” she called his name as he stumbled down the scarred hallway. She had to repeat it three more times before he acknowledged her.
“Hmm?”
Not the exact response I was looking for, but it’s better than nothing. “Umm, where are you going?”
He mumbled something – she couldn’t understand what – and kept moving. The cold fingers of fear trailed down her spine as she moved in front of him and forcibly stopped him. “Where do you think you are going?” she asked again, slower this time.
Blue eyes stared sightlessly at her, utterly expressionless. “Life Station,” he mumbled after a pause that was entirely too long.
Easy, Kara. He’s concussed. Just take it slow. Use short words so he can understand. And don’t upset him. Her mental voice snickered despite the serious situation. Yeah, right. “Life Station is the other way, Lee. You need to go back that way,” she added gesturing back the way they had just come.
“No.”
Uh oh. “No?”
“It’s down there. Always was…Didn’t move.” He blinked sluggishly, slowly looking around the corridor before finally focusing on the woman blocking his way. “Kara?” he whispered, clearly confused.
Thank the Lords, she sighed, relieved that he’d at least recognized her. She opened her mouth to reply but his next words cut her off.
“What are you doing here?” The young man rubbed the right side of his head absently, rumpling his short dark hair.
“I’m taking you to Life Station, remember?”
He frowned, growing slightly agitated. “No. Why are you here?”
What? What is he talking about? “Here?” she asked, trying to clarify the question and still keep him calm.
“Yes, here on this ship,” he replied, looking at her strangely.
“Lee, I’ve been stationed here for over two years. Where else would I be?” Shaking her head, she ran her hands through her blond hair, pushing it out of her eyes, feeling lost in the conversation.
“But…I thought you were on Galactica.” He rubbed his head again, frown deepening. “When did you transfer over? How did I miss that?” he added softly to himself.
“Transfer –!” Frak! What the heck is going on? Does he even know where he is right now? Her terror level skyrocketed even before she asked, “Lee, where are you?”
“On Atlantia. I…I –” Without warning, his eyes rolled up into his head, and he collapsed to the deck, Kara controlling his decent just enough to keep his head from taking another blow. Clutching his head, agony etched into his bloodless features, he screamed once, a loud cry filled with unspeakable pain, and began writhing on the floor.
Kara instantly cradled him in her arms to control his mindless thrashing and began screaming for help, praying that someone nearby would hear her pleas. It was only then that she noticed the blood on the floor and the red smeared onto the front of her flight suit. Suddenly, she caught a glimpse of crimson on one of Lee’s flailing hands. In a flash, she remembered how he’d been rubbing the side of his head earlier, something she’d barely noticed at the time and had thought nothing about. Moving quickly, she immobilized his head to check…and immediately saw the blood flowing out of his right ear.
Lords of Kobol, hear my prayer…She began numbly even as she screamed louder for help. Help him, Lords. Please, help him…
Part Three
“Starbuck!”
Lieutenant Kara “Starbuck” Thrace raised her head at the low, familiar voice. She’d been staring at the floor for the last…well, she didn’t really know how long she’d been at Life Station – though it felt entirely too long. Automatically rising from the chair at her superior’s approach, she couldn’t hide her wince as sore and aching muscles came to life, protesting vehemently. She hadn’t thought to call the Commander and inform him about his son but apparently someone else had.
“How is he?” Commander William Adama, Captain of the Battlestar Galactica, fixed her with an intense stare, eyes full of concern.
“I don’t know, sir,” she sighed, leaning back against the wall, suddenly too tired to remain standing straight. “They haven’t told me anything since we arrived here. That was,” a quick glance down at her watch, “four hours ago.”
The Commander’s voice was hushed as he repeated, “Four hours?”
“Yes, sir.” It didn’t look good, she knew that but at this point no news was better than hearing the worst. Kara shuddered at the thought. She’d lost her planet and her entire squadron – almost everyone she knew all in one day. Lords, please don’t take Lee, too, she pleaded silently.
They stood there in silence for a few moments lost in their own thoughts before the Commander glanced over at her and cleared his throat. “Sit down, Starbuck, before you fall down,” he ordered kindly, and she gratefully complied without comment.
“What happened, Kara?” he asked quietly, sitting down heavily beside her. “Tigh saw Lee’s name on the latest casualty list that came though CIC but it didn’t give any specifics, just that he was wounded.”
Her heart ached at the thought of him finding out about Lee in such a callous way and instantly began to apologize. “I’m sorry, Commander, I should have sent word –”
“There is nothing to apologize for, Kara,” he interrupted. “With things as they are, this is the earliest I could have gotten away regardless of when I found out about Lee.”
The comment was brutally honest. As Captain, Adama had to see to all ship-related problems and the Galactica’s welfare before he could see to his own personal matters. Even though it was his duty, she could still see how much the admission cost him. Lee is all he has left. To have to put everything else before his own son’s welfare... She was thankful not to be in his position. The so-called “burden” of command never seemed as clear to Kara as it was at that moment.
Starbuck nodded in understanding and then filled the Commander in on what had happened, from ramming Lee’s plane and bringing him onboard to the disastrous journey to Life Station and his ultimate collapse. She did well maintaining her emotions, reporting the events in a clear, detached manner, until she neared the end. Her voice faltering, she stopped for a few seconds, took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly. “I thought Lee had a concussion and that he could make it to Life Station without a problem, but then he started acting odd. He didn’t know where he was or what was going on. And then he…he just…collapsed,” she swallowed hard, hearing his piercing scream echoing in her mind, “and started seizing.” She finally shifted her gaze from the floor to meet the Commander’s eyes. “I didn’t even see the blood until I was trying to hold him still –”
She paused mid-sentence when he raised his hand, suddenly afraid that her words had been too much, that his burden had grown too heavy to hear anymore. Then she noticed that he was looking over her shoulder and turned quickly to see a doctor walking towards them.
“Commander Adama, sir, I’m Dr. Reynolds,” the middle-aged man held out his hand to shake the Commander’s. “I’ve been handling Captain Adama’s case since he arrived.” The doctor glanced over at Starbuck, clearly hesitant to speak in front of anyone without consent.
“This is Lieutenant Thrace,” Adama immediately introduced her, obviously trying to speed up the proceedings. “You are our resident neurosurgeon, if I’m not mistaken.” Although the Commander’s voice was calm, the word ‘neurosurgeon’ sent a chill through Kara’s body.
Dr. Reynolds nodded. “That’s correct, sir. When Captain Adama first arrived here, he was suffering from convulsions, shock, and was bleeding from his right ear. He had two more seizures before we could find the right level of anticonvulsants to administer but once we had him stabilized, we ran several tests that revealed the problem.” The doctor paused for a split second before going on. “Captain Adama has a skull fracture and has intracranial bleeding.”
Skull fracture? Kara repeated numbly to herself, her heart sinking low into her stomach, leaving her feeling physically sick. Three months before, one of the rookies in her squadron had made an emergency landing and had cracked his head hard when he’d touched down. He’d seemed fine for nearly a day…until he’d dropped like a rock in the middle of the bunkroom – and died an hour later in Life Station. The cause of death: skull fracture and massive internal bleeding.
It’s not enough that we stare death in the face every time we climb into a cockpit. Now we have it creeping up silently from behind hours later when we’re in the clear, she thought, her mental voice tinged with sarcasm. Sarcasm had always been her way of dealing when things got tough. Now it kept her afloat just when she felt ready to drown in her fears.
Desperate to escape her thoughts, she focused instead on the man before her. Dr. Reynolds looked utterly exhausted, his face lined and eyes bloodshot. Despite all the commotion and upheaval, however, he appeared calm and steady. And in this crisis, that’s exactly what we need most.
Dr. Reynolds cleared his throat to continue. “Once we identified the problem, we rushed Captain Adama into surgery. We were able to close the fracture and thereby prevent any additional bleeding, as well as drain the blood that had been putting pressure on the brain and causing the seizures.”
“So what does that mean?” Kara interrupted, unable to remain silent a minute longer. “Is Lee, I mean, Captain Adama, going to be alright?”
“Well,” the doctor smiled, “he’s going to have a terrible headache for the next few days and be quite sore from the seizures, but he should make a complete recovery.”
Kara grinned at the news, too drained from the day’s events to do anything more expressive. Glancing at the Commander, she saw him give a heartfelt sigh of relief and smile for the first time since the morning when she’d jogged by him in the corridor. Was that just yesterday morning? she found herself wondering in disbelief. So much has happened since then that it seems like a whole other lifetime.
“Thank you, Dr. Reynolds.” Though the words were simple, Commander Adama’s gratitude was readily apparent.
The doctor nodded and smiled gently once more. “You’re welcome, sir. My staff is getting the Captain settled in as we speak so you should be able to see him in a few minutes – although it’s doubtful that he will have come out of the anesthesia by then. I’ll send a nurse out when everything is ready. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to check in on a few other patients.” Dr. Reynolds turned to leave, hesitated a moment, and then turned back around, looking distinctly uncomfortable. “Commander, I would never presume to tell you to do anything, but I do have a request to make. After the Captain is released from this facility, I ask that you please stress the importance of seeking prompt medical attention to him. I’ll tell him myself, of course, but I’ve learned over the years that pilots – especially Viper pilots –” here he shot a quick, sharp look at Starbuck, “tend to ignore medical advise. If he had come in as soon as it had happened –”
Starbuck couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Hey, wait a minute! We got here as soon as we could,” she said angrily. “We would have been here in fifteen minutes, but we had a hell of a time making it with all the damage the ship has taken. I know forty-five minutes is a long time –”
“Forty-five minutes? I’m not talking about minutes here, Lieutenant. I’m talking hours – nine or ten at the very least.”
“What?”
“Captain Adama’s skull has been leaking blood for at least nine hours judging by the amount of blood we found and the size of the fracture.”
Kara shook her head in confusion. “But he just hit his head when we landed…less than an hour before he arrived here.”
“Then the injury had to have occurred before. Your landing didn’t cause the fracture – something else did.”
The Commander finally spoke up after listening silently to the rapid exchange of words. “Doctor, my son just came back aboard ship a short time before the latest attack. I have no knowledge of what happened during the time before that could have caused such an injury.”
“Unfortunately, I do.” A woman’s voice spoke up directly behind them.
Twisting around, Starbuck came face to face with a woman she’d never seen before, a rarity even onboard a ship as large as the Galactica. Professionally dressed, the woman exuded an air of confidence and determination that Kara immediately noticed as she walked straight towards Commander Adama without the slightest bit of hesitation. A young man with dark curly hair trailed a few steps behind her, clearly an aide of some kind. Glancing over at her commanding officer, it was obvious he knew who the woman was. It was also obvious that he was not thrilled to see her.
“Commander Adama,” the woman nodded in greeting.
“Madame President,” the Commander replied.
Madame President?! What the frak – ? Completely stunned, the Lieutenant could only stare in shock at the person before her who now held the highest office in all the colonies.
The woman smiled sadly, “I’m sorry to disturb you, Commander. Colonel Tigh was reluctant to inform me of your whereabouts, but I insisted and he finally directed me here. I didn’t realize that you were here on personal matters. If you don’t mind me asking, how is Captain Apollo?”
“He has a skull fracture and intracranial bleeding but he’s going to be fine.” Adama summarized his son’s injuries quickly. “Madame President, what did you mean earlier? Do you know what happened to my son?”
“Yes, I believe I do,” the President spoke softly, her brown eyes dark with concern. “Did Captain Apollo tell you how he managed to save our ship?” At the Commander’s answering nod, she continued. “The electromagnetic pulse knocked out everything on the ship, electronics and passengers alike. When the ship’s Captain and I regained consciousness and realized that Apollo must have done something to stop the attack, we immediately went down below to check on him. When we arrived, Captain Apollo was lying on the floor a few feet away from the pulse generators he had been manipulating. He was just waking up – I can only imagine how much more powerful the pulse was that close – and seemed disoriented. His speech was slurred, and he stammered several times while explaining what he had done, but other than his balance being off, he appeared to be fine. I assumed that his symptoms were caused by his proximity to the pulse.” She paused briefly, her expression pained, as she met and held the Commander’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Commander Adama. I was wrong. If I had known the Captain was injured, I would have done everything in my power to help him.”
Adama held the President’s gaze for a moment, searching her eyes for something. Honesty? Integrity? Starbuck didn’t know for certain, but she knew that he eventually found what he was looking for and seemed satisfied. “Ms. Roslin, I appreciate your honesty in this situation. I want you to know that I don’t hold you responsible. What happened to Lee was an accident, something that happened beyond our control.”
Kara clenched her teeth at the word ‘accident,’ her stomach twisting at the memories it evoked. An ‘accident’ – that’s what Zak’s death had been called. And now one had nearly taken Lee. How many more pilots are we going to lose from ‘accidents?’ she wondered. There are so few of us left.
The doctor standing next to Kara shifted a bit, breaking the silence that had fallen over the small group. “Madame President, my name is Dr. Reynolds. I’ve been handling Captain Adama’s case.” The President shook the man’s hand. “From what you’ve said, I’m certain the Captain’s skull fracture was caused by the force of his landing, not from the electromagnetic pulse itself. And, if you’ll excuse me for saying so, you couldn’t have done anything for him even if you had known about his injury unless you could have found a neurosurgeon to operate – which is highly unlikely.” Dr. Reynolds turned to the Galactica’s Captain and smiled. “Now, I’m going to check on Captain Adama and see if the nurses have him settled in. I’ll send a nurse out for you as soon as he’s ready.” With that, the doctor walked back down the hall and disappeared through one of the doors.
For the second time that day, Kara found herself not knowing what to say or do. (The first time had been when she’d been lying under her Viper and had heard Lee Adama’s familiar voice – when he was supposedly dead.) It was obvious to Kara that President Roslin had come onboard the Galactica to speak with the Commander, just as it was equally obvious that the Commander was reluctant to leave without seeing for himself that his son was alright. If it had been only the Commander and herself present, she would have felt comfortable suggesting something to him. But the new President was an unknown. So far, she seemed like an honest and responsible person, but…Kara was still hesitant.
“Commander Adama,” the President quietly broke the silence. “I know that this is a bad time, and I apologize for intruding upon you. I know you must be very worried about your son. We can meet another time. When you see Captain Apollo, please pass along my wishes for a quick recovery.” She turned to leave.
“Madame President,” the Commander stopped her before she could move away. “The matter must be important for you to leave Colonial One and board the Galactica so soon after the jump.”
“It is, Commander.”
Nodding, he looked over at Kara who was leaning back against the wall with her arms crossed, watching the conversation between the two most important people in the fleet. “Starbuck, tell Lee that I’ll be by to see him as soon as the President and I are finished meeting.”
“Yes, sir.” Kara could tell that the Commander didn’t want to leave, but once again, duty had to come first. She understood, and she would make sure than Lee did as well. “Commander, depending on how long your meeting is, you might still make it back before Lee wakes up.” It wasn’t much comfort, but it was the best Starbuck could do at the time.
The older man seemed to understand what she was trying to do and a careworn smile creased his lined face. “Thank you,” he said softly.
“I appreciate your willingness to stay here, Lieutenant…?” President Roslin’s voice trailed off as she met Kara’s eyes for the first time, flickering briefly up and down her uniform.
“Lieutenant Thrace, ma’am. And I was going to stay here with Lee anyway,” she replied, automatically straightening up, wincing slightly as she moved several sore muscles in her shoulders and back.
“Are you alright?”
“Excuse me?” The question came out of nowhere, leaving Kara at a loss as to what exactly the other woman was talking about.
“Your uniform has blood all over it, Lieutenant.” the President clarified. “Are you wounded?”
“Oh.” Kara looked down at her uniform, noticing the dried bloodstains that covered her torso and arms for the first time. She hadn’t realized before how bad it looked and couldn’t help glancing apologetically at the Commander. It was his son’s blood, after all, and even though he hadn’t mentioned it, it had to have disturbed him. “It’s not my blood, ma’am. I’m fine,” she replied shortly, swallowing uncomfortably. Blood usually didn’t faze her. Well, I guess it depends on whose blood it is and how it got there. I’m glad somebody thought to mention it before I showed up at Lee’s side with his blood all over me. Now that would be a frakking way to wake up.
“I’m glad to hear that.” President Roslin looked over at the Commander. “Well, I supposed we’d best be going. Billy,” she turned towards the young man still standing silently slightly behind her and to her right. “What were the exact numbers again that we were discussing on the shuttle?” The President and the Commander moved off towards the Commander’s quarters, followed closely by the President’s aide.
“And once again, all I can do is wait,” Kara muttered to herself, plopping down in the chair with a heavy thud, and peered down at her flight suit. “Well, at least I can do something about that without leaving.” Unzipping her flight suit halfway, she pulled her arms out and rolled the close-fitting suit down, tying it around her waist with a sigh. That done, she stretched her legs out in front of her, closed her eyes, and waited for the nurse to take her to Lee.
Part Four
Nearly ten hours had passed since the final assault on the Galactica, but the fight for survival had not stopped, only passed from the outside of the ship to the inside. Trauma teams had been set up, along with triage, to handle the massive amount of casualties. Almost all of the wounded were from the ship’s internal personnel: members of the gun crews, deck crews, and specialists from various departments. So far, there had been only one pilot admitted. Only one out of over three hundred wounded. The odds of a pilot surviving a direct shot from a Cylon ship were long, but being able to land that same damaged aircraft successfully afterwards made the odds even worse.
The frantic pace of Life Station had finally slowed down, and an uneasy silence had fallen over the ward. Kara Thrace straightened up in the uncomfortable chair, her back popping loudly in the unnatural quiet of the long room, glancing over at the pale face of her friend, Lee Adama. The young Captain was growing restless, hands twitching on the white sheets, eyes moving rapidly under closed lids. This time will be different, she reassured herself firmly, scooting her chair even closer to the bed. He’ll be ready.
The next few minutes seemed to last forever as she waited for Lee to regain consciousness, but at last her forced patience was rewarded when he opened his eyes with a faint, painful groan.
“Kara?” he whispered, blinking up at her, a dazed expression flickering across his face.
“Hey.” Just the simple act of looking into his open eyes made her smile widely with relief. There’d been several times in the last ten hours when she’d wondered if she’d ever see those familiar blues again. “How’re you doing?”
He shifted his head to the side to see her better and then moaned, “Don’t ask,” as his face contorted in pain from the small movement. Kara grabbed his hand in silent support, and he squeezed it tightly as he worked through the pain. “Kara?” he asked quietly, voice slightly breathless from the pain, eyes remaining closed. “I feel…strange.”
She couldn’t stop the snicker that bubbled out, though she did manage to muffle it somewhat. “Yeah, I bet you do. The doctor’s got you on some pretty strong meds right now,” she added softly.
“For what?”
He sounded so lost and confused that she hesitated briefly, running her free hand through her short blond hair in an unconscious gesture of unease. Glancing around the large room, she searched in vain for the Commander or even one of the medical staff, hoping that someone else could tell him what had happened. Oh, grow up, Kara, she ordered silently. There’s no one else here – you’ll have to tell him yourself. Besides, with all the tension between Lee and the Commander, it’s probably best that you’re here and not him. So…what do I say? She thought rapidly. Well, knowing Lee, he’d want me to get right to the point and not screw around, she finally decided. All right. Here goes. “You have a skull fracture, Lee. You almost died.”
His breathing stopped for a split second as the blunt words sank into his pain-fogged mind, but other than that, his only reaction was to tighten his grip on her hand. To be honest, though, she wasn’t surprised. Lee had never been one to show his emotions in public, a personality trait that she’d found difficult to understand until she’d gotten to know him better. As she’d grown closer to Lee and met his family, she’d realized that it was a trait that all of the Adama men shared – even Zak, although his was to a lesser extent than the other two, something she attributed to his mother’s gentle influence. Lee was the epitome of the old saying “cool under fire,” whether he was debating a subject at the Academy or facing the Cylons in a crippled Viper. And while it was a tremendous help during battle as she’d seen just a few hours earlier, it also led others to the mistaken belief that Lee Adama was cold and unfeeling. He was anything but unfeeling, however – far from it. He just kept his feelings to himself.
“What happened?” The words, despite being spoken softly, came out of nowhere and startled her from her thoughts.
Kara paused, recalling how Dr. Reynolds had mentioned the possibility of short term memory loss, that Lee might not remember what had happened immediately before his collapse. “Do you remember our crash landing?” She wanted to see how far back he could remember before she explained anything.
“How could I forget?”
Even seriously wounded, he still managed to sound sarcastic. Lords, I love that about him. Shaking her head, she continued with a small smile. “You were banged up pretty badly, but you insisted – against my advice, by the way – on going to Life Station by yourself. Only…we never made it.” She stopped and dropped her gaze to the white sheets of the infirmary bed, her smile disappearing as a vision of Lee convulsing on the floor flashed through her mind.
Lee opened his eyes slowly when she didn’t go on, squinting slightly as the bright lights of Life Station increased the pounding in his head. As his eyes reluctantly adjusted, he looked around the large room as far as he could without moving his head. “Then how did we get here? This is Life Station, right?” Closing his eyes once more with a groan, he declared, “No matter where you go, Life Station always looks the same.”
His comment coaxed a tiny smile out of her, especially since she had, in fact, been thinking along those same lines just in the last few hours and couldn’t agree more. “I wouldn’t have thought that the Great ‘Captain Apollo’ would have spent enough time in Life Station to know,” she said wryly, her smile turning into a full blown, teasing grin.
“Listen, I’ve put in more than my share,” he countered, “and some of that, I might add, was because of you.”
“And if you’d gone straight to Life Station to get checked out like I wanted you to, you’d only have been there a couple hours tops. Instead, you snuck off and led me on a merry chase all over War College for five hours. Now, how long were you stuck there that time? Three days, wasn’t it?” Her spirits rose, elated at being able to spar with him after such a long time. She’d missed Lee the last two years, but it wasn’t until that moment that she realized how much. Simple things – his teasing words, his mischievous grin, his twinkling eyes – they all came back to her in a rush. For just a moment, she was able to forget the horror of the last day and a half.
Lee appeared distinctly uncomfortable, but it wasn’t solely from his wounds. “You should know, Starbuck. You stayed with me the whole time I was there. So,” he opened his eyes and met her gaze, his expression suddenly serious. “How long have you been waiting this time?”
Her grin vanished. “Ten hours.” Seeing his stunned look, she explained as simply as she could. “They rushed you into surgery as soon as you got here. I wasn’t allowed in for over four hours, but I’ve been here ever since.” There was more to the story – much more, really – but she was reluctant to go into it.
She should have known better.
Narrowing his gaze, Lee eyed her suspiciously. “And I just now woke up?”
Keeping a neutral expression, she nodded. What does he want me to say? That he woke up five hours ago, screaming so loudly from the pain that the doctor was forced to sedate him? Or how helpless I felt when the medical staff shoved me aside to get to him?
There had been no warning. One moment, he’d been sleeping quietly, and the next, he’d rolled onto his side, clutching his head, and started screaming. The staff had swarmed his bed, pushing her roughly aside as they battled to hold him still until the sedative could take affect. The incident had left her shaken and scared. She was so thankful that the Commander had not been there to witness it, having arrived from his meeting with the President only a few minutes later. It was hard enough for him to leave two hours ago. If he’d seen that, I doubt he would've left at all. “The doctor thought it best that you were sedated a little while longer,” she finally admitted, compromising by telling only part of the truth and trying to ignore her cringing insides. She’d always been honest with Lee, just as he had been with her, and hiding something this important from him hurt, even if it was for the best. You only keptbackwhat really mattered, a small voice whispered in her mind. Setting her jaw stubbornly, she pushed aside the agonizing, traitorous thought. Lee was all that mattered right now. She could feel guilty about Zak later.
Looking into Lee’s ashen face, she could see that he remained unconvinced by her answer but apparently decided not to push any further – a decision she was immensely grateful for. Kara nervously cleared her throat. “Well, you’ll be happy to know that you’re expected to make a full recovery. Dr. Reynolds was able to close the fracture and drain the excess blood.”
“Ahhh, so that’s why my head feels like it had a spike shoved through it.”
“Yeah.”
Silence settled over their small corner of the ward, and as the minutes passed, Kara found herself wondering why Lee hadn’t asked her for more specifics about his condition. He didn’t even ask how he got the fracture, she mused, glancing over at the young man lying silently in the bed. That’s weird. He always wants to know what’s going on, all the details of what happened. Then she froze. The only reason Lee wouldn’t ask…was if he already knew.
Fury coursed through her veins, and for a split second, she literally saw red. Her long fingers unconsciously curled into fists, and she just barely managed to restrain herself from punching him. She shook her head, and through clenched teeth, she hissed, “You bastard.”
Lee’s eyes fluttered open as he was abruptly startled out of a light doze. “What?”
“You knew, didn’t you?”
“Knew what?” He looked even more confused.
“You stupid, selfish, son of a –” she broke off mid-curse and jumped to her feet, unable to sit still any longer. “You knew something was wrong all along, didn’t you? Didn’t you!” Her raised voice drew an irritated look from a nearby nurse but she couldn’t have cared less.
Wincing at the pain her shouted words brought about, he tried to interrupt her angry rant. “Kara, I –”
“What? You what, Lee?” Adrenaline pumping, she paced around his bed, looking like a lion sizing up its prey, ready to pounce at any moment. “Do you know how close you came to dying? You started having seizures, Lee. You waited so long that so much frakking blood was pressing against your brain that the pressure nearly killed you! Do you know what that would have done to your father? To me?” Ignoring the sudden burning in her eyes, she leaned over his bed and lowered her voice until it was a little louder than a whisper. “We just got you back. We couldn’t stand to lose you again.” Anger burnt out like a supernova, she felt completely drained, her slender body shaking from the massive flood of energy. Stepping back, she turned to leave Life Station, wanting nothing more than to get knockdown drunk and forget that any of this mess ever happened.
“Kara, wait.”
She paused four steps from the bed but refused to turn around to face him, struggling to maintain her fragile composure.
“You’re right.” He spoke in a voice soft but firm. “I did know something was wrong. And I was pretty sure that it was serious.” He paused for a moment. “But I don’t regret what I did.”
Whirling around, she stared at him in sheer disbelief. “How can you say that?”
“You have no idea what things were like out there, Kara.” His penetrating gaze bore into hers, sending a chill up her spine at its intensity. “From the moment I got up off the cargo hold floor, I was busy helping the President with the rescue operation – coordinating the growing fleet of ships, assessing their condition, just…keeping things moving. There wasn’t enough time, Kara. Every second counted and even though we tried our best, there just wasn’t enough time.” The last few words were spoken with such immense sadness that Kara moved over to his side and sat down in the chair she’d vacated only minutes before. Lee stared sightlessly at the wall behind her and, for a few seconds, appeared haunted. She wondered what could possibly have happened to him to cause such a heartbroken look. Coming back from wherever he’d been, Lee focused on her once again. “Even if I had said something, there was nothing anyone could have done. There wasn’t even a doctor onboard Colonial One.”
Kara could understand his reasoning so far. She didn’t like it…but she could understand it. Still… “What about when you came back aboard Galactica? You could have said something then.”
“Honestly? By the time I got back, I’d convinced myself that it was just a headache…maybe, just maybe, a concussion.” He shrugged slightly, careful to keep his head still. “I guess I’d gotten used to the pain after so many hours. And then things moved so fast that I didn’t have time to think about it.” Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, sighed, and then looked over at her, his face white with exhaustion. Continuing on, his voice was noticeably weaker. “I don’t know what you want to hear, Kara. I’m sorry for what I put you through…but I don’t regret what I did. There was nothing else I could have done under those circumstances. If you want to stay angry at me, then that’s your right. But before you leave, I want you to think about what I’ve told you and ask yourself if you wouldn’t have handled it the same way.”
Now that her initial, overwhelming rush of anger had diminished, she was able to think clearly, and much to her frustration, she found herself agreeing with him. “You’re right,” she admitted reluctantly after several minutes of thought. “You handled it the only way you could.”
Lee smiled faintly, then held out a trembling hand. “Truce?” he offered softly.
“Truce,” she nodded, taking his hand and grasping it carefully, and then settled their joined hands on the side of his bed.
“Kara?”
“Yeah?”
“How did you know about what happened on Colonial One?”
“The President dropped by,” she said simply, watching with amusement at his mortified look. He looked so pitiful that she had to add, “Actually, she stopped by to see the Commander on another matter and badgered Tigh into telling her that he was here.”
“My father was here?” he interrupted, his expression doubtful.
“Of course, he was,” she replied, exasperated by his visible disbelief. “Twice, in fact. He didn’t want to leave, especially that first time but, well, you know how it is, Lee.”
“‘An officer’s first responsibility is to his ship,’” he quoted, resigned but not angry. “Yeah, I know, Kara.”
“Anyway, she told us what’d happened, how you’d been thrown back by the pulse and knocked unconscious.” She hesitated a bit. “She feels responsible for what happened.”
“It wasn’t her fault,” he protested quickly.
“I know that and so does the Commander. He’s already reassured her that she’s not to blame.”
“Good.”
“But that doesn’t mean that you’re going to get off so easily.” She couldn’t resist teasing him. “Your father’s still going to give you hell for what you did.”
“I thought you already were,” he moaned, wincing at the thought of facing his father flat on his back with an excruciating headache.
“You wish,” she grinned, laughing quietly at his miserable expression, but then took pity on him. “Don’t worry, Lee. You still have a few days. I heard the doctor tell your father to wait until you were released to your own quarters before he brings it up. Probably doesn’t want an angry Viper pilot trapped in Life Station if he can help it. You know what terrible patients Viper pilots are,”she said, awink following her last words. She was pleased to see another faint smile cross his face. “You want my advice?”
“No.”
“Well, too bad, you’re getting it anyway,” she retorted, shaking her head. “Get lots of rest, listen to what the Doc says…and tell your father exactly what you just told me.”
Part Five
“So, Apollo’s getting released today, right? Kara?”
The sound of her name jerked Lieutenant Kara “Starbuck” Thrace out of her reverie, and as she glanced up at Boomer, she realized that she’d completely missed everything her friend had said. Actually, she’d been so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she hadn’t even known she was talking at all. “Sorry, Sharon,” she apologized, blinking. “What were you saying?”
Lieutenant Sharon “Boomer” Valerii smiled sympathetically. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. You looked like you were a million miles away.” She paused, her dark eyes glinting mischievously. “Or was your mind, oh, four decks up in Life Station with a certain Captain?” she asked impishly, smoothing her long black hair into a neat ponytail. Ignoring the mock glare cast her way, she repeated her previous question, “Apollo’s getting out today, right?” and received a nod in return.
“And not a moment too soon,” Kara added, smiling at the thought. “He’s been going stir crazy ever since he woke up three days ago. It’s a good thing the doctor’s releasing him because I don’t think the medical staff can take much more. Do you know he actually ordered me to bring him his clothes yesterday so he could sneak out early?” she asked indignantly.
Boomer paused in the middle of pulling on her flight suit. “What did you do?”
“Well,” she drawled with a smirk, “he is the CAG.”
“Kara!” The young Raptor pilot’s jaw dropped wide open. “You didn’t!”
“Oh, you bet I did,” she replied. “I decided to humor him so I brought him some clothes – a pair of socks and some underwear.” Boomer burst out laughing, collapsing back onto her bunk next to Kara’s. Starbuck only managed to hold out a few seconds longer before laughing herself. A couple minutes later, she gasped, “Well, at least I didn’t disobey a direct order,” which caused another round of laughter. Gods, I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this, Kara wondered.
“What’d he say?” Boomer asked, wiping away tears of laughter from her eyes and holding her aching stomach as she got back on her feet and resumed getting ready.
Kara grinned, rolling over on her bunk to lie on her stomach. “Oh, that’s the best part. Commander Adama showed up right after I pulled them out of my bag. You should have seen Apollo trying to explain why he was holding a pair of socks and underwear in his lap. I’ve never seen anyone look so flustered!”
It had taken every ounce of control Kara possessed not to have laughed aloud when the Commander had shown up. Lee had been well and truly stuck. He wasn’t about to tell his father the truth – that he’d ordered her to bring his clothes and that he was trying to escape. Kara had excused herself a moment later and had practically bolted from the room to keep from laughing. That couldn’t have worked out better had I planned it, she mused. The wide-eyed, stunned look on his face had been priceless.
Still laughing, Boomer leaned over and pulled on her second boot. “So, what time is he being released?”
“1200.”
“1200,” she frowned, “but…that was over an hour ago. Why hasn’t he come in yet? He is bunking in here, right?”
“Yeah, at least he was planning on it earlier.” The CAG’s quarters had been taken over as a temporary storage area for the deceased’s property, but Kara seriously doubted that Lee would ever move in even after all of the stuff had been sorted and cleared out. That would be like someone digging up a graveyard and then building a house over it, she shuddered and then quickly moved on. “Apollo’s meeting with the Commander in the CO’s quarters. They have a few things to discuss, and besides, Lee never had time to give an official report of what happened on Colonial One,” Kara rested her chin on her crossed arms, absently watching Boomer finish getting suited up. “The Commander still has a few questions he wants answered.” And a few things he wants to say, she mentally added.
“Well,” the young woman closed her locker with a bang, “I’m on duty in a few minutes, so I’d better get moving.” She headed for the hatch but stopped a few feet from it, glancing back at Kara. “They’re dismissing most of us about 1630 so we’ll have time to change into dress uniforms before the ceremony.” Boomer spoke quietly, sadness darkening her exotic features.
Starbuck nodded silently, and Boomer slipped out, trying her best to hide the tears that threatened to fall. Kara didn’t blame her. Nearly everyone had shed tears since the Cylons attacked, some in private, some in public. That first day, it’d been impossible to walk the corridors of Galactica without seeing someone in tears. During the last couple of days, though, things had gotten better. Either people have begun to accept what happened, or they’ve just run out of tears. Personally, she suspected the latter. Yes, the past few days had been rough…but today was going to be the toughest of all.
A mass funeral was scheduled at 1700 in the Starboard Landing Pod to commemorate not only all of Galactica’s dead, but also all of those lost on the Twelve Colonies. One short, simple ceremony for the death of billions. A small part of her couldn’t help but think it unfair. Still, as much as she wished that something more could be done, she understood that it could not be done now – not when the Fleet was busy licking its own wounds and struggling to stay alive. And to make matters worse, it was to be a military funeral which meant no tears and no emotional displays. I guess it’s for the best, she thought, swallowing hard. If we take the time now to mourn the dead, we’d fall apart, and Lords know how long, if ever, it’d take to get back together.
Hearing the hatch open, she glanced up, thinking Boomer had returned for something she’d accidentally left behind. Instead, she was surprised to see Captain Lee Adama step into the room. Kara didn’t even wait for the hatch to close all the way before she asked, “So, how’d it go?” and sat up.
The young Captain’s gaze flickered once around the room, searching in every bunk to make sure no one else was there to listen in on what he was about to say. Once he was certain they were alone, he slowly made his way over to her bunk. “Well,” he replied with a heavy sigh, “He didn’t cuss me out like you did.” Moving cautiously, he eased himself down next to her, resting his elbows on his knees. “Actually, it didn’t go as badly as I thought it would.”
Starbuck perked up at his last comment. “Really? What happened?”
“He wasn’t too pleased with me when I admitted that I knew something was wrong, but he did allow me to finish my report without interrupting. Then he just sat there, staring at me without saying a word.” He sighed again, rubbing his face with both hands, and then looked over at her with a half smile. “You know, I think the silence is worse than a reprimand? It’s the expectation – the waiting – that makes it so hard.”
“I know what you mean.” She’d lost count of how many times she’d been in that same position, nervously waiting for a superior officer to pronounce judgment. “How’d he take it?”
“Surprising well,” he shrugged, returning his gaze to the floor. “He said that he could understand my reasons, and that my actions were appropriate under the circumstances – at least onboard Colonial One. Then he proceeded to lecture me for twenty minutes on my duties as a superior officer, that it was my responsibility to see to the welfare of those under my command, myself included.” Lee carefully straightened up from his slumped position and turned to face her. “And as a final note, he informed me that if I ever pull anything like that aboard Galactica, he’d personally bust me back to Lieutenant and let you take over the squadron. You don’t know how tempted I was to tell him to go ahead and do it.”
“Don’t you dare!” she threatened, nudging him with her shoulder. “I already told you I don’t want that kind of responsibility. I’m not a big enough dipstick for the job, remember?” Starbuck hoped the teasing reminder from earlier would coax a smile out of him like it had a few days before.
It worked, much to her relief.
Over the past few days, she’d noticed that Lee’d been unusually quiet and seemed absolutely drained. Kara hadn’t been too concerned about it before, assuming that it was from the constant headaches that still plagued him and the pain medication he was taking. Now she wasn’t so sure. Studying him silently out of the corner of her eye, she took in the dark circles under his eyes and the new lines etched into his handsome features. Even after two days resting in Life Station, he still looked exhausted. Nightmares. Her heart sank. He’s having nightmares. That’s got to be why heseems so tired. How the frak did I miss that? she thought, furious at herself for missing the fact that her best friend was suffering and she hadn’t even noticed. Everyone else was battling nightmares – why should he be any different? “How are you doing, Lee?”
“What do you mean?” His response was automatic, followed by a sharp, searching glance.
“What do you think I mean?” He was always good at deflecting questions. If he doesn’t want to answer, he either asks a question of his own or closes up and refuses to talk at all. “Okay,” she drew the word out, “Let’s try this again. How are you feeling?” As much as she wanted to know the answer, her main reason for asking was simply to keep him talking. If he shuts me out now, I’ll never find out what’s wrong.
“I’m fine, Kara. The headaches are almost gone.” He twisted around and stretched his legs out on her mattress, effectively ending the discussion. Resting his head back against the wall, he watched her closely, his face suddenly devoid of emotion.
Frak! she cursed silently, recognizing the all too familiar expression for what it was – a mask carefully constructed (and often used) to keep whatever he was thinking secret. He’d always use it when he met with his father in those years before Zak died. After that, he showed only fury and contempt. Not that that was much better, she readily amended, but at least then he was showing what he truly felt, not hiding it. Swallowing, she came to an abrupt decision. Oh, well. Might as well say what I think. Taking a deep, steadying breath, she strove to keep her voice casual. “You look tired.”
He shrugged one shoulder. “Yeah, well…Life Station isn’t real conducive to sleeping.”
Kara knew from personal experience thatwas true. Stomach cringing, her mind flashed back to what she’d seen and heard those first few hours she’d spent in Life Station waiting for Lee to wake up. The horrifying sight of her fellow crewmembers, bloody and burned, haunted her nightmares, and she still heard their screams of pain in the quiet hours of the night. She had to concentrate hard to keep her lunch from making a reappearance even now. Still, she couldn’t help but feel his reason was also a convenient excuse. Something else is wrong, I know it. Much to her frustration, there was no way for her to find out what was wrong unless Lee came right out and told her himself. Right. That’s about as likely to happen as the Cylons giving us back the 12 Colonies and then committing mass suicide. Still…It never hurts to ask. “You wanna talk about it?”
His eyes dropped as he shook his head. “No.” The word was so soft that she nearly missed it.
“Alright,” she agreed, noting the look of relief that flickered briefly across his pale face before he regained control. “Look. We still have a few hours to kill,” she winced slightly at the word, “before the ceremony. Why don’t you grab a bunk and get some rest?” Seeing his mouth open to protest, she ruthlessly added, “It’s plenty quiet in here, so you shouldn’t have any trouble sleeping,” knowing that his stubborn pride would do anything to keep from admitting that he was having nightmares.
The young man shifted uneasily on the bunk, his blue eyes dark in the dim light.
Seeing his hesitation, she urged, “Come on, Lee. You need the rest.”
It took a few seconds more but he finally nodded and climbed to his feet. Once there he glanced around uncertainly at all the empty bunks and spoke in a subdued voice, “So, which bunk should I take?”
Kara cleared her throat, unable to meet his sympathetic gaze, though she could still feel it rest upon her. “Take your pick,” she said shortly. “Boomer’s is the bottom one to the left of mine.” All the rest were empty, the pilots – her entire squadron – gone, never to return. She shoved aside the thought before it could fully penetrate. Now wasn’t the time to mourn the dead. She had other things to worry about – like her best friend.
Lee settled down on the bottom bunk directly opposite her, unknowingly choosing the only bunk that offered her an unobstructed view. Wordlessly pulling off his boots and stripping out of his flight suit, he curled up on his side with his back to Kara. She stared at his motionless form for a long time, unable to tell if he was asleep, though she doubted he was. After a while, she shrugged and lay down herself, making sure to stay on her side so she could keep an eye on Lee. Kara knew he was having problems sleeping – who wouldn’t after all we’ve been through? – but he didn’t have to go through it alone, not while she was around. If and when he chose to confide in her, she’d be ready. In the meantime, she planned on staying close by, for his sake…and for hers.
THE END
End Note: Thank you all for staying with me to the very end! I’ve appreciated all of your thoughts and comments over the last month and hope that you’ve enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I decided to end this now before it grew into a monster that I wouldn’t be able to finish. I have an idea for a sequel of sorts, this time from Lee’s POV, and how he’s dealing with everything that’s happened. Let me know if you’d be interested in reading something like that. Thanks - Adalanta