Word Count: 4,924
Date:05/20/05
Series: One
Rating: M
Category: Relationships
Pairing/Focus: Lee, Kara
Warnings: angst/romance
Summary: Kara and Lee are doing their best to
forget each other
Spoilers/Disclaimers: I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does
Kara doesn't think she can live like this anymore. She has lost her best friend and it's slowly killing her inside. Helo is probably the only one offering her real friendship at the moment, but his mind is on Sharon and hers is on Lee and emotional was never their thing. Teasing and flirting was their usual S.O.P. and she doesn't want the physical comfort she knows they would give each other just because of loneliness. She doesn't want to use a friend or to be used by one.
Lee has completely stopped talking to her. She is lieutenant at briefings, Starbuck on patrol and ignored everywhere else. She's not sure if it still has something to do with Baltar or her agreement to his being just the CAG and her just a pilot or that she jumped to Caprica without telling him. Maybe he blames her for his father being shot, but if the old man can forgive her why can't Lee? Her sins were lengthy indeed. Her quest for self loathing was reaching new heights. Her compulsive need and desire for Lee was sapping her inner strength. It kills her that they aren't friends anymore. Enough! She absolutely has to purge Lee from her mind and heart. No more fantasising about him no more dreaming. Maybe she should try another guy. She can't push Lee any further away so she has nothing to lose this time. Baltar was out of the question, apart from making her skin crawl, she seriously doubted he would want her after the whole "Lee" moaning episode. Who else, who else? Ah Jason. Jason the marine who she knows is hot for her especially after the few times he's guarded her in hack. Where to go? She could just frak him in a storage room somewhere but truthfully she doesn't want to get that physical yet. She just needs some attention and to know that at least someone wants her. Ah the observation lounge where all the lovers go to make out and stare at the universe, maybe catch a viper fly by. Good call Thrace, that'll do nicely. By the end of the day her invitation to Jason was issued and of course accepted. He tries to charm her a bit with a rather nice kiss and a suggestive grope of her bottom, which doesn't do much for her. Thems the breaks unless it was Lee she doubted any man could make her feel something. But this wasn't about making her feel something it was about making her forget someone and she was going to have to put in the effort. It's called self preservation. It's about 10pm, the last shift of people for the lounge and she's at the back of the line with Jason. She's smiling at him encouragingly and he tries the kissing thing a couple more times - not bad she's starting to warm a little towards him. Being last in line means having only one option left for a seat so Jason pulls her along to where he spots it and laughing quietly sits down and pulls her onto his lap, puts a hand on her thigh another in her hair and draws her down for a hot and sexy kiss. Kara's beginning to think that maybe the storage room would have been the choice to make after all. Suddenly a wave of ice washes over her body. She looks up and sees across from her Lee frakking Adama boring a hole through her head with his frakking blue eyes. He has his arm draped across some auburn haired beauty who's nibbling on his ear.Kara doesn't think she's ever felt panic like this before. She feels ill and her need to get away is overwhelming. Yet she can't break her gaze away from Lee. The woman he is with cups his face and turns him to her for a kiss. Kara can't look away. Lee doesn't close his eyes and barely responds to her gentle insisting. Lee turns his head straight back to keep staring at Kara and she notices his free hand is in a tight fist. She didn't think her and Lee's situation could get any worse, now she knows better. Her stab of jealousy at seeing him with someone is acute and catches her off guard. She has to get out now! Jason had been amusing himself with kissing her neck. She tore her gaze away from Lee looked at Jason, then leaned in to whisper in his ear a suggestion about a storage room. His grin was wide and slightly sleazy. Then in a flash he was pulling her out in search of the first storage room he could find. Kara was welcoming the oblivion she knew the sex would give her but her soul was dying a little more.
Lee was going to give himself a stroke. All pretence of being interested in the woman next to him vanished, all he could think was Kara! He thinks he may actually hate her, except for the fact that he wants to frak her every time he sees her and discovered since her jump to Caprica that he can't live without her. But he's damn well going to try. He ends the date with what-ever-her-name-is by making her come with his fingers in a dark corridor. She wants to return the favour but he can't bring himself to let her. He had every intention but seeing Kara had thrown him off. It was really late and he needed a shower to get this woman's stinking perfume off him. He grabs his clothes quietly, trying not to wake the sleeping pilots and notices with a twist of nausea that "her" bed was empty. He tried to take a cleansing breath then headed for the showers. As he opened the hatch he heard a shower turn off and out stepped a very naked Kara Thrace. She hadn't noticed him obviously and Lee couldn't look away from the profile of her body. It seems like the gods had compiled every fantasy about how Lee thought a woman should look and packaged them in the form of Kara. Then he took in some details. There was fingerprint bruising on her hip and upper arm and a purpling bite mark on the breast he could see and her lips were swollen and she was frakking trembling. "I'm going to frakking kill him!" She turned completely startled and drew her towel up to cover herself. "Did he hurt you?" Lee could hear the barely contained rage in his own voice. "I can take care of myself Lee." There was none of the usual life and passion in her voice, she sounded empty. "Stop selling yourself short Kara" and with that he left in search of one very unlucky marine.
The next morning the rumour mill was in full tilt. Apparently a marine was in sickbay and the CAG was in hack. Kara swore under her breath. The realisation that he had reacted this way for her stopped her short. Maybe he doesn't hate her as much as she thought. Lee has to spend two days in hack giving Kara plenty of time to work up the courage to talk to him. She organises it so she is the one who gets to release him. She tells the guard to take a hike and steps out in front of Lee's cell. He looks up, scowls at her. "Get the frak out of here Thrace"
"Drop dead Adama."
And that was that.
A week later a highly unorthodox game of cards was taking place with a large group of very drunk and flirty pilots. All men had a woman on their lap and losers were given any number of punishments or embarrassments the winners could think of. Crashdown had Dee on his lap, Hotdog had Cally, Chuckles had racetrack and Helo had Kara. Hotdog and Cally lost next and Crash and Dee whispered the sentence between them. Crash clears his throat, "young Cally you must lick Hotdogs face from forehead to chin." Everyone laughed, Cally pulled a face and Hotdog's smile grew wide. They cheer Cally on as she performs her task and if it's at all possible Hotdog's smile gets wider. Helo reluctantly announces he has to quit as he has an early raptor patrol in the morning, and everybody boos him 'cause they'll be one man short. "Sorry guys it can't be helped." He makes his way to the hatch just as Lee walks in. The whole table cheers, except for one, at the possibility of a new player. "Het CAG," Helo starts "can you take my place at the table? I've just made it uneven and everybody is mad at me." Lee can only see the backs of Cally and Racetrack sitting on Hotdog and Chuckles and without realising what's really going on says yes. Everybody cheers again and Kara wants to flee. But it would be too obvious and why should she leave, she was here first and enjoying some much needed relaxation time after the frakked up weeks she's been suffering through.
Lee heads around the table and freezes with the realisation of who Helo's partner was. FRAK! What's he going to do? He could see the slight panic in her eyes she was trying to hide beneath one of her trade mark grins. There was nothing he could do without drawing stupid attention to himself, so he took a deep breath and stood next to Kara. She got up, watched him sit, paused for five seconds, then sat down on his lap like she belonged there - which of course, she did. She wiggled in his lap a bit to get comfortable and Lee quickly put an arm around her waist to still her before his traitorous body sold him out.
Kara was having a hell of a time trying to keep her breathing under control. Lee's strong warm arm around her waist and the feel of him under her was sending her body into a hyper-sensitive awareness. Lee felt so warm and he smelled so good. Damn! Well Thrace you and Lee are the best there is so don't panic, I doubt we'll lose. They lost four hands later. Hotdog's thinking a bit of payback is in order for all of Starbuck's *call me god - I'm the flight instructor* manoeuvers, and Cally has a wicked glint in her eye. They defer, nod and Hotdog announces "Starbuck has to kiss the CAG for two minutes." Cally pipes up "mouths open." Kara blurts out, "No frakking way." "That's not fair Starbuck" Dee quips, "you made me kiss Crashdown, Billy's going to be furious." Kara hopes Lee might say something but he doesn't.
She sighs in resignation, puts on a devil may care grin and shifts in Lee's lap until she is sideways. They stare at each other and the tension becomes palpable. The other players are laughing and cajoling, urging them on. Kara licks her lips and Lee tracks the movement. She takes a breath, leans in and someone says countdown begins - now. Lee doesn't move, forces Kara to lean into him. He can't believe this is happening. Her lips come in contact with his, so soft, so sweet, yet he doesn't respond and Lee's pretty proud of that. He senses her mouth opening slightly and her tongue runs slowly over his lips seeking entrance. Lee opens his mouth. Her tongue tentatively dips in his mouth and tastes him and Lee can taste her too and holy hell his resistance cumbles and he starts to devour her. She lets out a gasp of suprise and she tries to draw back, so he thrusts a hand in her hair and keeps her locked to him. A sound of desperation and longing escapes from Lee's throat and Kara can't hold back anymore and meets his intensity with a passion she didn't know she possessed. "Kara" and it sounds so intimate, so full of love that the table goes quiet. The moan that escapes her has the table getting out of their chairs to get the frak out of there. Then the timer goes off and Lee and Kara instantly pull apart. She turns her face back to the table and looks like a woman who just got the kiss of a lifetime and says with a shortness of breath, "sit the frak back down and don't put out challenges if you can't hack them being done."
The game continues and Lee drops his head foreward to rest on her back, desperately trying to get his breathing under control. Lee can sense it, she's going to ignore him like he doesn't exist. Lee thinks he hates her still except he wants her to be the mother of his children.
Kara can feel Lee's head on her back, his breathing become regular again and his hands become light, barely touching her at all. How does he do it? Her heart is ready to beat out of her chest and she's fighting the strongest urge to throw him on the table and frak his brains out. This is getting beyond the joke, so much for expelling him from her mind and heart. She's totally at a loss at what to do next.
Lee meets up with 'what's-her-name' again, the night after the infamous card game. He's determined to scrub Kara's searing mouth from his memory,'cause quite frankly he hadn't been able to think of anything else since then. Just thinking about it kept getting him aroused and it was damned uncomfortable. The woman had obviously made a lot of effort to look good for him, her hair was in some high styled fashion, lots of makeup and her clothes were just so. Kara didn't need makeup to look beautiful and as far as fashion went, she could wear a sack and would still be the sexiest woman he knew. Lee desperately tried to push blond hair, gorgeous green eyes and full soft lips from his mind. He stared at what was in front of him and tried not to let his disappointment show. He leaned in to kiss her and did his best to enjoy, but felt nothing - it was like he was dead inside. Just then a call to action stations was announced. Lee almost gratefully left the woman and headed for his viper. Although the reserve pilots would be ready and on their way, he needed to suit up and be prepared himself to serve as either CAG or pilot. As he entered the room to change into his flight suit, Kara was already there just stepping into hers. She looked up at him and the heat that flashed through his body was intense and powerful. She's ready to go and as she passes him she stops and brushes her fingers over his hand and tells him "don't get dead Lee," and his heart swells in hope that maybe she does care after all.
Kara is shaking with terror as she climbs out of her viper. She can see Lee's Mark VII smoking with one engine blown out. How he managed to land that thing she doesn't know. Post flight checks are done and she sees him leave the hanger bay, he didn't once look over to her. She heads after him with barely contained rage, grabs the back of his flight suit and hauls him into a storage room.
"Hey, what the frak? Kara let go!"
She slams the door and turns to glare at him and then gets right up in his face. "What did I tell you? What did I tell you?" Lee's face goes blank. "Don't get dead! Asshole!"
Lee's voice is quiet in contrast to her yelling. "I'm not dead."
"Yeah, only by some frakking miracle! I can't lose you, do you understand me?"
"It's not fun is it? The fear of losing someone." His voice is still quiet.
Kara's eyes narrow "what?"
"This was only a few minutes for you Kara, how do you think I felt when you were on Caprica. Hell I didn't even know if you made it that far. That was weeks of agony. Not to mention the time you were stranded on that moon. And stop acting like you care about me when you so obviously don't."
"How can you say that. You're all I've got, you're all I want."
"Want?" Lee's voice was harsh. "You couldn't find better ways to show me how much you don't want me. I got that message after Baltar and after you jumped away without a single frakking word to me!"
Kara's eyes were moist and she was still trembling, but she had to get it through his very thick skull just how much she wanted him. She closed the distance and kissed him hard.
After a few seconds he shoved her away, forcefully. "Knock it off Kara, that's not what I meant. I know you have the ability to frak any man you see and I have no interest in becoming another notch."
Kara can tell this is going to take an effort. She takes a deep breath, softens her voice and wills him to understand her. "Who do you think I wore that dress for Lee?"
He stops short, blinks at her change in tactic. "How the frak should I know?"
"Stop being a damned coward and answer me honestly."
"Me" he says in a small voice.
"Yes you, you ungrateful bastard! I've never even worn a dress for Zak - not once! I wanted to show you that maybe I could be someone you could be proud of, that maybe you'd notice I was actually a woman. We didn't even get through two songs before you let Baltar cut in. I was offering you the best I had that night and you still didn't want me."
"Yes I did."
"Don't frakking lie, Lee."
Lee let out a nervous breath. "Have you even fallen in love at first sight Kara?" She looked confused but he plunged ahead. "I let you go that night because it's what I've had to do since the day I met you. I remember sitting in a bar near the academy on Caprica waiting for my brother to finish class. I heard this voice laughing and talking that went straight through my heart. When I saw the face that matched that voice I was lost. Your smile lit up the entire room. I knew from the moment I saw you that you were my other half. I fell for you like nothing I'd ever experienced before or since then. I sat and watched you, trying to work up the courage to introduce myself wondering how far from protocol it was to ask someone to marry you on a first date. Then my brother walked in and you spotted him immediately and you threw yourself into his arms and kissed him like he was a god. Then Zak dragged you over to my table and introduced us and that's the only time I've resented my brother. I've been going against my natural instincts when it comes to you ever since."
Kara was stunned. Well what can you say to that? "Lee, you need to know two things."
Lee looked up at her feeling completely vulnerable for laying out his most deepest secret, expecting scorn for how inappropriate his feelings for her were.
"Don't you dare ask me any questions because I'm not going to tell you any more than I think is necessary. One: Zak nearly broke off our engagement because he thought I was in love with you. He could see how amazingly well we went together and it drove him insane. Two: when I was with Baltar I called out your name. That's why he was so pissed at me and you for that matter. And you would think that humiliating myself like that would make me hate myself but the fact that it wasn't you kept breaking my heart and I felt like I'd somehow betrayed you was what made me hate myself. I can't remember him at all Lee, because I shut my eyes and thought of you the whole frakking time, I wanted you that much."
Lee felt jealousy, triumph and arousal all at once. But the fact that she really did want him was all he could focus on at the moment. Something turned over in his chest and he was so in love.
Then she was kissing him again, but this time he didn't shove her away. The intensity of the kiss kept growing, making the one they shared at the card game seem like a peck on the cheek. Her taste was driving him wild and he wanted to taste her everywhere. She drew away for a breath so Lee took the opportunity to taste her neck, his hands were caressing her bottom and as he tugged her hard against him they both groaned at the contact.
Flight suits definately needed to come off. She was already working on his and the intent look on her face made him smile. He drifted his hands along her jaw, brushed past her ear and into her hair. She looked up at him "what?'
"You're amazingly beautiful. Did you know that?"
Finally tugging his suit off his shoulders to reveal the tanks underneath, she stroked his muscular arms with a hungry look. "Not half as pretty as you, but I can live with it." She nipped at his shoulder and slid her hands under his tanks to run them along his glorious back. He kissed her a little slower this time, but more deeply and started to work on her suit.
Thoughts were buzzing around Lee's head and he was trying to work out how to make love to her without losing his pride. He'd wanted her for so long that it was almost too much to be able to touch her now! He was worried he would seem desperate, he was afraid to let loose not sure what kind of animal he would become.
She was getting a little impatient so she started to help him with her suit. She finally stepped out of it and then tugged his the rest of the way down too. She ripped off his tanks and then flung off her own. While looking at him straight in the eye she started touching him through his underwear and smiled wickedly as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. He let out his breath and moaned "lords Kara" and then his mouth descended on hers so hot, so hungry it made her knees go weak.
Lee couldn't get over how she tasted, he needed more. He glided his tongue along her jaw and down her neck, kissing and sucking, extracting little sounds of pleasure from her that were amazing. He drifted his hands up the length of her body, brushing the sides of her breasts. She jerked a little at the contact. Lee pulled his mouth away from her collarbone, smiling at the look of anticipation on her face, her hands were on his shoulders. He slowly raked his gaze down her body watching the rise and fall of her perfect breasts, the blush of her pink aroused nipples inviting his mouth. He needed to taste those too.
"You're so frakking sexy Kara!" He bent down and placed his hands on her hips and brought his mouth to the sensitive skin under her breast. Her skin was on fire. He could feel her slight trembling so he held her more firmly. Her breasts were full and heavy and he loved that. He finally made his way to her nipple and opened his mouth wide and sucked her firmly, his tongue dancing along hot sweet flesh. Her moan this time was low and deep and Lee was so hard it was almost painful. As he made his way to her other breast he slipped his fingers beneath her panties and stroked her. That made her jerk hard and her fingers dug into his shoulders, but he kept on stroking.
"Frak Lee, oh frak."
Her slick heat was distracting and he absolutely had to taste her there aswell. He sunk to his knees and grinned up at her, she bent down to capture his mouth and the passion almost made him pass out. They broke for air and Lee turned his attention to what was in front of him. He kissed her stomach and ran his hands up and down her legs and bottom. Then he took her panties in his teeth and dragged them down to her knees. She stepped out of one side and allowed the material to drift down to her ankle. He nuzzled into her and flicked out his tongue. He wanted to lay her on the floor and spread her legs wide but it was too cold and hard, so he flung her sore knee over his shoulder to spread her a bit. She gripped his hair as he pressed in with his mouth, exploring every inch of her hot sweetness with a single minded dedication that had to be admired. Lee was oblivious to her moaning this time as he was so caught up in what he was doing. He loved the way she tasted, couldn't get enough. She came so hard against his mouth that it shocked him a little. No woman had responded so intensly with him before, it pleased him no end. It also made him feel extremely possessive and he was determined that no man, other than himself, would ever touch Kara again. Mine, mine was all he could think. Her grip in his hair thankfully eased as her shudders ebbed away, and if he wasn't supporting her legs he was sure she would have fallen.
Breathing hard, Kara lets out "you've got to be frakking kidding me? Is that what I've been missing out on? That mouth of yours mister now belongs to me!" She put her leg back down and dragged him back up to her. She flung her arms around his neck and kissed him hard, she could taste herself. This time she slid her hands into his underwear and was impressed at how aroused he was. She stoked him lovingly and noticed he was holding his breath and shutting his eyes tightly. "You O.K.?" as she was kissing his jaw.
"Frak no! I don't think I can hold on any longer."
She laughed rich and low, pulled down his underwear, licked his length on the way back up and made herself available to him. "Take me Lee, I'm all yours."
Lee opened his eyes and her smile was mischievous and full of love. He took a deep breath and slid into her heat slowly. They both moaned loudly and her smile fell off her face, replaced by dark lust. She was so tight around him he almost came at once, he needed a few seconds before he could move. But move he did, slowly at first,gradually building up speed. He dragged her leg up around his hip so he could get deeper, his primal growl in contrast to her feminine gasp.
"Lee, Lee oh Lee."
"Kara, Kara." Nothing in life could be this good, he must be dreaming. He was literally pounding her now and she was loving every second of it. Then she was spasming around him with such force it took away his breath and pushed him over the brink into ecstasy, his body releasing itself in deep hot spurts.
They clung to each other for support, panting and covered in sweat, the world slowly coming back into focus. He kissed her once more soft and sweet and she sucked his bottom lip. "Ah Lee?", her breath still coming in short.
"Hmmm."
"The rest of you belongs to me now, not just the mouth."
It was a statement that brooked no argument and why would he want to? "You've got me as long as you realise every inch of you is mine, after all, fair is fair." She smiled one of those smiles of hers that made his heart melt. Then she scowled.
"Frak Lee, how long have we been in here?"
"Shit! Quickly get dressed. I'll go out first and distract who ever's out there, give me five minutes then slip out." They quickly got dressed and just before he left he kissed her full on the mouth. "Lords. I already want you again."
"This is going to be fun."
As the weeks went by, people tried to ignore the fact that their CAG and Lead Pilot were alot easier people to get along with. Ignored the fact that their down time seemed to almost always coincide and when they were off duty you could rarely find them. They tried to ignore the fact that Starbuck didn't play late night cards much anymore and the fact that the CAG all of a sudden became super efficient with paperwork.
The hardest thing to ignore though, was seeing their CAG's foot sticking out of Starbuck's curtained bunk. But they did their best.
fin.