Blind

By Emily

Rating: T
Words: 12,542
Category: AU story
Pairing: Kara/Lee
Spoilers: events take place during “Colonial Day” (though potential spoilers for the entire season)
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters (although sometimes I really wish I did!).
Summary: What if the Twelve Colonies weren’t as fond of Dr. Baltar as much as the President thought they might be? What if there had been an assassination attempt on her life?

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Lieutenant Kara “Starbuck” Thrace had lived through a lot of hard times in her life.

Growing up, her mother had been a closet alcoholic. Everyone on the street thought she was the perfect mother raising the most unruly daughter. They didn’t know Kara got her temper from her mother. On the other hand, it was clear where she got her desire to stir up trouble. Everyone knew her father liked to beat her up whenever his life seemed to be getting bad. The only friend she had had when she was little was forbidden to play with her when there had been an accident with a clothes iron during one of their play dates.

Years later, her fiancé was victim of another one of those tragic accidents which formed the major events in her life. Zak Adama had died in a Viper crash because she had passed him when he should have failed. He wasn’t ready for the responsibility of taking an aircraft into space. She knew that as much as he did. But neither one of them objected to the favoritism she showed during his practical exam. Neither one thought it could really hurt anything that much.

Just recently, she had lost all chance at having a normal life. At finally admitting to her dream of settling down on a small piece of land on Caprica that she could call her own. Of finally figuring out why the gods had punished her so much through the years and getting her much earned reprieve. None of that was possible anymore. Instead she was stuck flying patrols and taking down Cylons for as long as she could imagine. Her life existed from one flight to the other.

It only got harder when you took a look at the man she considered to be the only real father figure she had ever had. Not more than a week or two ago, William Adama had practically called her worthless when he realized out what she had done to both his sons. Her very presence was risking the safety and sanity of his eldest while her love had killed the youngest. If she hadn’t crash-landed, he might never have forgiven her.

So, overall, she thought she knew what making a hard decision entailed. What strength it would take to look past the pain in order to do the right thing. What courage it took to know that your life was going to chance and maybe not for the better.

She had thought she could do it. The only problem was she hadn’t known what “it” would end up being. If she had, she might have worked a little harder to keep “it” from ever happening.

She felt herself suddenly wonder when things had gone so wrong.

To be honest, she had a vague idea. It was the day that Tom Zarek got elected Vice President of the Colonies, and her whole world changed.

But she didn’t have time to remember how easy life had been back then.

It was time to make the hard decision. Be strong. Do the right thing.

It was time to kill the man she loved.

Taking a deep breath and choking back the tears, she clicked the safety off and whispered to the visibly beaten man in front of her, “I’m sorry, Lee.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Lee Adama scanned the reception hall. This whole celebration thing was ridiculous. The man who had been elected Vice-President was not suitable for the position. Hell, Tom Zarek wasn’t even suitable to have survived the Cylon Holocaust. For the hundredth time, he found himself wondering why he hadn’t let Starbuck shoot him that day on the Astral Queen.

Starbuck. That’s what he needed. If he could just find her, then he might actually get through this little festivity without killing anyone.

But how were you supposed to find one specific woman in a sea of dress blues?

His eyes caught on a pretty blond that was standing at the bar, drinking a glass of ambrosia. He didn’t think he had ever seen her before. Maybe she was one of the lucky civilians who had gotten to come to Cloud Nine to witness this historic event.

Even though he’d rather find Kara, he decided it wouldn’t hurt to talk to this newcomer while he waited.

When she turned to face him as he approached, his jaw dropped.

He sure as hell hadn’t expected her to wear a dress.

“So… that bum knee of yours is looking pretty good.” When she just smirked and rolled her eyes, he figured that was his go ahead to keep talking. “And the other one’s not too bad either.”

He winced at the sheer stupidity of the words coming out of his mouth, but he was pleased to hear her laugh. She set the glass down on the bar in front of her and turned to smirk at him. “Lee, if you want to ask me to dance, just ask.”

Still staring, although he knew it had shifted from shock to something more primal, he walked over to stand in front of her. Smirking, he leaned over and whispered in her ear, “You want to dance?”

She trembled slightly before putting her mask back up. That little movement didn’t pass by unnoticed.

“Me in a dress is a once in a lifetime opportunity,” she said as he placed his hand on the small of her back and led her out onto the dance floor.

“You should do it more often,” he said with a smirk as he took her hand and twirled her in a small circle.

Even though the song was of the faster variety, Lee kept a tight hold of her, pulling her into his arms. So what if they were dancing out of time when compared to all the couples around them? He figured they would have one dance to get this right. One dance before they had to go back to being the President’s protectors. He wasn’t going to mess that up just by worrying what others will think.

For once in his life, he ignored the voice in his head telling him the proper thing to do. He ignored the fact that he should probably be sticking to the President’s side, doing his job. He should be scanning the crowd for any signs of trouble. There was still a possible assassination attempt in the works. The proper, by-the-book Lee wouldn’t be so selfish as to ignore his duty.

But that’s what he was doing, and he didn’t care. Instead of watching the newly elected Vice-President, he found himself entranced by the woman in his arms.

They didn’t say a word. He was pretty sure that they didn’t need to. Besides, talking would probably ruin this little stolen moment between the two best pilots in the Fleet.

“Lee,” Kara whispered as the song drew to a close.

“I know,” he said, finally letting go of his hold on her.

They stood staring at each other until Doctor Baltar came over and asked to cut in. Lee knew no matter how much he tried to ignore it, he had a job to do. So, he smiled and held out her hand which was still wrapped in his. “She’s all yours.”

Kara barely flinched, although he did notice a slight change in her demeanor. Regardless of that, she slid her hand out of his without a word and held it out to the doctor. So he tried to forget the first hint of happiness he had had in so long as he began to make his way off the dance floor and to President Roslin’s side.

But he wasn’t an idiot. He knew there was no way he could concentrate on the job enough so as to figure out where the President would be currently standing and the high-risk positions that an assassin might be placed at. Not when the look on Kara’s face when he had handed her off to Dr. Baltar kept replaying in his mind.

He couldn’t figure out what that glimmer of something was. Surely he hadn’t imagined it. But then what would it mean if she had she actually been disappointed to see him leave her so easily? He couldn’t help wondering if he had just done something really stupid.

He caught the eyes of the President across the room and gave her a small wave. She smiled and nodded. He turned to chance one more look at Kara before he ready himself to do his duty.

She was dancing a lot closer to Baltar than she had been with him. He probably would have thought it was the good doctor’s doing if only she wasn’t laughing and grinning that wide smile that was only hers. Maybe he had been right to try to keep her at a distance. Her life would be much less complicated without him.

And that’s when she let the doctor spin her and her eyes made contact with hers.

She might look happy to everyone else, but to a man who had known her for years, it was easy to see that she wasn’t. She was putting up a front to keep the gracious loser’s morale up. Her eyes said it all. She didn’t want to be there.

Kara gave him a small smile as Dr. Baltar pulled her in close again.

And he finally realized he no longer had any real choice over what she did to him. He was lost.

Keeping his eyes locked with hers, he mouthed the words to her. “I’ll be back to get you.”

This time, her grin was genuine.

He turned to make his way back to the President. It felt good to have something to look forward to for once.

He was within two feet of Laura Roslin when the shots started to ring out.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Kara ignored the fact that the gun was shaking in her hands. She ignored the fact that it was his face and not the face of some mysterious stranger staring up at her expectantly. She ignored the fact that she could see the small curve in his neck she had been in bed kissing not even twelve hours earlier. She ignored the voice in her head that was telling her she didn’t have to do this if she didn’t really want to.

This had to be done.

“Can you really pull the trigger, Kara?” he said, cocking his head to the side in question.

“Yes. I can.”

He shook his head. “Then why haven’t you?”

“This isn’t easy. I might not be able to speed right through, but I’ll get the job done in the end.”

“The job? So my father ordered you to shoot me?” He saw her face pale. It brought a smile to his face. “You hadn’t thought about what this means to my father. You’re about to take away his other son. Do you really think he’ll forgive you again?”

“I take responsibility for killing Zak,” she said, shifting the gun in her hand slightly. “But this? This is all on you. Why the frak did you have to get caught up in his lies, Lee? Just tell me that. Why?”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Lee felt something inside him suddenly give way, and he groggily opened his eyes. His surroundings were familiar. He was in… Where the frak was he at?

Galactica’s sick bay. That’s it.

And there was some strange kind of pressure on his right hand. Squinting, he looked down to see that another hand was pressed into his. Following the trail up from the hand to an arm to the face of the one person he wanted to see, he smiled. Kara was leaning up against his bed, sleeping so peacefully. It was nice. Comfortable. Almost familiar.

He shifted slightly as a small pain shot through his body, and she sat up with a start. “Hi,” he whispered.

“Hi.”

“So I’m in sick bay.”

“Yeah. You got shot.” She let go of his hand to touch the bandage on his stomach lightly. “The doc says it could have been a hell of a lot worse.”

“It could have been a hell of a lot better.”

“Well, you were the one that decided to play hero and take that bullet for the President.”

“It was my job,” he said solemnly.

She let out a loud laugh. “Always the same Lee. You did the right thing. I just didn’t like standing there and watching while you did it.” She looked down and touched the dress she was still wearing from the night before. “Maybe if I hadn’t worn this stupid dress, I could have stopped the shooter before any of this happened.”

Lee looked her up and down before smirking. “Trust me, Kara. Seeing you in that dress was definitely worth taking a bullet for.”

She scowled and smacked him lightly on the arm. “So, you broke your promise. You didn’t come back to get me from Dr. Baltar.”

“I was bleeding. I didn’t know my promise still stood.”

“It did, and you broke it. I’m not happy with you.” She sat back down in the chair next to his bed and slid her hand back into his. “So, tell me. Why did you make that promise in the first place?”

He cleared his throat while trying to think of what he could say. Because he knew her like the back of his hand and he knew she didn’t want to be there? Because he was insanely jealous that she was laughing with another man, even if it was superficial? Because every time he was within fifty feet of her he couldn’t control himself? Because he wanted her more than he had ever wanted anything in his life?

“Because you wanted me to.” The way she looked surprised made him realize he had been dead right. “My question to you is why did you want me to come back?”

“Because Dr. Baltar creeps me out.”

He shook his head and shifted slightly in his bed so that he could sit up to look at her. “Anyone could have rescued you from him. Billy Keikeya was dancing with Dee two feet away. If you had sent Dee one weird look, she would have let her boyfriend step in. You didn’t want any guy to rescue you. You wanted me to.”

“Can we not get into this right now, Lee? We’ve both been through a lot. I think it would be wise to get some rest before we started talking about this.”

“Just tell me one thing. What do you think this is?” he said, smiling at her. He knew talking about anything emotional always made her uncomfortable, but if she actually thought he was going to let this drop, she was dead wrong.

“I don’t know.”

“Me, either.” He pulled her hand up to his lips as he lay back down in his bed. “But I don’t mind it that much.”

Without a word, she pulled her chair in a little closer and rested her head against the side of the hospital bed. She wasn’t leaving his side anytime soon.

“Attention on… um… sickbay.”

Lee opened his eyes to stare at the young nugget that was standing at his hospital door.

“Um… the President’s here to see you, Captain.”

“She doesn’t need a herald,” Kara said with a laugh. “Tell her to come in.”

The President stepped into the room. “I thought it would be wise to send someone ahead of me because while I’m mostly here to see how you are doing, Captain Apollo, I’m also here on official business.”

Wordlessly, Kara helped Lee move into a sitting position and then sat down on the end of the bed. He laughed at the thought of what they must look like to Laura Roslin. The fallen god of the sun and his little fierce protector.

“I think I’ll just get to the point. In the assassination attempt on my life, there were only two people who got hurt. You and Tom Zarek.”

“I didn’t see anything happen to Zarek,” Kara interrupted.

“And she had a front seat view on the action, thanks to her dress.” Lee feigned looking hurt as she smacked him lightly on the arm for the second time since he had woken up.

“Vice President Zarek was hit with some sort of light ray. He’s been blinded. The doctors aren’t sure if it’s temporary or permanent.”

“It’ll probably clear up as soon as he’s successfully killed you,” Kara mumbled.

Lee rolled his eyes and looked at the President. “Aren’t briefings so much more fun when she’s here?”

“They’re definitely a lot more sarcastic,” the President replied with a laugh.

“I hate you,” Kara said to Lee.

“I know.”

“Back to my point,” the president started, “Zarek is currently in one of the other beds here in sickbay. When he feels up to it, I need someone to teach him the way around Galactica. Considering he was legally elected 7 to 5 by the Quorum of Twelve--”

“If you call bribery and threats legal,” Kara mumbled.

“--then he has a right to be aboard Galactica. And he needs to know his way around. I figured since you’re going to be off active flight status for a while, Captain Apollo, that you might be up for the job.”

“Me? Wouldn’t it be smarter to assign this task to someone who’s been on Galactica longer than a few months?” He looked at Kara expectantly.

“Oh, don’t you look at me, Lee Adama. I’m about to go back on active flight status. I am not sacrificing that to show a terrorist the best way to infiltrate the heart of the Fleet.”

Lee’s eyes widened at her words, and he looked nervously over at the President. Sometimes he really thought Kara overstepped her bounds when she spoke so bluntly.

“Lieutenant Thrace brings up another reason why I selected you. Seeing as you’re the CAG, you are familiar with this ship. You know what parts you could safely show Zarek and which parts are better left undiscovered. That way we won’t be helping him in any way more than necessary. Plus you have a personal history with him.”

“You’re talking about when I saved his life.”

“He might trust you a little more than others. He might consider you another person he can make a pawn of. I want him to feel safe while you’re trying to figure out what he’s up to. I need someone to get close to him.”

Lee nodded. “All right. I understand.”

The President smiled and walked over to the side of his bed. “Now that the official business is over, I want to unofficially thank you for what you did.”

“It was my job.”

“Last time I checked, you were my military advisor and a member of my security detail for special circumstances but not my bodyguard. What you did was not part of your job. It was part of who you are.”

Lee felt himself blush slightly and looked away. That was a mistake because his eyes landed on Kara doing her best not to laugh at his embarrassment. And his humiliation just grew.

“I’m going to leave you to get some rest,” Roslin said, touching his arm lightly before making her way out of the room.

“Madame President? I think it might be smart to have Zarek moved into this room. We’ll let him think that I’ve been just as traumatized by this experience as he has.”

“Build up an unspoken bond between the two of you. I like it.”

Lee was surprised Kara managed to keep her opinion to herself long enough for the President to make it out of earshot.

“What the frak are you playing at, Lee?” she hissed. “Zarek is not someone you should be messing with. He’ll twist you and turn you until you don’t know which end is up. Why the frak would you want to move him into your room and give him a head start?”

He rolled his eyes. “Come on, Kara. Do you really think I’m that easily influenced?”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

He sighed. “If I tell you why I believe Zarek, will you put down the gun for a minute?”

“No,” Kara replied immediately.

“Figured as much.”

They stared at each other in silence for a moment before he began.

“Well, for starters, every person I ever believed in lied to me…”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Lee listened to Zarek as he kept insisting that he was not the one behind the President’s attempted assassination.

“Do you think me an idiot?” he finally asked. “I know that you want control of the Fleet, and I know you had Valance on your payroll. If it wasn’t you, then who?”

“Maybe it was your dear old daddy. He seems to want control of the Fleet as much as I do.”

“My father doesn’t want to control the remnants of humanity like you do. He just wants to be able to retire in peace. But the toasters didn’t allow him to do that. And now all he wants is to keep his people alive. He doesn‘t care about who has control. He cares that we‘re still alive.” Lee stared at his roommate in silence, daring him to question his loyalty in his father. Zarek eventually looked away.

For about the thousandth time, he found himself thanking Kara for what she had done. She had given him back his father, and it felt like a piece of himself had been put back into place.

“Sometimes I’m grateful for what they did.”

Lee looked at Zarek and shook his head. He couldn’t believe he was stuck listening to this crap. Where was Kara? She was supposed to pick him up twenty minutes ago for his daily rehabilitation walk around the corridors of the ship.

“No reaction?” Zarek said, turning in the vague direction of Lee’s bed. “You don’t want to know why I’m grateful?”

“No. I don’t want to waste my time or your breath.”

“It’s not a waste. It makes perfect sense,” Zarek said. Sitting up, he slipped on the glasses the medical team had given him to shield his eyes when the light got too hard for him to handle. Lee wanted to tell him that he looked ridiculous, but truthfully, he was enjoying it too much.

“Fine. You’re obviously dying to tell me. How can a human being be happy that our whole race was almost exterminated?”

“Simple. If the Cylons hadn’t decided to take their revenge, I would still be stuck on the Astral Queen or I’d be in some penal colony on some gods-forsaken planet in the middle of nowhere. Because the machines attacked humanity, I was given a second chance at freedom. A second chance to make my voice heard.”

“You mean a second chance to commit terrorist acts?”

“It’s all in the eye of the beholder, Captain Adama.” Zarek leaned back casually in his bed. “You should be grateful to the Cylons, too.”

Lee let out a small laugh. “Do tell.”

“I’ve been following the gossip on Galactica. I know a lot about your family and your special little Lieutenant Thrace. Quite a story there.”

“I wouldn’t bring Kara into this. You wouldn’t like where it would end up.”

“Kara, is it? That’s exactly what I’m talking about. If the Cylons hadn’t chosen that exact day to make their attack, you wouldn’t have been within ten miles of this Battlestar. You wouldn’t have a father who comes down to see you every night when you’re sleeping just to make sure that you’re all right. You wouldn’t have a girlfriend like your precious Kara who seems to give up the little amount of spare time she has just to make sure you get your exercise. The girl is exhausted, but instead of sleeping, she comes down to run or walk with you. Most of all, if the Cylons hadn’t attacked on the day they did, your stupid in-the-box thinking would have gotten you killed with the rest of humanity.” Zarek turned and gave Lee a rather frighteningly creepy smile. “I might be blind, but I can still see.”

Lee shook his head. There was no way he could ever be grateful to the Cylons.

“Rise and shine, flyboy,” Kara yelled as she entered the sick bay. “Sorry I’m late for the daily torture that is watching you try to walk. I was working on my Viper, and wouldn’t you know I fell asleep? Cally says that’s never happened in the history of our lovely little hangar bay. Get that? I made history.”

Lee smiled at her. Every day he was surprised at how much his heart leaped when she came to see him.

But in the back of his head, he found himself noticing the circles under her eyes and way she was favoring her good knee more and more.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

“You ever wondered why we’ve never found Earth? Why we’re just wandering the stars, making no forward progress?” Kara shook her head, and he continued. “My father lied to us. He has no fraking clue where we’re going. There is no way to find Earth. Earth might not even exist for all we know. He gave us false hope, and he didn’t care enough to even let you and me in on the little ruse.”

“The Old Man has his reasons if what you say is true.” She knew that her faith in William Adam was a little blind, but with the state of the world, she wasn’t concerned. You had to believe in something. She had always thought that was Lee. But obviously things change.

“Another reason, President Roslin was dying. She chose to lead this Fleet even though she knew she would not be with us whenever we finally found a place to rest. That was why she got so upset when Zarek got elected Vice-President and why she was so nonchalant about the whole assassination attempt.”

“Which one are you talking about?” Kara said, scowling at him.

“The one that didn’t succeed.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Lee felt his side tighten up as he slowed from a full-on run to a dead halt. He knew he was pushing this whole healing thing a little too far, but he didn’t want to waste anymore time. He had to get back to active flight status so he could resume his duties as the CAG.

And when that was done, he could make sure Kara was getting her fair share of rack time. She was looking positively ghostly now. He was pretty sure that instead of sleeping, she sat with him in sick bay, trying to keep him entertained. And if he was sleeping when she showed up, she just sat and watched him. He couldn’t count the number of times he had woken up to find her doing just that.

Sighing, he started to run again. The quicker he could pass his physical test, the quicker he could make life return to normal.

“Fancy meeting you here.”

The voice made him cringe. “How the hell did you get all the way out here, Zarek?” Lee asked as he went a few steps back to stand in front of the blind man.

“You described the corridors really well.”

“Or maybe you already knew the schematics of Galactica because you’re plotting something.”

“That’s possible,” Zarek said with a smile. “Now, would you be so kind as to help me back to my quarters?”

Lee nodded. Then, upon realizing that Zarek wouldn’t be able to see that, he said, “Okay. But I don’t understand why if you got here, you can’t get back.”

“I got a little turned around.”

He was totally full of crap, and they both knew it. Zarek was plotting something, and for whatever reason, he was making Lee a part of it.

“How is President Roslin doing these days?”

“You’re Vice-President. Shouldn’t you know?”

“I know how she’s doing politically. Pretty well, in case you didn’t know.”

“I do. I’m her military advisor.”

“And her special friend.”

Lee grabbed Zarek’s arm and pushed him up against the corridor wall. “What are you trying to imply?”

“Settle down, boy. I’m just saying that you’re awfully close to the beautiful President. She seems to need to consult you quite a lot. I thought that maybe you would know something more about her.”

“Something useful, you mean.”

“I just wanted to see if she’s feeling safe.” Zarek smiled at him as they turned the corner of the hall. “You seem really intent upon pushing yourself to get better. I figured she must not be feeling entirely safe if you’re trying so hard. She needs your protection, doesn’t she?”

“I’m not doing this for her.”

“Forgive me for implying that you were.”

“We’re here,” Lee said, stopping in front of a hatch and smacking the panel to get it to open. “You have a meeting with the President at 0800. Don’t be late.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“I’m not sure.”

“How do you feel about the plan the President wants to propose to your girlfriend?”

He had no clue what Zarek was referring and therefore, his silence obviously gave Zarek the answer he was looking for. “I’m sorry. I thought you knew considering you are her military advisor. I mean, suicide missions are usually your forte. I figured you would have had some hand in planning it.”

Lee didn’t say a word. He just turned on heel and started running again.

This time, he welcomed the pain.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

 “Worst of all was the fact that you never told me what you planned to do.”

She shook her head. She had no idea why that seemed so critical to him. He had given up everything he had worked so hard to earn the past few months because of what she was trying to do? Sometimes her life really made no sense. “I didn’t realize that you’d be so mad about it. I thought it would make things easier.”

“There you go again! Always thinking of yourself and how you can keep from actually caring about someone other than yourself.”

“I wasn’t thinking of myself. Sure it would probably make this whole poor excuse for a life easier for me, but I thought that you would want it to.”

“You should have asked. Then I would have told you what a stupid, screw-up kind of thing it would be.”

She didn’t understand it. How could he be so angry with her for setting up a meeting with his father to discuss the potential relaxation of the stupid Fleet’s fraternization policy? She thought Lee would want her to be able to openly admit how much she had come to love him. And maybe she wouldn’t have to keep sneaking around the corridors of Galactica just to get a quiet moment alone with him.

“I don’t see how I could have driven you to doing something so stupid,” she finally said.

“It was the only option. Zarek made that clear.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

“You requested to see me, Mr. Vice-President,” Lee said, letting himself into Zarek’s new office. He couldn’t believe he was actually being forced to obey this man. It would be nice when the day finally came that they could discredit Zarek enough to make the public call for re-elections.

But to do that, Lee had to pretend like he was actually under Zarek’s control. Which meant answering his summons.

Zarek smiled at where he stood in the open hatch. “Yes. I wanted to ask you a few questions. Shut the door and we can get started.”

“If they’re not about the floor plan of Galactica or any of its facilities, then I don’t have to answer,” Lee protested even though he did shut the hatch.

“I wanted to know where they’re keeping the Cylon Raider Lieutenant Thrace caught for us.”

“That’s classified.”

“I’m the Vice-President.”

Lee smiled widely. “It’s still classified.”

“Have you found out anymore about their plans for it?”

“If they wanted me to know, they would tell me.”

“Well, aren’t you a little mindless drone? You just sit and wait for them to tell you what you need to know. No questioning. No wondering. Just blind faith and trust.” Zarek sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Listen, Lee.”

“Captain Adama.”

Zarek ignored his correction. “You impressed me that day on the Astral Queen. The fact that you had read my writings even though they were banned. It takes a determined man to do something like that. I really saw potential in you.”

“You’re not going to get me to follow you blindly like your fellow prisoners.”

“But you might willingly follow me?” Zarek asked, pointing out his mistake of phrasing.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I want you to know that I don’t intend to coerce you into anything. I respect you enough as a person, Lee--”

“Captain Adama.”

“--to want to keep you from having the wool pulled over your eyes. The President thinks the key to finding Earth is back on Caprica. She wants to send the Raider there to retrieve the Arrow of Apollo. To be honest, I was surprised she didn’t ask you to pilot the ship.”

“I wouldn’t have done something so stupid and reckless.”

“But it seems like Lieutenant Thrace would. The way I hear it, that’s her usual style anyway. The President asked her a few days ago, and she agreed to go back. It seems like she thrives on being the savior of the Fleet. Makes you wonder how strong a man you have to be to get her to give that up.”

“If you actually knew what you were talking about, you would know that whomever she chooses wouldn’t ask her to give that up.”

“He wouldn’t want to change her one bit. Are you stuck in a bad romance novel, Lee?”

“Captain Adama.”

“She has many priorities in her life, but it seems like you’re not one of them.”

He ignored Zarek‘s attempts at making this personal for him and simply said what he knew to be true in his heart. “Starbuck wouldn’t make a decision like that without telling me first.”

“Did I miss something? Are you two attached to one another in some sort of permanent manner? Have you actually went through the proper channels and made this little source of gossip official?”

“We have a history. That‘s all I‘m implying.”

“History doesn’t always make a woman tell her partner the truth. You’d be surprised what can be overlooked when the time comes.”

“She wouldn’t do that.”

“Wouldn’t she?” Zarek said. He pressed a button on his desk and then pointed to something over Lee’s left shoulder.

Lee turned to see the back panel of the office slid away to reveal a wall of monitors. There was a feed from cameras in all the important parts of Galactica. The pilots’ bunkroom. The CIC. The hangar bay. The President’s office. His father’s office.

“Why are you showing this to me?”

Zarek pressed a few buttons. “This is where I got my information from.”

An image of Kara talking with the President in her office popped up on the middle screen. They seemed like they were arguing until Kara got silent and then turned to leave. She said something real quick and then was gone. President Roslin turned and smiled as Billy Keikeya entered the room. She nodded and clasped her hands to her mouth.

“She said yes,” Zarek finally said after the small beep indicator went off, telling him this particular bit of feed was done.

“You have no audio. How can you be sure?”

“How can you be so sure she didn’t? I know what my eyes see.”

“Your eyes don’t see.”

“Don’t they?” Zarek said with a smile and a laugh.

Lee didn’t buy the idea that he was faking his blindness for one second. He had watched this man relearn how to function while in that sick bay room with him. Zarek wouldn’t have gone through something so humiliating unless there was a really good reason.

And besides, it wouldn’t be hard to pay one of his prisoners to come in, watch the tapes, and document the events that happened to be read back to Zarek at a later time.

“Let’s get serious here, Lee. We both know that I have power over you. I could easily kill any of those you love with a flick of my wrist. I set up the failed assassination attempt easily enough. It wouldn’t be so hard to stage a rather unfortunate accident to the Commander or Lieutenant Thrace or that cute little deckhand you seem to have a soft spot for. The only thing keeping me from doing that is the little fact that I trust you. I feel like you and I are extremely similar. Which is why I want you to stay on as my military advisor when President Roslin is gone.”

“So you are planning on trying to kill her again?”

“No, I’m not going to. You are.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

She watched as he stood out and began to stretch. “Watch yourself,” she said, steadying the hand still holding her gun.

He smirked and kept up what he was doing. “We both know you’re not going to shoot me.”

“I will do what I have to do.”

“You know. That was one of the reasons I first fell in love with you.”

His words bit through her. That was the first time he had ever admitted it to her. This was the first time he had actually said I love you.

And she was about to kill him.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Lee stood outside the hatch of Zarek’s office. The words he had just heard made him cringe. In brutal, callous words, Zarek had laid out the direness of their situation.

The Fleet was being led by a dying woman who used to be the Minister of Education. The pilots were slowly dwindling in number as the Cylons caught them unaware time and time again. The shortage of ships was getting to be almost as bad as the shortage of qualified people to fly them. That didn’t give them much to work with.

There was a good chance that the only reason they had gotten this far in their search for Earth was because the Cylons wanted them, too. It was highly likely that the Cylons had placed an agent in a high position of power so that they could control the actions of the remnants of humanity.

A tiny voice in the back of his head kept whispering Zarek was right.

Lee shook his head and started to walk. No. There was no way that the President herself could be a Cylon. They had had extensive testing to make sure.

But did Dr. Baltar ever get around to testing the President?

Of course he did. After he tested Ellen Tigh and my father and himself and Kara and myself…

Exactly. There were so many of them to test. Did anyone make sure that she was included?

Impossible. It would be impossible for the self-sacrificing woman he had known since day one of this holocaust to have been a part of their enemy the whole time.

But hadn’t Zarek said that she was acting rather strangely for a woman dying of cancer? How could she keep her strength up so well in public? Why did she only have rough patches at the critical moments when they would be most beneficial to her? Why hadn’t she suggested electing a Vice-President herself if she knew she would not be around to lead the Fleet?

No. There was no way she was a Cylon.

But if she was…

She’s not.

She would be dead set on her ways. She would do anything.

She’s not.

The Cylons are as determined. They think that their god has predetermined their moves.

She’s not.

They think that it’s their destiny to eliminate humanity.

She’s not.

But if she was…

She’s not.

…you would want to protect what’s yours.

Lee was getting strange looks from the people who passed by as he paced up and down the same corridor, having an internal argument with himself. He hated that Zarek’s words had gotten to him so much. He hated that he was actually feeling a little paranoid about this little world he lived in. He hated that a little piece of him actually wondered if Zarek was right.

When Zarek had first told him that he would kill the President himself, he had wanted to laugh in his face.

Now he wasn’t so sure.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

“Everyone always thought it was funny, the way I favored you,” Lee said, placing his hands on his hips and staring at her.

She secretly was happy that he kept talking. As long as he was speaking to her, there was still a chance she could figure out why he had committed the crime. And then, maybe, if she prayed hard enough, the gods would show her a way to keep him alive. A way to prove that it had been Zarek orchestrating the whole thing.

And then there would be a re-election.

“Personally, it always made sense to me. You were the last thing I had on this earth. Well, you and my Mark VII. My home on Caprica and my home on Atlantia were bombed by the Cylons. My family had been taken away from me by either my own pride or your own stupidity.”

That hurt.

Funny, she would have thought by now she would be accustomed to Lee’s defensive use of the mistake that killed his brother as a way of avoiding his issues.

But, nope. It still hurt like hell.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

He hated the fact that he was watching President Roslin so intently out of the corner of his eye, waiting for her to make one move that would tell him if Zarek had any real basis to his claims. This was an informal meeting between the Commander, the CAG, and the President so she wouldn’t even notice the small breach of protocol he was displaying by staring. He hoped.

They were trying to figure out a way to use the discovery of Kobol to their advantage even though there was a major Cylon presence in the system. They all agreed that this planet was the key to a problem that no one could fathom quite yet. It was important that they don’t run from it.

“Do you have any ideas, Captain Apollo?”

He broke eye contact for a moment to shuffle around the papers in front of him. “Well, we all agree that in order to be able to properly explore Kobol, we need to get rid of the Cylons completely. Only we don’t want the other Cylons to know we’ve done it. I don’t think the hiding in the freighters tactic will work again.”

“Never use the same trick twice,” Kara said, entering the room. She gave the President and the Commander a quick salute before taking the seat next to Lee.

“What are you doing here?” he whispered harshly.

“Your father asked me to come. It seems like the Fleet has gotten themselves into a jam that requires my special style of strategic thinking.”

Nodding, he resumed his paper shuffling. “As I was saying, I think the best tactic is one the Cylons won’t expect. That’s why our mission on the mining base worked so well. They didn’t see it coming.”

“Any ideas on what that unexpected action could be?” Adama asked.

Something suddenly occurred to him. He could eliminate all his doubts in one simple move. And then he could tell the President how Zarek was trying to discredit her, thereby fulfilling his assignment of figuring out what the ex-terrorist was up to and insuring that he would never have to have contact of any kind with him ever again.

Lee stood up. He knew that if he was actually going to go through with what had just popped into his head, he would need to have a clear view of the whole room. This was going to happen fast.

“Okay. It’s going to have to happen fast. Soon. And it’s going to have to be with your approval, Commander.”

“Don’t I approve everything?”

“Yes. But for this particular tactic, it needs to be clear. One ship goes out to the location of the Cylon base star and takes it out. Simple as that.”

“That makes no sense,” Kara said, shaking her head with a laugh.

“It does if the ship is the Cylon Raider you acquired.”

And there it was.

Kara’s face went pale.

The President also looked surprised.

His father looked pleased.

It was as plain as day. Kara and Laura Roslin both knew that his plan couldn’t be put into action. They were both aware that the Cylon Raider was intended for another flight. A flight that no one knew about but them.

“There…” Roslin cleared her throat and started again. “There needs to be more thought put into that decision. The Raider is a precious commodity. We don’t want to use it unless it’s absolutely necessary. We’ll meet again in twenty-four hours to discuss if this is our best or our only option.”

“We’re done?” William Adama asked. “We’ve only been talking this through for twenty minutes.”

“I am not feeling too well right now. It must be the pressure of the job.”

Lee’s heart broke. Zarek had been right. She was using her illness as an excuse to get out of any tough situation.

And maybe if he was right about that, he was right about other things.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Lee stood up and walked over to the side of the bunkroom, aimlessly staring out the small window to look into the space around the ship. “Did you ever wonder what things are like out there in all the places we used to call home?”

“Sometimes,” Kara answered, taking a step towards him. She still wanted to know the reasoning behind his actions. It wasn’t enough to have just felt lied to. She had felt lied to before by everyone in her life, but she hadn’t done anything nearly as bad as Lee. She had gotten suicidal when her life fell apart. He had gotten homicidal.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late. Somehow, Lee had drawn a gun from underneath the table by where he was standing and was now aiming it at her. She should have known. Lee was the type of person to hide an extra weapon where he could get to it easily if need be.

“Isn’t your arm getting tired, Kara? Let me point the gun for a while.”

In her head, she wondered if she made a mistake in telling President Roslin there was no way she could take that Raider to Caprica if the military needed it. That she had loyalties and priorities. Keeping the Fleet safe came before any other.

Her heart broke as she realized that wasn’t necessarily true. The man currently holding a gun to her was probably a lot more important to her than the Fleet. Frak, if she was being completely honest, keeping him alive was more important to her than keeping herself alive.

Which was why, again, she wondered if it would have been better for him if she had left for Caprica. Maybe she could have helped Lee by getting her bad influence away from him. Millions of systems between them, things might have finally worked out for both of them. They could have found solace alone in their separate lives.

In the back of her head, she knew that was a stupid thought.

Sure, she had told President Roslin no because the military needed the Raider. But mostly, her decision was wrapped up in her love for Lee. She knew that he needed her to stay with him. She couldn’t throw everything away to go on a suicide mission like she always had in the past. Back then, she didn’t have anything to look forward to.

Now she had a future.

She heard Lee click the safety off his gun.

Well, she had definitely had a future yesterday. Now it wasn’t so clear.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Lee lay in the makeshift bed they had made with their fallen clothes in the deserted hangar bay. When he had asked to talk with her after they got out of their meeting with his father and President Roslin, he hadn’t expected this to happen.

He hadn’t expected to suddenly want to give Kara a reason to stay behind. To forget her secret mission to Cylon-infested Caprica.

He hadn’t expected the impulsive need to understand that if everything else he had trusted in his life was wrong, at least he still had this.

He hadn’t expected her to want him as much as he wanted her.

But she had.

And so now they lay snuggled together, naked underneath a blanket she had rustled up from one of the cabinets in the hangar bay. He knew they were both praying desperately that the Cylons would stay away so that they can have this one moment of peace together.

“Kara,” he whispered.

He could feel her smile against his chest. She kissed the curve of his neck lightly, making him wonder how the frak she knew that he was extra sensitive right there. How did this woman know him so well? “I don’t think I’m up for another round just yet, Lee, but if you want to try, far be it from me to stop you.”

He rolled his eyes. “You do realize that wasn’t why I asked you to meet me here.”

“It wasn’t?” She said, pushing herself up so she could look at him.

“Well. Not entirely.”

She rested her head on him once more. “Mmm hmm. That’s what I thought.”

Knowing that now, when she was still in that delirious afterglow, was probably the only time he would get a straight answer, he did his best to ignore the way her voice was giving him goosebumps and focused on why he had brought her here in the first place. “I wanted to ask you something. If you found something out that no one else knew, figured out that everyone you cared about could be in danger, knew of a way to fix the problem, would you do what had to be done?”

“To keep those I loved safe?” she said sleepily.

“Yes.”

“I would do anything.”

“That’s what I thought,” he whispered, kissing her lightly on the top of her sleeping head.

He lay staring up at the ceiling for a few minutes until he knew she was deep in sleep. Then he slid out from under her and pulled on a specialist’s orange jumpsuit. Sighing, he picked her up into his arms, trying his best to ignore the way she instinctively snuggled against him. He knew that he should be savoring this moment. It was because of this that he even thought about telling his father what his suspicions were.

Kara deserved to know if she was being led astray. He walked into an open Raptor and placed Kara lightly on the floor. That should be enough out of the way that no one would stumble upon her before she woke up.

He quickly ran back and picked up their clothes. After throwing them into a makeshift pillow and placing Kara’s head on it, he walked down the Raptor’s retractable ramp and punched in a code on the keypad outside to lock it shut.

He would come back for his clothes after he had spoken to his father about the woman they thought was Laura Roslin.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

“Lee,” Kara said calmly. “Would you put down the gun? I know you’re not going to shoot me. You have no reason.”

“How about the fact that you’ve repeatedly lied to me? That you’ve just been messing with my head this whole fraking time? I think that’s a good reason to get angry enough to shoot you.”

“You’re making no sense.” Finally, she could feel the direness of the situation set in. Her eyes began to fill up with tears. “Gods. How did we get so screwed up so quickly?”

“We weren’t honest with one another,” he said simply. “And you didn’t have any faith in me.”

“Lee. I’ve told you that those words I said to you before you took out that mining base weren’t true. I was just angry that I wasn’t going to be leading the charge.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“Then what?”

“Doctor Baltar. Why didn’t you tell me about him?”

Oh frak.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Lee ran into Zarek about halfway through his trek to his father’s quarters. He wasn’t sure what the Vice President was doing hanging around Dr. Baltar’s lab, but right now, he didn’t have time to find out.

“Lee,” Zarek called, motioning for him to step into the lab. “Dr. Baltar just told me something very interesting that I think you‘ll want to hear.”

“I don‘t have time,” Lee said although he did step into the room. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was looking for any excuse to put off having to tell his father that Laura Roslin might not be who she claims she is. “I have to meet with my father.”

“The latest crisis can wait a few moments. This is important.”

“You have no authority over me,” Baltar hissed as he stared at an empty corner of the lab. When he realized Zarek and Lee were both staring at him, he gave a sheepish smile. “I mean, you have no authority over him, Mr. Vice President. He only has to obey his military superiors. Lovely thing, the separation of government and military, isn‘t it?”

Lee rolled his eyes. This guy really got on his nerves. “What do you have to say, Zarek?”

“Dr. Baltar was telling me how he realized today that his test of President Roslin wasn‘t complete. It seemed she came to him about halfway through and insisted that he test the samples of those members of the Quorum of Twelve first. He forgot that he hadn’t finished hers.”

“An honest mistake,” Dr. Baltar interjected. “And one I plan on fixing as soon as my latest round of tests is done.”

“So, what do you think about that?” Zarek asked him.

Lee gave a quick glance at Baltar before saying, “I’m not sure I can discuss my opinions freely right now.”

“Don’t let me keep you from speaking freely.” Dr. Baltar stood up and walked towards the door. A few steps away from the hatch, he stiffened and turned back to sit down in his seat. “You didn’t have to yell. I’ll stay if you want.”

Lee looked at Zarek who just shrugged. “We didn’t yell at you. Are you feeling all right, Doctor?”

“Oh. I’m sorry. I start to get a little confused towards the end of each round of tests. Exhaustion sets in.”

“It’s not a problem,” Zarek reassured him. “Besides, I think Lee has already answered my questions by saying that he couldn’t discuss it in front of you. I’m glad we’re on the same page, Captain.”

“I’m still not sure.”

“No one ever is.” Zarek nodded and made his way to the door. “Now why don’t you go tell your father what you are starting to think?”

Lee could feel something inside himself nagging at him. Why was Zarek so insistent that after delaying a minute he should hurry off to see his father? He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he missed Baltar having a small argument with what appeared to be no one.

Finally, Dr. Baltar’s voice interrupted his thoughts and brought him back to the present. “Captain?”

Lee looked around to see that Zarek had left the lab and he was now standing alone with Baltar. “I’m sorry. I’ll get out of your way.”

“No. It’s not that. It’s just… well… I wanted to ask you how Kara… I mean, Lieutenant Thrace… well… I haven’t seen her in quite a while. I thought that maybe she had gotten an assignment I didn’t know about.”

“No. She’s been around. I’ve known Lieutenant Thrace for years. If you don’t see her around, that’s because she doesn’t want to you to see her.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry if that was harsh, Doctor.”

“No. It’s just that I thought after what happened at the Colonial Day celebration, she would want to talk to me.”

“The shooting, you mean. You two were with each other when it happened.”

“No. I mean, yes. But no.”

“Okay,” Lee said hesitantly. Sometimes it was really hard to talk to this supposed super-genius.

“After the crowd cleared and the medical team took you and Mr. Zarek away, I went with her down to sick bay. They wouldn’t let her see you at first so I convinced her to wait in my personal quarters. It’s rather close to the medical area.”

“What does this have to do with me?”

Lee watched as Baltar looked at the same empty corner of the room for a moment before sighing and shrugging his shoulders. Odd.

“Well, I figured you would know if she always this aloof after she’s been… intimate with someone. It hurts a man’s ego, you know.”

“Intimate?” Lee’s brow furrowed as he started to put together the pieces of Baltar’s words. “Are you saying that she slept with you?”

“I think it was the grief talking, but yes. I just wanted to make sure that she was all right.”

Lee shook his head. She hadn’t told him. He had been lying in sick bay, shot, possibly even dying, and she was busy fraking the first guy to offer her comfort. “She hadn’t told me so I wouldn’t know. Now if you excuse me, Doctor.”

He was so caught up in his pain that he didn’t hear Baltar whisper “I so hate having to lie all the time for you” as he left the lab.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Kara could feel her face begin to blush. The humiliation of being caught in a lie almost made her forget Lee was holding a gun to her.

Almost.

She was going to kill whoever had told him that while his life hung in the balance on an operating table in sick bay, she was in Gaius Baltar’s bed. It had only been a way for her to get a little sleep before the doctor would let her see Lee when he got out of surgery. She had insisted that she be able to lock the door to the bedroom so that Baltar couldn’t get any crazy ideas while she was sleeping.

But no one else knew that little detail, did they?

What if someone had saw her enter Baltar’s personal chambers that night? She could only imagine what they would have inferred.

“It’s not true. Whatever they told you, it‘s not true.”

“Liar,” he hissed, taking a few steps towards her. He lowered the gun so that he could get close up in her face. “I’m tired of you lying to me.”

“When have I ever lied to you?” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she flinched. “Okay. Excluding the fact that I was partially responsible for Zak’s death.”

He lifted the gun up again. “Not the thing to say right now.”

“You are such a cold bastard,” she hissed. “Do you realize what you’re doing? You’re pointing a gun at me. Me, the one person you’ve said you need to keep surviving. The person who dragged your sorry ass out of too many near-death experiences to count. Why the hell are you doing this Lee?”

She could tell he was biting his tongue. What the hell didn’t he want her to know?

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Lee didn’t know how much telling his father would help his dilemma, but he couldn’t think of anything else to do. He knew that bringing up his suspicions about Roslin would widen the rift that was forming between the civilian government and the military. But on the other hand, he knew his father would be genuinely happy that he felt he could come to him.

This whole pro/con thing was not fun.

Hearing a familiar and not too welcome voice from one of the conference rooms, he slowed down until he was standing in front of the slightly open hatch.

“Listen. I don’t care what you’re trying to tell me. Zarek’s figuring it all out. He’s been asking Dr. Baltar the specifics of his Cylon Detection system. He knows.”

Lee furrowed his brow and leaned in a little closer to listen to the President.

“I don’t care. We can’t let him ruin this. Adama, either. I can feel him start to crack. One day he’s going to tell the Fleet that he lied to them about knowing where Earth is. Then they’re going to start questioning all the authority figures in the Fleet. I can’t let them poke around in my history. They will find out. We didn’t hide it that well. Which is why it’s imperative that I convince Starbuck to take that Raider. She needs to leave the Fleet, and we need her to go as soon as possible. Her staying here is only making things worse.”

Lee stared in awe. The President was seemingly talking to air. There was no phone. No other people in the room. No sort of visual monitor. She was either completely crazy and talking to herself or she didn’t need to rely on human-made technology to get her message across.

“I will do anything to fulfill my destiny.”

Those words echoed through his head as he remembered his self-denial when it came to Laura Roslin. The Cylons think it’s their destiny to destroy the human race. And where would they start? Take out the cornerstone of the Fleet. The one person who keeps things running even if she doesn’t know it.

Kara.

He couldn’t let Roslin do that. Even if Kara didn’t love him.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he screamed back at her. “I have no clue what’s going on. I just want to go to sleep and wish these past twelve hours hadn’t happened. But I can’t!”

“No, you can’t.”

“I have to remember ever little stinging bit of how it feels to have your life fall apart around you. To have the people you trust the most lie right to your face.”

This whole not-going-to-listen-to-a-word-you’re-actually-saying thing that Lee seemed stuck on was really pissing her off. And she was afraid of what would happen if she let her temper blow.

“You are such a hypocrite.” She laughed. “Or am I supposed to believe that you’ve been telling the truth this whole time? Am I honestly supposed to think the reason you did what you did was because you had been lied to?”

“I did what was necessary to save the Fleet.”

“Shooting the President in the head? Is that what you thought the Fleet needed?” she screamed.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

“Madam President. We need to talk,” Lee said, slamming the hatch shut behind him. He punched the key pad, insuring that it locked. He didn’t want to be interrupted.

“Captain Apollo.”

He stared at her and realized he had no idea where to begin. How do you ask someone if they’re a Cylon trying to kill humanity? Because you really can’t just blurt that kind of thing out.

“You overheard,” she said, sitting back in her chair.

“Yes, I did. I would have just let it go. I would have just swallowed my suspicions.” He felt his hand naturally make its way to his holster. “But you involved Lieutenant Thrace.”

“You feel strongly about her.”

“I always have. I would have imagined you could pick that up from one hundred feet away.”

“I had an inclination.” The way she smiled at him so sweetly made him sick to his stomach.

“What was the point of sending her away? Did you think that getting her away from the Fleet would make us all self-destruct?”

He watched as the President’s smile faded into a look of confusion. “No. I never wanted to hurt the Fleet by sending her away.”

Lee shook his head. “You can stop playing. I know all about your desire to fulfill your destiny.”

“You’ve been reading the scriptures?”

“The scriptures have nothing to do with this. This is about a fatal mistake humanity made and the consequences.”

“I didn’t ask to be put in this position.” Roslin stood up and straightened her jacket. “But since I was, I want to remind you that I am the President of the Twelve Colonies, Captain Adama. And as much as I never wanted this job, now that I have it, I demand a little bit of respect. I never had a problem with that when it came to you before. Let’s not let personal feelings change that.”

As she went to unlock the door from the keypad, Lee drew his gun. “I wouldn’t do that. We’re not finished here.”

“What do you intend to do with that gun, Lee?” She let out a small laugh. “I don’t think it’s physically possible to take another bullet for me if you’re the one doing the shooting. And wouldn’t that be suicide?”

She was joking. He couldn’t believe it. No human would be able to just stand there and laugh when faced with a gun being pointed in their direction. A cool, unfeeling machine would, though.

“When was the last time you slept, Captain? I think you might be suffering from sleep deprivation.”

Lee let himself be distracted for a moment as he contemplated her question. He hadn’t slept for more than ten minutes since Tom Zarek had called him to his office and told him that the President wanted to send Starbuck on a suicide mission. He hadn’t had one single moment of peace since his whole world had turned upside down. Not even those precious few hours in the hangar bay alone with Kara.

“You need to just relax and put the gun down before an accident happens.” Her voice shook slightly at the end of her sentence, and he realized that she was afraid. She was scared of what he would do.

“I thought toasters didn’t know fear.”

“You think that I’m a Cylon?” She looked horrified and yet still in control of the situation. “I have no idea what he’s been telling you, but Zarek is wrong.”

He hated how she assumed that it was Zarek behind all this. He had figured it out mostly on his own.

Hadn’t he?

“I told you to cut the crap!” he screamed.

“Lee. I know you’re not going to shoot me.”

The calm look in her eyes set him over the edge.

She reached out to take the gun from his hand, and he followed the instinct he had been taught in Academy. If the enemy tried to disarm you, you do what you have to do to keep the control.

The sound of the gun going off made him jump.

But the small whimper she let out as she collapsed of the floor scared him more.

He shut his eyes for a brief second. He missed the telephone earpiece falling out of her ear as her body laid itself out. He didn’t hear the cries of Billy Keikeya on the other end, yelling at the President to see if she was all right.

He just shut his eyes and froze.

And that’s when the hatch slid open.

“Lee! Why did you leave me alone to freeze my ass off in a Raptor?” Kara demanded as she stepped into the room. Her eyes quickly ran over where the blood had spattered along his face, down his arm to see the gun sitting in his hand, to the floor where the President lay.

“Lee?” she said hesitantly.

It was finally too much for him. He pushed past her and ran.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

“She was a Cylon. I did what had to be done to keep the machines away.”

“Did you see all that blood, Lee? She was not a Cylon.”

“Machines bleed, too.”

Kara stared at him. For some reason she wasn’t angry at him anymore. Not even a little bit.

No. She was angry at herself.

She had let him slip away from her slowly. She had been tired. She had been exhausted. She had let him fall right into Zarek’s hands.

“Lee. It’s going to be all right. If you just give me that gun.”

“Nothing’s ever going to be all right. No one’s going to believe me. Only Dr. Baltar and Vice President Zarek know the truth.”

Kara felt the tears begin to fall as her last glimmer of hope was extinguished. “You don’t know.”

“Don’t know what?”

“Dr. Baltar killed himself an hour ago. And President Zarek.” She bit her lip and tried to form the words that were going to shatter him. “Zarek’s the one behind this damn search for you. He wants you dead for murdering our former President.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Lee felt Kara running behind him for the first few minutes, but then she was gone. He knew she was trying to take a shortcut. Head him off at the pass.

Too bad she didn’t know where he was going.

He wasn’t running to catch a ship away from the Fleet. He wasn’t rushing to tell his father what had happened in search of some sort of protection. He wasn’t running to Zarek, even though that was probably his best option.

No. He was going where they wouldn’t look for him.

The bunkroom was empty.

He had figured as much. The word would have traveled fast. Turning, he jammed the gun into the keypad. Sparks flew through the air as the volatile materials inside the firearm connected with live circuitry.

No one would be getting in or out of the bunkroom anytime soon.

Knowing he bought himself a little time, he made his way to his bunk. If he could just get some sleep, all this would go away.

He made it within two feet before he realized that something was wrong. The curtain to his bunk was closed. It was never closed unless he was inside sleeping. He couldn’t remember if he had been the one to shut it. He hadn’t been in the bunkroom in days.

And that’s when her boot burst out through the curtain to connect with his jaw.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

“I love you, Lee,” Kara said, her hand shaking as she raised the gun again. “I don’t want to have to do this.”

“I don’t want to have to do this either, Kara. But I don’t have any other choice.”

“I still don’t understand you,” she whispered.

“Which is why I love you.”

They stood there in silence, both pointing their guns at each other. Both knowing that in the end, they couldn’t make the hard decision. They couldn’t take each other’s lives.

The sound of the hatch door exploding caused them both to flinch slightly.

The sound of the gun going off was lost in the chaos and the smoke.

Years later, when the Fleet finally found Earth, they would tell stories of Starbuck and Apollo. Their feats in the air. How when they flew together it was like watching a symphony. The way they kept everyone alive by making sure that each person had something to live for. How they were each other’s reasons to live. When the times got rough, they were there to give the Fleet hope that one day things will get better. How together, they were their own example of how things might already be better.

But mostly the Fleet would talk about this specific day. The day when the tough decision had to be made. When everything was riding on this one hand.

A shot went off. A life was taken. The Fleet was changed.

The day that one gun went off but two lives were destroyed.