Word Count: 1,848
Date: 05/20/05
Series: One
Rating: M
Category: Relationships
Pairing/Focus: Lee, Kara
Warnings: angst/romance
Summary: Kara is stuck in Life Station after returning from
Caprica and she receives a few visitors...
Spoilers/Disclaimers:I don't own these characters, Ron Moore
& Co. does
Part One
"Well, well what do we have here?? The mighty Starbuck back from Caprica and sitting on her ass in Life Station once again."
Kara Thrace spared a death glare in the general direction of Cheif Officer Paul Tigh before countering with, "Yeah you fight a blonde cylon bitch and we'll see how good you look."
A marine guard had escorted her to Life Station after she landed with Helo & Sharon, the former was brought with her to Life Station while the later was shackled and dragged off…hopefully to the brig. She was surprised that Lee was not there, but then again they had not parted on friendly terms.
No one spoke to her on deck, not that the marine detail gave them a chance to, but in addition no one seemed surprised by the knowledge that Sharon Valeri was cylon. "I suppose you know about Boomer?"
Tigh's face reigned in a powerful emotion, one that Kara recognized as blind hatred, normally directed at her, but he quickly donned a placid look. "Yes, we know. The Boomer on Galactica was the one tagged to run the nuke drop after your little stunt left us high and dry."
Guilt swelled up like bile but Kara swallowed it back, "I'm surprised the CAG didn't take the job."
"Capt. Adama was under military arrest at that point in time. He was arrested after pointing a gun at my head during a mission to relieve President Roslin from office. The Old Man knew that she played a role in your actions and called for her to step down. Apollo disagreed with the commander's decision and `followed his instincts.' Roslin gave up shortly after that and Lee was arrested on charges of mutiny."
If not for the gravity of the situation Kara would have laughed outright at the mere thought of Lee as a mutineer, but war has the tendency to simultaneously produce the most unlikely heroes and screw ups. Well that certainly explained his absence on deck.
Kara returned to the conversation, "And I take it that Boomer's cylon programming prevented her from blowing up the base star and completing the mission?"
The anger Tigh was repressing suddenly reemerged with a vengeance as he all but spat "On the contrary, she did. In fact she did such a bang up job that the Old Man congratulated her and Racetrack personally in front of all CIC, where she politely accepted his praise then swiftly put two into his chest."
Kara's world just lurched like an FTL jump. She struggled to hold back the nausea to ask "Is he alright??" The words came out at a mere whisper and she held what little breath she had awaiting his answer.
"He survived the surgery but he hasn't regained consciousness. Lee's been at his side whenever he wasn't on duty. I think seeing his father get shot was about the last draw." He was quite for a moment, before continuing in a more official manner "But I'm not here to brief you on the events during your absence Starbuck. Nor do I give a rat's ass about that relic you brought back; you can take that up with the President."
She leveled Tigh with a cocky smile, "And I take it that I'll be visiting with her in the brig, sir?"
He looked at her smug expression and knew exactly where she was headed with this. Starbuck thought she was invincible. With too many pilots dead and the remaining majority inexperienced, she was betting on being too valuable to be left in a cell to rot. Well Starbuck was in for the shock of her life and a truly decadent smile graced Tigh's lips. "The President and the CAG have been released from custody, but both are on a short leash. You my dear can converse with President Roslin on Colonial One, and during that talk I suggest you see what other uses she may have for you in the civilian fleet."
Tigh purposely paused to savor this moment and then continued, "Lt. Thrace, consider this your notification of dishonorable discharge from the colonial fleet for desertion of post during wartime, theft of military property, and mutiny." He leaned in closer to her and whispered, "Its past due that the crew of Galactica remember that we are each responsible for our own actions, no matter who you are. I had to let Lee and Roslin off the hook, but your discipline record coupled with this latest stunt will serve as a solid example that there are consequences for every decision we make. The almighty Starbuck is not untouchable."
Kara fumed at the obvious pleasure that Tigh was taking in this tirade. The pain of her injuries, the trauma of Caprica, the Commander being shot, Lee hating her for being a slut, and now this! It was all about to overflow and Kara was damned if she was going to have a breakdown in front of Tigh. "Will that be all SIR" she bit off with a snear.
Tigh merely regarded her with a smile of supreme satisfaction.
"Then kindly FRAK OFF and get out so I can recover in an asshole free enviroment."
Tigh's smile dwindled down to a grin before he turned on his heels and walked out of her cubicle.
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After a few hours of troubled and drug induced sleep, Kara woke to find that she had a visitor, though not the one she'd hoped for. Dr. Gaius Baltar was standing with a broad and arrogant smile at her bedside. Frak, she thought. She couldn't deal with this right now. What she needed was to talk to Lee and visit his father, but her knee was preventing her from getting out of bed to do either. Though, now that the pain killers had worked their magic, Kara was considering giving it a try. There was the added bonus of escaping from `Dr. Worst Mistake of My Life'.
"I heard that you were back and since I'm also under Major Cottle's care, I decided to check up on you" Gaius said, pointing out his Kobol injuries.
Six placed a firm hand on Gaius' neck and warned him, "Don't make the same mistake twice. She'll only cause you more pain. She's not worth it."
Kara decided the direct and brutally honest approach would be best here, especially since he didn't seem to get the message that she had no interest in him beyond Colonial night. Hell he hadn't even kept her interest that whole evening! "Look Doc, I'm not the best company right now so if you don't mind…" her voice hitched as her gaze was draw over Baltar's shoulder to the piercing blue of Lee Adam's eyes. His face was stoic, a mask of indifference but his eyes revealed hurt, exhaustion, and anger…definitely anger. FRAK, she thought, this is not going to go well.
Gaius followed her line of sight and his smile vanished into a bitter grimace.
"Sixty seconds, a new record for rejection, wouldn't you say. Definitely a personal best for you Gaius" Six taunted. Yet, her next inquiry was laced with pity and frustration, "She obviously doesn't return your love so why do you continue to let her hurt you?" She traced his jaw with her pinky as she spoke and he saw in her all the things he wanted from Kara but would never have. The promise of unconditional love and acceptance shown from Six's eyes and he could resist that offering no longer. Six smiled broadly and whispered to him, "She needs to suffer for what she's put you through" she cooed. "She used you. Manipulated your emotions and took away your self-respect. With a woman like her" she tilted her head in Kara's direction, "the only way to hurt her is to attack her pride. She runs from her feelings…expose her and you'll reclaim your dignity. Hurt her Gaius and I'll know that you truly love me." He nodded in reply.
During his mental discussion with Six, the room had lapsed into uncomfortable silence, but accusations flew with the speed of each glance.
Gaius locked eyes with Lee and said in his most cordial tone, "Captain Adama, how good of you to join us." His gazed settled back on Kara "Is it alright if I call you Lee?? It is Lee, isn't it?" Kara's face seemed to tighten in response to Baltar's question.
"That's fine Mr. Vice President" Lee replied while staring at the doctor in confusion. Although he was addressing Lee he refused to break eye contact with Kara and she seemed to be reciprocating this stare-down. Lee slowly walked to stand on the opposite side of Kara's bed, at which point she finally looked at him. Lords he had missed those eyes! He was about to inquire about her health but was interrupted by Baltar.
"Oh, no need to be so formal, Lee. Not when we're all on such intimate terms."
"Stop it" Kara commanded. She'd pulled her eyes away from Lee to Baltar and her body was shaking with a mixture of apprehension and anger. What the frak was he playing at??
As if channeling her thoughts and emotions, Lee inquired "What the frak is going on here?? What did I miss?"
Baltar shrugged nonchalantly and directed his answer to Kara, "Nothing spectacular."
Oh no, he did not! Concussion, cracked ribs, busted-knee be damned Kara was going to kick Gaius Baltar's ass! She was sitting up with her legs hung over the side of the hospital bed before you could blink an eye, but before she could get in a good punch she felt the mattress behind her sag. Lee's strong arms were securely wrapped around Kara's entire torso, preventing her from mounting a successful physical attack. Her voice was steeled with venom as she ground out the name of her prey "Gaius."
Most people would tuck tail and run when Starbuck addressed them in a tone like that, but instead Gaius Baltar did the unimaginable and burst into hysterical laughter.
Lee had suspected that Baltar was out to lunch on several occasions but this was irrefutable proof of dementia. His previous comment was an obvious reference to what transpired between him and Kara on Colonial night. Anger and jealously swirled in Lee's veins and he was sorely tempted to just let Kara go and teach this pompous prick a lesson.
Kara was beyond livid! And if Lee weren't holding her back she would've been the Astral Queens' newest addition for assonating the Vice President of the colonies.
Baltar gasped to regain control of his faculties, and looked at the pair. "Oh come now Lt. Thrace, surely you must see the humor in this situation. I mean you," he failed to suppress a giggle, "in bed, in the Captains' arms, and calling out my name? It's the very pinnacle of irony." He looked Lee Adama straight in the eyes and lamented, "I suppose this makes us even." Gaius promptly walked out into main Life Station leaving a devastated Kara and dumbstruck Lee in his wake.
Part 2
Kara was numb. Never in all her life had she been so utterly exposed and humiliated. She knew she'd hurt Gaius Colonial night. She saw it in his face when she cried out Lee's name. But after the card game they'd come to a mutual agreement to just forget the whole thing. What he just did certainly violated that pact. That display wasn't only cruel, it was vindictive. There was a ghost of a smile on Gauis' features during that whole ordeal and Kara's numbness began to fade into white hot rage. "Let me go."
Not a request, a soft and dangerous demand, Lee noted. "No! No way. I'm not letting you walk away from this discussion, even if he does deserve the wrath of Starbuck for that little confession." His tone softened "At least he does if it were true?" He released her arms and turned Kara around so that they were facing one another. Gently, he cupped her face in his hand and asked her, "Is it?" She wasn't making eye contact with him, just staring down, and if Lee didn't know better he'd swear there was a slight tremor to her body.
Kara was tired…of the war, of the politics, of the uncertainty and lies. She couldn't play this game of flirt and flee anymore, she wanted Lee, as her friend if nothing else and that required honesty. She let out an exhausted sigh and answered him, "Yes. It's true."
She looked up at him as she made the admission and there was a fear in her eyes that Lee had never seen before. He'd all but called her slut on deck that day because he had no idea how to deal with a jealously, he'd never expected to feel. The guilt over his behavior was overwhelming and Lee suddenly couldn't face her anymore. He tore his gaze away and he looked toward the ceiling with a sigh. How do you apologize for being the biggest asshole left in the human race, he thought.
Kara interpreted the break in eye contact as a sign of rejection. She'd just bared her soul and opened up to him, exposing a vulnerability that even Zak had never seen. And he was so disgusted he couldn't even look at her. Well FRAK him! Kara tore her face away from Lee's grip and pushed him as far back as possible and yelled, "Get out."
Lee was flustered, "What?? Kara I'm not going until you let me…"
"Let you what?? Explain why you can't stand to even look at me because you think I'm such a whore! Listen to you list off the reasons that I'm not good enough for you?"
"NO!"
"Well I don't want to hear anymore about what a screw-up I am, so just get out. GET OUT!!!" She was breathing heavy and she grimaced at how shrill her voice had become, but right now she needed to be alone.
When Kara got riled like this there was no reasoning with her and Lee really didn't want to get into another physical altercation. He needed time to sort through his thoughts and emotions before he could talk to her without making this worse. He needed to fix this, but now was not the time. He spared a glance at her as he moved toward the opening in the curtain and the sight of Kara broken and holding back tears made Lee hate himself. He turned back towards the exit, intent on letting her cool down. He didn't dare face her, but she needed to hear this one thing, to believe it, to know. With his most tender tone of voice Lee told her what he should've that morning on deck, "You're not a screw-up Kara" and then he was gone.
The tears she'd been holding back leaked silently out her eyes as she held her breath in a vain attempt to force her body back into control. Lords, Thrace you're pathetic, she thought. Kara allowed herself a deep breathe and a small self-deprecating smile. Starbuck pushed away the salty trails from her face with a frustrated growl, only to realize that her confrontation with Lee had zapped all of her previous energy. Her lids fluttered closed as she thought about what Lee had said on his way out, and a final tear escaped as she vanished from the waking world.
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Lee returned to Life Station two hours later only to find that Kara was fast asleep. Normally when Kara slept, there was an innocence in her features that was rarely seen in the light of day, but now there was a noticeable tension in her body. He still didn't know what to say to her, but at least he knew what he felt.
He was in love with Kara.
Looking at her now, all the reasons for keeping emotionally distant and ignoring the building tension between them seemed ludicrous. He had been dancing around the issue hoping the complications or the feelings themselves would suddenly disappear. Instead his inaction and indecision allowed another man to cut in and take her away. The thought of Gaius Baltar touching her was nauseating, but that very knowledge was Lee's penance for the role he played in alienating her. Knowing that Kara wanted to be with him, to the extreme of calling out his name, gave Lee hope that she may forgive him.
He approached her bedside cautiously and tucked a few wayward bangs behind her ear. Kara gave a soft sigh, turning her face to unconsciously follow the heat of Lee's hand. The stress in her face seemed to melt away as he gently stoked her cheek. A genuine smile gave way to a light heart as Lee felt the intimacy of this stolen moment engulf him. He bent down and kissed her forehead lightly, taking a moment to inhale the scent of her hair, and when he withdrew his touch, he was rewarded with one of Kara's sleepy smiles. He reluctantly stepped back from her bed to let her sleep and then made his way over to his father's cubicle.
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When Kara awoke many hours later she felt worlds better. In fact she was feeling well enough to brave a little adventure to visit her fellow Life Station prisoner. She needed to make things right with at least one Adama today!
As she approached the only guarded Life Station cubicle, she recognized the marine on duty as Jason Riso. "Hey Jay," she nodded her head at him as she hobbled over to the curtains with the help of her cane.
"Starbuck! Good to see you're back with us…at least mostly" he gestured the cane with his last remark.
"Well aside from providing added support, this cane increases my ass- kicking radius by 2 feet, so it's a good trade off" she laughed as she made to pass. Suddenly she felt a solid arm grip her shoulder preventing her from moving forward. In fact, Jay was in the process of forcing her back a good 5 feet from the entrance before she let loose on him, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Sorry Thrace, I've got orders. No one goes in to see the commander."
"No one?"
"Major Cottle, immediate family, and military personnel authorized by Colonel Tigh. That's it."
"Riso, don't be stupid you know me. I would never…"
"Neither would Boomer" he countered with a sad but deadly serious tone. "Look, I like you Starbuck and I'd trust you with my life…but not his."
"I'm not a frakking cylon" she told him with her most authoritative voice. Kara took a deep breathe, Jason was a good guy and she had to remember that he was only looking out for the Old Man. The annoyance slipped off as she asked "Just let me see him, Jay."
"Marine!" Kara cursed beneath her breathe as she heard Tigh's voice disrupt their conversation.
"Sir, yes, Sir" Jay saluted as the X.O. approached.
"You will escort, Ms. Thrace back to her bed at Life Station and if she attempts to come near the Commander again, you are to take her directly to the brig and inform me immediately."
Kara rounded on Tigh in the blink of an eye and would've decked him for good measure if the warm touch of Lee's hand on her shoulder hadn't frozen her in her tracks. He must have been visiting his father and heard their `discussion'. Frak.
"What's going on here?" His question was directed at Tigh, but the comforting hand remained on Kara's shoulder spreading warmth and calm through her entire body. Her back was too him and although she couldn't see his face she could hear the anger lacing his voice.
"Visitation to the Commander is highly restricted; surely you can appreciate that Captain."
"Lt. Thrace is not a cylon, sir." Lee stared hard into the eyes of Galactica's X.O. Paul Tigh, his father's best friend, was nowhere in sight and only the second in command with all his prejudices against a surly pilot remained.
"Starbuck has been gone for two weeks on cylon occupied Caprica and during that time she was under the influence of a Cylon whose copy shot the Commander, your father! We have no way of knowing whether she has been brainwashed by the Cylons. The fact that she brought that frakking traitor back speaks volumes to her loyalties."
"Helo refused to come back with me unless I brought her along," Kara argued, "I wasn't going to leave him behind this time. He's convinced that toaster is carrying his baby and…" she fell silent as guilt drowned her final argument.
"And what?" Lee pressed.
"And I wasn't sure you'd believe me, about Boomer being a Cylon unless I brought her back with me as proof" she conceded. Kara knew that her unauthorized trip would damage her credibility, and as much as she didn't care what the masses thought of her, she held the opinion of the Adama men in high regard. While on Caprica she'd had time to realize that they may not take her at her word anymore and she would need to back up her argument.
"Regardless of your recent career decimating journey," Tigh pushed on "you have no basis for visitation. You are not a critical member of Life Station medical staff. Nor are you authorized military personnel, in fact, I just signed the final discharge papers less than an hour ago." A pregnant silence followed this admission, finally broken with "And you sure as hell don't qualify as family."
Lee felt Kara's posture slump at that blow initially, but he could tell she'd regained her poise as she told Tigh with irrefutable certainty "I am family."
"The frak you are!" Tigh exploded.
Kara instinctually retreated back a step, unconsciously, bumping into Lee's chest, but she held her gaze firmly on the XO.
Lee didn't like where this was headed. Kara was going to go ballistic on Tigh any moment and if truth be told he was hard pressed to hold his own tongue. If she lashed out at Tigh, he'd lock her in the brig, and that would only make the whole situation worse.
Tigh knew he was pushing Starbucks' buttons, but he'd had it with her bullshit. "If you had married Zak, or even if he were still alive, you would have a legitimate basis for visitation, but as it stands now you are a dishonorably discharged, frak up, civilian and I refuse to let you waste anymore of my time…" Tigh motioned towards the drawn curtains, "or his."
Kara growled as her last remnants of control evaporated, but for the second time that day Lee Adama restrained her from pummeling another superior-asshole. The satisfied smirk that appeared on Tigh's lips as Apollo restrained her only fueled her rage and she ranted at Lee "Let me go!"
"No" he told her forcefully.
"Gods' damn you Apollo. LET ME GO."
In contrast to her request, Lee pulled her around to face him and tightened his grip. Kara looked him in the eye and their earlier argument resurfaced in her mind. The look on his face was indecipherable, but she simply couldn't detract from his gaze. "I'm sorry Kara, but Tigh is right."
Kara was shocked beyond words. She knew she had frakked up but she couldn't believe that he was siding with Tigh on this. His tone of voice was analytical, almost detached, like the subject was of little importance and Kara suddenly wanted to scratch those blue eyes out.
Lee continued, "You can't beat this problem into submission and can't circumvent the system. This time you have to play by the rules." As he spoke he changed his restraining hold, so that now he was merely ensnaring her wrists in front of her. Lee's stoic demeanor shifted to a slow smile as he asked, "Kara Thrace…will you marry me?"