Word Count: 4,045
Date: 2004
Series:
Rating: K+
Category: Relationships
Pairing/Focus: Lee / Laura & Lee / Cally
Warnings:
Summary:
Spoilers/Disclaimers: Set after Bastille Day before Act of Contrition- but probably AU due to timing /
Chapter 1
About three hours into his shift, Tigh comes to my quarters to let me know Lee has been admitted to life station for shock. Cottle expects him to recover. The doctor would like to speak to me in the morning. “Frak in the morning,” I say to myself, as I head for Life Station.
When I find the old dagget I say, “Doctor, I require a complete update on Captain Adama’s condition.”
“Commander, He came in on his own power. We are making good progress stabilizing his heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing.” Dr. Cottle replies.
“I had a meeting with him earlier, except for the damage to his face he seemed fine. What caused him to go into shock?” I ask.
“Today’s beating was not limited to his face. The injuries suffered at Rangar, Five….”
“Rangar?” I interrupt.
“Apollo walked away from the tandem landing at the battle of Rangar. His viper came in on its canopy and a wing was shirred off due to impact of the landing. No one lands like that and escapes injury. I fused breaks in his left shoulder and collarbone. He was bruised in a classic X-pattern from shoulder to hip bone caused by the safety harness. He must have had the discipline to assume a crash position. I was surprised he hadn’t broken both his arms.” he replies.
I realize Cottle is right. It was a serious crash. “He was flying a day later. Why did he have flight status?” I ask.
“Apollo was mobile. We were busy trying to save as many lives as possible. Maintaining the flight status list was a low priority. By the time I realized he was flying. It was obvious that he had no choice. He was the CAG. Someone had to keep things going. So we just kept an eye on him,” He says.
“So you’re telling me that my son has been in pain since the jump from Rangar?” I ask.
“Yes, Commander, He was listed on the injured personnel report. Didn’t he tell you?
“No, I hugged him after the jump. He didn’t let me know that I hurt him.” I reply. I’m stunned my moment of reconciliation with my son may have been yet another painful moment to be endured for him.
After a minute I ask, “Can I see him?”
“Briefly, we are still working on him,” Cottle replies. “He won’t be aware of our presence. I’m going to keep him resting for the next thirty-six hours.”
I stand at his bedside looking down at my unconscious son. He has an IV in one arm. He has several monitors attached to his forehead, chest and arms. The standard med vest opens at the shoulders and up the front. Lee’s vest is laid flat so life station staff can have access to his chest. The bone fusions of his left shoulder and collarbone leave an aqua marks that the system uses as a guide. The repeated pressure of two hundred launches has prevented the crash bruises from healing. The prisoners did a very thorough job of pummeling him. I see a dozen defensive wounds on his arms and bruised ribs.
“How long before he can resume his duties?” I ask.
“I don’t know. If we stabilized him and follow our current practice of sending him back to quarters and hope that his crewmates make sure he gets enough fluids and takes his meds - two weeks.” Cottle offers. Seeing that I can easily kill him where he stands Cottle adds. “The CAG has got the Air Group well organized. With the exception of himself, he demands a written release plan and has people assigned to make sure it’s carried out.”
“There’s nothing else we can do for him?” I ask.
“I can use drugs to keep him at rest. His heart doesn’t appear to be damaged. I can make sure his hydrated; I can get his electrolytes back in balance. I’ve ordered a completed blood analysis. I can use the blood conditioner to give his kidney a rest. While he’s on the blood conditioner we can clean out the toxins that have built up due to physical injuries, stress, and stimulates. Sir, Would you permit me to use two pints of your stored whole blood to give the Captain more energy when he’s ready to be up?” Cottle replies.
“Doc, use what you need. In the future if it’s for my son don’t ask. Do it!” I say. “Your plan doesn’t put him at more risk? “
“No, Sir,” he says.
“Is there anything I can do for him?” I ask.
“Not much until he’s ready to wake up. Then he’ll benefit from love and support. Make some time in about forty hours,” he says. The Doctor gently puts Lee’s vest back in place and leaves me with his son. I spend a few minutes with my son. I force myself to leave so the medical staff can finish treating him.
Chapter 2
I can’t sleep. I go down to life station to check on my son. I find him asleep on his side with Specialist Cally snuggled against his back. They both look like children. I’m reminded of the way Zak would find his way into his brother’s bed if there was a thunderstorm or he had a bad dream. Cally is simply seeking comfort. I press my son’s call button. I help the Medtech get the girl into her own bed.
Once Cally is back in her own bed and Dr. Cottle arrives, I ask gently, “Cally can you tell us how you got into the Captain’s bed?”
The girl colors, “Yes, Sir, I woke up. I wanted to stop being scared, alone and cold. I knew the CAG was here. I just wanted to look at him. When I found him he was laying on his side, I couldn’t resist. I was only going to stay beside him a couple of minutes but I fell asleep. Sorry, Sir.” Cally says.
“Did you sleep well?” I ask.
Cally looks a little confused but replies, “Yes, Sir, I did. Sir.”
“Good.” Adama says with a smile. ”Do you understand that Captain Adama is injured and that he needs to rest to recover?”
“Oh, yes, Sir. I won’t do anything like that again. Do you think the CAG will be very angry at me, Sir?” Cally says her regret clearly visible.
“Well, the Captain needs his rest. If you wont repeat this kind of behavior, maybe we don’t have to tell him?” I suggests with smile.
“Oh, Thank you, Sir” Cally replies.
“Rest and get well, Specialist Cally. I say ending the conversation.
I accompany the doctor to his office and accept the cup of coffee he offers.
“Thanks, “Doc how are you doing?” I ask.
“I’m coping mostly. I’m short staffed but the people I have are highly skilled. I have the “Sleep Shift” so I can keep them going. I’m not happy that Cally wandered. I’ll have to make some adjustments for patient safety,” he says.
Doc, I’ve only had time to read the summary of your reports for the last week. But I take it that things are out of control if your releasing crewman suffering from shock,” I say in a conversational tone.
“Yes, Life Station was not designed to handle the end of the world.” He replies, “We are having trouble handling our own wounded let alone helping the civilian fleet. I should let you know that shock; depression, panic and suicide are rampant within the civilian fleet. Training and the intensity of battle have delayed reaction on the Galactica but people will start falling apart.
“Doc, I need to get an accurate understanding of what to expect. We’ve worked together for a long time; I know your making the right choices. I don’t see things changing soon. I’m not even sure I can offer you any help,” I say.
“Sir, The entire crew is suffering from fatigue. They all have lost everything. Everyone has lost friends among the crew. The Air Group has lost twenty percent of its complement. Crewmen are starting to go into shock without suffering a specific injury. We can expect an increase in drunkenness, every kind of inappropriate conduct, panic, depression and suicide. Department heads are going to have to watch their staff carefully. I’m going to have to figure out some way to handle crew at risk of suicide.
Sir, The logical first step would be for the other department heads should organize release teams like the CAG. I expect that the role of these teams will evolve as the situation unfolds.” Cottle replies.
“I’ll have Tigh get back to you so you can define your needs in detail. He’ll issue an order to all department heads,” I promise.
“Thank you. Sir, How are you holding up?” Cottle asks.
“I’m doing better now that you’re helping my son. Thank you,” I reply.
“I’m sorry couldn’t do more before. I’m spending the extra resources to speed his recovery because I have them and he’s the CAG. We all stand a better chance with him on his feet,” he says.
“Thanks for the coffee. I’d better get up to CIC. Let me know if there’s any change in the CAG’s condition.” I say as I leave for my shift.
Chapter 3
Late morning I take a short break to look in on Lee. It was obvious that Lee must have been injured at Rangar. I didn’t have to worry about Lee dozing off in battle. Each launch must have been torture. Pass out yes, Sleep no. I taught him to keep his hands up in a fight. I should have realized that his face would have been the least of his injuries. Why didn’t I see the obvious?
My private distress is interrupted by President Roslin saying, “Good Morning, Commander, I just stopped by to see how Captain Apollo is doing.”
“Good morning, President Roslin, The doctor has him stabilized and has sedated him so he can rest.” I reply.
“Ah, his injuries seem much more extensive,” she says obviously distressed.
“Bruises always look worst the second day. I didn’t realize the extent of his injuries yesterday. He’s not one to complain for himself,” I say.
“Will he be alright?” She asks.
“Yes, he’ll be fine. Excuse me I have to get back to CIC,” I say as I leave. I’m not able to politely chat with her now I have to get out.
Chapter 4
Laura’s mind races as she stands at Apollo’s bedside. “I wish the Commander and I found it easier to talk. I can tell that he was trying to be kind and reassuring about Lee’s condition. But my presence was enough to drive him away. I’m full of regret about the trauma yesterday’s decision has caused. Billy has talked to me and I’ve asked Mother Elosha if she could see him.”
Laura reflects on her visit with Cally. “I’m surprised how well Cally seems to be doing. Although brutalized and shot, she feels she was able to fight back. And if not protected from the horror, rescue and revenge was swift and sure. She told me how Apollo came as soon as he heard the shot, disarmed and shot her attacker and made Zarek stop the revolt. Apollo and her crewmates are proud of her. The Commander was very nice to her this morning. Now she’s even had a visit from the president. I feel ashamed that she was an after thought. I suspect I’m not the only one with a case of hero worship for Captain Apollo.”
“Apollo went into shock shortly after returning to the Galactica from Colonial One. I should have realized that he was injured. Today his face is swollen and black and blue. I shouldn’t have let my own needs blind me to the needs of others. After what must have been a brutal day for him, I tell him I have cancer. After my visit to Dr. Cottle, I was terrified that the Commander would use the knowledge of my cancer as a weapon to destroy my relationship with Apollo.”
“Even with all his injuries, I think he looks handsome and sweet as he sleeps. I notice that his arms are much more muscular than I had imaged. Oh my foolish, foolish imagination.”
“I was so confused by Apollo’s reaction to my robe I just wasn’t thinking clearly. It was obvious he saw me as a woman some one who caused a sexual reaction. I’m not saying he’s interested in me that way. But when you get a reaction from your knight in shining armor you certainly notice. I embarrassed by my private feelings for Apollo. My fantasies about him are clearly inappropriate. I felt uneasy. I choose to protect myself. I should have followed my first instinct; I should have asked him how he was doing. Gotten him to talk about his feelings just a little,” Laura continues her private thoughts.
“ No I was selfish. I let him know I’m not angry with him for insisting we do the right thing. Very generous of me don’t you think. He says I have his vote. He’s trying to make me feel comfortable. I as a show of trust I tell him about my illness. I was just protecting myself. I couldn’t prevent his injuries but did I really need to add to his burden. I can’t undo yesterday but I can learn. I take a minute to pull myself together.” I let myself hold Apollo’s hand before I leave.
As I enter Life stations central corridor I hear Billy and Dr. Cottle happily chatting. Apparently last night Captain Apollo had speculated to Dr. Cottle, that medical personnel especially doctors might be passengers on the cruise ships. Billy and the doctor are discussing locating all qualified medical personnel and putting them to work. I think, “Even as he went into shock, Apollo is trying to save my ass.”
I wait while Billy and Cottle finish their conversation. I thank the doctor for his patience as I leave. I instruct Billy to monitor Captain Apollo’s condition and let me know when he can have visitors. I know that Billy will have to talk to Dee regularly to discreetly fulfill my request. And they won’t mind.
Chapter 5
I’ve been told that my son is doing well. After forty hours he’s been awake and alert. There’s no neurological damage. His lungs are clear. His heart rate and blood pressure are good. He’s been on his feet. He is calm. If he can eat, they can release him to general quarters in the morning. He dozes off, before I arrive. I’m disappointed that I’ve missed my chance to see my son awake.
“Doc, you’re sure his improving? How much pain is he in?” I whisper.
“Commander, he’s doing very well. Falling back to sleep isn’t bad. The anti-inflammatory drugs have worked well he should be a lot more comfortable,” Cottle says in his most reassuring tone.
“Hello, Sir. I feel much better. Sorry for making you worry,” Lee says.
“Lee!” I say as I turn to embrace him. I stop. I remember his injuries. I stand there not knowing quite what to do.
Lee sits up and opens his arms for me. “Dad, we just have to avoid a few sore spots. Put your arms under mine and keep them in the middle of my back. Keep your head to my right. Gently. Maybe longer,” Lee says hopefully.
As I hold him, I think, “Lee has offered me physical affection for the first time in years. Things are getting better between us. If I can just keep him with me, I can keep fighting. He might even have a future. I hold him until he’s tired. I realize that not matter how careful or gentle I might be, hugging had to be uncomfortable for him. The hug was for me.”
Lee’s dinner tray arrives. As he leaves the doctor points out that Apollo’s IV only comes out when he is able to eat on his own.
I’m happy just to see him awake and alert. I sit while he eats. I know he’ll eat what he can. The last things he needs is my trying to help him or making any sound that resembles an order. I just take the time to relax.
“Son, How are you feeling?” I ask.
“Tired and numb,” he replies.
“I’ll be back it a little while,” I say.
It didn’t take long and I have what I wanted two little cups of custard.
“I’m hoping you still like these. It’s the most edible thing in life station.” I say grinning.
“Yes, thank you,” He says. He’s blushing. He smiles and turns his head away and then looks back at me still smiling. He still has a sweet tooth. He has no trouble eating his second and third desert.
“Are you ready to sleep?” I ask.
“Yes, Sir,” he replies. I lower his bed, fix his pillow and straighten his blankets just like I did when he was a child.
“Good night, Son, ” I kiss his forehead before I leave.
“Good night, Dad,” he replies.
In the last hour we’ve had more physical contact than in the last ten years combined. He’s exhausted. He’s asleep before I leave.
Chapter 6
Someone is standing next to me. I make an effort to wake up. I figure it’ll be the Commander or a Medtech. I have to show them I’m alert to get out of Life Station.
“Cally, Are you OK?” I ask. She looks fragile and feminine in life station vest and pants. She’s holding her IV pole. I feel a surge of guilt. I’m responsible for her being here.
“Yes, Captain Adama, They leave us alone at night. I came to make sure you were OK,” she replies.
I remove my finger from the call button. I think, “She got out of bed to make sure I was all right. She isn’t angry. I can’t get over Cally’s kindness. I don’t deserve her forgiveness, but I certainly need it.”
“Thank you, Cally, I’m much better. They leave us alone so we can rest. You need to be back in bed,” I say. I’m completely awake. “I’ll walk you back.”
“Which way are we going?” I ask her.
“Sir, Your supposed to rest or you won’t get better. The Commander will be very angry with me for disturbing you,” she says. I can hear anxiety in her voice. You’d almost think she and the Commander had been chatting about my health.
“Sooner we’re both back in bed. The sooner we’ll both be well.” I reply. I follow her out into the hall.
“Why are you awake?” I ask.
(Pause)“I don’t know. I’m just awake.” She says.
I hear, “You’re just another dumb ass officer, I’m not going to tell you a thing.” Three Medtech’s meets us in the central hall, probably the entire “Sleep Shift”.
“I’m just making sure Specialist Cally gets back to bed. We’ll both be settled in a few minutes,” I say with firmness, taking responsibility for the situation.
“Sorry, Captain, She tends to wander. We’ll take it from here.” One replies. “Cally, you’re going to end up in restraints.”
“I’m her CO. I’m coming.” I respond. I reach over and take Cally’s free hand. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I’m sure threatening her isn’t going to help. She holds my hand tightly and looks up at me as we make our way to her bed. The Medtechs get her back in bed.
“I need to stay for a while,” I say flatly.
“Make it brief. Press her call button when you’re ready to go back to bed. Sir,” I’m told.
“I don’t like the idea of restraints. What’s it going to take for you to stay in bed?” I ask.
“I’ll stay in bed, if that’s what you want,” she says in a very small voice.
“Good. But I need to know are you in pain, cold, frighten or did you have a bad dream?” I ask.
“My stomach doesn’t hurt, a dream woke me up. I was cold then but I’m OK now,” she answers.
I get a spare blanket and put it around her. “The extra blanket is in case you wake up again so you won’t be cold. Everyone is having bad dreams. When I have one, I think about sailing when I was a kid until I can go back to sleep. Can you think of something that made you really happy?” I ask.
“Yes, Sir, It’s private,” she says.
“I don’t need to know. You just need to have something to think about so you can relax,” I reply. “Go to sleep.” I sit by her bed. I wait until her breathing changes. I press her call button. I meet a Medtech in the corridor and go back to bed.
A Medtech sees that I get back to bed and checks my vital signs. Once again I fall asleep easily.
Chapter 7
“Doc, I want to make this brief. I want a chance to talk to my son in the relative privacy of Life Station.” The Commander says he enters my office.
“Commander, It’s critical that you understand your son release plan. For his good and the good of the Air Group,” I reply. “His plan contains the usual rest, regular meals, nutritional supplement and gradually restarting his PT program. I’ve put him on anti-depressants. He’s taken a lot of physical and emotional punishment lately.” Sir, We can’t afford to lose anyone but we will. The Air Group is most at risk. Your Son is going to have to keep the Air Group eating, sleeping, and working. He’s going to have to create routine in spite of chaos. He’ll need every edge we can give him. Your two pints of whole blood will give him more energy as he recovers. The anti-depressants are a cushion against the emotional beating he’s already taken and what’s to come. We can’t let the CAG can’t fall apart.”
“I see. You aren’t worried about side effects?” the Commander replies. The Commander has taken off his glasses to clean them.
“There have been many improvements in this class of drugs over the last thirty five years. The Captain is responding well. I started him on the drug when he was first admitted to Life Station.” I reply.
“He’s not thinking of hurting himself?” The Commander asks still cleaning his glasses.
“No, Commander, He feels overly responsible but he’s determined to keep everyone alive,” I say. “You can’t ask for a better officer or man than your son. He’s the first I’m preventively medicating because of his injuries. Even the best train warriors are not immune to pain.”
“Sir, my recommendation is not limited to the CAG,” I say. “ I want to put about thirty percent of CIC staff, pilots and department heads on anti-depressants. Any one in a critical role whose been injured or psych evaluations show a tendency toward depression should be medicated. Everyone will have to mourn the world is gone, but we can’t have critical staff falling apart. We can’t avoid losing some but chemistry can help.”
“I don’t want my officer’s stigmatized. The Commander replies looking me straight in the eye.
“What do you want me to do repackage it as a nutritional supplement?” I ask sarcastically.
“That works. Get it done,” he commands.
“Yes, Sir, If you insist,” I reply.
“I do. Now is there anything more I need to know before I see my son?” The Commander asks.
“I’m done for now. Enjoy your visit. Commander,” I say as the Commander leaves to have a few minutes with his son.
Every time I keep someone alive I feel life is worth living. I’ve had a good couple of days. I’m relieved that the Commander listened. It’s going to take everything we have to keep the crew alive even without another Cylon attack.