Word Count: 1,018
Date: 2004
Series: One
Rating: K+
Category: Relationships
Pairing/Focus: Lee, Kara, William
Warnings:
Summary:
Spoilers/Disclaimers: Not mine. Not none of it.
It was the only time I ever saw them cry. The Adama men are strong. They’re part of the grit their teeth and bear it brigade. But not this day.
It was late when the call came in. Her voice was clear over the radio but there was an edge to it that no one could ignore. It was a dog fight, pure and simple. It shouldn’t have been her. It wouldn’t have been her had her goddamned sense of honour not forced her to do what no one else could have done. You protect your own but sometimes you can go too far. Survivor guilt, it’s called, and there’s now one more person who owes their life to her. Again, anyway. She’s saved all of us a dozen times over. Swinging your Viper in front of someone else’s and taking the hit is pure stupidity. But when it’s someone you love, someone you treasure, someone who you’re determined not to let die, no matter if it kills you in the process? Then stupidity flies out the window.
The funeral was brief and quick. She hated funerals but all of us did, we’d held so many by then. But her death numbed us all. It was the person who got us through the day, reminded us about what we were doing and why we were doing it, who was no longer around. It’s general knowledge we didn’t get on. We wound each other up, got on each other’s nerves, knew each other’s weak spots. But I respected and admired her and I got the same in return, even if she did think I was an asshole. I guess I was.
Commander Adama stood and spoke about her. Sometimes he had to do this about people he barely knew but this was different. This was someone he considered to be his child. His responsibility. And it probably didn’t help that the other one was sitting right opposite him.
“All of you knew Lieutenant Kara Thrace even if you didn’t like her. Her reputation preceded her a lot of the time. A lot of people saw the sarcastic Kara, most people got decked by her at least once and all of you have been beaten by her at cards time and time again. Let me remind you about the other parts of Kara that you might not think about. All of us have been saved by her at least once. I can’t count the number of times she pulled extra shifts to cover for us. She was funny and generous. When we needed it we could cry on her shoulder but the bit she was best at was kicking our asses to make us do something. She was a brilliant pilot but more than that, she was a hell of a woman. My life has been enriched by knowing her.”
There were muffled sobs from some of the girls but neither of the Adamas gave anything away. Bill looked determined to get through this but Lee looked completely blank. I kept half an eye on him as we went through the ceremony. There wasn’t enough left to fill a cup let alone a coffin and there was no one to take the folded flag for Kara Thrace. There was something though, something that Tyrol had managed to do for me. He had gone out with the wreck crew to scan the area after the battle and he had managed to find something, a remnant. He had given it me, unsure of Bill and cautious of Lee and I, in turn, will pass it to them.
“Dismissed.”
The word pulled me out of the reverie I sank into and I managed to look up. Everyone dispersed slowly, no one was really sure what to do with themselves. Lee beat a hasty exit, pleading work but I know him of old. He’s like his old man and chances are he went to bury himself in work. Bill stood around and accepted people’s condolences. They knew her history with the Adamas and respected it. Starbuck never took any shit on that score. Admittedly everyone thought she and Lee had something going and maybe, in peacetime perhaps, they might have had a chance. Not now though.
And now I hesitate outside Lee’s office. I don’t know him very well except professionally. The few times we’ve socialised, he’s exhibited the same sense of humour that his Dad has, and I like him very much. I never thought of myself as a coward, not much of one anyway, but all I want to do is pretend I don’t have this box in my hand and head back to my quarters.
Steeling myself I knock on the door and it slides open. Lee Adama is standing on the other side. Close up he looks dreadful. His eyes are bloodshot and I can see where he’s cut himself shaving. Nothing like a shaky hand to do that. He stands back formally and invites me in.
“Colonel. How can I help you?”
I enter, closing the door behind me. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I know Starbuck and I didn’t get particularly well but she was a great pilot and a fine woman if you could get past the punch.” I hold the box out to him and he accepts it, looking curious.
“Chief Tyrol brought this back from the recovery flight and gave it to me. I can’t think of anyone more appropriate to have them.” He stares up at me, those blue eyes looking so very lost. “I’m so sorry Lee.”
He nods, not noticing my rare use of his first name, and then looks down at the box again.
“I’ll leave you to it.”
I back out of the tiny room, and as the door slides shut behind me, I wait. From the other side of the door comes a muffled noise. A heart rending moan and a quiet clink as I imagine him lifting the lid and pulling out Starbuck’s ID tags.