Strawberry Wine

By Nancy

Word Count: 2,490
Date: 6/13/2005
Series: AU
Rating: T
Category: Relationships
Pairing/Focus: Lee, Kara
Warnings: none just yet
Summary: Lee and Kara reflect on their history and a deeply buried secret is revealed.
Spoilers/Disclaimers: None Everything you don't is mine. Archive: Crys, yes. Everyone else, ask first. Thankie to beccatiendoh for the beta!

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Part One

He's thirteen years old when he first sees her. Sitting outside of the principal's office in faded jeans and a yellow tank top, she holds a cloth wrapped in what he guesses is ice to her eye. He stands there for a moment, hand poised to grab the doorknob, but he can't make himself do it just yet.

He's late, thanks to his brother who insisted that he could not leave the house without his dad's Galactica leather jacket despite the fact that it's nearly 90 degrees today.

"Whatcha lookin' at?" The soft but snappish voice jars him and Lee realizes he's staring at her.

"What happened to your eye?" He replies when he finds his voice. She's kinda pretty, he notices. But not like Kelly McGrath who Lee has a mad crush on. Kelly McGrath is really pretty with long dark hair that she likes to wear in a single braid down her back. And she wears pretty dresses with flowers on them sometimes.

This girl's blonde hair is short, coming just barely past her ears in a cut Lee is convinced she did herself.

"None of your business, rich boy." She snaps and Lee stiffens. He takes a deep breath to push down the burn of resentment and forces himself to turn the doorknob and leave her. He hopes her eye hurts. A lot.
*
Lee hates Jerry Stephenson. Jerry is two years older than Lee but thanks to Jerry's special kind of stupid, they're in the same grade. He's also about two feet taller than Lee, which makes it easy for him to pick on the younger boy. Lee wishes he could sock Jerry Stephenson in the jaw when he calls Lee 'that flyboy's midget.' But Jerry is also stronger than Lee is.
Not that Lee hasn't tried to kick his ass. 'Tried' being the operative word. That got him a black eye, bloody nose and a week with no TV at home. Lee's mom gives him a long lecture on how it's better to try and reason with someone when they're trying to hurt you. Lee doesn't think Jerry's mom gave him the same lecture cause the very next week, Lee's leather jacket, a gift from his dad with a cool Galactica patch on the shoulder, goes missing. Lee knows Jerry took it cause when Jerry shows up at school with a new jacket, there's a bit in the shoulder that looks like something's been ripped off it.

This time, when he charges at Stephenson, he manages to knock out the kid's tooth and bust his nose. And earns a broken arm for his trouble. His dad is proud and his mom is furious. They argue in the hospital and Lee hates it cause it's his fault

Now Stephenson is picking on Kara, who comes up to about his chest and Lee is trying so hard not to get involved cause his dad promised to take him and Zak flying with him and he knows his mom will not let Lee go if he gets into another fight. Then his dad will get upset and they'll fight again. Lee is clenching his fists at his sides. He's standing by the fence awaiting his turn at bat. Instead of watching the hitter ahead of him, Lee is watching Jerry pull open Kara Thrace's bag and pull stuff out.

 Kara leaps onto Stephenson's back and is pulling his hair and scratching him in an attempt to get him to release the bag. Notebooks....loose sheets of paper, a book of some kind....Lee guesses it's a novel, pencils....

Lee knows Kara likes to draw sometimes. He snuck a peek once, she's pretty good.

When Jerry finally pulls Kara off him, she falls onto the concrete and Lee sees her grab her elbow. Then she charges at Stephenson again and Lee thinks she's nuts. Everyone is turning to look now and the improptu baseball game is forgotten.

Kara is yelling words at Stephenson that make Lee's ears turn pink. When Lee sees Jerry swing the Kara's bag towards her head, he decides enough is enough. He takes off and hurls himself at Stephenson and both boys topple onto the ground. Lee is lucky that Jerry breaks his fall cause it would have hurt like hell to have that lug land on his smaller frame. Lee manages to get Kara's bag from Stephenson and for good measure, whacks Jerry on the head with it.

"What the hell is your problem? Picking on girls!" Lee shouts before making a tight fist and slamming it into Jerry Stephenson's eye. For a split second it feels good and then his hand starts throbbing in pain.

"Hey! I didn't need your help, stupid!" Kara shouts at Lee and tries to grab her bag but it's tied up in Lee's legs so he has to get off of Jerry to release himself. Kara gives a mighty tug and Lee falls backwards, his butt slamming painfully enough to jar him and make him bite his tongue. He clamps a hand over his mouth as the metallic tell tale taste fills his mouth. One of the teachers finally makes his way over to the three of them and Lee sees by the scowl on the old fart's face that there will be no flying for Lee.
*
He can't pinpoint the exact moment they became friends. He can just see the great split that is Before Kara/After Kara. After the fight with Stephenson, Kara is still curt and sarcastic with Lee but her comments and insults have lost their sneering edge and she doesn't call him Rich Boy Adama any more. Now she calls him Blue Eyes and she says it with a twinkle in her eye. Kara Thrace doesn't smile. But when she calls him Blue Eyes, Lee can swear her lips almost curve upwards.

 

Part Two

Kara Thrace is thirteen the first time she falls in love with Lee Adama.

He's trying to teach her how to fish but almost every time she casts her line, the rod ends up in the lake. Then he has to wade in to go get it. He never gets angry with her but laughs as he hobbles back, skinny legs wet and hands her the rod for another try. Lee teases her, but he never makes her feel stupid. He laughs at her but never in a way that makes her feel bad.

Lee compliments her when she thoroughly cleans the fish he caught. "Of course, you'd be good at that, seeing as you're a girl." He cracks and Kara tosses a piece of fish gut at his head. It lands in his lap and Lee face scrunches up in disgust as he picks it off. Holding it up he looks across at Kara, who gives him a wide smile (she does that a lot with him) and says, "I dare ya."

Lee appears to be contemplating it and then pops the fish gut in his mouth and swallows. Kara shudders in disgust but she's impressed. Considering that Lee is the son of one the biggest war heroes in the colony, he doesn't act like he's better than her, which of course, he is. She'd even say he's pretty cool.

His mom is really nice to her. If Kara could have picked the perfect mom, it would be Caroline Adama. She always makes Kara feel welcome in her home and sometimes sits and talks to her while Lee and his little brother are playing catch or working on the tree house that never seems to be finished.

Sometimes, when Kara is helping them with the tree house, Caroline Adama rolls up her jeans and sleeves and climbs up with them. She helps them out and always asks questions.

She always sends Kara home with leftovers, insisting that since Kara enjoys the food so much, she should take some home so her mom can see how to make the various dishes.

Kara wonders if Caroline Adama would be mad at her if she knew that Kara hid the food from her mother.

Her mother doesn't know that Kara sometimes goes to visit the Adamas and that she loves it more than her own house cause it's a real home. Karen Thrace is usually too drunk to even know when Kara is home or not. Kara has never brought Lee to her house. She never wants him to see how awful it is there. He might change his mind and not want to be her friend anymore. He might see that it really doesn't make sense for them to hang out cause his life is so much better than hers. Not that Kara cares, of course. She didn't ask for Lee to start hanging around with her. To give her rides on the back of his bike, to share the chocolate raisins that he's so addicted to, to help her with her algebra. But he does, and it's kinda nice to have someone to talk to. Even if he is a bit of a goody goody.

They sit in silence for a while, eating their fish sandwiches, when Lee looks over at her. Kara turns and catches his gaze. Then he looks away.He's been looking at her kind of moony-like lately. Kara doesn't like it, but then she kinda does. It makes her feel uncomfortable. A little panicky. But it also makes her feel kinda nice inside. Like there's a warm bubble in her stomach. But she hopes that Lee isn't gonna try anything cause then she's afraid she'll let him try it and then she'll be a little whore like her mother says.

He grins at her suddenly and then starts digging through the basket of food he brought. "I got a surprise."

He pulls out a pink bottle and Kara thinks it's grapefruit juice. He makes a great show of popping open the bottle and grins with satisfaction when the stopper sails into the lake. Kara leans over and reads the label. It's wine.

"Lee Adama, you pilfered your dad's liquor cabinet? There may be hope for you yet." Kara says as he fills their plastic cups.

"Not exactly." Clinking his cup against hers and taking a drink.

She takes a drink as well and then nearly chokes on the terrible taste."What the frak is that?" Kara asks,shuddering. She reaches for the bottle again.

"It's not so bad, when you get used to it." Lee assures her.

"Strawberry Wine. Non-alcholic. How about non-edible? Lords, Blue Eyes, you trying to poison me?" Kara asked glad for the distraction of the terrible wine.

"I used to hate it too. Mom gives it to us at parties cause we can't have the real stuff. Drink it again, it'll start to taste better." He promises. By the time Kara finishes her cup, she has to admit that it's not too bad.

"You read that poster by the gym door about the dance on Friday?" Lee asks through a mouthful of bread and fish. Kara stiffens beside him and her hands start to hurt as they cramp with nervous tension.

"No." She lies. "You going? I'd pay money to see you shake your ass on the dance floor." Her tone is glib and snarky, hoping he isn't going to ask what she thinks he's going to ask.

"Kelly McGrath asked me." Lee tells her.

Kara's chest tightens painfully. She's disappointed when she should be relieved."Congratulations. She finally noticed you're alive." It hurts her throat to speak.

Lee picks up a green apple. He likes those better than red so Kara made sure she picked a lot of them off Travis Dorsey's trees. It just makes sense seeing as she lives next to the trees that grow them and he doesn't. He rolls the apple along the knobby bump of his knee then lifts it and takes a bite.

"I turned her down." Lee says, the apple juice reddening his lips as he again, glances at her and then away.

Something funny happens inside Kara's chest, and for a second she can't breathe.

"You should come. It might be cool." Lee says with a shrug. "Where's the soda?" He asks nonchalantly turning his attention the basket next to him.

"We drank it already." Kara replies, the words coming out of her mouth without conscious thought. Frak, what's wrong with her? She's acting as moony as Lee has been lately.

"So you coming?" Lee asked pulling out another bottle. His cheeks are sort of flushed pink and Kara wonders if it's because of the warmth of the sun or if Lee's blushing.

"Huh? Where?" Kara asked, blinking, wanting to somehow dive into the basket and hide.

"The dance, dummy."

"Sorry, gown is at the cleaners." She cracks, her eyes burning. For some ridiculous reason, she wants to cry.

"You're hilarious." Lee says, rolling his eyes. He leans back and lays himself flat on the warm grass. Kara has to crane her neck to look at his face. She decides to lay herself next to him and thinks that the sky ain't nearly as blue as his eyes, then mentally admonishes herself for such a girly thought.

"It's a school dance. You don't have to wear a dress." Lee points out. Kara swallows nervously.

"Forget it, Blue Eyes. I don't dance." Kara snaps, the words sharper than she means them.

"I could teach you." Lee offers quietly and the warm bubble in her stomach gets wider.

*

Lee is a good teacher. He teaches her how to simply shuffle her feet back and forth in time to the music and he tells her that she is a good dancer.

When he holds her hand as they walk into the crowded gym, it's clammy against her skin and she doesn't know if it's his nervousness or her own. She does know that her heart is pounding excitedly in her chest because Lee has told her that she looks nice. Kara is wearing her nicest jeans and a pink tank top with a trim of white lace that she stole from the mall a few years back. The gym is dark but Kara knows that everyone is looking at them and they're all gonna make fun of her tomorrow and she'll probably have to knock out a few teeth.

But as Lee holds her waist and she wraps her arm around his neck, Kara doesn't care. At the end of the night, Lee walks her half way home and tells her he's glad that she decided to come even though he knows it's not her thing and stops for a moment. Kara wonders if he's going to kiss her.Lee leans his head in slightly towards her. He doesn't, because that idiot Stephenson's dog starts barking, startling them both. Kara finds herself wondering what it would feel like if he did.

Kara floats the rest of the way home.

Part Three

After the dance, their relationship has changed, and yet nothing has changed at all. They still talk, goof around, study together, eat lunch together and share their dreams. Yet now things are more charged between them. Every glance is held a little bit longer. Her arms hold him a little bit tighter when he gives her rides on his bike. When they sit up in his room, watching the latest pyramid games on TV, Lee finds his his chest tightening at the knowledge that Kara is laying on his bed.
And then there are the dreams. The dreams that Lee doesn't share with Kara because he's afraid he only imagines that she's feeling the changes between them as well. It would kill him to have Kara laugh at him for those dreams, and so Lee keeps silent about them. But lords, he wakes up almost every morning having to change the sheets.

He never had dreams like that about Kelly McGrath.

Hot, soft, tight dreams where Kara is underneath him, on top of him, in front of him, naked and arching, wrapped around him and pulsing around his cock. He can smell her, taste her. Lee has an extensive catalogue of fantasies and they all seem to star his very best friend, much to his humiliation.

He tells himself that any day now, he'll snap out of it. He tries to rationalize it by blaming his throbbing body on developing hormones, and it makes him feel better sometimes, to know that there will be a day when he won't want to frak his best friend's brains out.

Lee spends a lot of his time studying the women in the magazines under his mattress. Lately, he finds them lacking because they don't look like her. Sometimes he can fool himself into thinking the blonde ones could be Kara when she gets older, but the spark is missing in those women's eyes. The curves of their lips are not quite right when they smile.

Sometimes, Lee feels like a pervert for entertaining these thoughts. He can't help wondering if he'd had the nerve to kiss her the night of the dance, if she would have kissed him back. Sometimes Lee thinks yes. Other times, Lee is sure Kara would have socked him in the jaw, then kicked him in the balls for good measure.

He catches her looking at him sometimes when she thinks he's distracted, like now. Her gaze is warm and curious on him and Lee is glad that he's laying on his stomach so that she can't see how hard he's getting.

Lee damns his fair skin when she asks, "Are you okay? You look kinda flushed."

She leans in close and her bare arm brushes against his arm and Lee thinks he's gonna come right there.

"Nah." He manages to choke out somehow. "Just a bit warm in here." He lies.

"Hmm. I actually think it's a bit cold. Where's your sweater?" Kara looks over the end of the bed for his Caprica Cougars sweater.

"Oh, it's over by the books." Lee spots it over by the door. He gets up without thinking and when he turns back to Kara, she looks down and her own cheeks color and for a second, Lee can't figure out why. Then he knows and wants to die. He tosses the sweater at her and while she pulls it over her head to put it on, Lee rushes to the bed and lies on his stomach again, keeping his embarrassment out of sight and praying to every God he knows that she will not tease him about this. He keeps his eyes focused on the TV screen and doesn't dare look at her. The air is uncomfortable now and Lee once again curses his hormones.

"That must suck." Kara says suddenly after a long thick silence. Lee doesn't ask what she means. "It's one of the things that make me glad I'm a girl, and there aren't many of those."

Lee greets her comments with silence, hoping she'll get the hint and shut her trap. Of course, she doesn't.

"Relax, Blue Eyes. It's no biggie. Oh!" Then Kara starts to giggle at her unintentional joke.

Lee narrows his eyes at her. That's Kara for you. She gets her amusement from his discomfort.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Kara says but she's stifling giggles into Lee's pillow and Lee knows that it's been clutched by her for so long that it's gonna smell like her when he's trying to sleep later.

"I'm glad you think it's funny." Lee scowls. Kara manages to gather her control by taking deep breaths but Lee can see that she's on the verge of erupting again. Before she can laugh in his face again Lee does the only thing he can think of at the moment to stop her teasing. Her eyes widen when his mouth crushes hers and for a second their both staring at each other in surprise, mouths fused together. It's not so much a kiss as a meeting of lips and teeth and Lee pulls back, horrified at his stupidity. Hormones! Evil, evil hormones! Lee's mind is screaming. Kara's mouth is slightly wet and her cheeks are bright red and splotchy. Her eyes are wide as saucers.

Then she's grabbing the back of his head and drawing his mouth back to hers. Lee's whole body swells with full warm heat and he digs a hand into her hair. This time, there's lips, teeth and tongue. It feels awkward, wet and strange. Then not so much anymore. Kara rolls onto her back but holds Lee close so their mouths never break contact. Her small breasts are crushed beneath his chest and Lee is dying to touch her all over. She tastes like grape popsicles, her favorite ones. Lee makes sure the fridge is always stocked with them. His hands can't settle on one place because he wants to learn all about every inch of her skin. This girl, who he knows better than anyone, and yet not at all.

Every fantasy he's ever had is playing in fast forward in his head and Lee finds himself grinding his hips into the mattress while his hands reach under Kara's top to stroke her stomach. Kara physically starts at the contact and emits a sound he's never, ever heard her make. It's somwhere between a whimper, a sigh and a grunt. Then his hand is there a mere breath away from cupping her breast and all he needs is either an assent, or a lift of her knee between his legs. Logically, Lee knows her knees are no where near his crotch but he knows Kara can be pretty resourceful when she wants to be. Lee feels her hand move from the back of his neck to his chest and then lower. Lee shifts a bit, lifting his hips, hoping she isn't headed where he thinks she is and it's not for what he thinks it's gonna be.

She is, and it's not.

Lee holds his breath when Kara's hand covers the bulge between his legs. He sucks in his breath and tries not to hump her hand. He searches out the waistband of her jeans and tries to get them open, all the while with logic screaming that this was the worst possible thing he could be doing at the worst possible time. Then in what will undoubtedly go down as the most humilating experience of Lee Adama's life, he comes against his best friend's hand in a rush of wet warmth that soaks through his shorts. His body is bucking greedily, unheeding of the mortification surging through his mind.
Kara's mouth breaks from his with a gasp of surprise and her hand slides out from between their bodies. He can hear her wiping her hand on his blanket.

When the rockets stop going off in through his blood, Lee's head fall's forward, next to Kara's shoulder.He cannot look at her. He cannot. His breathing is ragged and for a horrible moment, Lee fears he will add bursting into tears to his shame.
"Lee, it's-" He hears her speak.

"I'm sorry." Lee mumbles into his bed, hoping she will somehow just disappear. He feels filthy. And guilty. Gods, how could he do that to her! He just wants her to go away so he can shower and forget this ever happened. He tries to come up with something gentle and nice to say so that she'll know he's not mad at her but still wants to be alone. When he dares to look up, Kara looks horrified at him. Lee feels a terrible sickening lurch in his stomach and fears he's about to throw up. She looks as if he's just betrayed her. Of course he has. In the very worst way. Unable to stand the hurt look in her eyes anymore, Lee slides off the bed and bolts out of the room.

He locks himself in the bathroom and she is gone when he comes out.

Part Four

She forgets to wash her hand.

Karen Thrace is adamant that she wants her daughter nowhere near those 'think -their-shit-don't-stink-Adamas' but Kara refuses to give up the one bright spot in her life. She clutches on to this one rebellion with a ferocity that her 15 mind doesn't fully comprehend. So she slips out when her mother is in one of her drink induced stupors, or she comes up with lies to explain why she's late from school. Depending on how lucid her mother is at the time, this sometimes works, sometimes results in a black eye , brusied body and split lip.

Yet Kara continues to hang on to the tiny bit of happiness she's been able to carve out for herself. Anything is worth how Lee Adama makes her feel.

Sure it was girly and stupid to have these butterflies over a guy she's seen pick his nose, scratch himself, and pee the alphabet in the sand just because she dared him to.

She doesn't know where these feelings came from. But she likes them. A lot.

One minute, they're whizzing strawberry wine out their mouths down at unsuspecting shoppers at the mall. The next minute she's practically giving him a handjob through his shorts.

Kara knows they must have skipped a step somewhere.

And then he apologizes. Stupid frakker. Her best friend in the whole world reminds her with those two simple words why no one will ever want Kara Thrace. She'll never be good enough. Convenient enough if you're horny but nothing special.
She'd kissed him back, showing him that she likes him too. He uses her as a scratching post and then runs off as if she has the plague.

Her mother must have smelt Lee on her skin cause her eyes go dark and angry when Kara comes into the house that will never be a home. When Kara passes her on the way to her room Karen blocks her way and asks Kara where she's been. Kara's stomach flutters with panic and she stammers.

"N...nowhere. T...t...took the long way h...home."

Only Lee knows that Kara stammers when she's frightened. And Kara only gets frightened with her mother.

Karen Thrace sniffs the air around her daughter and then backhands the fifteen year old girl into the wall. "Whore!" Kara hears through a haze of pain. She struggles to her feet, only to have her mother grab her by the hair and press her face against the wall. "Rolling around in the gutter, huh? Spreading you legs already? You stupid bitch!" Another smack and Kara fallls face first into a stack of old magazines in the corner of the room. The carpet smells of dirt and beer.

"Was it that Adama boy? Was it?" Her mother asks towering over Kara as the girl blinks back sweat, tears and hatred.

"Nah. It was Zeus." Kara jokes through a mouthful of blood. That's another thing she doesn't understand about herself. She can be trembling with fear, her blood ice cold in her veins and yet she goads her mother further. She's rewarded with another slap and a kick to the gut for fun.

"Don't you mock the Gods, you little slut." And on it goes for about twenty minutes.

When Karen's parental lecture is finally concluded, she falls into the chair in front of the Tv with only four channels because nobody pays the cable bill.

Kara drops onto her bed, every muscle in agony, her face on fire and cries herself to sleep.

She's stays home for a week. It wouldn't do to have the school call social services because Kara Thrace looks like she was run over by a truck. Kara doesn't try and sneak out. She doesn't want anyone to see her, especially Lee who suspects, but never asks. Especially Lee who she's aching to kiss again. Especially Lee who would rather hide in the bathroom than look at her again.

Kara is drawing pictures in her room. More of them are beginning to have Lee's face. He's never seen these and it's better that way. She suddenly hears a commotion outside her small room and what sounds like Caroline Adama's voice.
She opens her door and pokes her head out. She sees Lee's face. Her heart does that funny squeeze thing in her chest that's been a lot happening lately. Lee spots her and walks towards her.

"Kara, geez! What did she do to you?" Lee asks, his eyes roaming over her. Caroline Adama looks at Kara and the woman's eyes widen in horror. Kara's stomach clenches guiltily because no one is ever supposed to know. Before Kara can even come up with a believable excuse for why she's all bruised and scratched, Caroline Adama, who never even yells when Zak switches the bad milk with the good, is shoving Karen Thrace up against the wall.

"You miserable bitch." Caroline hisses into the other woman's face and both Kara and Lee are staring at his mother in surprise. "I suspected something like this but, my Gods woman. How could you?"

"Who are you to tell me how to raise my child? You look down your nose at me. The little whore deserved it, running around like a common tramp. How many times has your golden boy had her on her back huh?" Karen sneers through a haze of alcohol. Caroline looks over at Lee who's cheeks are two bright spots of red and then pulls then pushes Karen Thrace against the wall again.

"You will be silent!" When Karen's eyes widen, but she makes no comment, Caroline goes on. " Kara, honey, I want you to go with Lee and wait in my car, okay? This is gonna end right now. You will not harm another hair on that precious child's head. Lee, hand me the phone."

"No!" Kara cries rushing past Lee towards the two women. "No, Mrs A. Please! It was nothing, really. It was my fault. I was hanging out with Lee when I should have been at home. My mom was just worried about me, I promise. Please don't call anyone." the young girl pleads pulling Caroline Adama away from her mother. Blind fear making the tears roll down her face. They'll take her mother away, and then send Kara to a home somewhere and she'll never get to see Lee or his family again and Kara can't imagine anything worse than that. If getting knocked around sometimes is the price she has to pay, then that's not so bad.

"There, see. She told you, herself. I love my baby. She just has to learn not to worry me so-"

"Shut up, you sick woman." Caroline demands angrily. "Kara. Your mother hurting you like this is not right. I'm gonna call some people who'll make sure she gets help and never hurts you again. You understand?" Caroline asks, her voice softer now as she pleads with Kara to help her stop this. Kara shakes her head but says nothing, her tears dripping off her face and stinging the scratches that haven't yet healed. "Lee. The phone." Caroline holds out her hand.

"Lee, please. They'll take me away. Don't make them send me away." Kara throws her arms around her best friend to stop him and is shaking as he holds her.

"Kara. Do you want her to keep hurting you?" Lee asks, stroking her hair. It feels so good and he smells so good and right that she never wants him to let go.

"Please." She murmurs into his chest, letting his scent wash over her like a cloak of protection.

"Come on, Kara. Look at me. Look." Lee pulls away and cups her face with his hands. His eyes are taking in her bruises and she can see the glistening of tears beginning in his eyes. "We'll figure something out, okay? We're friends, right? The best? You trust me?" Lee asks her and Kara knows she'll follow this boy to ends of the earth. "I won't let anybody split us up, okay?"

"Ah that's right, sweet talk her. Kara honey, trust me. It's all sweet words and empty promises. Then when he gets out from between your legs, he'll leave skid marks on his way out the door. Course, it's nothing more than a slut like you deserves. Ain't nobody gonna stick around for you, baby. Not your daddy, not golden boy over there. Only me is all you got." Karen Thrace taunted smiling at her daughter.

"You shut up, you evil woman. You don't deserve to be her mom. Even though we're just kids I know that Kara is a hundred times the woman you are. You're nothing but a drunk. Too stupid to see this special girl." Lee hisses at her.
Kara stares at him and sees her knight in shining armour. Her defender. And how she loves him! Kara pulls out of Lee's arms and walks towards the phone. She picks up the receiver and hands it to Caroline Adama.

The two of them wait in Caroline Adama's car. Now that they're alone, Kara is unsure of what to say to him.
"At first I thought you were mad at me. Then I got worried when you didn't show up for school all week." Lee says quietly staring down at his lap.

Kara looks at him in surprise."You're the one who practically ran away screaming." She accuses.

"I was saving you the trouble of punching my lights out." Lee shrugs.

Kara's mouth curves in a grin and she can't help teasing him a little. "Unless you forgot, my hands were kinda busy."
Again, he cheeks flush with color and Kara thinks he's the most beautiful thing in the world.
"You're an idiot." Kara says with a small smile.

"Thanks." Lee says rolling his eyes.

"You're clueless." She says shaking her head and smiles again cause it feels so good to do so, even though her split lip is hurting like hell.

"Uh huh." Lee leans back against the seat and stare up. "So you're not mad at me?" His blue eyes shift over to watch her hesitantly.

"Are you sorry you did it?" Kara asks him. She's holding her breath and praying with all her might to her mother's Gods that he says no. That he wanted to do it. Wanted her.

"If I say no, can we still be friends?" Lee asks and he's picking at the skin around his fingernails.

"We might have been able to still be just friends. But not anymore." Kara leans over and she almost laughs at the look of utter disappointment in his face.

"Oh." Lee whispers and he sounds so broken that Kara wants to scream with joy.

"You wanna know why?" Kara asks. Lee blinks with surprise when he sees how close she is to him. Her mouth a mere breath from his.

"Hmm?" Lee asks.

"Cause, I kissed you back." Kara reminds him.

Then Lee is smiling too and lifts up his mouth to meet hers.

Part Five

By the time they are seventeen, they are LeeandKara. One entity. Connected limbs on one body.

Nobody gets it. He's the son of one of the greatest war heroes of the last generation and she's that girl. What on earth could he possibly see in her?

If Kara had no girl friends before, there will certainly be no hope of any now. Lee feels bad about that, but she assures him she doesn't care. They all hate her for taking golden boy, Lee Adama out of circulation.

She's the bad influence, they think. Not knowing that it's Lee who convinces her to cover the principal's office with toilet paper and toothpaste, because the old fart told Kara she wouldn't fit in with the advanced math class she needs to follow Lee into flight school next year.

It's Lee who starts the rumour that Betsy Hallaway is a lesbian after she calls Kara a whore.

It' s Lee who pulls the fire alarms when Kara's science teacher won't let her leave early when she's really sick.

It's Lee who makes her blush really pretty by sneaking in kisses when she opens her locker door to hide them from prying eyes.

It's Lee who sneaks in a hand under her top when they're supposed to be concentrating on the educational film in class.

It's Lee who convinces Kara to cut class so they can drive out to the lake so he can do delicious things to her with his mouth.

It's Lee who sneaks into her bedroom at night to bring them both to the brink and begs her to let him go further.

Kara holds him off. She's not ready. When the blood makes it's return journey up into his brain, Lee can respect that.

She actually lives closer to him now that she's severed all legal ties to her mother. Karen Thrace is still living outside of the city, in their old house, having only served 1 month for beating Kara all her life.

Kara has a part time job helping Jackson Greeley repair planes and he rents her a room above the mechanic's shop. He's been giving Lee flying lessons when his father is too busy, which is always.

She doesn't talk about her mother anymore, but she smiles more and Lee loves to watch Kara smile.

He holds her close as they sit on the school ground eating lunch and talks about taking her up with him the first time he flies on his own. Lee loves to fly almost as much as he loves Kara.

It's the only thing that makes his father love him anymore.

Lee's parents are divorced because his family can't compete with William Adama's love for the military.

Lee promises himself that the rush he gets when his father takes him up in his plane will never be more important than Kara. That he will never choose a hunk of metal over those he loves like his father has.

Kara doesn't know much about Lee's father except what she hears in the context of heroic tales and that Lee no longer idolizes him. Lee loves that. Loves that Kara is this beautiful separate thing, away from his parents shouting matches and Zak's crying because the younger boy doesn't get why they can't just be like other families and live together.

He sees his father even less now and Lee knows Kara sees the hardness in his eyes when he talks about the old man. She's supposed to be the cynical, angry one.

Now, when Lee talks about flying, he means escape. He means punishment. It's the only way he knows to hurt his father. To fly higher, faster, better. He will be better than his father, the great William Adama. They will write heroic stuff about him someday, Lee vows. "Oh, Will Adama? That's Lee Adama's dad, right?"

Then maybe his father will come back. Maybe Lee can makes himself good enough to make everything right again.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Lee knows nothing he does will bring his dad back, but the little boy in him refuses to let go.

Nothing makes sense anymore.

Except for Kara.

Lee tightens his hold on her and whispers, "Love you," in her ear. Kara jumps slightly in his arms and from his position behind her he can see the tips of her ears turn pink. She turns slightly and presses a soft kiss to his lips. She tastes like spicy ham and cheese, and smells like oranges.

Her hair is longer now, down to her shoulders and Lee wonders if she keeps it that way for him. He told her once that it looked really nice when she first started growing it out and she hasn't cut it since.

When he kisses her, he likes to bring her hair around in his hands to cup her face.

When she takes him in her mouth, he loves the slinky feeling of her hair against his thighs. Sense memory gets him hard and Kara notices, playfully elbowing him.

"Concentrate, Blue Eyes." Kara insists and repeats the problem in the textbook. She leans forward and writes her answer in her notebook. Lee is concentrating. But his concentration is on the curve of her back. The brush of blonde hair swept over her shoulder, baring the nape of her neck to him in unconscious invitation. The peek of pink underwear in the gap of her jeans made by her bent position.

Lee looks around, to make sure that nobody's eyes are on them, and then runs a finger along the exposed skin of her lower back. Kara straightens and he feels the shiver beneath her skin.

"Lee..." Kara whispers in warning.

"Let's go somewhere else." He murmurs, unable to resist placing a kiss on the back of her neck.

"We...mmm...can't." Kara pleads half-heartedly. "Leeeeee." His hand trails down the back of her jeans.

"Kaaaarrraaa." He mocks, his breath hot in her ear. "Just for a few minutes, come onnnn."

"Gods, I knew it was a bad idea to make out with you that first time. Is that all you think about?" Kara turns and pokes him in the stomach. He lets out a soft laugh and curls inward, grasping her hand.

"Weren't you there for that lecture in health class? That's all we EVER think about." Lee is no longer even trying to hide his groping and nuzzles her neck while reaching underneath her top

"Gods, get a room." A voice sneers walking past them. Looking up, Lee sees it's Kelly McGrath with her clique of vapid bimbos and he has to laugh out loud at the irony. What had he ever seen in that little twit?

"Oh Gods, Lee. We're that couple." Kara groans, in embarrassment, burying her face in his chest while she's giggling. Feeling her shake against him is making him harder still.

"She did have a good point though. Let's get a room, hmmm?" Lee says with a grin.

"You haven't finished eating." Kara points out, referring to the half eaten burger.

Lee's grin widens and he wiggles his eyebrows at her.

"You're such a perv." Kara groans but she's getting to her feet.

The janitor closet is too cluttered today so they sneak into the school's supply closet, behind the rows of old history books that no one uses anymore. They are stifling giggles and groans as pants are unbuttoned and hands meet hot, wet flesh.

"Shit." Lee groans when Kara's fingers encircle him. "There...yeah...Gods..." He whispers against her forehead, thrusting into her hand. He eases one finger deep inside of her, timing his movements with the back and forth of her hand on his swollen shaft. Kara's hips are rolling fast against his hand and her face is buried in his neck. Soft whimpers are coming from her throat and Lee swells with the knowledge that he's the only one who gets to hear those sounds.

"Lee...Lee..." She whispers, his name hot exhalations from her mouth against his throat. He feels her tighten around his thrusting fingers and watches her stifle her cry by biting into his shoulder. Her response sends Lee over the edge and he warns her that he's gonna come soon. "Shit...we don't have anything to..." His quick thinking girlfriend lowers herself to her knees to catch his explosion in her mouth. Gods how he loves her, Lee thinks and then everything goes white behind his eyes when the heat of her lips surround him and he's shooting his release into her mouth.

Then Lee is down on his knees and playing Kara in kind with his tongue. Deep, wet strokes up inside of her while she's still shaking. Gods, someday soon it'll be his cock up inside of her, Lee prays. He mimics with his tongue what he's going to do to her, the taste of her flooding his mouth and searing itself into his very blood. He will never forget how she tastes, how she sounds. How her fingers feel tight and begging in his hair. He looks up and can see Kara biting into the corner of one of the books while her body arches in orgasm and she tries not to scream.

She's always shy and quiet afterwards. Lee finds that funny. Kara could be screaming his name, writhing against his mouth or hand and always, she's silent as they adjust their clothing.

"You wanna come over after school?" Kara asks as they head back to class.

"Sure. We can study for that physics exam next week." Lee says with a nod.

"Jackson's gone to Atwood for parts." She tells him, her voice soft and hesitant and...something Lee can't quite make out. Lee looks up from his position on the floor, stuffing the next class's books into his book bag and sees it there in her eyes. Promise. Invitation. His cock jumps once again in his pants.

"Oh. Sure." Lee swallows hard and his voice breaks again for the first time in 3 years.

"So we'll be alone. You could...um...stay later than usual...if you want." Kara offers playing with the strap of her pack.

"Yeah?" Lee asks, hoarsely trying not to throw down his bag and run screaming up and down the hall that he was finally gonna get to frak his girlfriend.

Kara nods.

Chapter Six

Lee stares at the unrolled condom as it sways in front of his eyes. Then looks down at his groin, then back at the condom. His face breaks into a slow smile and he lets out a triumphant giggle. He's pretty sure he can manage to get it on and then off with minimal embarrassment. Lords know he's practiced enough.

"I'll be seeing you later." Lee sings to the fresh packet before pocketing it. He grabs a second one for insurance. A surge of testosterone fuelled ego makes him grab a third. "Why not?" He asks his image in the mirror.

An insistent knock on the door makes Lee nearly jump out of his skin.

"Come on, Lee. I gotta go!" Fourteen year old Zak pleads on the other side..

"Yeah, yeah, keep your pants on." Lee shoots back, taking a last minute inventory.

Deodorant. Check.

Freshly ironed shirt. Check, thanks to mom.

Best pair of boxers. Check.

Virginity. Check. "But not after tonight." Lee adds sticking his tongue out at his mirrored face.

"You have to be gentle, but not too gentle." His mother had told him in a lecture he only remembers in bits and pieces as he was too mortified to think beyond 'Gods, kill me now'

"Chances are she won't like it as much the first time" Lee remembers as he drives to Greeleys Garage. Hell, she will if he has anything to say about it. Lee is not one to back down from doing a good job and he sure as hell isn't gonna be lazy about something so important.

"Let things go at her pace. If she tells you to stop, you put the brakes on."

Of course, Lee thinks, swallowing hard.

"Read her body language. You'll know when she's ready." Well, that much he knew already.

"Pay attention to all of her. Not just the most obvious places." Something about the way Caroline Adama had said 'her' made Lee wonder if Caroline was referencing Kara as a sort of inevitable fact.

"She's gonna be just as scared as you are." Lee doesn't think that's possible. His fingers tighten on the steering wheel.

"It's not a race. Take your time." Gods, he hopes he can, Lee thinks with a shiver. He's wanted this for so long...ever since he first noticed Kara had grown breasts when he wasn't looking.

They'd been playing a pick up game of Pyramid in his backyard. When Lee reached to get the ball off of her, his hands had come around her chest and accidentally brushed her breasts, which he swears, had NOT been there earlier in the day.

"Talk to each other, during. Make sure she's okay with what you're doing and make sure to tell her when she does something you like."

EVERYTHING! Lee wants to scream.

"Make sure you trust and love each other before your clothes come off."

Well, duh. Lee can hardly remember not loving Kara Thrace, and he's pretty certain she feels the same. Though she's never actually said it. That's just Kara's way though. She doesn't talk about how she feels. She just shows him.

Boy! Does she ever, Lee remembers the heat of her mouth wrapped around him. The first time she'd done that had actually been in this very car. Lee stiffens in delicious memory.

"And so help me if you don't use a condom I will personally take a butcher knife to you and guess what I'll lop off, sweet child of mine?"

His mother had a bit of a violent streak. Lee thinks sourly. As if he'd ever been dumb enough not to use a rubber.

There'd been more about what to expect and how to do what. Lee didn't have the heart to tell his mom that kids these days were a bit more educated about that stuff. So he let her go on. Heck, he was surprised that SHE knew some of the stuff she mentioned. Until he hit his teens he was convinced that his mom had only ever had sex twice.

The fact that his mom has engaged in what he is about to engage in is too much for Lee to handle, so he shakes off that little bit of knowledge.

When he finally pulls up to Greeley's garage he sits in the car for a few minutes, gathering his courage. Shit, he's shaking like a damn...well...virgin, he thinks appropriately. He's done this with her so many times in his mind but what if he completely spazzes out in reality. What if he's so nervous he doesn't know what to do? OH MY GODS! WHAT IF I CAN"T GET IT UP! Lee leans his head against the steering wheel and takes a few deep, shaky breaths and tries not to throw up. The image of naked Kara comes into his head and he hardens almost immediately. A gift from the gods. There will be no problem on that score. "Thanks." Lee offers with heartfelt gratitude.

"Okay, get a grip, Adama. You can do this. You want to do this. Boy, do you wanna do this!" Lee is practically bursting with the urge. "Just remember everything you know." He forces himself to get out of the car and go around the back to the stairs that lead up to Kara's room.

Gods, she's beautiful, Lee thinks when she opens the door with a nervous smile. She's probably more scared than you are. He reminds himself, taking in her freshly washed her hair and sweet, soapy smell. Her hair is slightly darker at the ends where it's still damp and Lee can't resist taking a few strands between his fingers. Kara starts at the gesture and leans in to brush a soft kiss on Lee's lips.

"I clean up good sometimes, huh?" Kara asks, and despite her glib tone, Lee notices the slight quiver in her voice. She's wearing a long jean skirt, and her feet are bare with what looks like clear polish cause her toenails look kind of shiny. Her shirt is simply a white tank top. Simple and beautiful. That was Kara.

"Yep." Lee replies, his throat swollen.

"You hungry?" Kara asks turning from him and pulling out a paper bag. Lee almost whimpers.

Hell yes. But not for food!

She pulls out white cartons of Chinese food. She taught him to use chopsticks last year which led to a hilarious mess and ended with her taking him into her hand for the very first time.

Kara leans across him to switch on the TV and Lee watches the way the skirt stretches across her bottom. She's evil. Lee thinks taking his seat on the carpet next to her. He looks over to his right and sees her bed. When his gaze swings forward again, Kara is watching him. He blushes, feeling as if he's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Kara's cheeks are slightly flushed as well and she gives him a small smile. Pulling out the thick physics textbook, she drops it on to his lap.

"Down boy." She says with a wink. "We'll worry about this head for the moment." She taps his temple and laughs. Lee feels his nerves beginning to ease and lets out a giggle as well.

He should get some kind of award, really. Lee thinks watching her chew the end of her pencil as they finish up the last question. He's managed to consume a meal and finish homework all with this exuberant voice beating a rhythm in the back of his mind. Gonnagetlaidtoday. Gonnagetlaidtoday. Gonnagetlaidtoday!

"So..." Kara says closing the book.

"So..." Lee echoes.

"Did you...uh...bring, ya know?" Kara asks getting to her feet.

"Uh huh." Lee says with a nod following her up and wishing he didn't sound like such doofus.

"Good. Okay." Kara bites her thumbnail and looks at her bed. "So, you wanna...um...now?"

Lee takes a deep breath and tries not to tackle his girlfriend onto the mattress.

"You know, Kara. If you're too nervous or not ready, we can hold off. Yannowedon'thavetodothistoday." WHAT? Lee asks his brain.

"You don't want to?" Kara asks and the disappointment on her face nearly makes him come in his pants.

"No! I mean, yes, I do. I was only worried that maybe your were too nervous or changed your mind." He assures her.

"Oh." Kara says and she gives him a bright smile and crosses her arms around his neck. "When you get all considerate like that, Adama. It makes me wanna jump you even more." She confesses and presses herself against him while meeting his mouth.

Gentlemen...start your engines! Lee thinks as his entire body surges upward. He tries to pace himself, clenching his fists at his sides, afraid if he touches any part of Kara he'll grab her and frak her before they even get their clothes off.

Speaking of which...

As he strokes Kara's tongue with his own, she's pulling his shirt up out of the waistband of his pants.

"Hmmm, you smell nice." She admits unbuttoning his crisp white shirt. Lee runs his lips along her jaw line, upwards to the curve of her ear. Kara's trembling against him and her fingers are fumbling on the buttons.

"Gods...Kara..." Lee murmurs in her ear when her hands run underneath his white undershirt along the soft skin of his stomach. Her fingers are warm. When she finally gets his shirt off, leaving just the white undershirt, Kara reaches up to run her mouth along his throat.

"Lee...I...do you think..."

"Right now? Not so much." Lee admitted, licking his lips and capturing her mouth again. He finally allows his hands to touch her. They skim along her back and vibrate with the feel of Kara's soft laugh.

"Is it like this...with other people?" Kara asks. Her eyes wide and steady and she doesn't have to explain what she means. Lee knows. Do others feel this all consuming feeling in their blood just from looking at each other? Do their hearts feel like their going to explode out of their chests with every touch? Every kiss? Do they look at each other and just know what the other is thinking? Are other couples so much a part of each other that one half is incomplete without the other? The thought makes him a little uneasy, but right now, everything feels too good for him to care.

"I don't know." Lee admits, undoing the few buttons at the top of her skirt.

"Ah, who wants to be normal anyway." Kara says pulling his undershirt up over his head.

Lee threads his fingers into her hair, cradling the back of her head as his mouth moves with hers. Gods, he could just keep kissing her until they ran out of air and still want to kiss her some more.

She pulls him forward with her towards the bed. He kneels before her as she sits on the edge of the bed and he breaks away just long enough to pull off her top. Her bra is pretty, he notices absently. White with a tiny satin daisy with a white pearl in the centre. He lowers one strap and runs his lips along the curve of her shoulder. Kara shifts her hips and pulls her skirt off from underneath her.

Running his mouth along her collar bone, Lee looks down and sees that her panties match her bra. He can't help smile at her planning. The skin of her legs is smooth and smells lightly of vanilla.

He remembers getting her the body lotion for her birthday last year after she said it was her favourite scent. Lee runs a finger along the waist band of her panties and Kara's skin jumps slightly.

"If you want me to stop, just say the word, 'kay?" Lee insists. Kara nods and lets her fingers roam along his chest.

"You remember those statues of the Gods we saw on the trip to the museum last year?" She asks. Lee nods, not trusting himself to speak as her hands run along his skin, leaving trails of heat everywhere.

"That's what you remind me of right now." Kara admits. "One of those statues." She raises her fingers up into his hair. Lee feels his cheeks warm at her praise and is glad he's outgrown his lanky skinny, awkward phase.

Lee dips a finger past her panties and Kara catches her lower lip between her teeth and her eyes flutter closed.

"How you look right now..." Lee says, pressing a finger against the swollen nub of flesh at her centre. He briefly catches her moan in his mouth before breaking away again. "I don't think you've ever looked more beautiful as when you're like this." He strokes his finger against the moisture between her legs. Up and down, slowly.

"Horny?" Kara asks breathlessly beginning to undulate her hips against his hand.

"Open." Lee corrects angling his hand to dip a finger inside of her. Kara whimpers and spreads her thighs wider.

When Lee pulls back, Kara's eyes flash at him but he merely smiles and motions for her to lift her hips. She rises and Lee pulls her panties down.

Kara sighs when Lee touches her again. She grips his shoulder and leans forward to bring his finger deeper.

"Ohhhh." She moans and Lee is ready to burst in his pants. "There...Lee...Ooooh." She's clutched tight and warm, all wet spongy tissue contracting around his finger as he strokes deep and steady. When he finally gets inside of her, Lee doesn't know how he's going to control himself. Lee recognizes the signs of her oncoming orgasm and debates whether to stop and torture her a bit, but his mother's words remind him that he should give her as much pleasure as possible before that moment when he finally pushes inside of her and hurts her. He slides his finger at a quicker pace and brings his thumb into play as well.

Kara shatters with his name on her lips and Lee is shaking with the effort of restraining himself. She arches back and shifts urgently against his hand and her head falls back. Lee can't resist lowering his mouth to one of her breast, taking a nipple into his mouth. Kara bows forward as Lee suckles her, playing his tongue along the small bit of hardened skin along with his teeth.

"Oh Gods, Lee...I...Mmmm." Kara murmurs caressing the back of his neck. "Let me touch you."

He rises to his feet and waits as she pulls his pants and boxers down. His erection springs free, nearly smacking her in the face and before he can apologize, her fingers are on him.

"Ahhh." Lee whimpers at her touch. His stomach tightens and his entire lower body fills with warmth. He feels her other hand reach behind and cup his balls, trailing a fingernail gently from one to the other as her other fingers tighten around his cock, pulling back and forth.

"Like that, Lee?" Kara asks looking up at him with a smile. Her cheeks are still flushed from her orgasm and again, Lee has to restrain himself from spreading her legs and just shoving into her.

"You're killing me..." Lee admits, afraid his legs are not gonna hold him up.

"Aww, my heart bleeds." She winks up at him and Lee cries out when she pulls his hips closer and takes him into her mouth.

Chapter Seven

Lee's heart is pounding through his cock as her mouth works thoroughly to drive him out of his mind. He does not want to come in her mouth this time. His eyes are clenched tight as he fights the urge to spill himself and tries to find his voice.

"Nghhhnhmm," is all he can get out.

Kara gets the message when he begins to push against her shoulder and lifts her mouth from him.

"Now...Gods, Kara...please..." He's pushing her back against the mattress and Kara is letting him.He stops a moment, sure he's forgetting something but his brain doesn't function all that well when it's lodged between his legs.

"The condom, Lee." Kara reminds him, looking up at him from the bed.

"Oh!" Lee starts. "Right." He looks around for his pants. Finding them, he digs into the pocket and pulls out one packet. His fingers are shaking badly as he tears open the foil with the single minded determination of one dismantling an atomic bomb. He's a little too eager when he pulls out the condom. The damn thing doesn't want to come free! Swearing, he gives a mighty pull and right before the plastic ring tears, he thinks maybe he shouldn't have pulled it so hard.

"Frak!" Then he digs into his pocket again to get another. The third falls out as well and Kara lifts her head and cocks an eyebrow.

Lee shrugs and blushes. "Always be prepared." He smiles.

Kara gets the condom on him when his fingers prove useless.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Lee knows that he should be using a little more finesse but all he knows is if he doesn't get inside of Kara RIGHT NOW he will die. He doesn't stop to question that assumption that one can die from restraining an orgasm. With his luck, he'll be the first.

He takes a moment to make sure she's still wet and ready. She is and Lee eases himself on top of her. Kara holds him close and spreads her thighs and then he's there, pushing, straining to get inside of her. Distantly, Lee is aware of Kara whimpering. She feels too tight, too small and Lee wonders if he's doing something wrong. He can't seem to get inside of her. He shifts his hips again.

"Ow...slow...ow...down!" Kara pleads and if anything, she tightens in resistance of his pressure.

"Can't." Lee murmurs and takes himself in hand to guide himself further in.

"Lee...it's...dammit." Kara moans as he pushes the head of his cock inside of her. "not gonna fit! I told you-Frak!" Kara buries her face in his neck when Lee finally inches more of him inside.

An inch of him is buried in complete tight, heat. Lee sucks in his breath and tries to slow down. He's torn between slowly easing further into her or pushing fast in one stroke to get it over with.

His dear mother forgot to mention this part.

His whole lower body feels swollen, heavy. When he grabs himself to ease in a bit more, his fingers brush his sac and he swears those feel bigger too. Instead of inflating his ego, Lee is worried. Kara is breathing shallowly against his chest and squirming beneath him. Her breathing is mingled with hisses of pain and Lee knows they must be doing something wrong. Maybe he got it in the wrong opening? Oh Gods! Lee pulls back slightly to check. Nope. Everything is where it's suppose to be.

"Just do it." Kara moans, tightening around his shaft in anticipation of more pain.

"Are you sure?" Lee asks hoarsely.

Kara reaches around to grab him by the ass and shove him further into her.

They both cry out, Lee in exquisite pleasure as his cock slides fully into her and his whole body is blanketed in her tight heat.

"Frak!" Kara hisses against. "Now...ohhhh. Don't...move." She pleads, her breath shaky as her arms come around his neck.

"Kara... I have to.." Lee gives into the urge to roll his hips and Kara stiffens beneath him. Oh Gods...this was...just...oh. Lee's body is on fire above her. She feels so frakking good clamped around him. Like a warm wet glove and all he wants to do is push, push, push and never stop. He thrusts again and closes his eyes as the shivers shoot up and down his back to settle at the base of his spine. Distantly, he feels Kara punch his shoulder.

"I said, don't move, dammit. It hurts." Kara says staring up at him angrily.

Her eyes flashing like that get him right in the groin and Lee apologizes before thrusting again.

He gets it now, where the term 'whipped' came from. He'd do anything at all to experience this again and again.

He uses every ounce of will power to hold himself still for a moment. Seconds later, Lee notices that her breathing has slowed. He studies her. Her face is still flushed and her hair is slightly damp against her face, but her features are no longer clenched in a grimace of pain.

"Are you okay?" He asks pressing a kiss to her forehead. Her breasts are brushing against him with each deep breath and he swallows as his body surges foreward into her again. A slight hiss from her mouth, but she catches her lower lip between her teeth and nods.

"I think so." Kara says. "Try now."

He pulls back, then forward once more. Surely he's doing something wrong here? Wasn't there supposed to be some sort of rhythm to this thing? Lee's very glad he can't see himself right now cause he's certain what he's doing right now, in no way emulates those skin flicks he watches late at night. The guys in the movies are smooth as they move. It's almost like dancing. Not like this jerky sort of back and forth and at no time are the women in the flicks hitting the guys and crying out in pain.

Lee is convinced that there is no way in hell that Kara is gonna want to do this again and the thought almost makes him lose his erection. He wishes he was better at this. Wishes it like he's never wished for anything in his whole life cause then it'd be better for Kara.

"Hmm, not so bad." Kara muses taking a deep breath. Lee feels a small glimmer of hope when she looks up at him. Oh please,please,please like this so we can do it again and again and again, he begs silently. "Hold still for a..." Kara rolls her hips slightly against him and Lee's hips snap hard in answer. She catches her breath but gives a moan that isn't all agony. "Okay...better." She nods licking her lips.

Lee leans down and kisses her, pushing deep into her once more. Kara catches his bottom lip in her teeth and sighs. "Mmm, kinda...good now..."

Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Lee praises the Gods and moves his lips down to run along Kara's damp neck. The scent of her drugs him and he sucks against her pulse while thrusting deep and right before he can ask her if she's all right again, his orgasm crashes through him without warning. He's bucking on top of her as his lower back goes into spastic mode and he's fascinated in a horrifying way with the manner in which his body is writhing completely on it's own. And then he can barely breathe as the nerves shoot through his body centering between his legs and surging back and forth. Sparks are going off through his blood and behind his eyes and nothing has ever felt this intense. Certainly not when he takes matters into his own hands. Coming inside of Kara is like being dipped in electricity and Lee is trembling to the roots of his hair. Everything goes blurry and Lee's feels a twinge of panic when he realizes he can't even really see Kara below him. She's more a faint, blonde, white silhouette. He feels like he'll never stop coming, and is certain he's gonna break the condom with how hard he's bucking.

He distantly hears Kara say something but can't quite make it out and then he drops against her when his body stops shooting off dynamite through his veins.

"Umm...wait. What? Are we done?" Kara's looking up at him in confused disappointment.

Lee lifts his head and tries to apologize for coming so fast and promise that it'll be better next time. But all he can manage is a grunt and his head drops back onto her breasts.

Chapter Eight

Did I shave my legs for this? Kara wonders, feeling Lee's weight on top of her. That part actually feels kind of nice, cause he's all warm and smells good, if sweaty. There's something about Lee all sweaty that turns Kara on. She turns her head and spots the clock on her night table. Well, that took all of five minutes. And she hurts everywhere. Especially there. She doesn't know what she was expecting. Maybe she's seen too many movies but wasn't there supposed to be fire crackers, and waves crashing and all that shit? Realistically, she knew it would hurt, but ow! Not exactly an earth shattering moment. Still, it was kind of funny watching Lee turn into a wibbling, incoherent mess of jerky-ness. Especially for a guy who always had to be in control.

She kind of likes that about him. How he's always steady and does the right thing and is organized to a fault. He knows where all her stuff is when she can never find anything.

Kara pokes at his shoulder. "You alive in there, Blue Eyes?" She asks with a snort.

"Hmm..." He mumbles. Kind of nice that she can render him incoherent like that. Sometimes, Lee talks too much.

He raises himself up slowly and meets her eyes. His face colours in embarrassment and Kara has to bite her lip not to laugh. "Geez, Kara...I..." She sees him struggling for the right words and takes pity on him. She strokes the side of his face and lifts her mouth to his.

"It was kinda nice there at the end." She admits. "The beginning was good too."

"Yeah?' He asks with a shy smile. Kara snorts. The guy had just been frakking her silly and now he was all shy?

"Sure, when I didn't feel like I was being split in two."

His face falls. "I'm sorry I hurt you." He says earnestly. He shifts some strands of hair back from her forehead and Kara's throat constricts and she feels like she's gonna cry.

"Don't sweat it. I kinda expected it." Kara replies, taking a deep breath to regain her composure.

"It'll be better next time. I promise. I just...hell, I don't know what happened." Lee shrugs, his face pink.

"So...it was good? I mean, you seemed to be enjoying yourself." Kara asks with a short laugh. "I wasn't too sure what I was supposed to be doing, and then I couldn't think about much beyond 'ow!' " She adds.

"Sorry." He says with a grimace.

"Stop apologizing, Lee. I'm not sorry, we got the first time out of the way. Now we can frak like bunnies, if we want." Kara reminds him with a wink. "But first, I need to clean up. I feel icky."

Lee laughs and rolls off of her. She slips out of bed and nearly drops to the floor when her legs buckle.

"You okay?" Lee asks extending his arms and smiling.

"I'm...ow...fine." Kara insists, walking and grimacing towards the bathroom.

When she comes back from the bathroom, Kara stops and stares at her naked boyfriend laying on the bed like a sacrificial offering to the Gods. Lords but he's beautiful, his body is rangy and lean. Like a panther about to spring. She can see the developing muscles in his arms and legs and imagines the God that he will grow into.

The sheets beneath him are now yellow instead of white.

"Dude, you made the bed?" She asks with a burst of laughter.

"Well, there was...well, a little blood. I thought you'd rather have fresh sheets when we did it again." Lee says and grins widely when she cocks an eyebrow at him. "What? You thought I was done with you?"

"You got yours, I thought that's all guys cared about." Kara teases.

He places a hand over his heart in mock indignation and Kara's eyes fall on his fingers, gentle, yet strong hands, long fingers. "You said so yourself, I'm not like other guys."

"Hmm, good point. Most other guys wouldn't be so anal as to change the bed sheets." She smiles as she makes his way back to the bed. "Am I walking weird? I feel like I'm walking weird." She grimaced at the dull throb between her legs as she moves.

"Kara, you're naked. Don't ask me questions when you're naked." He grabs her wrist and pulls her on top of him.

"I hope you don't think that just because we frakked that you get to boss me around now..."Kara tries to sound firm but his mouth is on her throat and he feels so damn warm beneath her, "cause you've got another thing coming if..." His hands are making their way along her waist to her spine. He presses his fingers in slightly along her lower back and Kara moans at the pleasurable sensation. " you think I'm just gonna...hmmm..."She shivers when his mouth runs along her chin up to capture her mouth. "You still got that other condom?" Kara asks pulling back and staring down at him. How bizarre was that? Her body still ached unpleasantly and yet she wanted him again. Cause she'd felt it. Towards the end there she'd felt the promise of something better just beyond her reach. Instinct tells her the worst is over and that something amazing is about to happen. It's Lee. And nothing bad ever lasts with him around.

He smiles up at her and flips her over so that she's now on her back again.

"I'm sorry, what were you trying to say? Something along the lines of 'I'm not the boss of you?' " He asks, his heated mouth dancing along her collar bone.

"I...uh...ohhhh." Kara murmurs when his mouth closes around a nipple. She arches beneath him and presses her hand to the back of his head to keep him there, but Lee has other plans for her. His lips trail down her stomach and he dips his tongue in her belly button, which usually makes her laugh but this time she shivers.

When his head is between her thighs, Lee looks up at her. "If it hurts, let me know."

Kara licks her lips and nods, desperate for the feel of his mouth on her. His lips are gentle against her sore skin. Soft butterly light kisses and Kara's eyes burn with tears. Her heart feels as if it's gonna burst from her chest with the fullness of her emotions. When his tongue darts out tentatively, Kara starts.

"Okay?" Lee asks. His blue eyes are soft, patient, loving.

She nods and cries out when his tongue presses a little more insistently. "Oh...Lee..." She sighs reaching down to caress his head. He's slow and careful when he eases his tongue inside of her. Kara's breath hitches at the slight sting of her still tender skin but the feeling is over whelmed by the fire of pure want throbbing inside of her. Kara rolls her hips in time with the movements of his mouth. His hands are on her thighs, but not restricting her as she writhes under him. Kara feels the delcious slow build begin inside of her. Lee shifts his body slightly and stops for only a second to grab the last condom and hold it while he brings her to orgasm.

"Shit!" Kara's body bows half off the bed but Lee keeps his mouth on her, driving in his tongue while Kara goes mindless with sensation. She grabs his hair, sure she's hurting him but Lee doesn't complain as she cries out his name and finally sags against the bed, breathless. Lee slides up along her body and kisses her.

"You seemed to be enjoying yourself there." He says reaching down to cup her between her legs. She's still throbbing.

Kara watches as he slips the condom on himself and then lays on his back beside her. For a second, Kara's confused.

"It might be better for you like this." Lee offers placing a finger under her chin and brings her mouth to his.

Lords, she never felt this weepy before. Sex has turned her into a total girl.

She runs a hand along his chest which is covered with fine hairs. He loves her and doesn't want to hurt her again. Surely that's proof that the Gods exist after all. Kara hadn't been so sure when she'd been the scared little girl hiding from her mother. But now she was safe. Surely that meant the Gods were there, had saved her and given her this boy to make up for the fear and pain she had known all her young life.

"I love you." She whispers pressing her lips to his chest. She feels his start of surprise that she's finally said the words. When she looks at him, his eyes are shining and his grin is blinding. "But don't let it go to your head or anything." Kara tells him.

"Never." Lee assures her as he wraps her arms around her and then digs his hand into her hair to kiss her.

Now that the urgency of the first time is gone, Lee lets her set the pace. She straddles him and takes only part of him inside of her at first. Her body stretches, but the sting is still there. Kara hisses and tightens in response to the pain.

"Go slow" Lee tells her hoarsely. He's got his fists clenched at his sides, Kara sees the restraint etched in his face and his lips are moving silently, like he does when he's reading.

"What are you doing?" Kara asks fighting a burst of laughter.

"Running the...colonial...mmmm...anthem in mmmmmy...head." He admits biting his lip.

Tentatively, she eases down a bit more until he's completely inside of her. She closes her eyes at the feel of pleasurably hot fullness.

"Gods..." Lee groans.

Gods is right, Kara thinks leaning over him and kissing his lips. Gods, he feels so good inside of her. The sting has faded a bit more and Kara gives in to the urge to move. She rolls her hips and gasps when she stretches around his cock so that he brushes right against her most sensitive spot. She does it again. She tries to mimick Lee's movements earlier and thrusts her hips back and forth until she shifts her thighs for balance and rises up, then down on his cock. Ohhh, that's much better...Kara thinks, doing it again.

"Oh frak me..." She moans as the blood begins to race through her face. Her thighs caress Lee's hips and she squeezes against the soft skin and hard bones.

"Kara...beautiful, frakking beautiful like this." Lee sighs, his hands cupping her hips before bringing the fingers of his right hand between them to stroke her.

"Oh shit...I'm gonna..." Kara cries, her whole body beginning to tighten as his fingers press and dance, sliding. Sweet Gods, nothing has ever felt like this and Kara is grateful that she gets to share it with Lee. Only Lee. Kara is certain she'll never feel this terrifying rush with anyone else. She gives herself over to it...to him. Her hips rolls faster and Lee helps to guide her hip up and down so she's sliding on his shaft and he's rubbing her and she's never ever been this wet. Her fingers are digging into his shoulders which are damp with sweat and then she opens her eyes to meet his. Glittering blue sears itself into her very soul and then he's thrusting upwards meeting her as she thrusts down.

Pain and pleasure are chasing themselves inside of her and Kara is whimpering, forgiving Lee for his loss of control earlier because she understands it now. Her body is greedy, separate from her mind and she knows she's gonna come like she never has and she doesn't care if she has to draw blood from Lee to do it. Her nails dig into his shoulders as he surges up higher, thicker, harder and she pushes down further, rougher, faster. Her whole lower body is beginning to tremble and she's clutching his cock so tightly, she's sure she's gonna break it.

"Say it again, Kara." Lee growls and Kara marvels at his voice hits her right between her legs. For a second, Kara doesn't know what he wants. Then his hands are holding her still so she can't move and she knows what he wants. "Tell me again."

"Oh Gods, Lee...Let go, please..." She begs and she wants to weep because her orgasm is right there, she can see it. He brushes a finger between her legs teasingly.

"Tell me, Kara."

"I love you...Gods, I love you so much, Lee." Kara is shaking with need and the truth of her words.

"Look at me." Lee groans, pressing his fingers more insistently.

Kara meets his eyes again and Lee thrusts up again hard, releasing his hold. Kara pushes down a final time and arches back as her body shatters inside. She's screaming his name as her orgasm rips through her, all the more sharp for the pain, muted, but still there on the edges. She's bucking on top of him, uncontrolled, writhing with no rhythm but a surging back and foth of fire. His fingers are still there, between her legs and he's still thrusting up, outlasting her, riding her through her orgasm.

"Yes...baby...yes...like that...Let go..."Lee urges and Kara clutches his words to her as the only thing that anchors her to the bed as her minds spins.

When she finally drops against him, breathless and with her heart pounding through every fibre of her body, the beats all have his name. Lee...Lee...Lee...Lee.

She doesn't realize she's crying until the tears are dropping onto Lee's chest.

Chapter 9

Kara and Lee are trailing behind the line of other students at the Delphi museum only half listening to the guide and to their teacher, Mr Spitz- a name Kara sees as quite fitting since he does. Lee is standing beside her, talking notes as they walk. Watching his slender fingers grip the pen, Kara shivers in memory of all the lovely talents those fingers have. It's okay for Kara to let herself be distracted, she'll steal the notes off him later.

Despite a less than promising beginning, they do it a lot. A lot. And even when they don't, Kara feels like they're doing it in their heads. Lee's hands are always on her and Kara doesn't mind. She should. A hand on her back, on her shoulder, fingers laced with hers. Even now. His hands are both occupied holding the notebook but his elbow is brushing her against her upper arm. But she likes belonging to Lee. Lee is home. He makes her place above the garage a haven.

Kara likes hearing about the Gods. Lee's face turns bright red when she makes a joke about the legend of the arrow of Apollo and that's fun. He nudges her with his elbow.

"Shut up." He hisses between his teeth, cheeks pink even though Kara knows nobody else heard her.

They move on to some war memorials and Kara tunes out again and begins another round of one of her favourite games, "Distract Lee from His Studies." She's got her fingers in the loops of his jeans and is crossing her eyes at him, ducking her head to catch Lee's eyes. Lee's deliberately avoiding her gaze but his mouth is curved in a grin so sweet that Kara just wants to plant one on him right there. He places the notebook on top of her head and continues to take notes until Stupid Spitz mentions that the great William Adama's son is among the students today.

The grin fades from Lee's mouth and he stiffens. Kara wants to sock Spitz in his stupid fat nose as he urges Lee to the front of the line.

"Oh here we go, Daddy's Little Show-Off." Someone grumbles and Kara thinks it was Stephenson but she can't be sure and doesn't really wanna get her ass handed to her and not have it be him after all.

"Frak." Lee swears under his breath and makes sure to bring Kara along with him to the front of the line. She can feel the skin of his hand grow clammy. The Great War Hero's Son hates attention. The tour guide prods Lee with question after question, wanting him to share any stories his dad may have told him. Could the great William 'Husker' Adama come give a speech at the opening of next month's exhibit on the Cylon Wars?

Kara bites her lip in dread, Lee's face is getting redder by the minute and his jaw is clenched so tight he could cut glass with it.

"Lee here wants to be a viper pilot just like your dad, isn't that right, son?" Spitz asks, puffing up with pride that Adama's son is in his class.

"Sure." Lee seethes and Kara's heart is breaking for him.

"I'm sure it's an honor learning from the best. I can only imagine how proud you'll make us when you follow in your father's footsteps." The tour guide, a tall beady eyed man, gushes.

"Proud. Right." Lee looks alternately furious and nauseous.

"I'll bet. 'How To Frak Around On The Wifey In Ten Easy Steps.' " Some one sneers in the crowd, low enough to pretend he didn't mean to be overheard, and Kara groans. Stephenson. Lee's head snaps in the direction of the voice and his eyes are as hard as Kara has ever seen them.

Though Lee is considerably taller and broader than he was the last time he kicked Stephenson's ass, the oaf still outweighs him by a good 20 pounds and towers over him nearly by a foot.

But Kara doesn't even try to stop Lee when he charges at Stephenson, breaking through the crowd to ram into the bastard.

The two young men topple backwards towards the exhibits on the Gods.

"Mr Adama, this is most unacceptable behaviour!" Spitz shouts trying to break through the crowd of excited students. Kara glances away and sticks her foot out, sending Spitz falling face first. He takes a couple of students with him as he tries to break his fall.

Kara watches as Lee pummels Stephenson, his quickness and rage giving him the advantage. It horrifies her to realize that she is getting turned on but there is something incredibly beautiful about Lee when he's not in control. He's like this wild horse, barely tamed by the rules and standards he sets for himself. Tamping down the wildness in him so he can survive the blows life has dealt him thus far.

He's the good son. The man of the house now that his dad has moved out. He helps his mother as much as he can and then more than that so that the burden is not shared with Zak and who can still be a kid.

The only times Lee loses control is when he's angry and when he's making love with Kara.

When Kara sees the security guards rushing towards them, she decides it's her duty as the girlfriend to make sure her boyfriend doesn't get thrown in prison. No matter how much Kara is turned on by the sight of said boyfriend beating the crap out of a waste of space like Stephenson. Orange is not Lee's colour. Kara reaches down and pulls at Lee's shirt, the front of which is liberally spotted with his own and Stephenson's blood.

"Come on, Lee. That's enough!" Kara cries pulling more insistently when Lee shrugs her off. Stephenson gets in one more punch across Lee's jaw and manages to finally flip Lee over. Stephenson's legs press against one of the statue's and it teeters precariously. The tour guide lets a cry and rushes over to it, throwing his arms around it protectively. But part of the statue comes free and drops off the statue, hurtling downward. Stephenson lets out a cry of pain and arches in shock.

The Arrow of Apollo has embedded itself in his ass.

"I'm sorry, where?" Caroline Adama asks, tightening her arms as they rest across her chest. She bites her lip with the effort of keeping the laughter bubbling inside of her buried. If she's laughing, the effect of bashing her son's skull in won't quite convey the parental disapproval she should get across.

"His behind." Mr Spitz repeats and Caroline chokes, hiding a spurt of laughter behind the knuckles she's pressed to her lips.. "The poor boy is in the hospital right now getting it removed. And may I add, Mrs Adama, that you'll be very lucky if his parent don't charge your for the medical expenses."

"That is hardly my fault! It's not as if I stuck him with the frakking thing! It fell on him." Lee protests scowling in the seat next to his mother.

"I think we've heard enough out of you, young man." Caroline snaps at her son.

Lee glares at his mother, but then jerks his head away from her and remains silent.

"The museum is willing to allow Lee to work off the cost of repairs to the statue in lieu of pressing any criminal charges, thanks to the the esteem they hold for your husband...Oh, I beg your pardon, your ex-husband." Spitz corrects quickly, slightly red-faced.

"That sounds more than fair." Caroline nods. "After school he'll come straight here."

Lee opens his mouth to protest but a glare from his mother kills the words in his throat.

"But he's flies with Greeley after school." Kara injects from her spot in the back of the room. "He'll never get into flight school this year if he falls behind."

"He should have thought of that before he lost his temper." Caroline reminds them both.

"But Mrs A, it really was Stephenson's fault. He ran his mouth and said...well, he said some bad stuff about Lee's dad and about you. So really, Lee was just defending you." Kara insists stepping forward and placing her hands on the back of Lee's chair.

Lee loves Kara just a little bit more for that.

Caroline sighs and Lee straightens a bit in hopeful anticipation.

"How about weekends then?"

Mr Spitz narrows his eyes in displeasure. "I'll have to ask them but I imagine that will be fine." He practically grumbles. Then his eyes light up, "Though if I may suggest, the school thinking of holding a fundraiser next month for a new triad court. Perhaps it would teach young Mr Adama some more effective ways to channel his energy if he were to help run the event." Spitz sits back in his chair, pleased with the annoyed look on Lee's face.

"Oh come on! Stephenson gets off easy and I'm the only one who has to suffer? That frakking sucks!" Lee bursts in frustration as he leaps out of his chair.

"I imagine a dart in the ass is a fittingly painful punishment." Caroline reminds him as she stands. She slings her purse over her shoulder and lowers her head to hide her smile behind a fall of blonde hair.

"It was an arrow." Mr Spitz corrects and Caroline is unable to hide her burst of laughter.

She nods stiffly at the teacher and then turns to her son. "Come on, Apollo." She tries to stifle her laughter at her joke but it's too late and Mr Spitz shoots her a look of disapproval which only makes her laugh harder. She's pushing Lee towards the door, trying to save a last shred of dignity as she's threatening to completely lose her composure.

When Kara bursts out laughing in the hallway, Caroline gives in and dissolves into fits of laughter so strong they have to stop numerous times before they get to Caroline's car.

"I'm glad you two find this so frakking funny." Lee sneers.

"Sorry, Apollo." Kara apologizes, clutching her stomach as she slides in next to him in the backseat.

"Shut up, Kara."

Chapter Ten

"Did you know they use baking soda in some bombs?" Kara asks licking the honey off a spoon as she watches Lee shake the white powder into a bowl.

"Is that right? Stop eating that!" Lee takes the jar of honey from her. "And I thought I told you the grate the lemon peel"

Kara pouts but tauntingly sticks the honeyed spoon in her mouth and smiles at him with an "I've still got this.' look.

"You're the Almighty Cooking Apollo. Not me.' Kara points out. It's her new nickname for him and she knows it drives him batty. He narrows his eyes at her and pushes the grater towards her along with the lemon.

"Grate." He orders.

"Great." Kara grumbles picking up the lemon. "I don't know why I'm stuck baking these with you. I'm not the one who stuck Stephenson in the ass with the arrow."

"First of all, it fell on him. Secondly, you're the girlfriend, that means any time I frak up, you're supposed to support me." Lee reminds her as he cracks the eggs.

"Supporting is one thing. I didn't see anything in the rules about grating lemons. Frak!" Kara bursts as her knuckle scrapes along one of the sharp ridges.

"It was in the intro of the manual. You never read that part. Aww." Lee teases taking her hand and raised the scratched knuckle to his lips. Kara shivers at the touch of his warm mouth. It drowns out the slight sting.

The house is quiet for once. Zak is not in the living room blaring the television, or upstairs blaring his music. Caroline is off to dinner with a new man she's been dating.

Lee's not too happy about that but he keeps his silence with a grudging 'wait and see' atitude.

"I don't think I've ever been here when it's been this quiet." Kara says and she nudges Lee's hip with her own suggestively. There's something disconcertingly sexy about her boyfriend wearing an apron that says 'Kiss my Culinary Ass".

Lee's eyes meet hers for a second and she sees that he gets the message loud and clear. His cheeks redden and he breaks his gaze resolutely. Then scans the counter top.

"Where's the sex...yogurt! I mean yogurt." Lee insists, flustered.

Kara smiles at him, amused by the slip. "Yogurt? Who puts yogurt in a muffin?"

"I'm gonna make you eat those words, Thrace." Lee points a spoon at her then grabs the plain yogurt out of the fridge.

"Just the words?" Kara asks suggestively positioning herself between him and the bowls.

"Stop that. We need to get these in the oven. Are you done with the lemons?" He asks looking over her shoulder.

Kara eases a hand down Lee's abdomen to cup his swollen shaft through his jeans, loving the groaning, helpless sound he makes."I think the lemons are done. Yep." Kara whispers raising her lips to brush his, pressing her fingers firmly against Lee.

"Kara...we can't. Sssery-I mean seriously. We still have another two...mmph...dozen. Guh!" Lee tears away from her roving mouth and digs his fingers into her upper arms. He physically lifts her away from him and back to his side.

"But you wanna..."Kara teases, running a finger over Lee's hip.

"Wanna, but not gonna." Lee tells her, biting his lip.

"You know, I think Apollo does suit you. You have the willpower of a God." Kara grumbles spooning the lemon peel into Lee's bowl.

Lee leans close to her ear and whispers, "Just wait until we're done here and you'll see how much willpower I have." causing Kara to drop the bowl. It pops off the counter and then drops to the floor where it shatters.

Lee shakes his head, laughing and bends to pick up the broken pieces. "I can see when we get married that I'm gonna be the only one who's gonna be safe in the kitchen." Then he stiffens, hunched over as he realizes what he just said.

Kara feels a sharp stab of panic and joy all mixed in deep in her stomach. With shaking fingers she grips the counter half hoping he's only joking around, half hoping he isn't. Married! He thinks about married?

Unable to stop herself, Kara asks. "You think about stuff like that?" Her eyes follow him as he sweeps up the smaller pieces of broken glass and dumps them in the garbage can.

"I was only...well, ya know? Hypothetically." Lee assures her.

"Oh." Kara says, she forces herself to nonchalantly dip her finger in the muffin batter and then in her mouth.

"What? You don't wonder what that will be like someday? Getting married? I mean...I don't mean me. I mean in general. Know what I mean?" He asks pulling the muffin batter away from her.

"I don't know. I'm not exactly Mrs Domestic, ya know? Case in point." She tugs on his apron.

"So, I can cook. I'm sure lots of guys can. Women don't have to be the ones in the kitchen." Lee points out.

"How enlightened of you." Kara says, trying to quiet her racing heart. "What other stuff do you think about. Kids?" She nearly chokes on the words. Kara's sure she'll never want kids. To take a chance that she'd do to them what her mother did to her? She'd rather die first.

"Sure." He shrugs and blushes in that way that makes Kara sure that he's even already picked out the kid's names.

"Let me guess. A boy, right. Lee Jr to carry on the Adama name?" She's smiling but inside Kara's picturing herself holding a little warm, sweet smelling bundle and the image just looks so wrong.

"For your information, I want a girl first. So there." He teases spooning the mixture into the muffin tins and then sliding them into the oven..

"Dare I ask if this girl has a name?" Kara asks, she's not looking at him but feels his eyes on her.

"Hmmm, Kelly." Lee responds.

Kara's head snaps up, her mouth open until she sees the teasing light in Lee's eyes. "Bastard!" She punches him in the chest lightly. He's laughing and grabbing at her hands as she tries to swat him again.

"What's the matter, Thrace? Huh? Jealous? Uh oh. That sounds kinda wifey to me." Lee jokes pushing her against the counter.

"Me? Hell no. You can frak whoever you want, Adama. At school tomorrow, you can grab Kelly McGrath and take her right up against her locker."

"Oh is that right?" Lee asks pinning her arms behind her back.

"Sure, that can be one of the fundraising events. 'Watch the great Lee Adama frak the nose job right off of prissy bitch Kelly McGrath.' "

"Wow, that would be impressive. And while I was frakking the nose job off of her, what would you be doing?"

"Well, I always did think Bobby Astrich which was kinda cute. We could have a competition, who could bring their partner off first." Kara teased.

"Ew! Oh, you and Ostrich. Oh, ew! Ew! Bad mental image Bad! Bad!" Lee pulls back and rubs his eyes.

"What? He's hot in a perverted-nerd-boy kinda way." Kara protests laughing.

"Is that right? Into perverted nerd boys, are ya? How can little old me compete with that?" Lee throws up his hands in surrender. Kara grabs the waist band of his jeans and pulls her towards him.

"Maybe you could convince me that I'm missing out." She smiles placing her hands on his chest and running them up to his shoulders.

"I don't know about that, I mean that's some stiff competition there. Ostrich." He reminds her.

"Well, there's something to be said for hot aspiring flyboys with gorgeous blue eyes and killer bodies." Kara conceded pressing herself against him.

Lee's smile hits her right between the legs and Kara begins to throb. "Killer body, huh?" He asks, his hands travelling down along her sides to rest on her hips.

"Definitely." Kara nods smiling up at him. "And a nice ass always helps too." She runs her hands down along the back of his jeans, cupping the firm flesh there.

"I'd agree." Lee says moving his hands to the back to cup her as well. He lowers his head to meet her mouth and Kara licks her lips in anticipation. When his mouth finally touches hers, it's at the same time that he pulls her up against the hard length of him and he swallows her whimper. Her thighs part instinctively and she gushes hot and ready, clothes an inconvenience between her and Lee.

"This batch will be ready in about 20 minutes. What do you suppose we could do to occupy ourselves for twenty minutes?" Lee asks, eyes shining with want.

"We could go upstairs and engage in shameful illicit activity in your bedroom." Kara purrs nibbling on his lip.

"We could. But we have a perfectly decent counter top right here." Lee points out.

Kara pulls back in surprise, the mental image of him frakking her brains out on the kitchen counter leaves her slightly breathless. "Lee Adama!" She exclaims, her voice slightly choked. "Are you actually considering engaging in sexual activity in your mother's kitchen?" His mouth slides down her neck and Kara's knees threaten to give out.

Lee pulls back and takes off his apron. He lays it flat over the counter. "I have to outdo the perverted nerdy boys somehow." He grins picking Kara up and setting her on the counter. He undoes the button and zipper of her jeans and cups her through her underwear.

"Ohhh!" Kara sighs falling forward against Lee's shoulder.

"Like that?" Lee asks slipping his fingers in past her panties. "Frak." He swears when he finds her already hot and so very wet.

"Mmmm" Kara bites into his shoulder when he slides a finger in side of her. "You're frakkin nuts, Lee...Oh Gods...yes..." She's shaking against him and all she wants his Lee, hard and deep inside of her. "Please..."Kara whimpers against his neck. She spreads her legs and wraps them around his waist. He brings her closer to the edge so that she'll be right up against him when the moment comes.

"Ostrich who, Kara?" Lee asks pumping his finger faster.

"What? "Kara asks, lost to everything but the feel of white, hot need blazing through her veins. "Oh Gods, Lee." His finger slides easily, insistently and Kara cries out when her body starts to tighten. "Frak Lee...I want you...Oh Gods...Inside...please..."She begs. His tongue slides along her teeth, sucking at her lips before he removes his finger and kneels in front of her. He pulls her jeans down off her hips and Kara arches back when his mouth covers her center. His hands stroke the soft skin of her thighs, lovingly as his tongue draws out every single nerve ending. Her hand presses against the handle of the rolling pin and she grips the handle as her orgasm begins to barrel through her. " Don't stop...oh my Gods...don't stop." She pleads one hand covers the top of Lee's head, gripping the soft spiky hair that smells like green apples. Kara feels as if she's gonna float off the counter, her body weak and shaking. Before her orgasm is complete, Lee rises to his feet and pulls himself free and digs the condom out of his pocket. He locks eyes with her as he drives inside in one smooth, hard thrust.

"Shit." They both growl as he fills her. Kara grabs his behind to pull him in deeper. She sucks at the fevered pulse at his neck, loving the flushed hot skin as his blood races beneath. Then she needs to taste him again and moves her mouth over him. His movements are sharp and fast.

"Love you..." Lee murmurs, hips sliding back and forth in Kara's hands. Strong bones covered by warm, soft skin. Kara lets the words wash over her sealing around her like a protective shield. She fears nothing when Lee says the words to her. She imagines spending the rest of her life locked around this boy and it doesn't frighten her.

"Love you, Lee...Oh...I love you..." Kara murmurs wanting to bury herself inside of him. Wishing she could fill him up the way he fills her, completes her. They've found their rhythm now. A sharp, joint push and pull that is love tinged with hot, desperate lust. His eyes are black when they meet hers and Kara's heart swells with the want she sees there.

His mouth is everywhere on her face, and his hands are cupping her breasts under her blouse, under her bra. His fingers stroke her nipples and the touch shoots straight down to tug between her legs. She's rolling against him. He brings her closer against him, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight. She can feel him shaking too. She can feel his heart pounding in quick sync with the back and forth of his cock inside of her.

His mouth is swollen, red and tempting and Kara is drawn back to it. Taking in the grunts and growl of her love as they both race against and with each other, climbing higher. The climb always scares her a little.

He's taken her flying with him a few times and the feeling now reminds her of the instant that the wheels leave ground and she knows there's nothing between them and the ground. Yet Lee is there and Lee is here and she can free fall and tumble through the world with no worries cause his arms are around her. His thrusts grow sharper, deeper and faster and Kara watches as his flushed face tightens with impending orgasm.

"Look...oh Gods...look at us, Lee...look down." Kara sighs against his mouth as he follows her gaze down to where they're joined. Sliding hot, glistening, swollen flesh. Bound together. Linked. The sight is too intense for both of them and Kara arches back, Lee's hands steady and strong at her back. He squeezes her tight and follows her into the free fall.

When the timer goes off mere seconds later. They both dissolve into panting, breathless laughter.

Chapter Eleven

Lee wakes up to a strange, but not unpleasant heated pull in his groin. For a disoriented second. Lee wonders what's happening. Then the smell of her coconut shampoo fills his nostrils and Lee has to fight a smile. He keeps his eyes closed so Kara won't interrupt her blissful assault on his shaft with her mouth. Hell, what a frakking kick-ass way to wake up in the morning! Alarm clock be damned!

He tries his best not to make a sound to let on he's woken up but his body betrays him and he pushes up in the barest hint of pleading movement. If Kara notices she gives no indication but her lips tighten around him and then Lee feels her fingers cup his balls and he gives a low growl of need.

"Gotcha, flyboy." Kara purrs, lifting her mouth from his cock. "Rise and shine."

Lee's eyes open and he stares down at her. Her tousled blonde locks caress his stomach and he lets out a whimper. "Come on, Kara." He begs, pressing his fingers against the top of her head in not-so-subtle suggestion.

"Come on, what?" Kara asks raising an eyebrow.

Lee narrows his eyes at her. All the times he's made her beg beneath him, reduced her to a screaming mass of quivering flesh, he supposes this is her revenge.

"Put your mouth back." He orders.

"Or else?" She taunts resting her chin on his stomach and grinning at him.

"Or else... You’ll regret it." He insists lamely.

She runs a fingernail along the top of the swollen shaft, causing Lee's eyes to draw closed for a moment and his belly tightens. "The thing is, Mr Graduate, my objective was to wake you up in my special way and look. Up you are." Kara smiled at him. "Do you think the military still spends time on a mission once it's already been accomplished?"

Lee reaches down and grabs her shoulders and in a squealing matter of seconds, has Kara flat on her back beneath him. "Frak the military."

"You cheat!" She squirmed. "Ahhh don't!" She cries when his fingers dig into her sides. "Stop! Lee! Nooooo!" She can't breathe she's laughing so hard. He eases up, but only slightly.

"Told you, I'd get you back didn't I?" He giggles proceeding to take small bites of the skin along her collarbone and down towards her breasts.

Then he cups her between her legs and it's Kara's eyes that now flutter closed. "Permission to engage the enemy, Sir?" Lee asks taking a nipple into his mouth. Kara arches her neck and sighs.

"Mmmm, granted." She parts her legs in surrender.

A moment later, he's inside of her and the sheets are tangled around their legs and he's surging, higher, higher. Faster...hotter. Fuller. More. More. The words are filling his ears while Kara digs her nails in his back.

And Kara is screaming cause she doesn't have to be quiet here. Here in the hotel room that Lee booked for the two of them for their own private celebration after all the graduation hoopla of too many people when all they want is this. Alone. Together.

"Oh Gods...Oh my Gods...Frak! Oh Gods Lee." Kara shifts beneath him, rolling her hips in sync with his.

He alternates fast and slow, attuned to how she likes it best. Her cries and declarations of love fill him with a pride matched by nothing else. Not even flying. To have this strong, brave young woman allow him to see her so vulnerable, so swept away by this charged, all encompassing thing that is between them fills his heart near to bursting and Lee is sure he will go to his grave loving this woman.

Sometimes he's greedy and can't help the surge of exhilaration that makes him come first. But sometimes, like now he's able to slow himself. With practice he's made her shatter first a few times and it always makes him that much harder, that much hotter to feel her trembling and clutching, desperate and crying out her release before he reaches his.

"I love you, Kara. Love you so much. Feel that? Feel me? Feel how much I love you, baby." Lee sighs in her ear and Kara doesn't disappoint. With a cry she arches against him and tightens her arms around him so he can feel every tremble.

She's pulsing hot and wonderful around his cock and Lee struggles to hold himself still. He stops thrusting and merely grinds his hips against her, sliding against the damp skin of her waist. He allows himself to drop only slightly against her so she can feel all of his body but not enough to crush her.

She whimpers with every slow grind and Lee feels the build of orgasm begin in his belly and surge into a tight ball at the base of his spine, calves gathering with tension as he thrusts, grinds. Her hands are sliding along his back and seconds after Lee finds his own release in a full body shiver that never threatens to shock him when it happens, he receives another shock when something luke warm comes showering down over his head. He yelps and pulls up off Kara in surprise. She's smiling at him triumphantly holding the now empty bottle of strawberry wine.

"Pay back is a bitch, baby."

"Oh you little-" But Kara is already squirming out from underneath him and slides off the bed before Lee can catch her. He makes to follow her but a knock on the door stops him.

"Better get that. I'm hungry." Kara winks at him and grabs a sheet off the floor to wrap around herself, disappearing into the bathroom.

Lee throws one of his socks at her as she shuts the door and then pulls on his pants. He decides he really could use a nice big breakfast after last night and this morning. He pulls open the door expectantly and his mouth drops open in horrified surprise.

"Dad?"

"Wanna talk about it?" Kara asks as Lee drives them back to the garage.

"Nope." Lee replies curtly, his fingers tightening on the steering wheel.

"Lee-"

"Kara. Don't." Lee warns.

Kara knows Lee well enough now to know she shouldn't push. That whatever storm his father caused inside of him will blow over given time. But she's tired of this heavy feeling inside of her that whispers she's not good enough to share his troubles.

"Come on, Lee." Kara tries for a sympathetic tone, hoping to draw him out but he turns hard blue eyes on her and Kara feels like he's punched her in the stomach.

"I said no. Okay?" He snaps and focuses back on the road.

"No it's not okay. Not this time." Kara turns in the passenger seat to face him better. "What is this, Lee? You can frak me but you can't talk to me? Should I start charging by the hour now or what?" Kara's face feels hot and she's trying with all her might not to cry.

Lee darts a glance at her in surprise and apprehension. "We talk." He says through gritted teeth.

"Not good enough. I hate having you seize up on me like this whenever the subject even nears your dad and then not even be able to help you through it. So we're gonna have this out. Right now. What did your dad say to you?" Kara pressed.

"Frak this." Lee pulls the car over and unbuckles his seatbelt. "Go ahead and take the wheel. Drive yourself home." He gets out slams the door, leaving her inside.

"What the- Oh no you frakking don't." Kara bursts in frustration and slides and, slamming the door and following him outside.

"Look, Lee. I just want-" She's trailing after him as he charges down the road, furious.

"Take the car, Kara. Go home. Leave me alone."

"Frak you! I'm following you the whole way back to Jackson's like this and it'll be a hell of a bonus when some asshole steals your car." Kara shouts after him, running to catch up. "I know it sucks that he wasn't there for the actual graduation but at least he came to see you today."

"Oh, it's nice to know he could fit me into his schedule. You wanna know what he said to me? Not 'congratulations.' Not 'I'm proud of you.' But he was letting me know that he knew some people who could get me into War College early."

Kara grimaces sympathetically. Lee just wants to fly his planes. He has no desire to join the military at all and is all the more against it since it was his father's chosen profession.

"Exactly. See? You know that's not what I want but I could talk until I'm blue in the face to that bastard and he just doesn't hear it. Gods, Kara I just wanna scream and ram my head through a wall. I could bring home the highest flying honours and all my dad will see his how it can benefit my military career"

"Well we're outside so there are no walls around but if you wanna scream, have at it." Kara encourages walking next to him.

"I can't do that." He says glancing around.

"Sure you can. Who's gonna hear? Scream at the frakking world, Lee." Kara urges.

Lee bites his lip and seems to be considering it for a moment but then shakes his head. "No, I'll look like an idiot."

"Who's gonna see you? Me? I've seen you naked, Apollo. Don't be bashful. Look, I'll even start." Kara replies then throws her head back and lets out a full-throated shriek towards the sky.

Lee jumps, startled and then looks around. Reassured that they are indeed alone on the road at this early hour of the morning. He laughs. "You're frakking nuts, Thrace."

"Damn straight, Apollo. Your turn." Kara presses her elbow into his ribs.

He follows her example and throws his head back and shouts a string of obscenities up at the sky. As if in answer, a clap of thunder makes them both stare at each other warily.

"Oh shit!" Lee sprints back to his car, Kara close on his heels as the showers start. Then he suddenly stops and whirls on her all damp and wide-eyed. 'Kara! Tell me you have the keys!"

Chapter Twelve

They look like a couple of drowned rats, or maybe drowned nuns, Kara amends as they both have the collars of their shirts up over their heads in a feeble attempt to keep the rain off their heads. It's not working so well. Kara swears she's got rainwater in her underwear.

Sticking to the paved shoulder of the road they search out shelter to call the auto shop and unlock Lee's car. The hotel was a ways outside of Caprica City and it's a while before they finally come upon a small two-story house. Kara thinks that it looks like something straight out of one of those romance novels. White picket fence and swinging bench on the porch. "Lords, how corny." Kara remarks but she feels a tightening in her chest.

Lee knocks rapidly on the door, easing his shirt off his head and back in order. He reaches up and pulls Kara's shirt off her head too.

Kara notices the curtain at the window to their left move against the glass and then a little voice booms on the other side of the door.

"Moooooooooommmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyy Sunody's on poooooooosssssssssssshhhhhh!" Kara blinks at the powerful lungs in what she assumes is a child and then laughs.

Lee takes a step back when the door opens and a plump young woman looks at them expectantly and not without a little bit of sympathy.

"Can I help you?" She asks and her voice is slightly raspy but soft.

"Hi, My name's Lee. This is Kara. She accidentally locked my keys in my car and I was hoping I could use your phone to get the garage to unlock it?" Kara thinks Lee is deliberately avoiding her gaze so he doesn't see her glaring at him. And whose fault was it that we both got out of the car, Oh Great Apollo?

"Oh sure, sure. Come on in. Come and get dry. Lords is pouring." She ushers them inside quickly.

Kara notices that the woman's plumpness is due to a swollen belly. She's got soft brown eyes and dark hair pulled back in a ponytail. The woman looks about ready to pop and Kara prays that the kid doesn't decide to arrive while she and Lee are here.

"I'll get you some dry clothes if you'd like and we can dry those off." The woman offers.

"Oh we don't want to be any trouble-" Lee says, just as Kara replies,"sure, thanks"

Politeness, my ass. I'm freezing! Kara conveys her message loudly with her eyes to Lee, who concedes.

"Actually, that'd be really nice of you."Lee replies. "As long as you're sure it's no trouble." He insists. But the woman is already stepping back and sizing Lee up.

"You're a bit smaller than my husband but I think I can find something. Follow me." Then she turns to Kara "Kara, is it? You can get out of those wet clothes. Bathroom's straight down the hall. I'll come bring you something in a minute."

"Honey, who was that at the door?" A man's voice calls from up the stairs. Kara guesses this is the bigger-than-Lee husband and the smile on the woman's face clinches it. Kara wonders if she ever looks at Lee with that same moony look. Lords, she hopes not. How embarrassing. Yet Kara can't tear her eyes away as the handsome man's eyes meet his wife's. He's considerably taller and wider than Lee. The woman was right about that. The look on his face matches the way Lee looks at Kara a lot of the time and she feels a lump in her throat.

"This is Lee and Kara. They got caught in the storm. He seems to have locked his keys in his car." Kara watches Lee open his mouth to correct the woman but then she turns to Kara and winks.

"Ah. Sucks when that happens. All too familiar with that." The husband admits extending his hand to Lee. "Jack Martin. This is my wife, Maggie."

"We really appreciate your help. I'll just call the auto shop and we'll get out of your hair." Lee promises.

"Not until you're dry, you won't. And we were about to have lunch." Maggie insists

"Oh no, really. No. We don't want to intr-"

"Son, don't even try." Jack tells Lee with an indulgent grin at his wife.

Kara swears the woman is blushing. People like this actually exist?

While she's changing out of her sopping wet clothes, a soft knock comes from the other side of the bathroom door.

"Whatcha doin'? A much more muted version of the screaming boy they'd heard earlier, asks.

"Baking a cake." Kara replies rolling her eyes.

"In da bafroom?" A curious voice presses.

The 'bafroom' is bright and smells of lemons. Clean but yet lived in with a small sock draped over the rim of the hamper in the corner and a soft yellow robe hanging off the doorknob. The medicine cabinet is half-open and Kara can't resist taking a peek.

Various make-up items here and there, children's cough syrup, some kind of cream for hemorrhoids,(OUCH!), razors, multivitamins, tablets for heartburn...

"See my fingers?" The small voice asks. Sure enough, four tiny fingers peek in from under the door.

"Uh no, sorry." Kara lies with a grin. The fingers slip further inside and Kara bites her lip to keep from laughing imagining the poor kid on his knees trying to shove his hand further under the door.

"Bout now?" He asks.

"Nope, sorry."Kara replies, biting her fist.

"Jamie! Leave the girl in peace!" Kara recognizes Maggie's voice.

Kara swallows a burst of sadness. Never, when her own mother had scolded her, had Karen Thrace's voice held that undertone of amused loving, indulgence. Kara's eyes burn and she quickly blinks the threat of tears away.

"How do they fit?" Maggie asks her. Kara ties the blue sweatpants securely around her waist and straightened the sweat-shirt.

"Fine. Thanks a lot." Kara turns the doorknob and clears her throat. She's greeted with a tiny male grin.

"What's your name?" Jamie asks her. He's all impish grin, dark hair and blue eyes that remind her so much of Lee Kara swears her ovaries just popped.

"Kara. You're Jamie, right?" Kara asks bending down so that she's eye level with him. Blue eyes widen in surprise.

"How'd you know?"

"I have magic powers." Kara jokes, hearing Maggie snort behind her son.

Lee is also garbed in a sweat suit. Grey with the words "I'd rather be fishing.' across his chest.

"They'll be here in about three hours, thanks to this mess outside." Lee informs her.

Three hours with the frakking perfect family. Kara bites her lip uneasily.

"Hi. I'm Jamie." The little boy extends his hand to Lee who smiles and tries to looks serious when he takes it.

"Lee Adama, pleased to meet you." Kara watches them and up close, the similarities are eerie. If she ever has a son, it'll look like this boy. Kara stops with a jolt. Where the frak did THAT come from? She must have gone very pale cause Lee's brows draw together in concern when he looks at her. She shakes away the terrifying thought and forces a smile.

"Does she have magical powers?" Jamie asks pointing at Kara.

"Oh, she told you about that, huh?" Lee asks. "She certainly does." And he gives her a grin that makes her heart swell in her chest. Oh he was gonna pay dearly for turning into a weak kneed girly girl! Her heart slows back to it's normal rhythm as Maggie leads them to the table for lunch.

Jack works as a ship builder and Maggie is a school teacher for the 2nd grade. High school sweethearts, who married against everyone's advice right after graduation and from the looks of it, didn't regret the decision.

Kara is almost embarrassed by the obvious love the two have for each other but there is something kind of comforting about them. Knowing that sometimes, good things do happen and people can be happy.

She and Lee sat on the couch, drinking coffee when Jamie climbs on next to Kara.

"Do you have a little boy at home too? Like me?" Jamie asks.

Kara chokes on her coffee.

"Oh frak, I'm sorry!" Kara says wiping at the hot liquid that spills on her pants. Lee is smiling in his mug at her obvious discomfort.

"That's nod a nice word!" Jamie exclaims in shock. "Daddy says it all the time when he drops stuff and mommy says it's bad."

"Right. Sorry about that." Kara nods and then smiles apologetically at Jack and Maggie.

"No we don't, Jamie. We're not like your mommy and daddy." Lee explains.

You could say that again! Kara thinks.

"How come? She's pittie." Jamie points out. Kara's cheeks warm and she wants to sink into the couch.

"You're right. You're very smart, Jamie." Lee says and his eyes are on Kara and her cheeks are hot now.

"You don't have a ring. You need a ring to be a mommy." Jamie informs them.

Oh Gods, just shoot me now. Please. A bullet in the head. Anytime now. Kara pleads silently.

"Maybe when I get bigger, I get a ring and we can be mommy and daddy?" Jamie asks looking at Kara, smiling.

"Sure kid, look me up."Kara replies laughing.

"So now you can't ask her anymore, okay?" Jamie tells Lee who lifts his eyebrows and stifles a burst of laughter. "Oooh! I know!" Then the little boy bolts off the couch and charges up the stairs.

"Where's he going?" Kara asks his parents.

"I'm almost afraid to guess." Maggie replies laughing.

Small footsteps thump in one direction, then a few seconds of silence and then the footsteps begin again, closer and closer until he's charging back down the stairs. In his haste he trips over the last three steps and falls the rest of the way, falling on his side.

All four of them rise in surprise and Maggie rushes over to her son who stares at the floor and blinks for a second then his lower lip quivers and he starts to cry.

"Awww. Come here baby."Maggie gathers Jamie up into her arms and he buries his face in his mother's neck.

"I falled down!" Jamie sobs.

"I know, baby. I know. Bad stairs. Bad!" Maggie makes a big thing of making sure Jamie sees her smacking the stairs."

Jamie reaches down and copies his mother's actions, smacking the railing. "Bad!" He sniffles holding his arm.

Kara has a flash back of her mother backhanding her into the stairs when Kara told her one of her boyfriends had touched her in a bad way. Kara blinks and she can no longer breathe. It's all too much. If she doesn't get out of this house right now, she's gonna frakking scream.

"Excuse me." Kara mumbles and races for the door. She stands on the porch, taking in deep gulps of metallic tasting heavy air. The gusts of rainy wind rushing past her. She's outside for a good five minutes before Jamie peeks his head out the window. His eyes are a little puffy and glistening but he's no longer crying.

"I'm all better now." He assures her and Kara cracks a small smile.

"Good for you."

"I have a pezent for you." She steps closer and he hands her a small toy soldier through the window. "When I get bigger, I give you a ring, promise. But this is okay too, right? Till I get lots of money?"

"Honey, are you sure you want to giver her Sergeant Buck?" Maggie asks, kneeling next to her son.

"I'm sure. But you gimme Starbuck back when I get a ring, deal?" Jamie extends his hand.

Kara takes a deep breath, this boy's sweet gesture easing the pain in her heart a little bit more.

"Deal." Kara takes his small hand in hers.

Chapter Thirteen

"I think I'm a little drunk." Lee says rubbing his eyes as he leans against Kara while she opens her door.

"No kidding, flyboy." Kara agrees, shaking her head while propping him up with her shoulder and turning the doorknob.

“Well, It’s my right. Don’t ya think? You got in! We had to celecesa...cesse...cesalebartate...party." He amends, his tongue thick in his mouth.

Kara grabs him by the waist and drags her boyfriend into her apartment."Lee, you didn't get this drunk when you got your acceptance letter."

"Cause I wasn't sure if you were coming with me, stupid." He explains looking around for a seat, settling on the carpet instead. "Oh, did you redecorate? I could have sworn your couch was here."

"Other side of the room, Blue Eyes." Kara disappears into her mini kitchen and fills the kettle.

"I miss you calling me that. You should do it more often." He informs her.

"I call you that all the time." She replies through the wall.

"Do not. You call me Apollo. It's very...pressurizing."

"Pressurizing?" Kara asks laughing sticking her head out.

"Yes and I don't like it. How is a guy supposed to live up a nickname like that? Too much pressure." He explains with a serious look on his face.

"Baby. Get a mirror." Kara tosses back.

"Off we go into the wild blue yonder Climbing high into the sun; Here they come zooming to meet our thunder, At 'em boys, Give 'er the gun! Give 'er the gun!" Lee shouts, more than sings, the army corps song.

"Oh no, Lords. I beg you. No." Kara raises her eyes to the ceiling. The lords seem to have heard her cause for then there's silence on Lee's end and Kara wonders if he's fallen asleep. "Karaaaaaa!" Lee suddenly shouts and Kara nearly drops the coffee mug she's carrying.

"Frak, Lee. What?" She asks coming back into the living room.

He grins up at her. "You know I love you, right?"

Kara's heart warms but it's all she can do not to dump the coffee on his head for startling her.

"Yeah, Blue Eyes. Come to the couch and get some coffee inside of you." She sets the mugs on the fold up table in front of the couch.

"No, thank you. I'm comfy right here. Come sit." Lee pats the floor next to him. Kara sighs, but joins him on the floor handing him a mug.

"This is coffee." He wrinkles his nose at her and Kara resists the urge to kiss it.

"What did you expect? More booze?" She asks, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yeah." He nods.

"Drink." She orders.

Lee sticks his tongue out at her, but takes a tentative sip then shudders. "You make very bad coffee." He remarks but drinks again. "You know what we should do?" He says after a while.

"Dare I ask?" Kara asks wrapping her hands around her warm mug.

"We should have sex." Lee suggests and Kara bursts out laughing. His face falls. "That's not funny. Why are you laughing? You like sex. Aren't I good at it?"

"Lords, Lee." Kara lifts his mug towards his lips insistently. "Drink."

"I'm not thirsty, I'm horny." Lee points out.

"You're drunk, baby. I doubt you could no matter how much you wanted to." Kara leans in and kisses his forehead. "In the morning, okay?" She promises.

"Hmph." Lee grumbles then yawns. "'kay. I know!" He suddenly bursts spilling the coffee on his navy blue dress pants.

"Geez, Lee." Kara takes the cup from him and tries to help him to his feet to take his pants off.

"You're making me naked. Are you sure you don't wanna frak?" Lee asks as she pulls his pants down past his hips. He's bent over her and places a kiss on the crown of her head. "You're so pretty, Kara. Do you know that? Beautiful. A lot."

Kara shivers, tempted, but knows it wouldn't be a great idea considering that barring any physical impediments, they just might have to stop in the middle when Lee threw up. She'd rather he not be over her when he did it.

"If you don't wanna frak I have another idea-"

"So do I, bed." Kara insists. Lee beams at her. "To sleep, Blue Eyes. You can sleep here tonight." Not so much with the beaming anymore. She pulls him to the bed and drops him onto it, tossing his pants on the couch. He drops flat with a grunt. She picks up the coffee mugs and walks to towards the kitchen.

"That's not my idea. You don't wanna have sex, let's get married instead." He suggests winking suggestively at her.

The cups land on the carpet with a joint thunk. "What did you just say?" Kara asks, her stomach tightening painfully. Oh no. No! Not this. Anything but this. She forces herself to turn to Lee to clarify that he didn't say what she thinks he said. His eyes are now closed and his mouth is partly open.

Kara stands there staring at him for a good five minutes. He's drunk out of his mind. He doesn't mean it. Of course not. Kara decides she's not even gonna ask him about it in the morning, not to embarrass him. They just got accepted to flight school. He can't possibly be thinking about marriage yet. At all! Shit! Shit! Thrace, calm down. But her heart is slamming painfully in her ribcage and her legs give out when she moves towards the couch, missing it, she falls onto the carpet. She sits there, breathing erratically. She can't. She cannot do this. Marriage isn't for her and certainly not with someone as wonderful as Lee Adama.

But he loves you. Right, now! But Kara wasn't made for matrimony. She isn't the type. She'd share her body with him and he's taught her to love to fly, she'd always share that with him and her heart. But marriage is not in the cards for her. It's about promises Kara can't make.

Coward, that's not why. The voice in her head taunts. You'll love this man 'till the day you die. Kara bites her thumb and glances over at Lee's sleeping form. It's Lee she's afraid of. Afraid that if she allows herself the dream of a happy life with him, he'll change his mind down the line. He'll see that Kara is nothing but a worthless, scared little girl and he won't love her anymore. That she's not good enough to be an Adama. She angrily wipes the tears off her cheeks and wants to kick Lee awake for making her think about this. Dammit, Apollo! Why did he have to bring this up now? Make her think, want. Want things, to make promises that she would never be good enough to keep. Kara, a wife? Kara, a mother? What a frakking joke.

Kara stiffens her spine. She was probably getting worked up over nothing. He was drunk off his ass, probably didn't know what he was saying. Kara tries to take some deep calming breaths and looks around for something to distract herself with. She suddenly spots the flashing light on her answering machine and is glad for the distraction. Her gratefulness is short lived when an unfamiliar voice identifies herself as someone from the hospital telling Kara that her mother had suffered a heart attack and was asking to see her. The prognosis wasn't good. Kara's heart dropped to her feet.She covers her ears with her hands and fights the urge to scream.

Mommy. Let the bitch die, what did Kara care? She tells herself, feeling hatred war with the heavy feeling of dread in her chest. She wouldn't go see her. Karen Thrace deserved to die alone. Hateful bitch. Mommy. Panic surges again in Kara's stomach along with bile and Kara rushed to the bathroom to throw up. Don't die, mommy.

Oh Gods, Lee. Please wake up. Please wake up and hold me and make all of this go away. It's half an hour later and Kara is seated on the couch, knees drawn up to her chest. Her neck is damp with tears. She wants to go to him, wrap herself around him and bury herself in the peace he brings her. She moves to get up and her hand comes down on Lee's pants, pressing against something in his pocket. She pulls out the small velvet box and is choking on her sobs when she opens it to reveal the single diamond set in a platinum band.

Chapter Fourteen

Kara is sitting in a chair next to the bed, watching him sleep. He is illuminated by only the soft yellow light of her lamp on the night table. Her sketchpad is on her knees and her fingers are gripping the pencil, drawing him, touching him in her mind as the lines become tight shoulders, broad chest, lean waist. She has pulled the blanket off his sleeping form and Lee hasn't stirred once. He's a very sound sleeper and she imagines the alcohol has made him even more so. She sketches his naked body, planning to add it to the dozens of others she has. Some she has shown him. Some she hasn't. She won't show him this one.

Her mind calms as she draws. It's the only thing besides Lee that manages to settle her. Considering that he is the cause of her distress this time, she can't exactly seek comfort from him. So she draws.

His eyes flutter open briefly and Kara holds her breath.

"What ya doin'?" He asks groggily.

"Drawing you." She admits.

"Oh." He murmurs and then is sleeping again.

"I love you." She whispers, but knows he doesn't hear her.

She doesn't need his eyes to be open to be able to draw them. His eyes are lovingly familiar and she knows them better than her own.

It's a few minutes later when he stirs again and his hands are reaching along his body, looking for the blankets. Not finding them, Lee opens his eyes and looks at her with confusion. Kara puts the sketchpad under the bed and pulls the blankets up along Lee's body again, climbing into bed with him. He pulls her in close against him, her back pressed against Lee's chest. Kara shivers. He wants this. She knows. He wants a lifetime of this. But Kara knows there's more to marriage than laying next to each other. And it's this 'more' that frightens her.

Lee's hand reaches around to cup a breast and he sighs into her hair. Kara's eyes burn with tears and her body burns for him. Don't let go, Kara thinks when his hand goes slack and he's sleeping again. I need you to keep touching me. Keep loving me. Even when I say no. Even when I break your heart cause I will. She knows this can't last. This comfort, this breathless, passionate security. He deserves better than Kara Thrace, because Kara Thrace is just no good. Even Caroline Adama wasn't enough to tie a flyboy to her, and Kara Thrace is no Caroline Adama.

Who's gonna want a little bitch like you, huh? You're a piece of trash, baby girl. And you know where trash belongs, don't ya? Kara can still smell the garbage she was pushed down against when her mother tried to stuff her in the garbage can. She was four. But Kara remembers that lesson well.

Lee's arm tightens around her and Kara realizes she's shaking again. She could be greedy. Take Lee and keep him for as long as he wants her. Be happy. Even if it won't last. He loves her now, she thinks. Maybe she could live in that love for awhile. Say yes. Wake him up and say yes. But Kara stays still. It'll kill her to lose him later more than it would now. Kara wishes she was braver. Stronger. Lee is so strong, she marvels, turning around so she's facing him. He breathes against her face and Kara just lays there, smelling him. His scent is mixed with too much alcohol but Kara doesn't care. She closes her eyes and breathes in the man she loves. He's so brave. Even with the destruction of his parents marriage, Lee is not afraid to love Kara. That's another reason they can never work in the long term. Kara is so weak. She sniffles and Lee's eyes open, looking at her in concern.

"You cryin'?" He asks softly. She doesn't answer. Kara leans over and kisses him. Lee comes fully awake slowly. All of him. He pulls her closer to him and Kara sighs pressing herself against him. Please...please...make me just feel. I can't think anymore. Just feel. He mumbles something in her mouth but Kara doesn't make it out and it doesn't matter. She reaches down to take him in her hand and Lee's groans and thrusts against her fingers.

"Open your eyes, Lee. Please." Kara sighs shakily kissing the space between his eyes. Blue. So very blue and Kara allows herself to suck in the blue of his eyes. Vivid. Full of life and passion. Lee is that. Kara meets his mouth again and rolls him onto his back, straddling him.

"Kara. wait. We have-" She doesn't want to stop. Doesn't want to think about anything but keeping the monster with her mother's face from her door. She eases down onto Lee, driving the monster effectively from her mind.

"Ah Gods..." Lee growls, thrusting up and filling Kara with sharp bursts of fiery sensation. He feels so full and hard and warm inside of her. He's holding her close against him so that Kara can only shift back and forth as opposed to up and down. She presses her mouth to his shoulders, down onto his chest, sucking, biting. Her nails dig into his skin and Lee is panting in her ear. Her heart is racing now, but no longer in fear. Joy. Desperate, wonderful joy. He's fixing her. Thrust by beautiful thrust he's picking up every piece of her tattered, broken self and putting her back together.

"Love you..." She murmurs sucking his lip into her mouth. "Love you...love you...love you..." She's panting and shaking. He's not even going to have to touch her to bring her with him over the edge. His hands cup her bottom, guiding her in slow languid strokes and then she's clamping around him, arching. "Lee! Lee!" She cries softly, her orgasm slamming into her as Lee thrusts up hard one final time and she feels a strange heat bursting inside of her.

His fingers dig into her back as he's pulsing thick and hot within her. He takes one of her breasts into his mouth and she can feel him damp and sweaty beneath her and she wishes for courage with all her heart for a lifetime of this and more.

His voice is filling her head through the ear piece in her helmet. Lee likes to guide her even though she's getting to be as good as he is in the cockpit. Maybe even better. Yeah, Kara laughs. She likes the sound of that. She keeps her eyes on the horizon. She lets go of the controls even though she knows Lee will be able to tell that she's done so and is gonna give her shit for it. She loves the free flying feeling. She leans back and closes her eyes, feeling the world rush by her.

Kara grips the controls briefly to flip upside down. Through the cockpit window she waves at Lee who is beneath her.

"Not funny, Kara. Turn back upright." Lee orders and she can hear the nervousness in his voice. He doesn't enjoy her goofing off when they're flying. She rights the small plane and he guides her through a few more manouvers when she spots the mountain coming into her field of vision. Her fingers twitch on the controls and she hears Lee tell her they'll just pull up over it.

For a split second she envisions herself crashing into the mountain, exploding into a ball of fire. Would you miss me? Kara silently asks Lee. Her breath comes in quick gasps and she wonders, what if? What if I could just end it now and that way I wouldn't have to face Lee and break his heart when he gets the courage to ask me that question. That question that is in his eyes every time he stops and stares at her, opens his mouth and then closes it deciding that now is not the right moment.

"Coward." Kara sighs, speaking of herself.

"What?" Lee asks.

She startles, realizing she spoke out loud. "Nothing." Her fingers tighten and release on the controls. The mountain is getting closer.

"Okay, get ready." Lee says and she loves the sounds of his voice in her ear.

"Moment of truth." She says her fingers easing off the controls.Kara feels something swell inside of her heart. What if this was your last second? What would you regret the most?

"Come on, Kara. Stop frakking around and get your hands back on the controls." Lee's voice is again thick with nervous tension.

Would you die afraid? A coward? A picture of little Jamie fills her mind. Hope. She thinks. That's something to live for. Look at his parents, so ass backwards in love with each other that they created that sweet little boy. If them, why not me? Why not me? Kara's hands tremble as they hover over the controls.

"Lee. Ask me." Kara says suddenly.

"Huh?" Lee asks in confusion.

The mountain is mere seconds away from them. "Damn it, Kara! What the frak are you doing?"

"I saw the ring, Lee." Kara admits.

Silence. Then Lee clears his throat. "Look, forget about it, okay? Let's just prepare to pull up and then we can talk when we're back on the ground. Now on my count, pull up."

This is the last moment of your life, Kara Thrace. What would your answer be? She stiffens in her seat, searching past the fear and doubt, to that honest place inside of her.

"Ask me, Lee." She repeats.

"On my count. One-" He ignores her request.

They have seconds to pull up or crash. Kara shifts over so that Lee is no longer beneath her and can pull up if he wishes, without her. Her heart is pounding as she waits to see if she can find one ounce of courage inside of her. One speck of something worth saving.

Right now. What would your answer be?

"Two." Lee continues. "Put your frakking hands back on the controls, Kara!"

"Yes, Lee. My answer is yes." Kara answers and her whole body is shaking with adrenaline and joy as she grips the controls and pulls up along side him and they clear the top of the mountain together. Together. She's laughing and crying. So Kara Thrace isn't as big a chicken shit as she thought she was. Who knew?

 

Chapter 15

Two lines......Two mother-frakking lines! Kara sits on the bathroom floor, ignoring the cold against her bare legs. She shakes the stick and prays for one of the lines to dissapear. She's not picky, either line will do. Eyes clenched tight, she risks opening one eye to see if her prayers have been answered.

"Frak me." She groans. "How did this happen?" She places and elbow on the seat of the toilet and cradles her head in the one hand that is not holding the white plastic stick with the small, unassuming window. Well, she knows HOW it happened, she just doesn't know how it happened. She and Lee are always so careful. She's allergic to the pill but Lee never forgets a condom. Ever. He even goes so far as to check the boxes they keep in his room, hers and the glove compartment in his car to make sure they're not running low. When the damn things aren't even half empty, he buys new boxes!

Ninety-seven percent effective my ass! They should have a disclaimer for especially dilliengent, over achieving Adama-sperm! "Shit, shit, shit!" Kara had just been getting used to the idea of becoming a wife and now this!

A memory teases the edges of her mind and Kara bites her thumb. The night she found the ring. "Ooooohhhh." Kara whimpers in rememberance. She'd been so afraid. So desperate and all she wanted was for Lee to make it all right again. All she wanted was that sweet oblivion that came with him buried hot inside of her. Be careful what you wish for. She doesn't remember them using a condom that night but she was so upset.....surely they did. Surely!

Uh uh. The little white stick taunts her and Kara throws it across the room. What the frak is she gonna do? They have flight school this year and a wedding to plan. When she dares to picture herself with a child it's someday far in the future! So far, she can't even really see it at all. NOT in nine months!

She gets to her feet and begins to pace around the bathroom. She can just see the look on Lee's face. His beady blue eyes are gonna grow huge, he's gonna go very pale, he's gonna open and close his mouth a few times like a gasping fish. Then he's gonna clench his jaw very hard. Kara's never seen him faint but Caroline told her that Lee passed out a few times as a toddler when overly excited or agitated. Unplanned early fatherhood would certainly fit that criteria. She briefly thinks it'd be kind of entertaining to see Lee drop like a stone at her feet.

Kara suddenly stops. Right at this second, there's another human being inside of her. The size of a pin, sure but still. A baby. A little Lee Adama. Jamie. The image of that little boy fills her mind and Kara is certain this little one will look like that child. Could she dare to hope that maybe this is a sign from the Gods that she's doing the right thing? Now that she's decided to let herself be happy and fight past all her fear. Past that voice in her mind that sounds like her mother and tells her Kara doesn't deserve a baby. Doesn't deserve Lee. Maybe the Gods are being generous to Kara Thrace for the first time in her life. Her chest constricts and her stomach warms. A baby.

Her mouth hurts and Kara realizes with a jolt that it's because she's been smiling this whole time. Then her nerves play catch up and she throws up in the toilert bowl.

*

He sucks at Strip Triad, Kara muses watching Lee on the floor across from her. He's shirtless, pantless, wearing only boxers and one sock and shoe on his left foot. After a lengthy debate where he insists that shoes DO count as clothes. She silently hopes the kid will inherit her luck with cards.

It's sad, really and Kara almost feels guilty when she lays down her hand. Full colors.

"I hate this game." Lee grumbles, kicking off his shoe.

Here's something to cheer you up, baby. You're gonna be a daddy. Kara blinks. No. Not the best time. She'll wait until he wins one. Then she'll tell him. Then he can help her figure out how they're gonna work this out. School? Marriage? A baby? She knows a few girls who have done it but they were stronger women than her. Good girls from good families who made good mothers. Not Kara Thrace.

Okay, so all the good parenting stuff will come from Lee.....That is if he even wants the kid. Kara's blood freezes for an instant. What if he doesn't? What if he decides it's too much pressure to worry about school and a baby at the same time?

He loses a sock next.

At this rate, she'll deliver the kid right in front of him before he wins a hand. She suddenly grimaces. Labour. OUCH!

Kara bites her lip and deals out the next hand for her and Lee.

"You okay?" Lee asks looking up from his cards.

"Hmmm? Fine." Kara replies distracted. He's gonna have a frakking aneurism, He's gonna shit himself. Will you still love me? Will you still want me? Will you think I did this on purpose? No, Kara knows Lee won't believe that. If she were going to trap him, she'd have done it before he showed up with a ring and wouldn't have had a near heart attack over said ring.

"It's just, you're not doing that annoying happy dance you do when you usually win a hand."

"I thought I'd restrain myself. Wouldn't want to wound your pride anymore than usual."

"Thanks." He throws a cubit at her head.

"Not to mention all that dancing would have me totally tired by now." Kara teases with a smile.

He narrows his eyes at her. "I call." Lee orders.

She lays her cards down and then Lee follows. He blinks. Looks up at her, and then down at the cards and a slow grin spreads on his face.

"Frak me, I won! I frakking won! Ha!" Lee exclaims gleefeully. "Lookie there you blond midget! I won! I, Lee Adama beat the great Kara Thrace! Hee Hee!" Then he gets to his feet and in nothing but his boxers begins to mimic her happy dance, which is nothing more than swinging his fists and hips side to side, around her livingroom.

"Get your sweet ass back here, Adama. The game ain't over 'till some one gets naked." Kara reminds him, glad for the lighthearted respite from her heavy thoughts.

"Oh that's right!" He whistles and points at her. "Get naked baby!"

"Nice try." Then she smiles at him suggestively and takes off his ring, placing it next to her on the carpet.

"Hey!" Lee protests. "First of all, you're never supposed to take that off and second, rings aren't clothes!"

"I'm wearing it so it counts." Kara points out throwing his earlier argument back in his face.

"Cute. Really cute." Then he tackles her. He grabs her, presses his fingers into her sides and Kara is squirming and squealing beneath him. He nibbles her collar bone and begins to work his way south. The lower he goes, the less laughing either of them are doing. He dots sweet quick kisses along her stomach and Kara sighs, playing with his hair. Tell him now. Now while he's happy and relaxed and loving you.

She's about to work up the courage when the phone rings. "Let the machine pick it up." Lee tells her undoing the buttons down her jean skirt. Kara doesn't object and shivers when his fingers meet the bareskin of her abdomen.

It's the hospital. Again. Her mother is not expected to last the night and is asking to see Kara. Lee swears and drops his head on her stomach. It's one of dozens of messages left by the hospital and Kara always responds with the same answer. No.

Now she hesitates. Could she do it? Could she see her mother now after everything? If Karen Thrace dies, maybe Kara can do one good thing and tell her she is gonna be a grandmother. Maybe that would somehow make it easier for her mother? How can Kara be a good mother if she lets her own mother die alone? If she wants to teach this little one the right things, could she live with herself if she didn't forgive her mother. Kara shudders. She doesn't even know if she can bear to be in the same room as the woman who hurt her so badly. But doesn't she owe it to her baby to try?

Lee must see something on her face cause he looks down at her with a wary, questioning expression.

"You're gonna go this time, aren't you?" He's not pleased.

Kara bites her lip hesitantly in response.

"Gods, Kara. Why? Why put yourself through that?"

"Maybe it's time to let it all go, Lee." Kara shrugs. He pulls back and she sits up. "Things are so good for me now, Lee. For us. Can I really be happy if I let her die alone?"

"After what she put you through? Frak yeah." Lee insisted. "I just don't want her to hurt you anymore." He insists, cupping her face in his hands.

Kara smiles. "I love you. So much I feel dizzy. She can't hurt me anymore. I just want to end it all. I feel like the Gods gave me a break when you and I got together and I don't want any bad karma to frak that up....I know you think that's hokey-"

"You're right, I do. Nothing is gonna frak us up unless we let it." Lee counters, then his shoulders sag. "But I know how important that all is to you. I want you to promise me that you won't let anything she says get to you. Understood?" Lee says. "I love you, and we're gonna be ass backwards happy and nothing is gonna change that."

"Yes, sir!" Kara says, giving him a salute and then leaning in and kissing him. I'll tell him when I get back. Then we can really just focus on the future, Together. Thank you, Gods.

*

Her mother is thrilled when Kara tells her that she and Lee are planning to marry.

"Oh that's good, girl. Real good. Maybe then you can help your momma out here? Get me all better. Betcha you can buy some good doctors with all that Adama money" The woman looks so small and frail in the hospital bed. Her skin is wrinkled and paper thin and she looks so much older than her 40 years. Why was I ever afraid of this weak, little woman? Kara wonders.

"The doctors say you're not gonna get better, momma." Kara reminds her. The beeping from the monitor emphasizing her point.

Karen Thrace's green eyes flare. "You wanna believe them doctors, don't ya? You wanna leave me here to die? You're gonna go off and live in your rich house with your white picket fence and leave your momma here to die. Wash your hands of me cause you're gonna be rich?" She seethes.

"That's not what I mean. The doctors say-"

"Frak the doctors! And frak you, you little slut. Oh yes, looks like I was right about you after all wasn't I?" The beeping in the room intensifies. "All those years I wasted when I could have had a life. All those years I took care of you and this is how you treat your momma. You're gonna burn when you die, baby. You treat your momma like this and you're gonna burn when you die!" Hatred came off the woman and Kara had to step back at the force of it.

Kara shakes her head, tears filling her eyes. "How you took care of me? How was that momma? When everday with you was a nightmare? When you weren't passed out in a drunken stupor,you were beating the crap out of me."

"Cause I knew. I was right. You're just no good, baby. You never were."

Kara is shaking and is fighting hard not to vomit when the nurse comes in.

"What is going on here? Please, you mustn't upset her. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave." The petite dark haired woman orders.

"Right." Kara sniffles. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm happy now. No matter how much you tried to break me. I'm okay. Lee loves me and you're gonna be a grandmother. I thought it would maybe give you a little bit of peace to know that. That's the only reason I'm here."

Her mother starts to laugh. "A baby? You? What the frak do you know about babies? Garbage can't raise babies."

"Please, Ms Thrace. Let's go." The nurse insists uneasily, touching Kara's arm.

"The Gods rest your soul, momma. And you're wrong about that last bit, after all, momma, you raised me." Kara turns and leaves certain that she'll never set eyes on her mother again. Finally, Kara is free.

When she gets outside, Kara is trembling. She stops for a moment before crossing the street and takes deep, gulpfuls of air, pushing her mother's hateful words away. The words wash over her, no longer seeping in as they would have before.

She waits on the curb and then starts to cross when the light changes.

Kara never sees the car turning the corner until the second before it slams into her.

Chapter Sixteen

"She's young.....should have no.....conceiving again....." The voices were distant, like they were wrapped in the cotton that filled Kara's mouth. At least that's what her mouth felt like.

"She's coming around." A male voice.....Lee? Kara fought towards that voice. Her eyelids as if they had two bowling balls sitting on top of them. Kara whimpered against the all over soreness of her body.

"Hurts...."Her own voice sounded as muffled as theirs.

"Easy, just take it easy. Don't move around." Was she moving? Every limb felt like dead weight.

"Lee?" She pushed the name through her fog. Very slowly her eyelids fluttered open. She tried to make out more than white through the blur covering her eyes. Gently, the blur cleared and she could make out distinct shapes. A woman in a white coat with a badge pinned to the pocket and a man sitting by the bed she didn't recognize. "Who the fak,...flak...frak, areyou?" She asked, her tongue clumsy in her mouth.

He had dark hair, close cropped and narrow blue eyes, thin lips that were set in a frown. Almost Lee.....but not. "My name's Karl. I was...." He cleared his throat. "I was in the car that hit you."

"Car?" She asked groggily. What car? Where was Lee? Her head was throbbing like a bitch and she just wanted to curl up in bed and have him rub the base of her neck for her like he always did when she had a migraine. This was one was a doozy.

"Ms Thrace, you were hit by a car this afternoon." The lady doctor explained. Kara's eyes shifted to the little twig of a woman. Big round eyes, pert little nose and dark hair pulled back in a ponytail.

"What?" Kara asked, wishing these frakkers would start making sense. Just then, it came to her, like a whisper in the back of her mind. Oh yeah, Thrace. Don't you remember? After your little heart to heart with mommy? Whammo!

"Ms Thrace, are you aware that you were pregnant at the time of the accident?" Lady Doc asked.

Kara's body tenses after a shudder goes through it. "Were?" She forced the word out past her lips. No.....not this.....Gods, not this. Please.

"I'm sorry but the baby is gone."

Kara shakes her head in confusion. "Gone? Where?"

The man beside her.....what was his name again?, goes pale and looks like he's about to throw up.

"No, I mean....I'm sorry but your baby is dead." The doctor replies, eyes filled with sympathy.

Kara feels a very strange sort of click in her chest and a feeling like thousands pin pricks wash over her body. "No." She says simply.

"I'm afraid-" Then the doctor stops cause Kara Thrace is laughing. Curled up on her side, laughing hysterically.

"Is there anyone you want me to call for-" The guy at her bedside....Karl, right, places a hand on her shoulder and Kara's hand draws back and punches him sharply in the nose. The I.V tears out of her hand and they're both bleeding.

"Don't touch me. I don't know you. You don't touch me, got it?" Kara orders as warm blood slides down her fingers to stain the immaculate sheets. "Now look what you did." Kara says to herself and not him. She stares at the blood as the doctor tends to Karl's broken nose. The sheets aren't so clean anymore. She's made them dirty. That's what I do, she thinks, starting to laugh again. She makes things dirty, she ruins them. Garbage is a very dirty thing, how can it be anything but dirty? She watches as the doc fixes her hand. It's supposed to hurt. But doesn't. Kara feels nothing. Garbage doesn't feel. It wrecks, it destroys. My baby, I'm sorry I wrecked you. I'm so sorry I wrecked you. Then she's laughing again, only her face is wet. Are her eyes bleeding? She curls up again when the doctor leaves with that guy and is laughing so hard she's shaking.

The sound of Kara Thraces screams follow Doctor Beauchamp and Karl Agathon out of the room.

The driver of the car that hit Kara Thrace, Jack Kennedy had panicked and run out of the car, leaving Karl, shaken but uninjured, behind. He'd called for an ambulance from the car and waited with a semi-conscious Kara in the middle of the growing crowd on the street. She repeatedly called for Lee. Her boyfriend? Karl wondered, the father of the now no-more-baby?

She finally stops screaming when the doctor injects Kara with a sedative and a few hours later she awakens again to find Karl sitting next to her. Her eyes are empty as they stare at him, and he knows it's not from the medication. "I want you to do something for me." And her voice sounds as dead as her big eyes.

*

Lee takes the stairs to Kara's small apartment two at a time. Nervous energy is pumping through him. A place of their own! They still had to iron out the details but the guy he'd spoken with had said that he could set them up with a small place on the military base just a few blocks from where Lee and Kara would be getting their flight training this September. A trade off on his Adama name, Lee knew, but hell if there's ever a time to play the 'Do you know who my father is?' card, getting a deal on a house is sure as hell it. The place is tiny, but heck, Lee and Kara are pretty small people. They don't need much.

Lee has told his father, who is home on leave for two weeks that he wants to introduce him to someone special. His father seems pleased and curious. The permanent grin on Lee's mother's face certainly adds to that. The woman's ear-splitting shriek at the news of her eldest son's engagement still rings in Lee's ears weeks later. Lee thinks his father is gonna love Kara. She's beautiful, ballsy and a hell of a pilot. Heck, Lee thinks with a laugh, she's more like his dad than Lee is himself.

Though they'll probably have to duct tape Zak's mouth shut.

Lee wants to wait until dinner tonight so that he and Kara, together, can tell his dad that they plan to marry.

He bangs vigorously on the door and nearly falls into the room when it swings open on it's own. It takes him a disoriented second to understand what he's looking at. Or not looking at would be more appropriate. The closet across the living room is open and empty. The photo Kara keeps of the two of them on her TV set is gone. The couch and bed are still there, kitchen is still stocked, but Lee feels a sickening clench in his stomach as he notices little things that are gone. Clothes, shoes, make-up tooth brush....though his extra one is still there. The jewelery box on the nightstand is gone.

That's when he sees it.

A folded piece of paper with his name on it, propped up by the digital alarm clock by the bed.

I'm sorry.

That's all.

His vision blurs and he shakes his head to clear it. Sorry about what? Lee wants to ask but he can't make his voice work. Where is she? Where is Kara....and why is all her stuff gone? Surely she didn't just....leave? "Kara." Her name comes out like a plea in the empty room. Lee's eyes fall again on the bed and he sees them just last night entwined, arching against and with each other, her soft voice whispering "I love you" in his ear as she slides, hot and wet, beneath him and her nails dig into his back. Then Lee falls to his knees and frantically lifts up the blankets to look under the bed where she keeps all her drawings. She wouldn't leave with out them.

They're gone.

Lee doesn't make it to the bathroom. He throws up on the carpet, next to the bed.

Chapter Seventeen

He's done it again. Another woman. The same name. Kara.....Kara....The woman beneath Lee glares up at him.

"What the frak did you just call me?" Her brown eyes narrow to beady slits and her passion flushed face in now shining with fury.

Lee groans in self disgust and pulls out of her and rolls onto his back. "Sorry. Got a bit distracted there." He admits.

"You shit! You lousy asshole." She's leaning up on one elbow and socking him in the shoulder and Lee is too tired to really care. He just wants her to go so he can sleep. And dream. Of her. "Son of a bitch!" The woman gets out of his bed and starts gathering her clothes. Lee closes his eyes. A shoe comes flying at his head, smacks into the his cheek. Doesn't hurt too bad.

"Well, don't you have anything to say?" She demands. Debbie, that's her name. Short black hair and small brown eyes. Tall, leggy, small breasts. Everything Kara is not. Even now, as furious as this woman is, she doesn't stir his blood the way Kara did in her gorgeous rages.

"Could you shut the light?" Lee asks and then he turns away from her and waits for the familiar slam of the door.

*

His mother sees the pain Lee buries. She always has been able to see right through him. She found him sitting in the dark in Kara's apartment after he hadn't come home for dinner. The note was clenched in his hand. He still has it. Keeps it the small velvet box that once held the ring he gave her. His father sits next to the new wifey and goes on about Lee and how well he's doing in flight school and how he'll make a hell of a pilot someday if he just applies himself a bit more. That's all Wiliiam Adama ever sees. Lee, the pilot who is my son.

Does she still have the ring? Lee wonders as he sits across from his dad at the dinner table. They're both home at the same time, a rare occurence that Lee wishes was more rare. When he's at school, he's a damn good pilot, making good money on the side giving extra tutoring to those who are a little behind in their classes. The only reason his fellow students and teachers think he's got a chip on his shoulder is because he's William Adama's son and will never be as good as his father..

At home, he's Lee, the guy Kara Thrace dumped with no explanation. Not good enough to be William Adama's son. Not good enough to be Kara Thrace's husband. Just not good enough.

He vaguely hears his dad going on about how Zak didn't do as well as he should have in the pre flight tests and Lee grits his teeth. Lee wants to tell his dad to shut up. To tell him that maybe Zak doesn't want to fly. Lee's seen his brother test scores in the law class he took last semester. Aced every single one. But William Adama dismissed that in the same way he dismissed Zak's excellence in his language classes.

Lee and Zak even had a dream once, to open up a bar together. Before Lee got up in the air by himself for the first time and Zak decided he didn't want to be left behind.

And now here Lee is, feeling as if he's the one who's been left behind. Where has Kara gone and why can't he follow?

"Whatever happened to that girl? Mary? Laura?" His father suddenly turns his attention to Lee and he nearly chokes on his beer.

Zak lowers his head after giving Lee a sympathetic grimace.

"Oh that's over. Didn't work out." Lee says, his stomach churning with the urge to vomit. He smiles stiffly.

"Too bad. It's about time you started to settle down. Got a good career ahead of you. A lot to offer the right woman." William Adama pats wifey's hand and Lee knocks over his beer into a tasteless dinner.

"Shit. Sorry." Lee apologizes rising with his dad and his step-mother to clean up the mess. At least this mess.

*

Zak has come to visit Lee at flightschool. He's going to be spending the week and re-taking the simulation exam he needs to ace to get in to the same school as Lee. He's been sharing the extra bunk in Lee's room since no one wants to room with that 'thinks-he's-better-than-everyone-else-just-cause-his-name's-Adama-kid. Lee's glad that's the impression he gives off. He wants no one getting too close. None of his friends are pilots. They know of his dad but don't really give a shit. There's Percy who is determined to start his own band even though Lee's convinced he's tone deaf.

Adso, who's very gay but wouldn't touch Lee Adama with a ten foot pole cause he's got too much daddy baggage.

Maxine who Lee's slept with a couple of times, until she fell in love with a biker guy from Picon. He got their wedding invitation yesterday.

And Mr Tott's. An old, really old man who manages the dive where Lee sometimes eats his lunch, dinner and gets very very drunk. Mr Tott's knows all about Kara. Tells Lee it's her loss and the best revenge is to the best frakking pilot he can, marry himself some sweet gal and have fat pilot babies.

Lee sometimes jokes that he's gonna buy Tott's diner from him and turn it into a bar. Tott's tells him he'd be bored shitless with a year. He belongs in the sky. Lee doesn't want to believe him, but thinks he might be right.

Lee loves to fly as much as he hates it now cause every time he's up there, he's with her. He feels Kara so strongly when he's up in the sky he sometimes wonders if she's dead and floating around his viper with him.

Part of him wants her to be dead, because then that means she can't come back to him. Because if she's alive, it means she's choosing not to come back. Doesn't want him.

It's been over a year since she disappeared and Lee's starting to think he doesn't want her to come back. Who the frak needs her anyway? If she came back now, he tells himself he'd spit in her face. Oh yeah? You didn't want me, Kara? Well guess what? Now I don't want you.

Except he does want her. Wants her so bad he aches with it every night and tries to erase her from his mind with every nameless girl he can. He stays away from the blonde's except when he's drunk. When he's drunk, all he wants is a little bit of Kara. Kara hair. Kara eyes. Kara breasts. Kara legs. Kara ass. He'll take her in bits and pieces if he can't have all of her at the same time.

And right now, Lee Adama is very drunk. He's hitting on a girl named Sara who keeps correcting him when he calls her Kara. Zak finds him at the bar outside of the city and is urging him to back off cause it looks like Sara/Kara has a boyfriend who's coming towards them and not happy.

"Hey you. What the frak do you think you're doing with my girl?" Not Happy Boyfriend demands.

"Do you mind?" Lee asks annoyed that this overgrown shmuck has interrupted him. "I'm trying to frak this lovely young woman."

"Oh shit." Zak groans behind the Not Happy Boyfriend.

"Excuse me?" Kara/Sara replies indignantly when she just had her hand on Lee's crotch.

"Lemme handle this, Kara." Lee stumbles off the stool and stands up against the Not Happy Boyfriend. Lee comes up to the middle of his chest. "Bend down a little bit, okay?" Lee askes crooking his finger at the Not Happy Boyfriend to bring him closer. He grabs Lee by the collar and lifts him off his feet. "Or that'll work too." Lee then proceeds to ball up his fist and sock Not Happy Boyfriend in the nose.

Except he misses.

Zak lets out a cry of pain and covers his bleeding nose. "Ah son a frakking bitch!" He howls, backing up and knocking into a Not Happy Customer who decides to shove back at Zak who's already Not Happy at being punched in the nose by his sibling and so he punches the Not Happy Customer who falls against someone else.

Lee, not one to waste an opportunity, brings his knee up hard up between the distracted Not Happy Boyfriend's balls.

He drops Lee, who falls unsteadily against Kara/Sara, slamming her painfully against the counter.

"Get off of me, you drunk bastard!" She shoves Lee and sends him into the middle of the crowd of people who are beating the crap out of each other.

There are a lot of Not Happy people that night at the Happy Hour Bar.

Chapter Eighteen

"What the hell kind of a callsign is Helo?" Kara asks as she looks down at the form Karl hands her.

"Karl Herman Locinus Agathon." Karl explains with a grimace of disgust.

Kara chokes on a burst of laughter.

"My dad figured the more people he named me after, the more wills I'd get into." Karl explains rolling his eyes.

They're sitting in Kara's dorm room as she gets ready for her date. She sprays her short blond locks off her face. She's kept it short for the past two years. Kara doesn't think she'll ever let it grow long again.

"I'm guessing old Herman and Locinus are still alive huh?" Kara looks at him in her mirror.

"Unfortunately. Did you fill yours out yet?" Karl asks her, glancing around the room for her form.

"Nah, I'm waiting for inspiration to strike. Maybe tonight with Jimmy Castini." Kara gives him a lascivious grin.

Karl snorts. "Not unless you plan for your callsign to be, Kara 'Can't-Find-My-Thrusters' Thrace'. "

"Maybe I'll pick, Kara 'I-Upchucked-My-First-Time-Out-Of-The-Launch' Thrace. Oh no. I'm sorry. That was you!" Kara shot back.

"Cute. Well, I'm off. Later 'Oh-Kick-Ass-Pilot' Karl rises and makes his way to the door.

"Later, Helo." Kara says with a snort.

He's nothing like Lee. Kara muses, watching the blond haired, green eyed young recruit across from her. He's all blustery big confidence. And all he talks about is flying. Did she like the moves he used today? Did she have any pointers? Did she want to do some practice runs together this summer?

Lee could talk about the mating habits of fireflies and make it sound interesting.

Kara loves to fly, but on a date, the last thing she wants is to talk about it. She tries not to remember that the reason she doesn't talk about flying on her dates is because flying is Lee's. It's the last thing that binds her to Lee and when she's up there, she feels him so vividly around her it's as if his hands are over hers on the controls, the seat is his chest against her back. Kara shivers in memory fighting the throb of pain she keeps locked away that is threatening to burst through. It'll remind her how wrong this is. How wrong it is to sit here with this man who is not Lee.

Kara picks up her third glass of wine and downs it in one gulp. Stop it, Thrace. Lee is the past, she reminds herself. How many times do you have to smacked in the face with the fact that you were never meant to be his? The Gods certainly made that clear enough when they took her baby away. She doesn't despise the Gods anymore. It took her a year and one very determined, nosy priestess to show her that the Gods were watching over and were helping her through this dark time.

She'd had a pistol in her mouth the first time she'd gotten a sign from the Gods. She'd had a dream about Lee. One so real she could almost feel him. In her dream he was calling for her. Even though she was right there in the room with him, he couldn't see her. Then her mother came and laughing at her, told her that Kara was dead and that was why Lee couldn't find her. To Lee, Kara was dead. Kara had woken up in a cold sweat, curled up on her bed, sobbing in anguish. She never thought the pain would fade. Kara didn't know what pain was sharper. The loss of of the baby she never got to know, or the loss of the man who was the other half of her soul. Either way, Kara Thrace was broken and felt she would never be fixed. What was the point of going on when all she'd feel was pain? So she grabbed the gun she'd bought after a few of the women on the school grounds had been raped and sat there with the pistol in her mouth, willing herself to end this agony that was now her life.

And then the door to her glove compartment dropped opened. Little Seargant Buck fell out and dropped on the floor of her car. Kara had sat in her car for three hours, holding the little toy soldier and crying. There was something in that little figurine that spoke to her, spoke of a tiny glimmer of hope, of someday. Someday she was gonna be strong. Someday she was not gonna hurt anymore. The Gods wanted her to live. To live and be strong and do great things with her life. Kara didn't feel she was there yet at all, but she still woke up everyday. That was something.

"What do you say we get out of here, hmmm?" Jimmy asks stroking her fingers. She shivers with the appropriate physical response but her heart shuts off. Sex is always like that for her now. She responds physically but somewhere inside of her, a tiny click goes off, shutting the door with Lee Adama's name on it

The first time she had sex after Lee, she had thrown up afterwards. She didn't know if it was because she was drunk off her ass or because she had felt him there in the room with them the whole time. So now she locks Lee away like her dirty little secret. Only Karl, excuse me, Helo, Kara thinks with a small grin, Jimmy thinks is directed at him, knows about Lee and the baby that wasn't.

Jimmy is a bad lover. His technique is jerky and he has no rhythm. She likens it to his flying technique proving her point that you really can tell how a man fraks by how he flies.

Lee flew like music. And he made love to her the same way. Even at his roughest, he still made sure she was right with him. Jimmy takes her roughly and comes before she does. He drops on top of her and Kara stares at the top of his sweaty hair in disbelief.

"Un-be-frakking-lievable. Get off me." Kara seethes pushing at his shoulder. Oh, he is not!

Snore.

"Son of a bitch." Kara struggles to get out from underneath Jimmy and shudders in revulsion when she finally manages it. All she wants is a shower and a good night of dreamless sleep. She spots the mini calendar on her desk that Karl when she first got her placement at the school.

Well, when he helped her get her placement, Kara admits. Wanting to get as far away from Lee as possible, Kara let Karl help her enroll the flight school he attended on Saggitarion. Dating the director's daughter had it's advantages. She owed Karl so much. And yet when she tried to pay him back with her body, having no money, Karl wouldn't hear of it and turned her down. Their relationship wasn't a sexual one and Kara was so very grateful for that. Karl honestly wanted nothing more from her than to be her friend.

Kara freezes when she sees the date. Oh Gods.....Oh my Gods....No. Not today. She slips a shirt on and grabs the calender, a growing lump of disgust burning in her stomach. Kara had chosen a day to celebrate what would have been her baby's birthdate had it survived. Karl didn't know the date. It was something she kept to herself. She'd figured out the month would have been August and chosen a random day. The fourth. Today. Her son, she imagined it was a boy. Jamie, after the little boy who had stolen her heart in an instant, would have been two years old today.

Here she was, on her dead child's birthday frakking some asshole. Right. No wonder the Gods took her child. Some mother she was. She reaches over the bed and punches Jimmy firmly in the shoulder.

"Get up and get out." Kara demands, shaking. He simply grunts. "Dammit, wake up, you frak!

"Wha...?" He groans, eyes fluttering open as Jimmy rolls himself onto his back.

"Get out." Kara wraps her arms around herself to try and stop her trembling. She was gonna be sick and she'd rather this asshole not be here to witness it.

"In...mmmorning." He grumbles, closing his eyes again.

"NO! Dammit. I want you out of here! NOW!" She screams. He pays her no mind and in seconds is snoring again. She reaches for her gun under the mattress and fires a shot into the wall, right above Jimmy's head.

"What the frak?" Jimmy jolts awake and falls off the bed. He stares up at her, wide eyed with confusion and terror. "What the hell is your problem?"

"Get out of my room!" She snaps, pointing the gun at him.

Karl bursts into the room. "What the-?"

Jimmy knocks into him on his way out."Keep her the frak away from me. She's frakking nuts man! Crazy!"

"Geez, Thrace. Put the gun down!" Karl says reaching around to grip her wrist and lower the pistol to the ground.

"I know my callsign, Karl." She whispers as he leads her to the bed to lie down.

"Trigger?" Karl asks kneeling by her bed while tucking her in, her tears falling onto his hands.

"No. Starbuck."

Karl stops and his eyebrows draw together in confusion."That's not even a word.What the hell kind of a callsign is Starbuck?"

Kara leans over the edge and throws up on his thighs.

Chapter Nineteen

Kara is 24 when she meets Zak Adama for the second time. Her flight status revoked three times already, Kara strikes a deal with her superior to avoid a sixth trip to jail. She has kicked the snooty ass of one of the higher-up's nieces after the girl makes some disparaging remarks about one of the newer recruits, a young girl named Becky who has the bad luck of coming from the wrong side of the tracks.

Invited to attend a dinner with the son of her superior officer, Kara tries to ignore the little brat sitting across from her. Kelly. Really, with a name like that, Kara can't really be blamed for her actions. The little bitch reminds her too much of the girl who kept trying to get into Lee's pants when they were younger. Kelly will be starting flight school next month and Kara is thrilled she's finished her 1 year term training nuggets to earn some extra money. It was off to Officer Candidate School for her.

Or would have been if she hadn't beat the crap out of Kelly Stone in the restaurant parking lot.

Becky had barely passed Kara's class and they've been talking about her at dinner. Kelly invites Kara to come outside with her for a smoke Then Kelly says the words that get Kara's back up.

"Really, considering where the little twit's from it's a miracle she even got in."

Captain Montgomery offers to get the charges dropped against Kara if she agrees to one more year as flight instructor.

Kelly's father wants her to get the best training and Kara's excellent technique makes her one of the most sought after instructors on the campus.

Sometimes, being the best sucked lemons.

Kara was doing her best to ignore the little bitch, focusing her attention on the less irritating of the students. Too bad Kelly Stone shows an obscene amount of promise. In the first week, she's picked up the concepts easily and blew most of the other students out of of the sky in their first sim run yesterday.Kara's writing some notes in purple chalk on the wide green board, when the door swings open and rushed footsteps make their way towards her. Latecomers.

"You better have a good excuse, nugget. It doesn't pay to get on my bad side as you should know by-" The words stick in her throat as she turns to give the late student hell. She briefly wonders if she looks as pale as he does.

"Kara?" He asks, his voice a shocked croak. The other students turn to look at the new nugget with growing interest.

She grips the edges of the podium to keep from falling. "Frak me." Kara murmurs. Then, remembering she has a class to teach, she licks her lips and straightens her spine, forcing her eyes away from Lee Adama's brother.

"We'll pick this back up in a minute. Can I see you outside?" She doesn't look at Zak but knows that he's following her out into the hallway.

"What the frak are you doing here?" Kara hisses at him. He's taller now. How old is he? Nineteen? No. Twenty. His birthday was in May. He's broader than Lee was when he was around the same age. Lee... The name slices through her with deadly ferocity and Kara has to hold onto the wall. Her nails scrape a bit of the old pale green paint off.

"Where have you been? Frak, Kara. Does Lee know where-" His brown eyes are taking in all of her as if he can't believe she's standing before him.

"No! And you're gonna shut your frakking mouth about it, all right?" She snaps.

Zak jerks back, unprepared for the violence in her tone. "Kara, I can't just-"

"What are you doing here? Why aren't you in Caprica?" It almost comes out as a wail.

"I wanted to be able to learn to fly without having Lee held up to me all the time. Being at the same school he graduated from would have made that impossible." Zak explains, his eyes full of questions. "You know he graduated early? He's in his second year of OFC-"

Kara wants to know. Wants to know everything. Every single minute Lee Adama has spent apart from her. But she cuts Zak off quickly. Down that road lay insanity.

"I want you out of my class." She pokes his chest with her forefinger. A gesture she remembers used to piss him off when she'd do it to tease him. They both remember. Zak narrows his eyes and right then he looks too much like Lee and Kara wants to cry.

"First of all, I didn't know it was your class. My sheet says Tracey on it." He shows her the admissions form.

"Mrs Monti is blind as a bat. Her days are numbered." Kara explains trying to remember to breathe.

"Why, Kara? Why the hell did you just leave like that? Do you have any idea what that did to Lee? You wrecked him. Completely wr-" Zak asks and Kara can't look at him anymore.

"I'll get you transferred to Mr Hatfield's Basic Flight. Go down to Mrs Monti-"

"Like hell." Zak snaps and now it's Kara that jerks in surprise. She's seen him depressed, cheerful, surly, but Kara doesn't remember ever seeing him well and truly angry. Like now. "You owe me some answers, for my brother's sake. What the hell happened that you had to ditch him without so much as a goodbye?"

"I left a note." She replies weakly.

"Lee never mentioned a note. But it must not have been very clear because he's spent the past five years wondering what the hell he did to make you dump him like a sack of garbage-"

"Stop it! Gods, just stop!" Kara pleads wrapping her arms around herself.

Zak's eyes soften and he shakes his head. "We have to talk about this, Kara. I'm not gonna let you ignore me. If you transfer me, I'm getting on the phone to Lee right now and telling him where you are, got it?"

Kara's eyes widen. "You can't!"

"We'll get something to eat after class. How's that?"

"It's not a good idea for me to get too chummy with my students." Kara replies. For once, she's more than happy to follow this rule.

"Fine. We'll go some place out of town." Zak suggests.

"For frak sakes..." Kara bursts feeling trapped.

"Kara, if you ever loved my brother, you'll meet me at the Royce tonight at 7. Got it? Now we should get back in there before we give the other students more to wonder about than we already have." He held the door to her class open and Kara forced herself to walk through it, being very careful not to to touch Zak.

It takes a whole bottle of wine for her to come up with enough half truths and out right lies to satisfy him.

Fear of commitment.

Not good enough.

Different worlds.

Her feelings had changed. (Yes. If anything she loved Lee more now than she ever had.)

Didn't want to hurt him.

That one makes Zak choke on his steak."You think it hurt him less cause you were too much of a coward to say all that to his face?" He asks her, eyes wide in disbelief.

Kara lowers her gaze and runs her finger along the edge of her plate. It hurt me less. She thinks selfishly. If she'd had to look at Lee when she ended their relationship it would have killed her. Not to mention that Lee would have seen right through her shit and demand to know the real reason. I'm sorry I killed your son. Our son. Kara shakes her head. She's certain whatever pain Lee had been in when she disappeared, it was nothing compared to the agony he would have felt if he'd known about the baby.

She is very drunk by the end of the evening and Zak drives her back to her room. He carries Kara to her bed and untangles her hands from around his neck and Kara protests being released. He's so warm and Kara hasn't felt anything but cold in so long. She nuzzles his skin. He smells like Lee. The same cologne. Kara remembers that scent filling every pore so that she could still smell Lee on her skin days later.

"You're gonna have a hell of a hangover, come morning." Not Lee, Kara tells herself, trying to straighten the tangle of her thoughts. The voice is different, deeper. Zak. That's right. It's Zak here. Not Lee. Kara squeezes her eyes shut, wanting to see Lee when she opens them again. Still not Lee.

Then Zak brushes his lips across her forehead before leaving her.

Just like Lee.

 

 

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