Word Count:
Date: 10/26/05
Series: Pre-mini
Rating: M+
Category: Character
Pairing/Focus: Kara Thrace
Warnings: A lot of cussing, but it's the damn military, okay?
Violence? Well a couple people get punched, but I SAID Starbuck was in it, so
you KNEW that, right? Some smutty thoughts...not too many!
Summary: You know how military people get with the war
stories...Sometimes even Kara gets bored and lonely and just wants to drop the 'tude
for a bit. She's a natural story-teller, with plenty of experiences to draw on.
She's really much sweeter than people think, but she's also a LOT darker than
people think. This is the beginning of the Legend of Starbuck, and it's more
innocent than people might believe of her...
Spoilers/Disclaimers: Ron Moore shares nicely with others!
Thanks Ron! Starbuck is the only 'buck involved, I don't get any money, so send
me love and praise if you wish to reward me!
Inspiration: As usual, the lovely and formidable Starbuck possessed me to write this, I'm not going to call her a muse because she isn't that girly and I know better than to tick her off. She thinks being a Fury is cooler 'cause at least they have wings and kick serious ass.
***Special thanks to Nancy for encouraging me to write this one and being the bouncing board for my wild ideas and Tessa is still working on the Beta so if this is formatted goofy, you'll know I did it!
***Special thanks to Nancy for encouraging me to write this one and being the bouncing board for my wild ideas and Tessa is still working on the Beta so if this is formatted goofy, you'll know I did it!
The Beginning of a Legend
-----------------------------
Per orders, a recalcitrant Starbuck reported to the brig, scowling at the, "What? Again?" look of disbelief on the young Marine guard's ultra clean-shaven face.
"What's the charge, Sir..?" he asked, sounding somehow...resigned?
She brusquely signed in with a few well-practiced flourishes and a couple checkmarks in the appropriate little boxes on the incident report,
"I publicly struck Colonel Tigh after a verbal altercation," she stated almost matter-of-factly...
"Nice...." he sighed wearily, rolling his eyes. "Uh...Sir," he added hastily.
"I assume you know the procedure by now, Lieutenant?" his voice became briskly professional.
Kara stalked over to the enclosure she usually favored and faced the bars, placing her hands wide apart high above her head and spreading her feet shoulder-width apart.
Scrupulously following procedure, (Like she might attack him or something? She rolled her eyes, Marines!) he unlocked and opened the cell door, gesturing her inside with ironic courtesy,
"Enjoy your stay, Sir."
Once incarcerated, she began pacing, counting steps silently, 1,2,3,4,5,6 -turn- 1,2,3,4,5,6 -turn- 1,2,3...
"Sir?" From where he was sitting behind the desk, the guard hesitantly broke the silence, "I was just wondering if I could ask you a question, off the record?"
"What IS it?" she muttered through clenched teeth, trying her best to simmer down from the earlier fight.
*Do NOT kill the nice young man, Kara - Do NOT kill the nice...*
"No disrespect, Sir, but it seems like I spend a bit of time around you lately... I don't have anything against you - you've always been perfectly compliant in here...but WHY are you always doing this to yourself?"
There is a distinctly tigerish gleam in her narrowed green eyes as she growls, "Do you REALLY think that's any of your business, Corporal?"
"No Sir, it's not," he acknowledges with surprising respect, "but you just don't seem the type to get into a fight without damn good reason, especially right before the decommissioning ceremony...There has to be something that..."
"Do we HAVE to talk about this? Because I really DON'T see what that would accomplish," she stated flatly, knowing at this point that her lodging a complaint, no matter how justifiable, would only make matters worse. Doing an about-face, she retreats sullenly to the illusory "privacy" of the bunk.
The guard rises from his seat and comes to stand at the bars, "Permission to speak freely, Sir?"
Kara lunges up from the bunk like a striking snake, but the earnest look on his young face stops her cold for some odd reason...She snarls, "IF YOU MUST, get it over with! WHAT?"
"Sir, a minute ago you were pacing around in there like crazy...I KNOW you're probably bored out of your skull. Hell, I would be...and I wish I could sneak you a deck of cards or something, but I can't... I'm just trying to help pass the time is all..."
At her highly dubious expression he nevertheless continued sincerely,
"I guess what I'm trying to say, Sir, is there's really no reason you have to just sit and "suffer in silence," maybe it would help to just vent, or even talk about something else? You outta know I wouldn't say anything about it to anyone..."
"And I gotta tell you, Sir, I get bored too...you know? We could just...talk a little, if you want? Unless you have something better to do?" he smiled disarmingly sweetly at her.
Amused at his fumbling bravery she decides to meet him where he stands outside her bars,
"Allright, Corporal... Venner, right?" "Let's chat...What would you like to talk about, besides me?"
"Yessir! That's me!...and we don't HAVE to talk about you, Sir...if you don't want to, but I really WAS serious about what I asked before..."
She laughs wryly, "About why do I do this? Well, probably for the same reasons as most people, sometimes it's from drinking...sometimes someone just pisses me off...No big secret, sorry to disappoint..."
"Well, Hell," he says, forgetting the "Sir," but she doesn't really care, "The drinking I can understand, been there myself..." he shudders at the blurry rememberances...
"But YOU'RE not drunk, Lt." and suddenly he seems uncomfortably knowing as he looks her directly in the eyes.
"Maybe I'm just a delinquent," she fires back defensively, "Have you considered that I might LIKE fighting? I'm a screw-up, kid, from WAY back! So keep your distance, it might be catching!"
She winks at him with sarcastic humor, but her mouth is twisted wrong for the expression, pulling downwards at the edges.
His young/old eyes aren't fooled. "A delinquent, huh? Just...like fighting?"
"LOVE it...!" she assured him with an insolent smirk.
His grin is conspirational..."Okay, you can shoot me later if you want, Sir, but I HAVE to ask, do YOU actually know how many times you've BEEN in jail?"
*She SHOULD reach through the bars and strangle the insubordinate little (well, BIG) idiot! So why isn't the question pissing me off?* she wonders...
Maybe she's just finally conceeded that she might as well flush what's LEFT of her reputation out an airlock, or down the cell commode...*Frak it!*
She finds herself answering him, "Honestly? No, probably not...I haven't tried counting, for one thing... but the alcohol consumption alone should've killed off some of those brain cells I wasn't using for anything important anyway..." she admits.
Her half-smile slips away as she murmurs to herself, "Sometimes it's better to forget..."
"Party girl, huh? Learn that along with the rest of the Academy curriculum?"
*Pushing your luck, aren't ya guy?*
"Nope!" her smile was back, but it wasn't pleasant, "I was already well on my way, thank you!"
Her half-smile was tolerant, like a patiently waiting feline as the kid pursued the topic, oblivious to his increasing peril...
"Oh Gods!" he groaned, shaking his head ruefully.
"Trou-ble...! Just how young WERE you the first time you got busted?"
At her ominously raised eyebrow he hastily explained, "No offense, Sir, I just couldn't help wondering..." he trailed off, half-pleadingly.
She heard the *Please don't EAT me?* inplicit in his voice and pressed the point home...
"As I recall, Corporal, you've forgotten to call me "Sir" at least -three- times in the last five minutes of this bizarre little discussion, WHY are you bothering now?"
"I'm SORRY Sir!" he's at rigid attention instantly, "I just...What do YOU want me to do, Sir?"
*NOW he was getting nervous, smart boy!* she applauded him internally.
*Oh Hell...She just didn't FEEL like playing with his nerves, he was a nice guy and at least he meant well... and even SHE got tired of maintaining the rep all the time!*
Her voice smoothed down to nearly pleasant,"How much time left on your shift, Venner?"
"I just came on thirty minutes before you showed up, Sir, I got nuthin' but time," he offered hopefully, with a shrug of large-muscled shoulders.
"Drop the "Sir," for now kid, it's too damn much like work at the moment." She sat down on the floor, motioning for him to sit as well...He dragged over a chair for himself as she made herself comfortable, leaning against the bars in the corner to stretch her legs out lengthwise.
"The first time I got arrested...that WAS memorable," her acid-laced saccharine voice was typically self-mocking.
"Tell you a story, huh?" she snickered, "Well, it's your LUCKY day, Corporal...I think I WILL tell you that story... FIRST, you have to give me one of your smokes, I KNOW you have some - AND you'll promise me on your sorry carcass that it doesn't leave this room or you WILL die an -ugly- death! Swear?"
"I swear, Sir," he grinned, looking absurdly like a giant 10 year old boy, as he fished out his pack and lit a cigarrette, passing it to her through the bars, "With a warning like that, this HAS to be good!"
"Well," she began, exhaling her first puff from the cigarette languorously, "You probably won't believe all this when I tell it to you, but I swear on my Viper every single word of it's absolutely true!"
"AND, you smartass..." she flicked a cigarette ash at her rapt audience of one," I wasn't nearly as young as YOU obviously think the first time I got arrested either! Just because I said I was already drinking, -doesn't- mean I was dumb enough to get CAUGHT!"
"Believe it or not, the very FIRST time I was ever arrested...I was a first year Cadet on scholarship at the Academy...so I was -actually- being VERY careful NOT to get into any trouble and frak up my one good chance to fly..."
"I also had a friend there, Lee, who was a year ahead of me. He was SUCH a tightass about keeping me on task and out of mischief - I doubt I even so much as -sneezed- without him knowing about it for the first half of that semester! He was worse than a Dad!"
"People started thinking we were dating just because we were always giving each other crap and hanging out... Hell, Lee and his brother Zak and I knew each other from a few summers together as kids...We'd always been like that, just friends."
"We were the kind of friends who liked to torment each other all the time by pulling atrocious pranks and competing ferociously on almost anything - just to have the pleasure of mocking the loser unmercifully, but friends...People just didn't get it."
Her guard raised an eyebrow silently, either in disbelief that they really were "just friends," or in skepticism that the antics she described could be considered at all friendly!
*Doesn't matter...* She stubbed out the cigarette on the floor of her cell.
"Apparently, there was a fund-raiser every year for the Scholarship Fund, where you could pay to have people arrested on trumped-up charges and brought before a kangaroo court with pretend lawyers and a "Judge." The jury was made up of anyone who was on lunch or break or could make some time to come watch it and heckle the prisoners...A perfect opportunity to harrass the nuggets, of course...so it had become an Academy tradition."
He nodded, some hazing was always expected...all part of the experience in any Colonial military branch...
"Naturally, being first year, I wasn't told anything about it - so I was very surprised to say the least, when the MPs came into my work area to "arrest" me on a charge of, get this... "Insubordinate mouthiness! ME?" She grinned cheekily, remembering it...
He smiled too...*She probably was!*
"I was duly notified that I was being taken into custody - pending a trial - because someone had paid to have me arrested on the charge. I would be allowed to meet my attorney in court, where I could decide if I wanted to pay the fine assigned, or attempt to argue the case. If I was declared "guilty," I might face either jail time or a potentially larger "donation" to bail myself out!"
"The whole time he was reading my "civil rights," all I could think was, "SOMEONE is gonna GET IT for this!"
I had a test scheduled for later in the afternoon and this bullshit sounded like it would probably take quite a while, if not ALL DAY! Frak! I JUST KNEW I was going to miss the test for sure!"
"But they hauled me off anyway, along with quite a group of us they collected from that building. It wasn't just nuggets they nabbed either, there were 2nd year Cadets, supervisors, even an instructor! Everyone else seemed to think it was hysterically funny."
"While we were being "escorted" in a group out to the waiting squad cars with our hands cuffed in front of each of us, I had an idea that sounded like TOO much fun!... I was pretty sure they couldn't actually getme in trouble for it, since I knew it was all a joke,so I decided to play the game back! They probably hadn't really thought about anyone resisting... so I was going to try to escape!" *huge grin!*
"The cuffs were really loose and I happen to have very small, flexible wrists and hands...and we weren't even cuffed to -each other- at all, so I just slipped the cuffs right off and tapped the officer in front of me on the shoulder politely..."
"Excuse me, you dropped these..." I handed him the cuffs and began to casually walk away...."
"WAIT-A-MINUTE!!!! You! - The blonde! CADET! Back here! NOW!"
"Heeeee!" she laughs, looking more impishly childlike than the disbelieving Corporal could have imagined the ballsy pilot was capable of being...
"Well, I tried..." I figured, so I let him cuff me again and they crammed us all into the back of three squad cars and started driving us to the base jail..."
"I'm looking down at my hands while everyone is chattering, and I noticed that the MP hadn't put the cuffs on very tight the second time either, not TOO tight anyway...It was all for fun, so he probably wasn't really trying to.
By the time we pulled up, I had them off again. I got out of the car with the last group, dropping the cuffs over the front seat so I wouldn't have them on me if anyone looked..."
She was truly enjoying the scandalized expressions on the guard's face, hearing about the ineptitude of his law enforcement bretheren...
"I just kept my hands together and walked close to the person ahead of me, hoping to sift myself out of the group in the hallway inside and blend. From all the cars parked, it had to be packed in there...If anyone asked me, I'd tell them I wasn't arrested, see? No cuffs."
She could swear the overgrown kid almost looked indignant, like she'd admitted to plotting the same trick on him!
*Oh, shit...this is fun!*
"Anyway, I didn't get to try it because halfway to the entrance, one of the guys must've been watching me a little closer now, because he noticed I'd slipped the cuffs again. Frak it!"
The Marine couldn't help but look a little smug as she told him the officer had put -another- pair on her, TIGHTLY this time and he'd been playing the tough-guy role to the hilt, growling intimidatingly at her to "Leave-those-on!"
"So," she continued reminiscing, "I tried to act suitably subdued..."
*SNORT* from her audience, and "Yeah, right!" under his breath.
"We were all led to this big conference room at the far end of the hallway, where we joined another group of people already waiting for their trial ticket to come up. In all, there must have been about twenty five of us, I think."
"Everyone's cuffs were taken off. A -mistake- I assure you!" she winked wickedly at him. "The officers left, closing the door to the room. There we all were, great, lovely. I was pretty surprised there were so many detainees... This crap really WAS going to take ALL day!"
"Since people weren't offered the chance to plea bargain out until they went to court, where they'd -finally- meet their lawyer, we had no choice but to sit around waiting and talking...but I was insanely BORED and thinking about missing that test was driving me nuts!"
"So I seriously started thinking that maybe I should go ask the guard at the door if I could go to the bathroom - just so I could try to escape again if there was a window or something in there, or maybe an exit door close by... It'd be frakkin' great if I could manage it, and maybe I'd even be able to sneak back in time to still take my test!"
The young Marine just shook his head at her with a smirk, already knowing without a doubt that particular line of escape would fail!
*Been tried, lady - TOO many times, NO WAY IN HELL!*
"By then I was determined, because you know they trained us to -never- accept being a hostage, to always try to escape...and it probably sounds really paranoid or stupid, but I was starting to think of it as a personal challenge, kind of a self-test to see if I could do it..."
"Whoever the frak had paid to get me locked up, was going to get their money's worth of trouble, BIG time! I WAS going to escape, just to be a pain in the ass about it! Besides, this was starting to be...FUN!"
A roll of his eyes and a disapproving little twist to his lips was her only response...*Naughty, naughty!*
"Well, I knocked on the door, and I waited...but no one answered. So I tried the handle and was VERY surprised to find wasn't locked...To be safe, I turned it slowly so nobody outside would think I was trying anything funny...just in case. I cracked open the door a little bit to peek out and ask... but there wasn't anybody there!"
The guard's jaw went slack, "Naw!"
"Yup!" she giggled, drumming her feet on the floor, "NO ONE was even guarding the door! And I'm thinkin', "OOOOOH! I just got a BAD idea!!!"
The young man smacked a hand to his forehead..."Oh Gods..." he muttered with his eyes closed in denial, "you didn't...?"
"The Hell I didn't!" she shot back with perverse pride, "I -carefully- closed the door until it was open just a crack and kept my hand on the knob... I turned around and told everyone, "Shhhh! Hush up and listen to me!"
"I whispered that I'd just checked the door, and it was NOT locked, AND there wasn't a guard AT ALL!!! Wouldn't it be funny as Hell if we all took off?!"
"Oh CRAP! Everyone was DYING, cracking up and trying to stifle each other to keep QUIET!!!"
"People started raising hands to count themselves in, and within seconds, we'd ALL decided to run for it! I mean, REALLY - what could they do to us? Catch us again?"
"So we ALL bunched up, right against the door, and I peeked out again VERY slowly...there was STILL no one watching us...I held up the hand that wasn't on the doorknob and I silently finger-counted, 1 - 2 - 3!"
BOOM!
"We BUSTED through that door like an invasion force and TOOK OFF in a big herd down that LONG-ass hallway towards the exit door!!!!"
It's easy for her to see the Marine isn't sure whether to SCREAM at the sheer STUPIDITY, or laugh his ass off...! Deep, strangled-sounding chuckles herald his loss of professional control over his sense of humor!
*It's funny, dammit!* he justifies, *painfully funny! Those screw-ups got what they deserved for being lax - and SHE'S a kill!*
All the same, the Marine resolves to himself *Never, EVER again assume Starbuck won't pull something. HE, at least, is NOT stupid.*
"Well SOMEHOW, they actually managed to round up every single one of us... but it wasn't easy and we'd definitely gotten them back, but GOOD!"
"So...back into the room we all go... and they LOCKED the door this time..."
*Nice to know even THOSE idiots learned eventually!*
"We were all still laughing and trying to catch our breaths, so I sat down for a minute...and when I looked back up from the floor, I was looking directly at ANOTHER door! We don't usually think about it, except for disaster drills, but as YOU know, in a military installation, every room is USUALLY required to have TWO doors. Right? Okay then..."
"The other door was on the SIDE wall, which meant it was either a frakking broom closet and I'd have to be -furious- OR it would lead into another office...which SHOULD lead....BACK OUT INTO THE HALL!"
"Hmmm," the woman in front of him put one finger up to her jaw dramatically, as if she were pondering something...
"Maybe I should go take a little look-see...?"
"I WONDER if they remembered to lock it?
Ooops! THEY DIDN'T!!!! And -what- have we behind HERE boys n' girls?
A VERY nice office! Woo-hoo!!!"
"Now you're probably wondering why I didn't just sneak out alone and try something a bit more subtle, but they ALL knew what I looked like now, so I'd probably be nabbed the instant they saw me AND of course I owed it to my fellow POWs to help them escape. Besides, someone might tattle if we didn't all go."
"Even though running out in a group wasn't very sneaky, I figured the guard - if there WAS one - would be watching the FRONT door anyway. SOMEONE would have a better chance of getting by if they had to chase down EVERYONE...and they'd NEVER think we'd try it AGAIN!!!! Bwa-hah-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!!"
She did a pretty good impression of the classic evil, maniacal laugh and he took a mental note: *Remember, Starbuck is EVIL!*
"So I whispered the idea to everybody again and we all voted to go for it! Boo-yah! As we all snuck into the side office, I got the hallway door ready and..."
"READY-SET-GO!!! We're ALL sprinting for the door again! I got within SIX feet! I have NO idea how, but they -still- caught all of us again! Mainly, I'd say it was due to all the "good citizens" lining the hall to watch the "hearings," the nosy bastards!"
"Of course, they put us all BACK into the room, and THIS time, they sat us in the chairs all around the long conference table and cuffed each of our hands to another person on either side through the closed space under the chair arms. In spite of it though, we were all STILL snickering!"
"Ah man!" Venner was laughing victoriously, "BUSTED!"
"Oh, REEAALLY?" she asked him with an imperiously arched eyebrow..."Why would you think I -stopped- trying?"
"Well, what the Hell could you do then?" he asked her, in clear disbelief.
"Listen and learn! I kid you not, within TWO minutes of the door closing, I was out of the damn cuffs again! Mind you, by now my hands were getting a little raw, but I still managed...and the people at the table were cheering me on!"
"Unfortunately, the "Powers That Be" thought they'd better move up the trial time for the "troublemaker," so they came back for me almost right away and caught me in the act of trying to figure out how to get the side door open again!"
"You're incorrigible!" the Marine laughed "I bet their faces were priceless!"
"Oh, they were!" she confirmed, "And trust me, the word "exasperated" doesn't BEGIN to cover it!"
"Slapped in cuffs, AGAIN, I was lead into the courtroom and -locked- to a chair. I was looking around, wondering what I could do now as I waited for my "defense attorney," to come speak to me, but I didn't get a single WORD with him before the gavel brought the room to order... I guess after all my hi-jinks I was NOT going to be offered a chance to plea bargain..."
"No representation, I was OPPRESSED!" She claimed with theatrical pathos...
"Can't say I blame 'em..." came the sardonic reply.
"The judge read the charge, "Insubordinate mouthiness," remember?
He asked me what my plea was..."
"You know what I did?..."
"I pled innocent with a -completely- straight face."
"WHAT?!"
"I did!" she confirmed, laughing at his shock "and when the judge asked me WHY I thought someone would charge me with the offence, I acted -painfully- shy...! I mean terrified! Seriously, I was barely whispering...and I would hardly even look up at him... I figited nervously with my hands...I said that whoever did it was probably teasing me and I told him the people I worked with liked to make fun because I was so quiet..."
"Had any of these people ever actually MET you?" he was incredulous.
"No," she shook her head, "at least the members of the court hadn't, I don't think so..."
"Anyway, this room, with probably a hundred or more people in it...got -completely- quiet. As I glanced up, I spotted Lee sitting in with the jury. His jaw was literally ON THE FLOOR because he could NOT believe they were buying it!"
"It was a frakking -masterpiece- I tell you, and I SWEAR the judge believed me... He actually had the gavel up to dismiss the charge - and THAT'S when the prosecuter, the bastard, JUMPED out of his seat, THREW his clipboard on the floor and yelled, "But SIR! She tried to -escape- FIVE times!"
She patiently waited for the Corporal to get over his attack of gut-wrenching mirth...
"Y'Okay now? Okay..."
"The entire room ERUPTED, shouting -roaring- with laughter! I cracked up too! I couldn't help it! Of course, my worthless excuse for an "attorney" said nothing at all in my defense - not even a single objection - as the prosecuter gave everyone a detailed account of my entire exploits!"
"Even Lee was absolutely stunned at my brass! He was laughing hysterically along with the rest of the room; I honestly wondered if the man would pee himself, the frakker! My BUDDY, Lee," she sneered, "sitting in the jury box, starts chanting "GUILTY-GUILTY!" so then, of course, ALL the other jurors did it too!"
"Needless to say, I was summarily sentenced to do time, no bail "donation," amount offered, no parole."
"Cadet Thrace, report directly to JAIL!"
"I think I'd have been "hung by the neck until dead" if they'd had the option!"
The poor Corporal appears to be having a hard time breathing, there are tears in his eyes from laughing so hard... She's laughing too, it WAS funny as Hell!
"Allright-allright!" she waves her hands at him, "I'm NOT done!" she gasps as she fights back her giggles. "This is the BEST part!"
"My -good buddy- Lee, looked just a LITTLE too smug watching me get condemned and he WAS the one that started chanting "GUILTY"...The more I thought about it, the more it added up, the charge even SOUNDED like something he would say!"
"Oh, he's gonna GET it!" I swore to myself,"I'm paying his ass back for this! I wouldn't do something like this to HIM...! Well, maybe NOW I would!"
"And then it hit me; maybe I COULD pay him back, RIGHT NOW, in the same coin...Oh yeah! NASTY!"
"Turning on the puppy-dog sad eyes, I asked the guards on the way to my cell if I could have my "one phone call" first, so I could tell an instructor why I was missing my test and re-schedule it."
"They led me into a room, one closed the door and the other walked me over to a small booth with a chair and a phone. I sat down and he walked back over to talk to the guy at the door while I made my call...perfect!"
"Okay, do you know Lt. Agathon, Corporal?" she asks.
"Yes, Sir, we've met - his callsign's Helo, right?!"
"Yup, that's him... Helo was in my class, but he didn't really know Lee personally, they pretty much ran in different crowds...Actually, Lee was pretty much his OWN company...Usually, he wasn't much of a partier."
"Luckily, I got ahold of Helo right away and told him how Lee had gotten me locked up and made me miss my test, which he thought was the funniest damn thing ever, of course! You men!" she glared at the Marine as if he'd been present at the time.
"I totally begged him though, to please-PLEASE go RIGHT NOW and find out how to make CERTAIN Lee got arrested too! I promised to pay him back however many Cubits it took the MINUTE I got out and I'd owe him a HUGE favor! I just HAD to get him back for this one!"
"I knew exactly what I wanted to charge him with too!"
"When I told Helo the charge and the reason behind it, he was SO proud of how -rotten- it was that he wouldn't even take me up on the favor! He promised to let our instructor know why I missed the test, so I didn't get in trouble, but he was pretty sure they all knew about the fundraiser anyway...Helo's a really great guy to have your back!"
"Mission accomplished, my vengance assured, I happily went to my cell and took a nap!"
Corporal Venner could not -believe- the woman's leadership! He'd always respected her as a pilot because he KNEW it was the toughest job and she was rumored to be potentially the BEST pilot in the fleet, even BEFORE most of humanity was decimated!
But even as a Cadet in the midst of her first "arrest," she'd made plans, gotten cooperation, taken action, thought on her feet, gracefully accepted failure - but never conceeded defeat, and strategized revenge on her opponent on the way to her incarceration! *DAAAMMMN, what a woman!*
He just hoped to the Gods he NEVER got her mad at him!
She was continuing with the story...
"Since we just BARELY managed to get the charge added to the fundraiser late in the day, Lee actually ended up being the last arrest. I was just sorry I couldn't be there to see his face, but Helo was sitting with the jury and he told me everything later anyway...and the revenge was SWEET!"
"When they brought Lee into court and the charge was read,"Carrying a concealed weapon..."
Everyone in the jury made a big deal of it, booing and heckling him...Some of the people there knew him, or knew OF him because of his Dad and he was always being SO perfect that it was hard to RESIST giving him a hard time! The poor man didn't stand a chance! Mostly though, it was just because he was the LAST case, so you KNOW they were gonna get him somehow, regardless..."
"Helo told me that the Judge requested clarification on the charge, since "carrying a concealed weapon" was a rather serious offence. Specifically, he wanted to know what kind of weapon the prisoner had concealed?"
"The prosecutor read the "complaint form" and announced that the weapon in question was, in fact,"a HUGE stick."
The Marine laughed, "Okay, I get it, he's concealing a big stick in his pants, right? Well, Hell...that's not even necessarily embarrassing..."
"Wait for it...!" she scolded him, "Be patient!"
"So, naturally, the Judge HAD to then ask WHERE said weapon was concealed...and the prosecutor completely LOST IT trying to read what the form said aloud and ended up handing it to the "defense attorney" to read."
"Apparently, Cadet Adama has a HUGE stick shoved up his.... "
"By then everyone was laughing so hard that it drowned out the rest of it, but they got the idea!
"Damn, you ARE a COLD woman!" he said shaking his head in admiration at her cruelty...
When the Judge FINALLY was able to restore order enough to ask Lee how he would plead, Helo said Lee just lifted his head up off the table long enough to mutter something to the effect of...
"throwing himself on the mercy of the court..."
...and then he hid his face again! It must have been beautiful, because Lee blushes so easily...his face had to be ON FIRE!" she crows happily, hugging herself with glee.
*Yikes!* the Marine thought, *Must remember this; EVIL! MEAN, SCARY PILOT-LADY WILL KICK YOUR ASS!*
"The Judge threw the book at him, naturally, because it was the last case and he gravely intoned that "The illegal concealment of a weapon is SUCH a serious offence that he CAN NOT allow bail, the prisoner must serve his sentence in custody."
"Touche'..." her snickering young guard applauded, impressed - and a bit intimidated...
"Exactly! DO NOT FRAK WITH ME! He really should've known better, so I didn't feel TOO awful for him, and I was still locked up too."
"I woke up as they put Lee in the cell next to mine. One of the guards told us we were the only two people all day that actually had to serve any time in hack, lucky us!"
"Of course, Lee just HAD to shoot his mouth off and give me crap about his having -warned- me that my mouth would get me in trouble someday...but at least my delinquency would serve the "higher cause" of raising money for the Academy Scholarship Fund... He's SUCH a sanctimonious ass!"
"Well, Lee," I told him sweetly, "YOU don't have much room to talk about rap sheets, I'm only in here on an insubordination charge..."
"A -weapons violation- is a felony court-martial offence... you bad, bad boy!"
"Who told...? Oh-you-bitch! YOU did this!" he was POSITIVELY LIVID when he finally realized that even in jail, I'd managed to get revenge for his prank, plus interest!"
"You are SO dead when I get out of here!" he threatened, "BELIEVE IT! I have a test I should be studying for you little frakker!"
"Ah-ah Lee, adding attempted murder to your charges will only extend your sentence... Besides, your being such a good citizen and all...I'm sure you don't mind contributing, in YOUR -small- way, to the cause!"
"I HATE you, Thrace!"
"Frak you, Adama! And for the Gods' sake, knock off the sniveling, tough guy! If I have to re-schedule a test because of YOU, you can deal with asking for an extension on yours, since you were a bit... tied up!" *snicker*
"FINE Thrace - We're even, but you -still- suck!"
"You WISH Lee, you wish!"
"Noooo, the boys in Beta flight said..."
"Oh, no Lee - check your sources, the Betas were talking about YOU...they think you're just *sigh* DREAMY..."
"You ARE a mouthy little shit, aren't you? Watch yourself before I...!"
"Before you what?" she cut him off, "Beat me with your -weapon-?" and she collapsed on her bunk howling, clutching her pillow to her laugh-cramping stomach...
"KARA!" She'd managed to BOTH outrage and embarrass him all at one time, instead of just seperately. It was -such- a satisfying new triumph!
"Oh, FUNNY Thrace," he bitched, "A stick up my...!!! You know...FRAK YOU!...THAT was uncalled for!... Hell, what's the use?" he asked her disgustedly, "You're not even a LITTLE bit sorry, are you?"
But she'd just continued to smile up at him sunnily from her bunk...and he couldn't help cracking a little, tiny smile...
"Fine, I surrender!" he caved, openly laughing now too, "That really WAS a master stroke, all due credit!" he grinned with rueful respect. "You're EVIL, woman!"
"Then he remembered to ask..."Hey wait! What about all the things they said you did to escape? NO WAY I can believe all that...they WEREN'T serious... were they?"
When she simply keeps grinning up at him he gasps, "My GODS, woman!" You DID? -Really?- Whoa......Kara, I don't know whether to be terrified or proud of you!"
She suggested slyly, "How about joining me in a little protest?"
"What are you getting me into?" he muttered warily...
So she picked up her little metal cup by the handle (the things must be standard issue in every cell in the galaxy) and started clinking it vigorously along the bars of her cell.
Grinning rebelliously, she began in a rapidly rising voice to sing in traditional "hup-two-three-four" time...
"10 - 9 - 8 - 7..." "Good Viper pilots go to Heaven -
Laughing, he caught on to the idea and joined her enthusiastically; clinking his own cup loudly, adding to the din...
6 - 5 - 4 - 3 It's a Colonial Warrior's life for me!"
Their voices were now defiant shouts...
"2 - 1, Countdown's done - Cylons better turn and run - FAST! When a Viper squadron's on the task- We'll sure as Hell kick Cylon ass!"
"Suck it in and feel the punch - HOOH! As once again your Viper's launched - For there is no finer place - To kick Toaster ass than outer space!"
"Kick it in and feel the burn - As you pull a five G turn - ZOOM! Push the button to seal their doom- Viper Pilots rule the sky, BOOM - BOOM - BOOM!"
"And we're gonna keep SINGING this annoying CRAP until you let us out!!!" she'd loudly threatened any guards that might be within earshot, though none were visible at that moment.
"We just kept re-doing that cadence with a few pauses once in awhile to drink water with our "percussion instrument" cups. We kept it up for quite a while, before mutually agreeing it was time for a nap if we'd both be up late that night studying for make-up tests, courtesy of the ill-timed pranking..."
"An officer finally came and opened the doors for us, but he grabbed my arm as Lee went up the stairs and said he wanted to talk to me..."
"We thought the stuff you did today was really funny, *his smile granted her his reluctant admiration,* "but if I were you...Well, just don't EVER -really- get caught on base for something, even a parking ticket, because we'll be watching and we know who you are. If YOU get busted, we will hog-tie and thumb-cuff you." *no smile* I completely believed him too, he was MENACING!"
"I suppose if I HAD escaped, the whole squad of them would've NEVER lived it down..."
"Thus began the infamous legend of Starbuck, on the day of my very first arrest... This is the absolute truth, so help me, every word." she raises one hand to solemnly swear.
Shifting to get more comfortable on the cold floor, she sits back and watches the amusing expressions chase across the young Marine's face as he struggles to respond...
He's still sitting there, silent, frozen in the glassy-eyed expression of incredulity he'd been wearing fairly constantly since somewhere around the time she'd been narrating the second mass escape attempt...
From his reaction, it might be the most mind-blowing thing he's heard, ever...especially about her. His mouth is gaping open and he's looking at her like she's a hypnotic combination of poisonous serpent - and a hot, chocolate dessert.
It's okay, she's used to it by now...
A veteran story-teller like Starbuck knows her audience...
In their job, the Marine Security Detail guardsmen quickly develop the wry, warped sense of humor she knows will find her escapade hilarious, while still -officially- disapproving of her behavior completely.
This one is still young enough to let his amusement show in front of her...fun!
A smile of shocked delight is slowly spreading widely across his handsome face as he comes out of the imaginative trance her little "legend" has inspired...
"Holy Hera! Starbuck, you're just...oh my GODS... that's amazing!" and he -really- looks like a kid when he grins like that...
His hands fumble in his shirt for the smokes and he lights one, handing it through the bars without her even asking for one...*Polite boy...* she thinks approvingly, as he then he lights one for himself.
They both puff theirs slowly...completely flipping off the regs against smoking in here, ANY smoking...even if it's him.
*He really is a sweet kid, I'd better stay away from him...* she thinks, *maybe I -should- try harder to keep myself out of hack...*
*Too bad, he's probably gotten nicely sprung too, in those well-tailored police pants that cling just right on their tight little weight-lifting butts...*
She's got a theory that Security Police really can't help it, they're just naturally wired to have the hots for bad girls. Maybe it's just that so many strong Alpha male personalities are drawn to the profession. That type is -bound- to develop a taste for conquest. Something a little, naughty - someone dangerous.
*Dammit!* It really IS too bad he's enlisted...and anyway, she prides herself that she only chews on men who have a sporting chance against her. *This one is a GOOD boy... how cute. She'll let him go...for now.*
*Even though a nice -hard- and dirty frack through the bars would feel DAMN fine right now... UH! MAN, she wishes fighting didn't always gets her revved up like this...*
*This sucks! Maybe I'd better get up in a minute and exercise a little* she was pretty much out of other options...
*Can't exactly ask the guy, "Hey, mind turning around a minute so I can get off?"*
"Uhhhh...sure, no problem, Sir!"
*RIGHT. Just for the look on his face alone, the thought IS tempting...BAD Starbuck!*
Stubbing out the spent butt, she took his and her two and flushed them...no evidence, no problem. Then she lies down and tries to rest...
Starbuck awoke from a light doze to a soft metallic tapping sound; when she looked up from the pillow, the Corporal was standing at her bars once again... He appeared to have regained his "composure"... very good.
"Sorry Sir, I'm going off shift in a few minutes and I thought you should know... I appreciated you talking to me like that, I was gettin' a little sleepy and... Anyhow, I -swear- on my honor, I won't tell a soul, even though that was probably the best story I ever heard! I just wanted to say, it was an honor, Sir!"
She actually stands to return his salute, and the smile she's wearing is wry, but kind - *I can't BELIEVE I just spilled that whole story to my GUARD of all people, I can't even pretend I had too much to drink... Have I EVER talked so much in my entire life? What the Hell WAS that?*
At least she's calmer now...
"Hey! Corporal?"
"Yes, Sir?"
"Any idea on when they might come to give me my charges? I'm scheduled for a CAP and I haven't been able to tell anyone yet that I'm...indisposed," she indicated her current accomidations.
"I haven't heard anything, Sir - but I'll ask the next guy on... They're probably just running behind because of the ceremony and taking all the pictures of the Commander and the Captain..."
She felt like Hell for missing the ceremony, Adama is going to give her that -disappointed- look she can't stand and...
"WHAT Captain? Why would one of our Captains be in the decommissioning pictures?" she frowned, "There haven't been any awards..."
"Capt. Apollo, Sir - his son; they brought him aboard as a surprise for the "old man." He's flying Commander Adama's refurbished Viper in the ceremony..."
*Starbuck DOESN'T faint - Starbuck DOESN'T faint - Starbuck NEVER faints, EVER, EVER!* she wonders if it's possible to mentally hyperventilate...
*This-is-NOT-good...Not at ALL good! So much for calming down...PANIC!!! FRAK! FRAK! FRAK!*
"Thank you Corporal," she released him dully, "carry on..."
*Lee! Lee is HERE! Lee is here to see his Dad -and pose in pictures and fly the 'legendary' Viper! OH FRAK! They -still- DO NOT TALK after Zak... No way will he be happy about this... Lee must be almost homicidal right now! And Adama has no idea what's up!*
Aloud, she groaned..."And I'm in hack!!! They'll KILL each other...!"
*Tigh, you pickled FRAKKER, I wish I'd punched you TWICE!*
For the sake of fairness, she also viciously cursed under her breath at the fluffy-headed, probably well-intentioned PR people responsible for the oncoming fiasco..."Frakking IDIOTS!"
Kara looked up as the hatch opened and the on-duty guard walked in...*Hi Grumpy* she thought...
This old sourpuss never talked, EVER.
*Sad, when you know the shift rotation and temperament of all the brig sentries, not to mention giving them nicknames and totally spilling your guts to one... You're a disaster today, Thrace* she sniped to herself.
The WORST thing though... *Lee's gonna laugh his ass off,'cause you KNOW he's gonna HAVE to come looking for you! And after all this time, he will find you in the brig, as usual...could you humiliate yourself ANY more for Mr.Perfect!?*
Not HER Mr.Perfect, mind you! She'd LOVED Zak completely, he was Mr.Right, her ideal. She almost couldn't believe he'd loved her back! And if his older brother was...nice looking, so? It ran in the family...
*It's just because he resembles Zak...* she'd been convinced at the time, *They're brothers, naturally, there would be -some- subtle PHYSICAL resemblances that might trip her "ZAK attraction" sensors...*
*False alarm! Wrong contact! Disengage-repeat-disengage!*
Regardless, even if she'd never met Zak - reserved, stiff-acting, judgemental, goody-goody, know-it-all, antisocial introverts were SO -completely- the OPPOSITE of her type...and good Gods, he could be SUCH a stick in the mud sometimes!
He wasn't -quite- condescending exactly...but "superior" would be a close fit. He was nearly impossible to impress and it was -incredibly- annoying how SMUG he could be if you didn't measure up to his exacting, perfectionist standards! It was hard to feel "deserving" in his presence, and that pissed her off.
The idiotic man would've have women -lined up- to keep him company, instead of always going off to be by himself, if he'd just learn to RELAX a little...
He's good-looking, has gorgeous blue eyes, VERY intelligent, and like Zak - Lee has an athletic, toned body, VERY nice!
He's scathingly funny - she likes that... You know, just meaning, of course, that OTHER women also liked men who were a little cocky too...
When he tried - or maybe it was when he DIDN'T, Lee could, surprisingly, be a frakking blast! That one time, rough-housing with her and Zak on the lawn like overgrown puppies...It was probably -sickening- how CUTE the three of them were together, laughing breathlessly with grass in their messed-up hair...
That kind of behavior was rare for him though, like he'd "slipped" somehow...She'd always found it a little sad for some reason, watching him catch himself and snap to like some toy soldier.
Zak always said, "That's just...Lee." Then he'd bear-hug her and she'd be extra-grateful that Zak was so openly affectionate.
Too bad if it really was "Just Lee," and THAT was THAT - because she'd discovered he had a heart-stopping smile when he chose to flash it; a swear-to-the-Gods ladykiller grin! The hardest part was getting him to laugh, -really- lose it, before you'd get to see it!
She'd openly sworn, on multiple occasions, that it was her mission to "remove the big stick wedged in his colon that was causing his social constipation!"
It was the beginning of that particular joke between them...
With all the attention she'd focused on him, did she ever think maybe she was *attracted* to Lee? No way! As far as she was concerned, he was just an interesting project - her good deed for woman-kind!
She was completely, hopelessly in love with Zak, and still awestruck that he felt the same way about her. Lee was like an older brother, maybe cute - but *Ewww!* who'd want to kiss their bossy, stuck-up older brother? Yep, permanantly off-limits, AND not even -close- to her type! Safe.
She'd even believed herself, until she saw him in passing a couple months after the funeral. He'd been SO destroyed the last time she'd seen him, and then he'd just disappeared...barricaded himself up somewhere to bleed it out alone.
"That's just Lee," she remembered grimly, but knowing it didn't really help.
She'd caught up to him in the hallway, needing to *see* for herself how he was...Even in his absence, she KNEW somehow that only her and Lee understood THEIR pain. It wasn't the same grieving as his parents, who had closed off, alone together. Even though she'd only been engaged to his brother, they grieved for Zak like Lee and Kara actually -were- brother and sister, like she was already part of their family.
Only SHE bore the crushing weight of her horrible mistake; her one foolish inaction that tore Zak from existence in a violent explosion of flames and twisted metal. She agonized, knowing that failing him so completly was just as terrible as an outright betrayal. She couldn't have taken his life and destroyed his family any more senselessly if she'd killed him personally. She was his lover, his intended, his beloved...and she had murdered her love.
Gods! That day in the hall seemed so long ago now, when Lee had turned at the tap on his shoulder to see her standing there. Even his dim flicker of a smile was balm to her soul. It was something warm to fill her insides where it felt so hollow and terribly cold. She had -needed- the hug he gave her, filled with his unknowing absolution.
Looking deeply in her eyes when they'd parted, he'd told her wearily, "Life goes on, Kara...accidents WILL happen. Zak loved you very, very much - and more than anything, he would want you to try to be happy in your life. Don't waste the chances you have on regret, he wouldn't want that for you."
His ironically appropriate words gave her a glimmer of hope. No matter how much she might blame herself, even SHE knew that she'd never -meant- to hurt Zak and would freely trade her life this very moment to undo it...Perhaps her sin wasn't so black that she couldn't painstakingly earn -some- measure of forgiveness, even if only self-forgiveness, someday.
It was why she'd agreed to transfer to the Galactica under Commander Adama - because Lee couldn't face him yet, and she had a debt to pay. If having her where he could see her made the "old man" happy, it was the very least she could do to fill the torn place in his life...he had seemingly lost -both- of his sons...
That day, Lee's hug had revealed something else, beyond just giving her the hope of atonement. It was something she hadn't been expecting, wasn't looking for at all...Just when she'd deemed Lee "safe," in his embrace, all her self-deception crumbled away...leaving her exposed and defenceless.
BIG SCARY TRUTH, KARA:
Lee is -nothing- like Zak; he doesn't act like Zak, think like him, look like him, smell like him and DAMN sure didn't FEEL like ZAK when he'd held her in his arms minutes ago. His eyes weren't sable brown, they were metal-flecked blue...but they dialated softly just like Zak's...*Wasn't that a sign of attraction?*
His gaze was watchful, considering... guarded, but still yielding to her searching eyes. A pale truth was creeping forward in the darkness of his pupils, like a tentative half-tamed cat...her heart began to flutter in anticipation. It was tempting, almost challenging...reaching inside her...
Then, he turned his head for a second, blinked... and it was ruthlessly hidden. When he met her eyes again, his were as smooth and placid as the surface of a frozen lake.
It was a surprisingly familiar gesture...
*How long has he done that without me noticing? What is he hiding from me?*
But that RUSH through her entire blood-system at his proximity? Whoa... NOT a Zak-reaction! Zak was a sweet, soothing flood of warmth...
What just happened was a white-hot flash of pulse-pounding, system-wide awareness. A beacon, inviting her to land on -very- dangerous ground, just because it looked so beautiful from the sky...It didn't mean it was a good idea, AT ALL.
*Bad news, Kara-girl; truth is, you -want- that man. Not because he's a close approximation of Zak - you KNOW he's not - but because he's LEE. And you've felt it and denied it the whole time.*
World-shaking revelation honey!
You CAN love more than one man in a lifetime. You might even fall in love with Mr. Right's brother, Mr.Perfect... and let's not delude ourselves anymore, shall we...?
He IS her type, HIM personally. Lee. He's exactly what she likes in a man. She wants a man like Lee... No...she just wants Lee...*Oh Gods!*
*Holy Frak! RUN!*
So she HAD run, hiding in plain sight on the Galactica, knowing he wouldn't follow her there...
But, for whatever reason, he just did.
*Son-of-a-BITCH!*
"Someone just kill me now..." she groaned, wishing she could just roll over and smother herself to death under the wool blanket...but noooo, now she was so jumpy that she couldn't even TRY to sleep it all away; she felt sick to her stomach...
Swinging her legs over the side of the bunk, she slid to the floor on her hands and knees...Straightening her legs and stiffening her spine, she held herself in perfect form as she began counting push-ups...
Her memory, however, reels on anyway...
He'd waited for her upstairs after they'd been freed, while the guard has his little "chat" with her and when she'd joined him he'd just HAD to taunt her,
"What's the hold-up Thrace? You get his number? Got a "thing" for authority figures...?"
She doesn't bother replying, just socks him a good one on the arm!
"OW! FRAK, Thrace! You know, I'm a year ahead of you, technically, you're striking a superior officer...!
She sneers, "The only thing you might EVER be my "superior" at is being an asshole, and don't make me kick your ass there too, you have no IDEA what I'm capable of!"
Darting around behind her he breathed "You're capable of bragging your ass off!" right into her ear and then danced back quickly to avoid her fist
"Just remember, Adama, if there's ONE thing we know for DAMN SURE I am capable of, it's hitting a "Superior Asshole" - HARD."
After that, although she had, indeed, come to the attention of the Security Police - she began to come out of her shell and -live- for the first time in her life. Sometimes she gulped a little too much of that freedom and stupid things happened. She wasn't the only one by far...she was entitled to blow off steam a bit...and in a Viper sim, she was GOOD, HOT-SHOT good!
The brig guards begin to hold her in a mixed regard of outright disapproval, amused exasperation and word was...More than a few of the younger ones -really- would have enjoyed the opportunity to cuff her VERY thoroughly so she would NOT be escaping and frak her senseless!
*Knock it OFF, Thrace! Concentrate!*
She was still counting pushups when Lee walked in, looking like a pristine example of Colonial Viper pilot manhood...sometimes she really hated Mr.Perfect for that.
Oh, and a Captain now, the superior asshole...
-The End-