Word Count:
89.046
Date:06/18/2006
Series: Season 1
Rating: T (on ff.net)
Category: AU
Pairing/Focus: Lee, Kara, Adama, others
Warnings:none
Summary:
Spoilers/Disclaimers:Season 1/ I own nothing related to Battlestar Galactica. The
characters and the universe of the Battlestar Galactica do not belong
to me. I make no profit from this story.
Chapter 7
When Kara woke up she noticed a strange tickle on her face. Slowly she opened her eyes and found the smiling face of a child directly in front of her. Apparently the little girl had found an immense interest in Kara’s nose and was inspecting it intently with her little fingers.
“Morning ...” Kara mumbled while she tried to figure out what a child was doing in her bunkroom.
“Good morning, Sleepyhead.” She heard a familiar voice. Lee’s voice. Suddenly she was wide awake and stared at Lee, confused. What was he doing in her bunkroom? But when she looked around herself she remembered what had happened yesterday and that she had stayed the night in Lee’s quarters. Relieved, she fell back on the couch.
“What time is it?” She asked in a still sleepy voice.
“Almost 7.00 hours.” Lee answered smiling. He had finally managed to distract Nia’s interest from Kara and started to get her dressed for the day.
“How long until my shift starts?”
“Don’t worry, you still got three hours left.” Lee paused a moment before he went on. “Kara, I’m really grateful that you helped me out yesterday. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
“Anytime.” Kara replied yawning. “That’s what friends are for.” She tried to ignore the fact that just being friends with Lee wasn’t enough for her anymore lately. But those feelings were certainly just a sign that she was starting to go crazy. After all, Lee had been her best friend for years. He was Zak’s brother. And he was married. Determinedly Kara turned around and tried to get a bit more sleep before her shift started. At least when she was asleep she wouldn’t have these crazy thoughts. Well, unless you count in those weird dreams she kept having about Lee since he stepped aboard Galactica.
“Uhm, Kara, there’s one more thing I have to ask.” Lee looked slightly uncomfortable.
Sighing Kara turned around. “Don’t tell me I have to cover your shift.”
“No, no ... No, nothing like that. Uhm, could you watch Nia while I check on Alicia? It would only be for about half an hour. Dee wanted to come by then and pick her up.” Lee explained quickly.
“When did you have time to ask Dee to baby-sit Nia?” Kara asked, confused.
“I met her about 15 minutes ago.”
“You met her? What, she coincidentally walked into your quarters?” Kara felt even more irritated than before.
“I met her in the mess when I was getting coffee. I figured I could leave you two alone for a few minutes as you were both still deep asleep.”
“Since when are you such a morning person?” Kara yawned again. Suddenly her head jerked up. “Wait, did you just say you got coffee?”
“Yes.” Lee said grinning while he walked over to her and handed her a cup of hot coffee.
“Mmh, coffee in bed – or couch for that matter. Anyway, I could get really used to this. Isn’t it part of the CAG’s job to wake up his pilots every morning with a hot cup of coffee?” Kara asked teasingly.
“In your dreams.” Lee replied laughingly. “So, can you watch her?”
“Yeah, yeah, just go. We’ll be fine, won’t we, Nia?” Kara smiled at the little girl. But Nia was already too busy playing with her doll to pay any more attention to Kara.
“Okay, I’m off then. Thanks again. See you later.” With that Lee left the room and quickly went on to sickbay. He hoped deeply that Alicia had recovered by now and could go home with him. Home. It still surprised Lee that he had become accustomed so easily to his new quarters on Galactica as home. He had never felt that way about the Atlantia. But then again his wife and daughter hadn’t lived there with him at the time, so he figured that was different.
When Lee approached Alicia’s bed, he was relieved to find her not only awake, but already waiting for him impatiently. She still looked pale, but definitely not as fragile as last night.
“Finally, can I go home now?” She greeted him in a harsh tone.
“Good Morning to you too.” Lee smiled at her. “How are you feeling today?”
“Like I could kill you! What were you thinking going on that prison ship? You could have been killed! Do you have any idea how worried I have been?” Alicia hissed.
“I can imagine. Actually I have been pretty worried about you too, so we have that in common.” He cocked an eyebrow at her.
Alicia let out a frustrated sigh. At this moment Cottle approached the couple.
“Good morning. I’m glad to see you awake and healthy.” He said smugly.
Lee looked at him questioningly.
“We gave your wife a higher dosage of the medication. She should be fine now. There might be some side effects like feeling tired, a few small headaches maybe. Should she feel worse than that, let me know. Oh, and I want her to take three of these each day for the next week. It should maker her calmer until the medication is fully working.” Cottle handed a pill box to Lee.
“Excuse me, I’m in the room!” Alicia exclaimed angrily.
“Of course. And you are free to go now. If you’ll excuse me, I have other patients to see. Good bye.” Without another word Cottle turned around and left.
“Well, great, we can go home now.” Lee turned relieved to his wife.
“Yeah, great.” She said sarcastically. The she jumped of the bed and quickly left sickbay. Sighing Lee followed her out. They didn’t talk the whole way back to their quarters.
“Where is Nia?” Alicia asked when she stepped into their room and found it empty.
“Dee ... I mean Petty Officer Dualla is watching her. She already looked after her yesterday while I was on ... while I was working and they got along pretty well.” Lee explained quickly.
“Pretty well???” Alicia stared at him in disbelief.
“They got along great. There really weren’t any problems. I could hardly get Nia to leave when I picked her up again.” Lee clarified. He could understand Alicia. He wouldn’t be too thrilled himself if she had just left their daughter with someone he didn’t even know.
“And when is she bringing her back?” Alicia asked sighing.
“Her shift starts this afternoon. I thought I could leave Nia with her until then. That way you could get some more rest while I’m working.” Lee replied carefully.
“You don’t want her to be alone with me, right?” Alicia looked at him sadly.
“Ali, no, that’s not it. I just think that until you feel better ...”
“And if I never feel better again? Are you going to keep her away from me forever?” The desperate look in her eyes broke his heart
“I’m not trying to keep her away from you. She’ll be here again this afternoon. We can spend the rest of the day together, get something to eat in the mess, just relax together. But until then, yes, I think it would be best if she stayed with Dee ... Dualla, I mean.” He sighed. It hurt to talk like this to his wife. But the truth was, he didn’t feel comfortable leaving Nia alone with her now. He wanted to make sure these pills were really helping this time.
“Okay, fine.” Alicia gave in sighing. She wasn’t happy about it but deep down she knew Lee was right. This was what was best for Nia. When she looked up at Lee again she noticed for the first time the several bruises on his face. “Are you all right? You look awful.”
Lee looked at her surprised. “I’m okay, just some cuts and bruises.”
“How did it happen?” Alicia suddenly looked at him worried.
Lee chuckled. A few seconds ago it was him worrying about her. “I was stupid enough to think I could win against a bunch of escaped prisoners. The odds weren’t really on my side.” He let out a small laugh.
“That’s not funny. Does it hurt?” She gently stroked his bruised cheek.
“Not anymore.” Relieved to have his wife back with him, Lee put his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him to give her a the kiss he wanted to give her since he got back from the Astral Queen. They stood tightly embraced for several minutes until a knock on the door interrupted this intimate moment. Sighing, Lee let go of Alicia and opened the hatch.
“Hey, sorry to disturb you, but did you remember that Flattop has his thousandth landing today?” Kara looked at him grinning. She knew exactly why he had forgotten all about it.
“Frak!” Lee called out. “I have to go, Ali. I’m sorry.” With that he quickly stepped into the corridor and followed Kara who already ran a few meters ahead of him.
“You’re the worst CAG ever!” She laughed at him as he finally caught up with her.
Three hours later Lee sat in his office writing the latest casualty report. They had lost 13 pilots due to an accident on the hangar deck. A frakking accident. They hadn’t died because of a Cylon attack or an act of sabotage. It had just been some too old material that had killed them. They had been celebrating Flattops thousandth landing when a comm drone had cut loose. They hadn’t even seen the drone coming at them. Lee had been a few corridors away from the hangar deck but he had still felt the explosion. He could still see their burned bodies lying on the floor, he could hear the screams filled with pain of those that had survived at first.
Sighing, he put his pen down. In half an hour he would have to step up in front of the remaining pilots. They were already so few and now the room would even look emptier. He had no idea what he should say to make them all feel better about today when there really was nothing to say. And he worried about Kara. She had hardly spoken a word after the accident and she had looked pale like a ghost. He suspected that it wasn’t just her dead comrades that haunted her. This must have brought back memories of Zak. He had died in an accident as well. An accident that should never have happened because he shouldn’t have been in that plane. A senseless death, just like the death of the thirteen pilots today. If this brought back memories of Zak for him, it must be ten times worse for Kara. She had been there the day it happened and she had watched when Zak – or what was left of him – had been pulled out of the burned out Viper.
Shuddering, Lee pushed away those thoughts about his brother. He had more current things to worry about. What he would tell the pilots, how he would keep Kara from falling apart and how he would explain to his wife that their afternoon together wouldn’t happen because with everything that had happened this morning he had still tons of extra work to do, several CAPs to cover and new rosters to write. He had no idea how they were supposed to cover all necessary shifts in the future. He had already scheduled everyone for double shifts, including himself. But they couldn’t go on like this forever. They needed new pilots.
Again he let out a frustrated sigh. He had no idea what he would do with Nia the rest of the day. Dee’s shift started in two hours. Sharon had to fly double shifts due to the accident and the state Kara was in right now he couldn’t burden her with his problems. And as much as he hated himself for it, he didn’t want Nia to be alone with Alicia right now. That only left his father but if Lee had already much to do, his father would probably be drowning in work. Then he remembered a conversation between his father and Tigh this morning. His father had asked Tigh to cover his shift in CIC as he would be working in his office all day, going over reports and finding new pilots from the fleet records they had assembled so far. If his father would be in his office all day, Alicia and Nia could spend the rest of the day there. At least they wouldn’t be alone then.
He decided to talk to his father right after the briefing.
Lee had been standing in front of his pilots now for several minutes. He was already done with all the necessary announcements and still couldn’t find the right words when he saw his father enter the briefing room. Kara was right. He was the worst CAG in the history of CAGs.
“Attention on deck!” Crashdown called out. Everyone jumped up and quickly saluted their Commander.
“As you were.” Adama said. Then he turned around to Lee. “May I?”
Lee wondered what his father was up to. But he felt relieved. Maybe his father would have the right words for this situation.
“Give me your eyes. I know this has been a hard day. There's been plenty of them lately. I can guarantee you there'll be more to come. Remember your self-esteem, your self-respect, and your self-worth. Hold strong to them, because people are watching. You're the guardians of the fleet. They need to know that they can count on you, even at a time like this.“ Adama said in a calm voice.
This was not exactly what Lee had expected. But when he thought about it, this was his father after all. He wasn’t a man to give comfort. He would tell you what to do in his own words, to stay strong and do your duty. And he had done just that. When Lee looked down at his pilots he could see that his father’s words had indeed made a difference. Instead of just sad and devastated, his pilots also sat proud in their seats. They would defend this fleet, no matter what happened. There was always time for grief later.
Adama turned to Kara. “Lt. Thrace, please report to my office in an hour.” Then he turned around to leave the room without another word. Lee quickly dismissed the pilots and followed his father out.
“Commander ...” He called out. Surprised, Adama turned around and looked at his son.
“Is there anything else, Captain?”
“Dad, I need a favour ...” Lee looked slightly uncomfortable. He hated to play the father/son card, especially after their “disagreement” the day before about the whole Astral Queen affair but he simply didn’t know what else to do.
“Go on.” Adama looked at his son expectantly. He was surprised that Lee would suddenly ask him for a personal favour. It had been a long time since his son had asked for his help. It surprised him how good it felt to be needed by Lee again.
“You were going to work in your office again today, right?” Lee asked.
“Yes.” Adama simply replied. He wondered what Lee was getting at.
“I thought that maybe ... Alicia and Nia could spend the afternoon with you in your office. They wouldn’t disturb you much. Nia is usually very quiet. Give her her doll and she’s happy.” Lee had to smile at the thought of his daughter. But he quickly hid again behind his usual mask. He didn’t want his father to know how important this really was for him. But the smile didn’t go unnoticed by Adama. He also noticed how uncomfortable this conversation made Lee.
“After all that happened lately I would feel better knowing that ... that they’re not alone all day. It would just be for today.” Lee swallowed. Asking his father for help was harder than he had expected. He just hoped he wouldn’t ask any questions.
Adama was surprised at Lee’s request. But this was the first time in years his son had asked him for help and he wasn’t going to let him down. And to spend some time with his daughter-in-law and his granddaughter wasn’t really that bad. He hadn’t seen them again since their family dinner. “Of course, that won’t be a problem. I’ll look forward to have some company.” He replied smiling.
“Thanks ... Dad.” Relieved Lee watched his father as he went on his way to his quarters. One problem solved. That only left another hundred more or so.
Hesitantly Kara stood before the Commander’s quarters. She already suspected what he wanted from her. And she knew she couldn’t do it. She forced down the tears that were starting to well up in her eyes. She couldn’t let the Commander know how emotionally screwed up she felt right now. He might get suspicious and would start asking questions. And he could never know what really happened. What she did. If she’d told him, he would never forgive her. He would hate her forever and she couldn’t live with that.
When she felt strong enough she finally knocked on the hatch.
“Come on in.” She could hear Adama call.
Slowly she opened the door. “Commander.” She stood straight in front of him and saluted.
“At ease, Lieutenant.” Adama said smiling and motioned for her to sit down.
She knew he would come to the point any second now. Adama wasn’t known for beating about the bush.
“I’m glad that Alicia is feeling better.” She quickly said. This would only postpone the inevitable for a few minutes but she would take what she could get.
Adama looked at her questioningly. “Was she sick?”
Kara bit her lip. Frak, why couldn’t she keep her mouth shut. Lee obviously hadn’t wanted his father to know. Apparently he wasn’t ready yet to fully include him in his life. Well, leave it to Kara Thrace to mess it all up.
“Well?” Adama wasn’t planning to let go of this. If there was something wrong with his daughter-in-law he wanted to know. Maybe that was the reason Lee didn’t want her to be alone today?
“Uhm, I’m not really sure what was wrong with her but she had to spend the night in sickbay. But she already got released this morning, so it probably isn’t anything serious.” She forced herself to smile at the Commander.
Adama could see that Kara felt uncomfortable about this topic. He should talk about this with Lee. Or maybe Alicia. Maybe an opportunity would present itself when she would come here this afternoon. He decided to drop the subject for now and come to the main reason he had asked Kara to come here.
“We have to start training new pilots.” He told her.
Kara let out a nervous laugh. “There it is.” She cleared her throat. “I, uhm, kinda thought this was about that. Uhm, I don't know if I'm the right person for this.” She could feel her hands shaking and clasped them tightly together so Adama wouldn’t notice.
“You know someone better?” He asked her with an arched eyebrow.
“No, no. But, uhm - there's almost fifty thousand people out there. You trying to tell me there's not one flight instructor?” She knew she sounded lame. There really wasn’t a good reason for her not to take that job. Except for the one reason that she had killed her last student – her fiancé, the son of the man who was sitting in front of her right now.
“There's two. Civilians both. I need someone to teach combat tactics.” Adama explained. He had known Kara would hesitate to get back to instructing. She still wasn’t over Zak.
“You know, I don't know if I'd be any use to you. I wasn't the most patient ...” Kara began but was interrupted by Adama.
“Let's get down to it. This is about Zak. It was not your fault. You had nothing to do with what happened. It was an accident.”
Kara closed her eyes for a few seconds. This was too much. She didn’t think she could take any more.
“Zak passed basic flight.” Adama went on. “He was trained and ready to sit in that cockpit. What happened to him could have happened to any qualified pilot. You know that's true.”
It wasn’t true. “Right.” She pressed out.
“You did your job to the best of your ability. That's all I can ask. I need new pilots and I want you to train them.” Adama looked determinedly at Kara.
She couldn’t stand this anymore. But she couldn’t let him down either. “I can do that.” She quickly stood up to leave the room. She felt like she couldn’t breathe anymore.
Adama could see she was struggling. He gently grabbed her by her shoulders and smiled warmly at her. “Just give them the attention and the professionalism that you gave my son. They'll be one hell of a squadron.” Then he pulled her into a small, comforting embrace. Kara felt like she was dead inside.
“Daddy.” Nia called out happily as she stumbled in Lee’s arms. He had just stepped into Dee’s bunkroom to pick up his daughter.
“Hey pumpkin.” He smiled lovingly at her. “Hey Dee, thanks for watching her again.”
“No problem. She’s the sweetest little girl I know. And I can actually forget about the Cylons for a while when I’m playing with her.” Dee said smiling.
“I know what you mean.” Lee smiled back. His daughter had this special way of making everything all right just by being around. He changed a few more words with Dee before he left with Nia. He still had to tell Alicia about the change in plan. On his way to his quarter he thought about how he would tell her. She wouldn’t be too excited about it. He decided to explain how important it would be for him to know that they were both safe and that he could understand her frustrations about it, but that it would be best this way. Yes, that should work. But he was sure she wouldn’t like it. And he was right.
“Are you insane?” Alicia shouted at Lee. He had just explained to her that she and Nia would spend the day with his father instead of with him. “I don’t need a babysitter. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of my own daughter without someone watching over my shoulder!”
“I know that, Ali, it’s just ... It’s only for today. And I just don’t have time to ... to worry about you ... I have to fly a double shift CAP and when I’m out there I have to concentrate 100 % on the job.” He felt like a bastard. He knew exactly how scared Alicia was every time he went out in his Viper. So much for talking to her calmly and respecting her feelings. He tried to ignore the guilt rising inside of him.
“All right, fine. But just today. From tomorrow on I will watch my daughter on my own. No more babysitters.” She hissed at him.
“Okay.” Lee sighed. This didn’t exactly go the way he had planned but at least she had agreed. “We better get going then.”
“You’re not seriously thinking of bringing me to your father’s door, are you?” She glared at him angry.
“Uh, I still have a few minutes, so I ... It’s on my way anyway.” Lee said lamely.
“Both your office and the hangar deck are in the opposite direction!” Alicia was fuming with anger by now. She was not a lunatic. She was perfectly capable of taking care of their daughter alone for a few minutes. What did he think she would do? Lose Nia during a two-minute-walk from here to the Commander’s quarter?
Lee could see how angry Alicia was. And he could understand her. He was practically treating her like a child. So sighing he gave in. Surely his father would contact him if Alicia and Nia never showed up at his quarters. He cringed. He really shouldn’t think like that.
After leaving his quarters Lee went to look for Kara. He really needed to talk to her about today and he didn’t want to wait any longer. He found her only a few minutes later coming out of the rec room.
“Hey Kara, wait up.” When she didn’t respond he ran a few steps until he caught up with her. “Kara.”
“Captain.” She just stared straight ahead.
“Let’s talk somewhere, okay.” He held her carefully at her arm so she would look at him.
She shot him an annoyed look. “Don’t you have CAP or something?”
“Yeah, but I still have a few moments. Listen, what happened today, I know that ...”
“I don’t want to talk about today, Lee, all right? I’m tired and I want to get some sleep before my next shift.” With that she quickly walked away.
Lee thought about following her but decided against it. He couldn’t force her to talk to him. Maybe he had more luck when she had calmed down a bit. But he would keep an eye on her.
Adama watched thoughtfully as Alicia was playing with Nia. The little girl had found an immense interest in his ship models. So far Alicia had managed to stop her from touching them and he was quite grateful for this. He had invested many hours in building them and he couldn’t get any spare parts should anything break. Then the thought hit him that there weren’t any children’s toys to get now either. Maybe he would give her one of his ships when she got a bit older. He figured he had to wait a few years for that though. That thought made him smile. It was always good to have something worth fighting for.
His thoughts drifted back to Alicia and what Kara had said about her earlier. Why hadn’t he been informed that she had to spend the night in sickbay? Of course she wasn’t a member of his crew but she was part of his family now. Didn’t he deserve to know when something happened to her?
He had considered just asking her what happened. But he couldn’t find the right words to start this conversation. Also she seemed to be fine now. She looked a bit pale and tired but after all that happened the last few days that was understandable.
“Nia, no!” Alicia’s yell pulled Adama out of his thoughts. Smiling he watched how Alicia scolded Nia for grabbing at another of his models. He remembered how Lee had always loved to play with them too as a child. Nia really was his daughter.
He decided to take a break from his work and walked over to Alicia and Nia.
“Have you become accustomed to your new quarters yet?” He asked smiling.
“Yes, we have. I have to admit it was hard at first. I hardly got to see Lee. Not that it’s much better now.” She let out a sad laugh. “He leaves in the morning, shows up for a few minutes during the day and comes back late at night. I’m still used to having him around me all day when he wasn’t on the Atlantia. And if he wasn’t at home I still had Caroline to talk to. It gets kind of lonely to stay in the same room all day.”
“Caroline?” Adama asked slightly confused.
“Yes, I’ll be forever grateful to her for letting us stay in her house. I don’t know what we would have done without her. She is ... was a wonderful woman.” A sad expression flashed over Alicia’s face as she remembered her mother-in-law.
“I didn’t know you were living with her.”
Alicia looked at him surprised. “Lee didn’t tell you?”
“My son never tells me much when it comes to his personal life.” Adama replied sadly.
“Oh, yes, of course, I know that, I just thought that he ...” Alicia closed her eyes for a moment. She had been so stupid. She had thought that Lee had told his father all about her disease and for that alone she had been angry at him. She had felt humiliated enough over the fact that he wouldn’t leave her alone with her own daughter and her recent behaviour in sickbay. And that her father-in-law would know all about that had just made it worse. But apparently Lee hadn’t said anything. He had kept their problems to himself. And his father really just saw this as a family visit and not as an obligation to watch over her. Alicia felt a sense of relief wash over her and she suddenly felt ashamed for her behaviour towards Lee. He was just looking out for her and Nia, as he had always done. She knew that he would have left the military long ago if it hadn’t been for her. She owed him so much and all she did was scream at him and make his life more difficult. She promised herself she would make it up to him tonight. From now on she would be the perfect wife he deserved. And she would be the perfect mother for Nia.
Alicia waited anxiously for Lee to come home. She had thought of several different ways of how to make up for her behaviour the last few days. But when Lee finally did come he looked so tired and exhausted, as if he would fall asleep right away. So instead of talking with him about everything that was on her heart she just pulled him into a tight embrace. She could feel the tension slowly leaving his body at the close, comforting contact between them.
“I love you, Lee.” She told him with a warm smile.
He looked at her surprised. He had expected that she would still be angry with him. “I love you, too.”
“You look exhausted. Let’s get to bed. You’re going to need the rest.” She slowly began to unbutton his uniform jacket. Lee closed his eyes for a few seconds and enjoyed every moment as her hands slid against his skin when she pulled his jacket off of him. He wished he had the power left to do more with her tonight than just a simple embrace.
“It’s okay, there’s always time for that later.” Alicia whispered in his ear. It always amazed him how she could read his mind like this. He pulled her close to him for a deep kiss before they both went to bed. ‘Maybe they didn’t have to wait until later?’ He thought smiling to himself. But he fell asleep the second his head lay down on the pillow.
Lee awoke with a slight headache. Groaning he turned to the side. This day started just as badly as the last one had ended. Well, not quiet as bad, he smiled as he thought of how warmly Alicia had welcomed him home last night. He hoped that things would start to get better between them. All they did lately was fight and he really had enough of that. And the way Alicia had acted towards him last night showed him she felt the same way.
He carefully climbed out of his bed so he wouldn’t wake up his wife. He threw a quick glance at his daughter before he went to take a shower. He regretted that he had to leave out his morning run. It would have been a perfect chance to talk to Kara. He had hardly seen her yesterday and with the service this morning and the workload waiting for him he wouldn’t have many chances to catch up with her today.
When he got out of the bathroom, Alicia and Nia were awake as well.
“Good Morning.” He bent down to give them both a kiss.
“Good Morning. How did you sleep?” Alicia asked concerned. He still looked as tired as he had last night.
“Too short.” Lee sighed as he got on his dress uniform.
“You really need to get more rest, you know. You can’t keep going like this forever.”
“I know. I’m just getting used to the new job. I wasn’t really trained for this.” He let out a small laugh. “It will get better. I promise.” He looked at her apologising. He knew she was feeling lonely being in their quarters all day with just Nia as company. And she hadn’t even had that the last two days, he thought guiltily.
“I’m sorry I made you so much trouble. I promise I’ll ...”
“You’re not trouble, Ali, you’re my wife. You got sick again because the pills weren’t working. That wasn’t your fault.” He walked over to her and gave her a tight hug. “You have nothing to apologise for.”
Alicia was going to respond to that when Nia suddenly started crying. But she was obviously just looking for attention as she stopped immediately when her mother picked her up on her arms. Lee let out a relieved laugh. It seemed things were really going to get back to normal.
“I have to go.” He sighed. “I don’t know when I’ll be back ...”
“Don’t worry. Take your time. We’ll be here.” Alicia gave him a warm smile. Smiling he kissed them both goodbye and stepped out of the room.
The memorial service was one of the hardest things Lee ever had to attend to. He kept seeing his brother’s casket in his mind and the way Kara stood frozen next to him, she must have felt the same way he did. Or probably even worse. The service lasted over an hour and he was relieved to get out of the room again. His headache had gone worse during the last hours and he really just wanted a quiet place to hide. He decided to go to his office to do some paperwork. At least it would be quiet in there.
“Lee, wait a moment.”
He turned around to see his father stepping up to him.
“I wanted to give you these folders of the new nuggets Kara is going to teach. They just landed and are on their way to the briefing room. Has she got everything prepared?” Adama asked.
“Uhm, yes Sir, I believe she has.” The truth was he had no idea. He hadn’t even had a chance to really talk to Kara about this whole instructing thing yet.
“Good, give these to her then.” Adama hesitated a moment before he went on. “So, is everything all right with Nia and ... Alicia?” He hoped his question sounded as innocent as he had intended to.
Lee looked slightly uncomfortable. “Uh, yes, everything’s fine. They’re still getting used to their new surroundings. A Battlestar isn’t really a perfect place for a child to grow up but ... other than that everything’s fine,” he assured his father.
Adama tried to hide his frustration. He had thought his relationship with Lee had improved, but apparently his son still didn’t want him back in his life. When he reflected on their last conversations during the past few days that didn’t even surprise him. Most of the time they had been arguing. And he had practically accused Lee of betraying him by working for the President. That really hadn’t been very helpful. But he had acted as a Commander then, not as a father. Couldn’t Lee see the difference?
“Son, I want you to know that whatever disagreements we might have on the job, I’m always there for you as a father.” He said quietly.
Lee swallowed. “Thanks, Dad. I really appreciate that. Uhm, I have to go now. I gotta get these to Kara.” He waved at the folders in his hands and gave his father a small smile.
Adama sighed. He had hoped his son might finally open up to him. But apparently Lee didn’t seem to be ready for that yet.
Lee was surprised when he found the results of the test flights from Kara’s nuggets already on his desk after he returned from his CAP later the day. Today had been their first day. How had she managed to evaluate them so quickly? He chuckled. Maybe they were lucky and all their new pilots were naturals when it came to flying.
He should have known they wouldn’t be so lucky. He opened folder after folder and saw that every nugget had failed. He let out a frustrated sigh and went to find Kara.
He found her a few minutes later in the rec room getting a cup of coffee.
“What are you doing here, Kara? You can't wash them out on their first day.”
“I just did.” She countered.
Lee sighed. “Look, I've got forty Vipers and twenty-one pilots. That's it. We are sitting ducks until we finish water ops. We can't even maintain a CAP. Gods forbid the Cylons show up ...”
“Gods forbid. Let's bring in the next group of candidates.” Kara interrupted him.
“The next group has never even been in a cockpit. They're starting basic flight.” Lee said angrily.
“Well then they start basic flight, because that group is done. Says so right there, maybe you should read it again.” Kara countered as angrily. Then she started walking out of the room.
“Lt. Thrace, this is not a request.” Lee yelled after her. He couldn’t believe her. They were running out of pilots and she didn’t even give them a chance.
“Well, Captain Adama, I am the flight instructor, Sir. My word is scripture, Sir. I will not, repeat, not pass another student who isn't ready.” Kara hissed.
“So that's what this is about? It's not them. It's Zak.”
Kara froze for a second, then she stepped up close to Lee until they stood nose to nose. She looked like she would hit him any second. “Careful.” She hissed.
“Step back.” Lee ordered her. Then he sighed and let his shoulders sag down. “Kara ...”
“Just let it go, Lee. They’re not good enough. I’m not gonna let them pass.” Without another word Kara turned around and left the room.
A short time later Lee stood before his father’s quarter. He still stood there for several minutes and still didn’t know if it would be the right thing to talk about this with his father. It felt like a betrayal to Kara. He finally decided to talk to Kara again. Maybe she had calmed down and would be open for discussion. But when he turned around he saw his father coming towards him. ‘Great.’ He thought. ‘I’ve been waiting around his empty quarters the whole time. This is just typical.’
“Commander.” He greeted his father. He wanted to make it clear that this was just a work-related visit. He didn’t want his father to ask any more questions about Alicia. He didn’t like to keep lying to him about her but he wasn’t feeling comfortable telling him the truth either. He didn’t want to burden his father with another problem.
“Is there anything I can do for you, Captain?” Adama questioned.
For a second Lee thought about making something up but then he decided that it would probably be best to discuss this with his father after all. If he was honest to himself he just didn’t have the time to chase after Kara.
“I would like to talk to you about Ka ... Lt. Thrace.”
Adama arched an eyebrow. He tried to hide his surprise. His son sounded awfully official. “Is there a problem?”
“She flunked all her nuggets.” Lee explained quickly as he followed his father inside his quarters.
“Starbuck says they can't cut it, they can't cut it.” Adama stated.
“She's not giving them a chance. It's day one.”
“She's one of the finest pilots I've ever seen in my life. If one day in the cockpit is all she needs to know if they can hack it or not, she got that.” Adama had full trust in Kara’s ability to evaluate these new pilots and it surprised him that Lee didn’t have that trust in her too.
“I'm not arguing that, Sir. I'm just saying, I think she's letting her personal feelings cloud her judgement.” Lee felt slightly uncomfortable about the direction this conversation was going. He hadn’t really meant to bring his brother into all this.
Adama noticed Lee’s uneasiness and it made him wonder even more what this all really was about. “Please sit down, Captain.” He waited for Lee to take a seat before he went on. “What are those feelings?”
“About Zak.” He couldn’t look at his father as he said that. There were just too many painful memories when it came to his brother.
“We've talked about Zak.” Adama said quietly.
“Y-you did?” Lee stammered. He would have never believed that Kara had told his father the truth. He still didn’t understand why he had just forgiven Kara so easily but he never thought his father would ever forgive her for what she did. But obviously he really didn’t know his father very well.
“We talked about a lot of things.” Adama explained. “We've been aboard this ship for over two years, we know each other very well. When I asked her to be the instructor, I knew it was going to release a lot of loose baggage. She acknowledged it. She's a professional, she'll do her job.”
“Okay. I'm just saying... you should talk to her. She's walking around with a lot of emotion. She almost decked me in the rec room.” He rolled his eyes when he saw his father smiling slightly. “Right, you wouldn't smile if you were there.”
“I'll talk to her.” Adama said.
“Thank you.” He paused for a second before he went on. He felt relieved to have one lie less standing between him and his father. “Personally, I think she's trying to work out her guilt over what she did for Zak. I think she's trying to make up for it by beating up on these guys.”
“Guilt? Over what? What did she do for Zak?” Adama shot a confused look at Lee.
“I ... I thought you just said ...” Lee felt like a complete idiot. Obviously his father and he hadn’t talked about the same thing. He should have known Kara would have never told his father the truth. It had taken her two years and the end of the world to confess it to him.
“What did she do?” Adama glared earnestly at his son. He wanted an answer right now.
“It's not my place to say, and I've already said more than I should've. You'll have to ask her, I'm sorry.” Lee turned around to leave the room.
“Captain ...”
“Dad, you'll have to ask her.” Now it was Lee who looked at his father earnestly. He wouldn’t say one more thing. He had already said too much.
Adama sat at his office staring at the reports in front of him. He had been staring at the same side for over an hour now. He kept thinking about what Lee had said. It had sounded like Kara was somehow responsible for Zak’s death. But that couldn’t be true. But Lee had started to act like a son again shortly after seeing Kara again after two years of having no contact. Had she told him something that made him change his mind about who was responsible for what happened to Zak? But Lee wasn’t angry at Kara, they had been nothing but friends from the moment he stepped on the Galactica.
He was relieved when he finally heard a knock on the door. That would probably be Kara. Maybe she could shed some light onto all this.
“Yes, come in.” He waited for Kara to close the hatch behind her before he went on. “Lee was just here before.”
Kara let out a short, harsh laugh. “I knew it.”
“He thinks you washed out the nuggets without giving them a chance.” He looked at her questioningly.
“They didn't cut it. That's it.” She replied shortly.
“He thought you were... letting personal feelings cloud your judgement.” Adama quietly said.
“Really.”
“Your feelings about Zak.” He noticed how Kara froze at the mention of his youngest son’s name.
“That's not the case.” He also noticed how Kara didn’t look him into the eyes any more. Could it really be true that she was somehow responsible for Zak’s death?
“Okay. ... He said something else. He said something that I would like to ask you directly. He said that you might have been feeling guilty about something that you did for Zak. What did you do for him?”
“I don't know, you'd have to ask Lee.” Kara swallowed. She knew Adama wouldn’t let go of it but the thought alone of telling him the truth made her feel sick.
“No, I'm asking you.”
“Well, I don't, uhm, I don't really know what he was talking about, so...” Her voice started to sound shaky and Adama picked up on it immediately. He might have just known her for two years but he always knew when she was hiding something. In a way he knew her better than his own son.
“Don't fence with me, Kara. I love you like a daughter; I don't deserve that.”
Kara felt like she would start to cry any second. But she forced herself to stay strong. It was time to tell Adama the truth about what she did and she would do it the right way. “Zak failed basic flight. ... He wasn't a bad pilot, he just had no feel for flying. And, uhm ... When it came to his final check ride, he busted three of the test manoeuvres. And I should have flunked him, but I didn't. The bottom line is that your son didn't have the chops to fly a Viper. And it killed him.”
“You did it because you were engaged.” Adama stared at her in disbelief.
Kara couldn’t stop the tears from falling down her face anymore. The way Adama looked at her she knew he would never forgive her. The last two years he had been almost like a father to her and now he would hate her forever.
“Because I made a mistake. Because I was just... I was so in love with him, and I let that get in the way of doing my job. And, uhm, he... He just wanted it so much, and I just didn't want to be the one who crushed him.” She tried to explain to him why she did what she did but she knew there was no excuse.
“Reinstate the trainees to flight status.” Adama ordered in a cold voice. He had never spoken to her like this ever before.
“I will. I, uhm ... but I just, I want you to understand that I ...”
“Do your job.” Adama interrupted her. He could feel his hands shaking as he tried to keep himself back. She had killed his son and for two years she had kept this from him. He had treated her like a daughter and she .... He closed his eyes for a second as he fought down the urge to strangle Kara right here and now.
“Yes, sir.” Kara pressed out between sobs. By now she couldn’t hold back her emotions anymore.
“And walk out of this cabin while you still can.” Adama glared at her furiously.
Shivering and still crying, Kara quickly left the Commander’s office. She promised herself that she would do anything in her power to gain his trust again even though she knew that he would probably never look at her again. But she would train these nuggets and make them to be the best pilots this fleet had ever seen, no matter how hard this would be for her. She owed him that much. But deep inside she felt like she didn’t want to live anymore
A few hours later Lee stood in CIC and watched in horror as Kara’s viper disappeared from dradis. She had been out in space with the nuggets doing some more test flights when eight Cylon raiders had suddenly appeared. And in the typical Starbuck way she had tried to take them all on by herself. They had shot her down and her viper had gone down on a nearby moon.
Lee felt like the bottom of his world had just dropped out. They had lost all contact with Kara. He had no idea if she was still alive or not. He closed his eyes as a feeling of despair spread through his body. His best friend in the world had just gone missing. And he didn’t know how he could go on without her.
Chapter 8
For over 40 hours they had been searching the moon for Kara. They hadn’t found any trace of her so far. Because of the turbulent atmosphere on the moon their Vipers broke faster than they could repair them again. It got harder and harder to justify the continuation of the search as the time in which Kara would run out of oxygen would be over soon. But neither Lee nor Adama were willing to give up on her yet. They even had pulled off the CAP in order to get more Vipers for the search.
Lee felt like he was on the verge of a breakdown. He hadn’t slept for more than two days and it seemed that the persistence of himself and his father were the only reason they were still looking for Kara. But he had sworn to himself that he wouldn’t give up on her. He would do anything to get her back. She had saved his life back on Ragnar – this time it would be him bringing her back. He had even gone so far as to almost attack Tigh when he had objected to pulling away the CAP. And just now he had lied to President Roslin, the woman he had put his trust into form day one of this frakking war, when he had tried to justify the use of more Vipers for the search.
He had just ended his conversation with Roslin over the phone and tried to push away the guilt for lying to her and everyone else when he saw his wife storming into the Hangar Bay. He watched her putting their daughter into the arms of a stunned Chief Tyrol and then coming straight towards him. She looked furious.
“Lee!”
Sighing Lee went a few steps towards his wife. “Ali, what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? What is wrong with you? What are you doing, Lee?” It took all her willpower not to yell at him loudly.
“I’m trying to find my best friend who crashed on this gods forsaken moon.” Lee hissed. He couldn’t believe she was actually angry at him for trying to find Kara.
“You’re putting the fleet in danger. Everyone says so. You even pulled away the CAP. Who is supposed to protect us when the Cylons come back?” She yelled at him.
“Galactica is still here and it would only take a few minutes for the vipers to get back to the fleet.” Lee countered. He knew he sounded lame and from the look in Alicia’s eyes she knew too.
“A few minutes? It just takes a few minutes for them to destroy us all.” She glared at him angrily. “Is she really worth it to risk your daughter’s life?”
Lee sighed and looked at her almost desperately. All the anger he had just felt seconds ago was gone. “Ali, I can’t leave her behind. I just can’t.”
Alicia was taken aback when she saw tears glistening in his eyes. The only time she had ever seen him crying was at his brother’s funeral.
“She’s more than just a friend to you, isn’t she?” It was more a statement than a question and Alicia was surprised of herself at how calm her voice sounded.
“What? What are ...” Lee stammered.
“The way you’ve been acting since she disappeared ...” Alicia paused for a second as she tried to stay calm. “Do you love her?” She finally asked in a shaky voice.
Lee just stared at her stunned for a second. “I ... No, Ali, she ...” He let out a deep breath. “Yes, she is more than a friend for me. She was engaged to my brother. She was supposed to be a part of my ... of our family. She’s like a sister to me.” He tried to ignore his inner voice that told him that Kara was most definitely not like a sister to him.
Alicia was relieved at his last words and she told herself that there was really no reason not to believe him. He was her husband. He had chosen her long ago and he loved her. She already regretted her question.
“Lee, I hear what people are saying. The chances that Kara is still alive ... Not even she is invincible.” Alicia said quietly. Despite all her anger she suddenly felt sorry for Lee. Kara was his friend, probably the only one he had left. And she had been a great help these past few days while she herself had been nothing but a burden for Lee. Kara had helped him through all this and it was just natural that he wanted her back more than anything.
“Sir, your viper is ready to launch.” A deckhand had approached the couple and waited hesitantly for Lee.
“I gotta go.” Lee said to Alicia then he turned around and walked towards his viper. Without looking back to her he climbed in and closed the canopy. He didn’t care how many people told him that Kara’s chances for survival were almost non-existent. He wasn’t going to stop looking for her.
The next time Lee landed back on Galactica he was told to report to the Commander’s office. He had been afraid of this. Kara had run out of oxygen a few hours ago. He had been surprised that the search hadn’t been called off before. On his way to his father’s quarters he thought about different ways to persuade his father of how Kara could still be alive. He couldn’t come up with many options and those he had didn’t sound very convincing even to him. But when he finally reached his father’s quarters he found that it wasn’t him he needed to convince.
“The President has asked to see us. She wants to call off the search.” Adama told him directly.
“We can’t do that.” Lee called out helplessly.
“I know. That’s what we have to explain to her. But she's gonna press.“
“I'm with you.” Lee replied determinedly. He was relieved to find his father on his side. Together they anxiously waited for President Roslin to enter the room.
“President Roslin.” Tigh announced the President as they both stepped into Adama’s quarter.
“Madam President.” Adama greeted her.
Roslin glared at them both angrily. “Skip the formalities, you both know why I'm here.”
“Termination of a pilot's rescue mission is a military decision.” Adama stated quietly.
“That's a bunch of crap.” Roslin hissed. “This isn't military, it's personal. Neither of you can let go of Kara Thrace because she's your last link to Zak.” She felt sorry for the two men in front of her. It was clearly visible how much Kara Thrace meant to them. She wished she could help them but she couldn’t let them put the fleet in any more danger.
“You don't know anything about my brother ...” Lee called out angrily.
“Don't even begin, Captain.” Roslin interrupted him. “You've lost perspective, as have you.” She shifted her attention back to Adama. “Under normal circumstances it would just be sad that the two of you can't come to terms with Zak's death. In this situation, you're putting your pilots at risk and you're exposing the entire fleet to possible attack every moment we stay here.”
“We've been at risk of an attack since day one. Cylons won't be missing the patrol for at least one more day.” Adama countered.
“Colonel Tigh, how much aviation fuel has been expended in this operation?” Roslin asked coldly. She kept staring at Adama as she asked her question. There had to be a way to get them to understand that they couldn’t go on like this.
“Forty-three percent of reserves.” Tigh answered.
“Almost half. That's unacceptable. And operations in the moon's atmosphere have put one-third of your fighters out of action. That is also completely unacceptable.” She went on.
“Crap. Unacceptable. Whatever it is you feel about this, the recovery of one pilot is a military matter.” Adama stated angrily. Deep down he knew she was right. But he couldn’t give up on Kara. She was not just his last link to Zak. Over the past two years she had become like a daughter to him.
“All right... it's military, fine. And you're both officers and you're both honorable men and you're both perfectly aware that you are putting the lives of over 45,000 people and the future of this civilization at risk, for your personal feelings. Now, if the two of you, of all people, can live with that, then the human race doesn't stand a chance. Clear your heads.” She glared at them for a few moments before she turned around and left the room without another word. She hoped deeply that the two Adamas would come to their senses before it was too late.
Tigh followed the President out of the room, leaving Lee and Adama silent for a long while. They were both deep in thought. They knew what they had to do but neither of them seemed to be able to make the first step. Finally Lee pulled himself together and walked over to the phone. When he picked up the receiver he felt like something inside of him just died.
“Combat, stand by.” It seemed to take all the strength he had left to say those words. Then he handed the phone to his father.
Adama hesitated a second before he spoke. “This is the Commander. Terminate search operations, bring everyone home. Prepare the fleet to make a jump into the next system. We're leaving.” Adama looked at his son and in his eyes he saw the same pain he felt deep inside of himself. He walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulders. Right now that was all the comfort he could give to his son. He was hurting too much himself to do more.
Lee and Adama had walked silently beside each other for several minutes before Lee started talking again.
“I want you to know, I think she's wrong. I think we have come to terms with what happened to Zak.”
“I haven't.” Adama said quietly.
Lee felt a stab of guilt spreading through his body. He felt like he was partly responsible for that. After all he had blamed his father for his brother’s death and has refused to talk to him for over two years.
They had finally reached CIC and Lee was about to walk on towards the Hangar Bay when he suddenly stopped and turned back to his father.
“I need to know something: Why did you do this? Why did we do this? Is it for Kara? For Zak? For what?” He didn’t know why he was asking this, he just felt like he needed an explanation, some reason that would make what they did right.
“Kara was family. You do whatever you have to do. Sometimes you break the rules.” Adama replied quietly.
“And if it was me down there instead?” Again Lee wasn’t sure why he had asked this. He wasn’t even sure he wanted an answer to his question this time.
“You don't have to ask that.” Adama stated earnestly.
“Are you sure?” Adama was surprised to see the hesitation in his son’s eyes. Had they really drifted that far apart that his son would think he could ever leave him behind? He stepped closer to Lee and grabbed him on the shoulder. He wanted Lee to know that he really meant his next words.
“If it were you... we'd never leave.”
The surprise in Lee’s eyes at those words almost broke his heart. Before he stepped into CIC and away from his son he promised himself that he would do anything in his power to rebuild his relationship with his son. He never wanted Lee to have any doubts again that his own father would not leave him behind.
Lee had almost reached the Hangar Bay when he heard the call for Action Stations. He quickly ran to his Viper and waited anxiously for his launch clearance. They had waited too long. The Cylons had found them. If anyone died now at the hands of the Cylons it would be his fault.
When he was finally flying in space he noticed that his viper had been the only one that was launched. Apparently his was the only one still capable of flying.
“I guess I'm going solo.“ He muttered under his breath. He figured that was just fair. After all he was partly responsible that they were still here. And it was just one Raider so far. He should be able to shoot him on his own.
Finally he had a visual on the Raider.
“Galactica, Apollo. Target in sight.” He reported over the comm. He started firing immediately but kept missing. Whoever was piloting this Raider was a lot better than any other Cylon Lee had to fight against so far.
“Lords, this bastard's good.” He called out after the Raider had escaped another one of his shots.
“Hold still, you little ....” Again Lee had the Raider before him. He fired but missed yet again. Suddenly he lost sight of the Raider.
“What the ... I've lost him! Galactica, I repeat: He is nowhere to be seen.” Anxiously Lee looked around himself. When he finally located the Raider it was directly above him.
“Holy!” He gasped surprised. “Galactica, the Cylon is now flying in formation with me, right above my head. This thing is acting weird. Hook me through.”
Just as the last words had left his mouth he saw the words “Star” and “Buck” written beneath the Raiders wings and he broke out in a relieved laugh.
“It's Starbuck!” He yelled. Right now he felt like his heart would explode with joy.
“What? Come again, Apollo.” He could hear his father over the comm.
“Galactica, the Cylon Raider is marked "Starbuck"! It's written under the fraking' wing!” He yelled and laughed at the same time.
“Bring it into the bay! If it does anything, take it out!” Adama ordered him.
Lee could hear his father wasn’t quite willing to believe that it really was Kara. But what other reason could there be for the word “Starbuck” to be written on the Raider’s wings? It was Kara, he knew that for sure. “Will do, Galactica, but I tell you what: it has got to be her. This thing was flying with some serious attitude.” He laughed out loud.
As soon as his canopy slid open, Lee climbed out of his Viper and ran over to Kara. The medics had just pulled her out of the Raider and put her on a stretcher. Within seconds he was at her side and watched the medics checking her for any injuries and putting an IV in her.
“Did you miss me?” Kara smiled at him.
Lee needed a few seconds before he was able to reply. Seeing her again, alive and talking, had left him speechless for the moment.
“Every second.” He finally said. He could feel the tears well up in his eyes again. But this time it weren’t tears of despair, they were tears of relief. He had her back.
“Like my new toy?” Kara asked grinning.
“Boy, when you take a souvenir, you don't screw around.” Falling back into their usual banter helped him to regain his composure. Breaking out in tears in front of Kara and the whole Hangar Crew would have been quite embarrassing. So instead of telling her how happy he was to have her back he kept to her joking manner. “Oh, my gods, you smell like a latrine.” He teased her.
“Mmm... you want to give me a bath?” She laughed at him. Lee didn’t give her a response this time. Right now he would have done anything for her.
Lee hadn’t let Kara out of his sight until they reached sickbay. The nurses gently held him back when he wanted to follow Kara into the examining room. Now he was standing in the middle of the waiting room, unable to do anything but stare at the door behind which Kara was being treated.
This was how Adama found his son when he came down to sickbay a few minutes later.
“How is she?” He asked worried.
Lee just kept staring at the door for a few seconds before he slowly turned to his father.
“She’s alive.” He answered in a shaky voice. Now that he knew that Kara was safe all the exhaustion of the past few days seemed to return to him. He suddenly felt weak-kneed and awfully cold. When he started trembling, he pulled his arms around himself to stop the shaking. Then all of the sudden the world around him began to spin and he couldn’t hear his father talking anymore as the blood rushing through his ears got louder and louder.
Adama noticed how all color seemed to drain from his son’s face. “Lee, are you all right?” He asked worried. He saw his son staggering to the side and quickly grabbed him by his shoulders.
The last thing Lee saw before he fainted was the worried face of his father as he tried to keep Lee from dropping to the floor.
Kara lay angrily on her bed staring at the curtain in front of her. She had been brought to this room hours ago and so far Lee hadn’t even poked his head in. He had been by her side the whole time until she was brought into the examining room. And since then: nothing. She was just about to curse him out loud when the curtain was pulled to the side and Adama stepped in.
Suddenly all her anger about Lee was gone and she felt nothing but fear spreading through her body. The last time she had seen the elder Adama he had practically threw her out of his quarters in fury.
“Hello Starbuck, what do you hear?” He smiled at her warmly.
Returning his smile nervously, Kara replied in her usual manner. “Nothing but the rain, Sir.”
Adama saw the fear in Kara’s eyes and he gently took her hand in his. He wanted her to know that there were no hard feelings between them. When he hadn’t known if Kara was alive or not he had realized that he could never hate her, no matter what she did. She really was like a daughter to him and as a father he would always forgive her. And deep down he knew that it wasn’t really Kara’s fault. At least she alone wasn’t responsible for what happened to Zak. For the first time he asked himself if Zak would still be alive if he hadn’t raised his sons under the impression that the military – and even more being a Viper pilot – was the only right way for a man.
Pushing away those thoughts he turned his attention back to Kara.
“How are you feeling?” He asked in a calm voice.
“Been a hell of a lot worse. Don't have any ambrosia but the Doc can fix you up with some really nice stuff.” She grinned slightly. She had seen the love in Adama’s eyes. Even though she had no idea why, he had forgiven her. What was it with her and the Adama men that no matter what they did to each other in the end they always ended up forgiving each other?
“It's not bad, is it? The knee?” So far she had been afraid to ask the question. Cottle hadn’t told her much but now she needed to know. And she knew that Adama wouldn’t lie to her.
“Doc says it's too early to tell, but knowing you, you'll be fine.” He assured her. “Kara...”
“Yeah?”
“You did good... you did real good. Need anything?” He asked.
“A stogie would be nice.” She grinned.
“I had a feeling.” Smiling he took out a cigar out of his uniform pocket and gave it to her. “It's my last one, so enjoy.”
“Thank you.” Kara could feel the tears well up in her eyes. It felt good to have someone take care of her. And she was glad that she hadn’t screwed up in Adama’s eyes.
“Get some rest.” He gently stroked her hair and kissed her on the forehead. He remained at her bedside for a while and they stayed in comfortable silence until Adama noticed how Kara kept glancing at the curtain as if she was expecting someone. And he didn’t have to guess to know who that someone was.
“I’m sure Lee would have been here if he could.” He quietly assured Kara. The image of his son as he lay pale and lifeless in his arms kept reappearing in front of his eyes. He blamed himself that he hadn’t noticed how exhausted Lee had been after all that happened. He should have made sure that he got some rest between his flights. But all he had thought about was getting Kara back safely.
“Oh well, he’s probably busy with being the CAG and all.” Kara cut into Adama’s thoughts. She forced herself to smile at Adama. She didn’t want him to know how much she dreaded seeing his oldest son and how disappointed she was that he hadn’t shown up.
“Actually, he ended up as a patient here same as you.” He quickly went on when he saw the shocked expression on Kara’s face. “He collapsed shortly after you were brought to sickbay due to physical exhaustion. He has been searching for you the last 48 hours without taking a break. That plus the stress from the days before was finally too much for him so his body just shut down. But he’s going to be okay. A little rest and he will be as good as new.” He assured Kara with a warm smile.
Kara just stared at him. She had known that Lee wouldn’t stop looking for her but to that degree? She swallowed once before she got her voice back to speak. “Can I see him?”
“The Doctor doesn’t want you to leave your bed for the next few days, Kara.”
“Please, you can put me in a wheelchair or something. I just want to see with my own eyes that he’s all right. This is my fault after all.” She noticed that the tears that she had tried to force down the last few minutes had started to fall down her face. She quickly wiped them away.
“This is not your fault, Kara. None of it.” The way Adama looked at her Kara knew that he wasn’t just talking about Lee anymore.
Kara looked so miserable that Adama couldn’t bring himself to just leave her like this. But he was needed back in CIC. He had already spent too much time away when he was sitting by Lee’s bedside until he was sure his son would be all right again. So he decided to find a wheelchair for Kara and get her to Lee. He was the Commander after all. And should his son wake up he at least wouldn’t be alone now that Alicia had gone back to her quarters with Nia and he would be back in CIC.
He soon found a wheelchair and helped Kara out of the bed. Then he carefully pushed her into Lee’s room. He was relieved he didn’t meet any nurses on the way. He was the Commander of course but Cottle did in fact overrule him in all medical decisions. He would never admit this to anyone but he always tried to avoid making his ship’s doctor angry. The man had a way to get back to people in the meanest ways. And Adama wasn’t getting any younger. He probably would need the doctor more and more with the coming years if the Cylons didn’t get to him before. And he didn’t want to find himself on Cottle’s revenge list should he ever need him.
Kara sat anxiously next to Lee’s bed waiting for any sign that he might wake up soon. Her knee had started hurting about an hour ago but she didn’t care. She just wanted to be near Lee and see for herself that he was still breathing. Even though Adama had assured her otherwise she did feel responsible. If she hadn’t been so stupid to try to take eight Raiders on her own, Lee wouldn’t be laying here.
She thought back to the dreadful hours she had spent on that moon. While she had been falling down towards the moon she had wanted it all to end. She had thought that should she die now the pain would finally go away. She couldn’t hurt the Adamas anymore. She had wanted to die. But the second she had realized that the crash hadn’t killed her, the thought of Lee had kept her alive. For some stupid reason she felt that if she died on that moon she would let him down. And she had promised herself she would never do that again. So she had kept fighting. And thinking of Lee she had found a way back to the fleet. Only to realize that yet again because of her he had been hurt.
“Why didn’t you take a break at least once, you stupid frakker?” She whispered in a shaky voice. Suddenly she saw him stir and his eyes started to open slowly. She immediately grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. She didn’t want him to fall asleep right away again.
Slowly Lee came back to consciousness. When he noticed someone holding his hand he forced his eyes to open. He was surprised to find Kara sitting next to him.
“Hey, welcome to the living.” She greeted him with a big smile on her face.
“Hey ...” He was surprised how weak his voice sounded and how hard it was to form words. He looked around himself and noticed that he was lying in a hospital bed. “Shouldn’t you be the one lying here?” He mumbled confused.
“Yeah, I should, but as usual you stole the attention from me. You collapsed a few hours ago after I was brought here.” She had meant to tease him at first but had sounded quiet serious at the end.
Lee tried to comprehend what she was telling him. “I steal the attention from you?” He raised an eyebrow. Then her last words hit home with him. “I collapsed?”
“Physical exhaustion. Not that I’m not grateful that you took all the trouble on yourself to get me back but the next time make sure you don’t get hurt in the process, okay?” The worry in her voice was evident even though she tried not to show it.
Lee didn’t even bother to answer her. He simply felt too tired to talk anymore. He managed to give her a small smile before he closed his eyes again and fell back to sleep. Smiling Kara watched him sleeping. She would have been content to spend the night at his side, holding his hand and make sure that he was all right. But the night nurse destroyed that plan.
“There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Doctor Cottle is going to tear you apart when he hears that you left your bed. How did you get in this wheelchair anyway?”
Kara sighed. The way the nurse glanced at her she didn’t had much chance objecting. “I had help. And I’m not afraid of Cottle.” She replied smugly.
“Ha, you will be when he’s done with you.” The nurse laughed quietly. She didn’t want to wake the Captain. She ignored Kara’s annoyed glare and pushed her out of the room back to her own.
Alicia had hardly slept all night. She hadn’t wanted to leave Lee’s side but Nia needed her sleep and so she had reluctantly gone back to her quarters. She had hardly seen anything of Lee the past two days and right now she missed him more than ever. She would make sure that something like this would never happen again. She wouldn’t stand by and watch how he worked himself half to death, no matter what was at stake. She would look out for him, just as he had looked out for her.
She was surprised to hear a knock on the door. She never had any visitors since she came to Galactica. When she opened the hatch she found her father-in-law standing before her.
“Good Morning. I thought I come by and see if there is anything I can do for you.” Adama said as he stepped into the room.
“Oh, that’s very nice of you. But we’re fine, thanks.” Alicia looked slightly uncomfortable. Her quarters didn’t look exactly tidy. Even though Nia didn’t have many toys to play with she had managed to spread them everywhere around the room.
“Have you heard anything from Lee?” She asked as she picked up some toys from the floor.
“I spoke with Cottle before I got here. He woke up a few times for a couple of minutes. He expects a full recovery soon.” Adama told her.
“That’s good to hear.” She paused for a second and looked down on her hands. “I wish there was something I could do to help him. So far I’ve been nothing but a burden.” She whispered.
Adama wasn’t sure if her last words had even meant for him to hear but he responded anyway. “I can’t imagine that Lee sees you as a burden, Alicia. A blind man can see how deeply he loves you.”
Alicia slightly blushed at Adama’s words. She wasn’t really used to talking about something this private with someone she hardly knew. Even if this person was her father-in-law. In situations like this she missed Lee’s mother the most. She had always been able to talk to Caroline about anything.
“Maybe there is something I can do for you.” Adama went on when Alicia didn’t say anything.
“What do you mean?” She looked at him confused.
Adama took a deep breath before he continued. “I know that’s really not any of my business but it came to my attention that you recently had to spend a night in sickbay. If you are sick, I’d really like to help. I want you to know that you and Lee can always count on me even despite the still estranged relationship between my son and me. So, if there is anything I can do, just let me know.”
Alicia hesitated a few moments before she responded. She didn’t feel comfortable telling Lee’s father about her disease. But she couldn’t burden Lee with this alone anymore. Should she get sick again, it would be good to know that he would have someone to rely on. Someone other than Kara Thrace. She was certain that his breakdown last night did not only result form the search for Kara but also from the stress and worries from the days before. So she took all her courage and told him everything that had happened.
When Lee woke up he found his wife sitting at his bed side.
“Hey.” He greeted her in a still sleepy voice.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” Alicia looked at him concerned.
“Much better. I guess I really did need a break.” He smiled at her shyly. The truth was he found this whole thing just embarrassing.
“The next time just say so instead of collapsing in your father’s arms.” She smiled at him. She was relieved to see him awake again, talking and joking. When she had seen him last night shortly after his breakdown he had looked so vulnerable that it had torn her apart.
“I’ll try to keep that in mind the next time.” He replied. Then he fully comprehended what she had just said. “My father’s arms?” He groaned. This was just getting more and more embarrassing every second.
Alicia just laughed at his miserable expression. Lee might despise the fact that his father had witnessed his breakdown, but Alicia was grateful that he had been there.
“Where’s Nia?” Lee suddenly asked.
“She’s with your father.” Alicia explained. She wasn’t even angry about Lee’s question. The way she knew Lee, he just missed his daughter terribly.
“Alone?” Lee looked so stunned that it made Alicia laugh.
“I think he can handle our daughter for a short time.”
“He doesn’t have much experience with children, you know. It’s not like he was much around when we were kids.” Lee looked really worried.
Alicia loved this side of him. He would do anything to protect his daughter. Anything, except for leaving Kara Thrace behind, she thought bitterly. Somehow she still felt jealous of the other woman. Pushing those thoughts aside, she turned her attention back to Lee and responded to his last remark.
“We didn’t have much experience ourselves, remember?”
“Yeah, but at least we had my mother. Seriously, I don’t think Nia would have survived those first weeks if she hadn’t been there. I made one mistake after the other. It’s a miracle I didn’t drop her at one point.” The second those words had left his mouth he wished he could take them back. He knew exactly how bad Alicia felt for missing the first weeks in Nia’s life. She had gotten sick right after Nia was born and even though he kept telling her that none of what had happened was her fault, she still felt guilty.
“Lee, I’m sorry for everything. You gave up so much for me and I never ...”
“Ali ...” Lee tried to cut in but Alicia interrupted him.
“No, let me finish. I never really thanked you. You always took care of me, you never gave up on us, no matter how hard it got and I’m really grateful for that. Just three days ago I promised myself to be the perfect wife for you and only a short time later I yelled at you for trying to find your friend. I ...”
This time Lee managed to interrupt his wife. “Ali, I don’t want you to be perfect. I just want you to be happy. And you have every right to scream or yell at me when I piss you off. I know I tend to do that pretty often lately.” He smiled at her slightly.
For a moment they just looked at each other intently. Then Alicia suddenly started crying. “I don’t even deserve you.” She said between sobs.
“Don’t even think that.” Lee pulled her close and they hugged for a long time.
After a while Alicia calmed down again. “I think I better look for our daughter. As much as I trust your father to look after her, I don’t think he can handle her yet when she gets hungry.” Alicia said smiling while she wiped away the last tears from her face.
“Could you bring Nia with you when you come the next time?” Lee blushed slightly as he asked her. He didn’t like to admit the fact that he couldn’t spent one day without his daughter without missing her terribly. He had no idea how he had managed that while he was still stationed on the Atlantia.
“Sure, we’ll come back this afternoon. When she has finished her nap.” Alicia told him. She had to hold back not to hug him again. He was so sweet when it came to his daughter - like a whole other person.
“That would be great. I guess I have to stay here until tomorrow. I tried to convince Cottle to release me sooner but so far ...”
“Don’t you dare walk out of here before he releases you personally. And don’t even try to sneak out of here. I’ll check on your release papers myself if I have to.” She looked at him sternly.
“Okay, okay, I’ll stay right here.” Lee gave in. “But maybe you could bring me some paperwork ...”
“Yeah right!” She laughed. Then she gave him a quick kiss and left the room.
Lee looked at his retreating wife. He couldn’t understand what had been so funny about his last remark. He just wanted to finish on some papers while he was here. It wasn’t like he could do much else while he had to stay in bed. And he didn’t think he could sleep anymore after all the hours he had been sleeping since Kara got back. But he figured she wouldn’t bring any papers and she would probably kill him if he got anyone else to get them for him. So with nothing else to do he closed his eyes and tried to get some more sleep. He was deep asleep seconds later.
Chapter 9
Lee sat impatiently on his bed in sickbay waiting for Cottle. He had promised him that he would be released today, but so far he hadn’t shown up to make it official. Just when he was about to jump off the bed and go looking for him, his father stepped into the room.
“You’re not thinking of releasing yourself, are you?” Adama asked grinning. He knew exactly how Lee felt. It would be as hard for him to stay in bed all day in sickbay without having anything to do. And he knew for sure that Alicia hadn’t allowed Lee to even glance at his still-waiting paperwork.
“I’m waiting for Cottle. He said I could go today.” Lee let out a frustrated sigh.
“I’m sure he’ll be here any minute.” Adama assured him. The truth was, he had just spoken to Cottle and had asked him to wait a few minutes as he wanted to talk to Lee without anyone disturbing them. And without Lee having the chance to leave the room.
“I spoke with Alicia yesterday.” Adama went on.
“Oh, uhm, good ..” Lee wasn’t quite sure where his father was going with this and waited for him to continue.
“She told me about her disease and her relapse a few days ago. She also told me that you had hardly any sleep at all because of that. Well, and because everything else that happened lately, of course. It’s no wonder you collapsed.”
Blushing Lee looked at his father. “Look, Dad, I didn’t ...”
“I really wish you had come to me, Lee. I’m your father. What I told you a few days ago, that you can always come to me with everything, I really meant that.” Adama looked intently at his son.
“I know. I ... I guess I’m just not quite used to that yet.” Lee said quietly.
For a few moments they both kept quiet, searching for the right words to say.
“I found a babysitter for you.” Adama finally broke the silence.
“What?” Lee looked confused at his father.
“Alicia is going to work here in sickbay for a few hours a day. She can’t sit around her quarters all day, she would go stir crazy with the time. I know she is not a trained nurse, but she can help with the little things.” And Cottle can have an eye on her, Adama thought. “And while she’s working, you need someone to look after Nia. So I found you a babysitter.”
Lee looked stunned at his father for a second. “When did that all happen?”
“It was all settled yesterday. You were already asleep when Alicia talked to Cottle. And I kinda wanted to be the one to tell you.” Adama smiled. He paused a moment before he continued. “You’re not alone, Lee. If you need help, all you have to do is ask.”
Again Lee stayed silent for a few moments. “Thanks.” He finally said quietly.
“There’s more coming.” Adama said smiling.
“What else? Did you get a job for Nia too?” Lee said teasingly. He suddenly enjoyed talking to his father. For the first time it felt really good to be close to him again. It felt good to have someone take care of his problems.
Adama chuckled at Lee’s last remark. “I know that you can’t wait to jump back to work and with all the paperwork waiting for your I can understand that only too well. But you still need some rest. So, as your commanding officer, I order you to take this day off. And as your father ... I’m telling you to take your family and enjoy the day on Cloud Nine. A Raptor will be waiting for you as soon as you get out of here.” Adama couldn’t hide the big smile spreading across his face at the perplexed look on his son’s face.
“Dad, I can’t just leave Galactica and enjoy the day. I have lots of work to do. Now, not that I’m not grateful, but ...” Lee tried to object but was interrupted again.
“No buts, Captain. I don’t want to see you anywhere on this ship until the day is over.” Adama said, all Commander again. “Go spent some time with your wife and daughter. All three of you deserve a day off.”
When Lee was finally cleared to leave sickbay, he went to see Kara. He hadn’t seen her after his breakdown. He thought she had been at his side when he woke up the first time. But everyone had told him that her knee was so badly injured, that she wouldn’t be able to leave her own bed for the next few days. So he figured it must have been just a dream.
Every time he had wanted to sneak out of his room, either his father, Alicia or a nurse had come into his room and stopped him. He swore that if anyone told him again he needed his rest he would jump out of the nearest airlock.
When Lee stepped into Kara’s room, she was deep asleep. He stood at her bedside a couple of minutes, just watching her steady breathing. He felt a wave of relief wash over him at having her back. He wished he could keep her safe here on Galactica forever. He couldn’t stand to lose her again. Without even thinking about it, he took her hand and brought it to his mouth to give it a gentle kiss.
“Don’t ever do something like that again, Kara.” He whispered. “I still need you around.”
When Lee stepped out of sickbay, he saw Alicia and Nia walking towards him. Nia was trying to drag her mother to move faster, which looked pretty funny considering that she couldn’t even really run with her short legs.
“What’s the rush, pumpkin?” Lee laughed as he knelt down and Nia flung into his arms.
“Daddy.” She called out excitedly.
“I missed you too, pumpkin.” Smiling he looked up to his wife. “I heard we’re going on vacation.”
“It’s about time we get one.” Alicia smiled back. “Your father just told me that the Raptor is ready and waiting for us ... I can’t wait to get off this ship for a few hours.”
“Let’s go then.” Lee chuckled. He had given in to the fact that he wouldn’t get any work done today either way, so he decided to simply enjoy the day and worry about everything else tomorrow.
When they stepped onto the hangar bay Nia looked around herself in awe. She was clearly fascinated by all the ships and the people working on them. Smiling Lee put his daughter on his arms and pointed at his viper, standing only a few feet away.
“See that, Nia? That’s your Daddy’s viper.” He told her with a big smile on his face.
“Viper.” Nia called out even more excited and stretched out her hands in the viper’s direction. Laughing Lee went over to his ship and let her take a closer look.
“Don’t you dare let her fall in love with flying, Lee Adama. It’s bad enough that I have to worry about you all the time.” Alicia said, only half joking. She knew it would be years before Nia was old enough to even think about flying – if they ever got that old anyway – but the thought alone of her little girl flying around in a viper – fighting Cylons even – scared her to the bone.
“Nia can do what ever she wants when she’s old enough. I won’t influence her in any way.” Lee said determinedly. He wouldn’t repeat his father’s mistakes. Then he turned back to his daughter. “If you don’t want to be a viper pilot, that’s perfectly all right. But if you do, remember to not follow Starbuck’s example. Please try to remember that.” He said teasingly.
“That’s not funny. I don’t want her to be a pilot and I don’t want her to follow anyone’s example regarding that.” Alicia said more serious. Did he have to bring up Starbuck? As if that woman hadn’t been on his mind enough the past few days.
“If she really wants to be a viper pilot there really wouldn’t be anything for us to do against it, believe me.” Lee told her. He remembered the endless discussions he had with Zak. He had tried to convince him several times that flying vipers wasn’t his only choice in life. But being William “Husker” Adama’s son, he hadn’t listened to him. And now he was dead. He wouldn’t let that happen to his daughter.
Suddenly Lee had to laugh about himself. Only a few days ago he had told his father that he had come to terms with what happened to Zak and here he was worrying that his not even 2 years old daughter might die in a viper crash. He really was pathetic.
Pushing away those thoughts Lee lead his family to the waiting raptor.
All three enjoyed the artificial sun on Cloud Nine. They were having a picnic in Cloud Nine’s park. They had gotten some food from a nearby store – Lee had to promise the owner a tour through Galactica; nowadays something like that was more worth than money. Alicia lay on the fresh-smelling grass with closed eyes, while Lee desperately tried to get his daughter to eat. Apparently everything else around her was a lot more interesting than the food he had to offer her.
“Come on, Nia. This almost takes like real ice cream. You remember ice cream, don’t you? Your grandma always went to the park with you and bought you some. Remember?” Lee told his daughter.
“Granny.” Nia laughed happily and kept picking at the grass around her.
“Yeah, you do remember her.” Lee was relieved about that more than he would have admitted to himself. He knew that she would eventually forget all about his mother. She was just too young. But as long as she had the tiniest bit of memory of her grandmother he would keep reminding her. Maybe she would at least remember the stories later.
“Did you get her to eat something yet?” Alicia asked with her eyes still closed.
“No, she cares more about the grass. I’m just glad she hasn’t tried to eat that yet.” Lee replied frustrated. “I don’t get it. This is ice cream. Doesn’t every child like ice cream? I have to play tour guide for this.”
Sighing Alicia opened her eyes. “Of course she likes ice cream, but she knows that you will get her another one when she doesn’t eat this. And right now the grass is more interesting for her.” She had to laugh at the blank expression on her husband’s face.
“I will not buy her any more ice cream. If I do that, I’ll be a tour guide for the rest of my life. I don’t think my father or the president would approve if I gave up my other jobs for that.”
“Of course you’ll buy her more. You always do.” Alicia laughed again.
Lee wanted to object, but he knew she was right. He just couldn’t say no to his daughter. Sighing he turned back to Nia.
“You sure you don’t want that, Nia? It tastes really good.” He took a bite and stroked his stomach to show how delicious the ice cream tasted.
“Look Daddy.” Excitedly Nia held a blade of grass in front of Lee’s face, totally ignoring the ice cream.
“How nice.” Lee smiled. Then he let out a small breath and started eating the ice cream himself before it melted completely. He was already thinking of anything else he could offer that guy in the store for some more.
“Now I’m getting hungry. Why don’t we go to one of the restaurants over there?” Alicia suggested.
“Good idea.” Lee agreed. At least there he didn’t have to worry about the payment. All pilots could eat for free in Cloud Nine’s restaurants. A special favor of the ship’s Captain to make sure that the pilots were extra motivated to protect Cloud Nine from incoming missiles.
“Hmm, this was delicious.” Alicia sighed. She had really enjoyed eating real food for a change. She could finally understand Lee’s constant complaints about the food on the Atlantia.
“She hardly ate anything.” Lee said pointing at his daughter. “I don’t think that’s normal. Maybe she’s sick.” Worried he held his hand on Nia’s forehead to check her temperature. It felt perfectly normal.
“Lee, she’s just not hungry. She’ll let us know when she wants something. This whole trip is just so exciting for her. She’s hardly been out of her room lately. And there are just so many interesting things for her to watch here. It’s no wonder she doesn’t care much about food. She can have that every day.” Alicia told her husband.
“I don’t know ...” Lee still looked skeptical and kept trying to get Nia to eat more. Her plate was still half full and there hadn’t been much food on it in the first place.
“Why don’t we go back out and enjoy the sun. I’m sure that running around the park is going to make her very hungry.” Alicia said smiling. She tried hard not to laugh at the sight of her worried husband. She knew that he had no reason to worry. Nia had always eaten when she wanted to, not when the adults had planned for her to eat. “And stop worrying so much. You’re supposed to enjoy the day.”
“That’s a good idea. And I am enjoying the day.” Lee said determinedly. He looked so earnest when he spoke that Alicia had to chuckle She figured that getting him to fully relax in one day was just not possible.
On their way back to the park, Alicia told Lee about her new job in sickbay.
“I’m really looking forward to this. Finally I have something meaningful to do. Not that I don’t like watching Nia but I don’t think I can sit around another day in our quarters doing nothing but playing with her doll. I really don’t know why we bought her all those other toys. Most of the time she just ignores them.”
“I told you it was a good doll when we bought it. I know what my daughter likes.” Lee said proudly.
“Right.” Alicia replied grinning. She knew how proud Lee was that one of the few toys that he had bought himself turned out to be Nia’s favorite. “Oh, and I have so many ideas for the job already. I could ...”
“Hey, take it easy, okay? Even if it’s just for a few hours a day, you haven’t worked in a while. I don’t want you to over-exert yourself.” Lee tried hard to ignore the nagging feeling in the back of his head that kept looking for any signs of Alicia’s reappearing disease. Every time she felt overly excited about something he worried if this might be the start of another relapse. He wanted to be happy for her. He was happy for her. Why couldn’t he simply forget her disease for at least a few hours?
“Don’t worry. I’ll be careful. Anyway, now that Mathilda is there to help us ... Did your father tell you about her?”
“Is she the nanny?”
“Yes, Mathilda Musann. She used to work in a kindergarten on the colonies. She has so many wrinkles that she looks like a hundred years old, but after seeing her with Nia I’m convinced she’s fitter than you and me together. And she’s one of the most adorable persons I have ever met. Nia already loved her after five minutes.”
“Well, that sounds good.” Lee said. He would wait with his praise about this new Nanny until he had met her in person. Nia practically loved everyone after five minutes and Alicia was easy to influence. So the fact that they both already liked her meant nothing.
“Your father spoke with her herself before he offered her the job, you know. I think if he approves of her, than you have nothing to worry about. I’m pretty sure he would have never made it to be a Commander if he didn’t have a good sense about people’s character.” Alicia told Lee. She had noticed the wrinkles on his forehead that always appeared when he was worried about something.
“I just want to meet her myself, that’s all.” Lee said defensively.
“And you will. She’s moving to the Galactica tomorrow. I’m so excited. Finally I get something to do. And should you get yourself back to sickbay at least I have the perfect excuse to hover over you 24 hours a day.” She said grinning.
“I have to disappoint you. I’m not planning to get back there in the near future. And if I have to become a patient again, I don’t want my wife to hover over me. You know, they have this really hot nurse there and ...” Lee said teasingly.
“Lee Adama!” Alicia laughed while she slapped him on the arm.
“Don’t worry, you’re the only one I want to take care of me.” Lee assured her smiling as he pulled her closer for a kiss.
The rest of the day they enjoyed in the park. Lee had rented a ball from one of the nearby stores and taught Nia how to catch it. She never managed to really catch the ball but she came pretty close. Most of the time she just kicked the ball back with her foot. She seemed to love that more than actually catching the ball. And Lee was proud of her nevertheless.
When they got back to Galactica Lee decided to check on Kara before going back to his quarters.
“Yeah Kara.” Nia called out excited. She really seemed to have bonded with her in the few hours they had spent together.
“Do you want to come with me?” Lee asked her.
“Yes.” She excitedly nodded her head.
“Okay. What about you?” He turned to Alicia.
“Uh, no, I think I’ll go back to our room. I’m feeling pretty tired.” Alicia replied hesitantly. The last thing she wanted was to see Kara Thrace after this wonderful day they had. It annoyed her that Lee was going to see her now, but there wasn’t much she could do to stop him. She told herself that he was just looking out for one of his pilots. But it annoyed her even more that Nia seemed to like Kara too. What was it with this woman that every member of the Adama family fell for her so easily?
“Okay, I’ll meet you there then.” Lee gave her a quick kiss and went to sickbay.
“Hey, you’re finally awake.” Lee said when he stepped into Kara’s room.
“What do you mean, finally? I’ve been awake almost every boring second of the day.” Kara groaned.
“Well, when I checked on you this morning you were deep asleep.” Lee smiled at her.
“Kara.” Nia, who had been standing next to Lee, tugged impatiently at Kara’s blanket. Surprised Kara looked down. She hadn’t even noticed the little girl yet.
“Hey Nia. Nice of you to come by.” Kara smiled at her.
“She couldn’t wait to see you.” Lee told her. He didn’t tell her that he had been as impatient as his daughter to finally talk to Kara again. “So, how’s your knee?” He asked while he sat Nia on Kara’s bedside.
“It’s bad. Doc says it could take weeks before I can fly a viper again.” Kara said in a sad voice.
“Don’t worry. I’ll keep you busy till then.” Lee grinned at her.
“I bet you will.” Kara laughed. “But first I have to start walking. I can’t even move this frakking knee. Frak!” She suddenly called out frustrated.
“Hey, watch your language.” Lee told her but it was already too late.
“Frak!” Nia called out, happy she learned a new word.
“Great. Ali is going to kill me. Lee sighed.
“Jut put it on me. She’s not going to hurt a disabled woman, is she?” Kara grinned.
“I wouldn’t count on it.” Lee replied.
They were interrupted when a nurse came in with a tray of food for Kara.
“Time for dinner, Lieutenant.” The nurse said as she put the tray in front of Kara.
“Great, thanks.” Kara nodded and looked somehow terrified at the tray. “Did you know that the food in sickbay is even worse than in the mess?” She asked Lee after the nurse had left.
“I had my share,” Lee laughed. After all he already had to spend more time in sickbay than he liked. And he hadn’t even been on the Galactica for very long.
“Hungry.” Nia stated and looked eagerly at the food on Kara’s tray.
“Oh, now you want to eat. Well, I guess we can go to the mess on our way back.” Lee sighed. All day he had tried to give his daughter something special to eat and she chose the worst food fleet wide.
“That won’t be necessary. We can share mine, right Nia?” Kara smiled at the little girl.
“Yeah.” Nia had already started to pick something to eat for herself from the tray.
Smiling Lee pulled a chair closer and watched the two eating. Astoundingly Nia ate all the food mostly alone, while Kara only took a bite every now and than.
“One doesn’t get very hungry just by lying around all day.” She explained. “It’s just plain boring. Now that you’re up again, make sure to come by more often.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“If you don’t, I’ll just keep your daughter with me.” Kara said grinning.
“I don’t think her mother would appreciate that.” Lee replied laughing.
“So, did you enjoy your stay on Cloud Nine? Your father told me.” She explained at the questioning look on Lee’s face.
“Yes, we did. It was great. Almost like a real holiday. Nice dinner, ice cream, some playing in the park, just relaxing and nothing to worry about.” Lee said raving.
“Sounds nice. But I can hardly believe you had nothing to worry about. You always find something to worry about.” Kara said with an evil grin.
“That’s so not true.” Lee chuckled. He tried to forget the fact that most of the time today he had been afraid his daughter was sick because she didn’t want to eat and that he had looked out for any signs for Alicia’s disease. He was able to relax every once in a while.
“I remember that one trip we went with Zak. We had the best weather for weeks and you kept worrying it might start raining that weekend of all days. You were the only one with a rain coat.”
“And I was right.” Lee stated laughing. He remembered that they had all ended up huddled together under a tree with only his raincoat to protect them from the rain. It had been one hell of a storm and they all had a pretty bad cold afterwards.
Ignoring his last remark, Kara noticed in astonishment how quickly Nia had been eating. “Didn’t you say you had dinner? Your daughter finished this plate so fast you would think that she hadn’t anything to eat all day.”
“Believe me, I tried my best. I got her ice cream, chocolate, a really great dinner. She didn’t want any of it. Apparently she had been waiting for this.” Lee groaned as he pointed to the empty plate.
“Chocolate? Lee, you’re a cruel, mean person.” Kara looked at him indignantly. She was practically addicted to chocolate and she knew that he knew that very well.
“Well, if that’s true, I better keep that extra chocolate I got. I don’t want to mess with that image.”
“Extra chocolate?” Kara looked up excited. “Lee, you’re the best.”
“All of the sudden I’m the best? You better make up your mind what I am ... Here.” Smiling he handed her a chocolate bar he had kept in his pocket.
When Kara took her first bite she looked like she was in heaven. “I’d crash on any moon anytime for this.” She said smiling.
“Don’t even think about that.” Lee shot her a warning look. “We better get going. It’s time for Nia to get to bed and Ali is probably already waiting for us.” Lee bent down to give Kara a good bye kiss on the forehead. Only seconds before his lips touched her skin, he stopped in his tracks. What was he doing here? He had never kissed Kara before. Well, unless that one night years ago in academy, but they had both been drunk at the time, so that didn’t count. Hesitantly he got up again and looked in Kara’s surprised eyes.
“Uhm, good night then.” He stammered and quickly turned around to leave the room.
Stunned Kara watched him leaving. Had he just almost kissed her? And why did he stop? A kiss on the forehead wasn’t that uncommon for friends, even if they usually didn’t do that. She was surprised at herself how disappointed she was that he hadn’t gone through with the kiss.
The next day Alicia anxiously waited, with Nia on her arms, in the hangar bay for all passengers to leave the Scorpia Traveler. Mathilda Musann, Nia’s new Nanny, was supposed to come with that shuttle. But so far the only familiar person she had seen coming from the shuttle had been this man she knew from her time on Colonial One, Donnell or Doral, she couldn’t really remember his name. For a moment she had considered greeting him but she didn’t really like him, so she decided to say nothing.
“Is she here yet?” Lee asked, slightly out of breath. He had just come back from CAP and had hurried to meet his new nanny when she arrived on Galactica.
“Do you see her here somewhere?” Alicia snapped. She was still a bit angry that Lee had gone to Kara last night and this morning again right before his CAP. “Oh, there she is.” She suddenly called out excitedly. “Mathilda, over here.”
Alicia hadn’t exaggerated when she had said that Mathilda looked like she was a hundred years old, Lee thought smiling when he saw the old woman coming towards them. Yet she was beaming with so much energy that Lee had no doubts she was still capable of taking care of his daughter. She had such an endearing smile that even without talking to her he already liked her. That didn’t happen to him very often.
“You must be Lee Adama.” Mathilda greeted him. “It’s nice to meet you. Your wife has already told me what a great father and husband you are.” She spoke in a warm, soft voice and Lee liked her even more. He could finally understand Alicia’s excitement about her. This woman was a gift from the gods.
“Sounds like she left out the bad stuff.” Lee laughed. “It’s nice to meet you too.”
“Hello Nia.” Mathilda turned to the little girl who had been smiling at her the whole time. “It’s good to see you again.” She gently stroked over Nia’s hair before she turned back to Lee and Alicia. “I’m really grateful that you let me take care of your daughter. There weren’t any children on my ship and I really missed having them around me.”
“We’re even more grateful that you are willing to help us.” Alicia assured her.
“Why don’t we show you your new quarters? It’s only a few minutes away from ours.” Lee said while he picked up Mathilda’s bag.
“Frak.” Nia called laughingly. Lee blushed immediately and Alicia looked shocked at her daughter. Mathilda had to hide her laughter.
“Where did you learn that word?” Alicia asked completely taken aback. She had been so careful never to swear around her daughter. Angrily she stared at Lee.
But before either one of them could say anything, they heard a loud explosion and the whole ship shook from the vibration.
“What was that?” Alica called out afraid.
“That sounded like ...” Lee’s voice trailed off. He didn’t want to scare them any more than nessacary. “Go straight to our quarters and wait there until I get back, okay?” Lee gave the bag back to Mathilda and quickly left.
When Lee reached the corridor where the explosion took place, he was shocked at the amount of damage. Everywhere he saw injured people. Suddenly his eyes fell on his father.
“Dad, are you all right?” He called out immediately and ran over to this father.
“I’m fine, thanks to Saul.” Adama nodded gratefully in Colonel Tigh’s direction who was helping one of the injured crew members.
“What happened?” Lee wanted to know.
“Aaron Doral.” Adama replied quietly.
“What?” Lee looked at his father confused.
“Somehow he came onboard, probably with the last shuttle. He blew himself up in this corridor.” Adama explained.
Lee stayed quietly. He was sure that this wouldn’t have happened if they had informed the public of the fact that the Cylons looked like humans now. But it wasn’t his place to say. And he had already talked about this with his father before. It wouldn’t make much sense bringing this up again, especially now.
For the next several hours Lee helped with the repairs in the corridor. He only stopped when it was time for his CAP. Sighing he looked at the damaged corridor one last time. He remembered the last day and how much he had enjoyed spending some free time with his family. The last day simply had been too perfect. He had known that it wouldn’t stay like this forever, he had just hoped he could enjoy some peaceful time for a little while longer.
Terrified Alicia sat next to the radio and listened to Roslin’s speech. The Cylons looked like humans now? How was that even possible? Of course she had heard the rumors but she had never believed them. And now it turned out they were true all along. Suddenly a conversation she had had with Kara and Lee a few days after their jump from Ragnar came back to her mind. Kara had asked her if the rumors about the humanoid Cylons were true. Lee had practically thrown her out of his office after she had kept questioning. He hadn’t been really angry at the time but it was clear that he didn’t want to talk about it. And there was only one reason for that: He knew. He knew all along that Cylons looked like humans now. And he had never said a word. She could feel the anger and panic spread through her body. Everyone could be a Cylon. And Lee hadn’t even warned her about it. He and his father were the only people who she knew that were 100 percent human. But anyone else? Even Kara could be a Cylon. Gods, even Mathilda could be a Cylon.
A few hours after President Roslin had held her speech, Alicia still sat scared and curled together on the chair next to the radio. When the hatch to her quarters suddenly opened, she jumped out of the chair and grabbed the next best thing – one of Nia’s toys – and threw it at whoever entered the room.
“Ow.” Lee cried out in surprise when the toy hit him on the head. “Why did you do that?”
“Lee.” Relieved, Alicia ran towards her husband and put her arms around him. Startled Lee pulled her into a tight embrace. “Ali, what’s wrong?”
At this moment Alicia remembered that Lee had kept this new information about the Cylons from her. She pulled out of the embrace and hit him hard on his arm. “You frakking idiot! How could you not tell me?” She didn’t even care that she was cursing in front of her daughter. She was so furious now that she didn’t even think about watching her language.
“So you heard Roslin’s speech.” Lee sighed. He had wanted to tell Alicia for days but this information had been confidential. He had promised his father - and commander - not to tell anyone, including his wife. And he didn’t want to start his new job as CAG with going against orders.
“You bastard! You knew all along. I was going to leave our daughter with a complete stranger for hours because I thought Nia would be safe with her. And now she could be a Cylon!” Alicia yelled at him.
Lee looked stunned at this wife. “You don’t really think that Mrs. Musann is a Cylon, do you? You said yourself she looks like a hundred years old. I don’t believe the Cylons would bother creating a model that old. I think it’s safe to say that Mathilda Musann is not a Cylon.”
“How do you know that? It could be a trick. I’m not going to leave Nia alone with her.” Alicia said determinedly.
“Ali, stop!” Lee grabbed his wife by her arms and forced her to look at him. “Don’t start with that. We can’t go running around assuming that everyone is a Cylon.” He suddenly had to think about the trial Sergeant Hadrian had started to find out how the Cylon could have reached that specific corridor. It wasn’t allowed for Civilians to be there. The Sergeant had actually called Chief Tyrol as her main suspect. He knew that was ridiculous. Tyrol was probably the most loyal man they had on Galactica. There was no way he would betray them to the Cylons – or be a Cylon. He truly hoped his father would stop this madness soon.
“We have to trust the people we know. And I’ve only known Mathilda Musann for a few minutes, but you and my father both assured me she was trustworthy. And from what I saw this morning I’m inclined to believe you. We can’t go running around assuming everyone is the enemy. It would destroy us and that’s what the Cylons want. I don’t want my daughter to grow up in a world like that.”
“I want to believe you, Lee, but ...” Her voice trailed off.
Lee wished there was something he could do to help her. Suddenly he had an idea. “Dr. Baltar is trying to invent a Cylon detector. I could ask him to run a test on Mrs. Musann as soon as he’s finished. There’s got to be an advantage to being the commander’s son. I’m sure he’d be willing to make an exception.”
“She wants us to call her Mathilda, not Mrs. Musann.” Alicia said quietly after some time.
“Is that a yes?” Lee said smiling.
“Yes. But I won’t leave her alone with Nia until the results are back. Sickbay will just have to wait a while longer.”
“I’m sure Cottle understands that.” Smiling and relieved that he was able to calm his wife, Lee pulled her into a tight embrace. They stood like this for a very long time.
The next day Lee went to see Dr. Baltar first thing in the morning. When he stepped into the doctor’s lab, he stopped in surprise. It looked like Baltar was flirting with his computer. This man really was nuts. He cleared his throat to announce his presence.
“Ahem, Dr. Baltar, do you have a minute?”
Startled Baltar turned around and stared at Lee. “Uh, Captain, what a surprise, I didn’t expect anyone ...” His voice trailed off and he stared at an empty space next to him.
How this man ever turned out to be a genius was a mystery for Lee. But maybe geniuses had to be crazy to be that good. There was a downside to everything.
“I need to ask for a favor, Doctor.” Lee said hesitantly. When Baltar asked him to continue, he quickly explained the situation. Baltar was very willing to help him and assured him that as soon as he finished his work on the Cylon detector, he would run a test on Mathilda Musann. After thanking him, Lee quickly left the lab again. He didn’t like to be around that man and was glad he had agreed to help so quickly.
On his way to his own office he ran into his father.
“Good Morning, Commander.” He greeted his father.
“Captain.” Adama nodded at his son. He apparently wasn’t in the best mood.
“Are you going to CIC?” Lee asked.
“No, I was asked to testify before Hadrian’s trial.” He groaned.
“You?” Lee chuckled.
“This whole thing was a mistake. Hadrian is going too far.”
“What are you going to do?” Lee asked.
“Let’s see what she wants first.” Adama said and went on with his way.
Later that day Lee learned that Adama had ended the trial. Apparently Hadrian had started blaming the Commander for what happened the last day and he had finally had enough. The trial didn’t end without finding someone to blame though – at least partially. A deckhand was put in the brig for 30 days for leaving a hatch open that had allowed the Cylon to reach the destroyed corridor. Even though that was clearly a case of negligence, Lee was relieved that it was just that and not some collaborator working with the Cylons – or a Cylon hiding among his crew.
Chapter 10
Stunned, Lee stared at the paper in his hands. Finally he looked up and stared at Kara. “What?” He called out in utter confusion.
“What what?” Kara asked him back.
“What is this supposed to mean?” He waved the paper in front of her.
“Okay, what part didn’t you understand?” Kara looked at him annoyed. She had given her best writing this frakking report on the Cylon Raider. It wasn’t her fault that no one understood it.
“Every part.” Lee sighed. He already regretted having agreed to have a look at Kara’s report.
“You’ll have to be a bit more specific.” Kara replied impatiently.
Lee let out a frustrated breath and looked at the paper in his hand again. “Squeeze something that looks like a red ligament with blue veins on the right side coming out of a sack of gooey fluid, shaped like a dog?” He quoted her report with a raised eyebrow.
“What’s there not to understand?” She asked innocently.
“Slide into the lymphatic sack?” He quoted another part.
“Oh for fraks sake, it’s not my fault those raiders look like that. I don’t know how else to describe it. Just get this frakking report to Tyrol. I’m not rewriting this again.” She called out frustrated.
“Fine.” Lee sighed. “Maybe he can make something out of this. So, when are you going to start walking again?”
“Cottle says I’m supposed to try this afternoon. But I don’t know ... It still frakking hurts.” Kara looked skeptically at her knee. She had tried to argue with Cottle that she should wait longer with walking, but as always he hadn’t listened to her, he had just mumbled something like when she gets her medical degree he’d be more than willing to listen to her. She hated him.
“Okay, I’ll be back than. I got to go now. I have CAP in 20 minutes and I got to get this report to Tyrol first. See you later.”
Surprised Kara watched him leaving. She had never expected him to be there when she tried to walk again for the first time and yet the way he had said he would be there, it had sounded like it was the most natural thing for him to do. Suddenly the idea of getting out of this bed today wasn’t that terrible anymore.
When Lee returned from CAP, Alicia was waiting for him in the hangar bay.
“Hey, nice surprise. What brings you here?” He smiled at her. “Where’s Nia?”
“She’s with Mathilda.” Alicia replied uncomfortably. Seeing Lee’s raised eyebrow she continued. “When I told Dr. Cottle I couldn’t start working today because we had to wait for Mathilda to be tested, he said I shouldn’t be ridiculous and I either start today or never. So ...” Her voice trailed off.
“So you left her with Mathilda.” Lee had to hide his grin. He never thought for a second that Mathilda Musann could be a Cylon and he was certain that Nia was more than safe with her.
“Well, since you and your father are so convinced that she’s not a Cylon ... Have you heard anything from Dr. Baltar?”
“Uhm, no, not yet.” Lee had heard the rumors about Baltar being accused of being a Cylon spy, but he didn’t think it was a good idea to give Alicia that information. It would only upset her. He just hoped this whole thing would clear itself up before she ever heard about it. And he didn’t think that Baltar was a Cylon anyway. That man was too crazy to be a machine.
“Okay, I’m off to sickbay then. Could you check on Nia? This is her first day alone with Mathilda and ...”
“I was on my way to our quarters anyway. I want to take a quick shower before I go see Kara.”
“Kara?” Alicia asked uncomfortably. Lee was spending too much time with this woman for her taste. She just had an injured knee, not some life-threatening disease.
“Yeah, she starts walking today and I want to be there for her, you know, as a friend.” Lee explained quickly. He had noticed his wife’s uneasiness every time he mentioned Kara.
“Well, I hope everything goes well.” Alicia replied, smiling. She tried hard to accept Lee’s friendship with Kara, but it got harder and harder as they seemed to get closer each day.
“I’ll see you in sickbay then.” Lee said. He gave her a warm smile as he left. This was another thing Alicia had to get used to. Lee normally gave her a kiss every time they parted. But he didn’t like to show emotions in public, especially not when he was working, so he didn’t even give her a hug or hold her hand when other people were around. This put a distance between them that Alicia wasn’t used to. But apparently nothing stays the same when the world ends – not even the relationship with the man she loves.
“So, you’re ready to walk?” Lee asked grinning when he stepped into Kara’s room.
“No.” She said stubbornly.
“Let’s get started then.” Cottle had entered right behind Lee. “These are your crutches. Try to stand on your left leg at first. When you feel steady enough, start putting more weight on your injured knee.”
Hesitantly Kara began to climb out of her bed.
“Come on, Starbuck, you can do it.” Lee intentionally used her call sign. He hoped her pride of being the toughest viper pilot in the fleet would stop her from giving up too fast. But when she put weight on her injured knee the first time, he cringed at the pain evident on her face. “Ah, that smarts.” He said sympathetically. When Cottle glared at him disapprovingly, he quickly tried to cover his sympathy. “Yeah, that smarts. But I don’t care.”
“You don’t care?” She glared at him.
“I don’t care because you’re pain is my entertainment. Your crutches of death, Sir. Use them wisely.” Lee said grinning when he handed her the crutches.
“Shut up.” Kara hissed at him.
“It’s gonna hurt like hell, but it’s supposed to.” Cottle told her dryly, cigarette still hanging in his mouth.
“Thanks Doc.” This time it was Cottle who received Kara’s angry glare.
When Kara took her first steps with the crutches, Lee held his hand behind her back, ready to catch her should she fall. He didn’t dare to actually touch her, but his hand got close enough to make him feel better. Again Cottle shot him a warning glare and Lee chastised himself for showing too much sympathy. That never worked well with Kara. Making her angry was the only way he knew to keep her going. And he could see that she was already very angry.
“No pain, no gain.” Lee said mockingly, giving more fuel for her anger. “No cliché left unturned as Kara Thrace returns to the world of the walking, can she do it or will she fall on her ass?” Even though Lee tried to sound teasing, the look on his face betrayed his worries. He could only imagine how painful this must be for Kara. Luckily Kara couldn’t see his face.
“I swear to the Gods, I’m gonna beat the crap out of both of you as soon as I get better.” She hissed. Suddenly she stopped walking “No, I can’t.” She turned around and sat back down on her bed.
“Yes, you can, you did it.” Lee tried to encourage her.
“I can’t, I can’t ... I can’t.” Kara whispered stubbornly.
“You’re not going to get better lying on your back.” Cottle told her.
“Oh, frak off!” She snapped at him and frustrated threw the crutches at Lee.
“Just take a break for five minutes, we’ll try again.” Lee wasn’t willing to give up so fast. He wanted Kara to be back on her feet as soon as possible. Not just because of the still existing and ever increasing pilot shortage, but because he simply missed her. He missed running with her in the morning, he missed flying with her as his wingman and he missed her storming into his office declaring it was time for a break and dragging him to the mess or the gym. He still saw her several times every day when he visited her in sickbay, but it wasn’t the same.
“I don’t want to do it again, I want a pill now, please.” The way Kara glared at both of them made it clear that she wasn’t going to leave her bed again any time soon.
“Sorry, we’re weaning you off the magic pills, starting today. And besides, I need them for myself.” Cottle was only half-joking. Having Starbuck as a patient was more painful than any injury he could imagine.
“You son of a bitch.” Kara glared at him angrily.
“If you’re not going to walk again, I’m leaving. There are other patients who actually want to get better.” Cottle said and left the room.
“He’s right, Kara, and you know it. The sooner you start walking, the sooner you get back in the cockpit.” Lee tried again.
“You can play the worried CAG with someone else, Apollo. Now leave me the frak alone!” Without looking at him again, she turned away from him.
Sighing, Lee glanced at her one last time before he stepped out of her room.
Hours after his shift had officially ended, Lee came home to his family. Nia was already asleep, but Alicia was still awake.
“Long day again?” She said as she gave him a comforting hug.
“The usual. Paperwork never ends. So, how was your first day?” He asked smiling.
“Oh it was great. It feels so good to finally have something useful to do. The nurses are all very nice. But I think it will take a while before I get used to Dr. Cottle.” She said grinning.
“Even my father is afraid of him.” Lee said laughing. “But he’s the best doctor I know. I don’t think Kara’s knee would heal so good with the Doc we had on the Atlantia.”
“But she’s still not walking.” Inwardly Alicia wanted to scream. Again their conversation had turned to Kara Thrace.
“No, but I’m working on that.” He replied smiling. “And how did it go with Nia and Mathilda today?”
“Oh, they got along just great. Nia didn’t even want to let her go when I came home. Mathilda agreed to stay a bit longer and we talked a while. She really is an astounding woman. She has experienced so many awful things in her life and yet she is the most optimistic person I know. I really enjoy talking to her. She has so much to tell.” Alicia beamed with joy as she spoke.
“Maybe we should have dinner together some day? She sounds like an interesting woman.” Lee said smiling. He was glad that Alicia got along so well with their new babysitter.
”That would be great. We could invite your father too. Make it a real family dinner.”
“Sounds good. I’ll ask him. Let’s just wait a few days. He’s pretty busy right now.” When he saw Alicia yawning, he knew it was time to end this conversation. He was feeling pretty tired himself. “I think we should go to bed, get some sleep. It really was a long day.”
“Going to bed sounds good. But I wasn’t planning on going to sleep right away.” Alicia said with a seductive smile.
Lee answered her with an ever bigger smile as he pulled her into a tight embrace.
The next morning Lee went to CIC to give some reports to his father.
“Good morning, Commander. Here are the reports you’ve been waiting for. I’m sorry for the delay.”
“Good morning, Captain. It’s not a problem. I have so many reports waiting on my desk, it will probably take me at least a month before I can read yours.” Adama said sighing.
“I know what you mean.” Lee chuckled. “So, is there any news on Baltar?”
“You heard?”
“Dad, the whole ship is talking about it. Our only Cylon expert is being accused of being a Cylon himself or at least working with them. You can’t keep that a secret for long.”
“I guess not.” Again Adama sighed. For years he had tried to find a way to stop the rumor mill before it even started, but so far he hadn’t been very successful.
“Do you think he’s a Cylon?” Lee’s question interrupted Adama thoughts.
“No, but I think she is.” Adama replied dryly.
“She?”
“Shelley Godfrey, the woman who is accusing Baltar.”
“What makes you think that?” Lee looked at his father questioningly.
“She came to my quarters last night. She acted ... strange.” Adama flinched visibly at the memory. It didn’t go unnoticed by Lee.
“Strange? What did she do, hit on you?” Lee chuckled. But then he saw his father’s pained expression. “Come on, Dad, she hit on you and all of the sudden you think she’s a Cylon? I didn’t know you had such a low self-esteem when it comes to women.” He laughed.
“Funny.” Adama grumbled. “It wasn’t just that. Her whole behavior was ... It’s just all too convenient.”
“If you say so. I hope you’re right. I’d rather have her be the Cylon than Baltar.”
“Me too.” Adama replied earnestly.
When Lee reached the hangar deck a few hours later, he saw Colonel Tigh standing next to the Raider. Lee approached him hesitantly. What had seemed like a good plan only minutes ago sounded pretty stupid now that he was about to do it. He and Tigh weren’t on the best terms since Lee’s outburst against him when Kara had been missing. Asking him for a favor, especially if it regarded Kara, wasn’t the easiest thing to do. But there was no turning back now. If he wanted Kara back on her feet, he would need to take some drastic measures.
“Colonel?” He approached his XO. “Can I have a word?”
“Of course.” Tigh replied. But he didn’t move away from the Raider. Whatever Lee wanted to tell him, he would have to do it with people listening.
Lee would have preferred to have this conversation in private. He figured this was Tigh’s way of payback. Well, if it made him feel better, Lee was willing to play along. As long as it helped him with his plan. “It’s Starbuck. I think she needs some ... incentive to get back on her feet.” Lee knew he would be a dead man if Kara ever found out about this conversation.
“You think being in Cottle’s dungeon isn’t enough incentive for her?” Tigh asked grinning.
“She needs a job. That’s how Kara works.” Lee tried to ignore the smug grin on Tigh’s face and at the same time chastised himself for using Kara’s first name in front of his commanding officer. “She needs a problem to solve and ...” Lee got slightly distracted when something fell out of the Raider. It looked – and smelled – suspiciously like some sort of excrement.
“Well, there’s a problem.” Tigh said, looking stunned at the dropping.
“Cally!” The Chief’s voice was heard from inside the Raider.
Laughing, Tigh excused himself. He nodded shortly at Lee and then left without another word. Lee took his nod as a sign that he had agreed to talk to Kara. He just hoped Tigh wouldn’t mention his name in that conversation. He wanted to live at least long enough to celebrate Nia’s next birthday.
“Captain.” Chief Tyrol called for him. He had climbed out of the Raider and he sounded rather devastated. Also he was covered in slime. Looking at him, Lee was glad that it wasn’t him who had to get inside that Raider.
“Chief, what can I do for you?” He asked.
“Is there any chance that Starbuck could come to the hangar bay today? I can’t get this thing to work.” Frustrated he waved at the Cylon Raider. “And her notes, well ... To be honest, I don’t understand a single word. Ligament with blue veins? Gooey fluids? I don’t even know what that is.”
“I’m working on it, Chief. I can’t make any promises, but I hope she’ll be back on her feet today.” Lee tried to calm Tyrol. “Show me those notes again. Maybe I can make something out of it this time.”
With an evil grin Tigh entered sickbay. Making Starbuck angry always brightened his day.
“I heard you were supposed to be up on your feet by now.” He came directly to the point. No need to exchange niceties with this hot-shot pilot.
“You were wrong.” Kara replied quietly. She didn’t look up and just kept playing solitary triad. She hoped if she just ignored him long enough, he would leave. As if her day wasn’t bad enough already. Now she had to talk to Tigh of all people.
“Well, I figured you wouldn’t bounce back so fast.” He said sarcastically.
“Is there something you wanted or did you just drop by to torment me, Sir?” Kara replied annoyed.
“Nah, the Chief wanted me to kick your ass out of bed, so you could help figure out that Raider of yours but, clearly, you still need your rest. So take your time, no rush.“ He hadn’t even bothered to look at Kara as he spoke, he had just glanced over her medical chart.
“Do you actually think that reverse psychology crap is gonna work on me?” Even though she tried to sound sarcastic, inside she was boiling with anger.
“I really don’t care what you think, Lieutenant. All I know is that every day you spend in that bed is another day that I have my opinion of you confirmed. As you were.” Without waiting for a response, Tigh turned around and left, leaving Kara to stare angrily at the empty space he had left.
“Frakking son of a bitch.” Kara muttered under her breath. Did he really think he could trick her with his words? She would stay in bed an extra day longer just to prove that he hadn’t achieved anything. The day she would start caring what Saul Tigh thought of her, was the day the world ended ... the second time. But maybe this was what he wanted? He knew how low her opinion of him was. Maybe he had planned to keep her longer in bed with this charade. Well, she would show him ... She would be out of this bed faster than he could take a swig of ambrosia. But if she got up now, he would think that she did it because of his words. And that was the last thing she wanted. “Frak!” She called out frustrated. If she kept going like this, she would still be in this bed next month.
“I think he’s right ... partly at least. You really should rest. Overdoing it won’t do any good.”
Kara had been so deep in though, that she hadn’t even noticed Alicia coming closer. She had been making a bed a few feet away and had overheard Kara’s conversation with Tigh. Kara was so stunned that she didn’t know what to say.
“Even though everyone is looking forward to see you back on your feet and working again, you really should think of yourself. Granted, everyone has to work more as long as you’re still in here – my own husband has to work double shifts to cover the workload – but I can understand you have other worries right now.” Alicia had tried to sound nice, but the sarcasm was still audible in her voice. “Well, I have to get going.” Smiling, Alicia left the room, not even waiting for Kara to answer.
When Alicia heard the fire alarm later that day, she was afraid that there had been another explosion on the Battlestar. Terrified she waited for any burned or otherwise injured people to reach sickbay.
“Relax. There weren’t any vibrations. Whatever happened, the fire wasn’t caused by another explosion. There weren’t any vibrations ... Maybe it’s just a false alarm. Had there been any injuries, we’d have already been notified.” Layne Ishay, one of the nurses, told her.
“It just creeps me out. Every time the alarm starts, I fear the worst.” Alicia said hesitantly.
“I know what you mean. But eventually you’ll get used to it. As long as we’re not getting called, there’s no real emergency on the ship, at least none where people got hurt. And if the call for action stations doesn’t come, there are no Cylons shooting at us. Everything’s okay for now.” Layne smiled at her comforting.
Alicia stayed quiet for a moment. “Would it be alright if I check on my daughter? I know it’s stupid, but ...”
“No problem. You already work more than you have to. Go ... I cover for you.” Layne assured her.
“Thanks, I won’t be long.” Smiling gratefully at her colleague, Alicia quickly left sickbay and went to her quarters. She found her daughter sleeping, while Mathilda was reading a book.
“Hi. Uhm, I heard the alarm and just wanted to see if everything is all right here.” Alicia said apologetically.
“No problem. I know how hard it is to relax when you’re away from your child for the first time. But don’t worry. She slept right through the alarm. She didn’t wake up once.” Mathilda assured her.
“I should have known.” Alicia laughed. “Those first days when the Cylons kept coming, Nia slept most of the time. She got used to all these alarms and FTL-jumps fairly quickly.” Alicia sighed before she added in a small voice. “I wish it were this easy for me too.”
“This is all still new for you. Give yourself some time. You will get used to it too. It’s always more easy for children to get used to new situations, especially if they are still as young as Nia.”
“I hope you’re right.” Alicia said quietly. “Well, I have to get back to sickbay. If Cottle finds out I left, he’s probably going to fire me on my first day.”
“That’s hard to believe.” Mathilda said laughing.
“You don’t know him.” Alicia replied with a small laugh. Then she gave her daughter a goodbye kiss and left her quarters again.
On her way back to sickbay, Alicia was so deep in thought that she almost hadn’t noticed the marines escorting a handcuffed man. The only reason that she looked up at him was because he kept shouting loudly that he had been framed and that he was innocent. Curious from whom these shouts came she looked closer at the man. It was quite a shock for her when she saw the man was Dr. Gaius Baltar.
She was still in shock when she stepped back into sickbay.
“What happened?” Layne called out when she saw the pale appearance of Alicia. “Is something wrong with your daughter?”
“No, no she’s fine ... I just saw Dr. Baltar. He was handcuffed and was escorted by several marines. I don’t understand that ...” Alicia stammered.
“Oh that. From what I heard he’s supposed to be a Cylon. Or he’s working with them. There are a lot of rumors going on about that since this woman showed up yesterday. As far as I know she has some evidence against him. If you ask me, I think Baltar is crazy enough for something like that. This morning, John, my boyfriend, saw him in the head shouting loudly at nothing but empty space. Now, there is clearly something wrong with that man.” Layne said, eager to share her knowledge.
“I didn’t know that.” Alicia whispered.
“Didn’t your husband tell you? As the commander’s son he should know about those things, shouldn’t he?”
“Yeah, he should.” Alicia replied quietly. Suddenly she got angry. Again Lee had withheld information from her. Just yesterday he had told her he hadn’t heard anything from Baltar. Even if he hadn’t known about Baltar at the time, he would have found out at some point yesterday. He was the CAG – if a nurse in sickbay already knew about it, he definitely knew. But he hadn’t said a single word to her. Well, this time she wouldn’t be so willing to forgive him as fast as the last time when she found out about the humanoid Cylons.
Lee had been working with Tyrol and Cally for several hours on the Raider, but they hadn’t really achieved much in that time. They hadn’t even found out how to start it. And Starbuck’s notes hadn’t been really helpful. Even Lee had given up trying to make some sense out of it.
He was just checking the undercarriage of the Raider again, listening to Tyrol’s curses from the inside, when he saw two crutches appearing next to him. When he looked up, he saw Kara standing next to him.
“Hey.” He called out surprised.
“Shut up. All of you.” Kara snapped. “Not one single word from any of you, okay?” She glared at them threateningly before she turned her attention at the Raider. “What seems to be the problem?”
Tyrol, who had crawled out of the Raider immediately when he heard Kara’s voice, replied. “Well, your new boyfriend’s a bit of a jerk, Sir.”
“It’s a girl.” Kara countered.
Lee stayed quiet and simply watched smiling as Kara took Tyrol’s place under the Raider. Apparently his plan had worked. He had known that Tigh had to be good for something.
With some effort Kara managed to get inside the Raider while talking to Tyrol. He hoped she would be able to get the Raider started. She had managed it before and he was convinced she could do it again. And he was right. It only took her a few minutes before the Raider’s engine started revving and the ship lifted off a few feet.
“Chief ... Chief!” Kara yelled from inside the Raider. But she didn’t sound really scared, so there was no need to worry.
“Don’t shoot anything.” Tyrol replied dryly as they all stood around the Raider grinning. Again Starbuck had pulled of the impossible.
Alicia waited angrily for Lee to return to their quarters. His shift had ended hours ago, but as always he had to work longer. This time she didn’t feel sorry for him though as she would usually do. His coming home late only made her angrier. From Layne she had learned that every night after Lee finished his work for the day, he stopped by sickbay and spend some time with Kara. He never stayed very long, only a few minutes, but Layne had been thrilled about how dedicated Lee was as a CAG and how nice it was of him to see after his injured pilot so often.
Alicia’s opinion on that matter was a bit different than Layne’s. For her, those few minutes Lee spent with Kara Thrace was time he should spend with his family, but voluntarily chose not to.
Suddenly it occurred to her that Lee always complained about not seeing Nia often enough and how much he missed her during the day. He had even admitted that he missed having Kara around all day, annoying as she was most of the time, but not once had he told her that he missed her, Alicia, too.
When Lee finally did come home, Alicia was no longer just angry, she was furious.
“You bastard!” She yelled at him as soon as he stepped into the room.
Confused, Lee stopped in his tracks when he saw his furious wife. “What ...?”
“So you would rather spend time with her than with your own family? Why did you marry me in the first place? Because I got pregnant? If I had known you were in love with Kara, I would have never said yes!”
Lee was so surprised at her tirade that he was at a loss for words at first. When she finally stopped and looked at him expectantly, he quickly searched for the right words. “Ali, I did not just marry you because you were pregnant. How could you ever think that?”
“Because it’s what you do, Lee. You always do the right thing.” Alicia could feel the tears rolling down her face and quickly wiped them away.
“Ali, I married you because I love you. You – not Kara. I really wish I could spend more time with you and Nia, but there’s so much to do and ...”
“But you always have time for Kara – several times during the day!” Alicia interrupted him.
“She’s in sickbay, for fra ...” Lee bit his lip; he didn’t want to anger Alicia even more by cursing. “... gods sake. I told you we’re friends, that’s all. I never lied to you about that. And right now she’s a friend in sickbay who could use some company and help. I would do the same for every other friend if I still had any left!”
“And what about Baltar? You lied to me about him!” Alicia yelled.
“Baltar? What ...?”
“I know he has been arrested for working with the Cylons or being a Cylon ... He was already accused of that yesterday and don’t tell me you didn’t know! Layne told me the whole ship was talking about it!” She glared at him furiously.
Lee stayed quiet for a moment. There wasn’t much he could say against that. Even if he hadn’t really lied to her, he had withhold information from her – again. “Baltar got released a few hours ago. The evidence was fake, he was framed.” This excuse sounded lame, even for him.
“That’s not really important anymore, is it?” Alicia said quietly.
“Ali ...”
“Get out. I don’t want to be anywhere near you right now.” She choked out. “I’m sick of being lied to.” She turned around and looked at the wall, anywhere else but him.
Silently Lee stood still for a moment. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. He just wanted to protect her. But maybe that was the real problem. He had been trying to protect her for too long – and somewhere along the line that had become more important than treating her like she deserved ....as his wife. “I’ll come back tomorrow, okay? We’ll talk then.”
Alicia only nodded. Without saying anything else, Lee left their quarters and went to his office. It wasn’t the best place to stay the night, but it was better than nothing. He would try to get some sleep and tomorrow he would try to convince Alicia to give him another chance. He would prove to her how much he loved her.
Chapter 11
Two weeks had passed since the fight between Lee and Alicia. They had met again the next morning and had talked for a long time. In the end, Alicia had forgiven Lee for his lack of trust in her. He had promised her that he wouldn’t keep any more information from her that might affect her. And he had promised to spend more time with her and Nia. Which left him in a difficult situation. Of course he didn’t mind spending more time with his family. But the workload he had to get done every day wasn’t going to get less and he wasn’t willing to stop spending time with Kara. As he had pointed out to Alicia several times, Kara was the only friend he had left. And despite her annoying side, she had helped him stay strong and not lose hope those first days after the Cylons had attacked the colonies and during the weeks after. She kept him sane and if it wasn’t for her he would have probably drowned already in his new job and all the responsibilities that came along with it – a job that he wasn’t trained for in the first place and that was thrown at him because he was the only person with at least one of the qualifications necessary for it ... being a Captain. The fact that he was only promoted to Captain a few weeks before the attacks didn’t matter.
Kara had helped him getting used to this new life and if only for that, he wasn’t going to shut her out of his life. So he would have to find some other way to squeeze in more time for Alicia and Nia. He had started taking his meals in his office while continuing with his paperwork – which resulted in his food getting cold before he was able to finish it. He had never thought it to be possible for the food to taste worse, but eating it cold definitely made it much worse and even less palatable. He also stopped running in the morning – without Kara it wasn’t half as much fun anyway – and he didn’t join the other pilots in the rec room anymore.
Unfortunately that hadn’t brought him much more time either. He might come home an hour earlier than usual, but that wasn’t quite satisfying for Alicia – or for him. Nia was still already asleep when he came home and he himself was even more tired than before so he would fall asleep right after coming home. He hadn’t had a real conversation with his wife for over a week. And he knew he couldn’t go on like that forever. And apparently he wasn’t the only one who thought that.
“This has to stop.” Alicia told him one morning when he stepped out of the bathroom. He had gotten out of bed an hour earlier than usual, hoping that this way he might get home an hour earlier at night.
“Sorry, did I wake you?” Lee wasn’t quite sure if she was mad at him for waking her or for leaving so early. But she didn’t look very happy, so she had to be upset about something.
“Yes, you did. Why are you up already? You shift doesn’t start for another two hours.”
“I thought I’d start early today. This way I could ...”
“... come home earlier?” Alicia finished for him.
“Well, yes. That’s what you want, right? And besides, I’d like to spend some time with Nia while she’s still awake.” Lee replied, slightly confused. It was way too early to have a conversation like this with his wife. He wasn’t even really awake yet, despite the cold shower he took only minutes ago.
“Right, but it’s not working. You are even more tired than before. This isn’t what I wanted.”
“I didn’t want this either. Ali, I’m trying, I really am. I just ... there’s so much to do and ...”
“I know that. But ... stop it.” She said determinedly.
“What? Stop what ... I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” He looked helpless at Alicia.
“Stop eating your meals in your office. Go to the mess ... Take Nia with you, if you have the time. I’m sure Mathilda wouldn’t mind and if I don’t have to work, well, let me know when you get off for lunch. And start running again in the morning – you did that for the last ten years or longer. I’m not sure since when, but you started running long before we met and I don’t want you to stop doing it because of me. And if you have to see Kara to get through the day – fine. I know she’s your friend and I know I’m being stupid with this whole jealousy. I know I can trust you, so ... just do what you used to do.”
Speechless Lee looked at Alicia . This was so not what he had expected. For days he had been waiting for her to start yelling at him that he still hadn’t had more time for her. And now this. “You’re sure about it?” He asked hesitantly.
“Yes, absolutely sure. Now get your running gear and go.” Alicia tried to look earnest but at the utter relief flashing over Lee’s face, she couldn’t hide her smile.
“You know I love you, right?” Lee said as he pulled her into an embrace.
“Too bad I love you too.” Despite her words her smile got only broader before she kissed him. “Now go.”
“Aye, aye, Sir.” Lee laughed and quickly changed into his running gear. He hadn’t even realized how much he missed his morning jog, but after a few minutes he could feel most of the tension that had built up inside of him the past few weeks leave his body.
He was almost done with his jog, when he was called to CIC. Swearing he quickened his step and, when he reached his quarters, quickly changed into his uniform.
“What’s the rush?” Alicia asked.
“I was called to CIC. As my shift doesn’t start for over an hour, I figure something happened.” He replied quickly.
Smiling Alicia watched him putting on his uniform. “Thank you.”
“What for?” Lee looked at her surprised.
“For being so honest and telling me that something might be wrong.”
“Oh, uh ... no problem.” Lee stuttered. He hadn’t even thought about that when he had given his answer. Apparently he was learning to trust her ability to stay strong faster than he thought. “I gotta go. Bye.” He gave her a kiss before he quickly left for CIC.
“Commander, Colonel.” Lee saluted his commanding officers before he came right to the point. “What happened?”
“Captain.” Adama nodded towards his son. “Half an hour ago a Cylon was captured on the Geminon Traveler. He claims he has planted a nuclear bomb.”
“On the Galactica?” Lee groaned inwardly. He still remembered the search for the missing detonator after the explosion of the water tanks. It had taken forever.
“No, somewhere in the fleet. The Cylon hadn’t been very cooperative when it came to the whereabouts of the bomb. He’ll only tell if he’s allowed to talk to the President. And that won’t happen.” Adama said determinedly.
“So we have to search the whole fleet.” It was more a statement than a question. This was going to be a very long day. “How much time do we have?”
“15 hours, 23 minutes. I want you to lead Team 1. You will search the Geminon Traveler, the Rising Star and the Prometheus. Hopefully we’ll find the bomb before it’s too late.”
“Raptor 7 is waiting for you in the hangar bay.” Tigh told him.
“Yes, sir.” Lee saluted them both again and went back to his quarters to get his flight suit.
When Lee stepped into his quarters, he hoped that Alicia had already gone to sickbay. He didn’t feel comfortable telling her about the bomb. Even though it wasn’t very likely, the bomb could be on Galactica. He knew she would be scared about that and he still had the urge to protect her from all worries. But he couldn’t keep this information from her – not after their last fight. Apparently he wasn’t used to trust her strength that much after all.
“Hey, you’re back quick.” Alicia said surprised when she saw him.
“Uhm, yeah, I gotta get my flight suit.”
“You have CAP?”
No, I ... I’m leaving Galactica. We’re searching the ships and it’s protocol for a pilot to be in a flight suit when I’m in a raptor or viper. Not that it’s dangerous, it’s just ...”
“Protocol.” Alicia finished for him.
“Right.” Lee smiled at her. “So, when does your shift in sickbay start?”
Alicia knew he was keeping something from her. And if he didn’t tell her after their last fight, it had to be really bad. “I still have two hours. Should I go there earlier in case something happens?”
Sighing Lee looked at her. He should have known she would sense that something was wrong. “There’s a bomb on one of the ships. We don’t know which, so we have to search all of them. We have the Cylon who planted it in custody, hopefully we’ll get more information out of him.” He could see the fear in Alicia’s eyes and quickly pulled her close to him. “I don’t want you to worry, okay? It’s very likely that we’ll find the bomb before it goes off. There is still plenty of time. We don’t even know for sure if there even is a bomb. Cylons aren’t really that trustworthy.” He said smiling in an attempt to lighten the mood a bit.
“You don’t have to cheer me up. I can handle this.” Alicia said in a strong voice. She didn’t feel that strong really. In truth she wanted to grab her daughter and hide under the bed until this situation was solved. But she had told Lee she could handle the truth and she would prove to him that that hadn’t been a lie. So she would leave Nia in Mathilda’s care and go to work, just like on any other day. “Do you know when the bomb is supposed to explode?”
“In approximately 15 hours.” Lee said hesitantly.
“Okay, good to know.” Alicia forced herself to smile. She thanked the gods that her shift would be long over by then and she would be with Nia right here in their quarters.
“I have to go now.” Lee hesitated a second. “You sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine. Just go and find that bomb in time.”
“I will.” Lee promised and gave her another kiss.
The first ship Lee was supposed to search was the Geminon Traveler. As the Cylon was captured on that ship, it was likely that he had planted the bomb there. Lee was surprised when he saw Kara stepping onto the Raptor right before the start. “I didn’t know you were on my team.”
“I’m not. I’m supposed to interrogate the Cylon. Did you know it’s a copy of Leoben Conoy, the Cylon your father encountered on Ragnar?”
“No, I didn’t. Are you sure you’re up to it? I mean, your knee isn’t really healed yet and should he attack you ...”
“Should it try to attack me, it would be stupid. It will be shackled and handcuffed and there will be marines in the room. I’m not taking any risks there. I just want to help find the bomb.” Kara replied determinedly. She was sick of people treating her different because of her injury. She couldn’t wait for the day when she was allowed to fly vipers again.
“Did you volunteer for this?” Lee asked surprised.
“No, your father asked me. But I’m grateful he did. I really need some time off Galactica.”
“And interrogating a Cylon is the best chance for that.” Lee replied smiling.
“Exactly. I can let some steam off too if he gets cylonish on me.”
“Cylonish?” Lee chuckled. “That’s not even a word.”
“Well, it should be. How else are we supposed to call their behavior?”
“How about cruel, mean, inhuman, brutal ...” He would have come up with more words for the Cylons, but their raptor had already docked on the Geminon Traveler and they left the raptor. “Be careful okay?”
“As always.” Kara said, giving him her trademark grin. “And the same goes to you. If you find the bomb, try not to play the hero for a change and let the marines do the job.”
Lee’s only respond was his raised eyebrow before he gave her one of those smiles that made her fall in love with him. He nodded at her shortly and left with the marines to search the ship.
Kara only walked a few feet before she froze in her tracks. Made her fall in love with him? She did not just really think that, did she? She wasn’t in love with Lee, he was like a brother to her. Okay, maybe not a brother, more like a friend. Her best friend. Her best married friend. She couldn’t be in love with him. Although that would explain her strange dreams and feelings lately. There wasn’t a night in which she didn’t dream of Lee. It weren’t always romantic dreams, but sometimes ... And it would explain her jealousy of Alicia. Gods ....
“Lieutenant, is everything all right?” The crew member who was supposed to take her to the ship’s Captain asked worried at her pale appearance.
“What? Oh, yes, everything’s all right.” She assured him quickly. Yeah, everything was all right, except that she was in love with Lee Adama. When did that happen?
It took them over four hours to search the whole ship. There was no trace of the bomb. Disappointed, Lee and his team went on to the Rising Star. After another five hours they didn’t find any bomb there either. Lee’s next and last station on this ship was sickbay. It wasn’t really a sickbay, not like they had on the Galactica, just a room where the sick and injured people were brought, so that it would be easier to take care of them. Most of them didn’t even have real beds. They lay on blankets on the cold floor. They looked terrified at the marines searching the room and Lee felt miserable for making their situation even worse, even if it was only for a short while. Suddenly his eyes fell on a woman lying nearby who looked slightly familiar. She was about his mother’s age and had blond hair. Where had he seen her before? Suddenly it hit him – on one of the seldom birthdays his father had celebrated at home he had invited Saul Tigh and his wife, Ellen. And this woman looked exactly like her, a few years older, but the resemblance was remarkable. Could it really be her?
“Ahem, excuse me.” He asked one of the women who took care of the patients. “Do you know this woman’s name?”
“No, I’m sorry. She’s been unconscious since she came here. Head injury. And she didn’t have any papers with her.”
“Thank you.” Lee smiled at her gratefully.
“Captain, the room is clear and the other teams report they haven’t found anything either. Should we proceed to the Prometheus?” John Hanson, one of the marines, had approached him.
“Yes, let’s go.” Lee looked one last time at the woman. He almost hoped it wasn’t her. His last encounter with Ellen Tigh hadn’t been very comfortable. He would tell his father about it. Let him look into it. The less he had to see from Ellen Tigh, the better.
The result on the Prometheus was the same as on the other two ships – they didn’t find the bomb. It was already late and they had less than an hour to find it. Lee just hoped the other teams had been more successful. But he figured if they had he would have heard. Well, if they didn’t find the bomb soon, they wouldn’t have to worry about the search anymore – they would know on which ship it had been.
Lee was on his way back to the raptor to call Galactica about the search when he was approached by a woman.
“You’re a pilot, right?” The woman said to him in a soothing voice.
“Uhm, yes, I am. Can I help you in any way?” Lee asked confused.
“Well, I was actually wondering if maybe I could help you? It must be very lonely on such a big ship as the Galactica with all your fraternization rules.” She smiled at him.
If Lee had any doubts before, they were now gone. He knew exactly what the woman wanted and what kind of business she was part of.
“I’m happily married and have a daughter. I don’t need any more company.” He replied as polite as he could.
“Oh, I have a daughter too. If you’d take me with you to Galactica, they could be playmates.” Her smile got even broader. “ And should you ever feel the need, we could be playmates too.”
“I don’t think so, but thanks.” Lee chuckled. The idea of Nia having another child to play with was tempting, but he didn’t think that Alicia would be too pleased if he came back to Galactica with a prostitute.
“Well, if you ever change your mind, just ask for Shevon. Don’t forget.” She traced her finger along his chest and gave him a last seductive smile. Then she left and went to the next lonely looking man.
Lee shook his head on his way back to the raptor. One would think that after the end of the world people would start to think over their life and try to do something useful. But some things just never change. As long as there were enough customers, there would be women desperate enough to sell themselves to them. Lee felt sorry for Shevon’s child. He hoped the kid didn’t know too much about what his or her mother did to provide their living.
When Lee was back on Galactica, he went straight to CIC. It was only a few minutes before the bomb was supposed to explode. Anxiously they all waited for something to happen – either to feel the vibration of an explosion on the Galactica or get a call for help from one of the civilian ships.
But nothing happened. Several minutes after the time had ran out, Lee allowed himself to relax. The Cylon had lied. There was no bomb. They had just wasted a whole day searching for nothing.
“Contact the Geminon Traveler.” Adama ordered Petty Officer Dualla. “Tell them to let Lieutenant Thrace know that the Cylon lied about the bomb. She is to end the interrogation and airlock the Cylon. We wasted enough time and effort on that thing.” When he was finished, Adama turned towards his son. “You look tired. It was a long day. Go home to your family. The reports can wait until tomorrow.”
Lee wanted to object first. There was a huge pile of paperwork waiting for him on his office desk. But the idea of being with Alicia and Nia now was too tempting. He would simply skip his morning run again tomorrow and start working on his reports first thing in the morning.
“Thanks. If I may say so, Sir, you look pretty tired too. Maybe you should also call it a day.”
Surprised, Adama looked at his son. He wasn’t used to such familiarity and worry from Lee towards him. But he liked it. It felt good to have someone worry of him for a change. “I will.” He replied smiling. “As soon as I know the Cylon is dead.”
“Well, knowing Kara, that shouldn’t take too long. Good night.”
“Good night, son.”
Smiling Adama watched his son leave CIC. He more and more enjoyed those little family moments with Lee. There hadn’t been many of them, despite the fact that Lee had been on his ship for over a month now. But he was sure there were more to come and he was looking forward to them. After Zak’s funeral he had thought he had lost his family. And he had thought he was okay with that and Galactica had become his new family. Now he knew he was wrong. Having Lee back in his life – and with him his wife and daughter – meant more to him than he would have ever imagined.
Even though Lee had planned to get back to his quarters right away, he was held up by several pilots who had tons of questions and complaints. Sighing, Lee listened to each one of them – he had only been gone a day, how many problems could have come up in that time? Over an hour later he had satisfied the last pilot and was just about to leave the hangar bay, when he saw Kara stepping out of a raptor. He decided he could spare a few more minutes and went over to her.
“Hey, how did it go with the interrogation? Did you kick his ass?” He asked grinning.
Kara hesitated a moment before she replied. “Mindfrakking. You should add that to your list.”
“List?”
“With words for the Cylon’s behavior. They are definitely mindfrakking.”
“Are you okay?” Lee glanced worried at her. He had seldom seen her look so ... vulnerable.
“I’m not so sure.” Kara replied. A single tear rolled down her face.
When Lee saw that, he didn’t hesitate long and pulled her into the next storage room.
“What are you doing?” Kara looked at him surprised. Lee pulling her into the nearest storage room had been one of her more frequent recurring dreams. He would pull her into a tight embrace and give her a long and intense kiss before ...
“Let’s talk.” Lee said determinedly, pulling Kara out of her thoughts.
“Right.” She quickly shook her head to get the dream out of her mind. “What about?” She asked confused. This whole storage room situation made her mind slightly fuzzy and she had almost forgotten about how awful her day had been.
“About whatever is bothering you.” Lee chuckled.
“Oh uhm ...” This would be the perfect opportunity to tell him how much she thought she was in love with him – she still couldn’t really believe that she loved him. But he was still happily married and had a beautiful, wonderful daughter who loved her father more than anything in her world and still needed both her parents, so she stayed quiet. And instead she told him about Leoben. He was the other thing making her feel so miserable.
Lee listened silently to Kara as she spoke. He had a hard time understanding her sympathy for that Cylon, but Kara always had a soft spot, even though she was always good at hiding it. That toaster had obviously known how to push the right buttons to get behind her walls. He wondered where it got its information from? He’d always thought there was at least one more Cylon spy on the Galactica and this was just another proof for that.
“You know, he said I have a destiny.”
“I always knew you were something special.” Lee smiled at her.
“He knew so many things about me. He even knew about my mother ...”
“Don’t let this toaster frak with your mind, Kara. They have spies everywhere. They have access to every file on Caprica. There are a hundred ways he could have found out.”
“He?” Kara said mockingly.
“It.”
Kara suddenly didn’t want to talk about the Cylon anymore and searched her mind for something else to talk about. “I saw you running this morning. I thought you stopped.”
Lee was surprised at the sudden change of subject, but he could see that Kara was exhausted, so he decided not to push her for any more information. “I figured it was time to start again. And I have to say, it’s much more fun without you talking to me all the time.”
“Well, don’t get used to it. I’ll be back by your side sooner than you think.” Kara grinned at him.
“Don’t rush it.” He said teasingly. He was relieved to see that Kara seemed to be feeling better.
They sat together and talked more for a few hours. They didn’t even notice how much time had passed and when Lee finally checked the chronometer on the wall, he immediately jumped up. “Frak, it’s almost morning. Ali is going to kill me.”
“Just tell her you needed to help one of your pilots. Knowing you, she wouldn’t be angry for that. Oh, and don’t forget to tell her that you did a good job at helping that pilot.” Kara smiled gratefully at him.
“I did?”
“Yep, definitely.” She said, still smiling warmly at him.
Lee returned her smile. “Good night, Kara.”
“Good night, Lee.”
When Lee had left the room, Kara could feel the tears well up in her eyes again. But this time it wasn’t because she felt sorry about Leoben’s death. She cried because Lee was going back to his family now. And she was alone again. She hated self-pity, but right now she couldn’t do anything about it. She had finally realized what she felt for Lee, but now it was too late. For the first time she wondered if the choice they had made years ago, that it was best to stay just friends and nothing more, had been the right choice. She wondered what her life would be like, if after that one night she had spent with Lee so many years ago she had had the courage to tell him that she was already falling in love with him then.
Chapter 12
Two hours after Lee fell asleep, he had to get up again. Groaning, he turned of the alarm and turned to the other side.
“You have to get up, Lee, you’ll be late.” Alicia mumbled after a while. She was almost as tired as Lee as she had been waiting all night for him to come home. She had only fallen asleep shortly before he finally came.
“I’m almost up.” Lee replied yawning. It took him another few minutes before he finally crawled out of bed. He took an extra cold shower to get more awake, but it only worked to a certain degree. He was still feeling tired when he stepped out of the bathroom, but at least he could keep his eyes open.
“Did you find the bomb?” Alicia asked while she watched her husband getting dressed.
“There was no bomb. The Cylon lied.” Lee replied quietly.
“So it was all for nothing? Frakking Cylons.”
“Hey, watch your language.” Lee chuckled, pointing at their still sleeping daughter. “It wasn’t just the Cylons that kept me. When I got back to Galactica, there was a long line of pilots waiting for me with hundreds of complaints. I can't leave those nuggets alone for one day.”
“Burden of command.” Alicia replied teasingly.
“It’s never easy.” Lee said grinning. “I have to go. Have a nice day.” He kissed her good bye and went to leave the room. Before he closed the hatch behind him, he saw his wife turning back to sleep. He immediately envied her for that. He would have given anything for a few more hours of sleep.
On the way to his office he thought about why he hadn’t told Alicia that he had stayed up most of the night to talk to Kara. He had just been trying to help a friend, surely his wife would understand that. And she had admitted that her jealousy was ridiculous. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t still jealous. He told himself that it had probably been best not to tell her.
Lee had gotten Kara to take his morning briefing, so he could catch up with the paperwork from the last day. It took him most of the day to finish his reports, but eventually he was done. He had had even time to take a meal with Nia and Alicia in the mess. It had been a nice break from writing reports and schedules all day.
Yawning, he collected his reports and left his office to bring them to his father. He should be in his office by now, so Lee could take that chance to tell him about Ellen Tigh – if it really was her. When he knocked on the hatch to the commander’s quarters, his father called him in.
“Good evening, Commander. Here are the reports you have been waiting for.” Lee said as he handed the papers to his father.
“Thanks.” Adama looked unhappy at the reports in his hands. Would the paperwork ever end? “Didn’t your shift end hours ago?” He looked questioningly at his son. He had noticed the dark rings under Lee’s eyes. He looked tired.
“You had me searching for that bomb all day yesterday, so I had a lot to catch up.” He paused a moment before he continued. “Speaking of that, uhm, I saw this woman on the Rising Star ...”
“A woman? Remember you’re married, Lee.” Adama joked.
“Not that kind of woman, Dad. At least not really. I think it was Ellen Tigh.”
“Ellen? Are you sure?” Adama exclaimed surprised.
“Almost. She looked a lot like her. Apparently she has been unconscious since the attacks due to a head injury. She had no papers with her, so no one knows her name.” Lee explained.
Adama thought about his son’s words for a while. Finally he made a decision. “Have you talked to Tigh yet?”
“No, I wanted to hear your opinion first.” Lee replied. The truth was that he didn’t fell comfortable around Tigh. The man wasn’t a bad XO, but the less time he had to spend with him, the better.
“Don’t tell him. I’ll look into it. If it’s really her, a few more days of him not knowing about her won’t do much harm.”
“Okay .. If there is nothing else, I go to my quarters. I’m looking forward to a good night sleep.”
“Didn’t you get enough sleep last night? I thought you went to your quarters right after you left CIC? I hope everything is all right with Alicia and Nia?” Adama asked worried.
“Yes, they’re all right. I was planning on going right home, but ... something came up. You know how it is.”
“Yes, I know that.” Adama looked at his son thoughtfully. He had the feeling that there was more to that story than Lee had said, but he wasn’t going to push for it. Knowing Lee, that would be useless anyway.
“Good night, Dad.”
“Good night, son. Give my granddaughter a kiss from me.”
“I will.” Lee said before he stepped out of the room.
Two weeks later Lee had almost forgotten about Ellen Tigh as his father hadn’t brought the subject up again. He had just returned from CAP where he had encountered a very erratically behaving raider. Every time Lee had come close to shooting it, the raider had jumped away, only to reappear at another spot near the fleet. It kept jumping several times without trying to attack any ships. As Lee had managed to damage the ship, it was assumed that that was the reason why the raider couldn’t jump back to its base and therefore it was decided to put a raptor and two vipers out to watch it. They were hoping to collect some data about the raider that might help them with the raider currently standing in their hangar bay.
When Lee climbed out of his viper, he handed his helmet to Cally.
“Sir, Commander Adama has asked to see you.” She told him.
“Thanks, Cally.”
He found his father standing next to Kara and Chief Tyrol. They were all watching a monitor, reading the data about the Cylon raider they had collected so far.
“You wanted to see me, Sir?”
“Stay on it.” Adama said to Kara and Tyrol, then he turned to Lee. “It’s about our dinner plans tonight ...”
Alicia had finally managed to invite everyone for the family dinner she had been planning for weeks. Lee hoped his father wasn’t going to cancel it. Alicia was already so excited about it. She had also invited Mathilda, because she wanted him and his father to get to know her better.
“Don’t tell me you can’t make it.” Lee said.
“No, no, I’m not canceling. It’s just, uhm, I invited some more people.” Adama looked uncomfortably at his son.
“Who?”
“Well, there is President Roslin and ...” Adama cleared his throat. “... the Tighs.”
“The Tighs?” Lee looked at him stunned.
“Remember when you told me about that woman on the Rising Star? Well, you were right ... It is Ellen Tigh. I brought her to the Galactica today. She’s with Saul right now.”
“Uh, great.” Lee said half-heartedly. Even though he was happy for Tigh that he was reunited with his wife, having Ellen Tigh back in his life wasn’t really good news – the last and only family dinner he had with her still brought back very unpleasant memories.
“I thought that it might be best if you didn’t bring Nia.” Adama said, looking even more uncomfortable.
“What? Dad, it’s a family dinner.”
“I know, it’s just ... Do you really want her to meet Ellen Tigh?”
Sighing Lee had to agree with his father. Having Ellen Tigh getting her claws on his daughter was the last thing he wanted. “Alright, but you’re telling Alicia.”
“What?” Now it was Adama’s turn to look surprised.
“We’re finally not arguing about anything right now. I’m not jeopardizing that. You invited the Tighs, so you’re telling my wife!” Lee said determinedly.
Hesitantly Adama stood in front of sickbay. He wished he had insisted on Lee breaking the news to Alicia. He was his commander after all. But as this was a family matter, he could hardly pull rank on Lee.
He hadn’t known Alicia for very long, but if she was in any way like all the other women he knew, she would be angry with him. Very angry. He hadn’t seen her angry yet, but he had heard the rumors that Lee had to spend the night in his office once. Now, Alicia couldn’t throw him out of his quarters, but she surely would come up with something to make him pay for this.
“Can I help you, Commander?” A nurse had seen him standing in the corridor and had wondered why he didn’t come in.
“Uh, yes.” Adama cleared his throat. “I’m looking for my daughter-in-law, Alicia Adama.”
“She’s in the room over there, sorting the medications. If I may say so, Sir, you have an amazing daughter-in-law. She never stops working when she’s here, not for a second, and she’s always looking for more work. I’m really glad she decided to work here. She’s a tremendous help.” The nurse told him excitedly.
“I’m glad to hear that.” Adama replied. He hadn’t really listened to her as he was already searching for the right words to tell Alicia about their new guests for tonight.
Slowly he walked over to the room the nurse had pointed to and opened the hatch.
“Hello Alicia.” Again he cleared his throat and forced himself to smile at her.
“William, hello, what brings you here? Did something happen?” She asked worried. She immediately feared that something had happened to Lee. She knew he had CAP this morning and she heard rumors about a Cylon Raider, but as they hadn’t heard the alarms she didn’t worry much. But seeing her father-in-law now brought those worries up again.
“No, no, nothing happened.” Adama assured her. He still wasn’t accustomed to being called William. He had tried to get her call him Bill – as most of his friends did – or Dad even, but she hadn’t felt comfortable calling him either of these names and since as his daughter-in-law she couldn’t keep calling him Commander, they had eventually agreed on William. Clearing his throat once again, Adama continued. “It’s about tonight, um ...” He quickly told her about the new dinner guests and explained to her why he didn’t want Nia to come. He could see that she got more upset with every word he said.
“But it was supposed to be a family dinner! Besides, I already invited Mathilda. I wanted you and Lee to get to know her better. If Nia isn’t coming, who’s supposed to watch her?” Alicia angrily glared at him after he had finished.
Uncomfortably Adama stared at his hands. “Maybe you could explain the situation to her? I’m sure she’d understand and we can invite her the next time, then ...”
“Explain the situation?” Alicia interrupted him angrily. “You want me to tell her that we invited the Tighs, people I hardly know, to a family dinner, therefor Nia, our daughter, can’t come and that’s why she can’t come either?”
“Well, if you put it that way ... Maybe you could find another sitter?”
“Another sitter?” Alicia glared at him angrily.
“I heard Petty Officer Dualla watched Nia a few times. I’m sure she would ...”
“Petty Officer Dualla has a date tonight with the President’s advisor.” Alicia snapped at him. She and Dualla had become friends as Dualla had come by her quarters from time to time so see after Nia. They often took lunch together at the mess and just an hour ago Dualla had told her excitedly about her date with Billy. The President apparently had some business to attend to on Galactica and he had the night off. Well, now she knew what that business was – a family dinner with the Adamas.
“Oh, well, what about Kara? I’m sure she ...” He stopped talking when he saw the fury well up in Alicia’s eyes at the mention of Kara’s name. “I ... I just thought ... Lee said Nia liked her and ...” William Adama was seldom at a loss of words, but seeing this angry woman in front of him left him speechless.
“Lee talked to you about that?” She hissed.
“Uhm, yes ...” Adama knew that somehow he had just gotten his son into trouble. He had no idea how, but on the bright side, if Alicia was angry at Lee, she might forget about her anger at him.
“Fine, I’ll ask Kara. If you excuse me now. I have to get this finished.” Without looking at her father-in-law anymore, Alicia turned back to the meds cabinet.
Alicia had seen Kara’s name on Cottle’s patient list for today. She had an appointment with him to check on her knee. As soon as Alicia saw Kara stepping into sickbay, she went straight to her.
“Kara, hi. ... How’s the knee?” She asked, trying to sound nice. She would make her father-in-law pay for this. She wasn’t exactly sure how yet, but she would think of something.
“Hi. Uh, it’s better, thanks.” Kara looked surprised at the woman in front of her. She had hardly spoken a word with Alicia since she got onboard. She wondered why she would approach her all of a sudden. She suddenly got scared that maybe somehow Alicia knew what she felt for Lee. She hadn’t talked about it with anyone, not even Sharon, who was the closest she got to a best friend. And she had tried to stay away from Lee as often as possible. It wasn’t easy, but she was convinced it was better that way. The less she saw of him, the faster those feelings she had for him would disappear.
“I need to ask you a ... favor.” She quickly explained the situation to Kara. She practically had to force the last words out. “If you have the time, I ... we thought that you might want to watch Nia for tonight.”
Kara looked at Alicia, astounded. That was the last thing she expected. And it definitely didn’t fit with her plan to avoid Lee. But she really adored Nia and she hadn’t seen the little girl in a while, not since her stay in sickbay. And helping Lee out – and Alicia – how could she say no to that? She still owed him for staying up all night and talking to her after her interrogation of Leoben. She knew he had already been exhausted then and because of their talk hardly got any sleep. He had looked hardly awake when she had run into him the next morning and he had asked her to cover his pilot briefing so he could catch up with his paperwork. And she would only see him for a few minutes. Hello, everything’s all right, good night. In and out. The time she had to spend with him during briefing took longer. It really shouldn’t be a problem.
“Sure, I’ll watch her. I’m glad to spend some time with her again.” She smiled at Alicia.
Even though Alicia was angry at Lee for telling his father that Nia practically adored Kara Thrace, she hadn’t forgotten her anger towards her father-in-law.
Sighing, Adama looked at the plate in front of him. Somehow Alicia had managed to get the cook to make the one meal Adama hated the most. It wasn’t that it was bad food, in fact most people liked it, it was just that Adama simply had a huge dislike of it his whole life. He remembered that his wife had always cooked it every time she had been mad at him – Lee must have told Alicia about it. He practically had to force down every bite of it. When he glanced over to Alicia, she gave him her sweetest smile, but her eyes blinked mischievously. Lee only shrugged at him apologetically.
The evening progressed slowly and the dinner turned out to be even worse than expected. Neither Ellen nor Saul was sober when they arrived and they were out right drunk by now. Ellen was just telling them all about the public opinion she managed to experience in the short time she had been awake since her coma.
“Sure, there’s a lot of whining and complaining, like you would expect. But the people I talked to are mostly hopeful and optimistic.” She told them smiling.
“That’s good to hear.” Roslin forced herself to return the smile. She had never met a more awful person than Ellen Tigh in her life and even though she didn’t like Saul Tigh, not even he deserved a wife like her.
“Mmm, well ...” Ellen’s face suddenly grew more serious – at least as serious as a drunk woman could get. “There are a few people who still might wonder if a kindergarten teacher is really the right person to be President, but it’s just a tiny, tiny minority.”
“Wonderful, wonderful.” Roslin gave Ellen her most polite smile she only reserved for people she truly disliked. Lee smiled at her sympathetically.
Alicia nearly choked on her food at hearing Ellen’s words and Mathilda patted her back sympathetically. She was relieved that Lee and Alicia had decided to leave Nia in their quarters. She only knew the little girl for a short time, but she already loved her dearly. She hoped that Nia would never come near that horrible woman. Mathilda just wished they had asked her to watch Nia tonight. Even though she had been grateful for the invitation, this was probably the worst dinner she had ever attended to, despite the good food.
Of course Ellen was totally unaware of all that. “Everyone is so truly, truly grateful to all of you on Galactica. You, you literally are our saviors.” She exclaimed dramatically, patting Adama slightly on the arm.
“Oh, we’re just doing our jobs, that’s all.” Tigh said.
“You are so modest.” Ellen slapped her husband’s arm in a playful manner. “He’s always been that way. Oh ...” Her attention suddenly shifted. “Lee, could I trouble you for a little bit more of this lovely ambrosia?”
“Sure.” As Roslin had, Lee forced himself to smile, always the polite officer.
“Thank you, dear.” Ellen smiled at him sweetly.
Again Alicia nearly choked. It had been a long time since anyone had called her husband “dear”, in fact she couldn’t remember anyone ever calling him that.
“Bill, you must be so proud of your sons.” Ellen continued. “Lee has grown into such a handsome man. I can only imagine what Zak must look like now.” She intently looked at Lee as she spoke, never leaving her eyes of him. “You are the spitting image of your mother and I bet Zak takes just after his daddy.”
Both Lee and Adama froze at that remark. Alicia took Lee’s hand and squeezed it slightly. He gave her a grateful smile and returned the squeeze more tightly. Thinking of Zak still hurt too much.
“Zak passed away a couple of years ago.” Adama said quietly.
“I’m sorry. Tragic, the death of a child. There’s been so much death, so much pain ... sometimes it’s completely overwhelming. But I’m sure he was a beautiful boy.” Ellen tried to give her condolences, but it didn’t sound very convincing.
Lee suddenly squeezed Alicia’s hand more tightly.
“Ow!” She called out quietly, looking surprised at her husband.
“Sorry.” He mumbled, staring uncomfortably at his plate.
Adama didn’t want Ellen to continue to talk about Zak, so he quickly changed the subject. He had wanted to bring this up anyway sometime tonight. Now was as good a time as ever. “The Captain of the Rising Star was a little puzzled as to how you got on board his ship.” He said, looking intently at Ellen.”
“Oh, I know, I know some thoughtful soul just rescued me from an almost certain death and put me on the last flight out of Picon.” Ellen replied, giggling between her words. .
“How lucky for us all.” Roslin said. She hadn’t been able to hide the sarcasm that was practically dripping form her voice.
In his drunken state Tigh was totally unaware of it though. “It is indeed.” He exclaimed.
“The strange thing is, no one can recall given you any medical assistance until about two weeks ago.” Adama continued.
“Oh, I know, I know. It’s a miracle I’m alive!” Ellen replied overwhelmed.
Alicia had noticed that her husband had tensed up a few minutes ago. At first she thought it was because of the talk of Zak, but they had changed the topic and he still hadn’t relaxed. She wondered what was bothering him, when he suddenly jumped up and backed away from the table. Surprised everyone looked at him – everyone except Ellen Tigh who gave him her sweetest smile.
“Ahem, I think I better ... clear some of these ... uh ... dishes.” Lee said blushing.
“You are so sweet.” Ellen smiled at him even more sweetly.
“Let me help you.” Alicia offered and also began collecting the dishes.
“Very good. My compliment to the chef.” Tigh said as he handed her his plate.
“What’s wrong?” Alicia whispered to Lee.
“Later.” He muttered.
Being done with Lee for the moment, Ellen turned her attention back to Adama.
“So Bill, now, the question on everyone’s mind, and I do mean everyone ... is ... where is Earth and when do we get there?”
If possible, Adama’s glare at Ellen even intensified. “That’s classified information.” He said.”
“Oh, that word again!” Ellen complained loudly.
“Ellen, leave the man alone.” Tigh tried to calm his wife.
“Well, come on, if there are no privileges of being an XO’s wife, then what’s the point? I mean, Bill, we’re family here. Come on ...”
At hearing those words, Alicia suddenly thought of her endless discussions with Lee. She had practically used the same argument as Ellen when she had complained to Lee that as his wife she deserved to know information regarding Cylons threats, even if they were classified.
“Should I ever ask you for classified information again, remind me of this evening.” She whispered to Lee.
“Sorry, I don’t think I can. I’m planning to forget everything about this dinner as soon as we get out of here.” Lee whispered back, taking a big sip from his ambrosia. Again Alicia wondered what was bothering him so much. He had seemed fine when they came here.
“The need for secrecy is paramount, Ellen.” Adama explained.
Roslin thought it was time for her to take part in this conversation. She couldn’t leave all the fun to Adama. “Oh, I’m sorry. Perhaps you don’t know that the Cylons look like us now.”
“Oh, that, yes ... yes, I knew that.” Ellen replied, looking important.
“It’s recent news. Most people just found out a short while ago.” Roslin continued sharply.
“A thing like that would travel fast, right?” Ellen said tensely. She didn’t like the tone of Roslin’s voice.
“Any one of us could be a Cylon.” Adama stated, a small smile on his lips.
Everyone tensed up at that statement. An uncomfortable silence lay on the room. Again Alicia grasped Lee’s hand, but this time it was for her own comfort. Did her father-in-law just accuse Ellen Tigh of being a Cylon?
“Boo!” Ellen suddenly yelled, startling everyone. Then she broke out in a laughing fit, followed quickly by Tigh. Everyone else stayed quiet.
“Did you see the looks on their faces? You are too easy.” She kept laughing.
Adama finally had enough. With a forced smile he got up and looked in the round. “Thank you so much for coming. It’s been a wonderful evening.”
“Thought it would never end.” Tigh said quietly to his wife, but still loud enough for everyone to hear. Laughing he and his wife got up, quickly followed by everyone else. Suddenly Ellen looked around the floor.
“Oh ... I seem to have lost one of my shoes.”
“I think it’s right here.” Lee said with a forced smile, picking up her shoe from his side of the table.
“Thank you.” Ellen smiled at him.
“Here you are.” Lee handed her the shoe, blushing at the surprised looks everyone shot his way.
Adama didn’t even want to think of what Ellen Tigh’s shoe was doing on that side of the table and turned to his long-time friend. “You look very, very happy.”
“That’s because I am very, very happy.” Tigh laughed.
In the meantime Ellen leaned heavily on Lee while she put on her lost shoe again. “Thank you ... oops!” She seemed to have lost her balance and held onto him even more – grabbing his ass!
Alicia could hardly keep herself from laughing out loud at seeing her husband being the victim of Ellen Tigh’s advances. She didn’t think it was possible for Lee to blush even more.
“Well, it was ... uh ... it was nice to see you again.” Lee pressed out.
“Oh, the pleasure’s all mine.” Ellen assured him. “Hope to see you again soon.”
“I’m sure you will.” Lee said. It sounded more like a sigh than a statement.
Finally Ellen walked tipsily to the hatch, stumbling into her husband’s arms. Just before she was about to step into the corridor, she turned around again. “Oh wait, hang on, hang on, hang on ...” She called out.
Roslin, already knowing what had stopped her from leaving, grabbed the bottle of ambrosia still standing on the table and held it towards Ellen, who greedily reached for it.
“Bill, lovely evening.” She called out as she finally stumbled out of the room. She almost fell over again, but again Tigh managed to catch her in time.
“I’ve got her.” He assured everyone.
“Be careful.” Adama told him.
Finally, both Tighs had left the room, leaving everyone slightly stunned behind.
Roslin was the first to find her voice again. “You actually think that woman is a Cylon?”
“Well, if she’s not, then we’re all in a lot of trouble.” Lee replied, emptying his glass of ambrosia in one sip.
Mathilda thought it was time for her to leave now too. “Well, this has certainly been an entertaining evening.” She said as she got up. “Madam President, it has been an honor meeting you in person. And as a former kindergarten teacher let me tell you, you’re doing a great job keeping us all alive and going.” She held her hand to Roslin, who gladly took it.
“Thank you., Mrs. Musann. It has been a real pleasure meeting you. Maybe we can repeat this some day? In a more ... private environment.” Roslin said smiling.
“I’d love that.” Mathilda replied, returning the smile. Then she turned to Lee and Alicia. “Thank you for inviting me and please give Nia a kiss from me.”
“We will.” Alicia replied smiling.
“And Commander, it was a pleasure meeting you again.”
“The pleasure was all on my side, Mrs. Musann. I can only agree with the President. I hope we will meet again soon. Alicia has told me you have some interesting stories to tell.” Adama replied.
“Oh, I’m sure you do too, Commander. And I’d love to hear them some day. Good bye.” She waved at them all a last time and left.
“So, Lee, you never told me you were so close to the XO’s wife?” Alicia said grinning after she closed the hatch behind Mathilda.
“Funny.” Lee smirked at her.
“The scuttlebutt was that she slept with more than half the fleet while Saul was in space.” Adama said, feeling sorry for his friend.
“Then why the hell did he stay married to her?” Lee asked.
“It’s obvious.” Roslin stated sighing. “He loves her deeply.”
“Blindly.” Adama added. “Ellen used to encourage the worst instincts in this guy. Bring out the self-destructive streak in him.”
“Used to?” Both Lee and Alicia exclaimed.
They all thought about that for a moment. Finally it was Alicia who broke the silence. “If you think she’s a Cylon, shouldn’t she better be arrested?”
“We have no proof ... yet. But Baltar should be finished with the tests by now.” Adama replied.
“The tests? Has he finished his work on the detector?” Hopefully Alicia looked at Lee.
“Come on, Ali, you don’t still think Mathilda could be a Cylon, do you?” Lee asked stunned.
“Well ... no, it’s just ...” Alicia stammered.
“She’s taking care of your daughter, it’s only understandable you want to be sure.” Roslin said. “I will talk to Dr. Baltar that he will test her next. Only to calm you, of course. I can’t imagine Mrs. Musann is a Cylon.”
“Neither can I.” Adama added. “But I think it’s time we find out about Ellen. I'll have Baltar called to the lab."
“Thank you, Madam President.” Alicia said while Adama made his call. She was truly grateful that the President was willing to help them. Even though she knew that Lee had already talked to Baltar about the test, if the President asked for it surely it would make the right impression and he would get to it even faster. She didn’t really think that Mathilda could be a Cylon, but as Roslin had said – as a mother she needed to know for sure.
Ten minutes later they all stood in Baltar’s lab.
“Look, it’s not magic, it’s science. If you want my results, you’re gonna have to wait a while.” Baltar said angrily. He was sick of people demanding him to make miracles happen. He was only human after all.
“I gave you her sample this morning.” Adama responded as angrily. What was this man doing all day? Dwelling in fantasies?
“I have started and stopped the test twice already now, so I’m running a little behind.” Baltar replied offended.
“Twice?” Adama looked at him surprised.
“My fault ... long story.” Roslin quickly cut in before Baltar could say anything else.
“Your fault?” Adama asked with a raised eyebrow. Why did this woman always had to be in the middle of everything? He almost regretted inviting her for this dinner.
“Yes, I probably shouldn’t have mentioned that.” Baltar mumbled.
“No, you probably shouldn’t have.” Roslin said sharply, glaring intently at Adama.
“Did you tell him to stop Ellen’s test?” Adama demanded to know, returning her glare angrily.
“Yes. I did.” She said..
“Why?”
“Well, I had some concerns.” Roslin answered evasively.
“About what?”
“In all honesty, I think it’s fair to say that your behavior recently has been odd.”
“My behavior? What, do you think I’m a Cylon? Me?” Adama was stunned.
Alicia felt like she was losing her mind. The President had just accused her father-in-law of being a Cylon. But if he was a Cylon, than Lee would have to be one too, at least half. And Nia ... She suddenly felt like she was going to be sick and sagged down on a nearby chair.
“You okay?” Lee asked her quietly. He was as stunned as Alicia, but unlike her he found the idea of his father being a Cylon more than ridiculous.
Alicia only nodded. Talking wasn’t an option right now.
“You can’t deny that you’ve been making these ... what are they called ... off-log calls. These mysterious trips of the ship.” Roslin continued, unaware of the pale appearance of the woman next to her. All her attention was focused on Adama right now.
“Where did you hear that? Have you been spying on me, on my own ship?!” Adama yelled. He struggled hard to keep control over his emotions. How dare this woman ...
“Ladies and gentlemen, please. We’re in a laboratory. There are hazardous chemical compounds everywhere. That ... that’s a thermonuclear bomb, for fraks sake.” Baltar had felt like he should say something; this was his lab after all. He was completely ignored though.
Lee had followed the discussion silently so far and even though he didn’t believe Roslin’s accusations, her remark about his father taking off-logged trips of the ship had stunned him. “What? What do you mean, unlogged mysterious trips? What’s going on?” He asked confused.
“I had to go to the Rising Star and I didn’t want Tigh to know about it.” Adama explained.
“Why not?” Lee wanted to know.
“Because whether or not his wife is a Cylon, she’s nothing but trouble and I wanted to keep her away from him as long as I could.”
“Well, then, why did you bring her on board the ship?” Lee asked, rolling his eyes. He really wished his father had left her on the Rising Star. That would have made his life a lot easier.
“Because she’s his wife!” Adama replied determinedly. “I couldn’t refuse her access to her own husband without causing suspicion. Besides, I wanted her close to me.”
At that moment the Tighs stepped into the lab. They hadn’t heard much of the conversation except the last sentence.
“I told you! I told you he wanted me.” Ellen cut in dramatically. Everyone stared at her astounded.
“Oh lovely.” Baltar groaned. He felt like he was in the middle of a soap opera.
“What the hell’s going on? You have been secretly visiting my wife?” Tigh demanded to know.
“No! Yes ... but it’s complicated.” Adama admitted. He felt guilty for betraying his friend, not with her, but about her. And for the hundredth time this evening he wished that Lee had never found her on the Rising Star.
“I told you. He’s been after me for years!” Ellen yelled, triumph evident in her voice.
“What?” Adama, as everyone else, stared at her in disbelief. Tigh looked like he would explode any minute.
“Now, boys, boys, don’t fight over little old me.” Ellen smiled flattered.
“Ellen, be quiet!” Roslin snapped at her. She felt disgusted by that woman’s behavior. And from the look on Alicia’s face, she felt the same. The men just stood helplessly, not really knowing what to do next.
“No, you don’t tell me ...!” Ellen shouted at Roslin and immediately both women started to yell at each other.
“I think we should all just take a deep, deep breath!” Lee said, trying to calm everyone down..
Eventually it was Adama who got everyone quiet and listening to him. “I was afraid that she might be a Cylon. So I brought her blood over here and had it tested.”
“That’s why you cancelled your test?” Tigh looked at him astounded. How could he have ever believed – if only for a second – that Adama was a Cylon? That was as ridiculous as to think his wife was a Cylon.
“How’d you know about that?” Adama asked surprised.
But Tigh ignored his question and turned angrily to the President. “You didn’t tell me he was testing my wife!”
“You met with the president?” Adama glared angrily at his XO. He had only begun to get used to Lee being the President’s military advisor and now Tigh was going behind his back with her too? What was it about this woman that she could pull all the people closest to him onto her side?
“Yes.” Tigh admitted with gritted teeth. “She thought you might be a Cylon.”
“I know.” Adama sighed. Both he and Tigh looked angrily at Roslin, who returned their glare in a cold demeanor.
Before anyone could say anything else, Adama, Tigh and Lee were called to CIC over the PA speaker.
“Great.” Adama mumbled before he quickly left the lab, followed by Tigh.
“I’ll see you later, Ali.” Lee squeezed her hand quickly before he followed his commanding officers. He was more than glad that this part of the evening was finally over. He would have preferred any Cylon fight to this dinner.
“Well, I’ll be going too. It has been a splendid evening. Good night everyone.” Ellen smiled at Roslin and Alicia. The she looked slightly seductive at Baltar. “Doctor.” She waved at him and left the room.
“So, what did just happen here?” Alicia asked after a moment.
“What I feared would happen, only I didn’t think that we would take part in it so easily.” Roslin sighed. “Everyone is accusing everyone else of being a Cylon.”
Both women stayed quiet for a while as they reflected on everything that had happened tonight. Finally Roslin turned to Baltar.
“Doctor, I need to ask one more favor from you. There is someone else I’d like to get tested ...”
“That won’t be necessary, Madam President.” Alicia interrupted her. “I mean, if this is about Mathilda Musann.”
“It is. You don’t want her to be tested anymore?”
“No, not after what happened tonight. You were right. We can’t run around, assuming everyone around us could be a Cylon. I trust Mathilda, I like her actually very much. And that’s what’s important.” Alicia wasn’t sure, if this really was the right decision. But Roslin was right. She couldn’t run around for the rest of her life, assuming everyone around her was a Cylon. And tonight, if only for a short moment, she had even suspected her own family of being Cylons. She couldn’t live like that and not having Mathilda tested was a step in the right direction.
“I’m glad you think that way.” Roslin smiled at her. “Well, I guess we should call it a night then. It’s time for me to return to my ship. Doctor.” She nodded shortly at Baltar and then both women left the lab.
When Alicia stepped into her quarters, Kara was already waiting impatiently for her.
“Good, you’re here. I heard they were all called to CIC over the speakers. I’m sure it has something to do with the Raider, so I should be there too. I hope you had a nice evening. Gotta go.” Kara called the last words over her shoulder as she was already half out of the room.
Alicia closed the hatch behind her, then she checked on her daughter. Nia was sleeping peacefully in her bed. Alicia had secretly hoped that she would be crying all over when she and Lee would have returned to their quarters. It would have proved that Nia didn’t feel as comfortable with Kara as Lee thought. But instead she found her daughter looking happy even in her sleep. And Lee wasn’t with her, but in CIC and Kara was on her way to him and it annoyed her more than she liked to admit. She knew that was a stupid thought. They would be surrounded by lots of people. But it still bothered her.
After the jumping raider, they had watched throughout the day, had been destroyed before it was able to damage the Galactica, Lee and Kara went back to their quarters.
“So, how was dinner?” Kara wanted to know.
“Don’t ask.” Lee groaned.
“That bad? Did the food taste bad?” Kara laughed. All day she had envied Lee for getting a real meal for a change.
“No, the food was good. Dad hated it though. I think that was Alicia’s way of paying him back for inviting the Tighs. It was the company that sucked.”
Kara chuckled. Lee seldom used that kind of language; the evening must have been really bad. “What happened?”
“First of all, they were both already drunk before they even came.” Lee began.
“Typical.” Kara cut in, grinning.
“If you think Tigh is bad when he’s drunk, you should see his wife. Gods ...” Lee shuddered at the memory. “Anyway, after some of her stupid comments, Dad practically accused her of being a Cylon, than Roslin accused him.”
“The President thinks the old man is a Cylon?” Kara called out surprised.
“Who knows what gave her that idea, they never got along very well. All in all, it was one very long evening. ... And Ellen Tigh hit on me.”
“She what?’ Kara gasped. He couldn’t have just said what she thought she heard.
“Yeah, she ... made some passes.” Lee said in a strained voice.
“With Alicia right next to you?” Kara laughed. And once she started, she couldn’t stop anymore. She just kept laughing. The image of Lee being harassed by the XO’s wife was just too funny. “Gods, what wouldn’t I give to have seen that.”
“I’m glad you’re enjoying this.” Lee said in an angry voice. But he couldn’t hide the smile spreading on his face. It was good to see Kara laugh again. She had been too quiet around him the last two weeks. He had already worried that she might have been mad at him over something, though he couldn’t remember doing anything to upset her. But with Kara one never knew. But apparently it had only been his imagination. She didn’t seem to be angry at all. In fact, she was still laughing.
“Kara, I have to take that corridor to my quarters. You think you can find your bunkroom in your state or do I have to accompany you?”
Kara immediately sobered at that question. She would have given anything for him to stay with her right now. If he weren’t married, they could have gone to the bunkroom together, continuing their banter and then ... She forced herself to not finish that thought.
“No, I’ll be fine.” She said quietly. “Good night, Lee.”
“Good night, Kara.” Lee shot her a strange glance before he left. Her sudden seriousness troubled him. He wondered if there was something bothering her. But he was too exhausted to try to get it out of her tonight. Knowing Kara, that could take all night, and after his encounter with Ellen Tigh he just didn’t feel strong enough for another round with anyone.
Kara watched Lee leaving until he disappeared around the next corner. Again she had this feeling that a part of her heart was just ripped from her. Recently she always had the same feeling every time she saw Lee going to his family. She wondered if this feeling would ever go away or if in the end nothing would be left of her heart.
Chapter 13
“Have you heard the President’s speech today?” Alicia asked Lee. Together with Nia they sat in the mess hall, enjoying one of the seldom times they managed to get lunch together.
“About the tylium? Yes, I heard.” Lee replied absentmindedly. He was busy getting Nia to eat instead of showing him every single bit of food she could find on her plate. Mathilda had tried to teach her the names of most of the food available on Galactica and now Nia proudly wanted to show her father the names she learned. They didn’t always fit with the food she was pointing at, but Nia didn’t know that and Lee was proud nevertheless. He just wished she would also eat the food, not just name it.
“Beans.” Nia said proudly, pointing at the peas.
“Peas.” Lee corrected her smiling, holding a spoon full of them in front of Nia’s mouth.
“What are we going to do when the fleet runs out of it?” Alicia asked worried.”
“Of peas? We still have plenty of other food. I think we can handle not having peas anymore.” Lee replied, totally unaware of the actual meaning of her question.
“I meant the tylium, you ...” Alicia stopped herself. She didn’t want Nia to learn any more bad words, she had already picked up too many from Kara.
“Oh, that. We’re looking for it. Hopefully we’ll find some soon or we’ll run out of it.”
“I know we’re going to run out of it. What are we ...” Sighing Alicia gave up. It was useless trying to have a decent conversation with Lee while he was busy with his daughter. She sometimes wished he would pay half as much attention to her than he did to their daughter.
‘Oh great! Now I’m being jealous of my own daughter. I really am pathetic.” She thought, groaning inwardly.
“Noodles.” Nia laughed.
“Potatoes.” Lee corrected her again with a big grin on his face.
Three hours later Lee stood with Colonel Tigh in the War Room, planning an op. One of the raptor teams had finally found a tylium ore on an asteroid. The only problem was that the Cylons had found it before them. After some discussion they had agreed to attack the Cylon base on the asteroid and get the tylium anyway. And even though Lee’s first suggestion had been to leave the tylium where it was and go looking for some new someplace else, he was glad that his father had decided on the attack. He was tired of just running away. It was time they showed the Cylons – and everyone else – that they could still fight.
He and Tigh had just come up with a plan, when the hatch to the war room opened and Adama and Kara stepped into the room. Lee wasn’t even surprised to see her here. He should have known that his father didn’t trust him to come up with a plan on his own. It annoyed him that Kara was so much closer to his own father than he. Though it wasn’t surprising. They had been working closely together for the past two years, helping each other getting over Zak’s death, while he had been busy hating his father and feeling betrayed by Kara for taking the post on the Galactica.
Both Lee and Tigh came to attention as Adama was their commanding officer.
“At ease, gentlemen. I brought Lieutenant Trace with me. As you all know, she’s the perfect choice for out-of-the-box-thinking and that’s exactly what we need right now.” Adama explained.
Neither Lee nor Tigh looked too happy about Kara’s presence. While Kara didn’t care much about Tigh, seeing Lee’s expression hurt a lot. She had been looking forward to working with him on this mission and she had thought he would feel the same way. They had always been a great team back in the academy when it came to mission planning. They had complemented each other perfectly with their ideas. But Lee didn’t seem to think so anymore.
“What have you got so far?” Adama asked Lee and Tigh.
Lee immediately began explaining their plan. When he was finished, he looked expectantly at his father. He felt like a school boy again, waiting for his father’s approval.
“What do you think, Starbuck?” Adama asked.
Lee felt a stab of pain at this question. Obviously Kara’s opinion was more important than his own.
“It’s a text-book-plan. Which is why it won’t work.” Kara stated dryly.
“Of course, we bow to your vast experience in strategic planning. Refresh my memory, what year was it that you graduated from war college?” Tigh asked sarcastically.
Even though Lee had been angry too at hearing Kara’s words, he immediately fell into defensive mode. Kara was a genius when it came to mission planning, he knew that, and she didn’t need to go to war college to prove that. He was just about to say something in her defense, but Kara beat him to it.
“What’s the matter, Colonel? Married life’s not all you expected?”
Those words weren’t exactly what Lee would have chosen to say, but he liked them nevertheless and he had to hide his grin.
“That’s enough, both of you.” Adama cut in before this got out of hand. “We’re not gonna win this one by the book. I let Starbuck in here because she’s not weighed down by conventional thinking. All due respect, gentlemen, we’re not as crazy as she is. Okay, so what would you do differently?”
Kara only had to think for a minute before she came up with a new plan. Lee and Tigh had already developed a ground plan, she just had to make a few changes. “To start, jumping Galactica in behind the planetoid to hide it from the Cylon base is an obvious move.”
“You think they’ll be covering their blind spot with recon patrols.” Lee had already caught onto her plan and was fairly certain where she was going with this. He felt like he was back in academy with her, where they had spent hours working on test assignments.
“I would, if I were them. What we need to do is make their patrols part of our plan. You know, make their tactics work for us. Here’s what I would do ...” Kara continued.
As Kara kept explaining her plan, Lee realized how much he had missed those academy days with her. He was suddenly glad that his father had brought Kara in on this. Even though he still felt hurt by his father’s obvious distrust in his abilities, he enjoyed working so closely with Kara again. And he had to admit, her plan was brilliant.
The attack was supposed to take place in two days. That was enough time for everyone to prepare for the mission. Baltar had shown them where they could most likely hit the Cylon base with the most damage without destroying the tylium. Now all Lee had to decide was which pilot would fly in which group. He knew that the casualties in the group he was going to lead would be the highest as they would directly attack the base. It was the most difficult part of the attack, but he couldn’t just put all the experienced pilots in this one group. As hard and cold as it sounded, losing some nuggets wouldn’t hurt them as much as losing the older pilots. He would have to find a way to balance it out – it wasn’t easy. He felt like he was deciding who deserved to live and who didn’t.
He had just thrown his last schedule away because he still wasn’t satisfied when the hatch to his office opened. Angrily he looked up – he really didn’t have time for any more problems. But the anger quickly faded when he saw his wife stepping into his office.
“Are you planning to come home any time soon? It’s already after midnight.” She asked in a soft voice. He could see that she was worried about him. Lately she watched carefully that he didn’t work too long. She had told him she didn’t want to find him in sickbay again like she had after the search for Kara.
“I just have to get this finished.” Lee said, pointing at the once again empty paper in front of him.
With a raised eyebrow Alicia looked at all the crumbled papers lying on the floor – he hadn’t always hit the waste basket when he had thrown them away. “How many tries to you think you need?”
Sighing Lee shrugged his shoulders. “At least one more. I need to do this right.”
“Just don’t let it keep you all night. I’m waiting for you.” Alicia leaned down to him and gave him a kiss before she left.
Lee decided he would give himself one more try to get it right – if it didn’t work, he wold continue in the morning.
He ended up with three more attempts until he fell asleep on his desk.
“I know I should have stayed with you last night.”
Lee’s head jerked up and he looked at his wife in confusion. “What ...?”
“You fell asleep in your office. When I woke up this morning and you weren’t there, I figured I’d find you here.” Alicia told him.
“Frak, what time is it? I’m supposed to go over the op with Kara this morning.” Lee frantically looked at his watch. “Frak! I’ll be late!” He quickly jumped up, ran passed his wife, pulled the hatch open, ran back to Alicia, gave her a quick kiss and ran out again. “Sorry Ali, and thanks for waking me.” He called over his shoulder. Then he quickly ran into his quarters, jumped under the shower for only a minute and after drying up threw on a fresh uniform. Then he ran to the projector room where he was supposed to meet Kara. When he arrived, he was slightly out of breath, but he had managed to get there on time – almost.
“You’re late.” Kara barked at him. She obviously wasn’t in the best mood.
“Only a minute.” Lee replied defensively after checking his watch.
“Well, I don’t have all day for this.” Kara snapped at him, than she started going over the details of the mission. Lee got angrier with every word she said. She spoke with him as if he was just some nugget, not her CAG and one of the best pilots they had.
“You don’t think I’m up to it.” He stated dryly when she was done. He tried hard to suppress the anger in his voice.
“Of course I do, you’ll be fine.” Kara replied quietly. It didn’t sound very convincing.
“Look, you’re worried that I’m not going to pull it out of the fire with some high-risk retina detaching move, the way Starbuck would. Well, Kara, I’m sorry you’re not suiting up. Because believe me, everyone will feel so much better, me included, if you were riding along with us. But this isn’t an ego trip, this is my job. And don’t think for one moment that I will not get it done.” Lee replied angrily.
Kara had no doubt that Lee would finish this mission successfully. If anyone could do it, it was him. But she couldn’t tell him that. Not now. Not after the conversation she just had with Adama this morning. She was feeling so angry, angry that she couldn’t fly on this mission, that she frakked up her knee. And now she felt angry for making Lee feel that he wasn’t good enough in her eyes. She knew it was wrong, but she wanted him to feel the same pain she did right now.
“I hope so, cause we’ve got one shot. Don’t frak it up by overthinking.” Kara regretted the words as soon as they had left her mouth, but it was too late to take them back. She could see in Lee’s eyes that her words had hurt him. She was just about to apologize, something she didn’t do very often, when Alicia’s voice stopped her.
“Lee, sorry to interrupt. Your daughter is demanding to see you. She won’t eat unless you come. We’ve tried for more than half an hour. Your father joined us and he said I should pull you from this meeting; his granddaughter would be more important.”
“I’m coming.” Lee replied, still glaring angrily at Kara. When she didn’t say anything else, he turned and left the room.
“I’ll join you in a few minutes.” Alicia told him when he walked passed her.
“Okay.” Lee muttered. He just wanted to get away from Kara as fast as he could. Her words had really hurt. He already knew that his father trusted her more than him and he knew that everyone would feel better if she’d lead this mission. He didn’t need her to tell him that. He would feel better too but he couldn’t change the fact that she had hurt her knee in that frakking crash.
Alicia had also seen the insecurity in her husband’s eyes and she had heard the last words spoken between him and Kara. As soon as she felt that Lee was out of earshot, she stormed towards Kara, who still stood motionless in front of the projection.
“How dare you talk to my husband like that? And right before this mission? He’s already doubting himself thanks to you and his father, he doesn’t need you to tell him he’s going to screw this up.” She yelled at Kara.
“I didn’t tell him ...” Kara started, surprised by Alicia’s outburst.
“You’re supposed to be his best friend, at least that’s what Lee keeps telling me. That means you support him, like he has done with you over and over again since we came on board this ship.”
“Look, all I ...” Kara tried to defend herself, but was stopped by Alicia again.
“If he doesn’t come back from this mission, it will be your fault! If he dies, it will be because he couldn’t get your words out of his head. A great friend you are ...” Alicia glared at her furiously. She had talked herself in such a rage, that she couldn’t get another word out.
Kara was as speechless. All the words she wanted to throw back at Alicia stuck in her mouth. Instead she just stared at her. Alicia was right – should anything happen to Lee it would be her fault. All her anger was suddenly gone. She had known he doubted himself, his ability to lead this mission. And instead of supporting him, she had only increased those doubts. She really was the worst friend one could imagine. She was suddenly glad that she had never told Lee about her feelings for him. He deserved someone better than her. Being married to Alicia was good for him, better even than to have her as a friend. When Kara didn’t say anything else, Alicia turned around and stormed out.
Lee sat silently at the table, watching his daughter eat. As soon as she had seen her father, she had started eating eagerly.
“Looks like she misses having breakfast with her Dad.” Adama said quietly. Even though he usually preferred to take his breakfast in his quarters, he enjoyed the seldom times he had been able so far to share it with his granddaughter in the mess.
“Yeah ...” Lee replied, not even bothering to look up. He was still watching his daughter, but the look in his eyes indicated he was miles away.
“Nervous?” Adama asked quietly. He could see that something was troubling his son and he assumed it had to do with tomorrow’s mission.
Before Lee could respond, Alicia came back to the table and sat down. “So, you finally got her to eat.”
“Yeah.” As before, Lee only replied with this one word. But unlike Adama, Alicia knew what was troubling him. She just didn’t know what she should do about it. She could tell him that she trusted him to make this mission a success and that she was sure he would come back safe to her. But her words wouldn’t change anything. As much as she hated to admit it, she knew that Kara’s opinion on that matter was more important to him. And the truth was, she wasn’t sure herself that he would come back alive. She was scared to death that he would die out there. She would be all alone then. She didn’t think she’d survive losing him.
It was already late at night and Adama was on his way back to his quarters when he ran into Alicia.
“Have you seen Lee?” She asked as soon as she saw him. “He’s not in his office and he really should get some sleep before tomorrow.”
Adama had to smile when he saw the worry in Alicia’s eyes. He knew there was no reason for it. Lee was probably some place quiet, thinking about the mission tomorrow. Just like I would, Adama thought to himself. He had never been able to sleep before a mission himself. He couldn’t deny he felt proud that Lee was at least a bit similar to him. He usually took more after his mother, except when it came to flying. That he had definitely inherited from his father.
“I think I know where he might be. Why don’t you go back to your quarters, I make sure he’ll follow you soon.” He told her quietly.
“Oh, okay. Thanks.” Alicia said hesitantly She would have preferred to get Lee herself, but she figured she would have to trust her father-in-law enough to talk to Lee. She just hoped he would be able to convince Lee that he trusted him and not make it worse than it already was. Also she hoped it wouldn’t take too long. Right now she wanted Lee close to her.
A few minutes later Adama stepped in the hangar bay. As expected he found his son there, staring at his viper. It didn’t look as shiny as it had the day of the decommissioning ceremony. The fights with the Cylons had clearly left their marks.
“Can’t sleep?” He approached his son. “I couldn’t either before a big op.” Sighing he looked at the Viper. “Mark 2 ... good ship. Got me out of a lot of tough scrapes.” Adama looked back at Lee, who still stared at the viper.
“Got something for you. Belonged to your grandfather.” Adama said and finally Lee turned to him. Adama got out an old steel lighter and handed it to him. Lee smiled shortly. He remembered his grandfather using this lighter. It felt good to hold something that had belonged to someone he loved. He had lost everything that had ever held memories for him.
“My mom bought it for him when he was in law school. See the engraving on it?” Adama asked, glad that he finally had his son’s attention.
Lee looked intently at the lighter, trying to read the inscription. “Yeah, I can barely make it out, but ...”
“He was a better father than I was.” Adama said ruefully. “Dad used to carry that into court cases, claimed he never lost, unless he left it behind.”
“So you’re worried too.” Lee replied bitterly.
That was not at all the reaction Adama had hoped for. By giving his son that lighter, he had tried to bond with him, show him his trust. “About what?” He asked confused.
“You know, sometimes it feels like the whole ship thinks Starbuck would do better.”
Finally Adama understood. Lee was doubting his own abilities. He figured it hadn’t been helpful that he had brought Starbuck in on the planning. But he trusted his son and he would prove him that.
“I don’t.” He said determinedly.
“How can you be so sure?” Lee asked, the doubt still evident in his voice.
The look in Lee’s eyes reminded him of the day Lee had asked him if he would have left him behind. He had been surprised by the insecurity in Lee’s eyes then. Again he regretted that he had let his relationship with his son drift so far apart that Lee would actually think he would leave him behind, that he didn’t trust him when in truth Lee had never done anything to disappoint him.
“Cause you’re my son.” He said, looking intently at Lee. He truly hoped he had found the right words this time. “Get some rest, you’re gonna need it. And your wife is already waiting for you.”
Lee stared at the lighter in his hands. “Dad ...” He looked up at his father. “I’ll bring it back.”
“You better, or I’ll kick your ass. It’s a good lighter.” Adama joked in an attempt to lighten the mood. He was content when he saw his son smiling.
After his father had left, Lee stayed in the hanger bay for a while longer, staring at his viper again. He felt now more than ever the pressure of being William “Husker” Adama’s son. He would have to make this mission a success, not only to prove that he was able to, but also to show everyone that he was worthy of being the son of William Adama.
The mission was a complete success. The Cylon base and the remaining raiders got destroyed. They had lost many pilots that day, but today that didn’t stop anyone from celebrating their victory. But they didn’t just celebrate the successful mission, they were also celebrating the hero of the day – Lee “Apollo” Adama. When the Cylons had jammed their guidance system so that their missiles couldn’t get near the base, Lee had flown through a conveyor tunnel to get straight into the refinery. It had been a great risk. He hadn’t really believed he would get out of it alive again. Any second he had anticipated the tunnel would come to an unexpected end. But the tunnel hadn’t ended and Lee came out right next to the refinery. He had fired his missiles immediately and had destroyed the base.
When Lee climbed out of his viper, he saw Kara already waiting for him. Laughing, he walked over to her, hardly noticing Cally who stood next to Kara and who hugged him joyfully, handing him a bottle of ambrosia.
“Apollo, you magnificent bastard, that was one hell of a piece of flying and I couldn’t have done it better myself.” Kara told him laughing, relieved to have him back. She wanted nothing more than to pull Lee into a tight embrace, make sure he was really all right and never let go of him again. She had been so afraid to lose him today and now he was standing right in front of her again – alive and breathing. But she couldn’t tell him that.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.” Lee teased her, unaware of her true feelings. He obviously enjoyed every second of this special moment.
Right now Kara would have given him anything he wanted. “I said that I couldn’t have done it better myself.” She said again. Normally she would be angry at Lee for making her repeat those words, but right now she was just too happy to have him back alive. And she enjoyed seeing him so relaxed. It was probably the first time since he came onboard that he didn’t seem to worry about anything and simply enjoyed the moment.
“Well, thank you.” Lee replied smiling, clinking his bottle with hers.
Inwardly Kara melted away at that smile. She always had – luckily she had enough experience over the years to hide that. Sarcasm was always her best defense against the Adama charm. “Mmm ... I had my doubts.”
“So did I.” Le said, looking at her intently.
“Mmm.” Kara suddenly felt the guilt return for making him feel that way, for making him doubt himself. She was bracing herself for anything he would throw at her.
“I wasn’t sure that crazy-ass plan of yours would even possibly work.” Lee grinned at her mischievously, taking Kara by surprise. That was not what she had expected. She couldn’t help but return the grin. How could it be, that no matter how much they hurt each other, in the end everything was forgiven?
“Mmm.” Smiling she pulled out a cigar – it was the same one Adama had given her on her first day in sickbay. She had saved it for a special occasion – and this definitely was one. “You deserve this.”
She handed the cigar to Lee, who took it gratefully. Then he pulled out his father’s lighter and lit the cigar.
“Where the hell did you come up with that lighter? You just got back from the mission?” Kara laughed.
“Always prepared for everything.” Lee replied grinning. Then he saw his father standing a few feet away, looking at him intently – and proudly, Lee noticed surprised. He gave his father a small smile, then he tossed the lighter back to him.
Adama had never felt so proud of his son – and so relieved. When Lee had flown into that conveyor tunnel, he had thought he had lost him. His heart had broken at the thought that he would never see his son again. Those few minutes without contact to him had probably been the longest in his life. But Lee had come back and Adama enjoyed watching him celebrating this victory with his friends. It was good to see him laugh again – a real laugh, not the suppressed, polite, controlled laugh he was used to. He watched how Kara dragged him away to follow the other pilots. They were obviously planing on taking the party to the rec room. Smiling Adama thought of his own victory parties when he was younger. He knew he should put a stop to it. They couldn’t really afford to have all their pilots drunk or overly tired in the morning. But he didn’t have the heart to take this away from them.
Hours after his return to Galactica, Lee finally went back to his quarters. He was looking forward to tell Alicia all about their glorious victory against the Cylons. He had been a bit disappointed that she had neither come to the hangar bay nor to the rec room later to celebrate with him. But he figured she hadn’t wanted to leave Nia alone. They couldn’t always put her in Mathilda’s care and a room full of drunken pilots wasn’t the best place for a two year old. And Kara had taken care that he still had a good time, he thought grinning.
When he stepped into his quarters, he was surprised to see that the lights were still on. Both Alicia and Nia were already asleep; Alicia must have forgotten to turn the lights off. This was unusual for her, as she always claimed she couldn’t sleep with the lights on. Lee didn’t put much thought to it, maybe she had let them on for him. He was still feeling high from the adrenaline and the ambrosia which he had enjoyed a lot of tonight. For a moment he thought about waking his wife to tell her everything. But then he didn’t want to disturb her sleep; she hadn’t slept well lately and he couldn’t get himself to wake her up. He was just about to pull off his flight suit when his eyes fell on an almost empty pill box next to the bed. It wasn’t like Alicia to just leave her pills lying around in the open like this. The chances of Nia crawling out of her bed and opening the box on her own were small, but you could never be too sure. He took the box from the night stand to put it back in the cabinet, when he saw that those weren’t her usual pills she took every day. He couldn’t even say why, but he read the inscription on the box. They were sleeping pills. He hadn’t even known she took sleeping pills and the box was almost empty. A sudden fear spread through him. He quickly bent down and shook Alicia to wake her up. When she didn’t respond, he could feel the panic starting to rise in him.
“Ali!” He shook her even more, but she still lay motionless on the bed. When he checked for a pulse it was hardly noticeable and her breathing was shallow.
“No ...” He whispered. For a moment he could do nothing else but stare horrified at his wife. Then he grabbed the phone and called for a med team. He hoped they would come fast. “Ali, wake up. You have to wake up!” Desperately he tried to wake her up again and again, but she didn’t respond to anything. He could feel the tears brimming in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall down his face. He had to stay strong.
It only took the medics a few minutes to arrive at their quarters. “What happened?” Layne Ishay was shocked to see her friend and colleague lying motionless and pale on the bed, but the medic in her pushed those fears away and she concentrated on doing her job.
Lee quickly explained what happened and Layne took the necessary steps. She told the other medic to call Cottle and let him now to await them in sickbay. Then she turned back to Lee, who still sat next to the bed. “Captain, you should take care of your daughter, we’ll take care of your wife.”
Lee stared at her in confusion, then he looked over to his daughter. She was awake and stood in her bed, crying at the unusual commotion around her. He quickly walked to her and picked her up, holding her close to him while he watched the medics working on his wife. He gently stroked Nia’s back in an attempt to calm her. At the same time he tried to hinder her from looking at her mother; even if she couldn’t understand what was happening, he didn’t want her to see this.
A short while later Alicia was put on a stretcher. An oxygen mask was plastered on her face and she had an IV in her arm. With Nia in his arms, Lee quickly followed the medics as they rushed Alicia to sickbay.
Slightly out of breath Adama stepped into sickbay. After Cottle had called him, he had come running straight to sickbay. Cottle had only told him that there was a family emergency. His first feeling at seeing Lee sitting in one of the chairs in the waiting room with Nia on his lap was relief. His son was all right and so was his granddaughter. Then he noticed that Alicia was nowhere to be seen.
“Lee, what happened?” Adama had hurried to his son and sat down next to him.
Helplessly Lee looked at his father. “She tried to commit suicide, Dad.” He whispered, the despair clearly audible in his voice.
Adama was too shocked to say anything at first. Speechless he looked at his son for a moment.
“What ... why? Did ... did anything happen?” He stammered.
“I don’t know. She was fine when I saw her the last time. I ... “ His voice broke and he stared at the door behind which Cottle was trying to save his wife.
Adama could see that his son was on the verge of a breakdown and he noticed that Nia was picking up on it and was near crying. He gently took her from Lee’s arms. Lee wasn’t even really aware of it. “I’ll be right back, son.”
He took Nia to a nurse who had been working on his ship for several years. He explained the situation to her and she agreed willingly to call Mathilda and watch Nia until she arrived. After Adama was convinced that Nia was in good hands, he returned to his son. Quietly he sat down next to him. After a while he put his hand on Lee’s shoulder and together they waited for Cottle to tell them about Alicia’s condition.
After what seemed to be an eternity, Cottle finally approached the two waiting men. At first, Lee could do nothing but stare at him, afraid what he was going to say. Eventually it was Adama who asked the inevitable question.
“How is she?”
“She’s alive. Her condition is stable and I expect a full recovery within the next few days.” Cottle replied. “You found her just in time.”
“That’s good news.” Adama sighed relieved. He had expected the worst.
“Where did she get the pills?” Lee asked. It was the first time he spoke since he had told his father what had happened.
“There is a box of sleeping pills missing in the meds cabinet. We checked it a few minutes ago. Your wife was taking care of our meds stock recently. We don’t know when she took it.” Cottle explained.
“How could you let her take care of it? You know about her condition!” Lee asked loudly as he jumped up. He could feel the anger well up in him. He just wasn’t sure if he was really angry at Cottle or at himself.
“Lee ...” Adama tried to calm his son but Cottle interrupted him.
“If she didn’t take the pills, she would have found another way. I didn’t notice that she had any symptoms. She worked more recently, more than she had to, but she seemed fine. I didn’t think there was a problem. Did you?”
“No.” Lee whispered as he sagged down on the chair again. “I thought she was okay.”
Adama’s heart broke for his son. He could only imagine what Lee was going through right now. As he didn’t know what to say, he simply put his arm around Lee’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Doc, I didn’t mean to ...” Lee’s voice trailed off and he looked desperately at Cottle. The last time he had felt so completely lost was the day his brother had died.
“You don’t have to apologize, Captain.” As Adama, Cottle felt sorry for the young man. And he partially blamed himself for not noticing that Alicia had problems. He knew about her disease, he should have watched her more closely. He hoped that both Lee and Alicia would find a way through this.
“Can I see her?” Lee asked quietly.
“Of course, it’s this way.” Cottle showed them where Alicia lay, then he left the Adama family alone.
For hours Lee had sat next to Alicia’s bed, holding her hand. His father had left a while ago after he got called away to CIC. Lee didn’t really remember why.
Finally it seemed that Alicia was going to wake up. Hopefully he watched how she slowly opened her eyes. At first she looked around herself in confusion until her eyes locked with Lee’s.
“Hey ...” Lee said quietly. “It’s good to see you awake.”
“Lee?” Alicia stared at him in disbelief. “Am I dead?”
“No, you’re not. I found you in time.” Lee swallowed and he forced himself to smile, but he couldn’t look her in the eyes. He didn’t want to see her look of disappointment at still being alive.
“I thought you were dead. I ...” Her voice broke and tears started to fall down her face.
“What? No, Ali, I’m fine. Why ... Why did you think that?” He looked at her surprised.
“You didn’t come home after the mission. When we jumped back to the fleet and you ... you didn’t come. I thought ... “
Shocked Lee stared at his wife. He wanted to tell her that he had just been celebrating with the other pilots, that he had waited for her to come. But he couldn’t. While he had been celebrating, Alicia had sat in their quarters, thinking he was dead. “Why didn’t you ask my father? Anyone? They could have told you ...” His voice trailed off.
“You didn’t come ...I’m sorry ...” Alicia whispered, her voice barely audible anymore. She struggled to stay awake and after a few seconds her eyes fell close and she was asleep again. Lee just sat there, frozen. He couldn’t believe that she had tried to kill herself because she had thought he was dead. She had thought ... she hadn’t even known for sure. She had just assumed he was dead and took the frakking pills – with Nia in the room. He suddenly felt angry at her. He let go of her hand and just stared at her. He told himself that is wasn’t her fault. It was her disease. He should have noticed that she had gotten worse again. There must have been symptoms, any signs to warn him what was going on with her. But he hadn’t noticed anything, there had been no signs. If there had been any, she had successfully hid them from him. He felt betrayed by her for that ... and he wished he had gone home right after returning to Galactica.
After Adama had been called away to CIC, he had notified Kara of what happened and had asked her to check on Lee. When she stepped into Alicia’s room, she found Lee sitting at her side. He didn’t move, he wasn’t holding her hand, he just stared at his sleeping wife. Without saying a word, Kara moved closer to him, putting her hand on his shoulder. After a few moments of silence, she was beginning to wonder if Lee had even realized she was there, when he suddenly spoke.
“Doc said she’s going to be okay.”
Kara swallowed. The pain in his voice broke her heart.
“Your father told me that, too. That’s great.” She waited for Lee to say something else, but he stayed silent.
“Has she woken up yet?” Kara asked after a while.
“Only for a short time ... She said she was sorry.” Lee replied bitterly.
Worried Kara took a closer look at Lee. He looked exhausted, devastated and ... angry. She squeezed his shoulder slightly. “Why don’t we go for a walk? Get some coffee or something.”
“I don’t know ...” Lee said, looking hesitantly at Alicia.
“Come on. You’re gonna need your strength for when she’s awake. You’re not helping her by watching her sleep.”
Lee closed his eyes for a moment. Alicia’s words kept repeating themselves in his head. Finally he looked at Kara again. “Okay, let’s go.”
Chapter 14
Silently Kara and Lee sat in the mess hall, both staring at their coffee. At this hour the mess hall was completely empty – everyone was either still asleep or working.
“How did you sober up so quickly anyway? You were pretty drunk when I left you.” Lee broke the silence first.
“Things like that tend to sober me up pretty quickly. There’s nothing like a good crisis to get the ambrosia out of my system. Kara replied smiling.
Lee returned the smile, but Kara noticed it never reached his eyes.
“How are you feeling, Lee?” She asked quietly.
“Tired.”
“And besides that?”
“Just tired. I’m tired of all this. And I’m angry.” Lee swallowed. He hadn’t meant to say the last part out loud, but it felt good to speak about it. He could feel the tears brimming in his eyes again, but he wasn’t going to cry. An Adama never cried. “How could she do this? What about Nia? If I hadn’t come back, then Nia would have had no one. I ... Every time I went into battle, I thought that Nia would at least have Alicia, but now ... She said she thought I was dead. That’s why she took the pills. She thought I was dead because I didn’t come right home after this frakking mission.” He swallowed again and quickly wiped away a tear that had escaped his eye. “So what now? I die in battle and she follows me right away? What’s going to happen to Nia then?”
Kara had listened silently. It broke her heart to see him like this. She remembered the time after the events on the Astral Queen when Alicia had been in sickbay too. Lee had looked as lost then as he did now. He had never told her what had been wrong with Alicia then. She wondered if she had tried then too to take her life.
Looking at Lee, she thought about what to say next. He was usually the strong one of them. She was the one breaking down and he was always there to pick her up afterwards. Now it was her turn.
“You don’t have to worry about Nia, Lee.” She took his hands in hers, willing him to look at her. “When you go out there, I don’t want you to think of anything else but coming back. There are so many people on this ship who care for her. Your father would take her in a heartbeat. And there is a long list with people willing to help him. Starting with Mathilda and ending with the President. Frak, even I would watch out for her.” Hesitantly Kara looked at Lee. She hoped she had found the right words. She usually wasn’t very good at giving comfort to others. “You have an amazing daughter and everyone on this ship loves her dearly.”
“Thanks.” Lee said quietly after a while. Her words hadn’t stopped him to worry about Nia and Alicia, but he felt better. She was right. Nia wouldn’t be alone. His father certainly wouldn’t turn away from his only grandchild. Mathilda would still be there to watch her and he knew that there were lots of people who had fallen for his daughter. Dualla and Sharon kept asking him if they could help out again. Even the Chief had asked once. And though Kara had never asked, he knew she would take care of Nia too. But Nia would grow up without her parents. If both he and Alicia had died yesterday, she wouldn’t have even remembered them later.
Kara saw the sadness return to Lee’s eyes. “How about we go to the gym for a few rounds?” She tried to lighten the mood. If words weren’t helping anymore, hitting something definitely would.
“I don’t think Cottle would like that idea.” He said, pointing at her knee. “I better get back to sickbay.” Lee took Kara’s hand and squeezed it slightly. “Thanks Kara.”
When they got up, Kara pulled Lee into a tight embrace. “Anytime.” She whispered in his ear. They stayed like that for a long time.
Alicia sat in her room talking to the Priestess Elosha. It was a week after her suicide attempt. Lee had insisted that she’d talk to someone qualified. She didn’t want to talk to a therapist though; even though she had had one on Caprica and it had always helped talking to him, Galactica was a small ship when it came to rumors and she was afraid everyone would think she was crazy. When President Roslin had suggested Elosha, both Lee and Alicia had been grateful and Elosha had agreed to come to Galactica twice a week. But now that she was here, Alicia didn’t know what to tell her.
They sat in silence for some time. Elosha wanted to give the younger woman time to get used to her. But when Alicia hadn’t said anything after several minutes, Elosha decided to make the first step.
“I can understand how difficult it is for you to talk about what happened. We could talk about something else first, if you like. To get to know each other.”
“I don’t want to waste your time. My husband insisted that I talk to someone. I don’t really think it’s necessary. I’m fine.”
“Are you really?”
“Doctor Cottle has increased my medication. There’s nothing to worry about.” Alicia replied defiantly.
“So you felt depressed only because you didn’t get a high enough dosage of medication?”
“Yes.”
“Your husband told me you said you were afraid to lose him, that you didn’t want to live without him.”
“So? I was depressed! He’s a viper pilot who was flying a dangerous mission at the time. I watched him for two days, worrying who of his pilots would come back alive. Worrying if he would come back alive. Of course I was scared for him.” Alicia said angrily.
“Are you still scared?” Elosha quietly asked.
“What?” Alicia looked at her confused.
“Are you still scared to lose him?”
Alicia stared at her for a long moment, then she looked down at her hands. “Yes.” She whispered.
“And should he die tomorrow, what would you do?”
“I .... I don’t know.” Alicia admitted quietly. She looked at Elosha helplessly. “I don’t know what I would do without him. I’m not that strong. I don’t think that I could ever raise Nia on my own.” She sobbed, wiping away the tears that had been falling down her eyes. “I’m a terrible mother. I ...” Her voice broke and she looked devastated at the older woman.
Comforting Elosha took her hands in hers. “You’re not a terrible mother. I remember you with your daughter on Colonial One, shortly after the attacks. Despite the circumstances, despite how scared you felt, you gave your daughter the feeling that she was safe with you. And I remember your husband too that day. The second he laid eyes on you after he came onboard, he pulled strength from knowing you were there. You are a lot stronger than you think.”
“Then why don’t I feel that strong?”
“That’s what I’m here to help you with.” Elosha replied smiling.
“Should there ever be an election, the president has my vote.” Kara said grinning.
“Because she gave us an hour off?” Lee asked smiling.
“Yep. What better reason could there be.” Kara replied, while dragging Lee into the sunlit park of Cloud 9. They had been ordered to take care of security on the luxury liner during the first meeting of the Quorum of Twelve. Despite their lack of experience in that area, they had finished their job early, so the President had given them some time off to relax before the meeting.
“Maybe we should go over the security details again. There will ...”
“Lee, stop! Would you relax? The President herself gave us some time off. It’s okay to not work every once in a while.”
“But there ...”
“Uh!” Kara held her hand up to stop him talking. “No more talking. This is the perfect place. Lie down!” She ordered him. Then she lay down herself on the grass and closed her eyes. After a moment of hesitation, Lee followed her.
Once he lay on the fresh smelling grass, with closed eyes and feeling the sun on his skin, he could almost imagine lying in his mother’s garden. “Ah, I can’t remember the last time I felt the sunlight on my face. It sure feels like the real thing.” He said smiling.
“They could have done a better job with the horizon though.” Kara complained.
They both stayed quiet for a while, enjoying the sun and the fresh grass beneath them.
“So, how is Alicia doing?” Kara asked after a few moments. She had been meaning to ask for a few days, but somehow there was never the right time.
Lee hesitated a moment before he replied. “She says she’s feeling better. She seems fine. She is taken more medication now, but ... I don’t know. I thought she was okay before and she wasn’t ...” His voice trailed off. He had opened his eyes and stared at the fake sky.
“So ... is she depressed or something?” Kara asked carefully. She didn’t really feel that she had any right to ask, but when Lee had mentioned the medication, she had gotten curious.
Again Lee hesitated. He didn’t feel comfortable talking about Alicia’s condition with Kara, especially with his wife’s feelings about her. But if he couldn’t talk about it with Kara, who could he talk to? It still felt strange talking to his father about personal problems and he didn’t have any other close friends on Galactica – or anywhere else in the fleet.
“She has manic depression. It started right after Nia was born. She ... she suddenly was like a whole other person. The first weeks after Nia was born Alicia spent in ... in a hospital. She still feels guilty about missing that time.” Lee said quietly.
“I’m sorry.” Kara swallowed. She didn’t really know what to say, so she got up and walked a few steps around Lee. Eventually she did what she always did – she changed the subject. “Security is gonna be a bitch. A thousand different places for a sniper to hide. How many people are we dealing with again?”
“Five hundred plus.” Lee replied, relieved about the new subject. He also got up again. Seeing Kara walking around him in circles was making him nervous. “Each colony is sending a delegation of leading citizens.”
“Great ... herds of looki-loos, anyone of whom could be a Cylon.” Kara smirked. That’s when her eyes fell on a garden hose lying around on the grass. It looked like the perfect opportunity to get Lee’s mind off all his worries for a while.
“But toasters aren’t our only problem. Don’t you pay attention to the politics?” He was totally unaware of what Kara was doing since she had fallen a few steps back.
“No.” Kara shrugged. There were more important things in life – like having some fun with her best friend, she thought grinning.
“A lot of unrest out there.”
“So why is Roslin insisting on letting so many people come?” Kara asked, hiding the hose behind her back.
“Well, I guess she thinks it’s important for them to be able to observe how their government works.” Lee replied.
“So, basically she’s running for re-election.” Kara stated dryly. In the end, all politicians were the same.
Finally Lee turned around and saw Kara with the hose, aiming it directly at him. “No ... Kara!” He warned her. He should have known that wouldn’t stop her. Laughing she started squirting him.
Startled, Lee jumped to the side, right before he went after Kara to pay her back. “Kara, get off. Give me that.” He laughed. He finally managed to catch her and grabbed the hose from her. Laughing he aimed back at her and they both quarreled over the hose, already soaking wet. For a few minutes, neither of them thought about security, politics or assassination attempts.
As much as Kara and Lee had enjoyed that free time in the park, the next few hours weren’t as pleasant. Not only had they gotten into a bar fight with one of Zarek’s followers, they had also found a suspected assassin, a man named Valance. They had interrogated him for several hours, but no matter how many threats they spoke, he still claimed to be innocent. The weapons they found on him spoke another story though.
“We put all the heat on Valance that we could and we still can’t tie him to Zarek.” Lee said frustrated. The President had asked him to give her a report about the suspect.
“I know Zarek’s behind this, keep working on Valance.” Roslin said determinedly.
“We will, but to be safe, I think you should send the entire Sagittaron delegation back to their ships.” Lee suggested. He usually didn’t agree on shutting out people because they came from a certain colony, but the President’s life was more important to him than principles. He should have known though that Roslin would never agree to something like this.
“Can’t do this.” She confirmed Lee’s thoughts. “It violates their civil rights and plays right into Zarek’s hands.”
“But he could still have another shooter on Cloud 9 and if Zarek wins the vote, he’s more than capable of ordering your assassination and ascending to the presidency.” Lee tried to reason with her.
“Zarek’s not going to win because I’m not going to let him.” Roslin replied. Lee admired her determination, he just hoped it wouldn’t get her killed in the end.
“Meanwhile,” Roslin went on,” you’re gonna tap his phones, you’re gonna bug his room. If you find anything that remotely connects Zarek to Valance, shut him down!”
“And how exactly are you planning to pull this off?” Kara smirked when Lee told her of Roslin’s order.
“Hadrian has sent us the equipment over that we need. We get in, bug his room and get out.” Lee explained.
“In and out. That’s your plan?”
“Yep.”
“O-kay ... What if something goes wrong? Not that I’m not used to spending some time in the brig, but ...”
“What’s there to go wrong? We’re not breaking into a high security facility, it’s just a plain hotel room. The brig is going to have to wait a bit longer for your next visit. Now let’s go.”
Half an hour later they stood in Zarek’s hotel room. Despite his words, Lee had been surprised how easily they had gotten in. He had expected at least one or two guards in front of Zarek’s room. Apparently Zarek had no idea how far Roslin would go to stop him.
It didn’t take them long to bug his phone and some other places in the living room. Lee was just about to pack their things together and leave the room again, when Kara stopped him.
“We should bug his bedroom too.”
“Why? I don’t think Zarek would discuss any important matters in his bedroom when he has a living room like this.” Lee stated, waving his arm around the luxurious room. Compared with his quarters this looked like a palace.
“Maybe he talks in his sleep. Come on.” Without waiting for a reply, Kara stepped into the bedroom. Sighing Lee followed her. She really had seen too many movies.
A few minutes later they had put the last bug under a lamp next to the bed when they heard someone entering the living room.
“Frak!” Kara cursed quietly. “What are we gonna do now?”
Lee quickly searched the room for some place to hide. “The closet.” He whispered.
“What? No way, I’m not going in there.” Kara hissed. “Maybe they’re not coming in here.”
In that moment they heard a woman’s voice coming from the living room. “And you’re sure Mr. Zarek won’t mind us using his bedroom?”
“This can’t be true.” Kara groaned while Lee dragged her into the closet. Seconds after they had closed the closet’s door, the two unexpected visitors stepped into the bedroom.
“Oh no, Zarek’s always watching out for his people. He won’t mind. What’s his is ours too.” A male voice answered the woman’s question.
Lee recognized the voice immediately from his time on the Astral Queen. This man had been on the bridge of the prisoner ship while Lee had been held hostage there. He even remembered his name – Meier.
Neither Meier nor the woman spoke much more for a while. They didn’t need to – though Lee and Kara couldn’t see what they were doing through the closed closet door, from the sounds coming from the bedroom, they could very well imagine.
“Tell me this isn’t happening.” Kara groaned.
“Sshht!” Lee hushed, though he didn’t think that either Meier or his girlfriend would hear a thing right now. Kara shot him an annoyed look, but she stayed quiet.
While involuntarily listening to the sounds from Meier and his girlfriend, Kara suddenly realized how close she stood to Lee. The closet wasn’t really big and she could actually feel his breath on her skin. She glanced in his direction, but Lee didn’t return the look. Instead his eyes wandered nervously everywhere around the closet but her.
“What’s wrong?” She whispered after a moment.
“Nothing.” Lee whispered back.
“Then why do you look so nervous?”
“I’m not ... Just stay quiet, will you? They’re gonna hear us.” He hissed.
Kara stayed quiet, but she didn’t think she could stay this close to Lee for much longer. Fortunately she didn’t have to.
After about 20 minutes they could hear Meier and the woman getting out of the bed and ready to leave.
“That’s it? We’re just going separate ways now?” They could hear the woman ask in a disappointed voice.
“Well, it was fun but I’m a busy man. Lots of things to do.” Meier replied evasively.
“Can I see you again?” Despite the short “fun” – Kara didn’t think that the woman got really satisfied in this time – she seemed reluctant to just let Meier go like this.
“I let you know when I’m on Cloud 9 again, all right?” Meier said harshly.
After that there was silence and a few moments later Kara and Lee heard the bedroom door being shut. They waited a few minutes and when they didn’t hear anything else they quietly stepped out of the closet.
“In and out – that must have been his plan too.” Kara said grinning.
“Let’s just get out of here; I’m not looking forward to a repeat.” Lee groaned.
Grinning Kara followed him out.
“So, what are we gonna do now?” She asked after they had left the hotel. She had thought about another break in the park. Enjoying the sun and lying on the grass really sounded tempting right now after standing in that closet for so long.
“The meeting has already begun. We go to the auditorium and take our places.” Lee replied.
“Great.” Kara groaned. When was this ever in her job description?
When they had arrived in the auditorium, Lee had to walk by Zarek to get to his place from where he would watch the meeting and look out for any suspects. When he had reached Zarek, he took the chance and leaned down to him.
“Hi, how are you doing? Remember me? We got Valance and you’re next.” He whispered into Zarek’s ear. It felt good to see the surprise in Zarek’s face. Before he could respond, Lee had walked away.
The meeting seemed to take forever and Lee and Kara had to wait until every member of the Quorum and its delegation had returned safely to their rooms in one of the hotels or to their ships before they could themselves return to Galactica.
“Gods, I thought this day would never end.” Kara sighed when they walked down the corridor to their quarters.
“It’s only one more day. Then we’ll have a few months until the next election.” Lee replied tiredly. It really had been a long day.
“Hopefully they have a security force built up by then. I’m a pilot, not a security officer. The closet incident was rather fun, though.” Kara grinned.
“Don’t remind me, please. I’m trying hard to forget that.” Lee had stopped walking when they had reached the spot where they would have to take different corridors. “Are you up for running again?”
“Cottle cleared me this morning. Didn’t I tell you? Your times as a lonely runner are over.” She said with a big grin on her face. “We might have to start slowly though.”
“No problem.” Lee smiled. He had missed their morning jogs together. “I’ll pick you up at 05.00 hours.”
“That’s not even four hours of sleep.” Kara complained.
“Good night, Kara.” Lee replied grinning, ignoring her remark. He knew she was looking forward to it too.
Quietly Lee stepped into his quarters. He was relieved to find the lights turned off. Ever since finding Alicia after her suicide attempt, he got a creepy feeling when he entered his quarters. He checked on his daughter who slept peacefully in her bed. Seeing her like this always put a smile on his face and made him forget all the bad things that happened during the day, at least for a few minutes.
When he had gotten out of his uniform, he quietly climbed into bed, careful not to wake his wife. He listened to her regular breathing for a while before he allowed himself to close his eyes. That was another thing he started doing after Alicia’s suicide attempt. He needed to make sure she was all right before he could relax and fall asleep. He put his arm around her and – even though still asleep – she snuggled close to him. He held her tightly to him, finally able to let the tension of the day leave him and eventually he fell asleep.
He had been standing real close to Kara for several minutes now. There wasn’t much space in the closet and he could feel her skin on his. He could feel his body reacting to being so close to her. He tried to control his breathing. He looked in every corner of this closet, everywhere but her. If he would look at her, he didn’t know what he would do. He could feel her green eyes looking at him.
“What’s wrong?” She asked.
Nothing, he wanted to say. But the words just wouldn’t leave his mouth. He didn’t want to lie to her anymore. He didn’t want to lie to himself anymore. He finally looked at her. He knew that had been a mistake. He leaned his head down to her and without really knowing what he was doing he kissed her. It felt so right and not at all like a mistake. And she was returning the kiss. He could feel she was surprised at first but she didn’t pull away. This was the best kiss in his whole life and he wished it would never end. He could have stayed like this forever ... until the alarms starting ringing.
Startled Lee woke in his bed and turned off his morning alarm.
“Frak.” He mumbled. What had that been? He hadn’t had such dreams of Kara since ... since a very long time.
“What’s wrong?” Alicia mumbled.
“Nothing.” Lee said quickly and jumped out of bed. He needed a cold shower before he would pick up Kara for their morning run.
This day turned out to be even worse than the last. Valance had been found dead. Everything pointed towards suicide, but no one really believed that. They were convinced that Zarek had something to do with it, but they couldn’t prove it. Even though they had bugged his room, they had found no evidence connecting him to Valance.
After long hours of watching over the Quorum meeting and getting over the fact that Roslin had announced Gaius Baltar to be her candidate for Vice President, Lee and Kara’s duty as security officers was finally over. They had actually some free time now before they had to attend to the festivities on Cloud 9 and they took that chance to grab something to eat in the mess hall.
“We should put Zarek back in his cell and throw the key out of the next airlock.” Kara said frustrated. “Or we just put a hole in his head.”
“Can’t do that.” Lee said after taking a sip of his coffee.
“So what are we supposed to do? Sit on our hands and watch him kill the President?”
“Zarek’s too smart to take another shot at the President during the summit. If he wins the vote, he can take her out later when everyone’s forgotten about Valance. Just bide his time to find a better opportunity.” Lee knew that Zarek didn’t even have to take a shot at the President. Roslin’s cancer would do that for him. He still hoped Cottle would come up with something, but he knew that she didn’t have much time left. She got weaker with every day, even though she was good at hiding it.
“That’s great.” Starbuck said cynically.
“Anyway, she says she’s not gonna lose the votes.” Lee said, hoping it was truth. Even though he disagreed with her new choice of Vice President, Baltar was still better than Zarek.
“She says a lot of things.” Kara smirked. It was so typical for Lee to believe every word this woman was telling him. When did he get such a faith in her? He usually never trusts anyone easily, she could tell that from experience.
They continued eating their meal in silence for a while. They didn’t often get to share dinner like this, without interruption.
“Don’t you think you should wash that?” Lee asked after a while, pointing at quite an old looking stain on Kara’s uniform. Throughout the dinner memories of his dream last night had flashed through his mind and staying silent, being alone with Kara once again, wasn’t helping to push this thought away. Teasing her was always helping getting his mind off anything.
“I did.”
“Like when, a month ago?” Lee joked.
“Do you have a problem with my hygiene?” Kara asked defiantly.
“You have hygiene?”
“I clean up good sometimes, all right?” Kara knew that Lee was only joking, but it still hurt. He didn’t have to remind her that he just saw her as a buddy – she knew that just too well. She only had to take a look at his perfect little family. Surely he would never pull a joke like this with Alicia.
“Well, let me know when it’s one of those times.” Lee said grinning.
She would show him.
The festivities for Colonial Day had already started half an hour ago and the Adama family was running late. Nia had decided in the last minute that she didn’t want to spend the night in Mathilda’s room and it had taken both her parents’ powers of persuasion to get her to stay with Mathilda after all.
When Lee and Alicia finally stepped onto the hangar deck, Lee hoped the last shuttle for Cloud 9 hadn’t left yet. They were lucky – it was still waiting. They had almost reached the shuttle, when Alicia came to a sudden stop.
“What’s wrong?” Lee asked confused. “Don’t tell me you forgot something. This shuttle isn’t going to wait forever.”
“I ... I can’t ...” Alicia stammered.
“What? You can’t what, Ali?”
“I can’t go to Cloud 9.” She whispered, not looking at Lee.
“Why not?” Lee had absolutely no idea what was bothering his wife.
“It’s ... I can still feel the vibrations of the last two explosions on Galactica. If something happens ... If those bombs had gone off on any other ship, I don’t think we would have made it alive out of it. ... It’s just safer on Galactica. Just thinking of leaving this ship ... I feel like I can’t breathe.” Alicia said, tears brimming in her eyes. “And Nia ... I know I’m not the best mother ...”
“Ali ...”
“When something happens here and neither of us is near her, than ... I just can’t go, I’m sorry.”
“So, you never want to leave this ship again?” Lee regretted his words as soon as they had left his mouth. “Sorry. If you don’t want to go, then we don’t go. It’s okay.”
“No. No, you go. I know I’m being pathetic and that nothing will happen.” She paused and took a deep breath. “I promised your father that you would come to this party. He already suspected you’d try to find a reason to avoid going there. I don’t want to be that reason.” She looked at him pleadingly. She hated to be so weak. Why couldn’t she just go on that frakking shuttle? But just thinking about it made her freeze.
“I don’t know.” Lee said hesitantly.
“Go.” Gently Alicia pushed him towards the waiting shuttle.
“You sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine, really. Don’t worry. I’ll enjoy an evening for my own, take a long, hot shower and ...” A smile spread over her face. “ ... wait for you to come home.”
“Okay.” Lee gave her a kiss and reluctantly went to the shuttle.
On his way over to Cloud 9 he kept thinking about Alicia. Her behavior was probably understandable considering everything that happened the past few weeks, but with her history he didn’t think he would ever stop worrying about her.
He stopped worrying the second his eyes fell on Kara. She stood at the bar, dressed in a beautiful blue dress. She looked amazing. Seeing her like this pushed all his thoughts about Alicia out of his mind. Slowly he walked towards her, taking in every sight of her.
“So uhm ...” He stammered when he had reached her, not knowing what to say. “That bum knee of yours is looking pretty good.” He mentally kicked himself. Why was he talking about her knee? “And the other one’s not too bad either.” He groaned inwardly. Somehow his brain must have stopped working at seeing Kara like this.
Kara just smiled at Lee’s stammering. She had seldom seen him at a loss for words. She had wanted to prove to him that she could dress up fine. She had never expected him to react like this.
“Lee, if you want to ask me to dance, just ask.” As soon as she had spoken the words, she cursed herself. Lee was here with his wife, so why would he want to dance with her? Alicia probably looked ten times better than her.
“You want to dance?” Lee asked, holding his hand. Hesitantly Kara accepted. She just couldn’t believe this was happening. She had never danced with Lee before.
“Me in a dress is a once in a lifetime opportunity.” She said joking, trying to hide her insecurity.
They danced in silence. Kara thought about asking where Alicia was, but she didn’t want to ruin this moment. Dancing with Lee felt like they never did anything else in their lives. There was no place for Alicia right now. It was just her and Lee. Not Starbuck and Apollo. They were simply Kara and Lee. Dancing together. Smiling she leaned her head on Lee’s shoulder.
“May I cut in?”
Surprised Kara turned around, looking at Gaius Baltar, their new Vice President and probably the slimiest person she had ever met. She was just about to give a smug reply, when she heard Lee.
“Of course.”
He let go of her and before she knew what was happening, she found herself in the arms of Baltar. She could do nothing but watch Lee walk through the dancing couples until she lost sight of him. Just like that he had left her.
Two songs later she was still dancing with Baltar. She had thought about ending it with this song, when she saw Lee standing at the bar, talking with Racetrack. Laughing with Racetrack. He didn’t look sad at all that he wasn’t dancing with her anymore. Of course he wasn’t, he didn’t need her. He was happily married. This dance hadn’t meant anything to him.
When Baltar asked her for the next dance, she agreed.
Lee didn’t stay at the party for long. It hurt more than he was willing to admit to see Kara dancing with Baltar. He had tried to get his mind off of Kara with listening to some fun story Racetrack was telling him. It wasn’t working. He let out a laugh from time to time, but he wasn’t really aware of what she was saying. If he didn’t know better, he’d say he was jealous. But that was ridiculous. Kara was his friend. She was Zak’s fiancée. He should be happy for her. She looked like she was having fun. Granted, Baltar probably wasn’t her wisest choice, but who was he to tell her who she could have fun with.
When he returned to Galactica, he found his wife still awake. She was lying in their bed, reading a book his father had given her.
“You’re back early.” She said, putting away the book.
“It wasn’t the same without you.” He mumbled as he climbed into bed.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” She said quietly. She put his arms around him and laid her head on his chest.
“You’re here now.” He replied, holding her close to him. At the same time he tried desperately to push the thoughts of Kara out of his mind.
This night was the first time since he was married that he thought about Kara while sleeping with his wife.
Chapter 15
Smiling, Alicia watched Lee getting dressed. He looked tired and hadn’t said much so far, but after last night that didn’t surprise her. He never spoke much when he didn’t get much sleep. And last night he had hardly slept at all. Still smiling, Alicia got up and walked to her husband. He was standing with his back to her when she pulled her arms around his waist.
“Last night was wonderful.” She whispered, kissing his neck.
Lee tensed for a moment, then he slowly turned around to her.
“You’re wonderful,” he smiled.
Alicia looked at him thoughtfully. Something about him seemed wrong, like there was something bothering him. “Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, sure. Why do you ask?” He had pulled out of her embrace and put on his shirt.
“I don’t know. You ... you look sad.” Alicia was surprised at her own words, but it was true – he looked sad. Even though his lips were smiling, his eyes weren’t.
“Why would I be sad?” Lee asked. He wrapped his arms around her again and pulled her close. “I have a wonderful wife, a genius daughter ...”
“Genius?” Alicia chuckled.
“Yes, genius.” Lee grinned. “And last night we had the best sex since .... well, for a long time. I’m probably the happiest man on this ship right now.”
Before Alicia could reply anything, Lee cupped her face with his hands and gave her a long kiss.
“I gotta go.” He said when he pulled away again. “I don’t want to let Dad wait.”
“You’re going to a meeting with your father like this?” Alicia pointed at the casual clothes he was wearing.
“It’s not an official meeting. Just some father and son sparring.” Lee replied.
“Don’t be too hard on him.” Alicia gave him another kiss before he left. When the hatch closed behind him, Alicia thought back to the sad look in his eyes. Maybe she had just imagined it. He didn’t act like someone who was sad about something. Maybe he was just tired. Yes, that must be it, he was just tired.
Smiling she thought about her husband and her father-in-law. They had come a long way. Only a few months ago Lee wouldn’t even talk to him and now they were sparring together. She wished Caroline would have lived to see this. She had always hoped Lee would reconcile with his father again and now it had finally happened. It had just taken the end of the world for them to talk again.
Lee let out a deep breath after he had closed the hatch behind him. He wondered when he had learned to hide the truth from his wife. She had always been able to tell his lies and now ... He had just lied right to her face and she hadn’t even noticed. He hadn’t lied to her about being in love with her. It hadn’t even been a real lie when he had told her that he wasn’t sad. But he wasn’t really happy either. If he only knew why. He had every reason to be happy. He still had his family and that was more than most people in the fleet had. He loved his daughter and he loved his wife. But then there was also Kara. Gods, last night he just couldn’t stop thinking about her. He could still feel her in his arms, dancing close to him. When he had been with Alicia, for a few times, when he had his eyes closed, he had even thought it was Kara with him, not his wife. It had only been for a second, but that didn’t make it any better. He had been unfaithful to his wife, even if it had been just in his thoughts.
“Looks like you’re in the right mood for this.” Adama greeted his son when he saw him stepping into the gym.
“Let’s just get started.” Lee said. He didn’t feel like talking right now.
“Everything all right at home?” Adama asked when he threw the boxing gloves towards Lee.
“Yes, everything’s perfect.”
Adama knew Lee was lying. First of all, nothing is ever perfect in a marriage, not in real life. And secondly, Lee looked as if something was bothering him. But he decided not to push the matter at the moment. It would be useless anyway. He knew his son well enough to know that if he didn’t want to talk about something, no one in the twelve colonies would get him to talk.
Neither of them said anything else as they started sparring. They were throwing some punches, never really hitting the other one.
“I missed Alicia last night.” Adama said. “Not that you and Kara weren’t a nice couple either.” He added smiling. At that moment Lee’s fist hit him right in the stomach. Grunting Adama doubled over in pain, but he got up quickly. He wasn’t going to show any weakness in front of his son.
“You all right?” Lee asked, almost apologetic.
Adama only nodded in response. When had he become so old that people felt they should apologize when they hit him during sparing? Well, he would show his son he wasn’t that old yet.
A few minutes later Lee hit him again. This time right in the face. Adama almost expected him to apologize again, but this time Lee stayed quiet. They threw a couple of more punches until Adama saw his chance. When his fist connected with Lee’s face, he hadn’t even seen it coming.
“You all right?” Adama asked grinning.
Alicia and Layne had met in the mess hall for breakfast. It had become their morning ritual when they didn’t have an early shift. Sometimes Lee or John, Layne’s boyfriend, would join them, but mostly it was just them and Nia.
“I didn’t see you on Cloud 9 yesterday. You missed quite a party.” Layne said after taking a sip of coffee.
“I know. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I ... wasn’t feeling so well. But Lee and I had our own special party when he came back.” Alicia added grinning.
“That explains the constant smile on your face this morning.” Layne laughed. She had never seen her friend smiling that much in the few weeks she knew her. “So, Lee made up for going to Cloud 9 without you?”
“He didn’t have to make up for it. I made him go there alone. I didn’t want him to miss the party just because I wasn’t feeling well. He doesn’t get much time off from duty, he deserved it. And he came back very relaxed.” Grinning she held her hands on her daughter’s ear. “Last night we had the best sex ever.” She whispered. Then she blushed and moved her hands in front of her face. “Gods, I can’t believe I just said that aloud.” She laughed.
“Maybe I should send John to the next party alone too.” Layne grinned. “Though I can’t imagine a better ending for last night as we had.” Now it was Layne’s turn to smile all over her face. “He proposed to me.”
“Oh my gods, Layne, that’s wonderful. Congratulations. You said yes, right?”
“Of course I did. I waited long enough for him to ask me.” Layne laughed.
“I’m so happy for you. Have you decided on a date yet?”
“No, but it will be soon. It’s not like there is much to prepare. I just need to find a nice dress and a priest. And a bridesmaid of course. Interested?” Layne asked smiling.
“You want me to be your bridesmaid? Of course I’m interested.” Alicia replied happily. “I don’t know if I can help you with the dress, but I know a priestess for you. I’m sure she would be delighted to hold the ceremony.”
“That’s great, Alicia, thanks. And for the dress, well, I thought I might just ask Starbuck. She was wearing a beautiful blue dress last night, it looked perfect. Oh, and maybe your husband could give John some dancing lessons. He’s a terrible dancer. When I saw Lee with Starbuck last night, I really envied you.”
“I doubt Lee will agree to give dancing lessons.” Alicia laughed. Then she realized what Layne had just said. “Lee danced with Kara?”
Layne bit her lip. Why couldn’t she have kept her mouth shut? She knew how Alicia felt about Starbuck. “It was just this one dance, really.” She said quickly. “After that Starbuck enjoyed herself with Baltar for all I know.”
Alicia nodded slowly and forced herself to smile. Lee and Kara were friends, she told herself for the hundredth time. It was no big deal that they had danced together this one time. But she couldn’t even remember the last time Lee had danced with her.
“You don’t lose control.” Adama said when he pulled of his boxing gloves.
“Thanks.” Lee said surprised. He wasn’t used to getting compliments from his father.
“No.” Adama shook his head. “You got to lose control. Let your instincts take over.”
“I thought we were just sparring.”
“That’s why you don’t win.” Adama replied quietly. Then he slowly walked away. He felt utterly exhausted. Maybe he was getting too old for sparring with his son.
Lee closed his eyes. He should have known his father would find some way to lecture him. But on this? All his life he had tried to learn to keep his control so he would become the perfect soldier his father wanted him to be. And now he was telling him that this was all wrong.
After the sparring with his father Lee had planned to catch up on some paperwork. But when he walked by the rec room, Crashdown called for him.
“Hey Apollo, we need another man for triad. You’re in?”
Lee hesitated a moment He knew he should do his paperwork, but playing triad sounded a lot more interesting right now. And he’d still have plenty of time to write his reports afterwards. Technically his shift hadn’t even started yet. Follow your instincts, he thought grinning.
“Yeah, I’m in.” He replied. His father would just have to wait a bit longer for his reports.
When he stepped into the rec room, he saw Crashdown, Dee, Gaeta and Baltar sitting at the table in the middle of the room. He took a seat next to Crashdown and they began playing. He didn’t have much luck today though. Baltar was winning every round. Considering he was already visibly drunk at this hour, that was rather surprising. Lee wondered if he could even read his cards right anymore.
“I’m out.” Frustrated Gaeta threw his cards on the table.
“It’s not your turn.” Lee reminded him laughing. Gaeta had gotten the worst cards throughout the game.
“Frankly, I don’t care.” Gaeta replied. He had already lost most of his cubits. Lucky for him, cubits weren’t worth much anymore anyway.
They played on a bit more and talked about Crashdown’s latest love affair with Ensign Davies. Lee wasn’t particularly interested in any love themes right now. His own love life was enough to keep him busy. So he tried to get the attention back on the game.
“All right, 20 I call and I raise you another 30.” He said, holding Baltar’s last raise.
“You can’t compete with me! I always win.” Baltar glared at him angrily.
“Well, I’m sorry.” Lee chuckled. The Vice President was starting to take this game a bit too serious.
“So sorry to disappoint you.” Baltar mumbled a moment later. When everyone shot him awkward looks, he quickly added. “Disappoint you all. 30 ...” He threw a few cubits on the table. “... and I call it. So?”
“All right, what you got boys?” Gaeta asked excited. As much as he admired Dr. Baltar, he hoped that at least once someone else would win.
One after the other they put their cards on the table. And once again Baltar had the best hand.
“Ahh no! Every time you win!” Crashdown called out frustrated.
“Every time!” Dualla agreed as frustrated.
“Sorry, I have to do it, I ... sorry, very sorry to disappoint you.” Baltar said grinning as he collected his winnings. When a few cubits fell on the floor, he ducked under the table to pick them up.
“What, there’s a card game and no one told me?” Kara called out when she stepped into the rec room at this moment. Seeing her standing next to him, Lee’s thoughts immediately went back to last night and not just to their dance.
“She’s back on her feet, ladies and gentlemen.” Crashdown announced jokingly.
Lee didn’t have to ask what he was referring to. Kara still looked hangover. She must have really enjoyed last night’s party.
“How are you feeling?” He asked sympathetically.
“Good.” Kara replied quietly. Then she saw Baltar coming up from under the table. “Hey ... Gaius.”
Baltar glared at her angrily. “Mr. Vice President, if you don’t mind, Lt. Thrace. Some level of decorum has to be maintained after all or is it a pirate ship you’re running?”
“No, just a Battlestar, Sir.” Kara threw him a strange look that Lee couldn’t quite place.
“Right, let’s play.” Gaeta cut in, unaware of the tension between the two. He only had time for one more round and this was the last chance today to beat Baltar.
“Would you like to play?” Baltar still glared angrily at Kara. “Maybe you’d like to sit next to Captain Adama.”
“Sure Kara, why don’t you pull a pew?”
“No, it’s okay Lee. I got things to do.” She hardly took her eyes of Baltar when she spoke.
And suddenly Lee understood. Kara would never miss a card game, not without a good reason. And Baltar’s strange behavior all this time ... she had spent the night with him. She had slept with him and had walked away like she always did when she was done with someone. She had danced with him and than she had went right on to Baltar. Their dance had meant nothing to her. This shouldn’t even surprise him. Kara had never wanted him to be more than a friend. Why should that change now? And why did this bother him so much? He should be relieved. Whatever he thought had been between them last night, had only been in his imagination. He should forget about it. He should concentrate on what he had. His family. His wife whom he loved deeply and, most importantly, who loved him too. But when it came to Kara Thrace, it was never easy to concentrate on the right things.
After the card game Lee wanted to go directly to his office. He knew he should go to his office and start writing his reports. But instead he found himself on the hangar deck – walking straight towards Kara who was working on the raider.
“Going hunting?” He asked as he reached her.
“I’m adding a gunnery run to the jump test tomorrow, see if our boy here can shoot anything with our ammo.” Kara explained without looking up.
“So it’s a boy now.”
“Changed my mind.” She shrugged.
“You ever wonder why everyone calls it a she but to you it’s a he?” Lee had no idea why he kept pounding on that matter. He didn’t come here to talk about the raider.
“It’s fascinating Lee, you should write a paper.” Kara smirked. She wished Lee would just leave again. She couldn’t talk to him now. She knew he knew about Baltar. She had seen it in his eyes when the realization had hit him. He had been hurt. Once again she had hurt him with her actions even though she had promised herself to never hurt him again. But then again, why was he hurt about it anyway? He was married. Why should he care who she slept with. He didn’t even care who she danced with.
“Well, it’s not really my scene. I’m not as smart as, say, uhm ... Dr. Baltar. How is the Vice President by the way?” Lee bit his lip. This was probably not the best way to start this conversation.
Kara froze for a second before she continued working on the raider. “I don’t know, I haven’t seen him.”
“So he’s a love them and leave them kinda guy, I guess.” Like he had been so many years ago. With the only difference that they had stayed friend afterwards.
“I guess.” Kara shrugged.
“Ships that just pass in the night.” Lee shook his head. Her attitude angered him. She didn’t even bother to look up when she talked to him.
“Yup.” Kara did her best to keep her eyes on the raider. She couldn’t look at him now. She could barely talk to him. Frakking Baltar, why couldn’t he have kept his mouth shut? Lee would have never found out.
“Didn’t mean a thing?” Just like their dance hadn’t mean a thing, he thought bitterly.
“Nope.” It had meant a lot because it was his name she had called out, not Baltar’s.
“Just bored, something to do. So frakking the Vice President of the colonies just seemed like a great way to waste some time.” Lee was getting angrier every second. Why wouldn’t she even look at him? The way he was talking to her, she should be yelling in his face to stop behaving like an idiot. But instead she never took her eyes of that raider.
“You want something from me?” Kara was also starting to get angry now. He had no right to talk to her like this.
I want you to look at me, Lee thought desperately. But he never said it. “Not a thing.”
“’Cause I don’t owe you anything. You’re married, remember?”
“What does that have to do with this?”
Kara closed her eyes for a moment. It had everything to do with this. “Nothing.”
“No, you don’t owe me anything, ’cause I’m just a CAG and you’re just a pilot.” Lee repeated the words Kara had thrown at him so many weeks ago. At the time he had thought it had been just the stress that had made her say it. That she didn’t mean it. The Cylons had kept attacking every 33 minutes and they all had been tired and had said things they didn’t mean. But he wasn’t so sure about that anymore. Maybe she really had enough of their friendship.
No, you frakking idiot, you’re everything to me, Kara thought desperately. But she could never tell him that. “Right.”
“Pilot who can’t keep her pants on.” Lee said furious.
“Right.” Kara did her best to swallow down the tears in her eyes. That’s not how she wanted Lee to see her. Gods, why couldn’t she have just walked away from Baltar last night. She didn’t even like him. He had just been ... a substitute. But she could never tell that to Lee either.
“Oh, it’s just like old times, Kara. Like when you got drunk and you couldn’t keep your hands of that major from wherever ...”
Lee never got to finish his sentence. Kara’s fist hit him hard on his jaw. Without thinking about it he raised his arm and punched her right back. They both stood still for a moment, shocked about what had just happened. Finally Kara turned away from him.
“Why’d you do it Kara? Why him? Just tell me why.” He needed to know if it was him that had driven her to Baltar.
He sounded so desperate, that it brought back the tears in Kara’s eyes. Gods, why was he doing this to her? Didn’t he understand that she wasn’t good for him? “’Cause I’m a screw-up, Lee. Try and keep that in mind.” She didn’t look at him as she spoke. She didn’t want him to see the tears. She didn’t want him to realize that she had only slept with Baltar because she couldn’t have him.
Alicia was almost done with her shift, when a deckhand entered sickbay. He was bleeding from a wound on his arm and even though he was trying to stop the bleeding with a cloth he had pressed on the wound, there was still some blood dripping on the floor.
“Layne, could you take a look at this?” She called for her friend. Then she smiled at their new patient and directed him to a near bed. When she saw that Layne was on her way over, she began wiping up the blood from the floor.
“This looks pretty deep. How did it happen?” She could hear Layne ask the man.
“I got distracted and cut myself. It was stupid.”
“What distracted you? A naked woman walking by?” Layne teased him.
“I wish. Though this was almost as worth it. The CAG hit Starbuck. Of course, she hit him first, right on the jaw, so she deserved it, I guess. I don’t know what they were arguing about, but it must have been something personal. Starbuck was even crying. Well, at least I saw her wiping away some tears when Apollo walked away. Can you imagine Starbuck crying? I swear, if the CAG wasn’t married, you’d think that he and ... Ow, what did you do that for?” He called out in pain and pulled back his arm.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I slipped.” Layne ignored his accusatory glare and looked over to Alicia. She hoped she hadn’t heard anything.
Alicia knelt frozen on the floor and stared at the injured man. She had heard every word.
Alicia had anxiously waited for the end of her shift. She needed to talk to Lee. She needed to know what had happened between him and Kara. She had been looking for him for almost half an hour when she saw him stepping out of the briefing room.
“Lee.” She called for him.
Surprised, Lee turned around. There were two bruises clearly visible on his face. “Hi.”
“Hey, uhm ...” Now that she had finally found him, Alicia didn’t know how to start. She didn’t want to fight with him again. Not today, not after last night had been so wonderful. Maybe there was a very good reason why he had fought with Kara and it had nothing to do with ... If she’d just give him the chance to explain everything ... “Those bruises look like they’re hurting.”
“Hm? Oh no, it’s not that bad, don’t worry.” Lee swallowed, not really looking at her.
“So your father actually managed to hit you twice while sparring? Who would have thought ...” She forced herself to let out a small laugh.
“Uhm yeah, he did.” Lee said quickly. “Listen, I don’t have much time. There’s this mission coming up and ... uhm, well, you know how it is. I see you tonight, okay?” He gave her a small smile and left.
Alicia stood frozen and stared at his retreating back. He had just lied to her. Why would he lie about something like this? He could have just told her about the fight with Kara. There was only one reason she could think of why he didn’t want her to know about it.
"He lied to me." Frozen Alicia stood in front of her friend. She still couldn't believe that Lee hadn't told her the truth about his fight with Kara.
"What?" Surprised Layne looked up. When she saw the pale appearance of her friend, she grabbed her arm and pulled her into the next empty room. "What happened?"
"I asked him about the bruises and he said his father hit him twice."
"Why would the Commander hit his son?" Layne asked dumbfounded.
"They were sparring this morning. Gods, Layne, he didn't even look me in the eye when we talked. He's having an affair with her, I know it."
"Now, don't jump to conclusions. You don't know what happened. You don't even know what they were fighting about. Maybe ... maybe they were just arguing about ... something they disagree about." Layne knew she sounded lame, but she couldn't think of anything else right now.
"Lee wouldn't just hit her without a reason."
"She hit him first, remember?"
"Yes, and she cried. Have you ever seen Starbuck crying? Gods, she didn’t even cry at her fiancé's funeral." Alicia called out desperately.
"I'm sure she cried then, she just didn’t do it in front of all the people." Layne took a deep breath before she continued. "All right, let's just assume he is having an affair with her... and I'm not saying he is, this is just hypothetically. If he has an affair with Starbuck and they fought about something that made her cry, it's more than likely that he ended it. Why else would she cry? You said yourself that last night was something special between you and him. So he realized how much he loves you and ended it."
"He danced with her."
"And she danced with Baltar. You're saying she's having an affair with him too?"
"No, of course not. Not even Kara would sink that low." Frustrated, Alicia threw her hands in the air. "So, what now? Am I supposed to accept that my husband had an affair and just live with it?"
"Maybe you should talk to him about it openly. Just ask him what happened and ..."
"I can't do that." Alicia interrupted her frustrated. "I promised him I wouldn't be jealous of Kara anymore. I already accused him of having an affair with her before. If I'm wrong, then he would never forgive me and it would be worse than before." Sighing Alicia sagged on a chair and put her head in her hands. "What am I supposed to do now?"
Layne didn't know what to say. What would she do if she'd discovered that John had secrets from her? An affair even? "If it's really over between him and Kara, would you be able to forgive him?" She asked quietly after a few minutes.
Alicia looked up and thought about that question. Could she forgive him? If she didn't, than their marriage was over, that was for sure. And she knew she couldn't live without him. "Yes, I would."
"Well than, don't do anything. If he really loves you and it's over between them, than you don't have anything to worry about."
"And if he doesn't love me anymore?" Alicia whispered.
"You're his wife. Wouldn't you know if he still loves you or not? Especially after last night?"
Alicia nodded slowly. Layne was right. Last night had been special for her and for Lee. He couldn't have just pretended all that. He still loved her. So she would just forget about all this and live on like nothing ever happened.
Lee hadn't talked to either Alicia or Kara again for the rest of the day. He had been busy getting the raptor teams ready for the mission for Kobol, had visited Boomer in sickbay after she had accidentally shot herself while cleaning her gun and had hidden in his office so he wouldn't run into his wife or best friend ... or former best friend; after today he wasn’t sure if they were still friends at all. He really didn't feel like talking to her right now. It would just end up in another fight. And he couldn't talk to Alicia because he was just too afraid that she would see right through his facade and realize what was going on. He still felt bad because he had lied to her. Somehow he would have to make up for it.
He didn't get a chance to think more about it as he was called to CIC. When he arrived there, he learned that the Raptor teams had run into Cylons in the orbit of Kobol. Only one raptor had made it back to Galactica. Now he was in his father's quarters together with Colonel Tigh and President Roslin discussing the situation.
"How many did we lose?" Roslin inquired.
"Ten souls aboard Raptor three. Raptor one, last visual contact was seen under powered flight, heading toward the surface." Lee replied quietly. He tried to keep up his warrior demeanor, which wasn't easy at this point. He might not have known any of the people on those raptors for long, but he knew each of them never the less. He had learned to respect all of them and some of them even had started to become his friends.
"We need a way to take out the basestar before we can attempt a rescue." Adama said determinedly. Once again Lee admired him for making something almost impossible sound like it was the easiest thing in the world.
"Starbuck's already working on a plan using the captured raider to get a nuke into the basestar." Tigh informed them.
"The raider?" Roslin asked worried.
"When ...when did this happen?" Lee asked surprised. He was the CAG; if one of his pilots had an idea how to destroy the basestar, they should have come to him. Starbuck included, no matter what differences they had at the moment. He couldn’t believe she went to Tigh of all people instead of talking to him.
"About ten minutes ago. She said she's working on the details and will have a report at 1400." Tigh explained. The surprised look on the CAG's face didn't go unnoticed by him. He had been as surprised when Starbuck had come to him with her plan. So the rumors about their little fist fight on the hangar deck must be true.
"Go talk to Starbuck right away." Adama ordered his son.
"My pleasure." Lee replied, the anger clearly audible in his voice.
"And report back to me." Adama added. He too had noticed Lee's surprise and he had heard the rumors. He wondered what had happened between his son and Kara. Everything had been all right between them last night.
"Yes, sir." Lee saluted and left the room.
After the meeting in his father's office, Lee went directly back to the Hangar Deck. He knew that's where he would find Kara.
"Lt. Thrace, attention!" Lee called out as soon as he had reached her. Kara chose to ignore his order and instead took a long sip from her water bottle. This only increased his anger and he grabbed the bottle out of her hand. "Lt. Thrace, I gave you a command. You will obey it. Attention!"
Finally Kara came to attention, standing right in front of Lee. She could practically feel the anger radiating from him. She knew that going to Tigh would make him angry, but at the time she just couldn't get herself to go to him. She had never imagined he would be this angry though.
"You do not take your harebrained ideas to the X.O. without going through me first, do you understand?" Lee said, hardly able to control the anger in his voice.
"Yes, sir."
They stared at each other for a long moment. Lee forced himself to exhale and regain his calm. "At ease, so what's the plan?"
"I'm putting an autopilot in the raider. Jump him to the basestar, engage the autopilot, punch out, get picked up by a raptor. The raider heads to the basestar.” Kara replied, not looking at Lee.
“Picks up the transponder, allows the raider to approach, nuke goes off.” Lee finished for her. When it came to mission planning, they had always been able to read each others minds.
“Boom, sir."
"Might work. Might get you killed." It was a typical Starbuck plan. Lee only wished she had never come up with it.
"Would you miss me, sir?" Kara suddenly asked quietly.
Her question took Lee by surprise. Of course he would miss her. He knew she was expecting him to give her their ritual reply. But he just couldn't do that. First of all, he was still mad at her and he didn't want her to think that he would let her off the hook so easily. And secondly ... If he'd admit how much he'd miss her, he might say something he would regret later. He might say something that he could never say to her, that he shouldn't even be thinking. So instead he decided to answer her as her CAG, not her friend or whatever they were at the moment. "I need every pilot I have. Even the screw-ups."
Lee's cold reply struck Kara to the core. This time she had really screwed up everything between them. When Lee walked away from her, she knew she couldn’t just end this conversation like this. "Captain...”
She waited until he turned around and looked at her again. “I'm really sorry."
Lee only looked at her for a second before he turned around again and left. He knew that was wrong. He should have just accepted her apology and leave that stupid fight behind them. No, he should have told her that there wasn't even something for her to apologize for. Well, maybe for going to Tigh first with her plan, but not because of that thing with Baltar. She didn't owe him an explanation for who she spent her time with. It was none of his business. He made a promise to himself to talk to her again once they had both calmed down. This whole thing had gotten out of hand somewhere along the way. He would talk to her right after that test flight with the raider later that day. They were both always more relaxed after spending some time in space. Especially if they spend that time flying together.
Two hours later Lee flew next to Kara, who was testing the raider.
“Apollo, Starbuck. I'm ready over here.” Kara told him over the comm.
“Okay, Starbuck, the board is green.”
“Copy that. Powering up for the autopilot test.”
Kara’s words for followed by a short silence. Lee was starting to wonder what took her so long as there were no signs that she had began with the test. Suddenly he saw that she was spinning up the raider’s FTL Drive.
“What are you doing, Kara?” Lee asked worried. The FTL Drive was not part of this plan.
He never received an answer. Instead he watched helplessly how the raider with Kara inside jumped away.
“Galactica/Apollo, she just jumped away. Repeat, Starbuck and the raider just jumped away.” Horrified Lee stared at the empty space where only seconds ago he had seen the raider. She had just … left. Kara was gone and he had no idea where she was now or if he would ever see her again.