Word Count:
89.046
Date:06/18/2006
Series: Season 1
Rating: T (on ff.net)
Category: AU
Pairing/Focus: Lee, Kara, Adama, others
Warnings:none
Summary:
Spoilers/Disclaimers:Season 1/ I own nothing related to Battlestar Galactica. The
characters and the universe of the Battlestar Galactica do not belong
to me. I make no profit from this story.
Chapter 16
Lee sat frozen in his viper and stared at the empty space in front of him. Kara was gone. Right now that was all he could think of. She was gone.
“Apollo, I repeat. Return to Galactica.” Dualla's voice pulled him out of his haze. From the sound of it she had tried to reach him for some time. “Apollo, please respond. You are ordered to return to Galactica.”
Lee hesitated a moment before he replied. He couldn't return to Galactica now. What if Kara came back and he wasn't there? He had to wait for her. She would jump back any second. But at the same moment he realized that she wouldn't come back. She was gone. “Copy that, Galactica.” He finally replied in a hoarse voice. He stared at the space in front of him for a moment longer before he flipped his viper around and flew back to Galactica. He needed to know what had happened. There had to be some explanation. Kara wouldn't have just jumped away without a good reason.
“Order the cap to isolate Colonial One.” Adama ordered him. “Mr. Gaeta.”
“Sir.”
“Jam any transmissions in or out of Colonial One immediately.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Prepare a strike team.” Adama had turned back to Tigh. “As long as she's President, she's dangerous and if she can turn Starbuck against us, she's capable of anything.”
"Yes, sir.” Tigh replied.
“She's bluffing.”
“Let's hope so. There's also a Cylon baseship out there to deal with.” Tigh grumbled.
“Leave that to me.” Adama replied determinedly.
Lee had listened to their conversation in shock. What they were talking about didn't make any sense. “What happened? Where did Ka … Starbuck jumped to?”
“Caprica.” Adama replied bitterly.
”What?” Lee stared at his father. Why in the gods' names would Kara jump to Caprica? There was nothing left there.
”The pres … Roslin told her to go. She used classified military information to coerce Kara on going on this mission.” Adama paused a moment to regain his composure. “As from this moment Roslin is no longer the President of the Colonies.”
“Have you talked to her yet?” Lee asked confused. None of this seemed real. Kara was gone. The President had send her back to a Cylon occupied planet and now his father wanted to terminate her presidency?
“She won't leave Colonial One, but we will get her off that ship at all cost.” Adama drew in a deep breath before he continued. “We'll send in a strike team to Colonial One and get her out of there and right in the brig where she belongs.”
“I know their security detail, they will defend that ship. We'll have to take her down compartment by compartment.” Lee said. He was acting on autopilot right now. He knew he wasn't thinking clearly. He couldn't believe that they were actually talking about boarding Colonial One. His mind told him that staging a coup like this was wrong. But Roslin had gone too far, he agreed on that with his father. She had taken Kara away from them … away from him. There was no chance that she would make it back from Caprica alive. There were Cylons everywhere. Not even she would be so lucky. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a few deep breaths. The last thing he had said to Kara had been in anger. And now he would never get a chance to apologize.
The strike team for Colonial One would leave in twenty minutes. As Tigh was taking care of the planning, Lee had some time to think about everything that had happened in quiet. He went back to his quarters to change out of his flight suit and get a quick shower. He knew he needed this time to calm down and think it all through.
“Daddy.” Nia called for him happily when she saw her father stepping into the room.
“Hi.” Alicia greeted him. “How did the test flight go?”
Lee only looked at her, not even registering the outstretched arms of his daughter and Alicia knew immediately that something had happened.
“What's wrong?”
“Kara is …” Lee closed his eyes for a moment. He couldn't talk about this with Alicia. Kara wasn't really her favorite topic. And how was he supposed to explain to her that they were going to stage a military coup in a few minutes? “I'll explain it later. I only have a few minutes and I really need to take a shower.”
Without saying anything else, Lee walked passed his wife and daughter and disappeared in the bathroom.
“Where's Kara?” Questioningly Nia looked at her mother after hearing her father saying Kara's name.
Alicia took a deep breath before she turned to her daughter. “Kara is not here, sweetheart. Why don't you keep painting?” She gave her another pencil and Nia, satisfied with that answer, turned her attention back to the sheet of paper in front of her.
Alicia watched her silently, not really seeing what her daughter was drawing. She couldn't forget the look in Lee's eyes. He had looked devastated. And it had something to do with Kara. Did he want to tell her about the affair? Gods, why couldn't this woman just disappear out of their lives. Then she could just forget about everything that happened and go on with her life.
The strike team had had no problems overcoming the security detail waiting for them on Colonial One. Now they stood in the Presidents office, guns drawn and pointing at the remaining agents, who looked determined to protect their president. They too had their guns drawn and pointed at the marines.
Lee stood next to Tigh. He hadn't drawn his gun yet. All the way over here he had thought about if this was right. They were staging a military coup. Gods, how could this ever be right? When he had heard about Roslin's order for Kara to jump back to Caprica, he had been more than willing to make her pay for that. The brig did seem like the best place for her then. But now … the more he thought about this, the more he knew how wrong this all was. The President had made a mistake. Well, he had made a lot more mistakes since coming onboard Galactica and so had his father. This was a mistake too. They couldn't just throw democracy out of the window simply because they didn't agree with the President. And this was happening more out of personal anger, not military reasoning. It was wrong.
”Madam President, no one needs to get hurt here.” He heard Tigh address Roslin.
“Then why don't you get off my ship, Colonel?” She replied quietly.
“I'm placing you under arrest.” It was evident that Tigh wouldn't back down. He would order the marines to open fire if Roslin wouldn't step down.
Lee knew he couldn't let this happen. His father's words echoed in his mind. Follow your instincts. “No... no, we're not doing this.”
He couldn't believe himself that he had just said those words out loud. He had never gone against orders his whole life. He had destroyed a civilian ship because that had been his orders and he had never thought about disobeying that order despite all his doubts if it had been the right decision. So why was he doing it now?
”I'm in command here, Captain.” Tigh glared at him angrily.
“Colonel, this is wrong!” Lee said even more determinedly. He had told both Roslin and his father once that he would protect the law. And this was going against everything he had been raised to believe in. His father had made this decision out of rage; Lee knew that Kara was like a daughter for him. He had been angry too. But anger wasn't the right reason for this. He had to put a stop to it. Slowly his hand moved to his sidearm.
“You're relieved, fall back! Madam President …” Gasping Tigh froze in his tracks. Lee had drawn his weapon and held it now right on Tigh's head.
“Men, lay down your weapons.” Lee ordered everyone in the room., hoping they would listen to him. They didn't.
“Have you lost your frakkin' mind?” Tigh hissed.
“Colonel, tell these marines to fall back.” Lee said more loudly.
“This is mutiny, you know that.” Tigh said through clenched teeth. He couldn't believe that William Adama's son would be capable of doing something like this. He was nothing like his father.
“Yes, I do.” Lee was surprised how calm he suddenly was. He had thought that committing mutiny would make him a bit more nervous. “But you can tell my father that I'm listening to my instincts and my instincts tell me that we cannot sacrifice our democracy just because the President makes a bad decision.”
Surprised Roslin had watched how Lee had pulled his weapon against Tigh. She would have never believed he would go against his father. For a second she had hoped that with his help they might have a chance to get out of here. But even if they got out, where would they go? They couldn't hide in the fleet forever ; Adama would eventually track them down. And this would ruin Lee's life . She couldn't let that happen.
“Put your guns down.” She said determinedly.
”Madam... Madam President, stand back.” Lee said, not taking his eyes off Tigh. They only had this one chance, he couldn't make a mistake.
“Put your gun down, Captain. I will not have blood shed, neither your men nor my people on the Colonial One.” Roslin said quietly. “Put your gun down, all of you. Please, put your gun down.”
Lee hesitated a moment, then he lowered his gun. It was over. Tigh quickly stepped to him and grabbed for his gun. “Let's go.”
“Secure those weapons.” One of the marines ordered.
”Let's go, Captain.” Another Marine went to Lee and handcuffed him.
After he was brought out of the room, Tigh and Roslin stared at each other for a moment. Roslin was determined to end this on her conditions. She wasn't going to be let out of her ship. ”Let's go.” She said quietly. Then she walked passed Tigh without looking at him and left the room.
Slowly Kara came back to consciousness. She felt hands holding her and a familiar voice talking to her. When she opened her eyes, the world seemed blurry. She saw a man in front of her, helping her get up from the dead body below her. At least she hoped it was a dead body ... she didn't think she was capable of another fight like she just went through. She forced her attention back on the man holding her ... he was wearing a flight suit. “Lee?” Her mouth formed his name, but her voice betrayed her.
“Okay, okay, come here. Okay.” The man spoke to her calmly.
That voice ... it wasn't Lee. She closed and opened her eyes a few times until her vision became sharper again. “Helo?” Again her voice was hardly audible. She cleared her throat.
“I can't believe it. You are like the last person I expected to see.” Helo said smiling.
“I could say the same thing about you.” This time her voice was more stable and the words actually left her mouth. She let out a relieved laugh at seeing her friend. For two months she had thought he was dead.
“You okay?” Helo asked. He too couldn't help but let out a relieved laugh.
Kara's only response was a cry of pain as he helped her to stand up. That was all the answer Helo needed. He didn't ask her again.
“Oh, I missed you.” Kara put her arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight embrace. That's when her eyes fell on another familiar face, standing a few feet above from where she was standing right now. This couldn't be ...
“Hey, I ...” Helo began. Then he noticed Kara pulling his gun out and raising it to shoot at something above them. Immediately he grabbed her arm and stopped her.
“She's a Cylon!” Kara screamed.
“No, no, no!” Helo tried to stop her. “You can't, you can't... she's pregnant.”
Again Kara let out a scream, then she sagged down, the shock over everything that happened the last few hours finally taking control of her. Crying she sat on the floor. This was all a big nightmare, it couldn't be real. She was on Caprica, the woman she had known for years was a Cylon, Lee hated her ... She had left everything behind, she had betrayed him and it was all for nothing ... And Lee and the Old Man were on Galactica and a Cylon was with them and there was nothing she could do to warn them. All she could do right now was sit on the floor in the destroyed Delphi Museum and cry.
Lee hadn't said much on the way back to Galactica. He had let them take off his uniform to search for any hidden weapons, than they had shackled him again. This was not exactly how his plan had been. Not that he really had a plan. It really just had been pure instinct that had made him raise his gun against Tigh. He had hoped his XO would back down and with some luck he would have gotten off of Colonial One with Roslin and hidden somewhere in the fleet. That really hadn't been much of a plan, but it might have worked if Roslin hadn't been the one to back down. He understood her reasons, but he still felt … he wasn't even sure what he felt. Disappointed? No, that wasn't it. Roslin had only tried to save lives with her decision. He had to respect that and it really wasn't anything to feel disappointed about. Anger? Maybe. She could have at least given it a try. She could have waited a bit longer before giving in to Tigh's order and sending them both on a straight path to the brig.
When he stepped out of the raptor on Galactica's hangar bay, he tried to ignore the curious and surprised glances everyone sent his way. It wasn't every day that they saw their CAG handcuffed and led away by marines. He expected they would bring him right to the brig. His father hadn't hesitated to send Kara there for punching the XO in the face. He had held a gun to his head – he would probably never see the outside of the brig again.
Therefore he was more than surprised when he got separated from Roslin and was brought directly to CIC. What was his father trying to do? Humiliate him in front of all CIC? Of course he wouldn't let go of a chance like this. Finally his father could show the world what a failure he had for a son. Tigh would love this. Gods, all those years his father had insisted that Lee wouldn't get differential treatment because he was the son of a decorated colonial officer. And now … he didn't think that his father would have had any other officer brought to CIC for something like this.
Lee was ordered to stand still next to a console, two marines standing right beside him. His father hadn't arrived in CIC yet. He was probably busy locking the President away. Again Lee tried to ignore the glances everyone sent his way. Most of them looked surprised and shocked that their CAG had gone against the Commander's orders. He refused to return any of the looks. Instead he stared at the wall opposite from him until he saw Boomer and Racetrack step into CIC. He had almost forgotten about their mission to destroy the basestar in the orbit of Kobol. It was good to know that it had been a success, despite the fact that they didn't have the raider anymore.
Still waiting for his father, his thoughts went to his family. What would Alicia say, when she found out what he did? She would be angry, that was for sure. He could consider himself lucky if she ever let him see his daughter again. The brig wasn't really the best place for a child.
He didn't have much time to think of this though as now his father had arrived as well. He walked by Lee and only paused for a short moment. The glare he gave Lee made him feel like a boy again. He waited for his father to say anything, but he stayed silent. Without looking at Lee again, he went to Boomer and Racetrack. Leave it to his father to give him the silent treatment. He hated to admit it, but that hurt more than any yelling his father could have done. Though Lee was sure he wouldn't have to wait too long for that.
“Congratulations to both of you. You carried out a very difficult and dangerous mission. And you did it despite any personal misgivings you may or may not have had. And for that I'm very proud. Thank you.” Adama said to the two pilots.
Both Boomer and Racetrack were beaming with proud. Lee knew those words were meant for him too. He had let his father down. He hadn't completed his mission because of these personal misgivings as his father had called them. His father still hasn't realized that it had been a mistake. Sure, committing mutiny hadn't been the best decision either, but what choice did he have? Lee just hoped his father would see that eventually. But knowing how stubborn both of them could be that might take a while.
He listened to Racetrack's and Boomer's grateful replies. His father was about to shake Boomer's hand and Lee thought that it would probably be his turn next, when two shots rang through CIC. Horrified Lee watched how his father fell back on a console behind him. It took him a second to realize what had happened. His father had been shot.
As soon as that realization hit him, he ran to his father, shaking off the two marines who tried to stop their prisoner. They didn't have a chance to hold him. The only thing Lee could think of was getting to his father and no one would stop him. As soon as he had reached him, he knelt next to him and cradled his head in his arms. He hardly noticed Tigh pressing his hands on the two wounds or Dee holding his father's hand, praying silently. He only noticed that there was blood everywhere.
“Someone get a doctor! Get Doc Cottle!” He screamed. “Oh, dad...“
Chapter 17
Alicia wasn't in the best mood when she entered sickbay. First Lee had refused to talk to her about whatever it was that was bothering him and then Elosha hadn't shown up to their appointment. As her daughter was spending time with Mathilda and with nothing else to do, she had decided to go to sickbay. There was always work to do and it was better then just sitting around in her quarters.
“Ali, hi, what brings you here?” Layne asked, surprised to see her friend.
“I had nothing to do, so I figured I might as well come to work.”
“That's nice. I was …”
“Layne, we gotta go!” A medic interrupted her.
“What happened?”
“Emergency call from CIC. And Cottle isn't on board.”
“CIC?” Layne asked surprised. Then she quickly grabbed a med kit and ran after her colleague.
Worried Alicia watched them leave. She hoped it wasn't anything too serious.
Alicia was filling out some papers, when Commander Adama was brought to sickbay. Shocked she stared at her father-in-law.
“What happened to him?” She asked as she jumped up and followed to where Adama was brought.
“He was shot.” Layne explained quickly. “We need to stabilize him until Cottle is back.”
Frantically Alicia looked around. She expected Lee to burst in here any second. Surely he would be notified immediately of this. But there was no sign of him. Helplessly she watched as her father-in-law was rolled into the examining room.
“Is there anything I can do?” She called after Layne.
“Pray.”
Alicia had sat in the waiting room for almost half an hour and still there was no sign of her husband. She was almost ready to go search for him, when she saw Colonel Tigh walk into sickbay.
“Colonel, what is going on here? What happened to the Commander? And where is my husband? Hasn't he been notified? That is his father in there …”
“Mrs. Adama!” Tigh snapped at her, stopping her tirade. When he was convinced that she would listen to him, he continued. “Captain Adama is well aware of what happened to his father. He was in CIC and witnessed the whole … incident.” Tigh had to force himself to say the last word. William Adama got shot – that was a whole lot more than an incident … it was his worst nightmare.
“If he knows, then where is he?” Alicia asked, afraid of the answer. Right now she could think of only one reason why Lee hadn't accompanied his father to sickbay.
“He's in the brig for committing mutiny.” Tigh stated angrily.
“What?” Shocked Alicia stared at him. He couldn't possibly talk about her husband. Lee was a soldier to the core… the only thing he had in common with his father. He would never commit mutiny.
“He held a gun to my head. If you ask me, he should never get out of there again. But that's for the Commander to decide as soon as he wakes up.” Tigh hoped his last words would become true. Adama had to wake up again. He couldn't die like this.
Shaken Alicia sagged on the nearest chair. This couldn't be true. This had to be some kind of nightmare.
“Colonel, where is Dr. Cottle?” Layne asked as she stepped into the waiting area.
“How's he doing?” Tigh inquired, ignoring her question.
”Well, the bullet's tore up his spleen. His blood pressure is way down. Somebody needs to get in there and stop the bleeding or we'll lose him. How long 'til Doc Cottle's aboard?” Layne asked again.
”I don't know. It's gonna be a while.”
”He doesn't have much time, sir.”
”You're gonna have to go in yourself.”
”Me? I'm just a medic.” Layne called out. She tried hard not to show the panic that was spreading through her right now.
”Today you're a doctor.” Tigh ordered.
Still shaken , Alicia stepped into the brig. It had actually taken her some time to get there. By now she had thought she would have known where to find everything on the Galactica, but so far there had never been a reason to go to Galactica's prison. Anger welled up in her. As much as she felt sorry for her husband because of his father, she was furious about his actions. He had committed mutiny … how could he! Did he even think about her and Nia? What would happen to them if Lee was in prison? She couldn't do this on her own. She couldn't raise Nia all alone. She felt the all too familiar panic rise inside her again.
“Can I help you, Ma'am?”
Startled Alicia turned to the marine who had approached her. “Yes, uhm … I'm looking for my husband. Captain Adama.”
“He's over there, Ma'am. Last cell.”
“Thank you.” Alicia forced herself to smile at him.
Slowly she walked to the cell in the back of the room when her eyes fell on a familiar face in another cell. “Madam President?”
“Mrs. Adama.” Roslin nodded to the other woman with as much dignity as she could muster in here.
Alicia could only stare at Laura Roslin. What was going on here? Lee and the President were in the brig, the Commander was shot and a medic had to play doctor… Had the whole world suddenly turned crazy? Then her eyes wandered to the next cell and all the anger she had just felt seconds ago left her. She saw Lee sitting on a rack, his shoulders slumped down. He held his head in his hands and looked down on the floor, his hands covering his eyes. His arms were full of blood and he was still shackled. A wave of pity welled over her at the sight of her husband. She had never seen him like this.
“Lee.” She said quietly when she stood before his cell. When he didn't react, she called out louder. “Lee.”
Slowly he raised his head. She was shocked to see tears in his eyes.
“Oh gods, Lee. What happened?”
Lee looked at her for a moment, then he got up and walked the few steps to her. Alicia couldn't help but stare at his blood stained arms. Lee followed her gaze.
“That's my Dad's …” His voice broke and he looked helplessly at his wife. “Gods, Ali, she shot him. Right in front of me. There was nothing I could do … I don't even know if he's alive.”
Alicia cupped his face with her hands through the bars and then gently stroked over his hair. “I was in sickbay when they brought him in. He was still alive. Layne … They're operating on him right now.”
“Cottle is already on board?”
Alicia hated to destroy the little hope that had appeared in Lee's eyes. “No, he's not. Layne is operating him. They couldn't wait any longer.”
“Layne? Layne Ishay? She's only a medic.” Lee called out in despair.
“She's the best medic I've ever seen. She can do this, Lee. I know she can.” She hoped he didn't remember the fact that she didn't really know that many medics.
Lee closed his eyes and let his head fall against one of the bars.
“Lee, what happened? Why are you here?”
A harsh chuckle escaped Lee's lips and he shook his head. “I was so stupid. I thought I was doing the right thing, but it was all for nothing.”
“You thought holding a gun to Tigh's head was the right thing?” Alicia asked quietly, with a small smile on her lips. This at least got Lee to look up at her again.
“Kinda, yeah …”
“Why did you do it? I guess it has something to do with the president.”
Lee let out a harsh breath. “This is such a mess, Ali. Dad …” He closed his eyes again at the memory of his father.
Alicia wanted to grab his hand for comfort, but she couldn't get herself to touch the blood. So instead she stroked his cheek. “He'll be all right, Lee.”
“The Commander had decided to terminate Roslin's presidency.” It felt easier saying the words when he wasn't referring to his father. “He sent marines over to Colonial One to arrest her. I was there … and I just couldn't let it happen. So …”
“… you held a gun to Tigh's head and tried to help the President.” Alicia finished for him.
Lee nodded weakly.
“Why would he want to arrest her?”
Lee glanced in Roslin's direction. He was still angry at her for sending Kara back to Caprica. “She made a mistake. And she betrayed his confidence.” His last words were meant more for Roslin than for his wife. “She sent Kara back to Caprica to retrieve some stupid arrow that's supposed to lead us to earth.”
Alicia stood frozen for a moment. Kara … So once again it all came back to Kara Thrace. Of course it had to be her. She knew how Adama felt about her. Only she would get him to take such drastic measures. She closed her eyes and tried to regain her composure. She didn't want Lee to sense what was going through her mind right now.
“Why do they need the arrow anyhow? I thought your father knows the way to earth.” She finally asked.
Lee shook his head. “I don't know …” Then it hit him. It was all a lie. “He doesn't know the way to earth. Right?” He looked at Roslin at his last question.
Roslin only hesitated a second. “No, he doesn't. He was trying to give everyone hope. We would have never gotten this far without the people having hope that we were going to some place safe.”
Lee nodded. That made sense. And it sounded exactly like something his father would do. But it hurt that he hadn't told the truth to his own son.
At that moment, Tigh stepped into the brig. He ignored Roslin as he walked by her cell. When he stood in front of Lee, he glared at him angrily.
“Open the cell.” He ordered the marine. Then he stepped inside, followed immediately by Alicia. He thought about sending her out, but before he could say anything, she started shouting at him.
“How dare you keep him like this? He couldn't even clean up. That's his father's blood on his arms and you just left him like this! What kind of man are you? You haven't even taken his shackles off! What is he supposed to do? He's behind the frakking bars?”
Everyone in the room stared at her surprised. Lee had never seen her like this. Tigh's jaw had dropped down; this was a side he had never expected to ever see in Alicia Adama. He was just about to follow her “orders” but then he reminded himself that he was in charge here, not the wife of a mutinous Captain. “He'll be released from the shackles when I say so.”
“You frakking bastard.” Alicia hissed. She had no idea why she could suddenly talk to him this way, but somehow seeing Lee defeated like this gave her all the strength she needed. For the first time in their marriage Lee needed her, not the other way around.
“How is my father, Colonel?” Lee's question ended the stand down between Tigh and his wife.
Tigh hesitated before he replied. In his opinion, Lee had no right to ask for his father. But he was still the Old Man's son and he couldn't deny him this. “He's still in surgery. That's all I know.”
He shot another angry glare at Lee. He would have to come to his reason for being here. He hated to say the next words, but he couldn't postpone this any longer.
“I'm going to need you in the cockpit. We need to jump back to our last location.”
“Why?”
“We lost the fleet.” Tigh pressed out.
“What?” Lee stared at him stunned for a second, then he chuckled. “You're in command of the fleet for what … 5 minutes? And you already lost the fleet?”
“I'm here to tell you about your parole.” Tigh did his best to ignore the mocking smile on Lee's face. “When you're on duty, you'll make no attempt to free her …” He managed to put as much disgust in that word as possible.” … or show insurrection among the crew. When you're not on duty, you'll report directly back to this cell. After this conversation you will prepare everything for an oncoming Cylon attack. Understood?”
Lee nodded and repeated his parole. Then he held his hands up and was finally freed from the shackles.
“Pre-flight brief is underway in the ready room.” Tigh said gruffly.
”Right.”
Lee was about to leave his cell, when Roslin approached him. She couldn't just let him walk away like this.
”Good hunting, Captain.”
Lee looked at her surprised, than a small smile appeared on his face. “Thank you... Madam President!”
“What's going to happen now?” Alicia asked, afraid of the answer.
“You heard him. We're expecting a Cylon attack. I'll go out, destroy a few raiders and report back to the brig. … And maybe I'll get a chance to check on my father in between.”
With a sad look he turned to Alicia. He wanted to take her hand, but he didn't dare … not with all that blood still on his arms. “Ali, I … Could you …”
“I'll be in sickbay and take care of your Dad. Don't worry, Lee.” She swallowed. “Just get back safe.”
“Thanks.” Lee smiled at her gratefully. “And when you get to it, could you give Nia a kiss for me?”
“You can do this yourself when you're back.”
“Ali, I have to come back to the brig when I'm back.”
“And you don't want Nia to see you behind bars? Don't worry, she's too young to remember later.” Alicia smiled at him.
Lee looked at her surprised. “So … you're gonna let me see her even in the brig?”
“Lee, I would never keep Nia away from you.”
He had to force the tears down that were threatening to escape his eyes. “Thanks.” He wanted nothing more right now then to embrace his wife, but the blood on his arms stopped him from doing so. He needed to get to his quarters and get it off before he attended to the briefing.
“I'm glad I can be there for you for a change.” Alicia said quietly.
“You are always there for me, Ali. I don't think I would have survived any of this without you.” He swallowed. “I'm sorry.”
“Don't be. You did the right thing. And when your father wakes up again, he will realize that.”
“You didn't see how he looked at me in CIC, right before …” Lee closed his eyes, reliving in his mind the terrifying image of his father getting shot by one of his pilots.
It broke Alicia's heart to see her husband in so much pain. Forgetting all about his blood stained arms, she pulled him into a tight embrace. “He will be all right.” She whispered.
After the fight with the Cylons was over and they had found the fleet again, Tigh's first thought was Adama. He hurried down to sickbay. He needed to know how his friend and Commander was doing. A nurse showed him the way to Adama's room. When he stepped inside, he found Alicia Adama was already there. She was talking to the medic who had operated on Adama. He wished he could remember her name. He wasn't sure if he had even asked for it.
“How is he?”
“Alive.” Layne answered dryly. “He survived the operation. But I'll feel much better once Cottle is here.”
”He's on his way. Hell of a job.”
”From now on, no more heart massages for me. I'm sticking to pills and enemas. Sir.”
”Let's hear it.” Tigh couldn't wait any longer.
”Well, I managed to stop the bleeding. Um, but... he's still critical.”
”Doc's on his way.” Tigh repeated. “Can you hear me, Bill?”
Alicia was still furious with the Colonel for the way he had treated Lee, but his behavior towards Adama surprised her. She didn't think he was capable of feeling anything. But anyone present could see the worry on his face.
For a moment, Tigh forgot that he wasn't alone in the room. He bent down to Adama and talked to him quietly. “You never should have brought me back in the service. If you'd just let me be, I'd have died back there in Caprica along with everyone else, and been happier for it. I don't want to command. I never did. Don't you dare die on me now.”
His words were barely above a whisper, but Alicia could understand them anyway. She knew exactly how he felt. During the last two months she had wished several times that she had stayed on Caprica that day. It would have been so much easier. But then her thoughts went back to Lee. She had been able to help him today. And for the first time she didn't regret surviving the Cylon attack on the Colonies.
Chapter 18
After her talk with Tigh, Alicia wanted to go to the Hangar Deck to see if Lee had made it back safely. Tigh hadn't bothered to tell her anything about her husband and whether he had come back from the fight, and Alicia had been too stubborn to ask him herself. She would only leave sickbay for a few minutes and would be right back at her father-in-law's side, but she couldn't concentrate if she didn't know if Lee had returned safely.
As she was just about to step out of the room, the lights suddenly went out. Frozen, she stood in the dark. She could hear people shouting everywhere around her.
”What the hell?”
”Grab the emergency flashlights!”
”Copy that. Check the ventilator.”
Alicia tried to control her breathing. She did anything to not break out in panic. What had happened now? She stood pressed against a wall for what seemed an eternity, staring in the dark. When the lights flashed up again moments later, she had to close her eyes against the sudden brightness.
“Thank the gods.” She muttered. She tried to control her breathing to calm down again. She forced herself to go back to her father-in-law to see if his condition had gotten worse due to the power failure. Every fiber of her body screamed that she needed to go to her daughter. But she had promised Lee she would stay with his father. Nia was safe. If anything had happened, Mathilda would know where to find her. She would take care of her daughter.
While the pilots were celebrating their return from the battle against the Cylons, Lee climbed out of his viper. He didn't feel like celebrating at all.
“Hey, Captain, nice work out there.” Flyboy called to him.
”I'm not sure what you guys are kissing and hugging about. We screwed up. We let one through.” Lee said quietly. He tried to control his temper. He was still angry with himself for letting that raider get passed him and heading straight towards Galactica.
”Yes, sir.” Flyboy replied quietly.
”What's going on with the lights?” Kat asked, speaking out what Lee had thought to himself as soon as he had noticed the darkness on the hangar deck.
”I'm not sure.” He replied. But he was determined to find out. With quick steps he went to the first deckhand he saw. “What's the status, Jammer?”
“Power's out, sir.” Jammer replied nervously. “I think it's ship wide. Sound-powered phone's the only thing working. Tried to get through to damage control, but the lines are jammed.”
”Okay, get the birds tied down, make the ordinance safe. I'll head up to combat; see what the hell's going on.” Lee ordered. Then he turned around and left the hangar bay. What did Tigh do this time? He thought angrily. He had wanted to go to sickbay to see after his father right after his return, and now he had to take care of this mess. First Tigh loses the fleet, and now this. Should his father never wake up again, they were really in a lot of trouble.
Lee was walking a few steps behind Flyboy, Hotdog and Kat. While the other pilots were on their way to the rec room, Lee wanted to go straight to CIC to see for himself what had happened. All three pilots were still high from the adrenaline from the previous battle and kept chattering about their maneuvers. Lee hardly listened to them. His thoughts circled around his father. He didn't even know if he was alive. When he had approached Galactica in his viper, he had thought about asking CIC over the wireless for any news on him. But the fear that the news might not be anything positive had stopped him from doing so. He didn't want to find out that his father had died while he sat in a viper.
He was so deep in thought about his father that he didn't notice how the other pilots suddenly stopped in their tracks until he practically ran into them. Startled he looked up. He could hear Kat screaming and then he saw a Centurion standing right in front of them. Before Lee had time to realize what happened, the Centurion had stabbed Flyboy with a razor coming out of his hand. It happened so fast, that no one had time to react. Flyboy was immediately dead, his blood splattered on his fellow pilots.
“Holy, frak! Frak!” Hotdog called out in panic, jumping back just in time before the Centurion could stab him too.
Quickly Lee, Hotdog and Kat pulled out their weapons and started shooting at the Centurion, but their weapons didn't do any harm to him. Kat screamed out loud when the Centurion came after her.
”Frak! Get out of here! Now, come on!” Lee yelled. He grabbed Kat's arm and pulled her away from the Centurion, then he motioned them back down the corridor they had just came from, away from the Centurion.
”Go, go, go!” Kat shouted, her fear clearly audible in her voice.
”Come on, come on! Hurry! Get through the hatch! Go!” Lee yelled at them. He was leading them towards a nearby ladder. He hoped the Centurions weren't built to climb ladders … then they might actually get out of here alive. “Get up the ladder, go! Get up, get up the ladder!”
He turned around to look behind him and regretted it immediately. The Centurion had almost reached them and was coming closer fast. Lee kept shooting until he ran out of ammo. It didn't stop the Centurion and it was already too close to Lee; he didn't have any time left to climb up the ladder himself. He closed his eyes shut, expecting to be stabbed by the Centurion's razor any second. Suddenly he heard an explosion directly in front of him. He shielded his face with his arms and when his vision cleared again, he saw marines walking up behind the Centurion. The latter lay headless on the floor.
“You all right, Captain?” One of the marines asked.
”Still breathing. I guess that's all right.” Lee replied, slightly out of breath. He tried to stop his hands from shaking. This had been close. Real close. Then he called up the ladder. “Kat, Hotdog! You all right?”
”Think so.” Hotdog replied from above while he and Kat came climbing down.
”Can I get back to you on that?” Kat said when she stood next to Lee. She was still pale from the shock of what happened.
Lee knew how she felt. He was still trembling inside from what had just happened. Right now he wanted nothing more than to find his wife and daughter and hide somewhere safe. But he knew that wasn't an option. He knew that Alicia was safe in sickbay and there wasn't really any reason for the Cylons to go to private quarters … so Nia should be safe too. His family wasn't in any immediate danger and he needed to concentrate on the task at hand. Taking a deep breath Lee turned to the leading Marine.
”Sitrep?”
”We've been boarded, Sir. Don't know how many, where they are, where they're headed.” The Marine reported. “Our standard ammo doesn't even make a dent. Explosive rounds are the only way to take them down.”
”How many rounds you got?” Lee inquired.
”That was our last one.”
Trying to ignore Kat's gasp of fear, Lee wrote a quick note. “Hotdog. Take this to C.I.C. Give it to Colonel Tigh or the officer in charge.”
”Yes, sir.” Hotdog gave a quick salute and ran off.
”Marines. Let's go toaster shopping.” Lee called out. He would stop these Cylons and if it was the last thing he did. He wouldn't let them come near his family.
While Alicia tried to help as much as possible in sickbay, she heard the fleet wide call from Galactica's CIC.
“Galactica to all ships. We have been boarded by a Cylon raiding party. Do not approach or attempt to dock with Galactica. Keep a safe distance until we have secured the ship. I say again, we have been boarded by a Cylon raiding--ah!”
The quiet following that call was even worse than the darkness before. Again Alicia felt the panic rise in her. There were Cylons on the Galactica. With fear in her eyes she stared at her friend.
Layne knew what was going through Alicia's head. “You can't leave now, Ali. With Cylons on board, you'll never make it to your quarters. It's too dangerous.”
“I can't leave her alone now.” Alicia whispered.
“She's not alone. Mathilda is with her.” Layne tried to reason with her.
“No … I'm sorry, Layne. I can't just stay here. She's my daughter. I can't leave her alone.” Without another word Alicia ran out of sickbay.
Lee's first destination was the brig. Roslin was still in there; he didn't think that Tigh had thought about releasing her. If the Cylons knew she was in there, they might try to take her out. She was still the President of the Colonies after all. He would make sure that didn't happen.
When he stepped into the brig, he found Roslin already outside her cell. Thankfully the Marine in charge had proven to be thoughtful enough to let her out. Quickly Lee explained the situation.
“We've been boarded. This deck is crawling with Cylons. They're trying to get to the magazines.”
”How can we help?” Roslin asked immediately.
Her question once again reminded Lee why he admired her so much. She probably hadn't held a gun her whole life and yet she offered her help in a situation like this. Although he didn't doubt that she could kill any Cylon coming her way if she put her mind to it.
“Stay alive and don't get shot. Leave the Cylons to us.” He replied. “Okay, sickbay is the safest spot. It's farthest away from any potential targets, and it's designed to function as a disaster shelter in case the ship was lost.” His words were meant to reassure him as much as Roslin. He hoped he was right and sickbay really was the safest place right now.
He turned to one of the Marines and asked for his weapon which he then handed to the President's aide. ”Okay, Billy, you ever handled a weapon before?”
”Pellet gun from my uncle when I was, like, ten.” Billy stared horrified at the gun in his hand.
”Principle's the same. Real ones just make a bigger noise.” He then turned to Roslin, handing her his own weapon. “Madame President?”
”No, thank you. I can't.” Roslin shook her head vehemently. As much as she wanted to help, she had no experience at all with handling a weapon. She wouldn't be any help.
”Corporal.” Lee turned to Venner.
”Yes?”
”You're in charge of getting her down to sickbay. Take Bonnington as escort. Remember, just head away from the sound of gunfire.” Lee told him.
”Right.” Venner nodded nervously.
Again Lee wrote a short note and handed it to him. “Could you give this to my wife? She should be in sickbay.”
“Of course, Sir.”
”What about you?” Roslin asked worried.
”We're heading towards the gunfire.” He replied. Then he turned back to the Marines.” Okay, listen up. There's a small arms locker on causeway bravo, two decks down. We're gonna go get some explosive rounds, and then we're heading for the magazines. Marine!”
”Sir.”
”You take point.” Lee ordered.
”Good luck, Captain. May the Lords protect you.” Roslin said quietly.
”Yeah, you too.” Lee gave her a small smile before he turned his attention back on the Marine. “Clear?”
”Clear.”
”Okay, let's go.”
On the corridor leading to the arms locker they found more dead men lying on the floor. There was blood everywhere. Lee stared at them for a second. Then he closed his eyes and tried desperately not to think of Alicia and Nia.
“Frak, why did I let this frakking raider through.” He mumbled almost inaudibly . He knew there hadn't been much he could have done. If he had followed the raider any further, he would have flown directly into Galactica's flak. It would have been suicide. But he couldn't stop thinking that there had to have been something he could have done to stop the raider.
“Sir?”
He met Kat's questioning eyes at his remark. “Nothing … Keep your eyes up ahead. Come on. Come on! Okay, go. Go, go, go.”
When they stepped inside the arms locker, they saw more dead bodies and a man standing in the middle of the room. Immediately they raised their weapons, ready to shoot should he do anything.
“Okay... don't shoot, don't shoot, I'm human!”
”Jammer?” Kat asked astounded.
”Yes Sir, it's me. It's me. Jammer, don't shoot, please. Jammer.”
Letting out a deep breath, Lee put down his gun again. He had no idea what Jammer was doing here, but he had no time to think about that now. He looked around the room quickly, taking in his surroundings.
“Collishaw! Watch the hatch.” He ordered one of the Marines. “Kat! Twinam! Find those explosive rounds. What the hell happened here?” He had turned to Jammer with his last question.
”I don't know, Sir. I wasn‘t here in this fight. I just came in here to hide. The Cylons are everywhere.” Jammer replied in a panicked voice.
”All right, settle down, settle down. You're gonna be just fine.” Lee tried to calm him.
”Apollo?”
When Lee turned to Kat, he saw her pointing at an ammunition case with six explosive rounds in it.
”You're kidding me. That's it?” Lee couldn't believe it. How were they supposed to defeat the Cylons with only six rounds?
”Didn't have much to begin with, sir. The other fire teams must have cleaned the locker out right before us.” Twinam, one of the marines, said.
”Six rounds. … There are five of us. Okay, well... each of you guys take one. I'll take the reload.” Lee replied.
”Wait, you're not counting me, are you, Sir?” Jammer called out, even more panicked than before. “I mean, I'm just … I mean, I'm just a knuckle dragger here. I don't know how to fight Centurions. I don't know the first thing about fighting Centurions!”
Lee ignored his words and forced the explosive round in Jammer's hand. “Come on. Let's go.”
Exhausted, Kara lay on the couch in her old apartment, listening to her father's music.
”You know, I never really liked this place anyway. Air conditioning doesn't work in the summer. Heater doesn't work in the winter. The rent's a crime.” She said with closed eyes.
”A-hah.” Helo didn't really know what to say. After two months on the run, sleeping in empty restaurants or barns most of the time, her apartment was like heaven to him. He watched her taking out a cigar of a box and lighting it up. He couldn't believe this was all really true. Only a few hours ago he had been with Sharon, happy – under the circumstances – to be with her. And now … Sharon turned out to be a Cylon, she was pregnant with his child and he had watched Kara almost getting killed by that blonde Cylon bitch that had nearly killed him too during those first days he'd been on Caprica after the attack. After the beating that Kara had taken and that fall through the museums ceiling, he didn't know how she even had been capable of going all the way to her apartment. He knew Starbuck was tough, but she had proven to be a lot tougher than he had thought.
”After they attacked, I never... I never pined over any of my old crap.” Kara began talking again after a while. “Never missed it. Stupid view of the parking lot. Broken toilet in the bathroom. You know, everyone I know... is fighting to get back what they had. I'm fighting 'cause I don't know how to do anything else.” She let out a deep breath.
“What about the people on Galactica? The Old Man? You could be fighting for him.” Helo replied quietly.
“Yeah …” Kara whispered. “And Apollo …”
“Apollo?” Helo asked with a raised eyebrow.
“He's a father now, did you know that? He's fighting for his daughter.”
“No, I didn't know.” Helo looked at her surprised. “With all the things you told me about him the last two years, I would have thought you'd mention that.”
“I didn't know.” Kara looked sadly down at her hands. “We grew apart so far … He got married, got a daughter and I never knew. If the Cylons hadn't attacked, I probably still wouldn't know.”
“But now you do.”
“Yeah … I can't stand his wife.” Kara admitted.
“Big surprise.” Helo chuckled.
“What do you mean?”
“Come on, Kara. I know you've got feelings for this guy. The way you've been talking about him all this time …”
“What are you talking about? I mean, I just realized how I feel for him… only a few weeks ago.” Kara stared at him surprised.
“You should listen to yourself a bit more often, Starbuck. It was obvious from the beginning you're in love with him. Gods, you drove me crazy the days before the decommissioning. You could hardly talk about anything else but the great Apollo coming to Galactica.”
“I did talk about other things.” Kara replied offended.
“Not when we were alone.”
Sighing Kara pounded her hand on the couch. “It doesn't matter now anyway. He's married. And he loves her. So … I'll just have to forget about that and move on.”
Scared, Alicia stumbled through the dark corridors of Galactica. Her eyes had accustomed to the darkness, but she still wished she had taken a flashlight before she left sickbay. She kept her eyes focused on the darkness ahead of her, looking out for any red lights coming towards her. So far she hadn't seen any Cylons, thank the gods. But she had heard several shots and people screaming. She felt like she was living her worst nightmare.
Suddenly she stumbled over something lying on the floor. She lost her balance and fell down on the floor herself. She gasped in shock when her eyes fell on a dead woman right in front of her. His eyes were wide open, filled with cold dread and fear. She tried to crawl away in horror, when she heard a moan. She held her breath, scared to death about what was waiting in the dark for her. When she heard another moan, she tried to regain her composure. Someone here was still alive.
“Who's there?” She whispered. She didn't dare to speak up in case any Centurions were somewhere nearby.
“Alicia?” A small voice answered her.
“Oh gods, Dee, is that you?” Alicia saw some movement next to her and crawled to where she thought Dee was lying. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah, I was going to the head …” Her voice trailed off and with wide eyes she looked at Alicia. “I went back to my rack … I forgot something …”
“Are you hurt?” Alicia wished she could see more in the dark.
“My head …”
With shivering hands Alicia traced Dee's head for any injuries. When she felt something wet on her fingers, she knew Dee was bleeding.
“We have to get you to sickbay … you think you can walk?”
“There was someone with me …” Dee mumbled.
“Yes … she's dead. I'm sorry.” Alicia whispered.
“She stopped breathing a while ago …”
”We really have to go now.” Alicia grabbed Dee's arm and put it around her shoulder. Then she tried to pull her up but Dee was dead weight in her arms. “Dee, you gotta help me. We have to go.”
She didn't get a reaction from the other woman. Desperately she thought about what she should do now. She couldn't carry her all the way. Suddenly she had an idea.
“Petty officer Dualla, look at me.” She had seen this work several times in sickbay the past few weeks. No matter how injured or traumatized the patients were, they always reacted to their rank.
And it worked with Dee too. When she heard her rank, Dee immediately snapped out of her haze.
”Alicia? Hey. I'm glad to see you. I've been here in the dark a long time.”
“I know. That's why we have to go now. You probably have a concussion, but I need you to help me. We gotta do this together. So … you think you can walk?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
Again Alicia tried to pull Dee up and this time Dee helped her. When they were finally standing, they made their way to sickbay. Alicia just hoped she would find the way back.
"Privates.“ Tigh muttered. „All right, give me Collishaw!“
"Why?“
"Because I said so.“ Tigh replied angrily.
"This is my command, Colonel.“ Lee insisted. He would be damned if he would give that up just because of Tigh's hurt pride. This was his life at stake here. He wouldn't rely on anyone else.“You have orders, you give them through me.“
“You are not a Marine and you are not commanding this mission. Now give me Collishaw!“ Tigh barked. Inwardly he knew that Lee was the best man for this mission. He outranked the private and he was probably more qualified for combat situations like this either. But he had just mutinied; he didn't have the right to take any commands.
“This isn't the time for some kind of pissing contest between you and your ...“
“Damn right it's not. I'm relieving you of command right now.“
Lee couldn't hide a laughter at this. Tigh was being rediculous. “Why?“
“Because you have been a disappointment your whole life and I need someone I can count on.“ Tigh knew that William Adama had never seen his son as a disappointment. On the contrary. He had shown nothing but pride every time he talked about his oldest son. But there had also always been pain behind his words due to the fact that Lee had refused to have any contact with his father for two years. And in his eyes, that was more than enough reason to see Lee as a disappointment.
“Now put Private Collishaw on the frakking phone.“ He shouted in the phone.
Lee swallowed down the hurt at Tigh's words and he tried not to think about that his father's thoughts about him were reflecting in Tigh's words. There wasn't time for this now. “This is my command, Colonel. What are your orders?“
“All right, I'm gonna have to take a chance on you.“ Tigh muttered, finally giving in. ”Take your men and proceed without delay to aft damage control.”
“Aft damage control.” Lee repeated.
“That's what they're after. Let's not waste any more time. You get to aft damage control and get there right frakking now, Mister. Get there before the Cylons or we lose the ship. Is that clear?”
“Aft damage control. RFN. On our way. Apollo out.” Lee replied, trying to hide his anger. He didn't think Tigh could have found any way to talk to him less respectfully .
As much as she hated it, she would go back to sickbay. If Lee was strong enough to think of his responsibilities right now, so could she.
“All right, Corporal Venner, this is your ship. I'm just a tourist. Find us another way to sickbay.” Roslin said when she saw Alicia agreeing to go with them.
”Okay, um... okay, we have to head toward aft damage control.”
”Aft damage control. “ Roslin nodded and motioned him to show them the way. She hoped they would reach the safety of sickbay soon.
It took them only a few minutes to reach their destination. Luckily they didn't encounter any more Centurions on their way. Lee quickly ordered everyone to take cover and then they turned out the flashlights, waiting for their enemy to arrive.
As soon as the light was out, Lee felt as if the darkness would press him down. He could hear gunshots from somewhere nearby. He tried not to think about what Nia and Alicia must feel like or how his father was doing right now. He hoped the emergency generator for sickbay was working properly .
The longer they sat in the darkness, the more did his thoughts circle around his family. He could practically hear Nia crying; she had always been afraid of the dark.
Alicia had silently followed the marines, hoping they would lead them all safely back to sickbay, when they suddenly saw Centurions right ahead of them.
“Take cover! Take cover!” Corporal Venner whispered quickly.
Jammer looked at him , surprised at this comment.
“Sometimes you have to roll a hard six.” Lee would have laughed if the situation wouldn't be this serious. He'd never thought he would ever use this expression.
”What does that mean, Sir?”
”Uh... I don't know.” Lee admitted, a small smile on his lips. “It's something my Dad says. Just...don't shoot until I tell you to. All right. Okay, we're in good shape. They're coming. But we're in good shape.“ Lee tried to convince himself with his last words. As he could hear the Centurions coming closer, he could feel the fear rising in him. He tried to controll his breathing ... he needed to stay calm now otherwise he was as good as dead. Nervoulsy he rubbed his hand through his hair; he couldn't remember ever feeling that scared being in a viper, not even right before or during a battle.
“Head shot. Reload. Head shot. Head shot. Reload. Head shot.“ Lee repeated over and over again. He wasn't sure if he was doing it for Jammer's sake or for himself. The metallic steps of the Centurions got louder with every second. “Okay, they're coming. Everybody down!”
Suddenly a single shot rang through the corridor outside of Aft Damage Control and immediately the Centurions started firing.
“Fire!” Lee shouted.
“Frak!” Jammer shouted out loud.
All Lee later remembered from the shooting was a lot of screams, shots ringing in his ears and the sight of the two marines falling down on the floor. From the looks of it they were dead immediately.
He had no idea how, but in the end they had managed to shoot down the two centurions that had approached them. Lee had taken one out seconds before it could have killed him. He never wanted to be that close to a Centurion again.
After the Centurions were dead, there was a heavy silence lying over the room. After a few seconds everyone got up from their cover.
“We did it! We got them all! They don't look so big now, do they?” Jammer called out excitedly.
”They look big enough.” Lee said quietly, staring at the dead marines.
When Alicia saw Lee coming up behind the boxes, she wanted nothing more than to jump up and run to him. But she sat frozen on the floor. She couldn't move. She still heard the screams of the marines in her ears, the shots and explosions all around her. She pulled her arms around her to stop the trembling.
Lee was surprised to see Roslin and Venner right outside of Damage Control. He walked in their direction to see if they were all right when his eyes fell on his wife. “Ali?”
With only a few quick steps he was at her side. “Ali, are you all right?”
“Lee.” Relieved and still full of fear Alicia slung her arms around him.
Lee noticed her trembling and held her close to him, his hand stroking through her hair. “It's alright, you're safe. It's over now.” He whispered in her ear. “Are you hurt?”
“No … I'm fine.” Alicia swallowed and pulled out of the embrace. When her eyes fell on Lee's face, she let out a shocked gasp. “Lee, your face …”
Lee looked at her in confusion.
“It's full of … blood …” She whispered.
Surprised Lee lifted his hands to his face. With everything that had happened he hadn't even noticed that. For the second time today he was covered with somebody else's blood.
“It's not mine, Ali. I'm not hurt.”
With tears in her eyes she looked at him. “Can we just go to Nia? Please?”
Slowly Lee nodded and pulled her closer to him. Right now he wanted nothing more than to be with his family.
When they finally stood in front of Mathilda's quarters, Lee motioned Alicia to go in.
“I'll be with you in a few minutes. I just need to wash up before ... Nia doesn't need to see me like this.” Lee swallowed.
Alicia nodded slowly. “Okay.”
Then she knocked on the door, called out her name and entered; she didn't have the nerve to wait for Mathilda to open the door for her. The room was lit with a few candles and Alicia immediately saw her daughter sitting on the couch.
“Nia, honey ...” She called out and ran to her daughter.
“Mommie.” Happy to see her mother, Nia crawled from the couch. Before she could walk a few steps, Alicia was at her side and pulled her up in her arms.
“Oh sweetheart, I'm so happy to see you.” She said between tears, holding her daughter close to her.
“Fireworks, Mommie.” Nia beamed with joy.
“What?” Confused Alicia looked at her daughter.
“Uhm, I told her that the loud noises were fireworks.” Mathilda explained. “She was scared and I ... well ...”
“Thank you so much.” Alicia said gratefully. With Nia still on her arms, she went to the older woman and gave her a warm hug. “Thank you for taking care of her.”
“That's what I'm here for, right?” Mathilda said smiling.
“Where's Daddy?”
“He'll be here in a minute.” Alicia told her daughter. When she met Mathilda's questioning eyes, she went on. “He's all right. He's just ... washing up.”
Mathilda nodded understandingly.
“You see it, mommie?”
Again Alicia looked confused at her daughter.
“She means the fireworks.” Mathilda said quietly.
“Oh ... “ Alicia forced herself to smile at her daughter. “Yes, I saw it.”
After making sure that Nia was all right, Lee went to sickbay to see after his father. It would be the first time he'd see him after Boomer shot him. He just hoped Tigh wouldn't throw him into the brig before he saw his father.
He was lucky; Tigh was nowhere to be seen in sickbay. A nurse showed him where he could find his father.
Lee was shocked at his father's appearance. He looked pale and weak. There were tubes and monitors everywhere. He had never seen him like this. His father was always the strong one, he never let anyone see any weaknesses, if he had any at all. And here he was ... He was lying almost lifeless in sickbay, fighting for his life. For the first time Lee didn't see him as the invincible Battlestar Commander he had thought of him his whole life.
Lee took a few more steps closer to his father and took his hand in his. He tried to think of something to say. He wasn't sure if his father would hear him, but it seemed like the right think to do.
But before he could say anything, Roslin stepped inside the room, shortly followed by Tigh. Both of them felt sorry at the devastated expression on Lee's face.
“Doc Cottle's on his way. He'll be here any minute.” Despite his anger Tigh wanted to say something that would comfort the young man. But he had never been good in situations like this.
“He's going to be all right. You know that.” Roslin said quietly.
“Yeah. Yeah, I ... I know that.” Lee replied, not taking his eyes from his father. Of course he would be all right. William Adama wouldn't die like this. That's not how it was supposed to happen.
Roslin sensed that Lee needed some more time alone with his father. She had wanted to see with her own eyes how Adama was doing. She wanted to give him some strength to come out of this alive. But it wasn't her place to be here right now. Lee deserved this time with his father. “Colonel, I assume there's still a cell out there waiting for me.”
“That's right.” Tigh grumbled.
“Corporal Venner, I'm ready.” She cast one last look at Adama, then she turned around and left, followed by Venner.
Tigh watched her leaving, shaking his head. Roslin never ceased to surprise him. When he looked down at his friend, the anger against Apollo rise again inside of him. He had seen the look in Bill's eyes when he had come into CIC, looking at his handcuffed son. Apollo had disappointed his father in every possible way.
“I can't believe you sided with that woman against the Old Man.” He said angrily. “I wouldn't do that if you put a gun to my head. And you did. As far as I'm concerned, you're not fit to wear a uniform.”
“Hmm. You're right about that part. I am not fit to wear the uniform. Maybe I never was. Then again, neither are you. This isn't my ship. And it sure as hell isn't yours. It's his. And when he wakes up...” Lee swallowed. “He'll decide what to do with the both of us.” Whatever his father would decide to do with him, Lee just hoped he would be able to forgive him. Without another word he let go of his father's hand and walked out of sickbay, going straight to the brig. He prayed this wasn't the last time he saw his father alive.
“Thank the gods I didn't have kids.” Tigh mumbled, watching him leave.
Chapter 19
Restlessly Lee lay on the rack in his cell, his thoughts circling around his father. He felt like he was going crazy. His father was lying in sickbay, and he was stuck here in the brig. He should be at his side right now.
What if his father didn't survive? If the wounds were too serious and he just wasn't strong enough to pull through this? What if he would never wake up again?
Lee had always hated to rely on his parents. He had accepted his mother's help when Alicia had gotten sick, but he would have never asked his father for anything. Not for help and not for advice. It hadn't been necessary. He had told himself that he didn't need his father.
But the thought alone that he would never be able to ask his father for anything, never to hear his advice again, not be able to speak with him, even if it was only in anger ... that thought scared him more than the Centurions he had fought a short while ago. He was scared to lose his father. He felt like a little boy and he hated it. But the feeling wouldn't go away.
Lee closed his eyes and for the first time in years he prayed to the gods. He prayed that they would save his father. He would give anything to talk to him just one more time.
He had already lost Kara, he couldn't lose his father too.
“Lee.”
Hearing his wife's voice, Lee jumped off his rack and quickly walked to the bars. “Hey ... How is he?”
“He's in surgery. Cottle is finally onboard and began to operate on him immediately.” Alicia told him, taking his hand through the bars. She wished she could embrace him ... she hated being separated like this from him.
Lee nodded slowly, relieved that his father was finally getting the help he needed. He just hoped it wasn't too late.
“Your father is strong, he will get through this.” Alicia tried to comfort him.
“Yeah ...” Thoughts of all the things that could go wrong during the surgery flashed through his mind. He tried to push them away. Nothing would go wrong. With Cottle doing the surgery, his father was in the best hands. But the nervous feeling in his gut just wouldn't leave.
Taking a deep breath, he tried to concentrate on something else. Anything that would keep his mind busy so that he would stop worrying about his father. “How are you doing?”
“Don't worry about me, I'm fine.” She assured him.
Lee nodded, his thoughts immediately going back to his father. “I ... I'm back on duty in a few minutes. When ... If anything changes ...”
“I'll find you and let you know how he's doing right away.”
“Thanks.” Lee nodded again, giving her a small smile.
“What are you going to do now?” Alicia asked. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer. Whatever his “duty” was, it probably was something dangerous. And with everything that had already happened today, she didn't think she could cope being afraid for his life again.
“Our people are still on Kobol so we need to come up with a plan to get them back.”
Alicia closed her eyes as she asked the next question. “Will you be the one to get them back?”
“One of them, yes.” Lee squeezed her hand. He could see she was scared and he wanted to take some of the fear away. “It won't be as dangerous as it seems. The Basestar is destroyed. There will only be a few Cylons left on the planet. We probably won't see any of them.”
“I hope you're right.” Alicia whispered.
After Lee left the brig, he went straight to CIC. He needed to know all the information they had about Kobol.
As soon as he stepped into CIC, he froze. All he could do was stare at the empty console in the middle of the room. For a moment he saw his father again, lying there in his own blood. He clasped his hands into fists to stop them from shaking. He could feel his father's blood on him again and subconsciously began rubbing his arms.
“Captain?”
Kelly's voice pulled him out of his haze.
“Captain Kelly.” He cleared his throat. “What can you tell me about Kobol? Bad news first.” Lee asked, forcing himself to think only of the mission. It was about time they got their people back.
They had been working on a plan for about twenty minutes, when Colonel Tigh stepped into CIC.
“What the hell's all this? Why aren't you in the brig?” He started yelling immediately.
Lee looked at him confused. What was his problem now? This whole parole had been his idea. But when he looked into his XO's eyes, he could see he wasn't sober anymore. He couldn't believe this jerk got drunk in a situation like this. How his father had ever thought making Tigh his XO was a good idea was a miracle for him.
“I'm on duty, Sir. Planning the search and rescue mission.” Lee replied coldly.
“Search and rescue? For who? We lose a plane and no one tells me?!” Angrily Tigh looked at the people working in CIC. No one dared to hold his glare. No one except Lee.
“For our Raptor crew down on the surface of Kobol, Sir.” He practically spat the words at Tigh. He had never liked the man but right now he down right hated him.
“Sims is the senior pilot now, he plans the SAR.” Tigh replied in an angry voice.
“You ask me to command the air group when I'm on duty. And I'm on duty. So am I in command or not?” Lee asked, his disrespect for Tigh dripping from every word he said.
Tigh stared at him angrily for a moment. Then he took a deep breath. “What's the status of the SAR, Captain?”
For the moment he seemed to have accepted that Lee was in charge of the mission. That was at least some progress.
“Well, we don't know what area Raptor 3 went down. So the only realistic chance of finding her is if her disaster transponder beacon is functioning. I intend to take two Raptors, one with medical personal, and make five low level orbits of the planet.” Lee explained the plan. He hoped they could continue with the mission planning without any more senseless arguments with Tigh.
“What about the Cylon Basestar that Lt. Valerii supposedly destroyed? What if she was lying?”
Shaking his head, Lee suppressed a frustrated sigh. Supposedly destroyed? They knew the Basestar was destroyed, there was no reason to believe otherwise. Their men on Kobol could be in immediate danger and he had to waste valuable time to discuss this with Tigh.
“Racetrack confirmed the destruction of the Basestar and I checked the gun camera footage from the Raptors, which confirms it.” Lee explained impatiently.
Nodding, Tigh took in this information. Then he turned his attention on Gaeta who had appeared behind him a minute ago. “Lt. Gaeta, why are you hovering about?”
“Uh, it's the press.” Gaeta stammered, taking aback by Tigh's demeanor.
“The press?”
”They're demanding to know how much longer we plan on holding them, and when they can contact their home ships.” Gaeta explained quickly.
“They demand? They're in no position to demand anything. You tell them to shut their yaps. We'll get to them in due time.” Tigh barked.
“Excuse me, Colonel. Shuttle from the Zephyr is requesting to enter the landing pattern.” Dualla reported.
“The Zephyr?”
“Yes, Sir. Evidently the Quorum of Twelve is aboard. They're demanding to see you.”
“They demand?”
Lee tried not to laugh out loud. Tigh seemed to lose control fast. “Demanding job, commanding a Battlestar.” He smirked.
Tigh glared at him angrily before he turned back to Dualla. “Clear them to land. Put them in the ward room and hold them there until I have time to see them.”
“Yes Sir.”
Tigh threw another furious look at everyone in CIC, then he quickly walked out.
Lee shook his head as he watched him leaving.
Nervously Alicia paced through the rooms of sickbay. She had never been a very patient person and waiting for her father-in-law to come out of surgery was finally proving to be too much. She had thought about going back to her quarters and spending some more time with Nia. It had torn her apart to leave her again so soon, but she knew how much it meant to Lee that she was here. And with all the seriously injured people in sickbay right now, this wasn't a place for her daughter.
She was walking through the same room for the third time, when her eyes fell on Layne. She was sitting on a bedside, holding the hand of one of the patients. Surprised, Alicia stopped and watched her friend. She had already remembered her sitting there the last time she had walked through this room.
“Layne, is everything all right? Can I help you somehow?” Helping Layne tending to the patients would at least get her mind off her father-in-law's surgery.
When Layne didn't respond, Alicia stepped slowly closer. “Layne?”
Finally Layne looked up. She looked pale and tears were rolling down her face.
“Oh gods, Layne, what ...” Her voice broke when her eyes fell on the man lying on the bed. He was dead. At first she didn't realize why the death of this man would disturb Layne so much, but then she recognized him. He was her fiancé, John. Alicia held her hand over her mouth and suppressed a shocked gasp. “Layne, I ... I'm so sorry.”
She quickly walked around the bed and put her arms around her friend, pulling her into an embrace. She held her tightly for several minutes.
“This isn't fair.” Layne whispered between sobs. “It's not fair. We wanted to get married. We wanted to stay together forever. We ...” Her voice broke and she tried to pull out of Alicia's arms, bending over her dead fiancé.
Alicia held onto her tightly. “Layne, you ... you have to let go. Let's go somewhere else. You've been sitting here for too long and there is … nothing you can do anymore. You have to say goodbye.” She swallowed and cleared her throat. She didn't think she would be able to just walk away if it had been Lee lying on this bed. But she knew that someone would pull her away from Lee and right now she would be this someone for Layne. “He wouldn't want you to be like this, Layne. He never liked to see you in tears.”
Layne shook her head in despair. “What am I supposed to do now? He ... he was ...” She couldn't continue and looked helplessly at Alicia.
“I can imagine how you feel right now.” She closed her eyes, forcing herself to go on. “Believe me, I know how easy it would be to just give up now. But you can't do that.”
“Why not?” Angrily Layne pulled out of Alicia's arms. “You did it! You thought Lee was dead and you tried to kill yourself. You did it, so why can't I?”
The despair in Layne's voice broke her heart. “You're right and I still regret that decision. Layne ... John once told me that what he loves most about you, what made him fall in love with you was your determination and your will to live. You never gave up, not once. He admired you for that. And he wouldn't want you to give up now.”
Layne's shoulders sagged down and for several minutes she looked helplessly down at her fiancé. Then she suddenly straightened up and with a determined expression she looked at Alicia. “Tell your husband to kill as many Cylons as he can for me. I want them to pay for this.”
Her cold voice startled Alicia. She had never seen her friend like this. But at the same time she knew exactly how she felt.
“They will.” She whispered. “One day they will all get what they deserve.”
“Hi ... Corporal Venner told me you were here.” Alicia greeted her husband as she stepped into their quarters.
“I needed to change and the whole brig is crowding with politicians, so ...”
“You don't need to explain this to me.” Alicia smiled as she pulled him close for a kiss. “How are you doing?”
“Good ... all things considered. Planning this mission keeps me from thinking too much about Dad.” He looked at her hesitantly. He knew it was too early, but maybe she knew something new ...
Alicia could see what was going through his mind. “I'm sorry. He's still in surgery. It could be a few hours before he comes out.” She took a step back and looked at him more closely. “This Marine Uniform looks nice on you.”
“Thanks.” Lee replied, giving her a small smile.
“Though I do prefer you in a flight suit. Make sure you come back safely, okay? I want to see you in it at least one more time.”
“Is that the only reason?” Lee said teasingly.
“Hmm, not quite ...” She pulled him closer again and gave him a long kiss. “Just come back to me, all right?”
“Always.” Lee said quietly.
A lone tear escaped Alicia's eye. She quickly wiped it away, but Lee had already seen it.
“What's wrong?”
Alicia swallowed. “John is dead.”
Lee stared at her, not able to say anything for the moment. Again the image of his father lying in his blood in CIC flashed through his mind. So many people had died this day, people he worked with, his friends ... he prayed his father wouldn't be one of them.
“I'm sorry.” He pressed out. “How is Layne doing?”
“Not so good. One of the nurses gave her something to calm down and she's asleep now.”
“He was a good man.” Lee knew he sounded lame. He just was never good in situations like this.
“He was. ... Promise me you'll come back.”
“Ali ...”
“Just promise me, Lee. So much has happened today ... I can't be there for Nia, Layne and your Dad when I also have to keep worrying about you.” She hated how desperate her voice sounded. She knew she was being pathetic once again.
“This isn't really a very dangerous mission. So don't worry. I'll be back.” Lee smiled at her encouragingly and pulled her close to him again.
“Galactica, Apollo. We are preparing to jump to Kobol.” Lee reported. He was sitting next to Racetrack in one of the raptors.
“Roger that Apollo. You are cleared to jump. And good hunting.” Dee responded over the wireless. Lee was grateful it was Dee he was talking to. After all the confrontations he had had today with Tigh he didn't think he could speak one more word with that man without biting his head off.
“Thank you, Galactica.” He turned to the other people in the raptor. “Let's go find our people.”
With that the two raptors jumped away from the fleet, back to Kobol.
“I got a transponder signal.” Racetrack reported only a few moments after they reached the orbit of Kobol. “Definitely colonial. Trying to establish a lock.” She pushed a few buttons. “Got it. Northern hemisphere. Looks like Mountainous terrain. There's a valley.”
“Take us out of orbit. Signal Raptor two to form up on us.” Lee ordered. He hoped their men were still near the Raptor. He hoped they were still alive.
“ETA?” He asked as they descended down to the planet.
“Five minutes.” Racetrack replied.
No one spoke a word for the next few minutes. Everyone waited for any sign of survivors. Lee scanned the area they were flying over for the crashed raptor.
Suddenly Racetrack called out in shock. “Missiles! There's a battery down there.”
“Evasive! Break, break, break.” Lee shouted.
The missiles missed them only by a few inches. Lee let out a relieved breath. So much for this not being a dangerous mission.
“No lock. No lock! They're not locking on us.” Racetrack called out, sounding as relieved as Lee felt.
That's when they saw the Cylons on the ground … firing at their missing crewmembers.
“It's time to shoot some missiles of our own.” Lee said. With a grim smile he began firing the missiles at the Cylons. It was a direct hit and the Cylons were all dead within seconds.
When they descended more to look out for their friends, they saw Chief Tyrol looking gratefully at the raptor.
“You're welcome.” Lee smiled.
”Chief, it's good to see you again.” Lee greeted the other man, holding out his hand.
“It's good to see you too, Apollo.” Tyrol said relieved, shaking his hand. “I didn't think we would ever get of this gods forsaken planet again.”
“Sorry it took us so long. There … were some complications.” Lee cleared his throat. Once again he had to push away the thoughts of his father. There was time for that later. “So, what happened down here?”
Tyrol didn't reply anything at first. He only held several dog tags for Lee to take. “This frakking planet cost us more lives than it's worth.” He whispered.
“That's a hell of a butcher's bill, Chief.” Lee sighed. He hesitated a moment before he went on. “How did Crashdown die?”
”Leading the charge.” Baltar cut in before Tyrol could reply. “He gave his life in the finest tradition in the service.”
“Yeah. He was a hero. To the end.” Tyrol agreed after a moment. There was a bitter tone in his voice, but Lee figured with everything that had happened that was to be expected. He watched Baltar walk away, once again talking to himself. Shaking his head, he wondered how this man always came to be one of the survivors? He didn't appear like a very courageous man. If anyone had asked him, Lee would have never thought possible that Baltar could survive a Cylon attack and a raptor crash on a Cylon planet. But he had … unlike Crashdown, who had been a warrior. And a friend. Just one more person Lee had lost today.
Images of Kara and his father flashed through his mind and he closed his eyes to force them back. There was nothing he could do now for either for them.
“Apollo, it's good to have you back.” Dualla greeted Lee when she saw him walking through a corridor.
“ Dee , hi. I wasn't gone that long.”
“Long enough.” She sighed.
The expression in her eyes spoke volumes. “What happened?”
“He declared martial law.”
“What?” Lee called out. “This frakking …” He bit his lip, stopping himself from saying anything else. “This is just great.”
“What's gonna happen now?” Dee asked quietly.
“I don't know … but if Tigh keeps going on like this, we won't need the Cylons to kill us off.”
Alicia had only woken up a few seconds ago, but already she felt her stomach going upside down. Holding her hand in front of her mouth, she jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom. With a moan she doubled over the toilet, emptying the contents of her stomach. After a few moments of convulsing, she let out a deep sigh and collapsed against the wall.
“Frak.” She said loudly, banging her fist on the ground.
“Frak Mommy.” Nia called out laughing from the door.
Sighing Alicia closed her eyes. “That’s a bad word, Nia. You’re not supposed to say it.” She said weakly.
“Bad Mommy.”
“Yes, sweetheart, bad mommy.” Alicia let her head fall back against the wall. This couldn’t be happening. Not now ...
“Apollo, Sir, can I talk to you?” Cally called when she saw Lee walking down the corridor. She was glad to find him on duty, this way there were no marines following him to make sure he went straight back to his cell after his shift. This was just one more reason for her to despise the Colonel. After everything Lee Adama had done for the fleet, he didn’t deserve to be treated like this. And neither did the Chief.
“What’s up, Cally?”
“Tigh is holding Chief Tyrol as a prisoner. He’s been questioning him for over an hour. And you and I know how this questioning looks like when it’s Tigh asking the questions. The Chief did nothing wrong. He saved us on Kobol and now he’s getting punished for falling in love with the wrong woman. That’s not fair.”
“You’re right, that’s not fair. But there’s really nothing I can do. Tigh isn’t going to listen to me if it doesn’t concern CAG duties.” Lee looked at her apologetically. He wished he could help the Chief but other than help him break out of prison he had no idea what do to. And a prison break wouldn’t really solve anything. Would it?
“He called for Baltar to help him. Who knows what he’s going to do? I don’t trust him.” Cally said desperately.
“He’s probably just going to use his Cylon detector.” Lee tried to calm her.
“Which we know doesn’t work. And so does Tigh.”
Lee let out a deep sigh. “I’ll try to talk to him. But I can’t promise anything.”
“Thanks.” Cally smiled at him gratefully.
Deep in thought, Lee stepped into the briefing room. He couldn’t stop thinking about Cally’s words. Tigh was interrogating Tyrol ... only because he had had a relationship with Boomer. He had declared martial law and he was treating the other ships as if Galactica didn’t need them. He was drunk all the time. He did a good job hiding it, but Lee knew him good enough by now to notice it.
When he stood behind the podium and looked at his pilots, he was startled to see all of them standing at straight attention, saluting him. All his pilots. There wasn’t one among them who stood slumped down or showed even the remotest sign of disrespect. Surprised he returned the salute.
“At ease.” He said quietly. He tried to hide his smile when he watched them taking their seats. He had never seen them all so devoted to their job. Most of them had only joined the military after the attacks and military regulations had never been ingrained in them. It made him proud to see them all like this today. Maybe he wasn’t such a bad CAG after all, he thought smiling to himself.
He began the briefing and informed them all about the latest changes to the schedule and the situation of the fleet. There wasn’t much new to tell and he came to the end fairly quickly.
“And I got a note from combat warning about problems with tylium resupply. So watch your fuel burn till further notice. Questions?”
“Yeah, when, uh, when are you coming back to the card game?” Ritchie, one of the pilots, asked.
Lee tried to hide his smile at hearing this question. It was nice being missed. “I'm afraid when I'm off duty I'll be enjoying the intimate surroundings of the brig until ...” He hesitated a second. He had no idea how long Tigh was planning to keep him in the brig. Until his father would wake up? And if he didn’t wake up, would Tigh just airlock him then for treason? Or just keep him in the brig for the rest of his life? “Ah, well, until further notice.”
“Come on back. We miss you, Captain.” Hotdog said.
“We could bring the game to you.” Ritchie suggested.
“Somehow I doubt Colonel Tigh would approve.” Lee smirked.
“Oh come on.”
“One's going on tomorrow night!” Hotdog said grinning. Several pilots started talking and tried to convince him to join in the game.
“Hey, all right, all right.” Lee was flattered, but he knew this was senseless. Tigh would never let them in the brig and he wasn’t able to join them in the rec room. “Hey! Knock it off! The briefing is over. Enjoy the game tonight. And good hunting.”
With that Lee left the room. Two marines were already waiting for him to accompany him to the brig.
“Morning, Sir.” Harris, one of the marines greeted him.
“Sergeant. Shall we?” Lee said and lead the way to the brig.
“Morning, Sir.” Dee had appeared at his side.
“Morning, Dee. Fancy meeting you here.” Lee smiled at her. They had met at the same place every day since his parole began.
“I was just on my way, Sir. Hey, guys.” She waved to the marines who greeted her smiling. They were already used to seeing her at the CAG’s side these days.
“How's it going, Dee?” Harris asked her.
“Good, thanks.” Dee smiled back at him before she turned her attention to Lee.
“How’s it going in the fleet?” Lee asked. He was glad Dee had started giving him the heads up on the fleet status. It was more reliable than what he learned from Tigh.
“Trouble’s brewing.”
“Oh, I'm shocked.” Lee smirked. “What kind of trouble?”
“Martial law isn't going down too well. Protests, demonstrations. Some ships are even refusing to resupply Galactica.” Dee told him.
“And this is the honeymoon period. What's a dictator to do?”
Dee had to chuckle at this but she got serious again quickly. “I, um, I wish... I wish you were in command, Sir.”
“Dee...” Lee felt uncomfortable at her words.
“He's hitting the bottle. A lot.” Dee went on. She didn’t need to say who she was talking about.
Lee didn’t reply to her remark. There wasn’t really anything he could do. Tigh was in command and he would stay in command until his father would wake up again. When he would wake up again ... Lee pushed those thoughts out of his mind and turned his attention back to Dualla. They had reached the brig by now.
“Thank you for the company, Petty Officer Dualla.”
“You're welcome, Sir.”
Nervously Alicia stood in Cottle’s office. She could see Nia playing with Layne through the window. She could see her friend was not feeling any better, but she managed to put up a good facade for her daughter and the patients. She admired her for that. She didn’t think she could just go on like this if she had just lost Lee. Gods, she had tried to take her own life the last time she had thought Lee was dead. She had been terrified to go on without him, to raise Nia without him. She wasn’t even sure she could take care of herself anymore; taking care of her daughter was scaring her to death. And taking care of another child ...
“You wanted to talk to me?” Cottle said as he stepped into the room.
“Yes, uhm ...” She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “I think I might be pregnant.”
“I see.” Cottle replied, putting back the cigarette he had been just about to light up. “We’ll do a test, then we’ll know more.”
“That’s it?”
“There’s nothing more to discuss until we know if you’re pregnant or not.” Cottle shrugged. He walked out of the room and motioned her to follow him. Hesitantly Alicia left the room behind him.
Smiling, Lee watched Alicia and Nia walk into the brig. He got up from his rack and walked to the bars.
“Hey you two.” He greeted them.
“Hi.” Through the bars Alicia gave him a kiss. She tried not to be disappointed that he pulled away again after a second. She knew he didn’t like to show affection with other people in the room, especially if these other people included the President of the Colonies. Those few hours after his father had been shot, when he had kissed her and hugged her without caring who saw it, had only been an exception, she knew that.
“Hi Nia.” Lee had knelt down and gently stroked through his daughter’s hair.
“Hi Daddy. Miss me?”
Lee swallowed. “Every second.” He smiled at his daughter. “But you know I wasn’t really gone, right? You don’t have to miss me. When you want to see me, you can always come here.”
“Home, Daddy.” Nia said, pulling on his sleeve.
“I wish I could, pumpkin, I wish I could.” He cleared his throat and looked at the President who was watching them intently. She gave him a comforting smile and held up too small bags.
“Chamalla and licorice. Would you like some?” She asked smiling.
“I hate liquorice.” Lee replied.
“Me too.” Roslin sighed. “How about you, little lady?”
Questioning Nia looked at her father.
“I’m sure you’ll like it. Just go and take some.” He encouraged his daughter.
“And say thanks.” Alicia reminded her daughter. After making her daughter say frak this morning, she figured it couldn’t hurt to start teaching her these things at an early age.
Smiling Lee watched his daughter go to Roslin before he got up again and looked at his wife. “How's my father today?”
“The same. He's sedated. Resting comfortably since the surgery.” Alicia replied quietly.
“You saw him today?”
“I’m with him as often as I can, Lee. I ... I was in sickbay right before we came here.”
Lee smiled at her gratefully. Then he turned his attention back on his daughter. Thoughtfully he watched her eating the licorice with a happy smile.
“How’s Nia doing with all this?” He asked quietly.
“She misses you. She got used to having you around more often.”
“I miss her too. Both of you.” Lee took her hand as he spoke.
“How long is he planning to keep you in here?”
“He won’t let me out before my father wakes up. And after that ... I don’t know. If Tigh gets what he wants, I’ll stay in here forever.”
“Your father will never let it come to that, you know that.”
“First he needs to wake up.”
“Lee ...” Alicia stopped herself. She had wanted to tell Lee about her talk with Cottle, but somehow she couldn’t say the words. She still didn’t have her results. She had left sickbay right after the test. She knew she was just postponing the inevitable, but as long as she didn’t know for sure, she could still hope for the test to be negative.
“What is it?” Lee asked, cutting into her thoughts.
“Hmm?”
“You looked like you wanted to say something.”
“Oh, yeah, uhm ... It’s time for Nia to get her lunch. We’re meeting Mathilda in the mess. I hope she’s still hungry after the licorice.” She smiled at him warmly before she called for her daughter. “Come on, Nia, time to go.” She turned back to Lee. “I’ll see you later.”
“Good Morning, Dee.”
“Morning, Sir.”
Lee made sure to walk a few steps ahead of the marines. He didn’t want them to overhear his conversation with Dee today. Because today he had some important things to discuss with her. He had been lying awake most of the night, trying to think about the right thing to do. And it had all come back on one thing – he couldn’t do anything from the position he was in right now. And neither could Roslin. So they needed to find a way out.
“Dee, yesterday you said you wished I was in command. Now, I’m not planning to take over Tigh’s position, but ...” He stopped and looked hesitantly at Dee. He wasn’t sure if it was right to pull her into this. She had already done so much to help him. He didn’t want her to get into any trouble.
“Whatever you have in mind, Sir, I’d be happy to help you. I’d do anything to get us out of this situation.” Dee told him smiling.
“That’s good to know.” Lee said relieved. He knew he could count on her.
“So, what’s the plan?”
“Madam President. Captain.” Billy greeted them nodding.
“Billy, any news?” Roslin asked worried. She could read in his eyes that something had happened.
“Nothing good.” Billy replied quietly.
“Nothing’s good nowadays. What happened.?”
“There has been a riot on the Gideon. Tigh sent in the marines, four civilians died.” Billy reported.
Roslin shook her head in disgust. “Troops shooting unarmed civilians. This is a travesty. He has truly stepped over the line. It'll cause an explosion in the fleet. The press will have a field day.
The ships would begin to splinter. The Cylons will be able to eliminate us a few ships at a time.” Determinedly she turned to Lee. “We've got to get out of here now.”
“I am right with you.” Lee replied.
“I'm so glad you said that. I want to take Billy and Elosha with me.”
“Of course you do. I've worked out a way of getting us in the hangar deck. And I can get us a raptor. But we're still gonna need clearance to get off the ship.”
“I know how to get that.” Roslin said
“You do?” Lee was only half surprised. He had known he wasn’t the only one thinking about a way to get out of here.
“Mm-hmm. Question is, where do we go once we get off this ship?” Roslin asked. “We'll have to find some place to hide in the fleet while we rally support among the people.”
Lee let out a deep sigh. Now they came to the part of the plan he disliked the most. “I've got an idea about that. You're not going to like it.”
“Madam President.” Absentmindedly Alicia greeted Roslin when she saw her coming out of Cottle’s office. Layne had told her that Cottle had asked for her. He would tell her if she was pregnant or not. Alicia felt like she would throw up again any second. She had postponed talking to Cottle all day yesterday. She knew it wouldn’t make any difference when she found out ... she was just afraid to hear the answer.
“Mrs. Adama.” Roslin nodded at her. She had almost walked passed her, when she stopped and turned to Alicia again. “Alicia ... is it okay if I call you that?”
“Of course.” Alicia looked at her surprised.
“I ... I just wanted to tell you how proud I am to work with your husband. I wouldn’t know what to do without him.”
“I know what you mean.” Alicia laughed nervously.
“He loves you very much. I can see that clearly whenever he talks about you.”
Alicia didn’t know what to reply to that. She wasn’t used to talking so privately with the President.
“Just remember, whatever he does, he does it to keep you and your daughter safe.” Roslin said with an earnest smile.
“I ... I know.” Alicia stammered. She suddenly felt uncomfortable talking to Roslin.
“Well, I have to go. The brig is waiting.” Roslin had spoken lightly, but there was a glimmer of sadness in her eyes . “I will... see you later.”
Confused, Alicia watched her walk away before she stepped into Cottle’s office. She pushed her thoughts about this strange conversation out of her mind and concentrated on what Cottle was about to tell her.
“It’s about time you showed up.” Cottle greeted her grumpy.
“I’m sorry, uhm ... something came up and ...” She stopped, not really knowing what to say.
Cottle saw the question in her eyes. “The test was positive. You’re pregnant.”
“Oh ...”
“You know what that means?”
Confused she looked at him. “Of course I do. I’m getting a baby.”
“If you decide to keep the baby, you will have to stop taking your medication.”
“But ...” A sudden panic spread through her. “If I stop taking the medication, then ...” Helplessly she looked at Cottle.
“You’re only other option is to terminate the pregnancy. It’s your decision.” Cottle felt for the young woman in front of him. He could only imagine how she must feel right now. “You should discuss this with your husband. ... And I wouldn’t wait too long with that.” He added sadly.
“I ... I will. Thank you, uhm, I talk to Lee and then ...”
“Alicia, don’t wait too long talking with him. It would be best if you go to him right now.” Cottle urged her.
“But I still have a few weeks, don’t I? I don’t have to decide now.”
“No, but ... your husband should know about this as soon as possible. This is his child too.”
“Yes, of course.” Alicia nodded absentmindedly and got up. Without saying anything else she left the office.
Silently Lee stood next to his father’s bed. He had sneaked into sickbay a few minutes ago. He was sure some of the nurses had seen him and he knew they had the order to report any visit to Tigh and stop him from seeing his father, but none of them had done so. He was more than grateful for that. He couldn’t have just left without seeing his father this one time. He wondered if he would ever see him again. If his father even wanted to see him again, once this was all over. Would he understand? From the look he had thrown his way in CIC he didn’t think his father would ever forgive him. He might have forgiven him his actions on Colonial One, but this ... he would see it as a betrayal, Lee was sure of that. He just hoped he would only see it as a betrayal between Captain and Commander, not father and son.
“I'm sure you won't approve. But I guess that's nothing new. I just want you to know that this, um... this isn't about you and me. Good-bye, dad.”
He squeezed his father’s hand tightly. For a second it felt as if his father returned the squeeze. It was weak and hardly noticeable, but Lee told himself that his father might have heard him. And maybe he would remember his words when he woke up.
Alicia had been walking through Galactica’s corridors most of the day. She had checked on her daughter for a short while, but most of the time she had been alone. She needed to think. What was she supposed to tell Lee? They had never talked about more children. After what had happened after Nia had been born, she hadn’t even thought about having another child. Was she really prepared for a new baby? Was Lee? They were on the run from the Cylons, they didn’t know what kind of future was awaiting them. If they had a future at all. Was it even right to bring another child into this world?
Hesitantly she stood in front of the brig. It was now or never. Lee had a right to know about this. She forced herself to open the hatch and enter.
“Don’t bother, he’s not in there.”
Surprised she turned around and saw Tigh standing before her. “I thought his shift was already over.”
“Don’t act like you don’t know anything about this. Believe me, as soon as I find even the smallest proof that you were helping him, I’ll throw you into one of these cells and I don’t care whose daughter-in-law you are.”
“What are you talking about?” Confused Alicia looked at Tigh.
“Your husband helped Roslin to break out of here. They left Galactica and are now on the run.”
“Wh-what?” Terrified Alicia stared at him. This couldn’t be true. Lee wouldn’t just leave like this. Not without talking to her about it before. He couldn’t be gone. Not now.
Without looking at Tigh, she stepped into the brig and walked straight to Lee’s cell. It was empty.
Suddenly Cottle’s and Roslin’s words came back to her mind.
Don’t wait too long talking with him. It would be best if you go to him right now.
Just remember, whatever he does, he does it to keep you and your daughter safe.
She suddenly felt weak and leaned on the wall for balance. Lee was gone. He had left her alone. Sobbing she slid down the wall, holding her hands before her face. She hated that Tigh saw her like this, but she wasn’t strong enough to do anything against it. Crying she sat on the floor, not knowing what to do now.
Chapter 21
Quietly Adama sat in his quarters. He would return to CIC in a few minutes. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for it, but for the sake of his crew, his family, he had to pretend he was. He didn’t remember much of the last time he was in CIC ... when he had been shot by one of his most trusted pilots. He didn’t remember talking to her right before it happened, he didn’t remember the shots or the pain afterwards. Though he was pretty sure he was dreaming of it every night. He hadn’t slept very well since he had woken up in sickbay a week ago.
The only thing he remembered was Lee, standing in CIC, handcuffed. He remembered the look of uncertainty in his son’s eyes and he remembered the anger. His own as well as Lee’s. He would never forget that look in Lee’s eyes. It wasn’t the same anger he had seen after Zak’s death. This was different. Lee hadn’t only been angry at his father, he had been angry at his Commander as well. Angry ... and disappointed, disillusioned even. And somehow that was even worse.
This feeling suddenly made Adama furious. Lee had no right to feel angry at him. He wasn’t the one who had committed mutiny against this own flesh and blood. Lee had betrayed him. Instead of talking with him about his doubts, he had sided with Roslin and threatened his commanding officer. He didn’t think that Lee would have pulled the trigger, but the fact alone that he had raised his gun against Tigh made him a traitor. His own son ... a traitor. He would have never thought this was possible.
A little voice in his mind told him that Lee hadn’t been the only one who had made mistakes that day. He himself had tried to overthrow the government in an illegal act. He had boarded the President’s ship and had thrown her in the brig ... probably not one of his wisest moves. But he pushed those thoughts in the back of his mind. It didn’t matter what he had done; Lee had betrayed him and that was all that mattered. If he had decided to side with Roslin, then she could keep him. He didn’t need a son like that.
His heart broke at that thought. He could tell himself as often as he wanted to that he didn’t need his son, deep down he knew that wasn’t true. Did Lee know that too? He asked himself when was the last time he had told his son he loved him. Had he ever said the words? He couldn’t remember.
When he stepped into CIC, everyone greeted him with applause. It filled his heart with pride. He saluted and shook as many hands as he could. When it got too much for him, he raised his hands to stop the applause and spoke in as strong a voice as he could muster.
“Thank you. Thank you very much. I'm glad to be back.” He looked around CIC and watched his crew for a moment. “There are things we don't say often enough. Things like what we mean to one another. All of you mean a lot to me. I just want you to know that. Let's get back to work.”
As everyone in CIC applauded him for his words, Adama tried to ignore the feeling that he wanted to say those words not to his crew, but to his son.
He noticed Tigh standing next to him again and started speaking quietly. “I feel strange. Like ...” He paused for a moment. “... closer to the ground.”
“You should check in with the doctor.” Tigh replied worriedly. He had been relieved at first when Adama had told him he was coming back, but seeing him now he wondered if it wasn’t still too early.
Adama ignored him. He couldn’t afford to show any weaknesses now. He had been weak before. If he had been harder, stronger, then maybe Lee would have followed his orders instead of going against them. If he had been a better father, would Lee have still done the same? Again that thought send a stab of pain through his heart. He couldn’t think like that now. There were more important things. But it was harder than he thought to push his son out of his mind. This had been easier before the attacks, when Lee wasn’t that big a part of his life. And he felt guilty for that too.
He had always been proud to know about everything that went on on his ship. Lee was now a part of the Galactica and yet he hardly knew anything about his son. Frak, right now he didn’t even know where he was. And he needed to know at least that. He wasn’t sure why, but not knowing his son’s whereabouts scared him. He needed to know where he was.
“Mr Gaeta, where do you think they are now?” He told himself that he had only asked because of military reasons. They needed to find Lee and Roslin and end this all. And of course it would be nice if he could give some answers to his daughter-in-law who was desperate to have her husband back. There were lots of reasons why he needed to know the location of Lee. None of it had to do with Lee being his son.
“The stolen Raptor with Captain Adama, the former President..” Gaeta started but Tigh interrupted him sharply.
“The fugitives!”
Adama flinched slightly at this word. His son was a fugitive.
“The fugitives ... “ Gaeta rolled his eyes as he continued. “... docked at Cloud Nine last week. We effectively lost them at that point due to the large volume of inter-fleet traffic going to and from Cloud Nine.”
“Right now they could be holed up anywhere in the fleet.” Tigh said gruffly.
“I want them found.” Adama said with more force than he had anticipated. He quickly regained his composure. “She was dangerous enough as a symbol of resistance, but now with Lee helping ....”
He stopped. It was the first time he had spoken his son’s name out loud since he had woken up. Alicia had actually accused him of not saying his name. She had screamed at him just this morning that he wasn’t doing enough to get him back. That he didn’t want to have him back. But that wasn’t true. Of course he wanted him back. He was his son.
Adama could feel the tears brimming in his eyes. Gods, what was wrong with him. He was a military leader. He wasn’t supposed to cry in CIC. He wasn’t supposed to cry at all; especially not about a traitor. Clearing his throat he went on. “I want to search every ship in the fleet. Quarantine Procedures. Isolate the ship out of the main body. If it’s clean, we keep it quarantined away from the rest of the fleet. She can hide but she can't run.” He refused to say Roslin’s name. He told himself that it wasn’t necassary. Everyone knew who he was talking about. He didn’t need to say her name out loud.
Staring at the empty wall in front of her, Alicia sat in Cottle’s office. She felt tired. For a week now she had tried to go through with it. She had tried to be strong. Since she had found out about her pregnancy, she hadn’t taken any more medications. She could feel the changes. It was harder to get out of bed every morning, she had trouble concentrating on her work. At some times during the day she felt as if she was full of energy and she had so many ideas but never went through with any of them. Then she felt tired again, exhausted. She couldn’t even really care for her daughter. Most of the time Mathilda was looking after her.
After the first day she had wanted to talk to Elosha. When she had been told that Elosha was on the run with Roslin and Lee, she had wanted to scream. It felt like all the people she had relied on had left her. She couldn’t talk to Layne ... she was still mourning her husband, it didn’t feel right to burden her with her problems. And she didn’t want to talk to Mathilda. She was already taking care of her child, she didn’t want her to start taking care of her too. But she needed to talk to someone. And when a woman from the Geminon Travelor had suggested another priest, Alicia had been more than grateful.
Brother Cavil came to see her every day since then. He was different than Elosha, but she trusted him. But even if it had felt good talking to him, he hadn’t been able to help her. She was feeling worse every day and she had no idea when Lee would be back. If he would be back at all. She hadn’t heard anything from him and it was driving her crazy. This morning she had screamed at her father-in-law and she had nearly screamed at Nia too. It had taken all her willpower to stay calm with her. She was afraid the next time she wouldn’t be that strong.
So she had made a decision. She didn’t really have another choice.
“Alicia, how are you?” Cottle asked as he stepped inside the office.
“What do you think?” She replied bitter. “I’ve made up my mind. I ... want to terminate.”
“Are you sure? You haven’t even had a chance to talk about this with your husband ...”
“Lee isn’t here. Who knows when he will be back. I can’t wait that long. This will have to happen now. And Lee will never know.”
“This is his child too.” Cottle pointed out.
“It’s my body. That makes it my decision. I need the medication, you know that. So ...” She swallowed down the lump in her throat before she continued. “ ... when can you do it?”
“I can schedule you first thing in the morning.” Cottle said quietly. “But you might want to think about this some more. You ...”
“I thought about it for a whole week, Doctor.” Alicia interrupted him determinedly. “I won’t change my mind. Just get it over with.”
Freezing Lee stood with Roslin, Zarek and Elosha just outside of a meat locker on the Kimba Huta. It wasn’t the most comfortable hiding place, but he didn’t think anyone would find them here anytime soon.
They were talking again about what they should do next. The Quorum still hadn’t decided to openly support Roslin, so she was determined to make an appeal of some kind to the people. They were almost done with the meeting when Zarek turned to Lee.
“One more bit of news I should convey. Zeus has returned to Olympus. Adama is back in command.”
“My father, he's, uhm ... back?” Lee asked shocked. A small smile slipped through the mask he had been wearing over the last few week. He suppressed it quickly, he didn’t want Zarek to see what this information meant to him.
“Word just came in over the wireless.” Zarek explained.
“He's a tough old bird.” Roslin smiled relieved.
Lee walked a few steps away from them. He needed to be alone right now. His father would be all right. The whole week he had been worried about him. They had heard several rumors the past few days. Some said his father had died, but he had refused to believe that.
His father was alive and on the way to recovery, back in command even. That meant his family wasn’t alone. Alicia could look after his father and he after her. They would be okay.
“What we really need is something heart felt.”
Startled Lee looked up when Zarek started speaking again. He had almost forgotten he wasn’t alone in the room.
“Something human and personal that will galvanise the people.” Zarek continued. “Like a son ...” He looked at Lee excpactantly. “... denouncing his father.”
Half an hour later Lee found himself standing in front of an old tape recorder. He couldn’t believe that Roslin had actually talked him into this. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat before he began to read the message.
“My name is Lee Adama. Until recently I was the Commander of Galactica's Air Group but when Commander Adama, my father ...” He swallowed, not sure if he could really go through with this. He forced himself to go on. “... decided to stage a major military coup against the President, I could no longer support him ... or his actions.” He paused again. This was more painful than he had anticipated. If his father didn’t already feel betrayed by his former actions, he would definitly feel betrayed after hearing this. He could feel everyone watching him closely. He knew Roslin was counting on him. Taking another deep breath, he continued. “I love my father. I respect him. But in this he is wrong. He must be opposed. I call on all free thinking people in the fleet, I ...”
Lee stopped. He couldn’t do this to his father. He might have been able to two months ago, but now, after everything that had happened ... He just couldn’t. He stopped the recording and took the tape out. Then he turned to the others. “I can't do this. Sorry everyone. I thought I could but I can't.”
He started to walk away, when Roslin called for him.
“Captain Apollo, please wait.”
Sighing Lee stopped and turned back to her. “I won’t do it.”
“I understand that. You ...”
“With all due respect, Madam President, but you don’t understand anything.” Lee hissed through clenched teeth. He could feel the anger well up in him. He had kept these feelings for himself all week and right now he just wanted to let them out. He wanted her to understand.
Roslin was taken aback by the anger she saw in Lee’s eyes. “Captain, what is this about?”
“It’s about you.”
“Me?” Surprised Roslin looked at him. This was not what she had accepted.
“I made a choice back on Colonial One to support democracy and the office of the President. I knew I was betraying my oath and my father. But you didn’t back my play.” Lee looked at her, the disappointment he had felt back then was clearly visible on his face. “You folded. You gave up withouth a fight. Well, my father is back on his feet and I will not be the one to knock him down. Not again.This is your fight, Madam President, and you need to fight it.”
Roslin looked at him with a raised eyebrow. How dare he accuse her of not fighting? “Perhaps in the future, you will more carefully think through the consequences before committing yourself.”
She had refused to look at Lee as she spoke. But when she turned to him again, she could see the pain in his eyes and she suddenly realized that he was right. He had given up everything to fight for her. He had betrayed his father, jeapordized his career and left his family. He had risked so much and she had let him down. At the time, she had only wanted to save lifes. She had thought it was the best to just give in.
She had always thought of herself as a though person. It was time she started to act like one again. It was time she started to fight. She had been afraid to take this step, but she realized that it was the only way.
“I'm playing the religious card. I know exactly what I have to do.”
Smiling Zarek handed Roslin another tape. He would have enjoyed Lee denouncing his father, but he could use this to his own advantage as well.
Hesitantely Roslin stood in front of the tape recorder. “How does this thing work?”
Hesitantly Alicia knocked on Adama’s hatch.
“Come in.” She heard his gruff voice.
Slowly she opened the hatch and walked in. “Uhm, William ... Commander, can I talk to you for a moment?”
Surprised Adama looked up. “We’re back to Commander know?”
Alicia smiled nervously. “No, I just ... after this morning ... I just wanted to apologize. The way I was behaving ...”
“We are all under a lot of stress.” Adama interruped her quietly. “I know that this is a difficult situation for you. For all of us.”
Alicia bit her lip and looked uncomfortably on the ground before she spoke again. “The last week has been hard, but ... It won’t happen again. I ... haven’t been feeling well the last week, but I’ll be okay again in a few days.”
She saw the question in Adama’s eyes and tried to think of anything to make him forget about it. She only came here to apologize; she didn’t want to discuss anything else with him. “I heard Roslin’s speech.”
“As did the whole fleet.” Adama sighed.
“You think anyone will follow her?”
“No one will. She’s crazy.” Adama replied harshly.
“Lee followed her. And he is not a religious man.”
“Lee is ...” Adama stopped. He wished he could understand Lee’s motives for following Roslin. But then again, he had never really understood his son.
Zarek had offered that they’d jump to Kobol on the Astral Queen. They couldn’t be sure that the Captain of the Kimba Huta would make the jump, even though he had assured them that he was a strong follower of Roslin.
They would jump in a few minutes and Zarek had insisted that Roslin spoke with the passengers, as he’d called them, of the Astral Queen. Lee was following them down a corridor to the main room of the ship. He couldn’t forget his earlier conversation with Roslin. Her words that he should think more thouroghly about the consequences of his actions, his commitments before he did anything wouldn’t leave his mind. He usually thought through everything he does. And the few times he didn’t .... the consequences usually turned out harder to live with than expected.
When he had slept with Kara in the academy, he hadn’t thought about the consequences. He had been ready to comit himself to her, no matter what. He had followed his feelings only to have them crushed the next morning. She didn’t return the feelings he had for her, in fact, as it turned out, she loved his little brother. At the time he had thought he could just forget about it, but he couldn’t. And as a consequence, every woman he met he compared to her. But no one was like her.
And then he had met Alicia. She was so different from Kara as anyone could be. And she loved him. He allowed himself to love her too and they had this easy relationship he had always yearned for. And then she had gotten pregnant and he had freaked. He couldn’t think straight. The only thing he could think of was that he had to do the right thing. And that was marrying her. He had committed himself to spend the rest of his life with her, to take care of her and their child because it was the right thing to do. At the time he had thought it was the right decision.
When he had raised his gun to Tigh’s head, he knew he had committed himself to Roslin. He would follow her wherever that would lead him ... which were straight to the brig as it turned out. But that hadn’t changed his commitment. It had only been a rock on the street blocking his path ... He wouldn’t back out of it just as he would never back out of his commitment to Alicia. He had made his decisions and he would live with the consequences. And he wanted her to know that.
“Madam President?” He called for her.
“Yes?”
“I just want you to know, whatever happens, I’ll still watch your back.” He said hesitantly.
Roslin smiled at him warmly. “Was there ever a question?”
Relieved Lee watched her turn around again and follow Zarek to the main room. There wasn’t much that could shake his believe in her ... and it seemed it was the same for her. Somehow it felt good having someone believing in him so strongly, without doubting him.
One hour later Lee stood on the bridge of the Astral Queen. Twenty four ships had followed them to Kobol. That was almost a third of the fleet, much more than he had anticipated. He wondered what his father was thinking right now.
He shook his head. They were back at Kobol ... and now what? Were they just going to wait for Kara to return? From a Cylon occupied, radiated planet? He closed his eyes. Thinking of her was just too painful. The chances that she was still alive after all this time were just too small. He could feel the tears brimming in his eyes. He was sure Kara was dead. He would never see her again, never fight with her again, he would never get the chance to apologize to her ... he would never get the chance to tell her what she meant to him. He would never get the chance to commit himself to her ... even if it was only as a friend.
Chapter 22
When Kara made the last jump back to Kobol, she was more than relieved to find the fleet still there. After everything that had happened to her on Kobol, it was good to know that it hadn’t been for nothing. The fleet hadn’t left. She would see her friends again, her family … she would see Lee again.
It took her a few moments to notice that there were only civilian ships waiting in the orbit. There was no sign of Galactica, no vipers patrolling the ships. And the fleet looked a lot smaller than when she had left.
Her heart seemed to stop when she thought of the reasons why Galactica and most of the fleet wasn’t there. Had they been destroyed?
Immediately she felt the guilt raise inside of her. She had abandoned them. She had taken the Raider and jumped away, not thinking about what might happen to the fleet. She had just run away.
“Didn’t you say there were over fifty ships left?” Helo asked surprised when he saw the fleet in front of them.
His question pulled Kara out of her haze. “Yeah … I did.” She cleared her throat and picked up the radio. “Civilian vessels, civilian vessels. This is Starbuck. Do you read?”
She held her breath when she didn’t get a response. Was there even anyone left? “Do you read? Say again, this is Starbuck. Is anybody getting this? Hello? Hello?”
The despair was threatening to overwhelm her when she suddenly got a response.
“Starbuck, this is the Astral Queen. Prepare for docking.”
Kara didn’t even have time to wonder why it was the Astral Queen of all ships who had replied to her. She was just too happy that there were still people alive on those ships. “I told you they’d wait for us.” She said grinning to Helo.
“Yeah, but where is Galactica?” He asked quietly.
The grin faded from Kara’s face as quickly as it had appeared. “I don’t know.” She whispered. “But I guess we will find out soon.”
She just hoped she wouldn’t regret to hear the answer.
Anxiously Lee waited in the hallway. When he had heard Kara’s voice over the radio, he had thought he was dreaming. But it was really her. She had made it back. Against all probabilities she had returned home. His heart was thumping so fast, it felt like it would explode any second. He could hardly wait to see her again.
And then she was there. He saw her walking around the corner, looking as good as ever, a cocky smile on her lips. Without thinking about what he was doing, Lee quickly walked up to her and pulled her into a tight embrace. And before he knew what was happening, he kissed her. He closed his eyes and kissed her and it felt right in every possible way. He never wanted to let go of her again.
When Kara had seen Lee walking towards her, her heart leaped with joy. He was still alive. When she hadn’t seen the Galactica with the other ships, she had been scared that she had lost him forever.
When he pulled her into the embrace, she slung her arms around him, holding onto him tightly. It felt so good to be with him again, to be close to him.
And then he kissed her.
For a moment, Kara’s senses began to swim and she allowed herself to simply enjoy and drown in this kiss she had been waiting for so long. She started to return the kiss and it felt so right. But then reality kicked in … this was Lee. Her dead fiancé’s brother who was married and had a little daughter. He couldn’t be kissing her. So why was he?
Shocked Kara pulled away from him and looked at him surprised. When she looked into his eyes, she saw the same confusion in them she felt herself. Why had he kissed her? He didn’t love her, he loved his wife. And what about her? She had Sam now … she had promised him she would come back for him and here she was kissing another man.
The feeling of joy she had just felt seconds ago was replaced by a feeling of panic. She didn’t know what to do other than try to get back to what they always were – friends.
“Did you miss me?” She asked, a small smile on her lips.
Lee needed a moment to form any coherent words. Had he just really kissed Kara? He cleared his throat before he gave his answer. “Every second.”
“It’s good to see you, Captain.” She replied relieved a moment later, not able to take her eyes of him. She tried to ignore how shaken his voice had sounded … or how weak her own voice had been.
”Remind me to send you to the brig later.” Lee tried to joke. Somehow he needed to get the awkwardness out of this conversation. Kara had come back to him … he should be happy about that, not full of uncertainty how to act around her.
”Yeah, well...” Kara looked at him hesitantly. Now that they had fallen back into familiar territory she remembered that she still had important information for him. And she should better tell him soon before he found out for himself. “Lee, there's something I need to tell you. “
When she saw the warm look in his eyes suddenly turn cold and full of anger and hate, she knew she had waited too long. “Lee, wait!”
Lee hadn’t thought he could ever take his eyes of Kara again, but when he saw a movement behind her, he looked up nevertheless … and froze immediately. Flashbacks of his father getting shot right in front of him went through his mind when he saw Sharon Valerii walking down the corridor. Ignoring Kara’s words, he pushed her to the side and ran towards Sharon, grabbed her and slammed her hard against the wall.
“Don't you frakking move!” He screamed at her when she struggled against his grasp. He had pulled out his gun and held it to her face … the shots against his father ringing in his ears the whole time.
”Stop! She's with us!” Kara shouted, shocked at Lee’s harsh reaction.
She ran to Lee and tried to get him to lower his weapon, but he didn’t look at her. His eyes were transfixed at the Cylon in front of him. He didn’t even realize what was going on around him until he suddenly felt something cold on the back of his head.
”Drop your weapon, Sir.” Helo said sharply, his gun pointed at Lee. “Drop your weapon.”
”Helo!” Kara looked shocked at her friend. This couldn’t be happening. Just a few seconds ago she had been in the arms of Lee, kissing him, and now he was pointing a gun to Sharon and Helo holding his own weapon against Lee’s head. These two idiots would get themselves killed if nobody stopped them. Helplessly she looked at the other people in the room.
”Gentlemen, I'm only going to say this once.” Roslin said in a loud and determined voice. Immediately she had everyone’s attention. “Captain Adama and...what is your name?”
”Lieutenant Agathon.” Helo replied through clenched teeth. Neither he nor Lee had put their weapons down yet.
”Used to be Sharon's ECO. I thought you were dead, Helo. You a Cylon, too?” Lee hissed, not taking his eyes of Sharon. He couldn’t believe this guy was protecting a toaster.
”Don't even …” Helo began but Roslin interrupted him.
”All right, here's what we're going to do. You're going to lower your weapons. Am I being perfectly clear?” Her tone made it clear that she wasn’t going to accept any objection.
”What about Sharon?” Helo asked desperately.
”She will be taken to a holding cell where she will remain unharmed.” Roslin assured him.
Inwardly Lee cursed. How could Roslin let this thing live? She had tried to kill his father.
”Okay.” Helo agreed after a moment. “How about it, Apollo? Should we do what the nice Lady says?”
Lee took some deep breaths before he replied. He had followed Roslin so far, now wasn’t the time to go against her. ”She's the President of the Colonies, you moron. And yes, we're gonna do exactly what she says.” Lee had to practically force himself to say the words.
”Lower your weapons. Now! “ Roslin ordered.
When Lee felt that the weapon wasn’t held onto his head anymore, he immediately put down his own gun too. He kept staring at Sharon with eyes full of hatred.
“Thank you. Now put that thing out the airlock.” Roslin said coldly.
“What?” Helo exclaimed, shocked.
A satisfied smile appeared on Lee’s lips. He should have known that Roslin wouldn’t let this thing live.
Kara watched him, shocked to see him smile. She knew he had every reason to hate Cylons, they all had, but to see him like this … this wasn’t like him. Lee didn’t kill people – or Cylons – like this. Not without asking questions first. He always saw the bigger picture; Sharon could be of great value for them. Didn’t he see that? Didn’t Roslin see that?
“We don't keep Cylons around here, Lieutenant.” Roslin said, her voice still void of any emotions. But in her eyes Kara thought she saw the same satisfaction as in Lee’s.
”What the frak? You said you weren't gonna hurt her!” Helo called out.
The small smile on Lee’s lips disappeared and he looked angrily at Helo. “Hey, Helo! Listen to me! One of those things put two rounds into my father's chest.”
”It wasn't me!” It was the first time that Sharon spoke since she had stepped on the Astral Queen.
”Adama was shot?” Terrified Kara looked at Lee.
”Yes. You missed a few catastrophes while you were away.” Lee replied bitter, absentmindedly rubbing his arms.
”Please tell me he's alive.” Kara whispered. Suddenly Lee’s cold demeanor made sense to her. Sharon had shot his father … not this Sharon, but a woman who looked completely like her. Oh gods, don’t let him be dead, she prayed silently.
”After two emergency surgeries, Cottle managed to save him.” Lee replied quietly. A shudder went through his spine when he remembered how close his father had come to dying. Again he saw him lying in his blood in CIC and later in sickbay; looking so pale and weak …
He hardly heart Sharon’s screams that she was innocent or Helo’s shouts for Kara to help him. All he could hear right now was the blood rushing in his ears and the shots right before his father fell down on the ground.
”Tell them to wait a minute.”
Roslin’s words pulled him out of his haze. Stunned he stared at her. What was she doing? Then he saw the Arrow in Kara’s hands … and he understood what had happened. Kara, of all people, had convince her to safe Sharon’s life. Lee didn’t care that she might help them find the tomb or use the arrow or whatever information she had to help them find earth. She didn’t deserve to live. With hate in his eyes he turned to Kara.
”It's great to see you again, Kara. Thanks for bringing in the trash.” He hissed. Then he angrily walked away.
”Looks like we missed all the fun.” Kara replied quietly, looking at Helo with sad eyes.
Crying silently, Alicia lay on her bed. She was glad that Mathilda had agreed to take Nia for the whole day. She didn’t think she was capable of taking care of her now. She couldn’t even look at her. She had just killed her child. Lee’s child … and he would never know it even existed. Of course that was her decision. But she couldn’t tell him. It had been her choice to end this life, there was no reason to burden Lee with this. She was certain he would blame himself; she partly blamed him for it. If he had been here, then maybe … maybe she would have been strong enough to go through with it. Or maybe not … Maybe it wouldn’t have changed a thing. She wished he was here, with her. She didn’t care for Roslin’s mission, she didn’t care if they ever found earth. She just wanted to be with her family, with Lee.
She stayed in bed for hours until the silence surrounding her finally got too much. She kept hearing a baby crying … she had to put a stop to this. Letting out a frustrated cry, she punched on the button to turn on the radio. She didn’t care what was said there, but anything was better than this silence.
She hardly listened to what was said, the cries still ringing in her ears, when she suddenly heart one of the reporters saying the name Adama. Immediately she turned her full attention on the radio. Had they been found? Had Lee returned to the fleet?
She tried not to be too disappointed when the news wasn’t about Lee or the President, but about William Adama giving a speech to the fleet. She closed her eyes. She hadn’t spoken with her father-in-law about her pregnancy. He didn’t know that she had just killed his grandchild. What would he do if he ever find out?
She pushed those thoughts out of her mind and concentrated on what Adama was saying. She needed something else to think about. And maybe he had news about his son.
”We share the grief of friends lost.” Adama’s voice was heard over the radio. “And the resources we've sacrificed will present new challenges for all of us. But if we stay together, we will rise to the occasion as we have before.”
Resources, Alicia thought bitterly. That seemed all Adama was thinking about lately. Didn’t he worry about his son? Lee wasn’t just a lost resource.
She forced herself to listen to the rest of the interview. She wanted to know what else he had to say. She was hoping to hear some good news for a change, but instead Adama’s next words struck her to the core.
”We have lost no one that cannot be replaced by someone loyal... who has chosen to remain with us. This is the fleet. Thank you.”
Frozen, Alicia sat on the bed. We have lost no one that cannot be replaced? This frakking bastard! How did he want to replace Lee? She could understand that he was hurt by Lee’s actions, but to just shut him out of his life? Find a new CAG and get on with it? He was supposed to get Lee back, for himself, for Nia and for her.
With an angry cry she threw a book that had been lying on her nightstand through the room. It fell hard against her closet, so hard that the door sprang wide open; it had never really closed in the first place.
Breathing heavily Alicia stared at the locker. Her pills were in there. Her pills that were the reason that she had killed her child. But of course that wasn’t really true. It wasn’t the pills ... it was her inability to stay strong enough long enough to carry this baby to term. If she had only been stronger ... She closed her eyes and forced down the tears that were welling up in her eyes. She didn’t want to cry anymore.
A moment later she opened her eyes, got up and walked to her locker. She would have to start to take her pills at some point. She hadn’t taken one after her return from sickbay as she had been supposed to… it had felt wrong so soon after the surgery. But now she didn’t want to wait any longer.
When she opened the locker door, her eyes fell on a letter next to her pill box. Her name was written on it … in Lee’s handwriting. She stared at it for a moment, before she got it out and opened it with trembling hands.
Silently Lee stood in front of Sharon’s cell, watching her. He had listened to what Roslin had to say, why she had decided to let this Cylon live. It was supposed to help them. He didn’t care.
”I know how you feel.” Sharon said angry. She had enough of Apollo standing there and staring at her like she was some kind of animal. “I get it. But I didn't shoot him. It wasn't me.”
”You're all the same.” Lee said coldly. He wanted her to feel the same pain his father had felt when he had gotten shot by her copy.
”You don't know what the hell you're talking about.” Sharon shook her head. They would never understand…
”Then maybe I'm done talking.” Lee replied, the anger clearly audible in his voice. He pulled out his gun and pointed it at Sharon, ready to shoot her. A wave of satisfaction went through him. He would get his revenge. He was close to pull the trigger, when he felt a hand on his arm, pulling it down.
”I think there's been enough of that today.” Kara said quietly.
Lee looked at her angrily. Then he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her a few feet away from the cell. “You are the last one who should be telling me what to do. After the stunt you pulled? Stealing the Cylon raider and then tearing ass back to Caprica?”
He wanted to hurt her. He wanted to tell her how much it had hurt him to lose her like that.
”Yeah? Cause you're clearly the poster boy for military discipline, huh? You know what? You have no idea what happened to me on Caprica. So while you're standing here polishing off your halo, consider for a second that you may not have any damned idea what the hell you're talking about, Captain.” Kara was barely able to keep the anger out of her voice.
Lee glared at her for a moment. Then the air around him suddenly seemed to press down on him and he felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore. He needed to get away from here. Without saying anything else, he brushed past Kara and walked out of the room.
Letting out a frustrated breath, Kara watched him leaving. That stubborn bastard, she thought angrily.
“Thanks.” Sharon said quietly.
With fury in her eyes, Kara turned to her. “Don’t thank me. If you hadn’t helped us on Caprica, I would have pulled that trigger myself.” Without another word, Kara followed Lee out. As soon as she had closed the hatch behind her, she let out another deep breath. She didn’t know where to go now. Should she try to find Lee and talk to him? And then what, was she supposed to listen to any more insults he could come up with for her? She just wanted some peace, some quiet room where she could think clearly about everything.
Kara had been sitting in a quiet room for a while now, bouncing the pyramid ball she had gotten from Anders against the wall. She tried to think of Anders, how good she had felt with him, how easy their relationship had been. She had promised him she would come back for him. It had been so hard to leave him on Caprica… and yet, as soon as she had seen Lee, all thoughts of Anders had left her. She just wanted to be with Lee, be close to him, even though she could never be with him all the way.
As much as she tried to think of Anders, her thoughts always went back to him. She kept glancing to the door, almost hoping for him to come in. But why would he? He was still angry with her for bringing Sharon.
Maybe he would come because of the kiss? Kara pushed that thought out of her mind as soon as it had appeared. He wouldn’t come because of that. Never. He was married. Whatever that kiss had been, it hadn’t meant that he was hers now.
She should just push Lee out of her mind. She should concentrate on Anders.
She threw the ball against the wall again and this time it didn’t come bouncing back to her … it fell on the ground a few feet away. She looked at the ball for a moment. Then she took some deep breaths, picked it up and went to find Lee.
She eventually found him in the head. When she stepped into the room, she saw him standing in front of a basin, scrubbing his arms under the flowing water. She rolled her eyes. Gods, what was it with him and hygiene?
“You think being close to a Cylon makes you dirty? Or did you just forget to take a shower this morning.” She asked mockingly. Making a joke out of everything always helped.
Lee startled when he heard her voice. He wanted to turn around, but somehow he couldn’t get himself to get his arms away from the water. They still didn’t feel clean yet. For a moment he just stared at the water running over his arms, unable to do anything else.
When he didn’t turn around or didn’t even reply in any way, Kara frowned and stepped closer. “So you’re not talking to me anymore?”
“I’m just busy.” Lee mumbled.
“Yeah, I can see that.” With a raised eyebrow Kara watched him rubbing his arms while the water flowed over them. If she hadn’t known better, she would have thought he was trying to clean them from tons of dirt.
When he still didn’t turn to her or made any signs to turn off the water, she walked up to him and turned it off herself. “I think you’re clean enough, Lee.”
She had meant to tease him, but when he turned to her, her heart broke at the pained look in his eyes. His shoulders sagged down and he turned away from the basin, leaning against the wall.
“Are you okay?” She asked quietly.
“Are you?” Lee asked instead of giving an answer.
“What do you mean?” Kara looked at him uncomfortably. She didn’t really want to talk about anything regarding herself.
“You said I didn’t know what happened on Caprica. Anything happened there you wanna talk about?”
”Nope.”
Lee nodded slowly. Of course she didn’t want to talk about it. She never wanted to talk about anything. But he needed her to talk. Because talking about her problems would stop his thoughts about his father. It would stop the pictures of him lying in his own blood in CIC. It would take away the feeling of his father’s blood on his arms.
“It must have been hard, being back on Caprica.” He said quietly. “Being home. Probably saw some tough things back there.”
He could see the pain in her eyes. She didn’t want to talk about it because it hurt too much. Whatever had happened there, it was too painful to think about it. Just as it was too painful to think of his Dad. So he would change the topic. Find something to talk that wouldn’t hurt either of them. Maybe even take this chance to tell her the things he thought he wouldn’t get to tell her ever again.
“Anyway, tomorrow this whole thing is gonna end, one way or another. We find the tomb or we don't. We find a way to earth or we don't. I just want you to know, Kara, that I'm your friend. I love you. If there's anything you wanna talk about, anything you wanna get off your chest, then I'm here for you. Anyway... whenever you wanna talk, just let me know.”
He looked at her and saw confusion in her eyes. And surprise. He didn’t quite understand that. And he felt too tired to think about it. He turned around to leave when her question stopped him.
“What was that middle part again?”
”Hmm? What do you mean?” Now it was Lee who looked confused.
”Did you say you love me?”
Thinking about his words, Lee realized he had really said that. Oh gods … He let out a nervous laugh. “Well, um …”
”Lee Adama loves me.” Kara mocked him.
”No, all I meant was …”
”No, seriously, very sweet. You love me.” Kara interrupted him. She had to, she didn’t want to give him the time to take it back. When he let out another nervous laughter, she kept on talking. “No, you love me. You can't take it back. There's no take-backs.” She tried to speak in a light tone. She didn’t want him to know that she really meant what she said. There were no take-backs.
”You're dreaming it, Kara.” Lee said quickly.
”You love me.” Kara said. She forced herself to grin at him. This was a joke. Everything about them was a joke. It wasn’t serious … just some banter between friends. And you couldn’t take back a joke.
”You're dreaming it.” Lee repeated. He started to walk away.
”You love me.”
”Dreamer.” He called over his shoulder.
”Mm-hmm. Okay.” She didn’t want him to leave. “Hey Lee, does Nia have a ball to play with?”
“What?” He had stopped and looked at her.
“I have this ball … brought it back from Caprica. It’s a pyramid ball. Knowing you she’s never gonna learn about pyramid, so I thought … Well, if you want the ball for her, here.” She threw the ball towards him. He had to walk a few steps in her direction to catch it. A few steps to her …
”Thanks.” Lee looked at her surprised, smiling.
“So you want to talk about what’s bothering you?” She asked.
His smile faded and the pain returned to his eyes. He took a few breaths. Suddenly he seemed to be miles away. “I just can’t get it off.” He whispered.
“What?” She walked the few steps to him, looking at him carefully.
Then he shook his head. “Nothing. Thanks for the ball, Nia is going to love it.” He smiled at her again.
“No big deal.” She returned the smile, hiding her disappointment. Why was it so hard for them to open up to each other? They were best friends, they should be able to talk about everything. Maybe if she just told him what happened to her on Caprica, he would start talking too? She had talked to him about Leoben. But this was worse. And it hurt too much. What happened to her … she couldn’t talk about it. Talking about it made it real. And she didn’t want it to be real. It was just a bad dream. And now she had woken up and she was safe again. With Lee at her side. “So, I guess we’re going to Kobol soon. I’ll look forward to some radiation free sunshine.”
“Knowing my luck, it’ll rain the whole time.” Lee said. He felt relieved. Talking about Kobol was a safe topic.
“But I always get lucky, Lee. So sunshine it is.” Kara replied grinning.
“I hope you’re right.” Lee smiled. Sunshine really wouldn’t be too bad right now.
For hours Alicia had been sitting on the floor in her quarters. Again and again she read Lee’s letter. He had explained everything to her. His plan, his reasons for leaving, it was all in it. He had written that he had placed the letter next to her pill box, so she would find it after he was gone. So Tigh couldn’t blame her for knowing about it. He had thought she would take her pills in the evening and find the letter. But she hadn’t. She hadn’t taken them for a week, she hadn’t even looked at them. And she hadn’t found the letter. Instead she had spend the week being angry at him. Angry for leaving her, for not telling her anything. She had killed their child in this week.
And all this time there had been this letter.
Adama felt tired when he stepped into his quarters. The last few days had been a total mess. The people still saw Roslin as their President and demanded to reunite the fleet. He wished it would be this easy.
And then there were the problems with Birch, his new CAG. A loyal soldier, without question, but a good CAG? He’s no Apollo, Tigh had said. Well, he had been right. Birch wasn’t Apollo, he wasn’t even half as good. He was trying, but he kept making one mistake after the other. He had nearly killed Kat ...
Sighing Adama sagged down on the couch and closed his eyes. He should have just stayed in sickbay as Cottle had insisted. Then he wouldn’t have to worry about all this.
He tried to ignore the nagging pain he felt deep inside. There was no need to feel hurt. So the former President and his CAG had decided to run away and take almost half the fleet with them … there were worse things that could have happened. Like he had said … everyone could be replaced.
But then there was this rage he was feeling. He was angry at the world ...
A knocking on the hatched pulled him out of his thoughts. Groaning he got up to open the door. He was expecting to see Tigh, bringing him new reports of something else that had gone wrong … but instead he saw Alicia standing right in front of him.
”Hi, what …”
“We need to talk.” She said brusquely and walked past him into his quarters.
“Why don’t you come in.” Adama mumbled quietly. “Is everything all right?” He asked louder after a moment.
Alicia took a deep breath. She decided to come straight to the point. “What are you doing?”
“What?”
“Anyone can be replaced? How can you replace your son? My husband? Nia’s father? I understand that you’re hurt by Lee’s actions, but ...”
“He betrayed me ... the fleet. He committed treason ...”
“He had a good reason and you know that.”
“I don’t care what reason he had. He ...” Adama stopped, suddenly feeling too tired to talk. He sat down on the couch, staring at the ship models standing a few feet away. He remembered how Lee had loved to watch them as a child. How he had kept asking to play with them the few times he had been here. He had never allowed it.
“You need to talk about it.” Alicia said quietly. She could see the pain in his eyes and it broke her heart. She knew only too well how he felt.
“Talk about what?”
“Your feelings, your anger ... whatever it is that’s on your mind. Whatever is keeping you from getting Lee back.”
Adama stayed silent and thought about her words for a moment before he replied. “It's interesting. Betrayal has such a powerful grip on the mind. It's almost like a python. It can squeeze out all other thought. Suffocate all other emotion until everything is dead except for the rage. I'm not talking about anger. I'm talking about rage. I can feel it. Right here. Like it's gonna burst. Feel like I wanna scream. Right now, matter of fact.”
He was surprised at his own words. He usually didn’t talk about his feelings. But it felt good to let it out.
“If I may say something?”
“Now you’re asking?” Adama gave her a small smile.
“I don't think the problem is that you've been betrayed. I think it's that you feel helpless. You were shot, you were injured. You couldn't do anything.” If Alicia knew any feeling, it was that of helplessness. It had made her angry so many times too.
“Don't make excuses for me.”
“And when you finally had a chance to do something ...”
“Stop.” Adama didn’t want to hear what she had to say. He kept telling himself that he didn’t have another chance. But deep down he knew that he was wrong.
“You let us down. You let your family down. You made a promise to all of us... to find Earth, to find us a home. Together. It doesn't matter what Lee did or even what the President did, because every day that we remain apart is a day that you've broken your promise. The people aboard those ships made their own decision.”
“It was their decision, not mine.”
“It's time to heal the wounds, William.” Alicia said quietly. She had taken out the letter Lee had left her.
“That'll be enough.” Adama didn’t think he could take anymore. The guilt he was feeling was proving to be too much.
“People have been divided.”
“I said, that's enough.”
“They're separated from their parents.”
Adama closed his eyes. This was too much.
“Lee left me this letter. I ... just found it now. I don’t think he had intended for you to read it, but ... you might find it interesting.” Alicia held the letter in front of him. When he didn’t make any effort to take it, she placed it on the table next to him. Then she turned around and left.
Adama stared at the letter for a long time. Finally he took it with trembling hands. For a moment he just stared at his son’s familiar handwriting. Finally he started reading the words.
Determinedly Adama stepped into CIC.
“Mr. Gaeta. I want to see all recon material on Kobol immediately in my quarters.”
“Aye, Sir.”
“Kobol?” Tigh looked at his friend questioningly.
“Yes. I'm putting the fleet back together. I'm putting our family back together. This ends now.”
TBC