Word Count: 8,877
Date: 03/27/05
Series: One
Rating: M do I write anything else these days?! <shut up, Nancy>
LOL!
Category: Relationships
Pairing/Focus: William, Laura
Warnings:
Summary: This is for Annie, who needed a serious fic for a change. <g>
Thanks for the beta, mija. Also, big thanks to Mon for her beta assistance;
you’ve been invaluable to me!! Hope y’all enjoy. This is set ten months
after Roslin and Adama’s initial decision (I’m being charitable here) to
flee the Cylons.
Spoilers/Disclaimers: “Bastille Day,” but from there it’s AU.
Quit Claim: (Law) To give up a claim to, relinquish.
“It’s a done deal, Laura. There’s no going back now,” Adama said firmly. “We’ve reached an agreement with the people of Leibaer and they’re willing to let the civilians stay but our military isn’t welcome.”
“No, Bill! No! You’re not leaving us!” Laura cried. You can’t leave me; I need you.
“The Galactica will be leaving once you’re all settled. Our presence here is a danger to our people and the people on the surface.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit! We can easily blend in here and the Cylons would never find us! You don’t have to leave!”
“Laura,” he said gently, cupping her face, “We can’t stay and you can’t come with me. The people need you—you must remain safe.”
“No, you’re not going to sweet talk me,” she argued, pulling away from him. “Not this time!”
“Then we’re all on the run again, is that what you want?”
“No, but-”
“This is probably our last chance. There is no Earth. Of all the worlds we’ve found, this has been the only habitable planet. The people here are willing to let us hide and blend in. We can’t let this opportunity pass us by. We must think of the good of our people!”
“I’m tired of always putting myself…us…last.” Roslin turned away from him, mentally chastising herself for saying that aloud. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. It was selfish and -”
“I completely agree, actually. But we can’t—we’re their leaders. We must think of them first.”
Roslin nodded, knowing in her head that he was right, despite her feelings for him. Adama smiled slightly, pleased that she had been able to rise, one last time, for the needs of their people. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, burying his face in her hair. He loved the way she smelled, exotic and spicy-sweet.
“How long?” she murmurs, resting her forehead against his shoulder, closing her eyes.
“They’ve agreed to give us 1.5 million acres on an uninhabited continent. We can do with it as we like.”
“Why is it uninhabited?” she asked suspiciously.
“I’ve seen the land, Laura. It’s heavy forest. There’s a lot of work to be done…but weren’t you the one that said a little hard work is just what the people need?”
Laura chuckled and nodded, “Guilty as charged.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t include you in the negotiations. I couldn’t take the chance that you’d interfere. That’s why I seized the opportunity when you got sick.”
“I knew that.”
Taken aback, he said, “How?”
“Billy…and Captain Apollo. They came to see me…after the Major stopped sedating me, that is. They told me your plans. I knew you were right then and I know you’re right now,” she said softly, wrapping her arms about his waist. “But it still grates that you went behind my back.”
Adama laughed and met her eyes, his fingers brushing her cheek, “I know it does. But I don’t regret it. I don’t regret anything where you’re concerned.”
“Nor do I.”
Roslin kissed him, trailing her palms up his back. He pulled her closer, planting kisses along her jaw and chin, his heartbeat quickening as her breath catches and her hands tighten in the fabric of his uniform. He tangles his fingers in her hair, nibbling and sucking on the tender skin of her throat.
“How long, Hush?” she asks, breathless.
“I’d say…a week…maximum…” he answered between kisses.
“A week?” she gasped, pulling away from him. She saw the regret in his eyes and comprehension dawned. “You reached this treaty with them long before I got sick, didn’t you? Those talks and summits, they’ve all been a ruse.”
“No, they haven’t. Not exactly.”
“Their desire to know about our people, our laws, our beliefs…it was all a diversion! A way to keep me busy while you worked out the real plans with Chancellor Eikor!”
“No, it wasn’t. They truly wanted to know about our people. But I didn’t do it for the reasons you think. Well, not all of them.”
“You son of a bitch,” she hissed, pushing him away. “Did Billy—did Captain Apollo know about this?”
“No.”
“You were just going to leave, weren’t you? Without a single word. A quick frak, drop me planet-side and just leave. That was the plan, wasn’t it?”
“Laura—”
“Wasn’t it?” she shouted, her eyes full of betrayal and hurt.
“Yes,” he muttered.
Roslin felt as if she’d been doused with frigid water. Trembling with rage, she slapped him with all her strength and stormed from his quarters.
Chapter 2
Roslin didn’t speak to Adama for five days. Both Billly and Apollo ran interference for her, but only Apollo was completely unaware of the real reasons for her fury with the Commander. Billy had had his suspicions about true nature of the relationship between the President and the Commander for quite some time. They didn’t ask any questions either; whenever the Commander’s name was mentioned, a dark scowl marred her lovely features and her mercurial eyes became as dark as thunderheads.
While they had misgivings about her talking with the Chancellor of Leibaer without consulting Adama, neither was willing to risk her temper being turned on them. Both men knew her better than she was aware and each had their own speculations, but both came back to the same conclusion: Commander William Adama. It was obvious that it was more than a legendary screaming match that had put her in such a foul mood.
“Madam President?” Billy asked, poking his head into her quarters.
“Yes?”
“Chancellor Eikor is on the line.”
“Thank you, Billy.”
Laura stood swaying slightly as she was hit with a wave of dizziness. She grabbed the edge of her chair, steadying herself. She avoided her aide’s eyes as she slowly passed him, her head high.
She entered her office and smiled at Apollo, who stood hastily when she entered. She waved off his formality and asked him to sit but he declined, advising he needed to speak with Starbuck. She nodded her understanding and patted his arm affectionately as she passed him, taking a seat behind her desk, lifting the receiver to her ear, watching with some amusement as her advisor ducked out of the room.
“Good morning, President Roslin.”
“Good morning, Chancellor Eikor. How are you today?”
“Very well,” she replied warmly. “And how are you?”
“Fine, thank you.”
“Let me just cut to the chase, Madam President. May I ask why you want to bring your civilians planet-side today?”
“I want to get my people settled planet-side as soon as possible. They are unaccustomed to being cooped up for such an extended period of time and because of your wonderful generosity, they’re even more restless and eager to breathe fresh air again.”
“I can only imagine. I feel that way when in rains three days in a row,” Eikor chuckled. A long silence falls between them and she asks again, gently, “But that doesn’t answer my question.”
“I—” she broke off, feeling a sudden sense of something she’d never felt before; it felt as if something was pressing on her very brain. “Stop it…” she whispered.
The sensation passed immediately and the Chancellor asked, “Madam President? Are you all right?”
Shakily, Roslin replied, “Yes, I—I’m fine. I’m sorry, I just had the strangest…”
“President Roslin, please prepare your civilians to come planet-side. Today.”
“Chancellor, I don’t know how to thank-”
“No need,” she said softly, “We are more than happy to assist you.”
“Thank you. On behalf of myself and my people, thank you.”
* * * * *
Roslin finished packing her meager possessions and closed the case, snapping the latches. She took a last long look around; this had been her residence for more months than she could recall, but she had never really allowed herself to think of Colonial One as a home. She realized suddenly that she would miss it. More than sadness and tears had happened in these rooms; there had been triumphs, laughter and lovemaking. Tears welled in her eyes at the memories and she thanked the Gods that soon she wouldn’t have to face these rooms again.
She didn’t hear the curtain draw back and close or the heavy thump of boots on the carpeted floor; it was the sound of someone clearing their throat that drew her back to the present. She took a shaky breath, pulling herself back together.
“I’m almost ready, Billy,” she said softly. She bent over and pulled her heels on, stiffening as hands gripped her hips, pulling her against a solid, obviously male form. She jerked upright, her body pressed full-length against his.
“Wrong Billy,” he murmured in her ear, his hand splayed low on her belly.
“Commander Adama, please let go of me.”
“I’m sorry, Laura, I truly am.”
“I don’t give a damn. Let me go and leave me alone.” Her tone was angrier than he’d ever heard.
“Not until you listen to me.”
“I’m not listening to anything you have to say. You’ve lied and withheld from me for the last time,” she said coldly, struggling against him.
“I said I was sorry. What more do you want?”
“Nothing. Especially from you.”
“So you’ll never forgive me then?” he asked irritably, releasing her.
“Perhaps on my deathbed, and we both know how near at hand that is. If and when you ever return from your Cylon hunt, I’ll be cold in my grave.”
“Don’t talk like that.”
“Like what? It’s reality. My only hope is I can stay upwardly mobile until the election.”
“That’s two months away. You’ve already surpassed the doctor’s predictions out of sheer bullheadedness! Connell still can’t understand how you’ve managed to stay alive and he doesn’t buy my she’s-too-stubborn-to-die theory. He told you six months, it’s been ten; you’re going to survive to see the next election.”
“No, I won’t. You know it as well as I. I’m much weaker now, I’m succumbing to illnesses more easily and I can’t fight them off…I’m forced to take morphine injections for the pain. Don’t minimize this and pretend it isn’t happening.”
“I should not have allowed you to postpone the elections. I should have objected and overruled you.”
“They’ve been postponed for a few months…and if you had overruled me, I don’t think I would have lived this long. I’m staying alive to be sure the people are taken care of and settled.” She could not tell him she was also fighting to be with him, that her feelings for him were stronger than the pain she suffered daily.
“Laura, please…let’s not say goodbye this way.”
“This is the only way, Bill,” she said wearily.
“Madam President?” Billy called, poking his head into her room. “You’re shuttle is waiting.”
“Shuttle? Where are you going?”
“We’re going planet-side, Commander. I’ve arranged an early departure for the civilians. I didn’t want our presence to delay you any further. So, if you’ll excuse me…” she trailed off, brushing past him as she reached for her case.
Adama grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. His tone gruff, he said, “Will you excuse us, Billy?”
“Ma’am?” the young aide asked, nervously eyeing the two.
“It’s all right. I’ll be with you in a moment.”
She watched as her aide disappeared, pulling the curtain closed behind him. She closed her eyes briefly and turned to Adama, steadily meeting his gaze. His expression softened and he cupped her cheek with one hand, his thumb caressing her cheekbone, his touch feather-light. Her eyes drifted closed at his gentle touch; she might be able to hide her emotional response to him but not her body’s.
“Hush…” she whispered.
“Please, can I come see you tonight?”
“I don’t even know where I’ll be.”
“I do.”
Her eyes snapped open and she demanded, “Where? How do you know all of this?”
“Our civilian engineers have been working with the Leibaeri engineers and construction workers. They have completed housing for five thousand and have built temporary housing for the remaining people.”
“How could you have excluded me from all of this? How can I possibly have any credibility with the Leibaeri Chancellor—with our people? It appears as if I objected to all of these plans, that I have no intentions of doing what’s in their best interests…that I don’t even care!”
“Everyone knew you had pneumonia, Laura. No one believes that you didn’t or don’t care. They all believe I was acting in your stead.”
“What?” she gasped, staring at him.
“I was doing what I thought was best for us—I mean, our people, for all of us.”
“How the frak is it better for you to take off on a suicide mission?” she demanded shrilly. “How exactly is it better for the people, Bill? You and I are the most visible people in the fleet. What do you imagine they’re thinking?”
“Perhaps that the leader of their military is going to fight their enemy, going to-”
Interrupting, Roslin said coldly, “Get a little revenge.”
“What’s wrong with that?” Adama exploded. “The Cylons murdered billions of our people! They deserve our vengeance!”
“And revenge makes us no better than them.”
“They are machines. They have no concept of human emotions.”
“They have created human copies. How do we know that they can’t comprehend our emotions? They could feel as much as you or I for all we know!”
“That doesn’t matter, Laura. Whether they can feel or comprehend emotions makes no difference to either of us. They are lethal to us, they are machines.”
“You’re missing my point. Deliberately.”
“You’re comparing me to a Cylon. I haven’t missed anything.”
“You know what, it doesn’t matter what I say, does it? You’re determined to do this despite all logic, fine. Go…now.”
Roslin grabbed her case from the bed and started for the door. Adama beat her to the doorway and blocked her exit. She sighed irritably, her eyes cold and resentful.
“Get out of my way,” she growled.
“We’re leaving first thing tomorrow. Can I see you tonight?”
“I don’t care what you do any more.”
“I’ll come by late. No one will see us.”
“Of course. We must keep up the pretense,” she retorted, forcing her way past him.
* * * * *
Roslin spent three hours meeting with the Chancellor and her Cabinet, answering questions, assuring them that there would be no military presence neither on their planet nor in their orbit.
The Leibaeri also had great concerns about the ship of prisoners that was traveling with their fleet. Roslin had calmly assured them that the Astral Queen would be going with the Galactica, with all prisoners aboard.
They, in turn, had asked their people to open their hearts to the refugees and donate anything they could spare. The Leibaeri had collected several billion Colonial cubits worth of clothing, food, toys and other necessary supplies; merchants all across the cities had donated the supplies to help build homes for the refugees.
After this information was imparted, Roslin, with tear-filled eyes, shook hands with all of the officials, whispering her thanks. She received hugs and good wishes from all. Roslin pulled herself together as everyone filed out of the room, save herself, Eikor and Billy.
“Madam President, may I speak with you. Privately?”
“Yes, of course,” Roslin said, nodding. “Billy?”
“I’ll be right outside.”
Roslin got to her feet and swayed, splaying her hands on the table before her to regain her balance. Closing her eyes, she silently talked herself through the spell, commanding her roiling stomach to calm.
She felt a cool hand touch her forehead as she was returned to her seat and dimly heard words being spoken but there was something strange about the voices, something she couldn’t put her finger on. The last thing she remembered before the world went black was a single word, spoken by Eikor, “Cancer.”
* * * * *
Adama rapped on Lee’s door, waiting for the go-ahead to enter. There was no response. He knocked again and waited, growing impatient. He lifted his hand, prepared to pound on the hatch when he felt a tap on his shoulder.
“Dad?” Lee asked curiously.
“Lee, hi. Can we…talk?”
“Sure, come in.”
He opened the door to his quarters and entered, Adama close behind him. He closed the door behind himself and turned to find his son seated as his desk, watching his father intently. He noted his father’s discomfort, which only piqued his curiosity further. Adama laced his fingers behind his back and began pacing.
“I need to ask you to do something for me. Something very important.”
“All right. What is it?”
“I want you to go planet-side with the civilians. I am putting you in charge of the President’s personal safety.”
“Protect the—planet-side?” Lee asked, stunned. Of all of the things his father could have asked, this was the most surprising. Roslin had her own security detail, why would he ask his son, one of the best pilots they had left, to stay behind and watch over the President? “Why?”
“Tom Zarek has recruited followers among the civilians since the incident on the Astral Queen. We can’t risk her safety. There will be no police or military presence after we leave tomorrow and if there was to be any trouble, she’d be basically defenseless.”
Lee nodded in agreement. He knew his father was correct; there was still a serious threat to the President’s life and safety, even with Zarek gone. However, he was having difficulty imagining Laura Roslin defenseless. She was a tough and resourceful woman, not a fragile, clinging female. “Of course I will, dad. I’m—I’m honored that you asked me to do it. I’ll die for her if I have to.”
“Let’s hope it won’t come to that,” Adama said sharply, fearing that most of all in his request.
“Let’s hope.”
“You need to pack. Now. Roslin’s arranged an early transfer. Everyone is leaving today.”
“Even the Galactica?”
“No, we’re leaving first thing tomorrow.”
“Oh,” Apollo said, nodding. His voice heavy with emotion, he says, “Dad…I…take care of Starbuck. Don’t let Tigh murder her. Be careful…good hunting.”
“I will, son.”
Adama pulled Lee into a fierce hug, the only display of emotion he would allow himself. Lee returned the hug with the same ferocity, his throat tightening. The gravity of the moment wasn’t lost on either of them; it was quite possible it would be the last time they saw one another and the long-time strife between father and son seemed suddenly a waste of precious time.
Adama pulled away first, straightening his uniform, clearing his throat. “I should go. You need to pack.”
“Yes sir.”
“Protect her, Lee.” Adama nodded once and silently left his son’s quarters.
“Madam President?”
Roslin’s eyes slowly opened at the sound of a soft voice, her eyes drifting around the room for the source. She realized she was in a hospital room and jerked fully awake, attempting to sit up.
“Madam President, please remain calm and lie still,” the disembodied voice advised kindly.
Laura realized suddenly that she wasn’t hearing the voice with her ears, but within her own mind. Her heart began to pound and she struggled to push the blankets away, but found she was too weak. She shrank away from the cool hand that gently touched her arm, her eyes darting to the figure that now stood beside her bed.
Her eyes widening, she stared in shock at the beautiful woman that stood beside her bed. She was over six feet tall, with thick, curly blond hair and chocolate brown eyes. The woman was smiling warmly at her, flashing deep dimples.
“You’re all right, Laura,” the woman replied. Once again, her voice was inside Laura’s head.
“What are you doing to me? Why can I hear you in my head?” Roslin asked aloud, her voice wavering slightly.
“I’m terribly sorry. I forgot…you don’t know…old habits, you know.”
“Don’t know what? What old habits? What have you done to me?”
“We’re telepathic, dear. We can communicate with one another through—”
Interrupting, Laura cried, “I know what it means! What did you do to me?”
“Please, calm down, ma’am. I don’t want to sedate you again. Chancellor Eikor is waiting outside. She’d like to talk to you.”
“No! I don’t want to talk to her! She’s behind this!”
“Laura, we meant no harm.”
Roslin tensed at the sight of Eikor, who had entered the room and come to stand beside her bed. With a flash of fear, she wondered if they had made a grave mistake, perhaps these humanoid beings were actually Cylons—and she and Adama had played right into their hands.
“It is my fault, Madam President. I inadvertently saw your thoughts. Please, forgive me,” Eikor said apologetically.
Roslin looked up at Isabella Eikor, her eyes cold. She fixed the tall, handsome redhead with a resentful glare. She felt foolish, like a complete idiot—she might well have led her people to slaughter; she had believed the Leibaeri sincerity and trusted in their word. Roslin closed her eyes and begged the Gods to hear her prayer, to save her people if nothing else, when Eikor’s words suddenly penetrated her anger.
“Saw my thoughts?” Roslin asked, blanching.
“I know about the cancer. That is why you are here.”
“Oh Gods,” she whispered, covering her face with her hands. “It’s not contagious. It’s contained within my body, please—”
“It is all right, we know what cancer is,” the Chancellor said, smiling slightly. “The reason you are here, in the hospital, is quite simple. We have a cure.”
“A-a what?”
“We have a cure, Laura. For cancer,” the nurse said gently, smiling. “It’s a non-invasive treatment; a vaccine actually. It’s a series of shots over six months time. Normally, it’s three shots in six months, but you have the disease already-”
“This is a real cure? The cancer will be completely gone? You’re not screwing with me?”
“No ma’am.” Both women appeared affronted by the suggestion.
“Please, I’m sorry. Our enemy, they use trickery and deception…I’m afraid we’re all still quite wary.”
Roslin watched as Eikor glanced at the nurse, who nodded and left the room, neither speaking. Roslin strained to hear sure they were speaking to one another in their minds, but found she could hear nothing.
Eikor smiled and chuckled, patting Laura’s hand. “You are trying to hear with your ears; that is why you cannot hear us.”
Roslin flushed and said, “This is all rather new, Chancellor. These things are considered fanciful amongst my people. A fascinating concept, but beyond belief.”
“Yes, we know. But you…you and a young warrior…Lee? Um, you call him Captain Apollo? You are both different. You are open to new ideas, new experiences—”
“How do you know that? How do you know anything about him?” Roslin watched, surprised, as the unflappable Eikor blushed furiously and touched her forehead, perplexed. “Whatever it is, I’d appreciate it if you’d just be honest.”
“That was actually my first sense about you, Madam President. Honesty is not often seen in politics and it immediately intrigued me. Please, you must believe me when I say it was not intentional. I did not mean to force my way into your thoughts.”
“Force?”
“Earlier today? You felt a pressure against your mind?”
“That was you?” Roslin demanded, betrayal in her tone.
“Yes. Please, I am terribly sorry. I sensed—you were so sad…I thought perhaps you had received more bad news about your illness and that would, of course, influence my decision…”
With each word the woman uttered, Roslin became angrier. She had been spying on them, they all had, and in the worst possible way—it was the ultimate violation. “How dare you! How could you sneak into our minds and use it against us? It’s dishonest…it’s despicable!”
“I have an obligation to my people, Laura. I had to make sure you were telling us the truth. I had to know that you were not deceiving us for nefarious purposes. Once we ascertained that you and your Commander were sincere in your need to hide, we were more than happy to do whatever we could to assist you.”
“Were you ever going to tell us? Or would you have just continued to deceive us and learn all of our personal secrets?”
“It is important that you understand, we do not purposely violate the minds of others. It is an assault that carries grave consequences. You have my sincerest apologies. I hope you will forgive me one day.”
“How can I be assured that this will never happen again?”
“Surely you realize…there really are no secrets amongst us.”
“That means no privacy!”
“Well, one learns certain…defenses. And to be quite honest, our vast population makes it impossible to isolate one person and his or her emotions or thoughts. You and your people are in no danger of being mentally laid bare. It would take a powerful telepath, one who knows how to break through even the best defenses, to know every thought and feeling a person has.”
“Is this…mind rape…a frequent occurrence?”
“No, it isn’t,” she said grimly.
“Why? What is the deterrent? It would be damned hard to actually prove.”
“The penalty is death. It is quite easy to prove; a highly trained physician interviews the victim and the accused. It is easy for the physician to determine if the victim is really a victim. It is basically a psychic lie-detector test.”
Roslin nodded her understanding. “I need you to teach me defenses, Isabella. I can’t take any chances.”
“Of course. I was going to suggest it as a precaution.”
After a long moment, Roslin said softly, “So I guess you know why I was upset earlier.”
“I do. I am terribly sorry. For violating your privacy and for…the situation between you and your Commander.”
“I knew that wasn’t a mistake on your part. The comment, ‘your commander,’ I mean.”
Eikor shook her head and murmured, “I am very sorry about that. Can you forgive me?”
“I have. I understand your reasons and I can’t say that I wouldn’t have done the same were I in your position. We each took an oath to protect our people and that’s exactly what you did.”
“Thank you for understanding. And I will not reveal anything I learned about you to anyone.”
* * * * *
It was 20:30 hours when Roslin reached her new home. She stopped in front of the white, two-story house with a wraparound porch, blinking. She turned to her bodyguard, Brody Finn, who was fighting a smile of self-satisfaction, stunned and speechless.
“This is—is mine?” she stammered. “This—I can’t—a family should be living here. I’ll be fine in temporary housing.”
“Madam President, Commander Adama specifically had this residence designed for you.”
“I can’t take this home, Brody. It’s too much for just one person. A family should be living here,” she said firmly.
“You must, ma’am.”
“Why must I?”
“As I said, this house was designed for you; designed to protect you and to serve as your offices. Your new head of security will have quarters here with you and the rest of your detail, myself included, will be in a cottage at the back of the property.”
“What new head of security?” she demanded.
“Captain Apollo, reporting for duty,” Lee said, grinning.
“Captain Apollo?” she gasped, turning to face him, a happy smile on her face. “I can’t believe it!”
“Believe it, Madam President, I’m here to protect and serve.”
* * * * *
Roslin was seated in the front porch swing, soaking up the humid night air, pushing the swing back and forth with her foot. It had been so long she was afraid she had forgotten what summer felt like. This was a damp, heavy heat unlike what she was accustomed to; Caprica City was also a coastal city but did not possess this kind of tropical humidity.
She smiled to herself in the darkness; she and Apollo had eagerly spent the early evening exploring their new home and offices. Adama had really outdone himself and both wondered how he had gotten the businessmen and women to agree to such a state-of-the-art home. Both finally had to agree that he had either parted with something very special or he had simply adamantly insisted that his President have only the best.
“Hi there,” a soft, gruff voice said from the darkness.
“Hi yourself,” she replied, her voice low. She stood and padded down the steps, standing before him.
Adama was barely able to keep his mind on small talk; with the light streaming from the windows and front door illuminating her, he had been unable to take his eyes off of her. She was wearing a sleeveless royal blue sundress that fit her snugly in all the right places. He wanted her right then and there. He cleared his throat and asked, “So, what do you think of her?”
“She’s beautiful, Bill. Thank you.”
“Only the best for our President.”
“Just your President?” she asked lightly.
She wanted to pull him into her arms so badly, to torment him and show him just exactly how much she wanted and needed him, but she didn’t. They weren’t alone; they would never be alone again. It was a wide, muddy stretch that would someday be a road, with an acre of grassland in each direction that separated her house from several of her people’s homes. It wouldn’t do for them to be seen making out. They couldn’t take the risk that someone might be watching.
“Is there somewhere we can go? Can we be alone anywhere?”
“William Adama, whatever are you suggesting?” she teased, her lips curving into a sexy smile.
“Don’t, Laura,” he whispered, his tone pleading. “Can we be alone?”
“Why don’t you come inside? Your son isn’t here; he’s working on security stuff with my detail.”
Adama nodded his consent, touching her arm lightly, needing to feel her skin against his palm. It was an innocent gesture and not one that would seem untoward. Had he acted on impulse, he would have swept her up into his arms, wrapped her legs around his waist, carried her onto the porch and had his way with her right there in the swing. Instead, he followed her, at a respectable distance, up the steps and into the house.
“Bill, I can’t tell you how beautiful this house is. You did a wonderful job.”
“I didn’t do anything. I just chose things I thought you might like.”
“You did more than that,” she said softly. “You chose things you wanted me to have, that you knew I would like, that you knew would make life comfortable for me and would protect me. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I’m glad you like it.”
They fell into a long silence, an awkward-yet-comfortable silence, one of which they were familiar with. Roslin mused that if they weren’t fighting about the fleet they were making love; they really didn’t have much to talk about outside of their professional lives. But that didn’t bother her; she wasn’t spending her nights with him because he was a brilliant conversationalist.
Her eyes found his and she jerked her head slightly, signaling him to follow her. He nodded and complied without a word, unfastening the buttons of his dress uniform jacket as they climbed the stairs to the second floor. When they reached the darkened landing, Roslin took his hand and led him into the bedroom. In the darkness, he pulled her close and kissed her possessively.
Breaking away, Roslin asked breathlessly, “Do you really think we should do this?”
“Why shouldn’t we, Laura?” he asked, planting kisses down her throat and along the bare skin of her collarbone.
“You’re leaving us for a suicide mission…mmm…Captain Apollo could be back at any time…” she trailed off, tangling her fingers in his hair as his hands lowered the zipper down her back. “Oh Gods, why can’t I say no to you?”
“You never could say ‘no’ to me. Not when we first started this and you hated me, not now when I’m leaving,” he murmured, meeting her eyes.
“I didn’t hate you, Hush.”
“Do you hate me now?”
He slowly slid the straps of her dress from her shoulder and down her arms, allowing the soft cotton to slide slowly along her skin as it dropped to the floor. She gasped softly at the sensation, her fingers tightening in his hair, kissing him heatedly. His hands trailed from her waist, around her back, to her rear, pulling her closer.
Adama shrugged out of his jacket and dropped it to the floor. He sucked in a breath as Roslin’s hands yanked his undershirt from his trousers and trailed up the bare flesh of his chest as she pulled the shirt over his head.
“Gods, no,” she whispered against his shoulder, nipping the exposed skin. Her lips parted and she planted soft, wet kisses on his chest. “I don’t hate you.”
His lips sought hers for a heated kiss as her fingers found the fastening of his pants, deftly unzipping him. He groaned as she touched him, his head dropping back slightly, his lips parting as his breathing quickened.
“Laura…” he breathed, gripping her wrist firmly to cease her movements.
Roslin chuckled softly and walked him backward to her bed, pushing him onto his back. He grinned up at her, appreciatively admiring her, clad only in a black bra and panties, a stark contrast against her creamy skin, and his eyes met hers. She climbed onto the bed, straddling him, running her fingers through his hair. His gaze left hers and trailed hungrily over her breasts, over the slight swell of her belly, to her slim, shapely hips.
“Gods, you’re so beautiful.” Adama cupped her cheek, his thumb tracing her lower lip. She leaned forward, kissing him heatedly, her body resting along the length of his. His hands rested momentarily on her hips then slid up her back, unfastening her bra and tossing it across the room. One hand cupped her breast, teasing the nipple into a taut point. “So beautiful…sometimes I want you so bad it hurts…”
“Hush,” she gasped, arching into his hand, “I want you—stop teasing me.”
Adama knew how deeply he was affecting her; Roslin had never asked him to stop anything. She sat up and rose to her knees, helping him as he kicked his pants off. He grinned up at her, his fingers trailing under the skimpy fabric of her panties.
“Your turn,” he sang.
“Aren’t you going to help?”
With an impish smile and lust-filled eyes, he rolled her onto her back. In one swift movement he had divested her of the remaining clothing between them. His hands and lips were everywhere on her then, teasing her, pushing her to the edge, then backing off, chuckling at her groan of disappointment.
“Hush,” she ground out through gritted teeth, “I swear to the Gods if you don’t hurry up—”
He slowly entered her, silencing her except for a sharp gasp. He looked into her face, mesmerized by the sight of her tightly closed eyes, her mouth open, her breath coming in uneven pants. Her eyes fluttered open, her pupils dilated, and with a show of strength that surprised him, she rolled him over and pinned him to the bed.
“I love it when a woman insists on driving,” he groaned as she deliberately tightened around him.
“Shut up and enjoy the ride, Hush,” she purred.
She began to move and gripped his arms, yanking him into a seated position, before wrapping her arms around his neck. She kissed him deeply and his hands cradled her face tenderly as they moved together, their damp skin sliding together sensuously. She broke off the kiss, throwing her head back, moaning his name. His hands found her hips and pulled her more tightly against him, kissing her throat as she keened, her back arching, legs wrapping tightly around his waist.
“Hush, please…” she whined.
“Come on, baby, let go,” he growled in her ear.
She cried out, biting his shoulder as her body tightened around his, her nails raking down his back. The sight and sounds of her pleasure pushed him to the edge and he came with a groan, his arms wrapped around her waist, holding her close, his face buried in neck.
As their breathing leveled out, Adama lay back against the mattress, pulling Roslin with him. Her head rested beneath his chin, one hand on his shoulder, listening to the sound of his slowing heartbeat. He stroked her damp hair tenderly, kissing her forehead, wanting to say something but unable to find the words. They drifted off to sleep, without another word passing between them.
Part 4
Laura awoke early the following morning, alone, to an envelope lying on the pillow beside her. She choked back tears and with a shaking hand, reached for it, sitting upright, crossing her legs Indian-style, the sheet drawn around her nude form. She tore open the envelope and slowly unfolded the thick sheaf of papers. She took a breath and closed her eyes for a moment, composing herself before she read the letter. She was afraid of what she was going to find in the pages. The truth, more than anything else, was what she feared.
Her throat tightened as he spoke of his fear of leaving her behind, of facing the Cylons when they were clearly out-manned and out-gunned, the guilt of leaving the civilians on a strange planet with a people who had pledged their support and protection but the reasons for their kindness, he feared, was less than altruistic. He spoke of his feelings for her, the myriad of emotions that were tied up with her and made him wonder if he was doing the right thing in leaving her behind, in baring his soul to her this way, in leaving her to wake up alone to this letter. He explained that it was he who had ordered Lee to stay behind and take care of her in his absence, despite their great need for him.
“Oh Husher,” she whispered, tears slipping down her cheeks at this revelation.
He concluded that perhaps she was correct in her assumption that they were going to “get a little revenge” on the Cylons for decimating their civilization. But he explained to her that it was a need that all of his people felt, not merely his alone. He prayed that she would one day understand and forgive him for his decision. The final paragraph held only one sentence: I hope you know that I love you, most of all I regret that I never told you this when I had the chance to see your face as I uttered the words.
“You son of a bitch!” she sobbed. She pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs.
The previous night washed over her like the tide; the way he had watched at her as they made love, his hands gripping her hips tightly, his sounds of pleasure, the way he had worshipped her and put her needs first—she shook her head to clear those thoughts, they did her no good now. The likelihood of his return were minimal; she’d finally found a good, solid man to love and circumstance had taken him away from her. It was the outcome she’d always feared and the very thing that prevented her from confessing her true feelings to Adama.
Laura took a deep breath and forced her feelings down, stemming the tide of her tears, needing to ignore the pain to get through this. She wiped her eyes and gathered the pages of his letter, crushing them tightly in her hand. She uncurled her body and stood, reaching for her robe, wrapping it tightly around her. She went into the bathroom and splashed her face with cold water, then headed downstairs to the kitchen.
While pouring herself a glass of juice, an image of Adama laughing at something she had said then pulling her close for a kiss, invaded her thoughts and felt a physical pang of grief. She inhaled sharply and tears filled her eyes, her hand resting protectively over her heart. She was crying before she could stop herself, her hands resting on the countertop, her shoulders shaking with the force of her sobs.
Lee was on the second floor landing when he heard her. In all the months he had known her, he had never seen her really lose it. He hurried into the kitchen and paused in the doorway at the sight of her. He came to stand beside her, touching her shoulder, the need to soothe her paramount.
Much to his disbelief, she faced him and rested her forehead on his shoulder. Lee wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back soothingly, letting her deal with her feelings in her own way. His tender concern only made her cry harder; she wrapped her arms around his back, her hands clutching his t-shirt, clinging to him as if he were the only life preserver left. He spotted the letter lying on the counter but didn’t pry. He sensed it was of a very personal nature, hence the tears, and if she wanted to confide she would.
“Captain Apollo?” she sniffled, raising her head from his shoulder.
“Yes, Madam President?”
“I’m sorry for this.”
“Quite all right, ma’am. Just doing my job.”
“I don’t think this is a part of your job description,” she chuckled, releasing him and shifting away from him slightly.
“Maybe not, but that’s OK,” he grinned. He noticed, for the first time, that she always smelled good. It was a spicy scent that he really liked; one, he now knew, that clung to everything from her hair and clothing to her sheets. “If you ever want to talk, I’m always here, ma’am.”
“I know, and thank you. I’m just not ready for this yet.”
“No one in this…position…is ready to talk immediately. But if you ever want to, I’m here. If not, I understand that too; it’s a woman thing.”
Laura lifted her head and smiled at him through her tears. “Captain Apollo, I hate to break it to you like this, but you are a “girl” friend to me.”
“Yeah, I know, but I didn’t want to take liberties,” he teased.
“Maybe some day we’ll talk about it,” she promised, laughing despite herself. She wiped the tears from her face and groaned, “I look like hell, don’t I? What a way to meet and greet your people and your hosts, huh?”
“You look great, ma’am. You just might want to get dressed or you’ll incite a riot.”
“Oh shut up and get out of here.”
“Hey, I’m not kidding!” he said with a grin.
“Captain Apollo!” she scolded, unable to conceal a flush of pleasure. “Are you just saying that to make me feel better?”
“I mean it, ma’am.”
“Thank you.”
She watched him as he crossed the room to the door and stopped. He turned to face her, a mischievous grin on his face, and drawled, “Any time.”
She was left frowning and wondering exactly what he’d meant by his final comment. Her feelings for his father were deep and painful and still too fresh; she consciously decided to not speculate further. She decided to put aside her thoughts of the Captain; she had business to attend to at the present. However putting Husher out of her mind was impossible to do—he was always there, underneath everything she said and did, beneath her very skin.
* * * * *
The first days and weeks without him were the hardest for Laura. She easily and successfully ignored the pain and loneliness without him during the day, burying herself in work. There was so much to attend to these days, with the people having the freedom to come and go as they pleased, there were reports of disturbances and missing persons. In addition to complaints, requests and requisitions, she found herself consulting with engineers and planners about construction for the housing for the remaining citizens and talking with a civilian accountant, a former CEO of a manufacturing corporation and a small group of former small business owners to discuss rebuilding an economy.
It was the long, lonely nights that nearly broke her. She wanted Adama by her side, holding her in his arms, making her feel safe, warm…loved. She missed the sound of his voice, the feeling of his skin against hers, the scent of his cologne, the taste of his kisses.
She spent increasing amounts of time with Lee Adama; not only was he with her in professional capacity as her advisor and head of security, he was also her housemate. Before she’d even realized it, a month had passed and it was time for her to go back to the hospital for her vaccination. They had all been so busy, working day and night to re-establish their civilization she had neglected to tell Apollo her good news.
It was 21:45 hours and they had just gotten home from a town hall meeting, a weekly meeting they had started to get ideas from the civilians and address any questions or concerns. Neither had a chance to eat since lunch and they were both in the kitchen; Lee was seated at the table, watching Laura as she moved about, preparing a light supper for them.
Lee suspected she wasn’t listening and told her that they had received a message from the Galactica and the Cylons were en route to Leibaer. Laura had merely nodded and continued to chop vegetables. Lee stared at her and shook his head, wondering what had gotten into her lately. She was moody and distant and tired. He feared that her cancer was spreading and she was reluctant to tell him.
“Madam President?”
“Hmm?”
“Laura!” he said sharply.
Roslin jumped slightly, finally giving him her attention. “Captain Apollo?”
“Sorry, I’ve been trying to get your attention and you’ve hardly heard a word I’ve said,”
“I’m sorry. I’m just…the best way for me to tell you, is to just give it to you straight.”
“What’s wrong?” he said gruffly.
“Nothing is wrong, it’s good news, actually.”
“That’s a welcome change. OK, so what’s the news?”
“My cancer is gone. Well, it will be gone soon,” she said softly.
“Gone? How?”
“What I’m about to tell you is…Gods, Captain Apollo, the Leibaeri are telepathic. When I was talking with the Chancellor…she was reading our thoughts…she knows that I have cancer.”
“Oh Gods. What—then they know? They weren’t worried?”
“They know what cancer is. They have a vaccine. The first day I was here, they gave me the first of six shots.”
“A vaccine? Ma’am! This is wonderful news!” Lee cried, rushing to her. He lifted her off of her feet into a hug and swung her around. She laughed and hugged him back, realizing it felt nice to be held again. “So have you gone for your second shot yet?”
“Um, well that’s what I’ve been distracted about. I need someone to help me afterwards. Chancellor Eikor told me that I would be ill for a few hours after each of the remaining five shots.”
“Would you like me to stay with you afterwards so you can rest?”
“You’d do that?”
“Of course I would, ma’am. I’m the head of your security; it’s my job to take care of you at all costs!”
“Thank you, Captain Apollo,” she said softly, smiling at him. “I’d also like to see about having all of the civilians vaccinated too. Remind me to mention that to Billy; I have to talk with the Chancellor’s Minister of Health.”
Apollo nodded and made a quick note for himself. “You’re welcome, ma’am. What time do you have to be there tomorrow for the vaccine?”
“I’m scheduled at 06:00 hours.”
“Are they going to send someone to pick you up or do you know where you’re going?”
“Actually, Chancellor Eikor is sending a nurse here. I’m going to have to take the morning off.”
“How are we going to—”
“I’ve been thinking about that. I think we should have Billy report that I am meeting with members of the Chancellor’s Cabinet.”
“That’s good. Whether or not it’s the same nurse, if anyone sees people coming and going, the story will hold up. We’re going to have to give the Chancellor a head’s up on this in case the media starts sniffing around.”
“Of course. I’ll call the Chancellor and let her know,” she said and reached for the phone on the wall.
Roslin dialed the Chancellor’s personal line and spoke briefly, advising her of their plan to keep the civilians out of the loop as far as her illness was concerned. Eikor agreed to the plan and felt that it was probably the best way to handle the situation. Roslin thanked the Chancellor and bid her a good evening.
“It’s a go.”
Lee chuckled and hopped up on the counter beside her, grabbing a slice of pepper to munch on. “When did you start using military slang?”
“Hey! Stay out of the peppers! I’ve been hanging out with you and your cronies for too long, I guess.”
“Probably. So what are you cooking here?”
“It’s a surprise. Don’t worry, you’ll love it.”
“Madam President, I’ve loved everything you’ve cooked so far.”
“Of course you’ve loved it! I’m a damned good cook,” Roslin said with a smirk.
“Wow, you’re so modest,” he teased.
They both laughed and a silence fell between them. They had reached an agreement weeks ago never to discuss work while at home; they had decided to use that time to get to know one another. “You know, you can call me Laura.”
“I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t think I can do that.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re the President and you deserve respect.”
“I’m asking you to call me Laura. I’m giving you my permission. Unless that’s not the real reason,” she said, laying down the knife she was using, focusing her full attention on him.
“Why wouldn’t it be the real reason?” he hedged, not quite meeting her eyes. “Of course it’s the real reason.”
“Captain Apollo, please. Talk to me. What’s going on?”
“It’s just—I have a feeling that I’ll forget and call you ‘Laura’ when we’re not alone.”
“That’s it?” she asked gently. “You’re afraid you’ll call me by my first name in mixed company? Things have changed and I’m not your average President. I’ve given you my permission to use my given name.”
“OK, I’ll give it a whirl. But I’m not making any promises that it will stick.”
“You make it sound like I’m asking you to father my children,” she joked, bumping him lightly with her shoulder.
Apollo flushed heatedly. He didn’t have a snappy comeback for that one.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
“No, it’s OK. I just—that wasn’t anything close to what I expected you to say, that’s all.”
“Let’s just forget I said it.”
“Sure,” he agreed, smiling at her slightly.
Roslin went back to work chopping, focusing on a fraction of her attention to the task. She was berating herself for being so foolish; this was the son of her lover! How could she—what could have possibly possessed her to say such a thing? She never spoke without considering her words first; what was it about this man that made her want to be herself—not Miss Laura, schoolteacher, Laura Roslin, former Secretary of Education and current President of the Twelve Colonies, all personas she had hidden behind.
“Damnit!” Roslin cried, dropping the knife and grasping her index finger, which bled profusely.
“Gods, Laura, hang on. I’ll get a towel,” Lee said, hopping from the counter and rushing across the room for a clean dishtowel. He hurried back to her side and quickly wrapped her finger. “Do we have any disinfectant and bandages?”
“Um, yeah, the bathroom.”
“Are you OK?”
Though she was pale, she swallowed hard and muttered, “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Lee watched her carefully for a few more seconds, assuring himself that she was going to be all right on her own for a few moments. He hurried out of the kitchen and into the half bath, rummaging through the cabinets for antiseptic and bandages. He heard a loud crash from the kitchen and groaned. He dropped everything and ran to her.