Word Count: 60,112
Date: 10/29/04
Series: Mini
Rating: T
Category: Relationships
Pairing/Focus: Lee, Kara
Warnings:
Summary:
Spoilers/Disclaimers:
Chapter 1
Lee was sick and tired of moving slowly and stiffly. He was ready to get his bum leg replaced, hop back into a cockpit, and get the hell out from behind this desk. At the very least, he was ready to get up early and run with Kara while she made her daily laps of the Galactica. He’d settle for just being able to stand and sit without groaning. God, he felt old.
Three months ago he had come damn close to losing more than just a healthy leg. He had been an inch away from freezing to death, shot in the leg, and left by his own men to die or be captured by Cylons. That was pure fact. Well, it was true anyway, if not exactly the facts as they were meant to occur.
They had been on a long-shot mission, and he had managed to collect a Cylon shot to the outside of his right thigh. It hadn’t killed him, but it had sent him down and delayed him enough that his crew had needed to leave him behind for the good of the fleet. Hours later, defying orders and putting her career and that of many others on the line, Kara had shown up to drag him — literally — back to life.
He was grateful. He was more than grateful, really. He had no reason that he should be alive, and yet here he was behind a desk in CIC, trying to make sense out of status reports on the Tylium mine they were currently manning and the subsequent processing of the fuel. He should be thrilled to be working at all. He wasn’t.
He was bored. He had never really liked desk-work, even when he’d been teaching at the academy. The practical instruction was fine, and he hadn’t even minded the lecturing, but he absolutely hated the grading and filing and reports that he’d had to write. He wasn’t a sedentary person. He didn’t like to sit. Even once he’d taken a regular flight assignment, he had managed to do most of his reports on the go. A clipboard in hand, jotting as he walked, the paperwork eventually blended into a moving, eventful job.
Now he was not moving. Now he was stuck. And now he was just about finished putting up with it.
Salik had told him six weeks at a minimum to recover. But that had been before they’d had to go back in and remove tissue that had not been healing. Then he was told a month more. By Lee’s calculations, that would have been more than a week ago, but he was still stiff and certain positions were still painful. And he was still on that damn bottom bunk.
He shouldn’t complain about that either. Kara had given up her bed for him, and it had resulted in a couple of fun mornings when she’d rolled off his upper bunk and landed on the floor at his side. Lords, but that woman could cuss with the best of them! She hadn’t been hurt, but she was quick to blame it all on him and grumble sufficiently to make it interesting. Best yet, those early mornings she had refused to climb back up the ladder and had just laid down with him until it was time or her to run. They had taken more than a couple of strange looks from a few of the pilots in quarters, but no one had the bad form to question the CAG when a lieutenant lay down in his bed for a couple of hours.
Truthfully, those were the good moments of his convalescence. Early morning, quiet quarters, dim lights, and Kara curled up in his arms. It hadn’t happened often — maybe three or four times at the most — but some days it was what kept him going. Kara wasn’t much to look at when decked out in flight gear, but snuggled up next to him in her underwear she was as female as they came. He was quite sure that more than one pilot in quarters was a bit jealous, and for once he was glad of the duel status of CAG and Commander’s son so that he didn’t have to make a lot of explanations.
So he didn’t. He just took the mornings as they came, watched wistfully as she dressed in shorts and a running bra for her morning exercise, and wondered silently if there were any way to prop her mattress sideways so that the opportunity would present itself more often.
"Captain Apollo?" Lieutenant Dualla called him again. She had her hand on his arm, and the expression on her face said that she had been trying to get his attention for more than a couple of minutes. Daydreaming was going to get him into trouble.
"Yes?"
"The Commander wants to see you in his quarters," she said with a slight smile. He could only imagine what expression had been on his face as he imagined wedges and props to send his favorite pilot rolling to the floor.
"Thank you," he said simply, and stood painfully to begin the short walk to his father’s room.
Once there he found the door open, so he merely stuck his head in to find Adama, Kara, and the Chief all staring at him. How long had it taken Dee to get his attention, anyway? "You asked to see me?" he asked unnecessarily.
"Come in and shut the hatch," his father told him. He did so. Quickly. Then he tossed a questioning look at Kara to see if she was any better informed than he was. The raised eyebrow and shrugged shoulder she gave him let him know that she was also in the dark.
"I don’t want to keep Lieutenant Thrace from her duties," Adama said with a wink. "So let’s get this started."
"Yeah, who knows what would happen if I was late rewiring that old bucket of bolts that Tyrol found for me," Kara grumbed as she aimed a glare at the Chief. She had been grounded since her little stunt of rescuing Lee, and she wasn’t any happier about her situation than he was about his. Neither of them were meant to be outside a spacecraft for long.
"It may have to wait quite a while," the Commander said with a nod. "I have something in mind for the two of you."
"Flying?" Kara asked eagerly. She looked like she was ready to start bouncing up and down. She was a pilot to the marrow of her bones.
"Not specifically," he corrected. "But yes, you will have to fly down to the planet in order to accomplish the assignment."
"What is it?" Lee asked, taking a seat on the edge of his father’s desk and holding his breath so as not to release a sound. He didn’t want anyone to know how much pain he was in. He was as ready to get off the Galactica as Kara was.
"We’re having some trouble with the mining operation," his father began, and Lee’s spirits plummeted. He didn’t know a damn thing about Tylium processing. "But the problem is with the men, not with the operation."
"What kind of problem?" Kara asked. She was sitting at the foot of Adama’s bed, the only other place to sit besides his father’s chair.
"Primarily discipline," Adama admitted. He took a deep breath and let it out as a sigh. "Our miners have never been the most genteel of sorts, but even the warriors I’ve sent down there are coming back with broken bones. We finally replaced an entire garrison with our own people, but the situation hasn’t improved. In fact, it’s actually worsened. We can’t get the miners to accept the authority of the warriors, and the transport pilots are ready to start a war."
"What does that have to do with us?" Kara asked, flashing Lee a confused look.
"I need people down there I can trust. Lee, I selected you because our miners are military. They at least have some respect for rank, if nothing else. There aren’t many Captains left in the service. And Starbuck, the pilots will respect your flight record because it’s practically legend. Between the two of you, there should be enough authority to calm the situation down."
"Why don’t you just separate the team?" Lee asked. "Split up the trouble makers."
"We don’t know who they are," Adama admitted. "There aren’t a large number of Tylium experts, though, even if we did know what part of the team was causing the problem. That’s actually part of why you’re going down. I need someone who can look at the group from the outside and see if it’s a problem with the whole team, or if it’s just one or two that need to be pulled. We need every Tylium miner we can get, and I don’t want to penalize anyone if there only guilt is in being too afraid to report the real problem."
"We aren’t security," Kara remarked. "I mean, we have basic skills as warriors, but our fighting is done from a Viper. I haven’t had to keep law and order since I was teaching at the academy."
"Me either," Lee added.
"You’re wrong," Tyrol interjected. "You keep order in the flight crew every day, just by being there. Same thing with you, Starbuck. You don’t take any garbage, and they know it, so they don’t even try to throw it at you anymore."
Kara gave a slight grin. She did have a wicked right hook, as more than one of the pilots had found out over the years. But in general, she had spoken the truth. Neither of them were really well versed in hand-to-hand combat, and he was sporting a sore leg on top of it.
"Another issue," Adama continued as he looked through a few sheets on his desk, "Is the need for pilots up here. We have tankers and shuttles running almost around the clock transporting the Tylium to holding stores. We may need it badly in the future. Neither of you are currently on flight status, so you’re my best option to manage the situation planet-side."
"Great," Kara muttered.
"I can always put you back on the junkers," Tyrol said innocently. "If you’d rather not leave the Galactica, that is."
"Oh, no you don’t!" she corrected with a glare.
He shrugged, Adama smiled, and Lee just wondered what kind of a mess they were getting into.
"What kind of trouble — exactly — is going on down at the planet?" he asked.
Adama looked him in the eye and the slight amusement that had been there faded. "Primarily assaults," he said carefully. "We’ve had three attacks in as many days, and no one is telling us who or why. I can’t be sure any other security personnel that I send down won’t be just as tight lipped. I need to know what’s going on down there, and why. This is only the first of what will be many operations for acquiring fuel if we are to survive. I don’t want to keep going through this every time we stop on a planet. I need for the crews to realize that the authority on this ship extends to any planet we occupy. That’s where you come in."
It wasn’t what he would have liked in the way of action, but to Lee it was better than sitting behind a desk. "When do we leave?" he asked simply.
"As soon as you can throw together a few uniforms. You’ll be down there until the mission concludes — ten days, give or take a couple. We want as much Tylium out of that mine as we can possibly carry. I don’t want a repeat of what happened a few months ago."
"Beats the hell out of retooling ancient spacecraft," Kara muttered. "Count me in, too."
"Go ahead and get your things together, Starbuck. I have a few things I want to go over with Apollo as leader of the team."
She nodded, gave a quick salute, and headed out the hatch. As soon as it closed, Lee turned to his father with suspicion. "What can’t you say in front of Kara?" he asked point blank.
The Chief laughed. They sometimes forgot that Adama was his father, and it was pretty hard for the old man to put anything over on his kids. But the Commander’s look squelched Tyrol’s laughter almost immediately.
"This is on a ‘need to know’ basis only, Captain," he told his son.
"Yes, Sir. But if Kara’s going to be down there with me, she may need to know."
"She may, but I’d rather you knew it first."
Lee nodded, but didn’t say anything.
"There have been three assaults," the Commander stated. "One of the victims is dead. The other two have not regained consciousness. That’s one reason that we haven’t been able to identify the party responsible."
"Understood," Lee responded, but he knew there must be more.
"One was a woman. She was in her early forties, very fit, and one of our most efficient miners." He looked up at his son, meeting his gaze unflinchingly. "She was raped, and then murdered."
"Go on," Lee prompted. His face was as deadly serious as his father’s.
"The other two were men. One was a miner, and the other a security guard. Neither has recovered enough to regain consciousness."
Lee thought about that for a moment. Then he considered what must be the primitive living conditions of the temporary mining base. "I don’t think Kara should go," he said simply. "Not if she’d be at risk."
"She won’t be the only one," the Commander said softly. "Both men were largely built, and each was a trained fighter. The miner has been in similar circumstances before, and is known to be able to take care of himself. The security guard was trained at the academy on Caprica."
"So why send a woman down there?"
"Because there are a number of women on the mining team. If any of them knows anything, they would be more likely to speak to another woman than to you. It’s a long shot, but it’s all we have."
"It’s not safe," Lee insisted.
"No, it’s not," Adama agreed. "That’s why you’re going with her. If anyone will keep her close, it’s you."
"What’s that supposed to mean?" Lee asked quietly. Very quietly.
"Only that you’ve known her a long time. She knows you, trusts you, and listens to you better than anyone else, for what that’s worth. She’ll also be sharing sleeping quarters with the person who goes down there with her, and I thought she’d be more comfortable with you."
Lee blushed slightly, but didn’t comment. "I can’t promise she’ll follow my orders any better than anyone else’s. She isn’t very good at listening."
"No, she’s not. But the other reasons I sighted are correct as well. I need an officer down there that can’t be bought off, can’t be run off, and won’t be as much a danger as a help. I can trust you for that. At the moment, I’m not a very trusting man."
Lee sighed. He didn’t like this. At all. "So we go down, we supervise, and we keep our eyes and ears open. That’s all?"
"That’s all I need to say with regards to the mission itself," the Commander said. "The rest is about you."
"What about me?" Lee asked in confusion.
"Can you fly?" Tyrol asked simply.
Lee’s attention flew to the crew chief. "What do you think?" he said wryly.
"I think you still have a decided limp," Tyrol told him. "If I need to make any modifications to the Viper controls, or if you can’t fly and I need to equip a Raptor for Kara to take you down, then you need to tell me."
Lee closed his eyes in frustration. He hadn’t hidden the pain as well as he had thought.
"I know you aren’t in top form for this," Adama admitted. "But you’re my best chance of figuring it out. We don’t have a police force anymore. The military is the only thing between some semblance of law and total chaos. Too many of our fleet seem to think that laws were destroyed with the Colonies. Without a civilian police force, they don’t think there are any rules left to follow — not even those simplest to the maintenance of a society. We cannot let people start tearing one another apart."
"I agree," Lee said softly. "I’ll do my best. I’ll also do my best to express to Kara how serious this is. Maybe if she knows, she’ll be more inclined to stay close instead of rushing off headlong into who knows what." He turned to Tyrol. "I can fly," he said simply. "But getting in and out of the cockpit are going to be a challenge. I can probably do it here, but there aren’t any ladders down on the planet. I guess you’d probably better set up a Raptor or a shuttle."
Tyrol nodded to him and to the Commander, then left to get started.
"Lee?" Adama said softly as he headed for the door.
"Yeah?"
"Before your last mission, I asked Kara to be sure you came back," he admitted. "It’s something I regret only because it was something she had no control over. When I ask you to look out for her, I want you to understand that I realize there are things you can’t control."
"I know," Lee told him with a small smile. "And Kara knew it, too. I can’t tell you why she came back, but I can assure you that it wasn’t because she felt obligated to you. It’s just who she is."
"And you’re much the same way," he replied with a smile that matched his son’s. "Have I told you that I’m proud of you?"
Lee was taken aback at that. His father wasn’t one to lavish praise on a person, and he didn’t know why this was coming up now. "You pinned on a gold cluster," he said, trying to make it into a joke. "I think I figured it out."
Adama shook his head. "I don’t mean as a Commander," he corrected. "Although I’d be damn proud to have any officer of your caliber under my command. I mean as your father. You’ve turned out to be a hell of a lot more than just a fine officer. You’re a responsible and intelligent young man. Whether or not you ever pilot a Viper again, I want you to know that I’m proud of you."
Lee thought about that for a moment. He thought about all that his father was and was not saying. While he appreciated the sentiment, he wasn’t ready to hand in his wings just yet. "Thank you," he finally replied.
He could have told his father that he’d been pretty good himself, but he didn’t know if it was the truth. Adama hadn’t been around very much when Lee had been growing up. He and Zak, and Kara for that matter, had mostly been raised by his mother. Sure, Adama had a couple of ground assignments, but for the most part they had left him restless and short with his family rather than giving them all time to get to know one another. Some men just weren’t made for home and hearth, and William Adama was one of them. It hadn’t meant that he didn’t love them, but it had taken Lee a long time to realize that. Most of his childhood had been spent trying to become what his father would be proud of — to earn a bit of the coveted attention that was usually reserved for his crew rather than his family.
But sometime over the years, Lee had just decided to be himself. He’d made a place for himself in the service because he loved to fly, and it allowed him access to the fastest and most technologically advanced spacecraft available. He had joined the Colonial Service because it had recognized his achievements based on his merit, not on some imaginary potential that Lee had never really understood. He had joined because he had found others like himself — men and women who just wanted to fly, and didn’t mind serving the Colonies for the privilege.
So he wouldn’t lie to his father. He wouldn’t say what a great dad he’d been, or how happy he was to finally be recognized for the son he had wanted to be, even if it had been an unconscious wish. He simply reached out and shook his father’s hand, man to man, and then left him to his office.
He had a number of things to do before he made it down to the planet. He had uniforms to pack and gear to organize. He needed to be sure they had the Raptor equipped with the weapons they might need, and that they were secured so they couldn’t be used against them. He needed to check out side arms from the armory, to be sure that he and Kara could defend themselves if the need arose. And at some point, he needed to figure out how to tell Kara just how much danger she really would be in once they were down on the planet.
Chapter 2
Kara Thrace eased herself behind the controls of the Raptor with a feeling of coming home. It wasn’t a Viper — not by a long shot — but beggars couldn’t be choosers.
It felt good just to be in a pilot’s seat. Rightfully, she shouldn’t be. Lee was the lead pilot, and she was finding it almost difficult not to be glad that he was injured. After all, it was that injury that put her in the pilot’s seat, and it was the one place she wanted to be above all else. No, she didn’t really want Lee hurt, but she was damn glad that she was the one doing the flying.
"We clear?" He asked as he took the seat at the back of the Raptor. She noticed a slight grimace as he sat down, but at least he’d managed to get up into the hatch himself and wasn’t limping unless you were really looking for it.
"Waiting," she told him as she checked with control for a second time.
"That’s affirmative," the disembodied voice came back, pleasant as always. "Raptor two-four-two, ready for take-off. Be safe."
Kara smiled at that. Maybe it wasn’t a standard flight command, but she appreciated Dee’s sentiment just the same.
"Raptor two-four-two, launching."
She waited for the flight deck to rise up into the pod, and then released the magnetic locks on the Raptor and increased power to the engines. As she felt them lose contact with the surface of the flight deck, she couldn’t hold back a sigh of relief.
"Better?" Lee asked her. She could practically hear the smile in his voice, but it didn’t bother her. He understood.
"Almost as good as sex," she fired back, and immediately wished that she’d kept her mouth shut.
Lee didn’t take offense, but instead laughed gently. He probably agreed, but she wasn’t going to give him the opportunity to comment on it.
"This will be a short flight," she informed him. "They have the fleet orbiting pretty tight."
"Small planet," Lee explained. "It has a pretty limited atmosphere. We’re tucked in close because there isn’t much of a gravitational pull. You have to get close to hold orbit."
"Check," she acknowledged. "By the way, do they know we’re coming?"
"Yeah," he answered. She noted that he was coming in loud and clear through only the right side of her communication headset. That meant they were on a sealed frequency, only the two of them privy to the chat rather than sharing the information with all of CIC and anyone else who happened to have a wireless on. The direct line was wired internally to the Raptor, and designed for use so that the pilots could communicate without any possibility of an enemy picking up their conversation.
"And what kind of reception will we get?"
Lee paused a moment before answering. She didn’t know if he was just thinking, or if he was reluctant to tell her. "I’m not sure," he finally said, and she knew it was the former. "The Commander didn’t exactly give them a choice in the matter. He just told them that as a military operation — as all operations are in the absence of a true civilian government — that he wanted his people on site."
"So we definitely weren’t invited," she reasoned.
"Nope."
"Frak."
"That about sums it up."
She gave an internal groan as she reached for the controls to begin landing procedures. She hadn’t been kidding about a short flight. Still, a short flight was better than no flight. She felt like an addict that had gotten a tiny fix. Better, but by no means good. She was going to have to convince Adama that she was ready to go back into Vipers. Even routine patrols would help get rid of the constant gnawing need she had to be in space.
"Raptor two-four-two to Onyx Base," she said clearly, changing to an open frequency almost unconsciously. "We are in range for landing."
"Roger, Raptor two-four-two," a grainy male voice returned. "Your field is clear. Land at will."
"Check," she said simply, and began landing procedures. Lee was silent as he monitored systems and gently adjusted fuel levels so that she could concentrate on her location in space and rate of descent. They really didn’t need to talk. Even though they hadn’t specifically flown a Raptor together in the past, each knew what had to be done and would do so without reminding or discussing. She found it a very refreshing change.
The one thing she had always dreaded most about Raptors was that things were more manageable with a second pilot. She didn’t like to rely on anyone to fly. A Raptor could of course be flown solo, but it was a real handful. That was one of the reasons that Sharon had been given the cluster for her service. Flying a Raptor with no co-pilot, and more specifically jumping with no co-pilot, was a hell of a feat for a rookie. Kara wouldn’t even consider trying it without a whole lot of practice first.
They touched down without so much as a bump, and Kara smiled in satisfaction. She might be a Viper pilot, but she hadn’t forgotten the basics.
"Nice," Lee said softly, in her right ear again.
"Still got it," she said back.
Between the two of them, they were able to shut down systems in record time. Lee checked on the ammunition that they had secured beneath the cabin area, making sure that it was locked in tight and the compartment was not visible. Unless the miners or security were Raptor pilots or mechanics, they probably wouldn’t even know the compartment was there. Kara hoped they wouldn’t need the extra ammunition and explosives, but Adama had wanted them well armed, just in case something went badly wrong.
"Gear secure," Lee told her. His headset was off, and he was just calling across the compartment.
"Thanks," she told him, glad that she wouldn’t have to check it for herself. "Can you get your bag or do I need to?"
It was an innocent question, and probably not too far out of line given the injury he was still recovering from, but the note in Lee’s voice told her she had crossed some invisible line. "I can carry my own clothes," he ground out. "How about your sidearm? Do I need to carry that for you?"
She looked up to glare at him. "I was just being nice," she muttered. "It won’t happen again."
Lee took a deep breath and let it out as a sigh. "And I’m just being over sensitive," he admitted. "Thanks for the offer, but I can manage."
She left it at that, grabbed her own bag, and released the hatch on the Raptor. She didn’t offer to help Lee down, but instead let him jump the last couple of feet on his own. He put his bag down to do it, using his arms on the hatch to reduce the weight to his leg, but otherwise his exit was reasonably normal. He grabbed his bag once he was on the ground.
She was about to ask who was meeting them when she saw a burly man coming towards them. He was filthy from head to toe, and the look on his face was a long way from friendly. "Welcome to Onyx," he told them, the words at odds with his expression. "I’ll take you to your quarters."
Kara glanced over at Lee, but he seemed as confused as she was by the irregular reception. "Are you the mining team leader?" Lee asked him.
"Not me," the man said, his expression softening a bit. "Cops is still in the mine. We hit a snag and he’s trying to unravel it so we can get this done. I’m Dooler, in charge of security."
It explained his irritation at their presence. They were essentially coming in because he couldn’t do his job. "Great," Lee threw in, his voice actually sounding genuine. "Then you can get us briefed on what’s going on and where we need to start to get it cleaned up."
"I could," he admitted, but didn’t offer any more information on the topic. "I didn’t know you were bringing a female," he observed. "We only have one unit available."
"One unit is fine," Lee told him. "Warriors share quarters when necessary. There are two mats, correct?"
Dooler looked back at them. "Yeah."
"Then we’ll be fine," Kara put in, not liking the fact that they were talking about her like an inconvenience rather than an officer. Her voice brought Dooler’s gaze around to her, but he didn’t speak.
"Here it is," he finally told them. It locks from the inside. I recommend you keep it that way after dark. It gets a little wild around here."
"So we’ve heard," Lee told him. Kara kept quiet, because she didn’t think she’d manage to do anything but annoy the chauvinistic Dooler, and they needed information too much to alienate the man. But she wanted to hit him, and was grateful that Lee expressed those same sentiments with his next question. "Is that how security is managing the assaults? Locking themselves in their units?"
Dooler’s look was just this side of furious, and frankly she didn’t blame him. Lee had just accused him of not doing his job — point blank — and even she would have been a little more diplomatic than that. Or maybe not. She purely hated chauvinism.
"I’ve got one guard in the Life Station because he tried to step into that mess after Kathy was killed. I don’t plan on losing any others. So yeah, we lock our doors. If everyone would do it, no one would be around as prey."
"Prey?"
"Yeah," he told them. "If you’re out after the drinking starts, they’ll take you out."
"Who will?" Lee asked.
Dooler shrugged. "Whoever is running this outfit. I don’t know, and I don’t plan to find out. This assignment is going to be over in a week or two anyway. I just want to keep my crew alive until then. Next time they mine a planet, they can get some other idiot to run it."
"Well, don’t worry," Lee told him, irritation clear in his voice. "I’ll see to it that you aren’t bothered."
Dooler looked at him a minute, then gestured Kara inside the unit. She decided to take the gesture in the way it was intended and she left the "men" to sort it out. Following the rules while they were watching her was essential if she wanted to be able to bend those rules when they turned their backs. That didn’t mean she couldn’t listen, though.
"I’d keep that girl locked up," Dooler recommended quickly. "She ain’t half as big as Kathy, and she wouldn’t have a chance against them. She’s also a damn sight prettier than Kathy, so even in the daytime I’d be careful about leaving her alone. Be sure she’s armed, and don’t let her out of calling distance."
Lee was quiet for a long moment. It took all of her control not to head back out of the shelter to set him straight, but Kara managed it. This was one time that the direct approach wouldn’t get her as much information as stealth. She was ready to use whatever it took to get the job done. "So it’s the ladies at risk?" she heard Lee ask.
"Primarily," Dooler admitted. "But you keep your gun close, too. They’ll take out anyone smaller than they are, and they don’t work alone. In the mines they’re okay, but once the drinking starts at night, anyone is fair game."
"They have alcohol?"
Dooler was silent a minute. "Look, this ain’t like the Galactica where they can get into your stuff and be sure you’re following the rules. Miners are a tough bunch, and they work hard. They figure they can do what they want because there aren’t many of them. My guys, some of them, are learning the trade, too. They’re in the mines now. It’s safer to join their games than to try to go against them. They’ll even go after their own, and they have. Killed one, but not before they…" he trailed off, then finished. "Just keep that girl damn close."
Lee didn’t answer, but somehow they must have ended the conversation because she didn’t hear Dooler again and Lee entered the unit, obligingly locking it after he did so. She just looked at him.
"Better safe than sorry," he muttered, and tossed his bag into a corner. She had done the same when she had come in.
It didn’t seem to be the time to question him, so she turned her attention to the unit itself. "All the comforts of home," she muttered, looking at the cloth floor, two thin mats, and several well worn blankets that at least looked clean."
Lee looked at her a moment, and she wondered what was on his mind. He normally didn’t look so intent. "It’ll probably be more comfortable if we stack the mats," he finally said. "If you don’t mind sleeping close, that is."
She nodded. She’d had the same idea herself. "It’d be warmer, too," she added. "Probably gets cold when the sun goes down."
He nodded avidly, and she thought they must look ridiculous as their heads bobbed up and down in time. "And I sleep a little better when I’m warm," Lee put in.
Kara finally just stopped and grinned. "We’re making an awful lot of excuses for this," she told him. "Do you think something’s wrong with it?"
His head went from a nod to a shake in record time. "Nothing’s wrong with it," he defended.
"So why are we justifying it like we’re trying to keep out of the brig?"
He finally smiled with her. "Probably has something to do with the looks we get in quarters," he admitted.
"It’s not their business," Kara told him.
"True, but I’m supposed to be setting the example, and they know it."
"You are," she told him, her smile widening. "There’s more than one couple double-bunked in quarters. It was inevitable. If you put women and men together for a long enough time with no other options, they’re going to pair up. At least some of them will."
"That’s not exactly the same," he argued.
"Does it bother you when the others pair off?
Lee thought about that a moment. "No," he finally said. "It’s their business. So long as they get to work on time, and do their jobs while they’re there, then it really has nothing to do with me."
"Exactly," she agreed. "So if they aren’t our business, then we aren’t their business."
He gave a shrug, but she had the feeling that the matter wasn’t completely settled for him. She wasn’t going to push it. The last thing she wanted to do was make him change his mind. While it had seemed comical the way they had discussed it — bouncing excuses off one another back and forth — each of the reasons they had sited was absolutely true. It was cold at night, and they did sleep better together. For that matter, the nights she’d spent with him were some of the few that she’d managed to get through without nightmares or simply waking up every twenty minutes to listen. He made her feel safe, and that was a rare feeling since the war had begun. She would take the feeling wherever she could get it. It didn’t mean that she had to admit the reasons that she cuddled up with him some nights, but it didn’t hurt her to be honest with herself.
"What do you think of this Dooler guy?" Lee asked as he dragged one thin mat over to cover the other.
She shrugged one shoulder. "Not sure," she admitted. "Doesn’t sound like any security guard I’ve ever known. But he seems pretty useless. What good is security if they don’t do anything but lock the damned doors?"
"And he wasn’t exactly tiny," Lee commented, now reaching for the blankets that were folded at the foot of the top mat. She reached out to help him straighten them out without thought.
"Size isn’t an indicator of strength," she reminded him.
"Don’t I know it," he told her with a wink.
She grinned at his acknowledgement, but didn’t drop the discussion. "And what about the booze? Where would they get it?"
"Alcohol is easy enough to manufacture," he reasoned. "All you need is a still. Or if you don’t have that, fruit juice and time. Both are readily available on the Galactica. There’s also the chance that they’ve found some kind of a store, or withheld it from the inspections we’ve made on the ships. We tried to get it all dumped, but there are a limited number of people and not everyone we dealt with was cooperative."
"So, we know already that we have nasty miners, lazy security, and alcohol thrown into the mix. Why doesn’t your father just pull the plug? They can’t be the only people willing to mine Tylium for the fleet."
"Actually, they pretty much are," he corrected. They had straightened the blankets on the bed, and Kara had sat down on the mats while she listened. Lee remained standing as he talked. "Mining Tylium is as much an art as a trade. The way the rocks hold it takes as much instinct as skill to get it out. Sure, we could tear the whole mountain apart, but we don’t have the equipment or the time for that, and we’d lose a lot of it in the process. These guys are quick, and they know their stuff. Some of them have been doing it for generations. They learned it from their fathers and grandfathers."
"Sounds dull," she admitted, looking up at him with a curious expression. "You don’t want to sit?"
He gave her a wry grin. "I’m wondering just how much it’ll hurt to get down there," he admitted. "And then there’s getting up."
She shook her head in exasperation. "You could just ask, you dolt," she said briskly. Standing, she offered him a hand to use as a support to get himself down. He winced a bit, but didn’t make a sound. She figured that was the best they could hope for. He stretched out his sore leg, shifted a bit, and finally just lay down on the mats.
"Comfortable?" she asked with amusement.
"Not often," he admitted, giving her an honest answer where she hadn’t expected one. She had been sarcastic in her comment, but his reply was dead serious. "But it’s getting better."
"Were you really ready for this mission, or just ready to do something?"
"I don’t know," he admitted. "But I don’t think I could stand another day sitting in CIC and shuffling paperwork. I don’t know how they do it and stay sane."
"They aren’t you," she explained, lying down beside him. He had his hands behind his head as a makeshift pillow, so she borrowed one of those elbows to use as a headrest.
"Lucky them," he muttered.
"Feeling sorry for yourself?" she asked him softly. He had every right after all, even if it wasn’t like him.
"No," he told her a moment later. "Right now I’m feeling pretty good."
She turned her head to look at him and found he had done the same. Face to face, they looked at each other for a moment before he lifted his head and planted a soft kiss on one side of her forehead. She smiled as he laid his head back down and just relaxed for a moment. She had to admit that she was feeling pretty good at the moment, too.
Chapter 3
If Dooler had been indifferent, then Cops was absolutely confrontational. Despite a pleasant attitude and more experience with diplomacy than he cared to admit, Lee could not get past the living mountain’s open hostility.
"We ain’t military," the huge brute argued. "No reason for you to be here."
"The Tylium is for the fleet, which is indirectly military because it falls under the Galactica’s protection. That places it of utmost importance to us, and so it follows that we need to see to the efficiency of the operation."
"We’re efficient enough," Cops growled. "And we got our own security here, don’t we guys?" The last was said with a leer towards a couple of private security guards that were supposedly under Dooler. They seemed even less inclined to provide support, and if Lee had to put money on it, he’d say that they were more than just impassive. Most likely, they were actively involved in whatever was going wrong on this planet. His father had told them that the security officers were military, but no one was in uniform and Lee hadn’t heard a single reference to rank. Frankly, he had his doubts. The few names he had been supplied with containing ranks and positions simply hadn’t popped up. Lee didn’t know if they were missing, or if they had never been sent in the first place. He planned to pose the questions just as soon as he was able to contact the Galactica.
"Perhaps," Lee said in his most tolerant voice, "But there has already been one death among your team. Surely you would like to see that investigated."
"If she’d been in my bed instead of out in the woods, wouldn’t no one of got her," Cops reasoned. "She got what was comin’ to her."
Lee took a deep breath, held it a moment, and then silently released it. He had dealt with more imbecilic people, he was sure; he just couldn’t remember when. "No one deserves to be beaten to death," he said quietly. "Regardless of whose bed she was or wasn’t in."
Cops shrugged again, as though the matter meant nothing to him. Likely it didn’t. "How about that girl of yours?" he asked with an open leer at Kara. "Whose bed she sleepin’ in?"
Lee didn’t think he reacted, but he noted that Kara’s hand had gone to her side arm. She didn’t like these people any more than he did. And she was in considerably more danger than he had first anticipated. Yes, there were women among the miners, but they were as coarse and rude as the men, and even less inclined to speak with Colonial Warriors. Lee suddenly realized that he might just have as much trouble protecting the miners — potential sources of information if nothing else — safe from Kara as he would keeping Kara safe from them. It might come down to brawls and guns after all. Lee couldn’t even find it in him to mind. Truthfully, diplomacy wasn’t getting him very far.
"My own," Kara told him firmly. The look on her face proved to Lee that he did have something to worry about. Damn-it Kara, he thought. Why can’t you shut up and follow orders just once?
There was laughter among the men, but most of it was more threatening than humorous. He really wished his father hadn’t chosen Kara for this mission. He didn’t know if he was going to be able to protect her without extreme measures, and he didn’t want to resort to that just yet.
"So these are Colonials?" another man asked. Lee thought he’d been introduced as Sanders, but he couldn’t remember. That in itself was fairly unusual, and an indication of how preoccupied Cops had him. Remembering names and addressing people appropriately was a primary rule for establishing diplomatic talks. All that really registered was that the guy apparently didn’t know a Colonial uniform on sight, and that didn’t speak well of the possibility that the security people here possessed them. It worried Lee more than anything else had so far. His father wasn’t nearly as well informed about the security as he had hoped. That meant that someone higher up was probably involved, as military security had apparently never made it to the planet. Great.
"We’re not here to cause problems," Kara said stepping forward from her place at the wall. He would have preferred that she stayed there, because there was no possibility of anyone getting behind her, and she could guard her front more than adequately with the gun. "We’re here to help solve them. Our only goal is to be sure that you are able to do your jobs and that nobody else gets hurt."
Many of the men openly laughed. Lee had expected it. Here, the women were valued according to how productive they were in the mines, and that was about it. Apparently they were treated more as property than people, which bothered Lee on a level he didn’t have time to address. He watched as fury climbed up Kara’s face in a flush of red. She was an officer, and used to be taken seriously. She wouldn’t accept being laughed at.
There were reasons that the miners didn’t value women, though. Part of the issue was that most of the miners were from isolated locations back on Gemini, with a culture and value system of their own. They were used to living in the heavy, mountainous regions of the planet, digging in the nearly limitless mines of Tylium. The geologists had determined that Gemini was primarily made up of Tylium beneath the surface, woven through the rocks and caverns. It had made the colony a bit of an enigma in that there were two distinct classes. One class was rich from the sale of the plentiful fuel, and the other was a working class that existed below the poverty level, living and dying in the mines of the planet.
So the rules of civilized society didn’t necessarily apply to them, or at least they hadn’t applied previously. Before the war, the military had stayed clear of Gemini except for the few individuals that enlisted or applied to the academy, or for the purchase of the fuel it needed to keep things running. In fact, if the situation were more normal the Galactica would simply purchase the Tylium from the land owners and probably never even be aware of the culture that existed to mine the ore in the first place. It was sad, but it was a reality.
But things weren’t normal, and they did have to deal with what few miners were left to do the job. Unless the fleet was to come up with some completely efficient form of solar fueling — not a likely solution due to both the irregular occurrence of solar bodies in the system and a lack of scientists for the technological research — they were stuck with Tylium. It was the only ore that burned hot enough and long enough to power the majority of their ships. Anything else was too heavy and too inefficient to be useful. Tylium wasn’t optional, and so dealing with the miners wasn’t either.
"I understand that you don’t want us here," Lee put in, trying to divert the attention that Kara had brought to herself by speaking. If she wouldn’t do it for herself, he’d have to keep her safe on his own. "But we don’t have any more say about it than you do. Like it or not, the military is running this and we’re under orders to make sure that things hold together down here. Now, you can look at it one of two ways. You can see us as here to help, and willing to solve whatever problem is causing people to get attacked and murdered in the middle of the night, or you can look at us as an interruption to your schedule and your lives. The choice is yours. The bottom line though, is that our fleet has no place for murderers unless you count the Astral Queen. So you can either help us out or you can make this harder, but either way we’re going to get it done or none of you will be returning to the fleet."
Cops took a step forward, his demeanor clearly menacing. "You sayin’ they’d leave us behind just because there’s been a little trouble on the site?"
"I’m saying that we will find out what’s going on. One way or the other. Period."
"That went well," Kara said blandly as they walked back into their unit and Lee carefully locked and double-checked the door behind them.
"Right," he muttered sarcastically.
"Maybe we should just leave them here," she suggested. "Tylium notwithstanding, there’s not much reason to have people like that around. If they kill each other off, it’s better for all concerned."
"You believe that?" Lee asked her.
She glared at him a moment, then sighed. "Did you see how they looked at me," she mumbled, running her hands up and down her arms as though she were cold. "I felt like a piece of meat. Just give me ten minutes with any one of them and I’ll give them a definite education."
"I noticed," Lee admitted, walking over to add his hands to hers, rubbing warmth into her arms. "You cold?" he asked when he felt her shiver even through the material of her uniform.
"Not exactly," she admitted. "I’m just pissed off. They reminded me of some of the imbeciles that I’ve dealt with over the years. Just having them look at me made me feel… dirty. I didn’t know whether to hit them or hide. It was the damnedest feeling."
"It won’t get better," Lee told her. "You can take the Raptor back up to the Galactica if you want to. There’s no way my father knew what it was like when he assigned you down here. We haven’t even come across the military security that was supposed to be watching things."
"And leave you? I don’t think so," she argued. "You’re barely on your feet, and quite frankly I’m better in a fight than you are. Something tells me it may come to that. Lords I hope so; I’d really love to hit somebody."
"I’ve got a better chance of finding something out than you do," he argued. "For that matter, they might be more open with you not around. They don’t have a lot of respect for women."
"Really?" she asked with a glare.
"I’m not agreeing with them," he told her softly, moving in closer as his hands slowed on their path up and down her arms. "I just worry about you. It’s allowed. I’ve been keeping you out of trouble for most of my life. Don’t expect me to stop trying now."
She didn’t move away from him, and he considered that a good sign. She seemed annoyed, but not really angry. "You’ve been watching me get into trouble most of my life," she admitted. "I don’t remember you doing much to keep me out of it."
His hands eased from her arms, sliding gently around her back to hold her in a loose hug. "I don’t keep you out of anything unless you let me," he admitted. "You’re as stubborn as they come."
"Me?" Her voice was more sarcastic than either innocent or offended.
"Yes, you," he said with an unwilling smile. Her arms had slid around his waist, and he liked the way that she stood almost, but not quite, eye to eye with him.
They looked at one another for a long moment before she spoke. He had a feeling before he even heard the words that he wouldn’t like what she was going to say. "We’re going to have to talk about this eventually, you know."
As a diversion from her desire to attack an entire mining colony, it wasn’t what he would have chosen. This path had as many mine fields as discussing cultures that had no respect for females in general, and a dislike of strong women in particular. Deciding that an attempt at innocence might at least divert her, he lifted up his chin and tucked her head beneath it so that he wouldn’t have to look at her. "Talk about what?"
"This," she repeated, tightening her hold at his waist for emphasis. She wasn’t going to drop it after all. "What’s going on here."
"I’d rather not," he admitted sheepishly, still not letting her look up at him. "It feels too good to mess it up by trying to figure it out."
He felt her breath against his neck, and held his breath until she laid her head on his chest and slipped her arms fully around him. "I know," she whispered. "But I don’t want to mess it up by pretending it’s not there, either."
"We’ll talk," he finally told her, giving in and letting discussion of the mission slide for the moment. "But can we just enjoy it a while longer, first? This isn’t the place or the time to hash out what our relationship is, or isn’t, or might be, or whatever."
"You probably have a point," she agreed. "But it won’t go away."
He finally released her, looking her in the eye as he did so. "God, I hope not," he said fervently. Then he watched as a wash of read started at her neck and moved steadily upwards. He loved it when she blushed.
"Okay, talk later," she concluded. "Besides, I’m not going anywhere."
"Somehow, I didn’t think you would," he told her with half admiration and half disgust. "You never have known what was good for you. Well, if you’re staying, we need some ground rules."
"Ground rules?"
"You stay with me," he said firmly. "You go to the latrine, and I walk you. You go for a run, and I’m with you. You need to get something to eat, I’m there. Got it?"
"You have to be kidding," she argued.
"No, I’m not."
"Lee, I can take care of myself! I’ve been doing it for a damned long time, and I don’t plan to start letting others do it now. I wasn’t kidding about ten minutes with that guy; I’ll bust him in half."
"Or his team would pound you into the ground," Lee corrected. "There’s two of us and more than thirty of them. Do the math, Kara, and try to think of this sensibly. We need information, and we won’t get it by beating it out of them, as much as you might want to. The best way is to just blend, and to do that you’re going to have to keep a low profile. That means I’m with you… period. You can either agree to it and follow orders, or we can get back in the Raptor and I’ll trade you in on somebody who can listen. I have enough to worry about with them; I won’t fight with you over basic security precautions."
Kara glared at him but didn’t speak. He watched her as she turned it over in her mind, measured whether he meant it or not, and then finally resigned herself to the situation. Lee found it almost funny that he could read each emotion in the variant shades of her eyes, her expression, and the grip of her arms around his body. He knew her far too well.
"My own armed guard," she said in a fluttery voice, batting her eyelashes dramatically. He almost laughed. Lords, but she was hating this. The one thing that kept his laughter in check was that he wasn’t very fond of the situation either. He didn’t want to have to guard her any more than she wanted to be guarded.
But at least she wasn’t arguing. "If I have to leave you here, you lock the door," he added. "And armed is exactly what you need to be. All the time, wherever you go, don’t you dare take that gun off."
Her expression relaxed finally. Giving her some reminder that she was indeed competent had given her back some of her pride. She would need that to get through this mission. "Understood," she said simply.
He looked at her a moment more, but still felt that this had been entirely too easy. She hadn’t pressed him for answers about whatever the hell was happening between them, and she wasn’t arguing very much about sensible precautions for her safety. It wasn’t like her.
"What?" she asked, apparently picking up on his confusion.
"I don’t know," he said with consideration. "Waiting for the blowup, I suppose."
She shook her head and released a loud sigh. "Those guys are right out of some stereotypical low budget horror film," she grumbled. "And as much as I’d love to tear them apart, they’d just as soon shoot me as look at me. I’ve got enough sense to know I don’t want to get into the middle of that, or at least to know that I don’t want you in the middle of it because of me. Lee, I may be stubborn, but I’m not stupid."
He looked at her a moment more, measuring her honesty, and then nodded his head. At least something was going right on this mission. "Well then, get your clothes together and I’ll walk you down to the facilities. If you want to clean up, now’s the time. I doubt you’ll run into any of them near water, but it could happen."
She glared at him for a moment. "You’re turning your back," she informed him firmly.
"So are you," he reminded her.
Smiling, the two of them went about gathering their things to go down to the small washing area that was set up, and Lee doubted had ever been used.
Lee was a long way from feeling clean, but he did feel better. He and Kara had taken turns cleaning up at the single water spigot, and while it didn’t have the same effect as a shower, it was essentially passable. It would have to do while they were here. She had only walked off on him once, and then she hadn’t been far from his sight. He couldn’t blame her for wanting to hit the latrine without an escort, but he had bawled her out just the same. Afterwards she’d been more furious than chastened, but he’d made his point that he wasn’t kidding.
They had grabbed a couple of nutrition packs when they returned to the unit, deciding that they didn’t want to further annoy their reluctant hosts by using up food stores, regardless of the fact that they had been provided by the Galactica in the first place. In all honesty, Lee just wanted an excuse to stay away from them for a while longer. He’d never had to deal with such an uncooperative bunch of people, and he wasn’t looking for a repeat performance. If he also wanted to keep Kara out of their sight for a while longer, then he didn’t dwell on it. He still wasn’t willing to trust her diplomatic skills around them; she was too volatile to take the risk.
Now he and Kara were seated across from one another on the mats and blankets that would serve as their bed. They had a deck of cards spread between them and were playing a noncompetitive game of single pyramid. Lee had no desire to get whipped at cards, but it passed the time to help Kara find patterns in the deck and replace matches when she found them.
"Over there," he indicated, noting a move she hadn’t seen yet.
"Got it," she answered. She moved the cards he had mentioned and a few others as well.
"Hey!"
Lee looked up at the unfamiliar voice that was raised outside the unit. He gestured for Kara to remain sitting, but he eased himself painfully to his feet and put one hand on his blaster. When he opened the door slightly to the dim evening, he was surprised to see one of the guards they had been introduced to earlier. "Cable, right?" he asked quietly.
The large man nodded quickly, and kept his voice fairly low. "I just wanted to tell you to watch out for Cops," he said just above a whisper. "He’s a mean one. He doesn’t make a lot of sense, but he runs that mine with an iron fist. He’s not real happy about the government getting into his business, and he’s been making some threats around the guys. He’ll follow through on them if he gets the chance."
"You want to come in?" Lee asked, realizing the man was taking a chance talking to him at all if Cops was as bad as he said.
Cable shook his head firmly, and lowered his voice further. "He’s been talking about the lady," he said quickly. "He thinks she’s really something. He was saying he was gonna shut her up if he got the chance. I just thought you should know."
"Is he the one behind this mess?" Lee asked quietly. "If he is, we can have it all done and over with without any trouble. I just need to know."
"He didn’t take out Caya, if that’s what you man. I don’t know about Johnson or Bailey. I was in the mine late when that happened. But I was with him when he found Caya, and he was mad. He didn’t have anything to do with her."
Lee nodded his understanding. "You sure you don’t want to come in?"
"He catches me, I’m dead," Cable said simply. "But the lady… Well, I had a sister, back before the war. I don’t want to see anything happen to her."
Lee gave a quick nod of thanks. "I appreciate it."
Cable nodded once more, then slipped off into the woods. Lee watched him a moment more, then went back into the unit and locked it behind him. Absently he wondered just how much good the lock would do if someone really wanted to get in. He also wondered just how loud it would be if he and Kara were sleeping. Would it wake them?
"Problem?" she asked as he moved back towards the mat and lowered himself carefully.
"Not really," he said thoughtfully. "One of the security guards paying a courtesy visit. I guess Cops wasn’t too fond of you."
"Gee, I’m sorry about that," she muttered in disgust. "And here I thought he was such a sweet guy."
He couldn’t suppress a grin. "Cable may be an ally, though," he said seriously. "He said Cops wasn’t responsible for the woman, but doesn’t know about the men. So even if he’s the ringleader, there’s more than one player in this little game."
Kara took a deep breath and let it out on a huff. "We’re not investigators," she remarked. "We’re pilots. What was your father thinking when he sent us down here? We aren’t even trained as guards, really. Just basic self-defense."
"He was thinking he could trust us," Lee suggested. "There isn’t much of a civilian police force left, and what little remains is mostly mercenary in nature. Those skills are marketable. That leaves us with a few peacekeepers, but most are pretty low ranking. If they don’t’ have respect for a Captain, they sure aren’t going to listen to a Lieutenant."
"Thanks," she told him with a sideways grin.
"You know what I mean," he said. "I think he would have sent Tigh if he could have spared him. Or even Kelly. But they’re so overloaded in CIC with tactical and coordination issues that he can’t spare anyone. Hell, the only reason we’re expendable is because I’m wounded and you’re grounded."
"You’re not expendable," she corrected. "Just… out of commission."
"Temporarily," he agreed.
"Or longer," she said with some genuine concern. "That leg doesn’t look much better."
"No, it doesn’t," he began, and then stopped and looked up at her quickly. "You looked!" he accused.
"Not really," she said with a slight blush and a huge grin. "I might have glanced…"
"You little brat," he said with mock outrage. "You said you’d turn your back!"
"I did," she insisted. "Then I turned back around."
He didn’t know whether to hug her or hit her for the clear invasion of privacy, but decided that neither would do the job. Instead he reached over and pushed on one shoulder, effectively sending her sprawling backwards onto the mats and scattering her neatly arranged cards.
"Hey!" she squealed.
"You’ll pay," he announced dramatically, pinning her carefully with a hand on each shoulder and his good leg tucked carefully beneath him to keep the pressure off the sore one.
"Fine," she laughed, not bothering to resist his hold. "What’s that peek gonna cost me?"
"I don’t know," he said as he grinned down at her. "Maybe…" He leaned down and his grin faded. Slowly, gently, he placed his lips against hers. It was a tentative kiss, more a question than anything else. Almost as soon as he did it, he felt a wave of panic. What if this was out of line? What if she didn’t feel the same way?
But the panic eased as he felt her lips move gently against his. She wasn’t acting any more sure of it than he was, but neither was she protesting. They kept the kiss gentle, questing, and just a little uncertain. He was wondering how far he should really take this, and how much would be too much, when the pain hit.
He hadn’t been paying attention to his legs. His attention had been on Kara. Somewhere in his lack of attention he’d put his right leg down on the mat and allowed a little too much weight to slip in that direction. The result was a cramp that had effectively quenched any interest in romance and had him firmly believing that there was a knife buried somewhere in this thigh.
He pushed with his right arm, taking all the weight off his leg and rolling painfully off Kara and onto his left side. He still couldn’t quite catch his breath, but the pain was easing a little. His eyes were squeezed shut against the agony of damaged muscle and healing skin.
He didn’t think much after that. He concentrated on his breathing, in and out, trying desperately to make the pain go away, or at least to ignore it until it did so on its own. It was a few minutes before he was really aware of anything, and that was fine with him. He didn’t want to think. More importantly, he didn’t want to feel.
Awareness returned a few moments later, as the spasming muscle finally relaxed and he could begin to think. The first thing he noticed was Kara, kneeling at his side with a hand on either side of his face. Her expression was nothing short of panic, but she hadn’t left him. "What can I do?" she whispered.
He shook his head, feeling her hands against his cheeks, keeping him focused on her. "It’s better," he admitted, his hand coming to rest over one of hers. "I’m okay."
They stayed that way for a few moments more, until finally he couldn’t help but laugh. He knew he needed to try to explain it to Kara, but at the moment he couldn’t get anything past the humor of the situation. When he finally calmed down and dried his eyes, he saw an uncertain smile on her face.
"That didn’t go over very well, did it?" he asked with a smile. "So much for impressing you with how smooth I can be."
Her smile was slow, but gradually she began to see the humor in the situation. "It’s a first kiss we’ll remember," she agreed. Then, more seriously, "Are you okay now?"
He nodded, taking one of her hands and bringing it to his lips to give her palm a hard kiss. "I’m fine," he said gently. "Or I will be. The doc said it would take time. So I’m just waiting."
"Would you tell me if you weren’t?"
There was a long pause before he nodded gravely. "I think I would."
She gave him a sweet smile and ran her thumb across his cheek once before releasing him and sitting back on the mat. "Be sure you do," she told him carefully. "And about the rest, well…"
"We have time," he finished for her.
She nodded silently.
He looked at her a moment more before he rolled to the side and grabbed one of the blankets to tug over him. He picked up her cards with one hand and set them aside. It was a little early to lie down, but he couldn’t quite bear the thought of trying to stand back up.
Kara raised an eyebrow, but didn’t question. She turned herself around so that she was facing away from him and backed into his arms. "I guess tomorrow will be an early one," she acknowledged. "May as well get some sleep before things get crazy out there."
"Sounds good," he agreed. They lay there for a few minutes before he reached up and brushed her bangs back behind her ear and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Do you have any clue how important you are to me?" he said very quietly.
She was silent for a long moment, so long in fact that he thought she might have fallen asleep despite the early hour. Then, he heard her, in a voice as faint as his had been. "I think I do," she admitted. "And it’s mutual."
Chapter 4
Following a group of untrustworthy giants down into a hole in the ground wasn’t exactly Kara’s idea of a good time. Unfortunately, the only alternative was to let Lee go by himself, and she was not letting that happen. He wasn’t at his best in the first place — his leg had given him some trouble this morning — and in the second place she was not letting him leave her behind. She wasn’t afraid of the men; not exactly. But she sure as hell didn’t like them. Besides, without him around she was likely to belt one of them and get herself into more trouble than she really wanted to deal with. She’d caused enough problems for herself with disobedience of orders in recent memory. She wasn’t really sure that either her wings or her commission could tolerate more.
On the other hand, she had to admit a certain grudging respect for what the minters were doing. It was filthy work, and they hadn’t developed their builds by sitting in front of a computer monitor or flying a plane. It was hard, physical work and she even experienced a bit of envy as she watched a couple of the women manage equipment and ore that she couldn’t have thought of lifting.
Lee was uncharacteristically silent as they listened to Cops extolling the virtues of the mine, and the problems they had solved in record time to follow the vein of Tylium. Kara thought a good deal of his reserve was due to the uneven ground they were walking on. It was difficult enough for her to keep her step in the dim light of helmets, but for him it must be torture. She had seen the night before just how much pain the injury could still cause him, so she didn’t blame him for watching his step.
"Move that drill over," Cops called out to one of his men as they passed by one active section of the hole that had been carved out of the earth using hand operated and cool-engine equipment. It was slower than explosives for tearing up the ground, but much safer around a combustible ore.
The man he’d yelled at grunted, picked up a drill that must have weighed over a hundred pounds, and repositioned it without even slowing the bit. Okay, she was more than a little envious of that kind of strength. She wasn’t a wimp by any stretch of the imagination, but that level of fitness was in an entirely different league from keeping healthy and staying sane.
That was another reason Kara was on edge today. Aside from the less than ideal living conditions and unfriendly company, she hadn’t been able to get her run in. Lee had offered to take her, but given his pain the night before she just couldn’t take him up on it. He wasn’t ready to start running. She wasn’t entirely sure he was ready for walking. Either way, she wouldn’t put him in the position of either doing what he shouldn’t or letting her down. She had even thought of taking off by herself, but knowing him he would have tried to follow, the idiot. He acted as though she couldn’t keep herself together long enough to fire a blaster. The miners might be tough, or even threatening, but they’d go down just as quickly as anyone else give a well placed shot.
So they had gotten up early, dressed in clean clothes and tough boots, and had eaten a couple of nutrition packets on their way to the mine. Lee said they needed to get on some kind of equal footing with Cops if they were going to get things done, and they couldn’t do it if they were in different locations. Cops wouldn’t come to them, so they had gone to him. After a few minutes of grumbling and cursing, the miner had offered to show them around.
She supposed it was a step in the right direction. At the very least the miner had gone from actively insulting her and leering to purely ignoring her. In its own way it rankled just as much. She wasn’t used to being ignored, and she didn’t appreciate it. Only her respect for Lee had kept her mouth shut during the insults, and now even that well earned respect was running very thin. She had finally stopped asking questions when Cops acted as though he never heard her, and instead directed his attention to Lee. If he’d dismissed her once more, she would have to kill him, and she was really doing her best to stay out of hack for the rest of this mission. If she stopped giving him the opportunity, it was just possible that he might live through this tour.
Sometime since yesterday the man had decided that he didn’t have much choice but to listen to the Captain. Probably it had been the implied threat of being left outside the Galactica’s protection, or maybe just the fact that he was military and therefore had some options that the civilian security men didn’t. She couldn’t be sure. But some kind of a miracle must have occurred, because at the very least he was speaking to Lee. She tried to count it as progress, but it only underscored his treatment of her, and that purely pissed her off.
Last night had been quiet so far as she knew, and she was a reasonably light sleeper. Neither she nor Lee had heard anything going on, drunken or otherwise, during the late night or early morning hours. She knew Lee had spent part of that time awake, ready for whatever might happen, but she had mostly slept. She had offered to stay up with him, but he had insisted that it wasn’t necessary, so she had slept with his good leg as a pillow while he sat and listened and waited. Eventually he had lain back down, but she wasn’t sure what time that had been.
So she imagined that he was tired as well as in pain as he hiked through the interior of the mine. Kara was truly impressed by the size of the mine itself. The crew had been working here for only a couple of weeks, but they had tunneled out thousands of pounds of the ore. Considering that most of their tools were manual, and that there were only about thirty miners on the site, it was quite an accomplishment. She would have told them that if she thought they would have cared a bit what her opinion was. As it was, she didn’t bother. If they could ignore her, then she could ignore them. At the very least she had no intention of complimenting them.
Kara took a moment to glare at the woman who had currently stopped her work and was sneering. Apparently the women weren’t much happier to have her there than the men, but they weren’t bothering to ignore her. She should have ignored it, but she was getting royally sick of it. Perhaps she was a little bit spoiled by the respect she received on the Galactica — a respect that she had earned, damn it — but open hostility wasn’t something she found acceptable.
"We’re workin’ mostly down in here," Cops was saying as he gestured towards about ten men that were managing various large pieces of equipment. The women nearby were loading ore onto a conveyor belt that transported the ore to the surface where it could be processed and packaged for the trip to the fleet. "We got a lot more ore down here than we could get out in a couple of weeks," he added. "But that commander says we ain’t got no more time than that."
Kara had the passing thought that Cops couldn’t have a clue that "that commander" was Lee’s father, regardless of their matching names. She chalked that up to his clear failure to pay any attention to their purpose for being there. He had no respect for any of them, rank or no, and she felt that her and Lee’s entire mission was a waste of time. She had told Lee that, and more than once, but he was a diplomat at heart. She decided he must have inherited that from his mother, because even the eldest Adama didn’t have this level of tolerance. On the other hand, Cops ignorance helped her to almost tolerate his level of idiocy. After all, if she could find it in her to pity him, then she might just make it through the mission without doing him bodily harm. Maybe.
"What’s that machine for?" Kara finally asked, her curiosity getting the best of her. It was at least ten feet high, and was doing something to the ore before the women took it to the belt. It wasn’t her fault that she liked to know how things worked. It was the same character flaw that had sent her up under her Viper beside Tyrol on more than one occasion. It was also the reason she was one of the few pilots who could do most of her own repairs, although all of the pilots were now helping with routine maintenance. She wondered how these miners would feel about knowing she not only flew the Vipers that saved had their butts, but could take one apart and put it back together as well..
Cops ignored her outright. Oh, he glanced back at her to be sure she realized that he heard her, but he ignored the question entirely. She resisted the urge to beat an answer out of him, and restrained herself only because there were a hell of a lot more of them than there was of her, and her understanding of odds went well beyond the card table. Fine. He was rude. She could deal with it. She would deal with it.
"What is this used for," Lee said clearly, coming to a stop and gesturing to the machine Kara had mentioned.
Cops glared at her again before he answered Lee. "That’s the first part of the processing," he said. "It chunks out the ore so that we don’t send any rock out to the heaters. Rocks mess up the system."
When Cops had turned to continue his guided tour, Kara couldn’t help sticking her tongue out at Lee. He just winked, and followed behind Cops. Men. She would have felt a little better if Lee had at least tried to stick up for her a little. She would remember this the next time the pilots were making backwards comments behind his back. But at least she had the answer to her question, so that was something.
The remainder of the tour went along on a similar vein. She learned a lot about the processing and actual mining of the rock, or at least enough to appreciate why they needed people who knew what they were doing to manage it. She listened as Cops detailed the dangers of the mine, ranging from the lack of mine supports due to their lack of time to build them to the explosive nature of Tylium. It wasn’t something she thought she would want to do. She also wasn’t comfortable with the closed-in feeling that seemed to press down on her while she had been under ground. She had always been just a little claustrophobic — even to the point of not enjoying hugs as a child — but this was another level. She had to constantly tell herself that there was indeed enough air to breathe, otherwise she couldn’t do it.
When they finally made it above ground, they all washed off at the spigot, where she had to wait to go last. Idiots. Lee didn’t make waves, though. He just stood close and handed her a towel once she’d finished and refused to walk off without her. That was the only thing that kept Cops there. It was also the only thing that kept her from telling Cops just what she thought of his outdated perception of women. Gemini was gone, and it was time these relics learned some manners. If Lee would just turn his back for a moment, she might just teach them something.
Dooler had also joined them once they were back at the surface. He wasn’t saying much, but she noted that he and a couple of his guards did tend to stay close. She didn’t know if they were guarding her and Lee or Cops and his crew. It could have been either. She wished that she could care either way, but mostly she was just irritated. She wasn’t the type of person to be ignored for extended periods of time. It simply wasn’t in her. And for Lee’s sake she really didn’t have much of a choice. Now.
"Any suspects?" Lee asked her once they were back to their unit.
"One’s as likely as another," she muttered. "If you want my opinion, that is."
He had the audacity to smile at her. "It’s cultural," he reassured her. "Don’t take it personally. If you were anyone else, they probably wouldn’t have even let you go down into the mine. As it is, they don’t know what to do with a woman who has authority. I think that’s why you’re being ignored. We made it clear that we won’t let you be insulted, so ignoring is the best they can do."
"Right," she grumbled reluctantly. It didn’t make her feel any better. Cultural or not, she hated it when people were rude. "At least they’re talking to you."
"Some," he agreed as he tugged off the grubby work uniform he’d worn down into the mine and reached for another. "I’m hoping I can get a little more out of them when they get together tonight."
"Gee, fun," she remarked, her words almost dripping with sarcasm. A room full of idiots ignoring her didn’t sound like a good time, but there was no way Lee was going in there without backup.
"You don’t have to go," he assured her. "I can leave you locked in here. They might even talk a little better if you weren’t around."
"You’re joking, right?" she asked, anger replacing the sarcasm. "You’d leave me here? You won’t let me go to the frakking toilet by myself, but you’d leave me here?"
"The door locks," he reminded her. "It’s not like you want to be around them."
"Not a chance," she corrected. "I’m not staying here by myself." She had reached down to tug her shirt over her head, glad to be rid of the filthy material. Clad only in her pants and bra, she faced down Lee with her hands on her hips. "You made the damn rules, and you can follow them just as much as I can. There is no possible way you are leaving me here."
"Fine," he consented, pulling his clean shirt on. "Go get leered at," he muttered. "Sorry I tried to keep you out of it."
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You can’t go in there on your own anyway," she reminded him. "You can’t talk and cover yourself at the same time. A second gun can only be a good thing."
"Well, you’re not going anywhere if you don’t put some clothes on," he informed her.
She managed not to blush at that. Barely. They had been dressing and undressing in one another’s presence since they were children. She’d had a few moments of shyness over the years, but usually he was the one to remind her that bodies were just bodies and they’d both seen it before. For some reason, his bringing up her clothing — or lack thereof — now made her feel a bit uneasy. Damn. She had known last night that things were going to change. This was just what she was trying to avoid.
"The door’s still locked, and I’m not finished," she informed him, fighting the urge to grab her shirt. It was a matter of principle now. He had seen her in her bra and skivvies before. He would just have to deal with it. "Will you or will you not be safer with me there?"
He glared at her. She’d bet she had surprised him by not backing down. He had no clue how tough she could be when she wanted to. "Probably," he admitted. "But you’d be safer here."
"I can take care of myself."
He took an obvious breath and let it out as he rested his hands on his hips in an imitation of her position. "I’m not questioning that," he said with what was clearly a forced calm. "You’ve saved my ass more times than I can count. I have absolutely no doubt that you can hold your own with me, Cops, or probably any other man in that is on this planet." He closed his eyes, took another breath, and continued. "But they aren’t the type to go one-on-one, and one person is already dead. Have you considered that just you being there might stir them up into doing something they wouldn’t have bothered with otherwise? Has it occurred to you that I’d like to get this done and get home without having to take on the whole damn crew and half of the security men? Kara, believe it or not, this isn’t about you."
She ground her teeth in silence. She really hated it when he was right. This might be about principle for her, but Lee was trying to save both the mission and some lives. He had a way of making her feel very small when he put his mind to it.
"Go," she finally said, her voice as even as she could make it through the fury. She wasn’t mad at him, though. She was mad at herself for not thinking. She was mad at the jerks that had made this whole mission necessary. She was positively furious that she was still annoyed that she shouldn’t go.
He looked at her for a long moment, his face not revealing much, and then he let out a sigh. "Put your shirt on," he said softly. "If we’re going to go, we need to get over there."
"But you just said…"
"Shut up, Starbuck," he told her quietly. "Just get dressed."
She was still reeling as he unlocked the door moments later and escorted her to the one community building that the mining camp boasted. Inside, it looked an awful lot like any other campsite recreation area. The bar consisted of a cooler sitting on a table, and the entertainment consisted of about ten tables in various locations of the relatively large room. Some of the tables were hosting card games, and others were empty. Most of them, however, had two or three men sitting in quiet conversation. She couldn’t help but wonder what the asses would do if she sat down and asked to be dealt in. Lee would no doubt kill her, but the temptation was there.
Lee chose one of the quieter tables, and Kara followed without a word. She had the distinct feeling that she was on borrowed time, and she wasn’t going to make waves. Yet. Kara had learned to pick some of her battles. Most often, the battles seemed to choose her, but every once in a while she had the opportunity to exercise some judgement. It was good for her character, she decided. She still had no clue what had made Lee change his mind, but she was glad. She really didn’t want to have him here by himself. She might be a woman, but she was the only backup he had.
Lee sat down in the last open chair at the table, and Kara decided that the better part of discretion was keeping her mouth shut and her eyes open. As tempted as she was to grab a chair and seat herself next to him, she didn’t think it would go over well. There were only a couple of women in the room, and they were standing against walls rather than sitting with the men. She followed suit and took up residence against the wall next to Lee’s chosen table. She wasn’t being merely observant, though. She was close enough to Lee that she could cover him easily, and the wall at her back was instinctively defensive. She might be only standing, but she had a purpose whether they knew it or not. The men obligingly ignored her. She wasn’t getting used to it, but she had decided to use it to her advantage.
"It’s quite an operation," Lee told the man at the table. "I can’t believe you guys pull so much of that ore out of the ground with no large equipment. It’s very impressive."
"Mostly it’s the miners," the man replied. He was fairly young, Kara thought, at least compared to the mostly forty-something minders that were around the room. He was less weathered looking, too. Maybe less hard. She figured Lee had made a good choice if he was going to look for information. The problem was, everyone knew that was why the two of them were there, so there was nothing covert about it. They were the enemy, and open targets. She had no clue how Lee expected to learn anything.
"So you’re not one of them?" Lee asked.
"I’m with security," he told him with a shrug. Something about his voice was familiar though, and Kara’s mind was racing to place it.
"You with Dooler’s team, or private?"
"I’m with Dooler," the man confirmed. "Name’s Cable. Evan Cable."
Lee shook the man’s hand, and Kara finally placed the voice. It was the man that had spoken to Lee the night before. She hadn’t heard the words, but she had definitely heard that quiet voice.
"Lee Adama," he told him. "And who’s this?"
"Danner," the man replied.
"Miner or security?" Lee asked.
"You can’t tell?"
"You’re big enough to be a miner," Lee remarked with a casual smile. "But you’re entirely too clean."
Danner smiled back. It was not quite as casual, but at least it wasn’t open hostility. Kara counted that as a plus. "So, what are you?" Danner asked him. Kara noted absently that he hadn’t answered Lee’s question.
"Honestly, I’m a pilot," Lee told him sheepishly. "And a Colonial Officer. I guess they use who they have.
"Adama?" Danner asked him thoughtfully. "Like the Fleet Commander?"
Kara tensed. She didn’t like the way this was going. She almost preferred the ignorant miners to the reasonable questions of a guard that might be compromised. She wondered how Lee was going to play this.
"He’s my father," Lee told him with a shrug. "And my Commander. So he pretty much gets to order me around any way you look at it."
Danner and Cable both laughed, and it didn’t seem too forced. Kara let herself relax back against the wall. Her hand strayed briefly to her hip, making sure that her blaster was within easy reach, but then she placed it back behind her. Actually, this was going as well as could be expected. She tried desperately to get rid of the sinking sensation that had settled in the pit of her stomach. Normally it was a reliable indicator of danger, but she didn’t want to face it at the moment.
"The Commander’s son?" Cops said, wandering over with a glass in hand that most definitely wasn’t water. "And you can’t pull any better than this place?"
Lee tried to pull off another careless shrug, but it came off as more of a nervous action. Kara didn’t like the look of the way Cops was standing over him. "I guess I do what I’m told," he said simply. "When it suits me."
Cops laughed at that. The sound sent shivers up and down Kara’s spine. She really didn’t like this guy. "When it suits you," Cops repeated. "Like that lady suits you."
Shit, Kara thought. Lee had been right. God, she hated it when Lee was right. She really shouldn’t be here. Her presence was just giving them an opening at him. Lee might have even managed to get some information out of the security guard if nothing else. She tensed, and mentally went through the motions of pulling and shooting the blaster. She hadn’t had to do it in a while, but she knew that she could. If she was backup, she was going to be ready.
Lee tried the indirect route. "What are you drinking?" he asked Cops.
"Whatever I want," he replied in a voice just shy of a growl. "It’s my camp, my mine, and my drink."
Lee nodded, but didn’t reply.
"I asked you about the woman," Cops tried again.
"I heard you," he said simply. Lee didn’t offer anything else.
Kara saw it coming before Lee did. Cops’ drink hit the floor and he lunged towards Lee. Her instincts kicked in and she put her hand on her side arm, waiting to see how Lee would manage it. As much as she preferred to be in the lead, she would take her cues from him. Lee could hold his own in a fight, but if the odds got out of hand she wanted to be ready.
Unfortunately, Lee never got the chance to fight. Cops had come in from his right, and when Lee went to stand and defend himself his leg folded beneath him. The sick smile on the miner’s face was his undoing. Kara stopped thinking about her training, threw her good sense out the window, and stepped forward on pure adrenaline.
Cops never saw the fist coming. Later, Kara wouldn’t even remember delivering the punch, but the satisfaction that had followed it remained with her for quite some time. She simply stepped forward, pulled her right arm back, and used every bit of the momentum in her body to put her weight behind her fist as it connected with the side of Cops’ face. He never saw it coming, and neither did the men around him.
It was probably that shock that saved her ass. They all stared at their fallen leader, and no one seemed to have a clue what to do with a woman who had just thrown a punch. It was as though a favorite hound had just bit off the master’s hand. But it was enough for Kara. She reached a hand down to Lee, allowing him to grasp her forearm and lever himself to his feet. His letting go the second he could bear his own weight didn’t escape her. Neither did his lack of eye contact. This was not going to be good.
While Cops was still on the floor, flat on his back with his eyes closed and his men standing about stupidly, Lee and Kara made a hasty exit. She didn’t bother trying to talk to Lee then. She knew without a doubt that he was going to have his own say, and she knew she wasn’t going to like it.
Chapter 5
Lee took a deep breath, and then another. And another. He just wanted to make it as far as the unit before he tore Kara’s head off. If he could just make it that far, then at least the fallout would be minimized. If he could just make it that far, he might be able to calm himself enough that he didn’t do her bodily harm. But he didn’t think he was going to make it.
Keeping his eyes averted from hers, he gestured her before him as they walked towards the unit. He ignored the pain in his leg, ignored the embarrassment that was about to make him crazy, and focused on putting one foot in front of the other until they could get behind closed doors.
Against all odds, they made it to the unit uncontested. He had half been expecting the miners to follow them out, or even the security guards for that matter. Luckily, they were still alone. In a moment he would be able to lock the door, and then he would be able to breathe a little bit. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure they weren’t being followed, and let out the smallest breath of relief.
Kara stepped in before him and he followed swiftly while taking slow, measured breaths. He could do this. He could keep himself calm for a few moments longer. If he could take on Cylon Raiders, he could certainly have an intelligent conversation with one of his best friends, best pilots, and his favorite running buddy. If he could keep this in perspective, he might be able to salvage something of the relationship, if not the mission.
"What in hell were you thinking?" he screamed before she could even turn around.
"I…"
"Of all the stupid, thoughtless, irritating, dangerous, completely unnecessary things to do! What if every one of them had turned on you? What if he hadn’t gone down, or if someone else had reached for your gun? How the hell did you expect us to get out of there then?
"But…"
"Don’t you even say a word," he yelled, way beyond even trying to keep himself calm. He’d had it. He was finished with her heroics and suicidal tendencies. He had had enough. "You didn’t stop to think about the mission, or what damage you could be doing to our credibility. You didn’t think about the information I might have been able to get tonight, or how much damage this will do to, to…" He took another deep breath and tried to bring himself together. It didn’t work. "Just don’t even say a word," he repeated, at least bringing his voice down to a dull roar. "I do not want to hear it."
She stood there looking at him. He had to give her credit for nerve, that was for damned sure. She didn’t turn away, and she didn’t back down. That was half of her problem, of course. She didn’t know when to back down. She didn’t know when to let things go. She didn’t know when to let a man handle his own problems. She was always into his business, never caring about what consequences her actions might have.
She could have gotten herself killed, and him along with her. That was what was making him the most insane at the moment. He could have lost her in that room, and he would have had to watch it from the frakking floor knowing — knowing — it was his fault.
"I could almost see you going for your blaster," he muttered under his breath. "But why did you have to hit him?"
"I didn’t think about it," she admitted. Her confession didn’t alleviate his anger one bit.
"No shit!"
"Lee, I…"
"No," he said, turning his back on her and pacing the three feet to the door and turning to pace back again. He almost welcomed the pain in his leg as a distraction. Almost, but not quite. He didn’t even have room to walk of his temper, and he knew very well that going outside their locked door was not an option. "I don’t want an explanation, and I don’t want an apology. I just want you to frakking think for once in your life instead of diving in head first and drowning everyone around you."
"I was supposed to let him kill you?" she asked, her voice rising slightly. His adrenaline surged. She was ready to fight. That was good; he was ready to let her have it.
"You were supposed to use that brain of yours," he corrected bitterly. "I never asked you to come running to my rescue. I can take care of myself."
"You were on the ground," she argued, hands going to her hips. "You couldn’t have reached your blaster even if you wanted to. Do you think he would have left you alone just because you fell?"
"We won’t know now, will we?" he growled. "Damn it, Kara! Some things you just don’t do, and attacking a miner with your bare fists is one of them. Don’t you have any sense at all?"
"I had enough to get us out of there," she muttered.
"You were lucky," he told her. "You’ve always been frakking lucky. You were lucky when my dad found you and gave you a place to live. You were lucky when you slipped into an opening at the academy. You were lucky when you went up against the Cylons, and you were lucky when you got me back to the Galactica. You’re whole life has been based on luck, and one day it’s going to run out. You’d better be damn glad it wasn’t tonight. One of these days you’re going to lose that luck and then what the hell are you going to do?"
She just stood there. Her hands were clenched tightly at her sides, but she wasn’t fighting him. Some of the anger had drained from her face and she was looking both pale and a lot unsure of him. It made him even angrier. Did she think he’d hurt her or something?
A part of his mind realized that he was lashing out because he was embarrassed, and angry, and damn tired of being in pain. Another part really didn’t care. He wanted her to realize how serious this was. She couldn’t get by on luck forever. One day, that luck was going to turn, and she was going to get herself killed. She had skill, yes. He couldn’t deny that she was intelligent and well trained, and she was damned good at using the luck that she’d been born with. But when it ran out no amount of skill would save her.
When he didn’t say any more she sat down on their mats and pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin there. She didn’t argue, didn’t look at him, and didn’t get ready for bed. Fine. Let her sulk. He didn’t give a damn. Maybe she’d finally think about what she’d done. Maybe something he had said would make a dent in her thick skull and stay with her.
Lee jerked off his uniform, wincing as he put too much weight on his right leg and sent a stab of pain through it. Frak. It wasn’t ever going to get better. He was tired of the constant ache, and even more tired of the occasional true pain. He was just sick and tired of all of it.
A glance down at Kara showed that she was still in mid-sulk. At least she wasn’t crying, or some other damn fool female thing. It didn’t surprise him. All the yelling in the world wouldn’t get through to her. He didn’t know why he even bothered, because it never had. She and Zak had certainly had their fair share of yelling matches, and she had never changed that he saw. She was as dense as his father could be at times, so convinced that she was right that she didn’t consider any other options. It was like talking to a wall, or yelling at one.
Lee lowered himself to the mat, losing his battle with his leg and falling the last few inches. Great. Just what he needed. He had over-worked the damaged muscle today, between hiking down into the mine and then putting too much weight there too many times. It didn’t surprise him that it had given out. It just infuriated him that it had done it then.
The hell of it was, Kara had had a point, even if he’d be damned before he’d admit it to her. He couldn’t have reached his blaster. He had gone down on his right side, and the gun had been under him. If Cops had wanted to kill him, that would have been the time, and Lee couldn’t have done much about it. He didn’t have any more business being on this planet than Kara did. She was an invitation to disaster, and he wasn’t able to protect himself, much less protect her. The thought made him vaguely ill.
So she had done the protecting. He had been honest when he told her that the blaster would have been better. Or at the very least, it would have been less humiliating than having her punch him out. Lee couldn’t get up off the ground without help, and she was knocking out grown miners. The entire situation just pissed him off. And the miners would see it as an insult as well. She knew that. She had to know that.
He was tired of her coming to his rescue. The first time hadn’t bothered him very much. Even with her joke that he’d broken his ship, he had been able to chalk up the rescue to her nerve and his bad luck. The second time had been worse. She’d put herself in danger, along with the whole fleet, because he hadn’t been fast enough to make the ship before a Cylon shot him. At the time he’d been too grateful that they were both alive to argue the matter, but even then it had bothered him. Tonight had been the last straw.
There was no way she could still have any respect for him at all. That bothered him nearly as much as the damage done to the mission. How could she even stand to be in the same room a man that not only didn’t win the fight, but wasn’t able to stand up to have it? It was old fashioned, but men were supposed to protect their women. He had done his best to try to claim Kara as his, and he thought she was even going along with it, but he hadn’t been able to protect her. He hadn’t been able to even protect himself.
He glanced sideways to see that Kara was still sitting there with her head on her knees. He probably should say something to her. He probably should at least let her know that the anger wasn’t entirely about her. But he didn’t want to say anything, and a part of him didn’t think he should have to. She’d had this coming for a very long time, both the screaming and the guilt, and he would just let her wallow in it. Maybe this would help her remember it. Maybe she would actually feel bad enough that it would have an impact on her future behavior. He could only hope.
She had always been like this. She was either right or she shut him out. Well, maybe not always. She had certainly been adamant enough when he’d been blaming his father for Zak’s death, but then she had known the truth on a level he had not. For the most part, she was either right or she dropped out of the discussion. Or she ended it with a carefully aimed punch. She had always been a fighter. At the moment, he almost wished she’d take a swing at him so he’d have a reason to hit her. He could never raise a hand against a woman first, but self-defense was another matter, and one good punch would feel damned good right about then.
He remembered a few arguments they’d had during their time at the academy. She had once given him the silent treatment for three days just because he’d jumped on her for missing an exam. She had taken the stupid thing later — and aced it — but he hadn’t been able to get over the irresponsibility of sleeping through the test in the first place. He had bawled her out, she had yelled that it was none of his business, and then she had just shut down. After three days of having a silent roommate, he’d finally apologized. Not for what he said, but for having yelled at her. Unfortunately he had taught her something involuntarily. Silence was more effective as a weapon against him than fists. She had remembered the lesson well. She had eventually let him off the hook, and things had gone back to normal after that, but to this day it galled him that she could dish it out, but she couldn’t take it. And it bothered him even more that she could make him feel so damned guilty when he had a right to be angry.
She had a temper, too. He had seen it at full tilt a few times when Zak had pissed her off, or even before than when she’d been furious with the kids that never seemed to let her forget that she was essentially an orphan. He had almost understood it then — the kids had made him angry, too — but he hadn’t understood her constant desire to pound the sense out of anyone that made her mad. She hadn’t hit Zak of course, at least not that he knew about, but she had screamed loud enough on more than one occasion that he knew far more about their relationship than a brother had the right to.
Oddly, it hadn’t ever seemed to bother Zak. He had just let her yell, and then got her laughing over one thing or another until it was all forgiven. Lee hadn’t known how he had managed it. He would have yelled back at the very least, and he wasn’t a terribly confrontational person. It was one of the reasons that when he went off, he did so mightily and usually to the point of regretting it. He’d had his moments over the years, mostly when Kara had pushed him too far or pushed some button he hadn’t known he had. Oddly, one of the main reasons he’d learned to reign in his temper was to keep from pissing her off. There was a lot of irony in that.
Tonight, the well-learned lessons of the past had gone into the trash. He had yelled, she had shut down, and at some point he was going to have to take the first steps to make it right again. As angry as he was, it had as much to do with his own incapacitation as her interference. He would tell her that eventually, but not tonight.
She had finally lain down, next to but not touching him. He couldn’t blame her for that, even if it did make the room seem awfully cold. She had even left on her uniform and boots, probably because she was too mad to worry about undressing. It really didn’t make any difference. If she wanted to sleep in her clothes, it really wasn’t his business. He didn’t really care if she was comfortable anyway. At least, that’s what he told himself.
It took Lee a long time to get to get to sleep. His mind raced around in circles, going from bitterness to embarrassment to guilt, and then starting all over again. Part of it was simply feeling sorry for himself, even if he didn’t want to recognize or admit it. He was sick of being in pain, tired of having his activities limited and irritated with his life in general. That ticked him off, but then the guilt came because he knew he should be grateful to be alive, whatever the state of that life. So many of his friends and comrades were dead, it just seemed so pitiful to be whining about an injury that was slowing him down but by no means stopping him.
That embarrassed him. Not only had he humiliated himself by falling down on a fight — never mind that falling was probably the only thing that had kept him from getting pounded — but now he was also upset that he had taken his wrath out on Kara. She really had saved his butt. He knew that. He should have been thanking her for putting herself on the line again for him, but instead he was railing her out for acting on instinct. She’d always had the most incredible instincts of anyone he knew, and she had always used them to his benefit. All he had done was yell at her about it. He hadn’t thanked her. He hadn’t been grateful. He had been horrible.
To make matters worse, he had said a hell of a lot of things that he really didn’t mean. Yes, she might have been lucky that his father was the one to pull her out of a bad situation as a child, but it was her tenacity and innate sweetness that had earned her a place in the Adama home. His father had kept her because they had all fallen in love with the spunky girl who had lived a life so horrible that she didn’t even remember most of it. That hadn’t been luck at all; it had been pure Kara.
There had been a little luck in her acceptance to the academy, but more of it had been her own grades and test scores. She’d had the qualifications to go, just as he had, and she hadn’t even been the one to apply for a scholarship available only to orphans. His father had put in that paperwork; she had only accepted the slot. He couldn’t really blame her for that. Anyone would have taken the opening, and once there she had done better than most. She had kept the place because of her skill, dedication, and again that natural instinct that he envied.
It was the same for her rescue of him during the initial Cylon attack. She had saved his life because she cared about him. He thought she might have tried to do it for someone else, but he knew in his heart that for him it had been pure desperation. She couldn’t let his father lose another son. As corny as that sounded, it was the most unselfish thing he’d ever seen, and he admired her for it greatly. God, he hoped she knew that.
And the planetary rescue she had accomplished had been nothing short of a miracle. She had violated laws, implicated people who would have done anything for her, and then risked both her and Sharon’s lives coming back to a Cylon occupied planet to drag him a mile through the freezing cold. How could he not love a woman who would do that for him? She was loyal beyond belief, and for some reason she cared about him, even when he bawled her out for not thinking about it first. It wasn’t as though she did things intending to get into trouble.
Tonight had just been more of the same. She had just been watching his back, as he had really expected her to do. He would have been hurt, or worse, if Cops had gotten a hold of him and he knew it. As much as he hated it, the leg injury had made him a liability to the mission because he couldn’t hold his own with the miners. All she had done was step in and save his ass. Again. And he had yelled at her.
Lee looked to his side, and saw nothing but Kara’s back. She was curled into a ball, as though guarding herself. Guilt hit him hard when he realized that she probably was. He had said some horrible things to her, and hadn’t even let her explain herself or her motives beyond the obvious. He hadn’t discussed with her ways they might salvage the mission, or make arrangements for someone else to take over. Instead of working with what they had, he had blown up and probably hurt her terribly. Because as hard as she tried to hide it, she cared about what he thought of her. That made her more than vulnerable to his attacks. He knew just where to hit her to do the most damage, and at the moment he hated himself for it.
He would have to talk to her. He would have to explain himself in the morning. He wouldn’t wake her up for it; there was no reason. He only hoped that their friendship was strong enough to help her forgive him for screaming first and thinking later. Again. He really thought it would be. After all, she had lost her temper as a matter of course for as long as he’d known her. She would probably do her own fair share of screaming before it was all said and done, but he deserved it.
That was if she was even speaking to him. With Kara, it could go either way. But at the moment, she was as far away from him as if she were on another planet. She was closed off, and rightfully so. He was supposed to be her friend, or possibly more, and yet he had treated her like a cadet that didn’t know any better than to deliberately clobber a walking mountain. He did know that she knew better. He had just been too tied up with temper to notice.
So in the morning he would apologize. With any luck at all, they would kiss and make up, figuratively if not literally. Truthfully, he would prefer the literal as well. He missed having her curled up in his arms, and it wasn’t something he planned to give up without a fight. They had just been moving towards something good, maybe better than good, and he had attacked her for no real reason.
She wasn’t going to make this easy. He was sure of that. But he also knew that despite his accusations she was a reasonable woman, and given enough time she would likely let him back into her good graces. Until then, he would put up with whatever penance that she required. After all, she was worth it. She wasn’t just the best pilot he knew, and one of the most loyal friends he’d ever had, but she was also a decent person. And she was a hell of a kisser.
With that thought foremost in his mind, Lee Adama finally let himself fall asleep.
Chapter 6
Kara lay on the mats in absolute silence for a long time after she was sure Lee was sleeping. It was all she could do to keep herself still when what she wanted to do was take off at top speed and not stop running.
She was a rational human being. She was a good person. She had not meant any harm by what she had done tonight. But not wanting to do harm had very little to do with the real world. It seemed to be the story of her life. She went in with the best of intentions, and invariably things did not work out the way she intended.
She had known he would be angry. Hell, she even thought he had a right to be ticked. She hadn’t thought about the mission or his reputation with the miners when she’d thrown that punch, she had only been thinking that he was about to get hurt and she couldn’t allow it. Why she couldn’t let him fight his own battles was beyond her.
She had also been thinking that the jerk had deserved it. As much as she regretted her actions, the punch had felt damned good. It had been solid, and satisfying, and she had enjoyed the feel of decking the idiot. She couldn’t tell Lee that. She had been too busy trying to get him to forgive her to let him know that she had loved breaking the rules. But if she were honest with herself, she would have loved to land a couple more punches and at least one kick before she’d left Cops lying on the rec room floor. The release then might have made her tension now a little more bearable.
Her mind raced and her body tightened until she absolutely couldn’t stand it a moment longer. A full hour after she had last heard movement from Lee, she eased herself to a sitting position. He didn’t move. It really didn’t surprise her. He’d been awake a lot the night before — mostly looking out for her — and the hike in the mine had been hard on him. If that wasn’t enough to knock him out, the fury he’d expressed when they got back to the sleeping unit had been raw emotion. He was probably completely exhausted.
She was nearly silent as she eased herself to her feet and walked towards the doorway. If she didn’t get out of there, at least for a little while, she was going to fly apart. Her mind was spinning, and her nerves were shot. She had to do something to ease the pressure or she was going to lose it. She had refused to cry in front of Lee tonight. He had a right to be angry, and she wouldn’t insult that by bawling like a baby. But something had to give.
If he’d been a little calmer, she would have loved to have yelled back at him. But the hell of it was that he had been right. She had deserved the yelling, and the accusations, and probably the declaration that her life had been based on luck as well. She had always been damned lucky for no particular reason, and she knew it. She’d never really done anything to deserve the chances she’d received in life. But she had at least done her best with them. Luck might have gotten her foot in the door, but it was her determination that had kept her in the room. Lee knew that too, just as he knew that luck was a sore spot with her. She’d never asked for it; it had just been there.
She slipped silently through the door of the unit. She left it unlocked, thinking he would probably be safe enough for the few minutes she would be away. She was just going to run for a few minutes to get rid of the excess energy that was pulling her apart. If she went full-out, it wouldn’t take her long. This wouldn’t be a casual jog, but a dead-on run. She needed it. The adrenaline that had burst through her earlier had faded to leave her shaky and nervous, and if she could just get a little more into her system she might be able to minimize the crash that she was feeling. She had to do something.
The night wasn’t as dark as it could have been. The moon was large and bright above the small planet, and it reflected light quite brightly. She was able to see where she was going, and the vegetation was fairly sparse on the rocky planet. It was filled with mineral ore rather than water, so there wasn’t much that could grow here. She could see her way on the path worn around the camp, even if she couldn’t see much beyond it.
As she had hoped, the run was just what she needed. As she stretched out her legs and pushed her body to the limit, she felt the tension within her begin to unwind and release. With her nerves soothed, she was able to think about things more reasonably and calmly.
Lee had made a couple of good points, even if she hadn’t liked the way he had made them. She should have used the blaster, most likely for a warning shot, and given him time to regain his feet and manage the situation more diplomatically. As it was, what little credibility they had gained by spending their day hiking through rock had been effectively ruined. The miners had already thought her useless, and now they might see her as dangerous. Either way, they had to have lost their respect for Lee in the process. That much she would accept responsibility for. She didn’t really have any excuse for her actions, beyond what she’d told him. She hadn’t thought first; she had acted.
It was something that had managed to both get her into and out of trouble in the past. Half of the time her actions were interpreted as brave or noble and she’d been rewarded, and the other half of the time it blew up in her face. She never really knew going in just which way it would go. She did know that she wasn’t fond of what had happened tonight. Just a second or two of planning, and she might have done a better job. They might have been able to get some information that would get them off this planet a little sooner. Lee might still be speaking to her rather than screaming at her.
The track of her thoughts began to wind up her nerves again, so she decided to make another circuit of the camp. It wasn’t far — perhaps half a mile or a little more around — and she was moving pretty quickly. She didn’t want to leave Lee alone for much longer, and definitely didn’t want to risk his waking up and finding her gone, but she had needed to do something. Anything. Lords knew what he’d do to her if he knew she’d broken one more of his rules.
She didn’t even have a chance to scream as she felt the arm come around her. Her momentum meeting the well-placed arm effectively knocked the wind out of her, leaving her gasping for breath even as another hand closed over her mouth. She knew right away that she was in trouble, but her feet were off the ground, her mouth was blocked, and her head was too far down to do any damage if she slammed it back. Still, fighting was her first instinct, so it was what she went with. Clawing at the arm didn’t seem to have any effect regardless of her nails, and she couldn’t get her mouth open to bite. She had the passing thought that if she’d just left the blaster on, as she had her boots when she’d tried to sleep, she might have been able to reach it. But she didn’t have it. It was sitting in the corner of the unit, next to Lee’s. Kicking backward seemed her best defense, but even the heavy boots didn’t seem to phase whoever had her. She was well and truly caught.
At first, it didn’t even occur to her to be afraid. She was more angry with herself for being so tied up in her own thoughts that she hadn’t seen a shadow in the darkness and stayed clear. Her second thought was that Lee was going to kill her. She had left their unit unlocked, and done exactly what he’d told her not to do by leaving without his protection. And he was in there alone, without even knowing that the door was open to whoever might want to get to him. Shit. She wasn’t the only one she’d placed in danger. If he had been mad before, it would be nothing to how he would react to this.
It was when her mind got to the "this" that she started to worry. Someone she couldn’t see had her from behind, and another man who was equally large had stepped forward to grab her feet so that she could no longer kick. It was too dark to see who it was, but she had a pretty good idea that if it wasn’t Cops, he would be there soon enough. She twisted her body, even willing to drop the several feet onto hard rock if it meant getting away from them, but wasn’t able to get free.
That was when she started to get scared.
Part of her fear was the unknown, but the rest was that she was oxygen dependent from the run and a large hand was blocking most of her air. She tried to twist her head, but the grip was painfully tight. She was going to have bruises at best. And no more air was coming in. She did her best not to panic. A warrior was useless if they lost their head. Unfortunately they weren’t real useful when they couldn’t breathe, either.
Gradually fear faded to the buzzing in her ears and the darkness that closed in around here. Kara never before had been glad to pass out.
"Now what do you want to do with her?"
A low, gravelly voice was edging in on Kara’s consciousness. She knew that she needed to wake up, take stock, and start planning, but it was so much easier to stay out. It didn’t feel like they’d hurt her while she was out.
"Show her what a lady’s place is," another voice answered. She knew that one. It was Cops. Oh, frak.
She had the good sense to keep her eyes closed for the time being. There was nothing to be gained from giving away the fact that she was alert to her captors by looking over the room, or wherever they had her. First she had to know if she was in one piece.
She had a few aches and pains, but nothing she couldn’t live with. Her hands were tied, and that was a problem, but at the very least they were attached in front of her rather than in back. If she got out, that would go a long way towards balance or possibly defense. She could work with that. She might even manage a little offense if she got the opportunity.
Her feet were another matter. They too were tied together, which pretty much eliminated the idea of taking off before anyone noticed she was awake. There was no give in the restraints, either, as there would be with shackles or handcuffs. She was tied wrist to wrist, ankle to ankle. Her boots were gone, as well as her socks. Cold feet seemed to be a trivial thing to worry about but it annoyed her just the same. With the rocky surface, even if she got free she’d be sliced up pretty good before she could get anywhere. Not that she wouldn’t cut up her feet to get out, but it was something to be aware of.
Her head hurt. It was a light buzzing throb, probably a left over from passing out. She wasn’t sure. She’d never fainted before. She might have been embarrassed about it if she had the time, but there were more pressing things to deal with. She couldn’t move her mouth. She wasn’t gagged, but her lips were sealed motionless, probably with tape. That took out biting as well. She couldn’t punch, couldn’t kick, and couldn’t bite.
She was having some difficulty finding anything redeemable in the situation at all, and decided that things could only get so much worse if she opened her eyes. Quietly. A little.
Okay, she finally knew where she was. That could be good. She was definitely in the mine, with its heavy equipment and stone walls. That also explained the pain on the right side of her pelvis and her arm; she was lying on lumpy stone. She made a minute shift of her weight towards her back to relieve the pressure of rock off bone, but the relief didn’t last long. She was on the ground, looking up at men that were quite tall enough when she was standing and were frankly intimidating from this location. It kept getting better and better.
Keeping her eyes at a squint, she carefully turned her head to survey the area. Nothing much there to help her. The only thing really in her favor was that she — in theory — could use her arms to lever herself up to her feet. That would go well. Hop like a bunny to get out of there. She didn’t figure they’d tolerate that. But hands in front could be good if she found something to conceal as a weapon. The ground around her was littered with discarded ore and miscellaneous rocks, and she’d bet there were tools nearby as well. It was a workable situation, if not an ideal one. She hoped. She prayed.
The men were engaged in a low conversation and had moved away from her. She counted four of them, which was bad. But they weren’t within smelling distance, which was good. She had to stay optimistic or she’d freeze up. This wasn’t the first crisis situation she’d ever been in, even if it did look like the worst. Even against Cylons she’d had weaponry on her side. Now all she really had was a desire to survive and a natural creativity that had served her well in the past. And luck. As Lee had reminded her earlier, she had very good luck.
Good thoughts. She needed something good to get her out of here, even if just for a few seconds. It was a trick she’d used to center herself when waiting for a launch or otherwise dealing with an interminable situation. She chose a good thought — any good thought — and she stayed there just until she could get her bearings and her perspective back.
Good thoughts. For years, those had been of Zak. She had thought of the rare days when they managed to get away from the academy and either run through the gardens behind the school or take off on a gentle hike into the nearby foothills. Sometimes she remembered back to family picnics that his mother insisted on when the eldest Adama was home on rare occasion. They had been a lot of fun, even for all the griping that she and the boys did about them. One time Zak had spoon-fed her an entire dessert, cramming it in every time she tried to tell him to stop. She didn’t remember what had instigated it, but she remembered the laughter and trying so desperately not to choke while she laughed.
But memories of Zak had become faded and fuzzy in the nearly four years since she had lost him. Adama told her it was normal, even expected, and she shouldn’t feel guilty. She didn’t, exactly, but she did miss the sound of his voice and the constant laughter that he both supplied and managed to weasel out of her. She couldn’t remember what his arms had felt like on the rare occasions she had cuddled with him. She couldn’t remember the last words she had said to him, aside from the desperate commands she had tried to give over the wireless when she had seen that he was going to miss the landing bay.
Good thoughts. She needed something good to get her out of here, and she couldn’t find it at the moment in her memories of Zak. There had been a lot of good, but it was too long past, and too far removed from her current reality. She needed something now.
Unbidden, the thought of warm arms and a solid body behind her slipped into her mind. It was ironic that she had never been one to snuggle with Zak, and yet she couldn’t seem to get close enough to Lee. Especially at night. There was something comforting about having him so close that she could feel him head to toe — a certainty that she could not be hurt, and was not alone.
She supposed it was a need that the war had created in her. She had lost everyone she cared about, save a few individuals. While the majority of her friendships had always been casual — you couldn’t get hurt if people weren’t too close — they had still been important to her. After the war she hadn’t had anyone to fall back on when she needed to talk, or anyone she knew really well aside from the Adamas, Sharon, and a couple of the bridge personnel. Her squadron had been taken out in the first wave of attacks. Most of her friends had been there, and if she hadn’t been stuck in the brig she would have been flying with them. Come to think of it, Lee would have been gone, too if Tyrol and his gang hadn’t refitted the old Viper that Lee had piloted for the ceremony. It was the only reason she still had him.
So she grabbed that one thought — the thought that Lee was still with her — and clung to the memory of falling asleep in his arms after the awards ceremony. It had been private and special, and long before any miscellaneous romantic thoughts had trickled into her mind to complicate the situation. It had been pure comfort, undemanding and gentle and perfect. It was something she could hang on to, and something to give her hope and strength. She might not know where their relationship stood at this moment, but for that brief time they had been perfectly in sync. It was what she needed.
Any panic that had eased into her mind faded behind the wall of peace she built for herself. One way or the other, this wouldn’t last forever, and either way it went she would always have the memory of Lee’s arms in room’s soft light because neither of them would let go long enough to turn them off. She had been so warm then, and that memory served to ease the chill from her now, so that she could stop her shivering and think of some way to get out of this.
"Looks like the girl’s awake," one of the men said. She had no clue who he was. At the moment, she didn’t care. They all bowed to Cops, so that was where she focused her attention.
"Good," he said, calling her attention to the one man that worried her. "Then we can go ahead and show her what women is for around here."
He walked over towards her and knelt down with one hand on either of her shoulders, shoving her onto her back and pressing them painfully into rock. Oh yes, she was going to bruise. She might have spit in his face if she could have managed it.
"Had to help you with the first lesson, ‘cause you ain’t so bright. Women is silent around here. No dumb questions, and no pretendin’ that you know what the hell is going on. You’re just meat for the men. If we want you to carry, you carry. If we want you to go, then you go. You listening?"
Warm arms. Soft whispers. A gentle hug. He couldn’t touch her where she was now. Lee was right there with her, in spirit if not in body, and she wouldn’t let go. The pain in her right cheek was a shock to the world she’d created.
Cops pulled his hand back from where he’d struck her in the face. "Too good to talk now, huh woman? Got nothing to say when there isn’t a man to protect you?"
That would have been absurd if he’d been paying any attention at all. What was she supposed to say with her mouth taped tight? What would she have to say to him anyway? He wasn’t reasonable enough that she could talk her way out of this. She didn’t think he’d care about prison or even death, so long as he got his way. She wasn’t the type for an apology or begging or pleading even if she thought it would do any good. She decided that she was better off to ignore what he did and hope that he saw weakness as a reason not to press further. It wasn’t much, but it was the only control she could exert over the situation. She couldn’t control him, but she could keep control over herself.
If she could just get him to lower his guard, just for a moment, then maybe she could use her arms to get free, or hit him, or something. It grated on her nerves to just lay here and let him beat the crap out of her. That was what she really expected, especially judging from the size of the bruise on the side of his face. He would probably want to return the favor. She wasn’t looking forward to it.
His next words told her that she wasn’t that lucky.
"We keep the ladies around for two reasons," he explained as if giving a lecture. That was a humorous thought too; him giving a lecture was about as likely as his hosting a dance. "They’s for work, and they’s for play. You ain’t big enough to work, so I guess you’s for playin’."
Kara took as deep a breath as she could with her mouth sealed, and nearly gagged at the breath in her face. Not a good idea. Throwing up with tape over her mouth could get her into a world of hurt. Not that she wasn’t already there, but there was no call to make things worse. Somehow she didn’t think this man would care if he choked so long as he proved his point.
"You think you’re so much better than the rest," he mumbled as he ran a dirty, rough hand down the side of her face. "But you wouldn’t last like our women. Ain’t got no meat to ya," he complained. "But I guess I’ll make due."
Eyes closed tight, she focused on Lee. He had the warmest chest of anyone she’d ever known — not that she’d been around a lot of chests, but it was something she had always admired. He put out a level of heat that was damn comfortable in the chill of the Galactica. He wasn’t stingy with it, either. He had gotten a lot more physical since the war had started. She guessed that he had the same need for physical reassurance that she did, but part of it might just be resolution with his father over their disagreements. Zak had been tactile to the point of being grabby on occasion, and she always had felt as though she needed to pull away to protect her space. Lee just opened his arms and waited, knowing she’d be there on her own if she was given half a chance. His warmth was magnetic, both physically and mentally, and it never demanded anything of her beyond the return of basic human contact. It was easy enough to give that to him.
Most evenings she had snuggled back into his lap and let him hold her, often taking hold of his arms to be sure he stayed close. It wasn’t like her at all. But other nights she’d turn over in her sleep and wind up practically on top of him. She wasn’t light. Muscle was heavy, and for a woman she had a lot of it. But he never complained when she wrapped herself around him to push away the last remnants of a nightmare, or just to get a little closer to try to give him some of the comfort that she so willing took from him.
Her attention was yanked unceremoniously back to the moment as her arms were jerked up over her head by one of the men, and Cops moved to straddle her body. Focusing somewhere else was a wonderful defense mechanism, but it couldn’t eliminate physical sensation. He was heavy — very heavy — and she could only ignore so much.
She didn’t open her eyes, though. She wouldn’t give him that. She was way beyond scared now, and she knew he would be able to see it. She couldn’t control the shivering in her body, but she could try to minimize what he saw. Fear would be a weakness to a Neanderthal like him, and she wanted to at least deprive him of an additional reason to hurt her.
The top of her uniform came apart easily, buttons and material ripping apart under his strong tug. She knew that wouldn’t get him much, though. She had both undershirts and bra beneath the uniform.
"Get the knife," he growled, and she swallowed heavily. His hand was already kneading her roughly through the material. The very real possibility that she would not be able to get away from this began to settle in the pit of her stomach.
Only the desperate knowledge that vomiting could be fatal kept her from puking all over herself. She had to get through this. Some way, she had to. If she didn’t, Lee would go nuts, probably get himself killed, and Adama would have no one. She had to keep herself together, whatever happened. She wasn’t sure how she’d accomplish it, but it wasn’t as though she had a choice.
And what was happening wasn’t good. She felt the point of the knife at her neck, scraping as it slipped beneath shirts and bra, and then the tug as it descended down her body. The tip caught as the texture of the material changed at mid-chest and then again as he reached her waist and the belt of her uniform.
He had moved to the side now, one of his men coming up beside him to grab one leg as he cut the rope or tape or whatever was holding her feet together. "Hold that leg," Cops muttered. "Pull it over some so I can get where I want to be. That’s better." Any hope of kicking him where it might do some good was quickly eliminated as one man sat heavily on her lower leg and Cops moved to the other. She felt the knife dig in again as it cut through the waistband of her uniform and down the right leg as well. His partner shifted, and the other leg got the same treatment, including the occasional nicks from the knife as it’s tip bounced on her skin as he did away with the uniform. The knife came back twice more, each time to her chest, and he sliced through the length of uniform from chest to wrist, revealing her arms as well.
Eyes closed or not, she knew that she was naked. The icy cold of the cave would have told her, even if she hadn’t felt his rough hand start at her chest and begin a path down her body.
Oh God, oh God, oh God, she thought desperately. She wasn’t going to be able to get away from this. Reality began to edge its way through the shock, and she realized that rape was more than a possibility; it was a certainty.
The only good thing she could see in the situation was that it was unlikely would ever make another impulsive, stupid decision.
Chapter 7
Lee awoke with a start, taking just a moment to orient to where he was. The unit was still dark, so it wasn’t morning just yet. He stretched out the stiffness of sleeping on the ground, and the twinge in his right thigh brought back the events of the previous evening.
He needed to apologize to Kara. Turning on his side, he reached towards her and found only empty mat. That brought him fully awake as nothing else could have. He grabbed his hand-held lamp and flipped it on, but she wasn’t in the unit. Her bag was still in the corner next to his, and her weapon was sitting on top of it, so it wasn’t likely that she had gone back to the Raptor to camp out away from him.
Ice seemed to form in his stomach as he realized the truth. She wasn’t here. She didn’t have her weapon. A quick glance at the door confirmed that it was unlocked. Either she had been taken awfully quietly, or he was going to have to bawl her out again instead of making his intended apology.
It took him only a few moments to pull on a uniform over his underclothes and shove his feet into his boots. He wrapped the strings around his ankles rather than taking time to complete lacing them, and tied a quick knot. Every second caused the fear inside him to double, and it was getting to an unbearable level. When he got his hands on her he was going to do more than give a verbal reprimand. This was going on report, whatever trouble it would get her into.
He stepped out into the darkness of the night. Cloud cover had come in and blocked out the natural light the nights here could provide. With no artificial light sources, he relied on his hand lamp to make a quick sweep of the area around him and then began to jog towards the latrine. His leg was painful, but he ignored it. He figured it was the most likely place for her to be. Leaving her weapon behind was still puzzling him, but that had to be where she had gone.
He checked both of the stalls, first calling her name and then opening the doors to confirm that she wasn’t there. Panic began to creep into him, but he kept it at bay with action. He had to find her, and damn the consequences. He jogged to the area where they’d landed the Raptor. It was locked up tight, but he had it opened and checked in only minutes. She wasn’t there.
"Kara?" he called out loudly. It wasn’t likely that she’d gotten lost, but he supposed it was possible. He went back into a jog, this time towards the gathering area they’d been in the evening before. Maybe she had gone back to try and mend fences. "Kara?" he screamed again on his way in the door. Nothing. No reply came in response to his call.
And so he began his search. From unit to unit he went, calling her name, his voice rising with each repetition. At some point worry turned into pure terror. She wasn’t answering him. That could only mean that she was either too far away to hear him, or someone was preventing her from responding. He didn’t care for either option.
The first couple of units were empty, or at least their occupants didn’t reply to his banging on the doors and calling out her name. The third unit opened after only a moment of shaking the door and revealed Dooler standing there rubbing his eyes with one hand and covering his weapon with the other. "What the hell’s going on?"
"Lieutenant Thrace is missing," he replied without preamble. "Get your team together."
"She probably went to the latrine," he muttered, starting to close the door.
Lee didn’t let him. "I’ve checked there, the common building, and the Raptor. I’ve been yelling for ten minutes. If she could answer me, she would."
Across the narrow walkway between units, another door opened. Cable stuck his head out with the same confusion that Dooler had initially shown and considerably more interest. "What’s wrong?" he asked.
"She’s gone," he told the man simply. Their previous discussion would supply who he was talking about. "Where would they take her?"
"Who would take her?" Dooler asked, honestly seeming puzzled, but Lee’s attention was on Cable.
"The mine," he said simply. "It’s where we found Caya and the men."
"You’re crazy," Dooler countered, but he had a look that was almost like fear in his eyes. "Nobody’d take a Colonial. Even Cops’ crew isn’t that stupid."
"Give me thirty seconds," Cable requested, and then ducked back into his unit.
Lee found himself standing there feeling more than a little impatient. Dooler still wasn’t cooperating. "I’m going to say this once," Lee said in his most diplomatic voice. "If anything happens to her, I swear I’ll get in that Raptor and drop a flare into your frakking mine on my way back to the Galactica. You can either help me, or you can plan to fry on this rock very soon."
Dooler gave a grumble, but ducked back inside for his boots and a second weapon, this one larger and more powerful looking than the one at his side. "Cable, wake up Conly and Daves. I’m not going down in that mine without some firepower."
Cable was just returning, fully dressed and carrying a weapon as large as Dooler’s. Lee didn’t know whether to be pleased or more frightened by the way they were taking this. He was getting help, yes, but the mere fact that they were willing to go told him how much danger Kara might be in. One woman had already been murdered, and two men nearly that. Kara didn’t stand a chance if they didn’t move quickly. A glance at his watch had told him that he’d slept only a couple of hours, but that didn’t tell him how long Kara had been gone. A hell of a lot could happen in two hours.
The few minutes it took to wake the grumbling remainder of the security force seemed more like hours. Lee had a hard time staying calm, and couldn’t keep himself from looking around frantically, half expecting her to walk out from between some rocks with a big smile and the joke on him. He knew in his heart it wouldn’t happen, but God how he wanted it to.
Finally their team began the hike to the mine. Lee wound up in back of the group due to his leg, but he didn’t consider that entirely bad. His weapon was the least powerful of those in the group. It hadn’t occurred to him to grab something more substantial when he’d been at the Raptor. He’d been too busy looking for and not finding Kara.
In the mine shaft, his lamp didn’t provide much in the way of illumination. He tried not to notice. He kept his ears open and his gun out, praying that he’d hear something to reassure him. As they got lower down into the rock, he finally heard something, but reassuring was not what it was.
"Hold that leg," a voice muttered furiously. "Pull it over some so I can get where I want to be. That’s better."
There were sounds of struggling, and then the sound of flesh striking flesh. "Lay still you bitch," the voice growled. "I’d hate to have to kill you before I teach you a lesson."
Lee’s breath caught in his chest as he realized what must be happening. His view was blocked by the men in front of him in the narrow corridor, but he didn’t need to see it. The words and the voice told him more than he wanted to know. He tried to edge past the guard immediately in front of him, but got elbowed back for his trouble. He had to get up there. He had to do something.
"Playtime’s over, boys," Dooler said loudly as they entered a more open area of the mine. Lee could finally see around the men, and his heart froze. He couldn’t see Kara for the man on top of her, but he could see the knife in the man’s hand, and the blood on it, even in the dim light of the cavern.
"Get out," one of Cops’ men told them. "You ain’t welcome at this party."
"No party tonight," Dooler said simply. "Let her go. You take out a Colonial Warrior and we’re all done. It’s not going to happen. Let her up." His weapon was pointed directly at Cops to make his point.
The big man twisted around, but didn’t get off Kara. He swiped sweat from his brow, and Lee caught the dark shine of blood left behind. He had blood on his hands, and now on his face. "Go ahead and shoot," Cops growled. "Just be sure you don’t miss. Send any fire into this mine and we’re all blowing sky-high."
He had a point, but Dooler just shook his head. "Let her up," he repeated, leveling his weapon on the man and pulling something back on the side of it. "This is your last chance."
Lee, the diplomat, knew that ultimatums were rarely good, but he couldn’t get a word out past the tightness of his throat. Cops had a knife in his hand and Kara’s blood on him, and she was ominously still beneath him. He couldn’t have uttered a word if his life had depended on it. Or if Kara’s had.
And Cops wasn’t moving. He had a lurid smile on his face as he shook his head. "Tell ya what," he offered. "You take a walk, and I’ll be sure you get a turn. She’s tough enough to last a while."
Lee didn’t have time to react before Dooler’s blaster went off and struck Cops full in the chest. He stayed almost comically suspended for just a moment, and then fell forward onto Kara. She still wasn’t moving.
Lee moved to step towards her, damn the consequences, when Cable put an arm out to block him. It took Lee a moment to understand why. The other three men hadn’t backed down when their leader fell, but were instead advancing towards them. They didn’t have weapons, but he didn’t think they’d need them to tear the guards apart — and him, for that matter.
Dooler and the man to his right fired simultaneously. Two of the miners, hit in the chest just as Cops had been, crumpled directly to the floor. The third man, who Lee now recognized as Danner — the man at Cable’s table when Lee had spoken with him — put his hands up in the air and stopped.
"I’m not armed," Danner said simply. "And I didn’t touch the woman."
Cable stepped forward to check that out for himself, snarling, "You didn’t do a damn thing to stop it, either."
Lee had heard enough. The miners were out of the way, and he needed to see to Kara. He prayed quickly as he approached her, terrified of what he might find.
The first thing he saw was that her eyes were wide open and terrified. He didn’t blame her. Lee grabbed the large body of Cops and did his best to move it off her. After a moment, Dooler came over to help him. The man was dead weight, literally, and Lee didn’t have the leverage he needed to get Kara free.
Once he did, he almost wished he hadn’t. Her hands were taped together, still over her head as though she was too afraid to move to bring them down. Her uniform was in shreds, exposing most of her body from neck to ankle. Her face had blood smeared on it in various locations, and her body was bleeding in several places. There was a piece of tape over her mouth — the thick kind used for electrical work — which explained why she had been silent.
Even as Lee reached for her he saw the terror flash in her eyes. "Oh, God," he whispered fervently. A piece of clothing appeared to his right, and he looked up to see Cable handing him his work shirt. The other guards were in the process of removing both bodies and their prisoner from the cave. He didn’t bother with thanks, but instead spread the shirt over Kara to block the majority of her body from any curious eyes. All he cared about was the woman before him.
"Kara, I have to get this tape off," he told her with his voice just over a whisper. It wasn’t out of any gentleness or care that he was so quiet, but because it was all the sound he could get out through the tightness in his chest. He had no clue how badly she was hurt, but it was definitely bad enough. "Kara?" he called again, a little more clearly. She wasn’t looking at him. Her eyes were dodging back and forth in clear panic, and she was starting to struggle. "Kara, eyes on me!" he finally got out in a clear voice. He placed one hand on either side of her bloody face and held her still even as her body continued to strain against it’s bonds.
It took several seconds of her panic before she did as he said and focused her attention on his face. He just looked at her a moment, drinking in the sight of terrified eyes calming and finally closing in obvious relief.
"I need to get the tape off," he told her again, speech coming more easily now. "Are you with me? Do you understand?"
She gave a minute nod that he took for assent, and then he gently began to peel the tape away. The adhesive was a tight stick, but he went slowly so as not to take any skin with the tape. When he finally had it off, he put his right hand back on her cheek, opposite the location that his left had never moved from. "Look at me, Kara," he asked softly. "Please, open your eyes and look at me."
After another couple of seconds she did so, her eyes focused clearly and the fear finally easing a little, but not completely. He almost could feel the relief wash through him at the small victory.
"Where are you hurting?" he asked her gently.
She shook her head, but didn’t speak.
"I don’t want to move you if you’re hurt," he explained. "But I want to get you out of here. Are you hurting?"
Her lips moved, but no sound came out. She licked lips that had to be sore before trying again. "I’m okay," she whispered.
"Not by a long shot," he corrected. "Where are you hurting?’
Her eyes closed again, and he was afraid she was going to shut him out. After a moment though she began to speak. "My shoulders," she admitted. "And a few places on my chest sting. I can’t feel much, really."
"How’s your head?" he asked as he moved his fingers from her cheeks to her neck, reaching behind to gently probe. He didn’t withdraw even when she tried to pull away from him. "Your neck? Your back? Can you feel everything, wiggle fingers and toes?"
She spent longer than he could have imagined processing his questions. It was as though she were only hearing about half of what he said, or as though he were speaking another language. She just didn’t seem to be able to focus. He watched as her fingers wiggled despite her taped wrist, and looked down to see her doing the same with her toes. "My back’s a little sore," she admitted. "But not my spine. I think I’m okay."
"I need to get you back to the Raptor, he told her gently. "We have to get you up to a doctor."
"No!" she said urgently. Then, more calmly, "Please, no. Just help me get back to the unit. I just… I’m okay. I’ll be okay."
"You need a doctor," he corrected, noting the few locations where blood had already soaked through the shirt he’d thrown over her.
"No," she said again. "Please, Lee. I don’t want anyone touching me right now. I don’t want… I can’t…." Her voice trailed off as she closed her eyes and turned her face away from him. He didn’t know what to do.
"If I lift her up, can you carry her?" Cable asked him. He hadn’t been aware that the guard was still around. The others had left, dragging as they went. Lee hadn’t really missed them.
Lee didn’t know how his leg would hold up, but he knew he had to try. "Kara?" he asked. He waited until her eyes opened before he continued. "This is Cable," he told her softly. "He’s going to help me get you back to the unit. I can’t do it by myself."
She just shook her head. He might have tried to ignore that, but the look in her eyes was back to pure fear.
"Kara, I’m right here," he told her very gently, leaning down to rest his forehead against hers. "I won’t let anything happen to you. I’ll be right with you the whole way."
Her eyes squeezed shut again, and she shook her head. "I can walk," she told him. "Just get this tape off."
"I’ll be okay," he told her. "You don’t have to walk."
"Let me cut her arms free, first," Cable suggested.
Lee had forgotten that her arms were still restrained by the tape, because she had lowered her arms as soon as Cops was off her, and her wrists were beneath the shirt. "Can it wait until we get her back to the unit?" he asked, not wanting to uncover her in front of the guard.
Cable was quiet a moment, then nodded. In retrospect, it was probably better anyway. She was just disoriented enough to try to fight, and this way Cable was less likely to get hurt.
Lee watched helplessly as Cable bent down and tried to take Kara into his arms. She wasn’t having any of it. She brought her arms up like a club, knocking the shirt aside and nearly toppling Lee in her panic. How she managed to move her body so quickly while bound he had no clue, but somehow she wiggled and kicked her way back against the wall behind her. Her hands were back above her head, the shirt left behind on the ground, and her eyes showing clear panic, He knew she’d scraped the shit out of herself on the rocks with her movements.
Cable took a step back, his hands up as though to show he wasn’t going to touch her. Her eyes were flashing from side to side, and any calm that had been there before was gone. So much for getting her to trust him. He wondered how much damage he’d done with that single misjudgment.
Lee took a deep breath and tried to remember what he had learned in the crisis courses he’d had to take before he’d begun teaching. The only thing he could really remember was that listening to the victim was always preferable to fighting with them. So Lee shook his head at Cable, and went back to trying to calm Kara.
"Kara?" he called quietly once she had stopped swinging her arms. He didn’t get any closer then where she had knocked him back to. He just remained balanced, kneeling down on his good leg, and gave her the only thing he could: time. Again there was a long moment before her eyes opened, but they were faced towards him and her glance unwavering. "I’m right here," he reminded her, holding out a hand to her but not going so far as to touch her. "I’m not going anywhere."
It was a long moment before she reached out and grabbed the hand he’d extended with her own two, still tightly bound. Cable passed him a knife, and it took Lee a moment to even figure out what it was for. Finally getting the drift, he reached forward and slid the knife carefully beneath the tape and managed to cut through it so that he could get enough of a grip to peel it away from her wrists. As soon as her arms were free, she placed one on either side of her and pushed herself up to a sitting position at the wall.
The next thing Cable handed him was the bloody shirt. In his concern, Lee had kept his eyes on Kara’s, and hadn’t even realized that her attempted flight had removed what little had remained of her uniform and had dislodged the borrowed shirt. He didn’t think she realized it either, because as he extended the shirt to her he saw another instant of panic in her eyes. Lee kept his voice as calm and even as possible. "If you’re going to walk, you need to put on the shirt, Kara."
Once more, there was a wait before she could process what he’d said. She finally looked at the shirt he was holding out, then blushed as she clutched at it. He wanted so much to help her, but he didn’t dare reach for her again as she struggled to get the oversized shirt into place. When she was dressed, however scantily, he finally gave her a forced smile.
"Ready, Kara?" he asked softly. "I want to get you back where it’s warm."
She gave a nod, and then finally reached out and took the hand he’d extended with one of hers. He tried very hard not to take it personally when she yanked her hand out of his just as soon as she was on her feet, her body pressed back into the cave wall behind her as though she needed it to hold her up. Lee could see her shaking from where he was standing about a yard away. He offered her his hand again, but she didn’t take it. Wrapping her arms around herself, she took a cautious step, and then another. Cable moved out of her way, subtly leading her towards the exit from the cave. Lee followed just behind her, not bothering to pick up the shredded uniform that was on the ground. She wouldn’t be needing it.
The walk back was slow and tedious. Kara had no shoes, so her steps were careful and cautious. Lee managed to move up close enough so that if she needed him he was no more than an arm’s length away, but she never even acknowledged him. He still couldn’t believe that she was upright. Her shaking was visible even from a distance, and she paused every few steps to steady herself.
Once back at the unit, Cable opened the unlocked door and then backed away to allow her to enter. She did so without even looking at the large man, much less speaking.
"Do you have a medical kit?" Cable asked as Lee moved to follow Kara into the unit.
"Yes," Lee answered. Then, taking his eyes from Kara for the first time, he looked Cable in the eye. "Thank you."
Cable nodded, and then closed the door before leaving them alone.
Lee stood just inside the unit and didn’t move at all for a moment, just letting the adrenaline rush ease and battling the exhaustion that inevitably would follow. Kara had lain down on their mats, curled onto one side with her body taking on the fetal position, her knees tucked up into the shirt, probably for warmth. It reminded him of the way she’d been lying when he’d gone to sleep, and guilt settled heavily in his stomach. But guilt wouldn’t get a thing done for her, and she had to be his priority.
He walked over to his bag to reach in and grab one of the mandatory first aid kits that they all carried. Kara had one down in her bag too, and he would probably need that one as well. She was a mess. He would do this for her, but he was withholding judgement on whether he would take her back to the Galactica. If he saw anything that really worried him, he wouldn’t have a choice.
When he touched her shoulder to get her attention, she flinched away from him. He’d half expected that. On an impulse, he reached over and grabbed one of the blankets to toss it over her. She had to be cold. "Kara, I need you to turn over," he told her. "You’re bleeding, and I need to find out how much and from where."
It took a moment for her to respond, but he gave her the time. She winced as she rolled onto her back, extending her legs beneath the blanket, and he realized he’d need to get a look at that as well. Blood was soaked through the shirt in a dozen different places, but it didn’t look like a lot. It was hard to tell with the shirt on, and he hated to ask her to take it off.
"Can you sit up?"
She nodded, and let him help her into a sitting position by taking his offered arm and doing rest of the work herself. She tucked her feet beneath her so that the shirt covered most of her body and the blanket covered the rest.
He hated what he had to tell her next. "Kara, the shirt will have to come off. Do you want me to cut it, or can you get it?"
Kara squeezed her eyes shut again, her face going beet red.
It was a measure of how out-of-it she was that she didn’t bother to argue. She sat silently for a moment, then pulled her arms inside the shirt and lifted it over her head with a muffled gasp. Lee moved behind her as she held the shirt up against her breasts with shaking arms. She appeared to have forgotten about the blanket, and he wasn’t going to bother with reminding her.
"I’ve got to clean this up, or it’ll get infected," he told her. "It may hurt a little. Okay?"
He waited a long moment before she nodded, but she didn’t speak.
Her back was black and blue with scratches all over it, most likely from the rocks. He reached for one of the sanitizing wipes in the kit and ran it gingerly over the abraded skin, apologizing when she gritted her teeth and hissed in a breath. Salik had the best products available to prevent infection, but he hadn’t bothered to add an anesthetic to them. When her back and shoulders were clean, he turned his attention to her front.
Kara had closed her eyes again, and was holding the shirt so tightly that her knuckles were white. Lee took the opportunity to run another of the wipes over her face, flinching himself as she jerked back from him. Her left cheek was bruised, and she would likely have quite a shiner, but there were no cuts or scratches. The blood there had come from somewhere else.
He moved down to her neck, and found a couple of gouges that had to be cleaned and bandaged. They didn’t look deep, but they would be sore if they weren’t treated. He added some of Salik’s ointment to those before using small bandages to cover them. Then he looked down at her covered chest.
"Kara, do you want to do this, or do you want me to?" he asked soflty. Her eyes opened and she focused on him, but she was a long time in answering. He wondered absently just how long it would take for her brain to unfreeze, and what kind of shape she would be in when it did.
He couldn’t deny that he had dreamed about her shirtless many times in the past, but tonight had nothing to do with romantic fantasies. When Kara finally reached for the wipe he was holding, he had to force himself to look at her while she released her grip on the shirt and ran the wipe over her neck, upper chest, and stomach. He wanted to give her some privacy, but he needed to know how badly she was hurt.
Thankfully she didn’t seem to be paying any attention to him. She cleaned herself methodically, her cheeks only a little pink as she did so. He watched as closely as he could without getting into her space, and passed her clean wipes as the ones she used became covered with dirt and blood. At the very least he could see where the bleeding had originated now. There were several shallow cuts down the center of her chest, and one that looked rather deep near her navel.
It took a couple more wipes to get the rest of her chest clean. He had to grit his teeth against the fury that rose in him as he saw the bruising on both breasts. She was going to be really sore. Down on her stomach he saw a couple more nicks, but only the one was serious enough to need bandaging. He passed her a small adhesive bandage, pointing to the area that was still bleeding when she gave him a blank look. Almost absently, she applied it. As she finished with her upper half, he reached into her bag and tugged out a clean undershirt. When he offered the garment and she wouldn’t take it, he dressed her gently, and for once she didn’t seem inclined to pull away. As he did so, he checked over her arms, noting that they carried finger-shaped bruises, but otherwise were okay.
"Kara?"
"Hmm?"
"We’re half-done," he admitted gravely. "I need to get a look at your legs, too."
She didn’t even resist, but unfolded her legs from beneath her so that he could get to them. He thought about letting her do it, but her eyes had closed again and her arms were wrapped tightly around her body as though she were trying to hold herself together physically. He didn’t think she had it in her. Cautiously he reached for the blanket that still covered her"
"Kara?"
"What?" she asked after a pause, even opening her eyes to look at him, clearly wanting to get this over with as little discussion as possible.
"Did he… I need to know if I need to check…"
"No," she whispered. "He didn’t get that far before you got there." She took a gulping breath. "He would have," she said as her eyes closed, effectively cutting him off from her. "He told me what he was going to do, but he didn’t get the chance."
"Thank the Lords for that," he told her with heartfelt emotion. He moved the blanket then, finding the same nicks on her legs as he had found on other parts of her body, results of a quick and careless pass of the knife. Her legs were at least cleaner than her back had been, needing only a quick pass with the antiseptic wipe to get them clean, and a couple of small bandages and ointment for the cuts. "Turn over on your stomach," he asked her softly.
She did so, but winced in the process. Given the shape of the front of her body he didn’t blame her, but he needed to check her lower back and buttocks to be sure there weren’t any serious injuries there. He did his best to keep the blanket over anything he wasn’t actually looking at, grateful that she wasn’t fighting him over the necessity of checking her body. Thankfully there weren’t any more cuts, but simply more bruising and scrapes from where she had been ground into sharp rocks. He wiped her off as impersonally as he could, and then grabbed the underwear he’d dug out when he had found her shirts. When her eyes opened he showed them to her. She didn’t argue when he helped her slip them on, and he considered that to be a good sign.
"Do you want a uniform on?" he asked her softly.
She didn’t answer, but she did shake her head and reach for one of the pillows.
He reached over and grabbed a couple more blankets as she lay down, covering her carefully and tucking her in. "Better?"
She nodded, again keeping her silence.
He sat next to her for a long while, letting her rest if not sleep. He needed to make some decisions. Regardless of where his heart was, his responsibility was to the mission. He had three men dead, and another hopefully in custody. That was something he had to deal with. At the very least Dooler was doing his job now, and Cable too. He had no clue why they hadn’t just done that in the first place.
He had no clue about a lot of things, but he just didn’t have the interest or energy to pursue the answers. He needed to know what the hell Kara had been doing when she left the unit without her blaster. He needed to know if Cops and company had been responsible for the attacks and death that had occurred before their arrival. He needed to know why the security team had taken so frakking long to just do their job. He needed to report back to the Galactica, and check in with Salik to be sure he had done all he should for Kara.
He needed to do a hell of a lot, but all he was capable of was sitting there beside Kara, keeping one gentle finger at Kara’s temple, one of the few places where she wasn’t bruised or cut. He wanted so much to hold her, but knew she wasn’t ready for it. She might never be ready for it, and he didn’t know what he could do about it.
It was a long time later when he heard a faint knock at the door to the unit. He stood carefully, surprised when Kara’s arm flashed out to grab him just above the ankle.
"Where are you going?" Her voice wasn’t frantic, but it was definitely more than curious.
"I’m just answering the door," he assured her. "I won’t leave."
It took her a moment to let go of him, but finally she nodded and tucked her arm back under the covers. He watched her for another moment before answering the door and stepping just outside so he wouldn’t disturb her.
"How is she?"
Lee glared at Cable. He was grateful for the help the man had given — he doubted he could have gotten her out of there himself — but he resented both his initial reluctance to do his job and his current intrusion. "How the hell do you think?"
Cable sighed deeply, but didn’t press the issue. "I wanted to tell you that we have Danner in custody. He’s talking some, and admits he was active in one of the attacks. I guess it all started when Aikens went after Caya and then accidentally killed her, and then Danner and Case went to Cops with it, and they went after the guy. Toller — that was one of my men — saw them do it and so they beat the crap out of him, too. They were just afraid they’d get caught. Dooler didn’t know what exactly had happened and he didn’t want to implicate Toller, so he kept his trap shut and threatened the rest of us to do the same. As it stands now, Aikens is still on the Galactica on life support, and Cops and Case are both dead."
What about the third man you killed?" Lee asked.
"Barkley," Cable answered. "He was Caya’s husband, and Cops’ brother. He was just there by family obligation."
"He paid for that," Lee said.
"Yeah. A lot of people paid for one man’s stupidity."
Lee glanced back towards the door that he was holding open with one foot. He had promised her that he wouldn’t leave. He wouldn’t break that promise. "So it’s all under control?"
"Yeah. Once the security team realized that someone was in danger that shouldn’t be, it really woke them up. I guess they figured if the miners wanted to kill one another it was one thing, but taking out a Colonial Officer was something different."
"No shit," Lee said quietly.
"So, what are your orders?"
Lee had to think about that for a moment. "Keep Danner locked up tight," he suggested. "Until I hear differently from Kara, he’s just as responsible as any of them. As for the rest, I’ll contact the Galactica tomorrow and see what they want us to do. Can the mining operation continue?"
Cable nodded. "We know enough about the job to fill in the gaps. We’ve got the wild cards out of the deck, so things should be pretty straight from here. Dooler’s being a pain in the ass, but I’m used to that from him. He’s just worried about how much trouble he’ll be in for not taking care of it all himself."
Lee sighed and nodded. "Then I’ll wait until I get further orders to get in the middle of it. Right now I need to be here."
Cable nodded gravely. "Are you going to need to take her up?"
Lee thought a moment. He’d been asking himself the same question. "Not immediately," he decided. "There’s nothing life-threatening, and she doesn’t want to go, so I’m going to wait a while. It’s the least I can do for her."
Cable nodded again. "Go take care of her," he instructed.
Lee didn’t even bother to acknowledge the command. He just stepped back into his unit, locked the door behind him, and seated himself at Kara’s head so that he could watch her sleep.
Chapter 8
Kara rested, or tried to, but she never really made it to a true sleep. Part of the reason was the various aches and pains that were getting progressively worse. She seemed to hurt all over. The other part was sheer nerves. She was still shaking, and couldn’t seem to stop. She was still cold, and she couldn’t get warmed up. She was still terrified, even though she knew it was over. The dim interior of the unit made her nervous, with shadows everywhere and visibility limited. But she didn’t want to be so simpering as to ask Lee to leave on a light.
Nothing had happened, she reminded herself again. Okay, she’d been pretty badly groped, but she’d been through nearly as much from a couple of her first dates. It was one of the reason that she had stopped going out until Zak had asked her. She didn’t like being mauled by men. She was also relatively battered, but again it wasn’t the first time. She’d been through enough fights as a child to make her quite familiar with bumps, bruises, cuts, and scrapes. So there was really no reason for her to be a basket case. There wasn’t a reason, and yet that was exactly how she felt.
She was both grateful and resentful that Lee had been the one to come to her rescue. She was grateful of course because she trusted him with her life. He hadn’t fussed, hadn’t forced her back to the Galactica, and he hadn’t said anything to either embarrass or blame her. He had been a perfect gentleman. She couldn’t have asked for him to do anything differently.
But she hated that he knew what had been done to her. She hated that he had been the one to help clean the scrapes and bruises, and he’d had to ask her what more might have been done. He had seen her at her weakest, helpless and afraid, and a part of her couldn’t help but resent that. She respected him beyond measure, and to think that his respect for her might be compromised somehow seemed worse than the attack itself.
It both did and didn’t help that he hadn’t left her side since. Of course, she had asked him not to. He was just doing what she’d wanted. And every time she thought about him leaving her alone she started to shake, yet she wasn’t sure she wanted him here either. She didn’t know what she wanted, except that she wanted it all to go away. All of it. Even him, just so long as he didn’t leave her side.
But sleep would not come. Each time she thought it might, she jerked awake as her mind took off on another track. She was exhausted, and yet she was so wound up that she couldn’t relax. Any other time, she would have just cuddled up with Lee and had him talk her out of being afraid. But she didn’t know if she could stand even him touching her. It had been all she could do to tolerate his impersonal hands as he’d cleaned her off and bandaged her wounds. He had never been impersonal with her before, and it bothered her that he was now even as she understood his reasons. She just wanted him to take her in his arms and hold tight, and she wasn’t sure she could hold herself together if she didn’t because she had never felt so disconnected from people in general. She felt like she was slipping away. But if he touched her, she’d fly apart.
"You need to sleep," he told her softly. His voice was deep and solid. It was her anchor.
She didn’t even reply. She knew she needed to sleep. Just as she had thought he wasn’t going to push her, he was doing just that.
"Kara?"
If his voice hadn’t been so gentle, so careful, she would have been furious.
"What?"
He was silent for just a moment, but she knew he wasn’t done. "Can I do anything for you?"
And how could she be angry with that? "I don’t know," she told him honestly.
"Would it… Would it be easier to sleep if I laid down with you?"
She thought about that. He was currently sitting at the head of the mats, carefully not touching her but close enough that she could almost feel him there. It was a careful balance. A part of her wanted him next to her just because she had always felt so safe in his arms. Another part was afraid that if he touched her she’d lose her mind. She wanted the familiarity, but was afraid that she would hurt him or embarrass herself if she rejected him at this point. He had done so much for her, and he wanted to do more, but now she didn’t have a clue what she needed.
"Kara?"
She let out the sigh that she’d been feeling. "I don’t know," she admitted. "I can’t sleep, and I’m miserable, and everything hurts, and I just want to make it all go away."
There was another stretch of silence, and then, "Scoot over," he said softly.
She did, moving to her side of the mat so he could lie down carefully beside her. He didn’t touch her, just laid on his side next to her and watched her. She remained facing him, not quite comfortable turning her back although she couldn’t have said why.
Very carefully and slowly he reached forward and brushed her bangs back out of her eyes, tucking them behind one ear as he always had. He had given her plenty of warning and time to back away, but the gesture felt right rather than threatening so she hadn’t needed to. "You need a haircut," he said softly.
"Not a lot of stylists on the Galactica," she replied. "I’ve thought about going after it myself, just to get it out of my eyes."
"You could ask Carrie," he suggested. "She keeps most of us in regs."
"Yeah, with a buzz cut," she reminded him. "I like it short, not shaved."
He traced her hairline again with one finger, trailing it around the curve of her ear. She shivered slightly, but didn’t back away. He had never hurt her. He would never hurt her. "I’m sorry about last night," he told her softly. "I was angry, and embarrassed, and it had nothing to do with you. I’m sorry I took it out on you."
She wondered why he was bringing it up now, when he should be yelling about her disregard of his instructions. But she decided that perhaps he’d been as scared tonight as she had been. "Don’t worry about it," she told him almost absently. She didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t want to remember it.
"We don’t always have time to think in an emergency," he allowed. "And me on the floor is definitely an emergency. I should have been more understanding. You did the best you could."
She shrugged, not commenting.
"I said things that weren’t true," he continued. "It wasn’t luck that kept you with us when you were a kid, it was just meant to be. And it wasn’t luck when you saved my butt in the attack. It was a skill that I’ll never have. And it wasn’t just luck when you dragged me back from that planet. It was raw determination, and I’m more grateful than you’ll ever know. I’m sorry I deliberately tried to hurt you. I was just… mad."
"It’s fine."
"You did the best you could in a crappy situation," he corrected. "I can’t blame you. Especially when I haven’t given you much to work with lately."
She wished that he’d just let it drop. If she thought about what he had said, then she would think of what she had done. If she thought of what she had done, she had to face the results of those actions. She didn’t want to think about it. She knew they would have to bring it up, but she didn’t want to deal with it just now. She needed to forget for just a while.
"I’ll talk to Salik when we get back about my leg," he told her. "It just doesn’t have the stability that it should have."
She nodded her agreement, but didn’t say any more. As much as she wanted a diversional topic, she couldn’t seem to find something to last. In addition, he was still touching her, and she was now having to fight to stay still. This was Lee, she reminded herself for the tenth time. He wouldn’t hurt her. He had never hurt her. His finger had trailed past one ear, gently down her neck and finally down one arm to grasp her hand in a feather light grip. She held her breath, knowing this was Lee and reminding herself even once more that he would never hurt her. She had no clue why she wanted to scream and run.
"Tell you what," he said gently as he held her cold fingers in his. "I don’t have a clue what you need right now. All I want to do is put my arms around you and hold on, and I know that isn’t the right thing to do. So how about this: I’m gonna roll over, and you can get as close as you want, or not. Just get comfortable, okay? You look so tired, and I just want you to get some rest tonight."
She would not cry. She wouldn’t. Instead, she gave him a small nod. He gently brought her hand to his mouth, kissed her palm softly, and then let go to turn his back on her. She stayed where she was for a few minutes, but as always his body heat was an irresistible draw. She turned away from him, not sure why it was easier now to trust what was behind her. She backed up into his warmth and curled around herself to keep herself in one piece.
She jolted when she felt him move, but only felt the blanket fall across her as he reached down to tug it up over both of them. Slowly, their shared warmth began to surround her and she began to get a little drowsy. She was still afraid to fall asleep, frightened of what awaited her in the nightmares she was sure to have, but too tired to fight it any longer.
Kara awoke in a cocoon of warmth, her head resting on Lee’s chest and his arms carefully encircling her. In sleep, she had wiggled into a familiar and comfortable position. She had a fuzzy feeling that something wasn’t as it should be, but was too groggy to place it. She looked up at Lee, and was surprised to see him wide awake and looking down at her in the gray light that filtered through the unit’s walls.
"Morning," she told him softly, placing her head back onto the solid warmth of his chest. She loved waking up like this. She always had.
"How do you feel?"
The question seemed out of place for a moment, but then she shifted a bit and was brought up short by the pain in her chest. She moved again, and a twinge went up her back. Another movement brought aching legs to her attention. The night rushed back into her memories with frightening speed. It hadn’t been a bad dream. It had happened. All of it had happened. But in the light of day it didn’t seem quite so close and she thought she could cope with it. At least, she hoped that she could.
"How do I look?" she asked instead of replying directly. She edged back away from Lee just a bit, moving so that she was beside him instead of on top of him, but not quite dislodging his arms. If he knew just how bad she felt, he’d have her back on the Galactica within the hour. She didn’t want that.
"You really wanna know?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Probably not," she admitted. "I can’t find anything that doesn’t hurt."
"I’ll check the med kit," he offered. "I’m sure there’s something in there for pain."
"I might take you up on that," she agreed, edging just a few more inches back from his warmth. "But not right now."
He was looking at her oddly as she scooted back. His arms finally released her entirely and he put one hand under his head to prop himself up on one elbow and watch her. "Okay," he said softly.
They stayed that way for a while, neither moving nor speaking, next to one another but no longer touching, and just taking comfort from one another like the dozens of times they’d done this before. She might not have been as relaxed in the position as she had always been — her mind dashing and darting despite her efforts to calm it — but at least this was something she could associate as safe. She wished she could just crawl back into his arms, but she was scared to death to try it.
She also knew there were things he should be doing. She hadn’t even asked him what had happened to the men involved the night before. She wished she could find it in her to care. There were probably a dozen places that Lee needed to be, a hundred things to get done. Right now, she just wanted him to herself. She wanted this comfort. She needed this safety. Just as he had when she had been seven and too stubborn to cry at the crash of thunder or flashes of lightening, he managed to keep the storm away by just being there. The rest of the world could just manage on its own for a while longer.
For his part, Lee wasn’t acting restless. He seemed just as content to lie there next to her as she was to lie next to him. He wasn’t saying anything, and there wasn’t a lot in his expression that could tell her what he was thinking. She wanted some reassurance that he wasn’t angry that she had pulled away, but she didn’t know how to ask for it. She didn’t really want to know anyway. She was afraid of the answer.
"Lee?"
"Hmm?"
"What are you supposed to be doing right now?"
He looked down to face her and she lifted her head to meet his eyes. "Taking care of you," he admitted sheepishly. "How am I doing."
"Pretty well," she admitted with a small smile. In fact, she couldn’t think of anything more he could do to make the terror of the night before fade. Maybe holding her, but the idea frightened her as much as it reassured her. She decided to settle for this simple companionship separated by a clear six inches of space.
"I must be," he said softly as he reached forward to trace a finger over her lower lip. It took every bit of willpower she had not to pull away from even that gentle touch. "I was afraid it would be a long time before I saw that smile again."
She closed her eyes, not wanting to face the pain his words caused, and losing the smile he had referred to. She would be okay. She had to be okay. She couldn’t let Lee lose any more than he already had.
"Have you reported back yet?" she asked, trying to change the subject from her uncertain emotions.
He shook his head. "I’ve been here," he admitted. "When you’re up to walking to the Raptor, we’ll take care of it then."
She frowned at that. "Shouldn’t you be calling down the prison barge?" she asked.
He looked at her for a moment, but he didn’t answer. She knew him well enough to know he wasn’t telling her something, and fear began to edge in on the secure little circle he’d created around them. "Spit it out," she told him firmly.
"We have one man in custody," he admitted. "I’m sure you’ll be able to tell us how involved he was whenever you’re ready, and we’ll go from there. Until then, we’ll just keep him where he is. Security is back to doing their jobs, so all I need to do is stick around and oversee the operation. Dooler promised to come by if anything came up that he couldn’t or wouldn’t handle."
"One?" she asked, ashamed of the fear that had crept into her voice. Her own mind had nearly shut down when she’d heard that number. Oh God, they couldn’t still be out there. "Lee, there was a lot more than one man there."
"I know," he said softly, his expression telling her that he had caught the vague panic in her voice. "They’ve been… taken care of."
"Explain that," she demanded. She needed to know.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, subtly his hand reaching towards her and then withdrawing before he touched her. She noticed. "Cops is dead," he told her simply. "He was responsible for two of the attacks, plus taking you. He didn’t make it out of the cave."
"Did you…" she began, but couldn’t finish the question.
"One of the security men shot him, point blank. I think it was Dooler. It was better than he deserved."
She couldn’t help but be grateful that it hadn’t been Lee. Killing a human being was a lot different from blasting a maniacal machine. She didn’t want him to have to adjust to that kind of act. She didn’t want the responsibility for him facing that kind of guilt. "The others?" she asked. She needed to know it all, whether she wanted to hear it or not.
"One of the guys up on the Galactica murdered the miner," he explained. "After he raped her. They think killing her was an accident, but we’ll probably never really know. Cops had a thing for her, and got together a couple of his team and attacked the guy. One of the security guards saw it, so they tore him up too. Both of the men that helped Cops were there last night, and neither walked out. You don’t have to worry about them."
"One’s in custody?" she asked in a small voice, unaware for the moment that she had reached out towards Lee.
"He claims he never touched you," Lee said as he took her hand. "But I have my doubts. He’s the one that told us what was happening. The security guards confirmed it. Dooler had been keeping them quiet because he didn’t know how the guard was involved and didn’t want a big blowup. He was trying to investigate it himself, because he didn’t want the fleet involved in what was essentially miners keeping their own sort of justice. So it looks like we have all the players, and no one involved is getting off. We’re going to finish up with the mine by deadline, and then get the hell out of this quadrant."
"Not bad investigating for a pilot," she told him with a forced smile. "I’m glad you got it figured out."
"I didn’t," he corrected. "Once they realized that it was more than just the miners involved, security went in with guns at the ready. But by then it had already gone to far." He looked down at her a moment more, his face showing clearly that he hated what had happened as much as she did. "I’m glad we have our answers, but it wasn’t worth it," he said softly. Then he added, "I know you don’t want to talk about it, but…"
"You’re right," she agreed, cutting him off before he could ask any questions that she wasn’t ready to answer. "I don’t. But I do want to thank you. It could have been a lot worse. And you don’t have to scream or anything, because I know it was my fault. I left without you, I didn’t take my weapon, and I didn’t pay close enough attention. Hell, I provoked him in the first place. So you don’t have to ream me out. I know I caused it."
"No," he told her firmly, placing a finger under her chin to force her to meet his eyes. "I’ll admit that some wrong choices were made. Yes, you should have listened, but it should have been calm discussion rather than me screaming at you. As for them attacking you, it wasn’t your fault. It was his fault. He was sick, and cruel, and had no respect for human life at all, much less for women. You cannot take responsibility for that."
"But, I…"
"Couldn’t even talk to me," he finished for her softly. "I slammed that door closed when I railed you out last night, and I was wrong." He took a deep breath before continuing, and she could see how hard it was for him. "Well, I wasn’t wrong to get on you for putting yourself in danger, but the way I did it was pure spite. I wish I had a decent excuse." He took another breath before continuing with his eyes firmly closed, as though he couldn’t face her with what he had to say. "Kara, I’m just sick of it. I’m tired of hurting all the time, and not being able to fly or run or do what needs to be done. I’m sick of feeling inadequate because of this injury, and it has me sniping at everyone. I was jealous last night because you did what I should have been able to, and I took that out on you. You can out fly me, out fight me, and beat the hell out of me in cards. And I won’t lie and tell you that it doesn’t get on my nerves to be beaten by a girl all the time, but that’s not a reason to hate you. It’s part of who you are, and it’s a lot of why I love you. I just forget it when I get pissed off."
She was silent for a long time, just letting the words sink in. "Wow," she finally whispered. "How long have you been wanting to say all that?"
"Part of it for a while," he admitted with a soft smile. He reached back up to brush back the bangs that had again fallen into her eyes when she’d looked down for a moment. "Some of it I just figured out last night."
She decided that she’d let go the comment that he loved her. They had loved one another for twenty years, even if neither had ever said it in so many words. It wasn’t something to get all warm and fuzzy over. "Um, was that before or after you let me have it?"
"After," he admitted sheepishly. "If I’d thought about it before, I probably wouldn’t have blown up. Well, at least not so badly. You needed to hear that it could have been handled better, but you deserved to hear it with respect. I wouldn’t have gone off that way on anyone else. I wasn’t fair that I did it to you."
She thought about that for a minute, and finally gave a nod although even she wasn’t sure if it was an acceptance of his apology or an offering of her own.
"I care about you," he admitted with a quick kiss to her forehead. She flinched away slightly, but hoped he hadn’t noticed. She hated being so damned jumpy. It had been so quick, in fact, that she hoped he had missed her action altogether, but then he spoke again. "You’re easy to care about."
"You’re just saying that because you know if you don’t I’ll beat you up," she told him, but the joke felt flat. They both knew it was all she could do today to lift her arms. He was pretty safe from any assault. But she wanted a return to the easy banter that was familiar, and reassuring on a level more basic than even having him close to her.
He grinned at her, then leaned down to place a very gentle kiss on her lips. She did flinch back from that, quite obviously, so there was no hope that he hadn’t noticed. "Sorry," he mumbled, letting her know that he had indeed caught the action. "Couldn’t resist."
"It’s okay," she told him with a shrug. "I’m just sore."
He looked down at lips she knew had been made raw by the tape, and she could see that he was trying his best to hide both anger and worry. His next words let her know that any anger wasn’t directed at her. "Is there any part of you that doesn’t hurt?" he asked her carefully.
She didn’t really want to answer that either. Just lying there had made her aware of more aches and pains then she had felt since she’d slammed their Vipers into a landing bay wall. "Let’s find out," she suggested, rather than giving him a direct answer. She was desperate to move, even if it hurt. Her nerves were wreaking havoc on her system. "I’m hungry," she lied, "And you need to make a report."
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "That means we have to get up?" he asked wistfully.
"Um, yes. Definitely."
"Why? He asked in a mock whine.
"Because you need to walk me to the latrine," she told him point blank, and had the pleasure of watching him blush. That was the end of her entertainment, however, as she pushed up from the ground and tried to stand. Every muscle protested, and parts of her frankly hurt. She finally let him take her arm so she could try to get her balance and make her legs unfold.
"You okay?" he asked as she stood next to him, motionless except for occasional tremors that she couldn’t seem to stop. He was still favoring his right leg as she had seen when he stood, but other than that he seemed stable enough.
She started to deny the pain, and then decided not to bother. He’d seen her body — all of it — and he knew what she had to be feeling. She locked her forearm with his when he offered it and just held on. She gritted her teeth against the discomfort her body was giving, the sweat breaking out on her forehead, and the dizziness swamping her. This was not a good time.
"Okay?" he asked again, more urgently. His hand was still on her arm, carefully avoiding the worst of the bruises but still providing welcome support.
"I will be," she admitted. "Right now I feel pretty lousy. And nauseous. Maybe food isn’t such a good idea after all."
"Did you hit your head last night?" he asked as he slid his fingers up beneath her hair, rubbing her scalp carefully. His touch didn’t seem so bad now that she wasn’t lying down. She was proud of herself for not flinching at all. "Any spots hurt?"
"Not in particular. I know I passed out, though. I have no clue what happened while I was out."
Lee looked at her with concern as he released her to reach down and grab her uniform, and then let her use him as a brace to put her feet into the legs. "Why did you pass out?" he asked quietly.
"I was running," she admitted. "That’s why I went out last night. I was too wound up to sleep. Anyway, they knocked the wind out of me when they caught me, and then covered my mouth. I couldn’t get enough air in." The words came out clearly enough, but the tremor in her body increased. She really didn’t want to think about it.
"Did they drop you, maybe?" he asked.
She shrugged one shoulder as he helped her pull up the top part of her jumper and fasten the top in place. "Maybe. They didn’t seem real careful." She found it was much easier to focus on the physical logistics of the attack, rather than on the emotions that coincided with it.
"Are you… okay talking about this?"
"Today I’m fine," she told him, somewhat surprised that it wasn’t more of a lie. "And you need the information. Just don’t ask me tonight." She couldn’t explain the difference that the sunlight made, but it did so just the same.
Once she was dressed, Lee walked her to the latrine, and then towards the Raptor. She wished there were a way to keep him from reporting this to the Galactica, but couldn’t think of a way to explain three deaths and an arrest without broaching the subject. Still, the closer they got to the spacecraft, the more agitated she became. She really didn’t want this broadcast through the fleet.
"Lee?"
"Yeah?" he asked, turning back from where he was lowering the hatch for the Raptor.
"How much do we have to tell the Galactica about what happened last night?"
He stopped with the hatch down, and shifted until he was sitting on it, eye to eye with her. "What are you asking?"
"I’m asking if we have to tell them that I got hurt," she admitted. "Can’t we just say abducted or something?"
"Why?"
She closed her eyes in frustration. Men. "Would you want everyone in the CIC knowing that four men beat the living crap out of you?" she asked in frustration. "Besides, I know your father. He’ll pull me back up to the Galactica before you can talk him out of it. I really don’t want this mission messed up. I’m okay, and I’ll heal, and it’s better if I do that before your father finds out all the disgusting details."
"I don’t think it’s a good idea," he told her softly. "They’ll need to know, and you need to get checked."
"You saw everything, Lee," she whispered fervently. "Every bruise, every scrape, and every cut. You know damn well that I’m going to be fine. This is nothing we can’t manage on our own."
"So why is it upsetting you so much, if it’s no big deal?" he asked.
"I don’t know," she admitted. "But I’ve worked frakking hard to get the squadron to look at me as a pilot instead of a woman, and I don’t want this messing it up."
Lee was silent for a long time, his hand almost absently reaching forward to fiddle with a few strands of her hair that reached almost to her shoulders now. She held her body tightly in place. If she flinched now, there was no way he’d let it go. "I’ll tell him they grabbed you," Lee finally consented. "And that we don’t see any serious injuries. Is that close enough?"
She let out a breath of relief. "It’ll do."
It wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to just forget all of it, but she knew that they still had a job to do. She would take what little she could get.
Chapter 9
The next few days went surprisingly smoothly on the planet. His father hadn’t exactly been pleased at the edited report Lee had given, but neither had he argued. He had asked about Kara, and hadn’t balked at the limited description of her abduction and rescue. If perhaps Lee felt guilty about not admitting the details, he justified himself with the assurance that the eldest Adama really didn’t need the worry. On a personal note, Lee didn’t want Kara returned to the Galactica just yet. He had come awfully close to losing her, and her presence gave him a much-needed reassurance.
Lee found it surprisingly easy to keep track of Kara, because she was never more than an arm’s length away. A good deal of the tension had been removed from the mining crew when Cops’ open hostility had been removed, and Lee found most of the miners to be more open, willing to answer questions or help out, and didn’t consider them a significant threat. Their reticence had been as much fear of Cops and his gang as it was a cultural issue. They had stayed clear because they feared what the man would do to them if they didn’t do as he said.
On the other hand, Dooler and his crew were just this side of hostile. Only their responsibility for letting Cops grab Kara in the first place, and the threat of military action because of it, managed to keep them from being downright threatening. So he kept his commands to Kara intact about staying close. Not only did it reassure him, but he didn’t want to take the chance of an unfortunate "accident" befalling her.
He held to his mandate that Kara stay within calling distance, and she actually stayed closer than that. He was still walking her to meals, although they were now willing to eat in the common room rather than their unit, and also to the latrine and back. He was with her from the time she woke up in the morning to the time they fell asleep at night, and all the time in between.
Lee noted a lot of other, more subtle, improvements in the assignment as well. The security forces were really doing their job, as well as helping in the mines. It had turned out that they had primarily been following orders from Dooler, a man for whom they all had a great deal of respect. The lead guard hadn’t been trying to prevent the investigation, but had instead been trying to protect one of his own. Lee and Kara’s interference in that goal would not be easily forgiven.
The guard who had been attacked had been a drinker, and Dooler had been afraid that he had been either in on the rape or otherwise involved in the miners’ antisocial pursuits. He hadn’t wanted to implicate one of his own without knowing the whole story. So while he wasn’t a classic bad guy, he was still responsible for withholding information and obstructing the investigation. The rest of the guards didn’t appreciate his being charged.
The miners were still a little coarser than Lee was used to after being in a military environment most of his life, but they were by no means rude or abrasive to them now. He found many of them to have a good sense of humor, if crude on occasion, and in their own way they were more welcoming now than his own squadron had been in the past. He even found himself liking a few of them, sharing in their jokes and letting them beat him at cards.
Kara kept a more reserved presence around the men. While she no longer stood against walls with the other women during meals and recreation time, neither did she edge into conversations with the men or ask to join the card games. She stayed near Lee, rarely talking to anyone besides him, and staying out of matters concerning either the mine or security unless he asked her a direct question. On reflection, she was positively angelic. It was starting to worry him.
In private, he had seen some changes in her as well, although nothing as overt as she demonstrated in public. She didn’t talk much, nor did she smile unless he really worked to coax it out of her, but she didn’t seem depressed either. He kept waiting for something to happen to let him know that she was getting over the attack or that she needed something more to help her, but neither message appeared to be forthcoming. She was simply reserved, speaking when spoken to and making sure that she never let herself get far from his side.
Physically, she was doing better. The first two days had been the worst, with bruises and sores that kept her in pain. He was able to find a mild analgesic in the medical kit, and she willingly took it. He actually did the same and found that he was able to get around a lot better with the pain in his leg kept to a more tolerable level. He had been dead-set against taking medications for the pain right up to the time when he had watched Kara gasp and squeeze her eyes shut as she’d rolled over the wrong way on the mats. It had occurred to him that if she should be allowed some help in recovering from injuries, then he could allow himself the same luxury. He had been more than happy with the results, and would make sure he mentioned the improvement to Salik when he got back.
Lee still had to help Kara with dressing and undressing, and they were the most difficult times in their day. She blushed the whole time, and he was awkward with trying not to look at her too closely. He didn’t want her to feel like a bug under a microscope, but neither of them had a choice. Her arms had been yanked around so much that the muscles in her shoulders were swollen and stiff, and getting into and out of the jumper-style uniforms was a challenge. He continued to use the anesthetic wipes on the scratches on her back and legs, and the ointment on the various cuts. They were healing well, and no longer needed bandages except perhaps to keep the ointment off her uniform. She only had the one, now, so keeping it clean was a priority.
Each evening they set a routine of eating with the miners, visiting the Raptor for a daily report, then returning to the unit to clean her up and get ready for bed. She didn’t complain about the daily cycle, but then she didn’t complain about much. She was far too quiet in Lee’s opinion, and what had begun as a grateful relief that she was managing the situation was gradually changing to a nagging fear that she simply wasn’t facing it. She wasn’t shutting him out — at least not verbally — but neither was she being open to him.
He had received an indication of how serious the situation was getting earlier that evening. They had been sitting together eating dinner with the miners when Lee had mentioned that he needed to use the facilities. Kara had stood with him and walked the short distance, then waited while he took care of business. When he finished and gestured that it was her turn, she had shaken her head. She didn’t have to go.
"Then why did you come out?" he had asked in confusion.
"Because you did," she had told him simply. They had walked back to the spigot, Lee had washed his hands, and together they had returned to their meal. There had been no one threatening at the table, it had been bright daylight outside, and she had been thoroughly introduced to everyone around her. And yet she hadn’t been comfortable enough to sit there with them, even with a blaster at her side. It just wasn’t Kara.
But he tried not to worry. It was much easier to tell himself that she just needed time to regain her stability after the fear and pain of the attack. As she moved easier, she would be reminded less of the experience and she would return to normal. At least, that was what he told himself. In the meantime, he tolerated having her closer than a shadow during the days, and always at night.
And yet even the nights had changed intensity since the attack. She had gradually stopped keeping her distance from him on the mats, and now moved in close and held on tight. After the first couple of nights she had at least shed her uniform, going back to sleeping in her underwear, and it was then that he realized just how closely she was holding on. Normally in the past, he had slept on his left side, keeping pressure off his right leg, and she had scooted back into his lap. Occasionally she had even wrapped her arms around his upper arm as she slept, cuddling him as he did her. His left arm was her pillow, and his right arm kept her close. It had been comfortable, warm, and easy.
Now she tended to keep herself curled into a ball until he lay down next to her. Once there, he found her practically on top of him, arms around his body and head resting on his chest. He didn’t mind the position. They had lain that way many times before, and regardless of where they started they had often shifted in the night and woken that way. But never before had she held on so tightly, or needed the position to go to sleep. Her body was tighter than it had been before, lacking the cuddly relaxation he had always associated with her in his bed. It wasn’t that he minded the changes — he really didn’t — but they worried him. It just didn’t seem to be a natural progression of their relationship. It seemed forced, and that made him uncomfortable.
But to mention it just might give it validity, and he didn’t want to take that risk. Kara was open to him at the moment, relying on him and trusting him, and he couldn’t help but be flattered by her confidence in him. Their situation was no longer imminently dangerous, and they had time to look around the site during the day and gain a better appreciation for the mining operation than they had while Cops had been running it. Oddly, the loss of four men hadn’t seemed to diminish their productivity at all, and they were still on schedule to leave in a couple of days.
Lee couldn’t wait to get back to warm showers and clean sheets. As much as he had enjoyed having Kara near him so much, he was also looking forward to a little privacy. She wasn’t obtrusive in her presence, but she was always there. He was starting to feel that their togetherness was too much of a good thing. That thought made him more than a little guilty; after all, if all she needed to feel safe was his presence, then it was pretty cruel to resent it. But he hadn’t even been able to use the bathroom without her standing outside the door, and the constant supervision was making him feel a little funny. He was beginning to understand how a conjoined twin might feel.
The other nagging suspicion he had was that she wasn’t as fine as she seemed to think she was. Yes, the wounds were healing and the bruises were starting to fade, but she still jumped at unfamiliar sounds, and she didn’t take off her blaster except to sleep. She was nervous — something he had never seen in her — and she didn’t need much provocation to panic. She was also clumsy and distracted, which was very much unlike her. Kara had always had a clear and intent focus regarding all that went on around her. She was too easy to startle now, and he couldn’t count the times she had tripped, run into him, or banged into a cave wall or table. It was as though she wasn’t paying any attention to anything.
Lee’s worries had been confirmed the day before they had been scheduled to leave the planet. He and Kara had been checking the Raptor out for flight readiness, a standard procedure when a ship had been dormant for more than a few hours. Lee was checking systems that had been off for over a week, and Kara was checking the munitions they had brought along for emergency use and had thankfully not needed.
"I’m having trouble getting c-circuit to register," he called back. "Can you check it from the back panel?"
Kara nodded and closed the flooring over the ammunition, locking it into place carefully. She eased herself into the rear seat of the Raptor, usually reserved for monitoring during times of attack and cross checking during jumps. She had been in the seat only a moment when she called out to him. "Hit it again."
He tapped the switch once more, seeing no response at his terminal. "Anything."
"It’s clear down here," she told him. "We’ve probably lost an external wire."
"I’d feel better with it operational," he admitted. "How about pulling some of your magic and checking that wiring for me?"
She was still for a long moment. "We got tools?" she asked. She didn’t sound hopeful.
"Always the emergency repair kit," he reminded her. Then, with a quizzical look, "You know that."
"Right," she said simply, forcing a smile that did not look natural. She still didn’t move from the seat.
"You okay?" he asked her gently.
"Fine," she answered, but she sounded anything but. She still hadn’t moved.
Finally, Lee did. He grabbed the emergency tools from beneath the co-pilot’s seat where she knew very well that they were kept. Three long strides took him back to her seat. "I’d do it myself," he told her, an idea forming in his mind that he truly hoped was way off base. "But I have half a dozen systems I still want to check. You’re better at the electronics than I am."
She nodded once, the rest of her body still frozen, as he placed the work kit on her lap. "Just hop down and get to work," he told her softly. She looked like she might fly apart any second. He hadn’t seen her so fragile since the night of the attack. "I’ll be right here."
She took a deep breath, and then another, and another. Her eyes closed and he watched a shiver shake her whole body. Finally, she reached to her right and checked the placement of her weapon, then took a final long breath and held it a moment before letting it out. "I’ll take care of it," she told him in a voice that was little more than a whisper.
He nodded, leaving her sitting there as he went back to the front of the Raptor. He didn’t start checking systems, though. He just sat there waiting, seeing if she would be able to get out of the spacecraft without him.
He had a long wait. Finally, after more than ten minutes, he began working on the last couple of checks that needed to get done. He had the answer to his question. Kara wasn’t okay. She was a very long way from being okay. Starbuck, the most hotshot member of Blue Squadron was terrified to get ten feet from him to do a simple repair. This wasn’t just a matter of her wanting to stay close; there was pure fear in her eyes.
Another long ten minutes passed as he finished up the systems checks and then went back to her seat where she was still sitting with the heavy tool kit on her lap and her eyes focused nowhere in particular. "Kara?"
"Hmm?" She focused her eyes on him, and the fear was still there.
"I’ve got the systems set," he told her. "Let’s go down and check that circuit. You can show me where it connects."
She nodded in a jerky little motion, but she began to move. He stayed right behind her, using her shoulder and the Raptor wing as supports to keep weight off his leg as he disembarked. He pulled a blanket from the wall rack just inside the hatchway, and spread it out beneath the Raptor. Kara just stood there and watched until he lowered himself down and scooted up under the spacecraft. She wasn’t ten seconds behind him, following his motions and settling in beside him far closer than was necessary to get the job done.
They made the repair quickly. She had been right about the wire, which had a bare spot that had shorted it out. She replaced it quickly, splicing new wire into place more efficiently than he thought Tyrol could have managed it. Making the repair hadn’t been what had worried her. He was afraid he knew what had.
As they cleaned up the tools and shook out the blanket to return it to the Raptor, Lee looked at Kara as sternly as he could manage. "I’m going to check that circuit," he told her. "Then put the box back. It’ll take me thirty seconds, tops. I want you to stay here."
Her whole body tensed, but she nodded her ascent.
Leaving her standing there was one of the hardest things he had ever done, but he somehow made himself turn his back and hop back up onto the Raptor wing. He replaced the tools beneath the seat, stuck the blanket in its holder, and seated himself in the pilot’s seat just long enough to confirm that the circuit was now operational. That done, he made sure all systems were off, and exited the Raptor.
He found her right where he had left her, standing motionless and looking straight ahead. Her breathing was far too fast, and the shivers moving through her body were visible. Closing his eyes, he stepped close and put his arms around her tightly. She jumped so violently that she frightened him, and the sound she made was a barely restrained scream. He spoke quickly, assuring her that it was just him, and she didn’t move for a moment When she did he was sure that she was going to pull away, but instead she turned in his embrace and her circled his waist as she pressed the full length of her body against him. He held her there for long minutes, until her shaking stopped and her breathing was back to normal.
"You okay?" he asked softly. The question was moot. He already had his answer.
"I’m sorry," she whispered. She never bothered to answer his question. She didn’t have to. There was nothing she could tell him that he hadn’t already determined on his own.
The problem with not telling all of the truth when you should, Lee decided, was having to fix the mess later on.
And a mess was what he had to fix. The main issue at the moment was that he had no one to turn to for instructions on fixing it. No one, save him and the security members he had sworn to secrecy, had a clue what had really transpired on the planet; not Salik, not the squadron, and certainly not his father. He couldn’t even seek professional help for her, because it simply didn’t exist. There were a couple of doctors among the ragtag fleet, one of the best being right there on the Galactica, but so far as he knew there was no one who specialized in therapy or psychology. If there were, he was sure that person would have been brought in when their chief scientific advisor had gone around the bend. Instead, they had slowly watched the man lose all contact with reality until he had required hospitalization and later incarceration. He would not allow that to happen to Kara, whatever he had to do to prevent it.
But the Galactica wasn’t filled with self-help manuals either. He would check with Salik about managing victims of assault, and perhaps the security leader back on the Galactica might be able to shed some light on the matter, but without telling them what he needed he was going to be fishing around in the dark.
The most sensible course of action would be to break his word to Kara and just tell his father what had happened. But Kara had a point that he didn’t need the stress. A few months back he had worked and worried himself to the point of illness during the fuel crisis, and he was just now getting back onto his feet and back to a regular workload. Colonel Tigh had been amazing during the interim, but Kara neither liked nor trusted the XO, so going to him was another dead end.
So as Apollo flew back to the Galactica with Kara beside him — another sign that she wasn’t well, in that she had asked him if he’d like to take the controls — he did so with an absolute fear of what would happen when he got there. He couldn’t keep her with him without answering a whole lot of questions that he didn’t ever want asked, and yet he didn’t know how she’d manage on her own. She was the most independent woman he’d ever known, and currently the most dependant that had ever existed. If she couldn’t go to the bathroom by herself, how the hell was she supposed to fly her patrols?
It could all work out, he supposed. After all, stranger things had happened. She would be back among known friends once on the Galactica, and she would be far from the site of the attack. He might be worrying for nothing. He might be trying to find solutions to problems that wouldn’t even exist. She might fall right back into her routine, as they all had after losing their world, and within a few days be back to the Kara he knew, loved, and needed.
And she might not.
"Raptor two-four-two to Galactica. We are on final approach. Request permission for landing." The words were automatic, and he said them without any conscious thought as he approached the starboard landing pod.
"Raptor two-four-two, you are cleared to land on starboard landing pod one. Continue hands-on approach."
"Roger, Galactica," he replied as he made a tiny adjustment to his controls. "Raptor two-four-two coming in. I have the ball."
His landing was smooth and easy, as much due to Kara’s management of the buffers and gimbals at the back of the plane as to his own control of the thrusters and fuel. They were an amazing team, working together almost subconsciously to manage the aircraft. They had been the same way at the academy, accused more than once of being attached at the brain, simply because they were so in sync with one another. He might have thought it came from growing up together or some amazing cosmic gift, but the truth of the matter was that his father had taught them both the foundations of their flight skills, and they always pulled from the same reference when working.
"Raptor two-four-two, down and locked," he announced into his helmet mike.
"Roger that. Welcome home, Apollo."
Lee gave an unconscious smile as the Raptor began to descend into the Galactica’s landing bay. It was good to be home, even if that home was flying through space. "Thanks, Dee."
Kara was already pulling off her helmet and shutting down systems. Lee began doing the same from his end of the craft. As usual, the process was quick and efficient with the two of them working together.
As they completed the necessary duties and the hatch started to lower, Lee reached towards Kara to release the collar from her helmet. She squealed and jumped back a good two feet. The action startled him as much as it did her.
"I’m just taking off the collar," he told her gently, taking a step towards here and breathing a sigh of relief when she didn’t withdraw. "I didn’t mean to startle you."
"No problem," she assured him as she ducked her head to make it easier for him and then reached forward to do the same for him. "I wasn’t thinking."
He nodded his understanding and grasped one of her hands quickly. "We’re going to have to talk, Kara," he told her on a sigh. "You’re worrying me."
It was exactly the wrong thing to say. She tugged her hand back from his and straightened her body, refusing to look him in the eye. "I’m fine," she told him firmly. "It’s good to be back home. Things should be fine, now."
"I hope so," he told her honestly. "But if they’re not…"
Anything more he might have told her was cut off by the embarking of the deck crew. They came in through the open hatch, oblivious to the currents running between the two pilots.
"Welcome back, Lieutenant," Tyrol said as he came up the wing with a clipboard in hand. The Chief might not have noticed the quick way that Kara stepped back and away from him, but Lee couldn’t miss it. She had run directly into him in the process.
"Um, C-circuit," she said, sounding short of breath. "We had to do some rewiring prior to takeoff. It looked like routine wear, but it’s worth checking."
"Got it," he told her with a smile. "How was the flight."
"Short," Lee answered for her. Tyrol laughed with him, along with Cally and another of the deck gang that was checking the Raptor over on the inside. When they were done, they would start on the outside. It was Commander Adama’s orders: every aircraft was to be completely checked after each and every mission or routine patrol. Every one. No exceptions. They were too valuable to lose even one to lack of maintenance.
Lee agreed, but he would have really have liked to have had a few minutes alone with her before the deck gang had descended on them. To someone who knew what she’d been through, her current behavior was odd but understandable. Without that information, she was just plain acting strange. He was going to have to talk to someone about the situation, but the only person he really could go to was Kara herself. And finding a place to talk on this ship was not an easy accomplishment. Further, if she wouldn’t talk to him on the planet — where they had been in one another’s pockets for the last week — he had no clue how he would get her talking now.
Chapter 10
Kara stepped down from the Raptor with feelings so mixed that she couldn’t define them. She was home. She was safe. She was fine. No one had even commented about the yellowed bruise on her face, and there was no reason for her to be nervous.
But she felt like she was coming out of her skin. She had been shaking so badly on the way back that she had even offered Lee the controls of the Raptor. Given their discussion on the way over he must have thought her insane. She couldn’t find it in her to care. She just wanted to get back to her quarters, into her bed, and hide for just a little while. If that sounded whiney and petulant, she could live with it. She was tired.
"Starbuck?"
Kara closed her eyes in resignation, not even looking back to see if she was being addressed by officer or enlisted. "Yes, Sir?"
"Commander wants you in his office," Socinus told her with a grin. "He just called down. Something about a debriefing."
"Great," she muttered with all the irritation that was in her, and then looking at the young man’s face she took pity. "I’ll head up now," she told him. "Thanks for the message."
His grin returned and he gave a wave before taking off towards her Raptor. God, had she ever been that young? With her legs feeling like lead she moved towards the ladder leading up out of the bay. Reaching up for the rail bothered her shoulders, and she was reminded that they had run out of the analgesic the day before. She would have to find something in the infirmary. The steps were their own challenge as well. She was coming to realize that she was still not in as good of shape as she would have liked to have been. She hadn’t been running in over a week; not since…
She wasn’t going there. Period.
She finally finished the stairway and stepped over a hatch into the main Galactican corridor. She had never noticed just how many openings there were off in either direction — how difficult it was to see what was coming at any given point — and she tried to ignore it now. Keeping her eyes locked straight ahead, she walked to the front of the ship, to the little, nondescript office that was next to CIC. She knocked twice, and waited.
"Come in," the Commander called.
She took a deep breath, then another, and reached for the hatch. It swung open easily and she stepped over the doorway. "You asked too see me, Sir."
"Yes," he agreed, but he wasn’t looking at her. He was turned around looking thorough things on his desk, absently shuffling papers from side to side. "Have a seat. I’ll be right there."
She did as he said, gingerly lowering herself to the foot of his bed because there were no chairs save one that was behind his desk. Before she could really get settled, he turned to face her.
"Maybe I should say, ‘lie down’," he corrected, the smile that had been on his face fading to a look of clear concern. "Lee said you’d been in the middle of it, but he didn’t mention that shiner."
She shrugged. "It wasn’t that big of a deal. He wanted to show me he was the boss, so he knocked me around a bit. Lee was pretty quick at coming to my rescue." It wasn’t all of the truth, and she knew that he could sense it, but it was all she was going to admit.
"I see," he told her, his voice contradicting the words. "What other injuries did my son fail to mention."
"I’m okay," she insisted. "I had some bumps and bruises, but nothing broken and nothing requiring sutures. I’m just a little colorful for the time being."
"Would Salik agree with that assessment?" he asked softly.
Damn, this man was just like his son. She knew where Lee got his tenacity. "I can’t see why he wouldn’t," he hedged. "I haven’t been by to see him because Lee and I didn’t think it was necessary. Your son’s not bad with emergency first-aid, and there’s no reason for Salik to check someone who’s already healed."
He looked at her for a long, probing moment. She was uncomfortable under his gaze — an experience she wasn’t at all familiar with — but she didn’t turn away. "I’ll need a full report on everything that happened during the mission," he told her. "Times, dates, names — the full deal. I want it on my desk tomorrow morning."
"Yes, Sir," she agreed. "Anything else?"
He looked at her, turning his head to the side and regarding her carefully. She felt rather like a bug beneath a microscope. "Get some sleep," he recommended. "You look like you need it."
She gave him as natural a smile as she could manage. "Yes, Sir."
"Dismissed."
She smiled more genuinely as she stood and left the room, walking towards quarters. All she really wanted was a good shower and some sleep. She’d manage the report in the morning. She hadn’t had a clean uniform in a week, and she felt like she was covered in grime. It was not a good feeling.
Kara stood fully dressed in her quarters facing the mirror in her locker. Her face looked horrible. And if her face looked that bad, there was no way she could take her uniform off without someone taking notice. Frak.
Even if she changed in a restroom stall, the towel she could wear to the shower would show arms and legs that were still scratched, scabbed, and bruised. She couldn’t get ready for bed, either. Wearing her uniform to sleep in would elicit almost as many questions as stripping to her underwear and exposing sore arms and legs. For some reason, mission or no, she couldn’t bring herself to undress in front of her comrades. She couldn’t face the questions. But it wasn’t as though she could get by with not cleaning up.
She sat on the edge of her bed and glanced at her watch. They had spent most of the morning helping load the mining equipment onto carriers — or at least, Lee had — so it had been afternoon before reaching the Galactica. Then there was the meeting with the Commander. Lee still wasn’t up from the landing bay, or if he was she didn’t know where he was. The only redeeming feature for the moment was that their quarters were essentially deserted as everyone went to dinner, changed shift, or otherwise occupied themselves. She didn’t feel like facing anyone. But she couldn’t be sure it would stay that way, and she didn’t want to risk stripping and then having to explain herself.
She was going to need to do something to get cleaned up. She was pretty limited in her options, though. Finally, deciding that telling one friend was better than showing everyone else, she tucked her toiletries and a clean uniform into a small bag and headed down the corridor to family quarters.
The Chief answered her knock with a large smile and a confused expression. "What’s up?" he asked with a glance at the bag in her hand, confirming her suspicion of his confusion.
"Is Sharon here?" she asked softly, trying to keep a smile on her face with little success.
"Sure," he answered, ushering her into the room. She tried not to move too far away from him as she passed him in the doorway, but she still scraped her back on the hatch. She hoped he hadn’t noticed, but the odd look on his face said that he just might have. She tried not to care.
Sharon was sitting on the edge of the bed, folding some clothes that were too small to be hers and too big to be for the baby that still wasn’t really showing. "Hi," she said with a delighted smile. "You’re back!"
"Yeah," Kara agreed, beginning to feel uncomfortable with her choice. Sharon was one thing; the Chief was another.
"What’s up?"
Kara couldn’t help but blush. "I’ve got a favor to ask," she admitted.
"Do I need to…" the Chief began, gesturing to the door behind him.
Sharon saved Kara from the awkward question. "Go get some dinner," she said simply. "Let us have some girl talk."
Tyrol rolled his eyes, but he rolled them as he left the room so Kara had to smile.
"What’s up?" Sharon asked as soon as the hatch closed behind her husband.
"I, um…" she looked everywhere except towards her friend. She wasn’t ready for the inquisition that was bound to come. "I need a shower," she finally said.
"That long a line?" Sharon asked with a smile that was sagging. Kara decided more of what she was feeling might be on her face than she had intended.
"Okay, the short version," Kara admitted closing her eyes. "I got the crap beat out of me by some of the miners. I really don’t want a sympathy play from the guys in the squadron. Do you think I can borrow your bathroom until some of the black and blue fades?"
Sharon gave her friend a gentle smile. "You really hate asking for help, don’t you?"
There was no reason to deny it. "You know it."
"The guys don’t need a reason to be annoying," Sharon announced. "So we’re certainly not going to bother giving them one. Help yourself and take your time. If you need extra towels, they’re in there."
Kara could have hugged her. As it was, the relief was so great that she nearly choked up and wasn’t able to say a thing. She gave a grateful smile, hefted her bag in front of her, and slipped through the small hatch to the right of Boomer’s bed.
It hadn’t been so hard, Kara decided, as she lathered her hair for the first time in over a week and scrubbed her body thoroughly. It really hadn’t been so hard after all. Sharon hadn’t asked questions, and she hadn’t made awful jokes. Maybe she was getting this all out of proportion. After all, it wasn’t like she’d never been in a fight before, or carried a bruise or two in the past. She would get through this, she decided. It was just going to take time. Well, time, and a few close friends.
Kara was well fed, very clean, and almost feeling human again in her tidy work uniform. She had decided to leave the uniform in place as she lay down on her bunk; after all, it tended to get cold overnight and she wasn’t the only one who stayed dressed to sleep. Just because it wasn’t her normal pattern didn’t mean that it wasn’t acceptable.
Lee had come in shortly after she’d made it back to the room. He had left briefly for the shower, and was now lying below her, most likely already asleep. They were both tired. Lee had offered her a spot on her bed — the one he was currently borrowing until his leg was more reliable — but she had declined. She was going to have to stand on her own two feet at some point, and better to do so before she got too attached to having him near. Yesterday she had frightened herself when she hadn’t been able to let him get more than ten feet away without a panic, and she knew that she couldn’t live that way. She had to straighten herself out. Her body was healing. She wasn’t willing to lose her mind just as she was starting to feel better.
But lying on the bed and sleeping were two different matters. Her mind was going around in circles about the report she had no clue how to write, and every time she closed her eyes a new sound would sneak in, startling her and keeping her alert. She had gotten used to the warmth of Lee’s body and the silence of the mining camp. She wasn’t used to listening to thirty people breathe, sneeze, and snore. Well, she wasn’t used to it anymore.
After over an hour of staring at the ceiling, Kara had had enough. She was more wound up now than she had been when she first lay down, and it was only getting worse. Finally she gave a disgusted sigh and eased herself over the side to drop softly to the floor. She felt the shock in her thighs and hips when she landed, but ignored it. She was long past due for a good solid run, and she knew it was the only thing that would calm her down.
Since she had been a young girl, Kara had turned to running for peace and focus. She had run with the eldest Adama when he came home for leave, wanting so much to be like the hero that had saved her years before. She had carried that love of running through school, and had even rubbed it off on Lee if not on Zak. All through the academy she had studied for tests with a headset on the track field, and once she was teaching the track was the place where she planned her lessons and got down to her student’s level. Running always seemed to calm her and turn her troubles around. And when she was running, she believed that nothing could touch her.
But something had. It had been during her last run that she had been attacked. She would not let one night of terror take away something that was so much a part of her. She refused. If she wanted to calm herself, then she would run. It was all a matter of mental discipline. She wanted to run, so therefore she would run. She would have preferred if Lee could have gone with her, his solid presence reminding her that she was safe and cared for, but even if his leg were at full fitness she wouldn’t have awoken him. She had taken enough from him in these last few days.
Kara slipped her running shoes on and eased herself out the hatch. She did a couple of quick stretches because it had been so long since she had exercised, and then began at an easy jog. This wasn’t so bad. The corridors were quiet, even if there were more of them than she really wanted to pass. The lights were dim, although not so dim as the light had been the last time she had run. She completed her first circuit of the main corridor and eased out a sigh of relief. She was going to be fine. If her heart was a little quicker than it should have been, it was only because she was a week out of practice. If the shadows in corridors seemed menacing, then it was only because she was imagining things. No one was walking the halls at two in the morning, so she wouldn’t have to worry about sneak attacks or complaints about her form. She just ran, picking up speed as she did so, allowing the adrenaline rush to anesthetize the aches and pains that she had been fighting all day.
She hadn’t realized how long she’d been running. At nearly three in the morning, she began to note absent movement out of the corners of her eyes, but she didn’t focus on it. She concentrated on her deep breathing, keeping enough Oxygen in her body to maintain her pace. It wasn’t crowded yet, regardless of the shift changing, third going off duty and fourth coming on. She didn’t bother to look down at her watch because she was simply running with all her strength, trying to forget, and trying to make something in her world balance out the way it was supposed to.
At first she didn’t notice that her breathing got a little irregular as she passed by a series of dark doorways towards the front of the ship. She just picked up speed once more, her own breath roaring in her ears as she did her best to exorcise the demons of her past week. She was going to be okay, damn-it. She had to be okay. She couldn’t allow anything less. She was going to run, and then she was going to write that frakking report, and then she was going to get on Lee’s ass to put her back in a Viper where she belonged. She was tired of being grounded for something that had happened months ago. She was tired of being babied for something that never should have happened. She was sick and tired of needing the warmth of another person to chase away the chill of fear that seemed to reside in her every minute of every day since the attack. She wasn’t going to take it any longer. She was going to get control back in her life, and that was all there was to it.
Her mind was so focused on what she might do, what she needed to do, and how she would accomplish what she must do that she didn’t see what was right in front of her. Passing by the side corridor that lead towards CIC, she didn’t exactly see the man walking to his quarters, and instead caught only a glimpse of darkness before she dodged away from his shadow without conscious thought. Her panicked movement sent her careening into the wall, stumbling over her own feet, and knocking out what little breath she had. She tried to take in some air and fought against the fear and fury of not being able to breathe even as the darkness shimmered at the edges of her vision. She might have even regained her feet if she hadn’t seen him reaching for her. It was happening again. She could feel it happening again. But she wouldn’t let them get her this time. She wouldn’t let them hurt her, or touch her, or scare her. She would get help. She absolutely had to get help.
Her body hit the ground with a loud thud, but she didn’t stop to think about the pain in her elbow or her shoulder. She just curled herself into a ball and prepared to spring at the threat that was approaching. As the shadow of a person rose over Kara’s body, she finally sucked in enough air in to scream, and scream loudly. To ensure that he could not get a hold on her, she kicked out at him, arms flying and nails scratching. If she’d been a little more coherent, she might have thought to use fists, but as it was she was just running on survival instinct and desperation. She screamed at the top of her lungs, loud and long and shrill. She was not going through this again. They would not touch her. She would not let them. She would die before she let them put their hands on her body again. Someone would hear. Someone would have to hear. She couldn’t go through this again.
The man continued to crowd closer, his hands grasping at her arms, and she put even more energy into her attempts to fight, scoring more than one successful scratch before he could get a grip on her. He was saying something, but she didn’t give a frak what it was. Her legs kicked out, her hands shaped themselves into fists, and with her eyes tightly closed against the horror she fought him. She would not let this happen. She hadn’t been able to fight before, but this time she would manage it. This time she would keep herself safe, even if she had to die to do it. They wouldn’t take her away. She wouldn’t leave her life in the hands of others. She would get herself help if it was the last thing she did.
She didn’t really notice when other people started gathering around her. She had no clue when the man who had been trying to reassure her finally backed away and sent someone for a doctor, and someone else for his son. It wouldn’t be until later — much later — that she would realize she was doing more than just screaming and flailing and fighting her own Commander. She had been calling out desperately for Lee.
Chapter 11
"Captain Adama, they need you. Now!"
Lee didn’t even know where the voice had come from, but pure instinct had him reaching for his locker door to grab his uniform before he even opened his eyes. He hadn’t heard action stations called, and he was fairly sure he couldn’t have slept through that, but it had to be something serious.
A hand closed over his, drawing his attention to the cadet that was urgently looking him in the eye. "I don’t think you have time for that," he said cryptically. "There’s a problem with Lieutenant Thrace."
If there were any magic words in Lee’s vocabulary to wake him fully from a dead sleep, those were the ones. "Where?"
"Main corridor near CIC," the cadet answered. The Commander wants you there on the double."
Lee was already on his way out the hatch, dressed only in his underwear, socks, and a sleeveless shirt. Half-way down the corridor, he heard the screaming. He kept moving even as his heart skipped a beat and his breathing ground to a halt. She was calling for him, and she wasn’t doing it subtly.
There were several people standing around staring, concern and confusion etched on their faces. Lee ignored them for the sight of Kara leaning against the wall with arms and legs striking out randomly. His father spared him a single cursory glance as he approached. The older man was kneeling just outside her range of strike, but not touching her. The marks on his hands showed Lee that this hadn’t been Adama’s first course of action. "Salik’s on the way," he informed Lee. "What the hell is going on?"
Lee didn’t answer his father at first. "Get everyone out of here," he commanded quickly, not even considering the rank his father held. "Get her some space."
He didn’t bother taking his eyes off Kara while it happened, but in the back of his mind he noticed the lack of murmuring that had previously been prevalent, so he assumed that his father had done as he asked.
"How long has she been like this?" he asked over her screams even as he reached for flailing arms.
Adama shook his head, indicating that he didn’t know. "I ran into her coming around the corner," he admitted. "She went down screaming. I can’t get near her without hurting her."
"Kara?" Lee said softly, resisting the urge to try screaming over. "Come on, Kara. Come back to me." He shifted his glance to his father. "Reach for her arms," he commanded. "Grab her wrists, but keep your shins clear." He didn’t wait to see if his father was listening, but instead trusted that it would happen.
Rather than taking the forward approach as his father had done, Lee slipped around behind Kara, scooting her forward from the wall just as soon as his father had her arms down. She tried to turn and direct her attack in his direction, far beyond any rational thought that might have told her who he was, but his father’s grip was sure. Seating himself against the wall for support, Lee put an arm around her waist and tugged her into his body. He tossed his good leg over both of hers, using it to keep her from kicking his father. From there, he slid his right arm down hers, from shoulder to fingertips, grasping her wrist beneath where his father was holding. He transferred her right wrist into the left hand, and pulled her arm across her body. Then he held out his right hand and let his father place her left wrist into it. He tugged her arms up, turning her hands upward as well so that she couldn’t scratch him. He made sure they were locked up beneath one another, preventing the chance of her bending forward to bite. His father had moved down to take control of Kara’s legs, holding them down under one of his knees as he knelt before them. Lee ducked his head to one side, sliding Kara down a bit so that her head crashed into his chest rather than his jaw.
The screaming hadn’t subsided, but neither had Lee’s calming reassurance, now given immediately next to her left ear. He kept his face to the side, not allowing her head to slam him in the mouth, and he rocked his body slightly forward and back. His grip on her wrists was firm, but gentle enough not to injure her. Then gradually he slipped his bare legs up and over hers, his feet meeting between them so that his father could move back. It was a basic safety hold, taught in the academy for emergency use with prisoners, and it was designed to not only keep her safe, but him as well. It was something used so infrequently as to be nearly forgotten. He didn’t know why it had come to him now, but he was grateful because it seemed to be effective.
Kara’s screams had decreased perceptibly as Lee spoke to her. The gentle rocking soothed her, and at some point her body went nearly limp as she realized that she wasn’t in imminent danger. Doctor Salik arrived with a hypodermic needle in hand just about the time Lee had her calm. William had he presence of mind to hold up a hand, gesturing for him to wait.
"Kara, it’s okay," Lee whispered again. "You’re on the Galactica. You’re safe. I’ve got you. No one will hurt you; I promise you that. You’re okay. We’re going to keep you safe."
Lee felt the moment when her rationality returned. Her head fell back to his shoulder and the eyes that had been wide open yet seeing nothing finally closed. Her face flushed blood red, her features clearly showing her embarrassment, and her body started to shake. Lee didn’t blame her. Whether from adrenaline or just fear, he was shaking as much as she was.
"I’d like to give her a mild sedative," Doctor Salik told Adama. "It should keep her calm until we can get her to the Life Station."
Kara didn’t respond when William looked at her, but Lee did. He nodded, flashing his glance to his father’s, giving silent permission. "Kara, we’re going to give you a shot. It’ll only take a second, and then you’ll start to feel better. Do you understand?"
He couldn’t see the nod, but he felt the change in pressure of her head against his chest. "Go ahead," he told the doctor. "Slowly."
Lee continued to hold Kara’s wrists, but her arms were no longer tightly locked against her body. Salik unbuttoned one sleeve and pushed it up to expose her upper arm, and his glance came up to Lee’s as he noted the mottled bruising with its clear linear shape. Someone had obviously had their hands on her, and hard, and recently. Professional as always, the physician didn’t comment and proceeded to give the injection into the muscle. Then he sat back and waited with them.
It wasn’t a long wait. Kara was already exhausted from her run and the panic that had followed. Gradually her body went from nearly limp to completely flaccid as Lee held her. He never stopped the soft words whispered into her ear, even after she was well and truly out. "You’re okay, Kara," he whispered. "I’ve got you. I won’t let go." He wasn’t sure if either the doctor or his father caught the gentle kiss that he couldn’t help placing on her cheek, but at the time he really didn’t care one way or the other.
So focused was Lee on the woman in his arms, that his father’s hand on his arm was nearly a shock. Lee opened the eyes that he had closed to focus his attention on Kara, and changed that focus to his commander. "We need to get her to the Life Station," Adama said gently.
Lee nodded, but made no effort to move.
"Lee?"
"I know," he acknowledged reluctantly. He was just grateful to have felt her body relax, and he wanted a moment to catch his breath. Still, his father was right. The sooner they got her out of the corridor, the less likely it would be that anything else would go wrong. "If you’ll help me get her up, I can carry her."
Adama didn’t look too sure about that, but he took Kara’s weight as Lee leaned her forward and Lee slipped from behind her. She didn’t even protest, merely lolled her head to one side. Once standing, Lee and his father both reached down and lifted her, finally transferring all of her weight to Lee. His right leg gave a token protest, but thanks to the medications that Salik had provided him with upon return from the mission, he tolerated the pain and his leg held both his weight and hers.
They walked slowly through the corridor, but it was the only concession to Lee’s disability. Once inside the Life Station, one of the technician stepped forward to pull the sheets back on a well-made bed, and Lee gratefully transferred Kara there. She didn’t move once he’d laid her down, so he took a minute to put a hand beneath one of her hips and turn her slightly onto her left side, gently positioning one arm over the other in a more natural position, before pulling up her covers. Kara hated to sleep on her back.
"Start an IV," Salik told his technician. "Just saline and dextrose for now. Get me some labs, too. Everything from blood count to electrolytes, and a pregnancy test. Don’t skip anything."
"Yes, Sir," Cassie told him, making a quick note on an electronic clipboard. "Anything else?"
"I’ll let you know in a few minutes," the doctor informed her. "We’ll be in my office if there’s any change."
"Yes, Sir."
Salik gestured Adama before him towards the small clinical office, but it took Adama’s cleared throat and a hand on his arm to get Lee to move. He didn’t want to leave her. She looked so small lying there, and so afraid despite closed eyes and slow breathing. "Her boots are still on," he commented inanely.
"I’ll take care of it," Cassie assured him with a gentle touch to his arm. "Go."
Lee finally nodded and followed the doctor and his father into the medical office.
"What happened?" Salik asked as soon as Lee had the door shut behind him. "And don’t you dare tell me that she got in a fight, because I’ve seen a traumatic stress reaction before, and I got a damn good look at her arm."
Lee took a deep breath and looked to his father for support. He didn’t get any. If anything, his father looked angrier than the doctor did.
"She was running on the planet," he began. "A group of the miners got a hold of her and took her down in the mine. She wasn’t conscious for most of it, or at least she says she wasn’t. When we got there they were doing their best to beat the living shit out of her. Security killed the miners, I got her out and cleaned her up, and she made me promise not to tell what happened."
Salik was silent for a moment. "Was she raped?" he asked.
Lee swallowed twice before he answered with a faint, "No."
"Are you sure?" the doctor demanded.
Lee looked over at his father again, but the face was as impassive as it had ever been. He really wished the Commander would go back to his own duties. If he had to have this discussion, he didn’t want his father to hear all of it. "I’m sure," he said simply. "They had her clothes… off. But his weren’t. If we’d showed up a minute or two later I think she would have been. As it was, they weren’t gentle. She was cut up and bruised, but nothing we couldn’t manage with time and a simple med kit."
"I’ll have to examine her myself," Salik said to no one in particular. "I’ll do it while she’s out. It’ll be easier that way."
"You didn’t feel this information was pertinent to the mission report?" Adama asked him, his voice beginning to show the anger that Lee had been expecting. He didn’t know if that anger was at Kara, at him, or at what had been done to her. He didn’t think it mattered. He was the one here, so he would have to deal with it.
"She asked me not to," he said simply. "It was all she asked. They took her, and I couldn’t find her, and they beat the hell out of her while they had her. And the only thing she asked of me was that I not broadcast it to CIC. I couldn’t tell her ‘no’."
"And there are no closed frequencies on the Raptor?" Adama asked sarcastically.
"She asked me not to tell," he repeated. He didn’t have any greater excuse than that. "I had to respect her decision."
"And if you has asked her not to mention that you’d been shot on your last mission," Adama said in a furious voice. "Would it have been acceptable for her to omit that information just because you wanted it that way?"
"No, Sir," he admitted. "I was wrong. I’m sorry."
"You’re sorry," his father nearly growled. "I have a lieutenant laying in there too afraid of her own crew to act rationally, and you’re sorry?"
Lee didn’t say anything else. His father was right. There was just nothing more he could say. He had known she wasn’t okay, and yet he had not asked for help. Selfishly, he had kept her to himself, as though he could protect her, when he had already proven quite graphically that he could not.
"I need to check on my patient," Salik told them.
After the doctor had left the room, politely closing them in his office, Adama turned to his son. "What were you thinking?" he asked abruptly, but the note in his voice was more pain than anger. He was as worried for Kara as Lee was.
"She seemed okay," he admitted softly. "Not at first. I mean, that first night it was all I could do to clean her up and get her settled down to sleep. I wanted to bring her back up here, but I swear she begged me not to. She wanted to stay for the mission, and Lords help me I was selfish; I wanted to keep her close so that I’d know she was okay. By the next day, she was almost herself. She was a little nervous, and maybe quiet, but nothing that really worried me. She wasn’t having nightmares or panic attacks or anything that would have told me that she was on the edge. The last day on the planet she was a little clingy, and maybe I a got a little worried, but as soon as we got back to the Galactica she seemed fine. She took off working, and I didn’t even see her the rest of the day. I honestly thought she’d be fine once she was back on familiar ground." He paused a moment, considering. "She reported to you. How did she seem?"
Adama paused to consider that. "Tired," he admitted. "And a little colorful, although she brushed that off. Maybe she was a little more subdued, but I didn’t pick up on anything that really worried me."
"Exactly," Lee agreed. "I couldn’t see going against her when it didn’t look like she needed it."
William Adama sighed deeply and seated himself in the doctor’s chair. "If you could have seen her come apart in that hallway…" he began, but he couldn’t finish.
"I saw enough," Lee agreed, leaning back on the exam table with an exhaustion as deep as his father’s. "I’m sorry. I can’t say I’d do anything differently given the same circumstances, but looking back I can see the mistake."
"Apollo," the Commander began. "Son," he corrected. "There are certain relationships that do not work well together in the service. I do not assign siblings, spouses, or lovers together when we have work to accomplish. Invariably, their loyalty to one another clouds their dedication to the mission, and their judgement as well."
"Kara and I don’t fit any of those three categories," Lee remarked.
"No," the Commander agreed with a soft smile. "You’re far closer than any of those. I’ve seen it, and I’ve ignored it. I can’t ignore it any longer. You and she cannot be objective towards one another. She proved it when you were lost on the planet, and you’ve proven it now. Your objectivity is compromised."
"So we can’t work together?" Lee asked. He knew it was reasonable. He still hated it.
"Under certain circumstances, it will be acceptable," Adama considered. "You still fly almost as one, and that’s a rare gift. On less urgent missions, things of a more routine nature, there shouldn’t be any conflict of interest. I can even see you remaining the one to make shift assignments, although I must insist that everything be approved through Colonel Tigh before it’s posted."
"Tigh?" Lee asked. "Why not you?"
"Because," his father explained, "When it comes to the two of you, I simply don’t have any objectivity either."
Lee sat a moment in silence, letting his father’s words sink into him. It was the closest his father had come in a very long time to telling him how much he cared. Lee wished he could find a way to tell his father the same, but even two years hadn’t taken the distance completely from their estrangement over Zak.
"Can I make a request?" Lee asked carefully.
"By all means."
"Back at the beginning of the war, you offered me an office for CAG duties. At the time, I needed to get to know my pilots and space was an issue, so I turned you down. Is there any way you could arrange it now?"
Adama looked at him for a moment, considering. "What exactly would you need in the office?"
Lee shrugged. "A desk," he decided. "Room for the files. Maybe a computer if there’s one available. And maybe a bed."
Adama nodded. "As CAG, it’s reasonable for you to bunk away from those you command," he agreed. Then, looking his son in the eye, he asked bluntly, "Do you need a single bed or double?"
Lee knew what his father was asking. After all, this discussion had begun with Kara, and it had never really left her. "It doesn’t matter," he finally answered. "She doesn’t take up much space."
The Commander gave a small smile as he nodded. "I won’t disagree that she could use some space after this," he admitted. "Half of CIC was in that hallway, and the rest must have heard the screaming. She’ll need some distance from that, but she can be damn stubborn. How do you plan to get her out of the squadron quarters?"
"We spent two years rooming together at the academy," he reminded his father. "Shouldn’t be too hard to talk her into being a roommate again. Especially if you can arrange a bathroom."
Adama grinned. "We’ll have it set up by tomorrow," he promised. "I’d doubt Salik will let her out before then."
Apollo nodded gravely. He had almost forgotten for a moment just how messed up Kara was.
"I need to go start taking care of things," his father told him as he stood. "She has a lot of friends in squadron and on CIC that will be worried. I’ll give them a minimum of information to get them settled and put an end to any rumors. I want you to stay with her. You’re off duty until further notice. Consider it compensation time from the mission. Kara, too."
"Thank you, Sir," he said automatically. Then, as his father opened the door to leave, he stopped him. "Commander?"
"Yes?" Adama asked as he turned back around.
"Does it… bother you?" he asked cryptically.
"Bother me?"
"She and Zak…" But he couldn’t finish the thought.
"Were engaged," Adama concluded. "And very much in love. But that was four years ago, and I never expected Kara to climb into the grave with him. She’s a young woman, very beautiful, and very special. She deserves to be happy."
Lee nodded. He couldn’t argue with any of the statements, even if none of them told him what he wanted to know.
"And Lee?"
"Yes, Sir."
"You deserve to be happy too," his father told him softly. Then, without another word, he closed the door leaving Lee sitting on the edge of the exam table deep in thought.
Chapter 12
Kara’s eyes adjusted slowly to the dim light around her. She had the feeling that she should be afraid, very afraid, but nothing could pervade the fatigue and numbness that was filling her mind and body.
Turning her head to the side she spotted Lee sitting in a chair. His head was back against the wall, and she couldn’t see if his eyes were open or not. He was out of uniform — a fairly rare occurrence on the Galactica — and dressed in what appeared to be a loose-fitting long sleeved shirt and matching baggy pants. In truth, he looked adorable.
She shifted her body again, trying to get comfortable. She didn’t have a lot of success. Her head felt like it was filled with cotton, and her body was aching as it hadn’t since the morning after the attack.
The attack.
Oh Lords, for a moment — just a moment — she’d forgotten. She was here because she had fallen apart in the hallway. She didn’t remember details clearly, but she could very well remember running, and then becoming aware of Lee’s body around her as his father looked on anxiously. Most of what was in between was a blur, but she knew it couldn’t be good. She wondered if anyone else had seen. It was bad enough if the eldest Adama had indeed seen her weakness.
Shifting again, she felt the tug in one hand and looked down to frown at the IV catheter in her left hand. Thankfully it was well taped, or she would have dislodged it. As it was, the urgent need to find a bathroom was explained by the nearly empty plastic bag hanging just over her head.
She could go by herself. She had been in this room more than once for a flight physical or to visit a friend, and she knew where the restrooms were. But for some reason she couldn’t coordinate in her mind just how she was going to get that bag above her out of the way so that she could go. It didn’t look like independence was going to be an option.
"Lee?"
Her voice had been raspy, but his head jerked up immediately. He gave her a tentative smile when he did so. "You’re awake."
Talk about stating the obvious. "Looks that way," she admitted, her throat still too dry to sound normal. "Um, can you see if there’s a doctor or tech around someplace?"
"Are you okay?" he asked urgently, coming to stand at her side and clasp the hand that wasn’t invaded by an IV line. "Are you hurting."
She debated being embarrassed, but this was Lee. "Not too bad. I like the cute pajamas," she remarked.
"Well, I got a little cold in my underwear," he admitted with a sheepish grin. "Didn’t want to go back to quarters, so Cassie found me something to wear. How about you? Not your most glamorous outfit."
She glanced down at the sheets that covered what was essentially paper clothing. "Yuck."
"You look pretty good to me," he told her with a wink. Then, more seriously, "How are you, really?"
"I need a toilet," she told him honestly. "And I can’t figure out how to get around this rope." She lifted her opposite hand, the one with the IV, to illustrate her point.
"I’ll get a tech," he told her simply. "Be right back."
Lee was true to his words, and Cassie was there in moments to assist her to the restroom. Lee was courteous enough to stay out of the room while she did it, and Kara was grateful. Her uniform was gone, replaced by a paper dress that was more revealing than she would have liked, and she really didn’t want him watching her groggy progress to take care of business.
Shortly after helping her back to her bed and getting her something to drink, Cassie returned to remove the IV. "Doc Salik ran some antibiotics," she told her casually. "And quite a bit of fluids to get you rehydrated. You may need to make a couple more trips before it’s out of your system."
"Great," she mumbled in response. And then had to ask, "Is Lee still around?"
Cassie grinned. "I’ll send him in."
He didn’t come in immediately, but when he did he was back in his duty uniform and looked like he’d been to the shower. No wonder he had taken so long. She desperately wished she could do the same. "Feel better?" she asked.
He ran a hand over a freshly shaven face. "Actually, yeah," he admitted. "How about you?"
She took a deep breath and let it out on a sigh. "I don’t know," she admitted. "I’m not even sure what happened."
"What do you remember?" he asked, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. She inched over to give him room without even thinking about it. He absently took her hand and started playing with her fingers as she tried once more to recall what had happened.
"I was running," she remembered. "And I saw something. I don’t even remember what. Next thing I knew you were behind me and telling me I was going to get a shot." She thought a moment more. "I think your dad was there, too."
Lee nodded, tracing one vein that went from her index finger up to her wrist, not making eye contact. "He was," he confirmed. "Anything else?"
She shook her head. "Just the fear. It’s like waking up from a really bad nightmare. I know it was bad, but I can’t remember what was bad about it; just how I felt, and afterwards being really tired."
Lee nodded, but offered nothing more than his presence. For a change, it wasn’t enough. She needed to know.
"What happened?" she asked him.
He shook his head. "I wasn’t there for all of it," he admitted. "My dad said you slammed into him when you were running and fell. When he tried to check on you, you kind of came apart. You were kicking and swinging, so he mostly stayed back so he wouldn’t get hurt. There were some crew folks around from shift change, so he sent one of them for me. By the time I got there, you were a little edgy, still crying, but otherwise not too bad. Dad took your hands, I snuck in behind you, and held you until you got it together. That’s when Salik showed up with the sedative."
"How many people saw it?" she asked, her face flushed hot with embarrassment.
"Dad sent everyone to duty sections," Lee told her. "There were three or four people in the hallway, but most just wanted to see what the screaming was about. You may get joked for a while about sleepwalking."
She smiled at that. "Maybe that’s better," she thought aloud. "Sure as hell easier than explaining the truth."
"Which is?"
She looked up at him. "I don’t really know. All I remember is the fear, and then you being there, and me feeling really stupid but too tired to do anything about it."
It was a long moment before he asked, "How are you feeling now? Really."
She thought about it, but she wouldn’t lie to him. "Scared stupid," she admitted. "I was grounded before. If I’m crazy, they’ll take my wings permanently."
Lee shook his head. "You aren’t crazy. The doc thinks it’s probably emotional stuff left over from the attack. He’s going to get someone over here from the Lenna Dell to check on you."
"The hospital ship?" she asked in confusion.
"I guess that’s where they’re housing the resident experts," he explained. "He’s sending for a trauma specialist for you, and a physical therapist for me. I didn’t even know we had those left," he added with a shrug. "Neither one of us are on the duty roster in the near future."
"But you’re fine!"
"No," he corrected, looking her squarely in the eye for the first time since his return. "I’m not. With the pain-killers it’s better, but that’s not a solution. There was more damage to the muscle than Salik thought, and if we don’t start some kind of therapy it’s never going to be right, and I won’t be able to fly. I may not like the treatment, but in the long run it’s what I need. I’m either grounded now until we get it healed, or I’ll do more damage and get pulled altogether, probably even lose my commission."
She knew he could have added that she needed treatment to, but at least he was polite enough not to say it in so many words. She had proven without a doubt that everything was not fine with her, and she realized she couldn’t make it that way through simple power of will. It was a sobering thought; nearly as sobering as the thought of being in the military without Lee to lean on.
"Does he know how long until you’ll be better?" she asked softly. It was easier to look at his restriction from duty than hers.
"No," he admitted. "And I’ve probably got it all out of proportion because I can always work CIC, but you know I hate desk work."
"I know," she admitted, giving his hand a squeeze for a change. "But I’m glad they’re going to treat it before it damages your career. Or you, for that matter."
"Salik checked me over pretty thoroughly," Lee told her. "He said that if he couldn’t trust me to be honest about your condition, he couldn’t trust me to be honest about mine. Found out a few things I’d rather he hadn’t, but in the long run it’s better this way. I got chewed out royally for not reporting to him directly after the mission. You can expect that, too. We both know it’s standard procedure to get checked after an away trip."
"I didn’t want to answer the questions," she admitted.
"Well, he knows now. He checked you over pretty thoroughly when he got you down here. I got quite the compliment on my first aid skills," Lee told her with a slight grin. "And then reamed out for not bringing you right back to the Galactica. My dad called me on the same thing. I wasn’t doing either of us any favors by trying to hide the truth."
"I guess not," she said quietly. "I just didn’t want to face any of it. I thought it would just go away if I didn’t think about it."
"Things like that don’t go away," he reminded her. "They just get bigger. I knew that. I knew it when I was doing the exact opposite of what I should have. But at the time I justified it by saying that you wanted it that way, and so I let myself be selfish."
"Selfish?"
"I didn’t want to send you back any more than you wanted to come," he admitted. "I liked thinking that I was enough to make you better. It was my fault you got so pissed off that you went out there, and my fault I was so out-of-it that I didn’t even wake up until you’d been gone for God knows how long. I felt like it was my fault, so I wanted to fix it."
"I thought you said it wasn’t anyone’s fault except that bastard that did it," she reminded him.
"Yeah, well it’s easier to believe that when you’re the one being hard on yourself. You’d been through enough."
"But you were right," she whispered, turning her hand over to grasp his. "Neither one of us is without responsibility, but we’re not guilty either."
"You going to remember that?" he asked her softly.
"I’ll try."
"So, how do you feel about moving back into quarters after this?"
She grimaced, but didn’t answer. She didn’t have to.
"That’s what I thought," he told her with what was almost a full smile. "I’ve got something to ask you, and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. Just don’t tell me ‘no’ unless you think about it first. Promise?"
"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked. "Anything with that big of a buildup can’t be good."
"I want to be selfish again," he admitted, and she could have sworn his cheeks were pinker than they should have been. "But I don’t want you to take this the wrong way."
"Take what? You haven’t said anything."
"It looks like I’m going to be office-bound for the near future," he admitted. "I asked if my dad could arrange an office outside CIC. He’d offered before, with all the CAG stuff and me hating to be in there, but I turned him down because of the space."
"And?"
"And, I decided to take him up on the offer," Lee said simply. "So I’ll be moving out of squadron quarters in the next couple of days. I get to get rid of the top bunk, and maybe even get a bathroom that I don’t have to share with twenty of my closest friends."
She tried not to be jealous. She wasn’t very successful. "What does that have to do with me?"
His head cocked sideways as he reached up to smack her on the arm. "You don’t make anything easy, do you?"
"What?" she asked with a grin, but she thought she had a good idea of where this was going.
"We’ve roomed together before," he reminded her. "I don’t snore, and you don’t hog the bed. If you’re up for it, I’d be happy to share space again."
She thought about that for a moment. "You want me to move in with you?"
"You make it sound wrong," he told her with a furrowed brow.
"I make it sound like it will to everyone we know. I know what you mean, Lee. And you know the flak we took at the academy for bunking together. Here, they know us, and there’s no getting away from what people will say. You’ve heard the whispers just since I’ve spent a couple of mornings down on the bottom with you. It’ll be worse if we take it to a private room."
"Do you care?" he asked gently.
"Hell, I don’t know," she admitted. "It’s all pretty confused for the moment. I’m the one that was a basket case a few hours ago, remember?"
"Yeah," he told her softly. "I remember. And there’s no rush to make the decision. I need the office either way, and I can move out with or without you. Or I can stay put, and just work there. I guess I just wanted you to have the option. It’s worked for us before."
"Maybe I’ll think about it," she offered. "Something tells me I shouldn’t be making any life altering decisions right now."
He grinned at her. "That’s the most sensible thing I’ve heard in a while. The offer isn’t going anywhere, and if you want me close I can stay in your bunk. You’re holding the cards, Kara."
"Gee, thanks," she muttered. But she did feel better. She’d always been good with cards.
"I know you have a lot on your mind, but can I just say something? No strings, and no pressure, but just say something to you?"
"Go ahead," she allowed.
"I care about you," he said simply. He lifted her hand to his lips, and kissed the palm gently. "I guess my world is a little better with you in it. I’m still not exactly how you’re in it," he said with a grin. "But you’re here, and that feels right. And maybe we’ll always just be friends, or maybe something else will happen, but either way I want you to know that I think you’re pretty terrific. No joke, no line, and no strings. I guess I just want to keep you close."
She couldn’t help but smile at the sweet expression on his face. And the best part was that she knew him well enough to know that he was being totally honest. He would let her take this at her own speed, and if or when she caught up he would be there waiting. He always had been.
"You’re pretty special," she said with a smile that bordered on flipping upside down.
He gave a shrug, but kept her hand in his. And after a few minutes of sitting that way, him on the edge of her bed with her hand in his, she scooted over and gave him a little more space. He took the silent invitation, moving onto the bed and putting his legs alongside hers. Shifting carefully, he slipped one arm behind her to hold her close, and she turned to lay her head on his shoulder.
"Nice," he commented softly.
"Very," she agreed.
Kara wasn’t sure how long they lay that way, but it was long enough for her to get warm and drowsy, and for his breathing to get deep and regular. She didn’t think he was sleeping, but it was a near thing.
"Comfortable?" a deep voice asked.
Both of them turned quickly towards that voice. Kara didn’t know what to do with herself. She didn’t know if she should try to scoot away, or just ignore the doctor and relax. Taking her cue from Lee, she did the latter.
"At least you’re getting the weight off that leg," he remarked to Lee as he approached the bed. He walked to the opposite side with his clipboard in hand, then set it on the table that was beside her bed. "How are you feeling?" he asked her simply.
"That seems to be the question of the day," she sighed, laying her head back down on Lee’s shoulder and holding on a little tighter than was probably appropriate. She was in trouble, and she knew it, and it was just a little easier to manage with a friend close by.
"Now how about giving me an answer," he suggested.
"I feel okay," she told him. "A little foolish, and a lot annoyed at being here, but I know I did it to myself."
"Would you care to tell me why you weren’t in my office a week ago? That’s about right, isn’t it? Judging from the healing of the bruises, I’d say this started six to eight days ago, give or take."
"Eight," she replied. "I thought I could handle it. I asked Apollo not to report it."
The doctor spared a glare for Lee, but kept most of his attention focused on her. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?"
"I’m getting an idea," she remarked with more than a little sarcasm. She saw Lee smile at the remark, and then duck his head to hide it. Someone didn’t want to get on the doctor’s bad side after all, she decided.
"Most of the bruising is healed, but much of it was deep tissue, and could have been dangerous. There could have been blood clots, embolisms, or vessel damage of a number of sorts. The cuts healed without infection, or mostly, but many will scar. That wouldn’t have happened if I’d sutured them. And as for the emotional repercussions, I think you realize that you won’t be back on duty until you clear a full psychiatric profile. I’ll have a trauma specialist here by tomorrow."
"Yes, Sir," she said simply.
"No argument?" he asked with raised eyebrows. "You don’t know better than the entire colonial fleet regarding management of this situation?"
"No, Sir," she told him, getting tired of the discussion because she didn’t know what was sarcasm and what wasn’t.
"Well, then you may just have learned something," he granted. "As for tonight, I have two options for you. The first is that you send your Captain here back to bed and stay here to get some sleep. I’d imagine you haven’t had a great deal beyond that which my medication and I insisted upon."
"And the other?" she prompted.
The man sighed, looked over the two of them for a moment and then crossed his arms. "The second option is to have this Captain of yours go find enough of a uniform to get you back to quarters in," he admitted. "And you get some sleep there. Either way, you’ll note that the ‘sleep’ part of the order is not negotiable."
Kara looked at Lee for a moment. "I’ll go back to quarters," she decided. "I’ve got friends there, and if I stay here they’ll worry."
"That you do," Salik told her with a reluctant smile. "I must have had twenty people in my office this morning demanding to know when you’d be back. I told them all to go away."
"Really?" she asked, the genuine confusion in her voice apparent.
"Really," he told her. "So in the interest of getting some order in this place, go ahead and send him for some clothes, and we’ll get you checked out. There is one condition, however," he added changing his focus to Lee.
"Yes, Sir?"
"She is not to be left unattended. You take her out of here, and she’s your responsibility until she reports back tomorrow for evaluation."
Lee smiled down at her. "I can handle that."
"Lieutenant Thrace?"
"Fine by me," she agreed. "Just go get me some clothes."
Chapter 13
Lee set his leg down for the fiftieth time, literally. He looked over at his therapist’s face and noted the approval there. The weights were higher than were comfortable, and his leg was just a bit rubbery, but by no means ready to crumble. It was slow, but it was progress.
"Nice," she confirmed. "How’s it feel?"
He didn’t bother lying to her. There was no point. He had learned in the first few sessions that she could read pain in his eyes with no effort. The damn woman was too good at her job. "Sore," he answered honestly. "But it’s steady."
She nodded and made a note. "Then I guess we’re done," she said simply.
"Good," he replied in relief. "Same time tomorrow?"
"No," she answered. "We’re done. You know the exercises, you’re responsible enough to do them, and I see no reason not to return you to flight status immediately."
Lee sat there in shock. His first thought was that Kara was going to be so excited. His next was that he was thrilled. It had been a damned long three months, and he was sick of being on the Galactica. He needed to fly. "Good," he finally replied, and wondered if she caught the slight catch in his voice. Kara would have, but Kim wasn’t nearly as perceptive with emotion as she was with judging physical limits. At least, he hoped not.
"So, you’re on your own. I’ll be back on board in three weeks, and I’ll do a final exam then to be sure you aren’t overtaxing. I’d recommend limited duty at first, but I don’t think you’d survive it. As it is, if you have any trouble I expect you to report to Doctor Salik immediately."
"Yes, Sir," he told her firmly. "Anything else?"
She shook her head, professional as always. Well, not exactly always. Maybe her hair was a little too long for his taste, and a little too dark. Maybe she wasn’t tall enough and she didn’t keep him laughing, but she was fairly attractive and had been nice to him. Better yet, he’d only had to turn her down once, and that had been reasonably polite as well. She had smiled, nodded, and gone back to ordering exercises. He had a lot of respect for a woman that didn’t take it personally when she wasn’t in the running. He had even more respect for a woman who didn’t bother to ask him why.
Exiting the infirmary, he moved quickly towards his quarters. He’d only been there for about two weeks, and it was still rather unfamiliar. He would keep it though, because it was convenient for both him and Kara to get work done, and it gave them a quiet place to hide-out when necessary.
A part of him had been disappointed when Kara had turned down his offer to let her move in. He had hoped for a return to their days as roommates, when they were comfortable with one another above all else. She had told him it wasn’t personal, but following a couple of visits with her therapist that she needed to get comfortable being with herself again before she tried to be with anyone else. She had seemed so sad at the prospect that he couldn’t hold it against her, and he’d told her the offer would remain open. He had also stayed in quarters, though. He hadn’t felt comfortable leaving her to the squadron, however helpful and concerned they were. She was his responsibility, after all. He had promised Salik that much. He had promised himself the same.
So the last three months had been ones of pain and healing. She had come to him more than once in the evening after either a bad shift or a worse therapy session. She had cried in his arms once or twice, but for the most part she just seemed to need someplace quiet and someone to listen. He had done both.
A lot of what she had told him made sense. Even more of it didn’t, but he still nodded and told her to go on. Her mind was an interesting place, but he didn’t have any illusions that he’d ever understand women. He supposed a part of him occasionally forgot that she was one, so comfortable was she in a man’s world, but the snippets of information gleaned from weeks of therapy had reminded him that their minds were not identical. Things that would have destroyed him didn’t seem to phase her, and things that bothered her seemed to be trivial to him. He never told her that, though. He just listened, and she kept talking.
Once or twice she’d joined him down on her bottom bunk before they’d made the switch back to their original bunks a few of weeks ago. As his leg had regained strength, he had exercised his right to get back up above her and stop bumping his head during midnight bathroom trips. She hadn’t seemed to mind. But she didn’t join him up top, and he didn’t feel it was his place to crowd her down below. So the two of them kept most of their companionship to the daylight hours. He missed her — a lot — but he didn’t remark. The last thing he wanted to do was push her when she needed space. Besides, he had no clue where he even wanted to push her.
Two weeks ago, he had given in to the inevitable and moved out of quarters, reminding her when she helped him carry his stuff down there that she was always welcome, day or night, whether he was there or not. She’d taken him up on the daytime hours at least, managing most of her flight reports from his bunk while he occupied the desk, and taking over the desk on occasion while he caught a nap after a particularly grueling session with Kim. Then last week, she had been cleared to flight status and putting her on that roster without him had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. He was happy for her, yes — without question — but he had been miserable for himself.
It looked like now he could join her on the roster, figuratively if not literally. They were still not supposed to fly together, and he was okay with that. His father had been right about his objectivity where she was concerned, and he was through questioning reasonable suggestions — or orders.
He never locked his office, because there wasn’t anything there to take. This being the case, when he reached it he pushed the hatch open and got a slight surprise as he saw blond hair peeking out from beneath a blanket on his bed, and a small bag of toiletries occupying his desk.
His first thought was to wonder if she was okay. After all, she had made it perfectly clear that she hadn’t planned to move in with him. He had no clue what would bring her here and send her into his bed, but he didn’t think it could be good. Yet a part of him was just glad to have her around, pleased with the comfort that her presence always brought, so he didn’t bother to wake her. He grabbed a clean uniform from his locker, and went into the tiny bathroom that was attached to the room to get rid of the sweat from his therapy session. His last therapy session.
Tiny was an understatement. He could barely turn around in the space between the toilet and the shower stall, which was also reduced in size. No one had ever claimed that facilities on a Battlestar were designed for comfort. Still, it was private and heated up quickly with a minimum of water, so he was able to shower in relative comfort. Once clean, he brushed his teeth more out of habit than necessity, and dressed in the uniform he had hung on the back of the door on his way in. He didn’t bother with a shave. He had done that this morning, and didn’t need a second one.
He was only half surprised to see Kara sitting up in his bed when he returned to the main room which held only a desk, bed, and waste paper can besides it’s requisite built in filing cabinets and lockers. His father had never managed to scrounge up a computer, so most of his work was done on the clipboard and downloaded in CIC. The direct cable hookup was as close to networking as the Galactica would ever have.
"Hey," he said softly as he dried his hair with a towel. "You okay?"
"Fine," she told him with a yawn. "Somebody assigned me on night shift," she said with a grin and a pointed look; they both knew who set the roster. "It was too noisy in quarters, so I grabbed a shower and nap. That’s okay, right?"
He gave her a sideways glance as he threw the towel over his chair to dry. "You have to ask?"
She grinned again. "Just minding my manners. Don’t want to get kicked out."
"Right," he said with rolling eyes as he took a seat next to her on the bed rather than getting his uniform wet against the towel. It was a convenient excuse, but he’d take it. "You don’t have to worry about that anymore. Or night flights, for that matter," he added. "There’s someone on the roster as of tomorrow with less flight time than you."
She furrowed her brow before the implication sunk in. Then she threw her arms around him for a huge hug and a rather girlish squeel. Yes, she was a woman; that was for sure. "You’re back to flying?" she asked hopefully, but her eyes told him she was pretty certain already.
"I’m back," he assured her, putting his arms around her to keep her close for just a minute more. He could almost forget how good this felt in the interim, but once she was in his arms the feeling was nearly addictive.
For her part, Kara didn’t seem inclined to let go. She was warm and soft from her nap, quite the contrast to his own chilled body following the quick shower, and she had wrapped herself around him fairly tightly. Eventually, she pulled her head back to look him in the eyes. Her own were huge, brown, and fairly sparkled. "I’m glad," she said unnecessarily.
He just grinned at her. "I should be able to start back running with you next week," he added, looking for an excuse to keep here there in his arms, even if it was only inane conversation. "My speed is coming up, and I’m lapping the Galactica six times. I should be able to keep up with you if you don’t mind keeping your pace down."
"I’ll manage," she told him with a grin.
He wasn’t sure quite what happened then. Somehow her grin faltered, and yet she didn’t look upset. He became aware of how tightly she was pulled to him and was actually considering loosening his hold when she leaned forward and kissed him.
It wasn’t like their first kiss. There wasn’t very much tentative about it, although it was still gentle, and for the most part chaste. Her lips were warm and slightly damp, and his surprise faded quickly to a pleased acceptance. This was good. This was right. He didn’t deepen the kiss, but neither did he attempt to end it. She had started it, and he’d let her decide how far it would go.
Her arms tightened around his back and he held her securely, just letting her lead and enjoying the journey. It ended long before he was ready, but that was probably a good thing. He didn’t know that he would have ended it at all.
Even after she’d pulled back, a small smile still on her face, she didn’t pull away. She rested her head against his chest, and he could almost feel the smile on her face.
"It’s been a damn good morning," he told her in a matter-of-fact tone, when she didn’t say anything more. "I don’t think it could get much better."
"Me neither," she agreed.
He held her a moment longer, then kissed her on the top of the head and stood up. He was late reporting to CIC with the new roster, and he needed to get himself on it before the download. Then he had to get it past Tigh, which wasn’t always easy. The man took his responsibilities almost too seriously of late. "Flying’s gonna feel good, too," he admitted, glancing back to her as he stepped towards the hatch. When he was one foot out, one foot still in, he fired back, "Almost as good as sex."
He didn’t turn around to see her expression, but her laughter was clear for a good distance down the hallway.
It was three in the morning, and he couldn’t sleep. If anyone had ever told him that he’d be so excited about getting into a Viper that it would keep him up nights, he would have thought them crazy. But that had been before he’d spent over six months out of the cockpit, and the last three of which doubting that he’d ever fly a fighter again.
It had been a long three months in a lot of ways, but he still thought that it had been easier on him than it had been on Kara. There had been times along the way where he hadn’t known if she was going to manage to make it through. There had been other times he was sure she would, but also that he would be left behind in the process. Thankfully, neither had resulted. Kara was finally Kara again, and she was still a good friend.
He had even done her the favor of leaving her off tonight’s roster of routine flights. She had initially asked him for the night schedule, hoping it would give her a little less time around her teammates. It wasn’t that she didn’t like them, but rather that they worried as much as he did.
Sharon had been the one that really surprised him, though. She and Kara had been friends regardless of their differences in age, skill, and assignment. They had played cards, played tricks on the guys, and had also effectively shut him out on more than one occasion, although he didn’t think it had been deliberate. Frankly, with Sharon married and pregnant, he hadn’t thought she would have much time for Kara. The opposite had proven to be true. The two women had become very close in recent months, and he thought that having another woman to talk to was pretty good for her. She hadn’t complained anyway. And if it took time away from when he could be with her, he tried not to notice. After all, she wasn’t his personal property. He didn’t even want her to be. Exactly.
But other women had come forward as well. Apparently, once she had admitted to the attack, it had been the women in the squadron that had become the most protective. He found it interesting. He had always thought of men as the protectors, and women as the weaker sex. Oh, he wouldn’t admit it for the world — and it was a completely outdated concept — but some things were ingrained from being raised by one of the few traditional homey mothers that had survived equality.
The irony was that if Kara had believed it, he would be dead. Thankfully being raised in the same house hadn’t had the same influence on them beyond a love of flying and the closeness of family. Come to think of it, Zak hadn’t been particularly chauvinistic either. Maybe he took after his mother more than Lee had thought. It was odd. When he thought of his mother, it was Zak that usually came to mind because of his careless attitude and ready smile. His mom had possessed those qualities as well. But there seemed to be more of a blend in each of them than was visible at first glance.
His attempt at boring himself sleepy with mental diversion was brought to a halt by a soft knock at the hatch. He almost didn’t get up, thinking it was too soft to be his door, but decided he would check to be sure. While the Battlestar never really slept, knocks at three in the morning were relatively rare.
He kept one blanket around his shoulders in lieu of a robe, and tried to make sure everything was covered. Regardless of the lowered temperature, he’d never really gotten used to sleeping in his uniform, so he tended to do so in his underwear. It wasn’t uncommon in the squadron, but it had certainly proved inconvenient on occasion. The night when Kara had panicked had been a prime example of that.
Opening the hatch carefully, he wondered if it was indeed possible to summon someone by pure thought. Kara stood there, duty uniform about half on and half off, and eyes both red and puffy. He didn’t bother with words. He grabbed one hand, tugged her through the hatch, and quickly closed it behind them. As soon as the room was secure, he wrapped arms and blanket both around her and pulled her close.
And she cried. Her arms slipped around his body at some point, and she held on with all the strength in her well-conditioned body. He absently wondered if he’d have bruises by tomorrow, but he really didn’t care. She cried long and hard, and he held her, and that seemed to help her. Lords, he hoped it was helping her. He had no clue what else to do.
When her sobs quieted somewhat, he eased her over to the bed and sat down. Instead of coming down next to him, she wound up on his lap, and he didn’t complain. He just held tight, coaxed her to put her head down on his shoulder, and cuddled her close. All the while, he wished he had some idea what was going on. He had thought she was past this. He had thought she was better. Yes, she still saw the therapist every week when he was here on the Galactica for visits, but she rarely came from the meetings exhausted and edgy as she first had. Usually she didn’t even remark about them. He tried to remember if she’d had an appointment today, but in his own excitement over being reinstated to flight status, he hadn’t really paid attention.
Even after the tears stopped, he held her. His right leg protested a bit at the new abuse — she was light, but not that light — however he didn’t think it would do any real harm. And it was worth any discomfort just to feel her calming against him. Her body wasn’t as tense now, and her grip was not as tight. Maybe now he could find out what was happening.
"Are you okay?" he asked gently. It seemed like a stupid question, but it was the only place he knew to start.
"Just a nightmare," she said in little more than a whisper. Her voice was hoarse from the crying.
"Do you remember it?
She was silent for a long time, and he thought that maybe he had pushed too far. He didn’t know. He was on very unfamiliar ground. While he’d held her through tears and anger and fear, he had mostly done so in the daylight hours. The only real nightmare he had ever helped her through had been over Zak, and it had been years ago. At the time, he had been as shaken as she was, so any discomfort had been mutual. She hadn’t even had nightmares after the initial attack. Was this even about the attack? Was it about the war? Somehow he didn’t think so.
"Just the fear," she finally answered, but her voice was stronger. "And… isolation. Like I was alone. It was dumb."
"You aren’t alone," he assured her, illustrating the comment with a gentle squeeze.
"I know," she whispered. "That’s why I came here."
"It was easier when I was right above you," he murmured with a gentle kiss to her temple. "But if you don’t mind the walk, I sure don’t mind the company."
She hugged him back, making no move towards either leaving or settling in. She just stayed quietly in his arms, holding tight. "You should be sleeping," she remarked softly. "I’m sorry."
"I was awake," he admitted. "I fly tomorrow. It was on my mind."
"Then you really need to sleep," she said sadly.
"Come here," he suggested, scooting back onto the bed and shifting her off his lap in the same motion. He moved to the back of the bed, and looped an arm around her waist to pull her in tight. She didn’t resist, but went back into his embrace as though she belonged there. He already had one blanket thrown around her from when she’d entered his room, so when he reached back for another he only grabbed one. Tossing it over them, he wrapped both arms firmly about her body and rested his head next to hers. "Better," he finally said. "As long as you don’t mind."
"I was hoping you’d let me stay," she admitted. "I know it sounds stupid, but…."
"There’s nothing stupid about needing someone close after a nightmare. We’ve been there for one another before, and this isn’t really any different. Well, you had a longer walk, but otherwise no difference," he said with an attempt at levity. She was the strongest woman he’d ever known, and it did bother him to see weakness. Not because he saw it as weakness, but because she did. She needed all the confidence in herself that she could manage. He missed the days when she’d been so cocky he wanted to strangle her. "Besides," he finally admitted. "I sleep better with you in my arms. Always have."
"You’ve said that before," she responded softly. "I never could figure it out, though. I mean, I get it for me. Big strong man, and all that. But for you there’s nothing special."
He almost laughed at her, and might have if she hadn’t seemed so fragile at the moment. "There are different kinds of special," he explained. "To me, you’re the best kind. You don’t take any of my shit, and you keep me in my place. And the whole time you make me feel comfortable while you’re doing it. Pretty special if you ask me."
She didn’t respond to that. He could tell by the relaxation of her body that the nightmare was fading, but he didn’t think she was asleep.
"Lee?" she asked softly. If he’d been asleep, the tiny voice wouldn’t have awoken him.
"Hmm?"
"Do you ever wonder…"
"Wonder what?"
"Wonder why we aren’t like everyone else?"
"What do you mean?" He had a feeling this was more than just a passing thought.
"I guess… I just wonder why we’re so close, but not close like that, you know? I don’t know any couples that sleep together that aren’t sleeping together. I don’t know any friends that rely on each other this way. And even married couples don’t know each other like we do. I know, because I’ve talked to Sharon about things, and she and Tyrol are always getting into it because they don’t understand the other. But with us, it’s like we just know."
"We’ve known each other forever," he reminded her. "That has to be part of it."
"Your father and Tigh have known each other just as long, and I’m pretty sure they aren’t in bed together."
"Oh, Lords!" he muttered with a laugh. "Where do you come up with this stuff?"
"Well, you know what I mean," she said with a laugh. "Friends aren’t like that, and they’re friends. And we’re friends. And doesn’t it sometimes seem weird."
"Maybe," he admitted with a small sigh, tugging her even closer and tucking his face in by her hair. She smelled so good when they curled up like this. "But I also know it feels right, and I’m not going to put a limit on what I feel because of what I think other people might say, or think, or whatever. Being with you feels right, whatever the capacity, and I’ll take what I can get. Not much feels right anymore. And maybe there will be more someday, when we’re both ready for it. I don’t know. If you do, let me in on it."
She was silent for a long time, and again Lee wondered if his honesty had been too much. But it had been the truth, and he couldn’t see taking it back.
"You know I love you, right?" she asked in a soft voice.
"Yeah," he admitted. "And you know it’s mutual?"
"Always," she said, and he could hear the smile in her voice. "I just don’t ever want to lose you. Sex has a tendency to mess things up. I don’t ever want us not to feel this comfortable. When the world closes in at three in the morning, I like having somewhere where I know I’m welcome."
"You’ll always be welcome. Just maybe someday you won’t have to walk half the ship to be here."
"Maybe," she agreed. "So the invite is still open?"
"Only for you," he told her honestly. "Always. I’m not going anywhere."
"Thanks. Sorry I’m so slow about this. It isn’t fair."
"Life’s never been fair," he reminded her. "And you’re worth the wait."
As he felt her body relax completely a few minutes later, he knew he wouldn’t be sleeping that night. He had just put pretty much everything on the line. There were no doubts in his mind where he wanted the relationship to go, but he was still unsure about Kara’s place. It didn’t worry him, not really , because they always seemed to wind up in the same place eventually. But gradually he was beginning to wonder how long the wait would be.
Chapter 14
Kara Thrace couldn’t keep the smile off her face. Given the long night filled with deep discussion and life-altering possibilities, that was saying something. She was practically jumping out of her skin as she waited for the end of nothing but a routine fleet patrol. It wasn’t even a major patrol —just Lee and Oscar making a simple check of the fleet for gas leaks and external wear, but she was still going crazy.
This was Lee’s first time in a Viper in over six months, and she couldn’t wait to see his face. A couple of weeks back, she’d had the same experience, and the adrenaline then hadn’t been much lower than what she was feeling for her friend. They were of a kind, the two of them. They needed to fly. If they didn’t, life just didn’t have meaning. It was a cliché, but she couldn’t deny the truth of it.
"How long?" the Commander asked her softly. She almost jumped at the familiar voice.
"He’s on schedule. Ten more minutes."
William Adama smiled. "Has he ever not been on schedule?" he asked wryly.
Kara’s smile widened, if that was possible. He had a point. When it came to flying, Lee was as by-the-book as she was instinctual. She didn’t really mind, though. They complimented one another. She was just disappointed that they wouldn’t be flying together in the future. She had understood the reasons for that even as she had argued with both the Commander and Colonel Tigh, but the end result was the same. Siblings, spouses, and known lovers could not fly as a team. They might one day launch together as part of a squadron, however their days of being one another’s shadows were over.
But Kara wasn’t his sister, although she had grown up that way. And she certainly wasn’t married to him, although they sometimes acted like it. As for lovers, it was kind of hard to argue that fact when they’d been caught in the same bed together by most of her squadron and Lee’s own father.
Kara couldn’t help but wince as she remembered when she’d found out that they had been found out. Now that had been a fun morning. She remembered vividly the morning after she’d brought Lee out of the Life Station following his run-in with a Cylon blaster. They’d both been so damn tired after everything that had happened, from the emotions as well as the physical exertion, that when he had taken her lower bunk as a concession to his injured leg he had simply tugged her in beside him. Well, it had been a little more complicated than that, but not much. The bottom line was that they had curled up in broad daylight in the squadron quarters to catch a much needed nap. Neither had expected to sleep through the day and the night that way.
Likewise, neither could have predicted the eldest Adama coming to check on his son. He wasn’t known for dropping by squadron quarters, instead preferring to let his teams have someplace where they weren’t inherently under command. She supposed she should have considered it, even if Lee hadn’t. When they had awoken, they’d been so closely entwined that even she had been a little embarrassed. The covers had been over them, but his hand had been inside her shirt and around her back, and her knee had been tucked tightly between his legs. She didn’t even remember turning over, but with her head tucked into his neck, they must have made quite a sight. She had realized that much from the few snickers and a couple of jealous looks from the female squad members. That part had been almost fun.
What hadn’t been fun had was that morning when she reported to CIC. She got a couple of weird looks from Tigh — kind of sideways glances that she attributed to his saving her ass — but she hadn’t connected it. She should have. She knew that the Commander told his XO just about everything. It was the kind of friendship they had, and had always had. She could even remember Tigh being at the house when she’d still been in grade school, although even back then she couldn’t imagine the uptight man with the gorgeous wife in the cockpit of a Viper.
So Tigh had been giving her looks — something she wasn’t unaccustomed to — and she had pointedly ignored him. Instead, she had reported to Adama. She had known she was in trouble from the look in his eye as he assigned her to a desk up near Dee. She had thought it was because she was in so much trouble, but as she’d turned to go to the desk he had called her back.
"How’d you sleep, Starbuck?"
If it hadn’t been for the wink, she would have been petrified. As it was, she had blushed crimson in front of all CIC for the first time in history as she stuttered a very quiet, "Fine."
He knew. She had known then, somehow, that he knew. She had called him on it later, not willing to put either of them in the position of discussing it in CIC. She had actually been worried, if the truth were known. Adama was old fashioned in a lot of ways, and she and Lee both had set through about a thousand lectures on "the responsibilities of being an adult" when they’d been getting ready to leave for the academy. Finding his son in bed with any woman outside of marriage — but especially in such an obvious location — had a good chance of damaging the newfound trust that he and Lee were establishing.
"We were just sleeping, Sir," she had explained with her eyes firmly stuck on his collar. "He couldn’t get to the top bunk, and so he was on mine, and…"
"I know."
She had looked up then to meet his eyes, and thankfully they hadn’t been filled with the condemnation she had feared. Instead, he’d looked for all the world like he had been enjoying the joke.
"You know?"
"Well, I figured," he had said with the shrug of a shoulder. "You’re both adults, you know. That doesn’t mean I won’t reserve the right of a father to give both of you a hard time about it."
It was a joke. He’d been joking. Oh Lords, that had been what Tigh was so pointed about in his amused look earlier that morning. Adama must have shared the joke.
"It won’t happen again," she had stammered, still not sure what he was thinking or where she stood.
At that point he had broken into a full-scale smile. "Then just what are your intentions toward my son?" he had asked her just shy of a laugh.
She had been floored, but rather than answering she had joined him in the laughter that the situation seemed to call for.
He had been okay with it, whatever they decided. That had made her feel a little better about letting it happen again. After all, if the commander had given his approval — Lee’s father or not — then how guilty could she be?
"You don’t have to answer that," he had told her as he wiped tears from the laughing fit. "But feel free to answer if you like. It might give an old man some hope."
"We’re friends," she had told him. "For now that’s enough."
He had nodded, and she had tried to convince herself that what had been in his eyes hadn’t been disappointment. That had been just over two years after her losing Zak, and she hadn’t been ready to consider anything else. A part of her was surprised that he was. She had been clueless then what Lee’s feelings might be.
Now she had a clue, and wasn’t sure what to do with the information. He had all but spelled out that he was ready for more than friendship, and she didn’t know just how she felt about that. If she were to get involved with anyone, she couldn’t imagine anyone other than Lee, and that bothered her. After all, she had thought she couldn’t be with anyone except Zak, and as much as he was like his brother, Lee was just as different from him. They shared an innate goodness and affection, but their approaches to life were dead opposite. How could she fall in love with both of them?
Had she fallen in love? She had spent so much time convincing everyone else that they were friends that she wasn’t sure if she might not be trying to convince herself. She had a natural curiosity, of course. He was damn fine to look at, in uniform or out, and a girl had to appreciate that much if nothing else. But she didn’t mind keeping her eyes closed either, because how he felt was even better than how he looked. It was all confusing the hell out of her. How did anyone change their entire perspective on a man after twenty years together? Was it even a good idea to try?
"Viper two-eight-six, I have the ball."
Kara looked up from her thoughts as Lee’s voice came over the speaker. It was the warning that she’d asked Shooter for, and he had obliged. Lee was coming in. This was going to be good.
"Everyone ready?" she called out, the excitement in her voice helping it carry to all areas of the hanger bay. There were a couple dozen nods of assent, and some laughter and verbal agreements as well. There were thirty five people gathered around the lift that would bring their CAG down from the landing bay. She couldn’t wait to see his face.
As much as he tried to avoid it, Lee needed people. It had taken him years to really start to make friends on the Galactica, and truthfully it had been his incapacitation from the injury that had made it a possibility. Before then, he’d been too busy either flying or giving orders to bother to look around him. He had come in at a disadvantage, ranking higher than the other pilots and not having as much time on the Galactica. Add to that his reserved personality and being the Commander’s eldest son, and most of the pilots had nearly hid in fear. It was bad enough to have a new CAG that you didn’t know — Lords knew what he would assign you to if you offended him — but to have that man a spy for the Commander as well? No, he hadn’t been popular.
Thankfully, after so many had risked so much to get him home on no more than Kara’s desperate declarations of his being alive, he had looked around at his people with new eyes. Maybe it was that he had more time when he wasn’t flying. Or maybe he had just finally realized that he couldn’t do it alone. Kara had no idea, but she was thrilled with the folks that had come forward to help out, hang banners, and bring food to celebrate that their CAG was back in the air. They might not understand truly what it had done to Lee to be grounded, but most of them knew that he belonged in the sky. That was something.
The lift slowly descended from the landing bay above with Lee on board. To their right, a second lift was bringing Oscar down as well. He didn’t know about the celebration, but Kara hoped he would figure it out quickly enough. When Lee’s canopy popped, it wasn’t one of the deck gang that climbed up the ladder to take his helmet and collar, but Kara instead. She wanted to see his face when he realized what was happening.
Lee looked a little sweaty, and maybe a little tense as he reached up without really looking to pass his helmet to her. She knew the feeling. Actions that had been second nature were rusty after six months without use, and landing a Viper on a moving flight deck was never a thoughtless act. "How’d it go?" she asked him, pulling his attention up to her.
"Fine," he told her, surprise evident as he realized she was there. "What are you doing here?"
"Checking to make sure you haven’t done any damage to my Viper," she replied with a grin. He just reached up and punched her in the shoulder for that one.
"Thanks for the confidence," he muttered without heat. They knew each other’s versions of humor too well for any offense to be taken on either side.
"Any problems?" she asked as she handed him the clearance clipboard to record final mission findings.
"All’s well," he replied absently, still oblivious to the activity occurring six feet below him.
"Good, so you have a few minutes then?" she asked, her voice trying for an honest concern when what she wanted was to start laughing. He really couldn’t see past the nose on his face some days. He was so tied up with that report that he was clueless. This was more fun than she had planned.
"Sure," he replied absently, tapping keys on the board while she reached for his collar and removed it. "What’s up?"
"Just a minor party," she remarked casually.
It took a moment for the words to register. "Huh?"
"Look around, Stupid," she finally said, her grin slipping through despite her best efforts.
He did. She watched as he finally focused outside the Viper at the quiet but visually impressive display of the entire squadron — flight and deck crews both — gathered in a circle around him. All were at attention, save those holding the makeshift sign that declared, "Welcome Back Apollo."
He didn’t say a word, simply eased himself up in the seat to look around. She kept waiting for the smile that she was that she was sure to come, but it didn’t seem to be able to get past the shock of thirty-five people staring at him expectantly.
"What…" he began, but his voice trailed off. He just stared, and Kara started to get a little worried. She had thought he would be happy with the display of support from his crew, even if it was only his immediate squadron.
"We just wanted to welcome you back," she told him simply, her smile fading somewhat. "Let you know that we’re glad you’re back in the air."
He was still looking stunned, but gradually his glance came back to her. "You did this?" he asked in a voice that was almost solemn.
"Not by myself," she admitted.
He shook his head in disbelief. "Why would they…" he started again, but once more his voice failed. Finally he looked up at Kara, and she could see that his confusion was genuine. "What do I do?"
She paused a moment, and in just that short of a time, her heart melted. He was the Commander’s son. He was in charge of all of them. He was their fearless leader, and yet he had no clue what to do about a normal display of friendship and support. He was more isolated socially than could be believed, for him to be so far on the inside of the command circle. Yes, he could lead, but he had no clue how to join. "You get out of the Viper," she told with a catch in her voice. "And then you say ‘thank you’."
He did as she told him. He got up from the Viper seat, followed her down the ladder, and thanked the crew. If he seemed just a little stiff, and his smile a bit uncertain, then Kara didn’t think that anyone noticed except for her.
Once that initial hurdle was over, the rest of the party went fine. The deck crew was a little quick in gobbling their food before heading to check the Viper, but they didn’t seem to be in fear of Lee, but rather concerned that their jobs get done efficiently. Kara noted the smile on his face as each one shook his hand before leaving the party, and she saw the surprise too. He really hadn’t expected this.
Each person who stepped forward to speak to him seemed to bring the walls down a little further. Within half an hour he looked relaxed, and within an hour he was joking like one of the guys. It was something she hadn’t ever really seen him do before.
Lee had always been above and apart. She knew a lot of it was natural reserve, but even more was a fear that he wouldn’t do exactly the right thing. Growing up as the eldest son of a living legend hadn’t always been easy for him. He had also had the responsibilities of looking out for his mom, his brother, and even her in his father’s frequent absences. He’d been a grown-up far too soon for his own good, and he’d never really learned how to relate. One of the disadvantages to leading was that you always had to keep a certain distance between yourself and those you had to command. Lee had always been a step beyond that; he didn’t really look down on his crew, but he definitely stood above them.
His father was very similar, and yet the reserve was tempered by years of experience in dealing with those under him. William Adama commanded respect yes, but he was not unapproachable. Lee hadn’t learned that fine line. Maybe it was because he didn’t have the age or experience that should have gone with his rank. Maybe it was just that he couldn’t do anything half way. Kara didn’t know for sure, but she did know that today had been a big step towards reaching down to his team. This party had accomplished what two years in crew quarters had not; he was one of them.
For her part, Kara just stood back and watched. He really didn’t need her as a bridge to the crew any longer. She would still have to step in on occasion; she was sure of that. But she didn’t need to hold his hand now to get him to talk to them. She might have helped him with matching names to faces and jobs to men, but she didn’t need to help him now. He was doing just fine.
"This was a good idea."
Kara looked over her shoulder at her Commander. The look of pride on his face hadn’t been any been greater when he’d presented his son with the Gold Cluster. "I think he’s enjoying it," she agreed.
"That, too," Adama said quietly.
"He’ll do fine," she assured him. "They’ve learned to like him pretty well. Ripper was a hard act to follow, and the circumstances weren’t exactly ideal."
"I don’t think they would have given you as hard a time, though," he said thoughtfully. "You’re good with people. There were times I wished that you had the rank to be put above him."
She shook her head at that. "He’s the leader," she said softly.
When she had told his father about her idea for a party, he had been initially reluctant. He didn’t want it to appear that he was showing favoritism to his son. When Kara had explained about his tentative acceptance by the crew, and told him that this might be an opportunity to cement a few friendships, he had consented on the condition that he was allowed to peek in. She supposed he needed to see it for himself.
And he had. Adama had slipped in just before the landing, then had quietly faded into the background. It was quite an accomplishment for a Battlestar Commander. It wasn’t as though he could go unrecognized. But he had hung back specifically so as not to make any of the crew uncomfortable and yet still show his support of his son and the party itself. She really didn’t know how he managed it.
Now he had slipped up behind her and had caught her doing the same thing: watching his son make some friends. She guessed that he had needed to see it as much as she had.
"I need to get back to CIC," he told her quietly. "Will you let him know I was here?"
"No," she said simply. "Let him know yourself. There’s no regulation against you coming to a party just because he’s your son. If it were any other CAG returned to flight status after six months, you would have been the one organizing the party. Don’t turn it into favoritism in reverse."
"In reverse?" he asked with one eyebrow raised.
"You know what I mean," she said as she waved off his argument. "Go tell him you’re happy for him, and then you can go."
The grin on his face was reminiscent of years past when she would suggest something silly in childish innocence. But he wasn’t arguing. In stead, he put one hand on her back, and pushed her before him as he approached his son. Great, now she was feeling more like a buffer for the Commander than for his son. Why was it she put up with the Adamas?
"Sir?" Lee said, his head coming around as he sensed his father’s approach. It was like radar the way they kept track of one another. She wondered if they would ever realize just how alike they were.
"Just wanted to congratulate you," he said softly as he stepped around Kara to shake his son’s hand. "And to tell you I’m more than a little jealous. I’d love to be back in that cockpit some days."
"Thank you," Lee said with a careful smile. "But if you’re asking to go on the roster, I’m going to have to turn you down."
There was laughter at that remark, from the men around them as well as his father. "Enjoy it," he told Lee gently. "There’s nothing like flying."
"I know," Lee answered. "I will."
Adama nodded and looked like he was ready to leave. Kara wanted to punch the both of them. To hell with the crew and appearances and every other damn thing; this had gotten ridiculous. She rolled her eyes, and not so casually gave her Commander a gentle push. It wouldn’t occur to her until much later that she was one of the few people who could get away with it. But she did, and when he looked back at her with a question on his face, she gave a general little gesture towards Lee and glared.
A few men around them laughed at the obvious hint, but the eldest Adama got the message. He took one step forward and put an arm around his son’s shoulders, giving a quick, hard hug. "I’m proud of you," he said very softly, and then released Lee and left the bay with a dignity that was impossible to fake. This was his ship. He had nothing to apologize for. Kara’s eyes stayed on Lee however, as he swallowed a few times with more effort than might have been necessary.
The crew, bless them, didn’t even blink at the rare display of masculine affection from their Commander. They simply turned back to Lee and continued their conversations as though the interruption hadn’t occurred. Kara kept her place there with the group, listening without really interacting, and just enjoying when Lee did.
The party went on until Lee threatened to fall asleep on his feet. Then he worked beside them to clean up the mess and return the borrowed tables to their correct storage location. After that the two of them worked to return the bay to its previous immaculate condition. Cally finally came in to run them off, telling them that she’d never get any order if they didn’t just go away. With a good deal of laughter, they did.
Kara knew she should head back to quarters. She was flying in a few hours, and if she wanted any rest before then she needed to get to it. But there was something peaceful about Lee’s mood that she didn’t want to disrupt, so she stayed beside him as they walked past pilot’s quarters to his office. He ushered her before him, and she stepped in just before he did so, then closed the hatch behind them.
"Thanks," he said simply, slipping his arms around her from behind and setting his chin on top of her head. "That was nice."
"It was," she admitted softly. "You looked like you had a good time. I know the team did."
"They’re a good group."
"I know," she told him. "I think they do too. It wouldn’t hurt to tell them occasionally, though."
"Point taken," he agreed. But he didn’t let her go, and he didn’t turn her around. She wasn’t sure what he was up to.
"You still awake up there?" she asked as she ducked her head to turn in his arms. He let her, giving her a soft smile that showed the same relief she’d felt when she’d made her first flight. It was a relief almost as deep as what she was feeling now.
"I’m fine."
"You’re one of them now, you know," she said softly. "But then, it’s about time. You can’t lead from the outside."
"I’m learning that," he said. "But change is hard."
She grinned. She knew that well. "Change may be hard," she said very softly, moving up on her toes to bring her eyes level with his. "But it’s inevitable." And with that said, she kissed him.
His arms came around her and he kissed her back, and this time there wasn’t anything gentle about it. He wasn’t rough, but there was an urgency there that she hadn’t felt before. Perhaps it was a remnant of the exertion of flight, or just the relief of being accepted by his peers, but Lee was definitely not holding anything back. Kara found that she didn’t mind. After all, one could not combat inevitable changes.
The end J