Word Count: 7,093
Date: 7/11/05
Series: Alternate Universe
Rating: K+
Category: Relationship
Pairing/Focus: Adama/Roslin, Cain
Warnings: none
Summary: Third part of the My Angel timeline.
Spoilers/Disclaimers: Up to and including Pegasus plus
speculation;
Laura Roslin looked furious, and when she was furious wise men gave her a wide berth. Unfortunately William Adama was not in the position to just leave, on Colonial one the President set the ground rules. He was in no position to challenge that authority, particularly not after his own recent actions of near mutiny. It had been a hard call to make-to take the offensive against a senior officer was totally outside the code of honour he normally lived by. Mind you, he was beginning to make a habit of it-gods only knew what the junior officers made of all this. But at the end of the day he could not allow two men to be put to death without a fair trial. Had he not had so many mixed feelings about the cause of the problem, he would have acted sooner, but a part of him was torn. One part of him kept repeating "it is a cylon, not human, it doesn't deserve to be treated in the same way as a human prisoner." But he couldn't overcome the feeling that if he let it be treated with such indescribable cruelty, he would have lost sight of his own humanity, which made him no better that it. In the end loyalty to his men and the right to justice had won over all other concerns. He had launched an attack. Just where that might have all ended was debatable; fortunately he had been spared having to find out. Roslin had stepped in with the support of the rest of the fleet to also demand justice. All the other armed ships had closed in on the Pegasus and surrounded it. Cain was no fool, the Pegasus could probably out gun the Galactica but she couldn't take on the combined forces of the Fleet as well. Not if she wished to remain a part of it. It had been a strange experience hearing Zarak demanding that Helo and the Chief be handed over to the Quorum and held in custody until a full trial could be convened. He had never expected to see the day when the two of them would be on the same side in a fight.
End result his men were being held safely at the moment on the Astral Queen, or at least as safe as anyone could be in Zarak's custody! And he was standing here listening to Laura ranting about Cain. He guessed he should be grateful for small mercies-he could have easily been her chosen target!
"But she is putting the fleet at risk" Laura said in fury. "Yes, quite possibly." Adama sounded frustrated. "The why don't you stop her?" Laura was getting more and more exasperated with him, surely if he could see that they couldn't just let this happen
"Laura, she is the Admiral, I am just a Commander. She out ranks me, so what she says goes, no matter what I think about it unless she breaks the military code as she did with my men." Bill was getting annoyed himself now. Did she still not understand? He would stop her if he could, but it wasn't his choice to make any longer and he couldn't break the rules unless he felt he had evidence that the person in charge was dangerous. His actions in leading an attack on the Pegasus were just this side of legal, Cain had crossed the line over the trial as far as the Military code was concerned and she knew it. If she tried to take action against him for that, she could find herself with a full revolt from all military personnel. Plus she gave him the right to oppose her, which he knew she was reluctant to do. Whatever her faults, Cain was a good military tactician, she would bide her time and then extract her revenge on him personally. So far Cain had not crossed the line where the Fleet was concerned; she would not want another confrontation so soon.
"So? There must be something you can do to influence her." Laura wanted to hit him with something, or scream at him, anything to get him to take some action.
"What do you want me to do? Lead another rebellion?" Bill was beginning to feel really irritated, why wouldn't she understand his position?
"Well it wouldn't be the first time." Laura was getting a distinct sensation of de ja vu. It had been a while since they had become involved in such a bad disagreement. Since Kobal they had managed to get away with only the odd minor skirmish.
"Oh yeah, and look how that ended up." Bill couldn't help his sarcasm; Laura just wasn't listening to him.
She matched sarcasm for sarcasm "Oh yes, pardon me for forgetting. I end up in the brig so often it must have slipped my mind, and of course this is different -she's military, not a drug crazed teacher."
"Laura!"
Laura had to admit she'd gone a bit too far with that remark. She did understand what he was trying to tell her, he was military, breaking the chain of command was not something a patriot like him could do lightly, and for the moment Cain had not crossed the line; but she was convinced it was only a matter of time until she did. Bill knew that just as well as she did.
"I'm sorry," she said reluctantly. "But I can't see why you won't try to stop her."
Bill took a deep breath and tried again. "Laura, she is the military leader now. When you are in the military you are trained to obey orders, whether or not you think they are wise. If she were breaking military procedures, I could challenger her.but she is not." He held up his hand to silence her protect before she spoke. "Hear me out, okay?"
Laura nodded reluctantly.
"Cain is going by the book here; trouble is the book no longer applies. Under normal war circumstances the first duty of the military is to defeat the enemy, but as you pointed out to me at Ragnor, we no longer have the luxury of thinking just as military. We are the only defence for what is left of humanity. Their safety has to take precedence over everything else; unfortunately Cain is not taking that into account. However, it doesn't give me the right to try to lead a coupe; we cannot afford to set that precedent, because next time it could be Tyroll who does it to me if he doesn't agree with my decision over something in engineering. Some rules have to say for the safety of all. If you think I am exaggerating, just look at Lee. The men are still wary around him after the business with Tigh."
Laura sighed, unfortunately much as she hated to admit it, he had a point. She knew just how hard Captain Apollo was finding it to re- establish his authority, it would be ten times worse if it was his father-the repercussions for the fleet would be deadly.
This left them with a big problem. There just had to be a way around this.
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She said as much to Billy when they met later to go over reports. She was still steaming over their helplessness. Oh she could try ordering Cain not to go ahead, but the agreement the Quorum had made after the martial law incident gave the military leader autonomy over strictly military decisions-- added to which, if Cain's attitude towards taking her phone calls was anything to go by, she would be wasting her breath as she would just be ignored. Yes, the quorum could challenge the decision, but she had the feeling that by the time she had convinced them of the risk, assuming she could, the very situation she and Adama wanted to avoid would happen anyway. If they didn't leave the area soon, the cylons would find them and the decision on whether to engage or not would become mute.
No, she needed a faster solution. "I suppose I could ask Commander Adama to testify to the Quorum," she mused aloud.
"I don't think that would be wise," Billy said quickly, looking very worried.
Laura was puzzled." Why, do you think he would lie to the quorum?" She was bemused; she had been under the impression that Billy rated Adama highly because of his frequent defence of the commander.
"No, Madam President," Billy said tensely, "I know he wouldn't-- I was thinking of afterwards actually."
"What do you mean? That it might make it difficult for him to work with Cain? I can't see that would change much, they don't exactly see eye to eye now."
"Admiral Cain is not the Commander," Billy said carefully.
Laura gave him a look; she knew that!
"What I mean is, the Commander would deal with the situation with fairness, but Admiral Cain would go by the book," Billy clarified- though obviously not enough, as Laura was still looking at him for an explanation
"Well, Dee says," Billy flushed when he realised what he had just revealed. Laura just nodded, she had guessed the source of his recent displays of military knowledge."If the Commander crossed her repeatedly she would simply demote him for insubordination and put one of her people in his place," he finished hastily.
"She can't do that!" Laura's protest was instinctive. The woman had no right to do that to Bill; he had earned his command through years of experience and proved his right to it over the last few months.
"Yes, she can," Billy said firmly, the President needed to understand exactly what was at stake here; he had grown to like and respect the Commander a great deal over the last few months. Plus he was very popular in the fleet, if Cain took that step he could see there being a lot of anger, and not just from the Galactica crew, but from the population in general. Both the President and the Commander had become icons, symbols of hope for the future. Whilst they were not gods, they were certainly the human incarnation of them to many people. They trusted the two of them to bring everyone home. Truth was, he felt the same way himself, as he had told Roslin on Kobal he did not believe in gods, but he believed in the two of them.
"Well that's not right, surely he can appeal against such unfair action," Laura protested.
"Yes he can appeal, to the military hierarchy..which is Admiral Cain," Billy said ruefully.
"And I suppose no one has the right to demote Admiral Cain then." Laura was getting even angrier, this was all so wrong.
"Well, I suppose you do," Billy said after some thought. "As supreme Commander, the President is actually the commander in chief of the military; it's why the President always attends the high ranking promotions to confer the honour."
"Of course." A feral smile crossed Laura's face, she had hadn't thought of that, because she had effectively ceded that right when she had made her deal with Adama in the beginning. But Cain wasn't Adama..and she had just had an idea..it was not only a way to solve the current situation, but it righted a wrong that had been irritating her ever since Cain's arrival. "Billy, I want you to summon a full assembly in a four hours time for a presidential broadcast, and I will need Admiral Cain, Commander Adama, and the senior crew members of the Pegasus and Galactica present, plus the press and the events need to be relayed to all the ships in the fleet," Laura ordered.
Billy was concerned. What was the president up to? Surely she wasn't planning on demoting the Admiral just to get her own way; the military, including Commander Adama, would never accept that, and the last thing they all needed was another war between the military and civilian powers-- the press would have a field day.
"Madam President.." He started to point out the problems, but Laura wasn't listening. "Four hours Billy. Oh, and ask Colonel Tigh to come and see me at once, and I need to see the Quorum members before the broadcast.," Laura said over her shoulder as she left the room, she had some preparations to do now.
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The room was buzzing, everyone was curious about what the President wished to address them about. Tigh looked concerned but resigned, he understood some of what she intended to do; the only people she had taken into her confidence were the Quorum members just before the briefing. Talking to the Quorum had been very much a political move, she did not need their agreement, but their approval would add weight to her actions in the event of public disagreement. She had deliberately spoken to them directly before the broadcast to avoid the news leaking and leading to protests before her actions could become a fete accompli..as it happened she need not have worried, The Quorum was universally in support.
Bill was puzzled about what was going on; normally Roslin would have pre-briefed him about her planned announcement, but this time she had been mysteriously silent. He supposed he better get used to it now he was no longer in charge of the fleet. Cain would be the one receiving the in-depth discussions with the President, something else he would have to accept. He wasn't sure which aspect of the situation he disliked most, the loss of rank or the loss of time with Laura. He knew she had spoken to Tigh for some advice on military protocol.
He had deemed it necessary that Lee concentrate on his position as CAG for a while with no distractions. While he accepted the reasons behind what had happened, it was necessary both from a military and professional aspect that Lee be less torn. Lee had been left with a lot of personal conflict caused by his loyalty to Roslin conflicting with his personal views and needs. Leaving his father`s side when he had been so ill had clearly left its mark. Bill had been told about his emotional distress at being parted from his father when he had first been shot, and his subsequent haunting of sickbay once he was on parole. He had been aware enough to have a vague memory of the visit to med lab just before Lee and Roslin went AWOL, and Roslin had admitted that it was purely ideology, rather than support for her position, that had kept him by her side. Nevertheless, his actions had been totally against protocol. It had left a foul taste in the mouths of some of the more rigid officers in the crew, plus set a bad example for the more impressionable members. It was necessary that an example be set, and for Lee to re- establish his authority as CAG. Roslin had reluctantly agreed. Rather than force an officer of his choice on her, Adama had offered Tigh's services as advisor pro tem, whilst she selected someone more suited to her; his only restriction was that her choice could not include Starbuck.
Neither Tigh nor Roslin were comfortable working together; however, both could see the logic, by offering and accepting his second in command and strong supporter to the role Adama sent out a message of obvious support for her position..by accepting she gave the impression of unity between the two of them. So far, they had managed to not to actually kill each other, but it was a close run thing.
Tigh, had spoken to him briefly on his return to Galactica, whilst he would never break the President`s confidence, friendship had clearly led him to try to give a warning. Personally, Adama expected that her actions would include acknowledgement of Cain's position. It was not something she was happy about, but she had learned to be pragmatic when it came to the needs of the fleet.. her decision to make Balter Vice President demonstrated that.
He sighed, the old saying that politics lead to strange bedfellows was certainly true. No way could he imagine Laura tolerating too much of Balter's company, given a choice. The man was brilliant but erratic, and he seemed to spend half his time staring into space, which was distracting to say the least when one was talking to him.
Cain stood next to him in the line up; he could almost feel the self- confidence radiating from her. In all the years he had known her, he could not remember a time when she had displayed anything but supreme confidence in her own abilities. He had always found that a bit intimidating, as he had never achieved that kind of personal confidence in all his years' service. He tried to avoid second guessing himself; when a decision was made he lived by it, but he always liked to hear other suggestions before making that decision. He always felt that others might have better ideas than his own to offer. Yes, he enjoyed being the one to make the ultimate decision, though perhaps enjoy was not quite the right word..he had appreciated it, when he had reached a rank where the final say in his particular world was his. He wasn't so sure about being the ultimate military power--that was not a role he had ever looked for, fate had thrust it upon him and he had made the best of things. All of which was now mute, Cain was the senior officer; it was now her responsibility. He was still having trouble accepting the change.
There was a stirring as Roslin arrived, flanked by the 12 members of the Quorum; clearly whatever decision she had made was with their full support.
Laura started speaking to the assembled forum:
"We are gathered here today to celebrate the arrival of the Battlestar Pegasus and her crew to join our fleet. We thank the lords of Kobal for their safe return and commend Admiral Cain for her leadership skills in their hour of need, which made this return possible.
The time has now come for the President of the Colonies to make an appointment to fill the post of Rear Admiral of the Fleet, the ultimate military officer in the colonies. The person who fills this role is, by tradition, charged with complete control of all military operational personal and equipment in the colonies. It is their foremost responsibility to ensure the safety of the people they are appointed to serve and protect."
"Clever" thought Bill, "very clever," Laura was making clear the role and responsibilities of the post of Rear Admiral. When Cain accepted the role, she would be effectively accepting those responsibilities too. Those duties would effectively supersede her military oath, He really hoped it would work, but he had his doubts, Cain was rather rigid in her viewpoints.
Billy was resigned to the change of command, personally he wanted a miracle-the Admiral to turn down the role. He infinitely preferred the Commander. He trusted him, a feeling he knew he shared with most of the fleet. The little he had managed to gleam about Cain did not inspire trust. He could see stormy waters ahead for everyone.
Roslin was winding up her speech: "The person I have chosen has experience and commitment to our fight. I pledge my complete support to them in their new office as does the Quorum of Twelve. So ladies and gentlemen, I ask you to offer a warm welcome to the new Rear Admiral of the Fleet-William Adama."
There was a moment of stunned silence, no one had seen this coming- then a rousing cheer broke out led by Tigh and Starbuck, for once in complete accord. The crowd quickly joined in. Billy was grinning from ear to ear. The Quorum members were smiling too, they had experienced military rule under Adama, and briefly under Tigh...They knew which they preferred for the long haul. Cain's actions in refusing them access to food and supplies regardless of the obvious need had not endeared her to them.
Bill looked pole axed; it was the last thing he had expected when he came here today. Cain's smug smile had turn to sheer fury before being masked as she became aware of the over whelming approval of the populace to the appointments-idiots! They had obviously been brain washed by that school teacher.
Bill slow approached the rostrum to shake Roslin's hand, He had never dreamed she might do this-he had his command back. A part of him didn't know whether to be pleased or horrified by the outcome. He looked into Laura's eyes-the message there was clear, this is my gift to you, I have faith in you to take care of Our Fleet.
The cheering reached a crescendo as the Ex Commander, now Rear Admiral of the Fleet took the stand. No one on any of the ships was left in any doubt as to the popularity of the choice. Bill Adama had his faults, but he was their commander-they trusted him to lead them home.
Bill felt humbled at the amount of support he was being shown. He looked over at Cain, although she was masking her feelings well-he knew there would be trouble there later, Cain was not one to take a virtual demotion without a fight.
.His supposition was proved correct when Cain made a point of collaring him before he left the deck "I see you are still using your ability to charm woman to gain promotions that you don't deserve." Her opening remark left him speechless for a few moments. He hadn't been aware that she had researched his past, but then knowing Cain's personality; he should have guessed. He was sure she had files on most of the ranking officers stashed on her computer, just in case she felt she needed a little "leverage" with them.
"I beg your pardon?" Bill tried to stall for time while he gathered his thoughts after her broadside. He didn't think Laura was the kind of person to let emotions cloud her judgement, at least not when it came to matters relating to the Fleet. But they hadn't discussed this and the timing was rather suspicious.
"Oh come on Bill, do I look like an idiot?" Cain was fuming, "It was obvious from the outset that you and that teacher have more than a professional relationship with each other."
"The President," Bill said, emphasising Laura's title, "and I have learned to work together through difficult times." He wasn't prepared to give Cain an inch after that crack. Laura was worth ten Cain's. Besides, he was well aware that Cain would pounce on any weakness she could find and use it to her own advantage; Nelena Cain's reputation for ruthlessness was well earned.
"Yeah right, and she looks distraught at someone replacing her janitor--I think not." Cain wasn't about to let this go. It was bad enough having to deal with a jumped up school teacher as the President, there was no way she was going to accept a virtual demotion at her hands without a fight.
"No, I only look distraught when I see an injustice being done," Laura had approached two combatants without either of them noticing. She had decided to buy into the discussion before it attracted any more public attention.
Adama and Cain turned towards her. Laura could see that Cain was full of self righteous fury, while Bill looked concerned-his eyes were a bit uncertain. Something she would need to investigate later in private. Whatever her personal feelings about the two antagonists, she was crystal clear in her vision of who the Fleet needed as military leader. She was pretty sure if their roles had been reversed and Cain had been the Commander she had met at Ragnor, the fleet would still be there, dying inch by inch from the radiation levels, or cut to pieces by the cylon fleet if they attempted to leave. In the brief time she had known her, Cain had made it obvious that she had little time for the civilians around her. As far as she was concerned, they were at war and her prime responsibility was to destroy as many cylons as possible, or get killed in the process. Unlike Adama, she would never have been able to put that to one side in order to see the larger picture. There was no way she would entrust the fleet to Cain, especially when she probably wouldn't be around for much longer to protect them herself.
Cain drew herself to full attention. "Do you really expect me to believe there is nothing more than a professional relationship between you and Comman.I mean Admiral Adama?" Cain asked sarcastically.
"Admiral Cain, I can promise you that there is not, nor has there ever been anything between myself and Admiral Adama that is outside the professional code of conduct," Laura said emphatically, she knew she was being economical with the truth, but it was not an outright lie and she hoped Cain would not pick up on her more obvious omission. She caught the hurt look, quickly masked in Bill's eyes-damn, she was obviously convincing him too-but that would also have to wait until later, she could not afford to show weakness now.
Cain was obviously not totally convinced, but lacking any evidence to the contrary, she let it drop-for now. "Madam President, Congratulations Admiral," she turned sharply on her heel and left the room.
The tension between the two people she left behind was high. "Admiral Adama." Laura turned to Bill, careful to keep her expression neutral, they were still on public display, and she could not afford to relax her guard yet.
"Madam President." Bill's response was totally professional.
"We were interrupted earlier-I think we still have a few matters left to complete." Laura thought it better to keep the conversation brief.
Bill was bemused; Laura couldn't be referring to what he thought she was. She had just made it categorically clear that there was not to be anything personal between the two of them. Not that he blamed her, much as it hurt, he was well aware that her first priority had to be to the Fleet. Yet he couldn't for the life of him remember any other discussion between then that had been left unfinished.
He decided to play along, and work it out it later. "You wish to reconvene our meeting?" he asked politely.
Laura was well aware of his puzzlement, part of her wanted to reassure him at once, but now just wasn't the time or the place. "Shall we say 20.00 hours in your quarters?"
"As you wish." Bill was still puzzled about where this was leading, but he had a few questions of his own that needed answering before they went much further. Like why exactly Laura had chosen to make him Rear Admiral of the fleet.
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Laura had noticed that Bill seemed rather quiet and pensive when she arrived at his quarters later, which was odd as she would have expected him to be pleased over his promotion, as it put things back on their rightful footing. As Rear Admiral of the fleet, he had the right to dictate military policy -even Cain could not argue with that..much as she would obviously love to. Admittedly, Cain was reluctant to accept her own authority to make the appointment, but when faced with the combined forces of both the Galactica crew, the civilian government and the obvious approval of the other ships, she had been forced to concede and accept the inevitable. Well at least for the moment, Laura was sure their problems were far from over, as she was well aware that Cain barely accepted her own role as President. She would definitely need careful watching in the future.
She decided she'd had enough of Bill's brooding; they were wasting time that she had other, much more pleasurable plans for.
"Okay, out with it," she said, with a grin, well aware the possible double entendre to her statement.
"Pardon?" Bill still seemed miles away.
"I said what is the problem?" Laura spaced her words out carefully making it clear that she felt he being deliberately obtuse.
Bill drew in a deep breath and steeled himself to face the worst. "I take it from your words that you no longer have any interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with me."
Although his words were in the form of a question they came out like a statement.
Laura was a bit surprised she at that "I never said that," she protested.
"But you just told Cain that we did not have that kind of relationship." Bill was quite certain about what he had heard. It had hurt him, even if he could understand that for her, the needs of the fleet always had to come first.
"Yes I did," Laura confirmed, beginning to realize what the problem was, and decided that a little gentle teasing was in order.
"So you don't want a relationship with me." Bill was getting strange vibes from Laura; her words said one thing..but the look in her eyes said something else entirely.
"Yes." Laura just smiled enigmatically at him.
"Okay, so is that yes you don't or yes you do?" Bill was beginning to realize he was being teased by an expert.
"Are you trying to pin me down here Commander?" Laura asked archly.
Bill grinned, now there was a thought... "No, just seeking clarification for future reference" Two could play this game.
"Indeed." Laura was enjoying herself -he really was a wonderful sparing partner.
"Well, which is it?" Bill moved in closer to her for the kill.
"You are rather an impatient man, aren't you Admiral?" Laura wondered just how much further she needed to go before he took matters into his own hands, gods knows she was sending out enough signals .She sat down on the chair and crossed her legs deliberately, knowing her skirt would ride up..and if that didn't register, she gave up!
Bill moved closer and leaned over putting his hands on the chair arms "Oh I think I have been remarkably patient considering what I would rather be doing to you right now."
Enough of games, Laura was reaching her breaking point.all she wanted to do was reach up and pull him down into a hungry kiss. She had waited long enough for this moment to arrive. "Yes, I do."
"You do?" Bill was losing track of the conversation, this close to Laura all he wanted was to close in for the kill, but self preservation made him push for his answer.
"You really want it spelled out for you, don't you?" Laura was finding his vulnerability touching. It was strangely compelling to think that she could make this strong man so vulnerable and needy.
"Just making sure there are no misunderstandings later." By now Bill was convinced of her answer, but he wanted to hear the words.
"Yes I want to explore a relationship with you." Laura willingly gave him his answer, he was so close now...
"So why did you lie to Admiral Cain?" Bill pulled back slightly, he wasn't too happy about this.
"I didn't," Laura said firmly.
Bill straightened and walked across the room. "Pardon me, but I distinctly heard you tell her.."
This was getting out of hand, she needed to do some urgent damage control or else they would end up having a fight, which was the last thing she wanted. Laura stood up and followed him "What you heard me tell her was that I was not involved with you romantically, which I am not-you haven't even kissed me yet."
"Mmm." Bill could accept that.
"I just failed to mention that I planned to be very soon."
Bill grinned-he loved it! "That is sneaky and devious, Madam President,. worthy of the good Admiral herself."
"Oh, definitely" Laura smirked. "Any objections Admiral?" she asked pointedly.
"Not a one." Bill pulled Laura into his arms. The time for business was definitely over.
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Later that evening, when they were lying contentedly in each others`arms, Bill couldn't resist asking the question that had been bothering him earlier.
"Was she right?"
"H'mmmm?" Laura really wasn't thinking politics at the moment; she was much more interested in other matters closer to hand.
"Did you appoint me because of your personal feelings?"
"No." Laura pulled away abruptly to look him in the eyes, she wanted no mistake about this. It was too important for their future working relationship. "It was the President who appointed the Commander to the role. The fleet needs someone in charge of the military who puts the Fleets needs ahead of all else. You and I may not always agree about the how, or why of things but I have never doubted your commitment to the fleet as a whole. I knew it from the moment you chose to lead us from Ragnor and I have never truly doubted it since. You have earned your place as leader. "Admiral Cain, on the other hand may have had the rank, but it's been clear since the moment of her arrival that her only priority is military force. Her regard for human life is minimal and her regard for humanity as a whole seems to have been lost somewhere in her journey if everything I am hearing about the actions of her crew is accurate. "I cannot leave the fleet exposed to someone like her, not if there is a way I can change things. I will not always be here to lead the fight myself; I want someone to be in a position to do that, who I know I can trust. That someone is you, regardless of what our personal relationship to each other is or is not," she finished emphatically.
"I believe you." Bill was touched by her sincerity; he knew she meant every word she had said. It made him feel humble, that this beautiful woman, who he loved so much cleared trusted him to this extent. He knew just how passionately she took her responsibility to the Fleet. He gently pulled her back against his body, tenderly rubbing her back.
Lying there, wrapped in Bill's strong arms Laura had never felt so content. It might only be a fleeting moment, but it meant more to her than any other romantic relationship she'd ever had. It seemed so ironic that in a lifetime spend searching, she should finally find the only man she could ever consider spending the rest of her life with-at a time when the rest of her was measured in days and weeks. It seemed so unfair, but then when had her life ever been fair. Looking back, it seemed as though whenever something good happened to her it was balanced by something equally as bad. But she refused to waste the time they had with useless regrets. She intended to savour every moment they had together. Just as Anne had.
"Did Anne have any other visions?" Laura wondered out loud.
"Pardon?" Bill wasn't really concentrating on what Laura was saying; he was too busy enjoying the feeling of her body resting against his. He could get seriously addicted to this.
"I said, did Anne have any other relevant visions," Laura repeated with a grin, she had a pretty good idea where his mind had been-not that she was objecting, far from it.
"Yes there was one that I didn't tell you about, but it would have to be some what in the future," Bill said cagily.
"And-- don't tell me. Let me guess-- you become a god in this one?" Laura asked teasingly, made curious by his expression. She suddenly realised that the vision could be of a very personal nature, and a faint blush stole over her face. "Oh sorry, was it private?"
Bill grin at her confusion, he was tempted to tease her further, but he decided to take pity on her. "She had a vision of me as an old man." he said with a smile, trying to decide how much to tell her.
"Okay..so are we talking about now, then?" Laura asked, hiding her smirk against his chest.
"Thanks a bunch." Bill tried hard to pretend he was offended, but he was much too content to rise to the bait.
"Sorry," Laura said, clearly unrepentant.
"I was surrounded by my wife and grandchildren at the time-so unless Lee has something to confess, then we have to be talking in the future," Bill continued.
Laura felt an unexpected stab in the region of her heart, although she had accepted that she and Bill had no long term future together, she hadn't thought about another woman replacing her and sharing his life. It hurt, even though it was totally illogical and unfair. He deserved so much more than a few brief moments with her.
"You deserve it," she said finally pushing away her unworthy thoughts; it was after all nothing but the truth.
"I won't argue with that," Bill said slightly smugly, trying to get a rise out of her and lift the tension he had suddenly felt radiating from her.
"Bighead," Laura said in an attempt at repartee, though she was still troubled by her own reactions. She knew she was in love with Bill; they wouldn't be here together if she wasn't, but her reaction suggested a depth of feeling that scared her slightly. She had always tried to avoid getting too involved, and this was definitely not the right time to change her mind about it.
"Seriously though, there is one problem with that vision," Bill said gently.
"Only one? I think Lee might find a few more." Laura knew he had sensed her reaction, even if he wasn't quite sure what was troubling her, and she tried to lighten the mood and distract him.
"Well it's quite a major obstacle that's going to take some fixing," Bill said seriously.
"You and Lee? But I thought you were getting on better now?" Laura was well aware that the two had a pretty rocky relationship at times, but she had thought Kobal had made up some ground for the two of them.
"We are," Bill confirmed her assumption. "No, the problem is you."
"Me?" Laura was perturbed, did he mean that his relationship with her was preventing him finding someone else-surely he wasn't regretting being with her so soon, she'd thought what they had shared was so special, but maybe it wasn't the same for him. She started to pull away .. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise I was getting in your way."
"Laura, you could never be in my way." Bill tightened his arms to prevent her pulling away. "Don't you know how much I care for you?" he asked, puzzled by her obvious distress.
"Then why am I a problem to your future with this other woman?" Laura was starting to get angry and she was close to tears, this whole conversation was extremely painful for her, confirming her worst fears as it did - it was much too late now, she loved Bill Adama far more than she had realised.
"What other woman?" Bill was getting frustrated, he could feel Laura's deepening distress, but he genuinely didn't know what was causing it, or what she meant about another woman- what woman?
"The one in Anne's dream" Laura snapped, if this was his idea of teasing her he was way off base.
Enlightenment finally dawned on Bill.
"Laura, there is no other woman in my life, nor do I ever want there to be one. The only person the woman in Anne's vision could be is you. Do you honestly not know just how much I love you?" he asked passionately. "You are the only woman I would ever marry-if you would have me."
"Oh, I would have you," Laura said as her tears fell freely, his words had stunned her-she had never wanted marriage, she had always been afraid of deep feelings and commitment. But she knew that, if circumstances were different, she would gladly share her life with this complicated, difficult man. He completed her in a way she had never hoped to find. "But you know that it just can't be."
"And therein lies the problem," Bill said gently, as he pulled her close again, deeply touched by the instant acknowledgement of her feelings for him. "We merely have to find the way to make it possible."
"Bill," Laura protested, this was madness, they both knew the situation only too well.
"No, don't say it." He gently put his finger to her lips to silence her words. "I won't accept that there is not a way for you to live, not now. You are the one who helped to convince me that the visions guide us to the path the gods intend us to follow. For you and I to find each other in this life, is something of a miracle. I am certain now that Anne had her visions for a reason too-I will not give up on you and me. Anne changed the man I was and set me on the path to the place where I would meet you. She made me into some one you could fall in love with, and taught me how to believe that it was possible. I am certain now that the gods have a plan-all we have to do is figure out how to make it happen." His voice rang with total conviction.
Something in his eyes as he smiled at her, and the depth of conviction in his words, moved Laura deeply. Suddenly, illogically, her future didn't feel as bleak as it had only a few moments ago.
Laura took a deep breath; she felt a spark of hope igniting deep inside her. For the first time since she left Caprica, she was daring to believe that there might be a future for her...for them. It was totally irrational, her death was a forgone certainty... yet Bill clearly believed in what he was saying; he was asking her to trust in the two of them. A bit like love itself, it was just a matter of faith.